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Part 117: Internal Dissent

May 08, 2018

  1. Intro

    Welcome one and all to another episode of the one, the only Civ Battle Royale Mk. 2.1! I am your host, u/knight13117, longtime supporter of Vietnam and recently, a supporter of the CBR on Patreon. This week’s OC is courtesy of u/CastoloXimenez, depicting the fallen Emperor of Boerkind on his Golden Throne. Surely, all the deaths to come will be worthy sacrifices to this undead, cyborg god-king.

  2. Erlen Tile Accurate Map

    From u/DerErlenkonig’s Tile Accurate Map, we can see that Brazil has made gains on every front. Every single nation on the cylinder is feeling the Brazilian heat, but notably, the British Isles are now unified, and Brazil has also expanded its foothold in northeastern Siberia.

  3. Vihreean Map

    While the Vihreean hand-drawn map shows essentially the same data as the Tile Accurate Map, to me at least, the artistry gives certain nations a little bit of personality based on their map alone. Sweden looks very stressed, Sibir looks stoically determined, and Australia has no idea what’s happening outside their personal continent.

  4. PR Slide

    Number 1 is Brazil, of course, and their number of capitals continues to rise, ending last part at 51. That’s only ten more capitals they need to win the game!

  5. 1

    Onto the action! We open with a shot of the Eastern Inuit Empire. Ever since the Great Schism brought by the capture of Ivvavik, the East has tried to maintain communication with the Western Inuit Empire, but Brazilian “jammers” (actually musicians jamming to samba music) have kept the East quite ignorant of what’s going on in Alaska and Kamchatka. Also, the Eastern Inuit have lost their foothold of Sanikiluaq.

  6. 2

    And that is not the only city they’ve lost. The provisional capital of Nattfaravik, captured from Iceland not so long ago, has fallen to Pedro the Magnanimous. Ekeuhnick sets off in his private Biodrone to the Western Inuit Empire - perhaps things are safer there.

  7. 3

    “Behold Brazilian Iceland,” proclaims Pedro, “where you can go dancing in the mountains and flirt with Carnival performers in the hot springs.” ...That sounds pretty nice, actually. If only that pesky holdout city of Vatnafjordur wasn’t in the way of total conquest.

  8. 4

    As the previous narrator noted, the Tonsberg-Stavanger-Birka line has been definitively overrun, but Gustavus Adolphus holds on. The mountainous terrain certainly impedes the Brazilian soldiers, but Skara, unprotected by mountains, looks ready to fall in a few turns.

  9. 5

    Pedro has committed a staggering number of Biotroopers and Robot Infantry to this front. One wonders if he realizes that he’s actually conquered all the capitals of this region already. He could simply let the remaining Swedes live their lives in peace, since they no longer threaten him.

  10. 6

    Across the sea from the Northern Jyvaskyla, Sibirian troops maintain a daring defence of their country’s northwestern border. Time will tell if powerful Arsenal Ships and Missile Cruisers can stem the vast tide of unprotected embarked units.

  11. 7

    Brazil defends their recently-gained salient of Beaumont, but incredibly, a lone Sibirian Biotrooper makes his way past the enemy lines, and looks poised to flip the city next turn. Sibir is nothing if not resilient. But Zarani is about to be captured, and Qashliq sits right on the front lines...

  12. 8

    On Sibir’s southern front, Brazil gloats over the pacification of Hue, a tremendously important city for the sake of morale, for obvious reasons. At the moment, Sibir is holding the line, but with Hue captured, that Brazilian laughter will have to find new places to spread...

  13. 9

    For a brief time, it looked like Kuchum Khan’s army could make its way through the mountain pass near Gongju to conquer Korea. Clearly, that has not happened, and now Brazilians head through the pass in the other direction. Meanwhile, Brazilian Robot Commando Squad “Café Com Leite” successfully captures the northern cities of Tyukanskoye and Nizhnekolymsk.

  14. 10

    Korea is mounting an impressive defence, using a strong air force to deny Brazil access to Gangneung. Nonetheless, Ytyk-Kyuyol looks ready to flip back, after a brief Korean recapture.

  15. 11

    Wow. We might be seeing the next capital added to Brazil’s list soon. Despite the aforementioned impressive air force, Sejong seems to be sending them on bombing runs of distant cities instead of strafing runs on incoming units. Cleverly, Pedro has set up a Mech Artillery on a small island south of the Korean peninsula to provide fire support.

  16. 12

    The far quieter Battle of Mililani Mauka rages in the Pacific Ocean to the southeast. Can a single Brazilian Advanced Destroyer take on a city guarded by a Biodrone and a Missile Cruiser? Place your bets! (I think Australia will win this brief skirmish.)

  17. 13

    The situation in the Philippines remains static - I’m pretty sure this is the exact same shot as three turns ago, minus the movement of units. Maybe Brazil, Australia, and the long-suffering Filipinos once led by José Rizal have finally managed to achieve peace? Maybe???

