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Part 102: Emergency Activated

January 23, 2018

  1. Intro

    Hello, everyone! I am /u/Andy0132, Power Ranker Extraordinaire for both CBR Mark 2, and CBR Mark 2.1, as well as a fervent participant of its various derivatives! This week, BC has given me the honour of narrating Part 102. Although I’ve heard vague promises that it’ll be a blast, I’ve got no idea what’s going on so far. Before we dive in, though, we see /u/just-a-basic-human’s carefully constructed shitpost, where we realize what Kruger, and likely much of the cylinder, thinks of Brazilian troops.

  2. PR Slide

    We see here the new kings of the Battle Royale, Brazil. Having been ranked first 9-3 over the Boers, we PR certainly like big carpets and cannot lie.

  3. Tile Accurate Map

    We see here the Tile Accurate Map of /u/DerErlenKonig, and with it Brazilian conquest of Sri Lanka. We also see on here the Blackfoot landings in former Champa lands, and plenty of bordergore.

  4. Melon Map

    Meanwhile, on the Melon Map, by the eponymous /u/Spherical_Melon, we see just how much of the Swedish-Siberian border is puppetted, Boer institution of D I R E C T R U L E in most of former Persia and Afghanistan, as well as the bordergore caused by Blackfoot landings.

  5. Neverflipped Map

    Finally, we also have the Neverflipped Map, by /u/thehonestyfish, where we find out just how much of the cores of our great powers remain untouched through over a hundred parts of death, devastation, and destruction. Conspicuously absent is the Australian capital of Sydney, which was nuked, then flipped, and then held for a turn, by the Maori, long, long ago. Oh, and before we begin, we have a message from our Shitposter-in-Chief, Glycolysis! “david bowie meme school 10 minutes.”

  6. 1

    Off the bat, we see the partition and demolition of Sri Lanka as a civ. Anuradhapura (Dawkinzz, I hope you enjoy saying these names) falls to the Boers, while we see Trincovalee and Kandy, which as our eagle-eyed observers caught, fell into Brazilian hands. Frankly, for our top two powers, this is as easy as taking Kandy from a baby. We also see continued Brazilian control over the islands of Pathein and Sri Jayawardenapura Kotte, as well as an a substantial amount of Brazilian XComs. Also worth noting that Brazil and Sri Lanka have made their peace. The Boer army in the region appears to be nonexistent.

  7. 2

    Here, we see the last stand of Sri Lanka. Mini-Pedro has wisely made his peace, leaving the Boerg to take the diplomatic penalty for the kill. For the last defenders of Negombo and Sri Lanka, they have little left to them but their lives. Well, that, and a lot of carriers courtesy of Big Carrier, who help them along in their final moments. Surprisingly, there’s a lack of Brazilian green in Arabia and in Persia. Perhaps they don’t like sand?

  8. 3

    A sea of green unfurls, not Vietnamese green, but Brazilian. Brazilian vacationers and fifth columnists have occupied everything from Nagchukha in Old Tibet, to Busan, Korea. Compared to last part, Blackfoot forces have seized Tianjin, while Bien Hoa takes a beating.

  9. 4

    Hoi An flips back to Vietnamese hands, while the Blackfoot presence is substantially weakened. However, Vigan, Cebu, Bien Hoa, and Caloocan all look like they’re about to bite the bullet. Also, fun fact, when the slides were originally sent to me, some were out of order, giving me quite the bamboozle.

  10. 5

    Here, we see that although the Blackfoot has lost their hold upon Vijaya, they maintain their grip precariously on Panduranga and Kauthara. Olongapo falls into the red, as bombers strike day and night over the forward base.

  11. 6

    Here, we see the Boer forward base of Ambon, the Brazilian Andamans (SJK and Pathein), and a Vietnam in possession of half of Sumatra. The Kimberley seem to have survived thus far, will they survive further? Worth noting Bago has fallen to the red.

  12. 7

    Here, we see the Siberian front, as Sibir flips Tyumen, yet for all their might, can make no headway against Brazilian fifth columnists. The mountains are sealed, although the cities behind them are in deep black. Also we see an Exclavian Great Musician, playing their swan song.

  13. 8

    Here, we see out in the middle of the Pacific, a French galleass, from ages long past, before the Hiatus came. Never Forget. We also see a substantial collection of Big Carrier’s investments. Will they ever be stopped from stopping war?

  14. 9

    Blackfoot holdings in Vietnam have substantially increased, with Vigan and Bien Hoa added to their collection. Caloocan feels the heat, while Hoi An goes back up to 2 population, as the shattered city gives all they got at rebuilding.

  15. 10

    We see in this slide the fall of Kauthara again, as it has flipped back into Vietnamese hands from those of the Blackfoot. What’s more, Olongapo remains in the red. Is this the end of the Blackfoot forward base?

  16. 11

    Blackfoot buildup in Manchuria (Yes, actually Manchuria this time) is outdated, but massive. However, the concentration of units as outdated as artillery, paratroopers, and mechanized infantry, is worrying for any Blackfoot fan. As a bonus, count the Korean settlers! I’m seeing eight.

  17. 12

    In addition to the bazillion Brazilians swarming everywhere, Korean peacekeepers join the mix around Rach Gia! Forced out of their homeland by Blackfoot peacekeepers, they go to persuade those peacekeepers to go back to being peaceful. It doesn’t work very well...

  18. 13

    DOOT DOOT! Kimberley has taken Sri Jayawardenapura Kotte back from Brazil, putting the score from 2-0 to 1-0. Will Kimberley force Brazil back out of their lands?

  19. 14

    Off to Europe, we see massive carpets of Brazilian units. Paratroopers and Drone UAVs dominate the mass, while Biodrones and XComs are more noticeable in the top and bottom of the shot. Brazil has broken the game, for war is no more in Europe.

  20. 15

    Press F to Pay Respects. After a long and admittedly dreadfully boring life, with the highlights being taking over the southern Mughal lands, and losing their core to Australia and then Vietnam, Sri Lanka has met its end. There’s not a Sri Lankan melee unit to be found in the shot, and with this, the last hope of Sri Lanka is dead. F

  21. 16

    Over here, we see lots of naval bordergore courtesy of Exclavia, a refugee worker, and two Brazilian forward bases in India. Sorry, did I just say Brazilian forward bases in India? Never would have thought they’d get this far.

  22. 17

    Finally, after a grand total of three turns, the Blackfoot have been kicked out of Indochina, with Panduranga returning to Vietnamese control. Will peace follow, or will the only peace be that won by a sword?

  23. 18

    Vigan remains, but the Blackfoot presence in China is now threadbare. Brazilian fifth columnists continue to fill the land, and the seas.

  24. 19

    Bien Hoa has fallen, as Vietnam pushes back against the Blackfoot. However, Tianjin and Vigan remain in Crowfoot’s control. Also, someone do something about all the goddamn peacekeepers.

  25. 20

    We see here the vast Brazilian core, filled to the brim with paratroopers, robot infantry, and others. Although paratroopers aren’t the most powerful of units, they serve the vital purpose of filling up Brazil so their units end up in other countries. We also see Brazil declare its intent to eradicate bordergore worldwide.

  26. 21

    The Blackfoot join this rallying cry. Will the Boers follow suit? Also, we see Australian vacationers, alongside a full Blackfoot core.

  27. 22

    I smell a coalition coming! Iceland joins the anti-bordergore coalition, setting the stage for the Third Kekkonning. Also, ridiculous amounts of Brazilian boaters. The Boers also make their peace with the battered remnants of the Sri Lankan military.

  28. 23

    Korea joins the call, as we see how Iceland has outsourced their military not only to Big Carrier, but also to Brazilians and Blackfoot. I wonder how the denizens of the Cylinder view mercenary and peacekeeper armies.