  18. 14

    A Brazilian task force makes its way into the countryside between Dong Hoi and Than Hoa, likely to get flanked and routed by Vietnamese troops. The Trungs cheer on their forces with an improvised speech: “The Babylonians say we cannot defeat Brazil. But we Can Tho!”

  19. 15

    Long Bien has been captured, cementing Brazilian control of the Burmese coast. It was a Long time coming. ...Okay, I’ll stop.

  20. 16

    Brazil expands its foothold in Indochina with Panduranga, the former Cham capital. Unlike its numerous flips during the Blackfoot and Australian attacks on Vietnam, this time, it looks ready to stay in the hands of the invader. (Aside from that plucky Viet-Tron™ Amphibious Assault Robot guarded by a Cybersub.)

  21. 17

    With the capture of Medan, Brazil officially controls the island of Borneo... with the exception of a single uranium mine. Australian resistance fighters plan to blow up the mine in a devastating act of nuclear sabotage.

  22. 18

    We get a glimpse of the Western Inuit Empire, faring slightly better than its Eastern counterpart, although the capture of Qurluqtuq threatens the rest of Alaska. Ekeuhnick’s Biodrone touches down in Akviligjuaq, and the Inuit leader names it the new capital, angering the Eastern Inuit. If it’s captured, perhaps Ekeuhnick will return the capital to the East in an act of reconciliation. ...If there even IS an Eastern Inuit Empire by then.

  23. 19

    Coff’s Harbour, still the largest city in the cylinder if I recall correctly, sits untouched amid its bountiful fishing boats and atolls. Given the slowness of the Pacific War, I wonder if Brazil will actually capture Sydney the hard way, heading west in a land war across the Australian continent, instead of simply attempting a naval snipe from the east.

  24. 20

    Indeed, the Antarctic front actually appears to have fewer forces committed there than before. One Brazilian Advanced Destroyer ignored the order to hold back, and will soon become a burning wreck amid the surprisingly vast crab fisheries.

  25. 21

    New turn! To the left, the Eastern Inuit recapture Sanikiluaq, showing they still have some fight in them yet. Nonetheless, Brazilian soldiers make their way through the harsh Arctic cordillera terrain of Baffin Island, dead set on making North America exclusively Brazilian.

  26. 22

    To the right, Vatnafjordur has been captured, officially turning Iceland into Greenland. From his new capital at Borgarnes, Ingólfur Arnarson makes a bold speech proclaiming Greenland’s independence from the Brazilian-sympathizing bureaucrats in the Icelandic homeland. He tries to make a parallel with Brazil’s legendary declaration of independence from Portugal, but Pedro’s ambassadors simply shake their heads. “In what universe could Brazil have ever been a colony of Lazy Maria?”

  27. 23

    Thanks to Gustavus’s tactical prowess, Sweden holds the new Bergen-Skara-Eidsvoll line quite well, possibly overturning my prediction of an easy capture of Skara. Nonetheless, Brazil advances north on the Finnish front, slowly encircling Gustavus’s once-mighty empire.

  28. 24

    Brazil continues its Arctic Ocean strategy of sending vast hordes of unescorted troop transports, and despite the prowess of the Sibirian navy, this strategy might actually work thanks to Brazil’s sheer numbers. Kuchum, you have more ships to the east! Send them in, for Nebuchadnezzar’s sake! On land, Joensuu has been captured, although the Sibirian army rushes to reverse that.

  29. 25

    Thankfully, this front is not a repeat of the mountain meatgrinder. Instead, there is harsh fighting in what I believe to be the Gobi Desert. For now, the former Mongolian capital of Karakorum appears relatively safe.

  30. 26

    Ytyk-Kyuyol falls indeed. The Western Inuit feel the pressure slowly mounting as Isit, Russkoye Ustye, and Olenyok are subjected to regular bombing raids.

  31. 27

    Wow. An Arctic nuclear wasteland appears where Sanjarak used to be. Frustrated with their continued contest over the city, only for Brazil to snipe it under their noses, clearly Korea and the Western Inuit made some sort of pact to forget the city ever existed. Drop the bomb, and fuhgettaboutit.

  32. 28

    As before, Korea’s air force (I presume) bravely holds the line. Sejong’s citizens should be guaranteed several more turns of peace - and by then, perhaps the struggle will be over.

  33. 29

    Pedro continues his strategy of throwing hordes of embarked melee units across the sea, and decides to move his Mech Artillery closer to the Korean capital. If Sejong’s scattered navy can’t break through the wall of troop transports, all is lost.

  34. 30

    I think at least one unit was picked off from that Brazilian advance, but it’s sure not the rout I was hoping for. In fact, the Trungs seem to have given up on defending their more northern holdings, concentrating their forces around Saigon and Qui Nihon.

  35. 31

    I sure hope Hanoi doesn’t fall to that lone Robot Infantry, because that would be an unfairly anticlimactic end for the venerable Empire of Vietnam. Pedro’s having some trouble getting past the Burmese mountains, but Senggezangbo, on the far eastern part of the Indo-Gangetic plain, is about to be encircled.