  29. 24

    Peace, again, is made, while empty lands in India beckon for Brazilian peacekeepers.

  30. 25

    Although Australia attempts to pass Natural Heritage Sites, it seems that it shall not pass. Australia has made themselves many enemies across the cylinder, who care nothing for the Great Barrier Reef, or Ayer’s Rock/Uluru.

  31. 26

    At last, we see Boer territory in Africa not carpeted by Brazilians. Naturally, it’s carpeted by workers. This is sure to shake the faith of the PR in the Boers even further. Notably, Arts Funding was passed! Despite efforts by Iceland, the corpse of Sri Lanka, and the Free Independent and Strictly Neutral City of Hawaii, Arts Funding goes ahead. Blood and war certainly make for a good topic to stir up feeling in artists.

  32. 27

    Tyumen falls, as the Exclavians are pushed out of one of their three main exclaves. Although the Exclavians still possess a melee unit in the region, it will not be enough.

  33. 28

    Also falling is Hrazdan, meaning that the Exclavians have been pushed onto their last city, in Batticoloa. We also see some citadel warfare between the Boers and Sibir north of Ha Long.

  34. 29

    Off to the east, we see that Tianjin has flipped back to Vietnam, pushing the Blackfoot out of China entirely. Is this the end of their time in the sun?

  35. 30

    It may not be so, as the Blackfoot still hold their forward base, from which another attack may be launched. That being said, I think we can write off Blackfoot dreams of Hanoi.

  36. 31

    Korea, who the Blackfoot were dependent upon for peacekeeper storage, has turned their backs and denounced the Blackfoot. For what reason, we know not, but could this escalate bigger? That being said, that’s not the real news on this slide. THE BOERS AND BUCCS HAVE DECLARED WAR ON ARMENIA!

  37. 32

    As Kuchum Khan makes peace with Urho Kekkonnen, we see the true difficulties associated with an invasion of Armenia. Simply put, Brazilians. Meanwhile, by taking so many CS out (Dvin, Armenia, Sri Lanka), Kruger’s been building himself quite the bad rep. Will this result in the Brazilians kniving all his organs at once?

  38. 33

    Off of Sale, Henry Morgan plots on how to defeat the Boers. After hours of deliberation, he comes up with the plan. “How shall we cause the Boers to overextend? We’ll make them burn their troops on Armenia!” Coiot's Note: Morgan you genius!

  39. 34

    Meanwhile, in the Middle East, Brazilian peacekeepers have absolutely flooded everything. Although the Armenian army is composed of four combat units, all but one of which are long outdated, they might just survive this.

  40. 35

    As we turn our gazes away from the Middle East, we spy Sibir having caught a breach in the Brazilian peacekeeper armies, to seize Bamda back. Now the Trungs are on the back foot. Will Sibir go the way of the Blackfoot, their conquests lasting barely all of three turns?

  41. 36

    Here, we see a 0 HP Pathein, and a Kimberley in a position to take it. Will the Kimberley walk out of the war with Mini-Pedro unharmed?

  42. 37

    OH BOY OH BOY! Brazil denounces the Blackfoot. Will war break out between our two peacekeeper powers?

  43. 38

    Meanwhile, in Karakorum, Genghis wakes up. Looking around groggily at himself, he totters over to the war table, where his generals mention that Korea has no army. Tired, he decides to denounce Korea anyway, for giving him something to have to think about before morning coffee.

  44. 39

    Here, we see the Swedish annexation of Hebron, more D I R E C T R U L E F R O M P R A E T O R I A from the Boers, as well as the beginnings of the assimilation of Gaza. More ominously, we see a vast green carpet of Brazilian vacationers, devouring all in its path. As for Armenia, I doubt a 98 strength city, a Power Armour Infantry, a Marine, a Caravan, and a Great Merchant will hold out for more than perhaps one turn, given how Boer biotroopers are already in range of the city.