  36. 32

    The Viet-Tron™ Amphibious Assault Robot has failed in its mission to retake Panduranga. Instead, it has been brutally dismantled, and its parts have been used to make new Carnival floats. Also, wow, that’s quite the naval force attacking the Malay Peninsula, including carriers that have planes on them (I love how that’s actually a significant observation in the cylinder).

  37. 33

    The Australian resistance fighters in that uranium mine on Borneo are waging a one-sided fight against a Brazilian Biotrooper squad. If they fail, at least they’ll die with the comfort that their homeland is safe for the time being.

  38. 34

    The Western Inuit breathe a sigh of relief as Brazil’s advance stalemates. They ply Ekeuhnick with gifts of bannock and akutaq (Inuit ice cream), and proclaim their victory over the invading Brazilians. Ekeuhnick is ambivalent, and remembers the fun hiking trips in the Canadian Arctic islands back in the Eastern Inuit Empire.

  39. 35

    Another turn passes! Speaking of the Eastern Inuit, they continue to hold out against the more aggressive Brazilian troops in this area. Tara is ready to fall, and even the incredibly misnamed city of Holford’s Prairie is under fire. I wonder if Texan colonists managed to make some kind of deal with the Inuit long ago.

  40. 36

    Wahpetonwan is now the only city on Baffin Island to remain in Eastern Inuit control. The inhabitants of this curiously Sioux city wonder whether they should accept their incoming overlords or not.

  41. 37

    Clearly, Pedro was unimpressed by Ingólfur’s declaration of independence from his own country, and promptly seizes his new Greenlandic capital. The lack of resistance or population loss indicates that even in Greenland, Brazilian sympathizers remain. Flabbergasted, Ingólfur declares the independence of the Selfoss Empire from the crooked bureaucrats of the former administration.

  42. 38

    Wow. With the capture of Turku, Pedro now controls the entirety of irl Finland. Furthermore, troops have advanced to within spitting distance of Eidsvoll. Is this the end for the Lion of the North?

  43. 39

    Against all odds, Brazil still fails to take Gorky. Clearly, the Sibirian navy and air force know what they’re doing. I wonder how much longer Kuchum can maintain this balancing act.

  44. 40

    No city flips on the Gobi Desert front this turn, but Brazil has eliminated the weak Sibirian armies defending them. However, there’s a greater development in this slide, if you can see it...

  45. 41

    Tabriz, which in real life is apparently the most populated city in Iranian Azerbaijan, has been nuked (or razed) off the map. I assume this was the work of Brazil, but you never know in total war. The countryside to the south of what used to be Tabriz, however, remains oddly Sibirian. Maybe they haven’t heard the news.

  46. 42

    Brazilian Robot Commando Squad “Café Com Leite” sets off on a new mission to capture Joinville. It looks like Kuchum has enough forces to thwart this attempt - but what about Brazilian Robot Commando Squad “Café Com Leite” Mk. II, waiting in the garrison at Nizhnekolymsk?

  47. 43

    “All quiet on the Brazilian front,” reports Sejong’s generals. Of course, almost all of the front is Brazilian, but they neglect to report that fact. Curiously, a source of uranium remains unimproved, but Sejong’s military engineers recommend against sending workers past the Brazilian Robot Infantry.

  48. 44

    Wow. Not only does Seoul remain standing, Korea has recaptured Kyoto. Pedro might want to rethink his “amphibious horde” strategy.

  49. 45

    Senggezangbo takes more damage as Pedro moves his forces out of the Brazilian Raj. However, I must say, the Trungs maintain an admirable air force in this region. If only they had more ground troops.

  50. 46

    Pedro steps up his attack on the Malay Peninsula, capturing Lam Ap Pho and utterly destroying Thi Li Bi Nai. His admirals will be even more thrilled if he can capture the canal cities of Co Loa and Mandalay.

  51. 47

    The Battle of Mililani Mauka draws to an epic conclusion: the Advanced Destroyer is advancely destroyed. But amazingly, the Biodrone and Missile Cruiser are gone, and the city’s population has decreased. I’m pretty sure that Advanced Destroyer managed a flip before it sunk.

  52. 48

    Despite the lack of forces in the area, Shepparton has flipped to Brazil. Slowly, but surely, Pedro aims to conquer Antarctica.

  53. 49

    And in our last shot, the Western Inuit have a sharp intake of breath as amphibious Brazilian troops capture Kangirliniq. Is the West as safe as Ekeuhnick thought?

It was an honour to narrate, and I hope you enjoyed it! A reminder that the CBR team is only $4 away from their monthly goal of $80 per month. I get that a ton of us are students or young professionals, but I figured I might as well donate the cost of a coffee for my main weekly source of entertainment.

See you next time in the mind-boggling Civ Battle Royale Mk. 2.1!