  45. 40

    Over here, we see the Fall of Urgench, as Sibir moves further into Vietnamese territory. Although the Siberians are slowed by the veritable ocean of Brazilians, Sibir is at least able to make troops. Vietnam, on the other hand, has nowhere to go. Khost appears to be next on the list of Sibir. Go Kuchum Khan!

  46. 41

    We pan back to Vietnamese China, where we see vast Brazilian hordes, a few more Blackfoot units in Korea, and a Siberian unit in the top left, presumably having managed to find a crack in the Brazilian armour.

  47. 42

    Sri Lanka lives on, in a refugee submarine off the shores of Australia. “We All Live In a Red Submarine.” plays day and night, reminding the few remaining Sri Lankans to not open the hatch while they’re underwater.

  48. 43

    Up north, we see Brazilian control over the Andamans solidify, as peace is made with Jandamarra. To be honest, Jandamarra hasn’t done too badly, considering how he’s just walked out of a war with the top two powers on the Cylinder.

  49. 44

    Urgench flips back to Vietnam, but it’s already deep in the black. Meanwhile, Brazilian fifth columnists continue to swarm everywhere. Count the Finnish Great Musicians!

  50. 45

    Oh boy... The Blackfoot are on the back foot, as Olongapo falls to an embarked Vietnamese Robot Infantry, and given how the only troops Crowfoot retains on the island are a damaged paratrooper, it doesn’t seem like the forward base will be retaken. Indeed, the whole of the Blackfoot Empire in East Asia has met its final hour, with Panduranga, Kauthara, Vijaya, Hoi An, and others, all being in Vietnamese hands once more.

  51. 46

    Here, we see the Swedish core, replete with Jyvaskylä, its twin in Ukraine offscreen. More relevantly, we see that while Sweden proper is filled out with Brazilian vacationers, Former Finland is not. Also, look at that amazing population! With the exception of Lodose, Jonkoping, Lappeenranta and a few others, every city here is above 20, or even well into the 30s for pop.

  52. 47

    Oh boy, round two is here! This time, Kruger ropes Ekeuhnick into the war, as Boer, Inuit, and Kimberley clash once again. Janadamarra is either shitting himself, or hunkering down for round two. We also see part of the Ice Sheet Fleet, naturally short of advanced destroyers. All the same, it seems to be surprisingly free of Big Carrier’s influence.

  53. 48

    Here, we see the Kimberley core. Not one to go down quietly, the Kimberley have already taken back Ambon, carpeted their core, and look to face their end with their chins held high.

  54. 49

    In a move that must have pirates cylinderwide getting sleepless nights, Minipedro denounces Henry Morgan. Will Brazil come back to push the Buccs off the continent? Also, we see an exodus of Boer workers through Buccaneer lands.

  55. 50

    Here, we see the Sibir-Nam frontier, with Urgench having flipped once more into Vietnamese hands. Can Sibir seize the city, and push the border back further?

  56. 51

    Iceland joins on the Bucc hate train, with a denouncement. More irrelevantly, however, both the Trungs and Mongolia have gone to war with Finland! Neither can reach Finland as it stands, as Batticaloa remains snug in its safe place in Arabia.

  57. 52

    We see here the aforementioned Batticaloa, protected by its guard of Afghan peacekeepers. More interestingly, however, we see that the Brazilian units have all moved out of Boer territory. There’s not a Brazilian to be found in Boer lands. Has the moment of war finally come?

  58. 53

    With the Brazilians having left Boer lands behind, the Boer core looks sad and empty, with some cities lacking even a single unit to garrison them. We also see the Fate of Gaza, with Armenia assimilated into the Boers. Indeed, as eagle-eyed viewers might have realized already, Armenia died three turns (10 slides) ago. F Ever plucky, and ever resilient, Armenia was a survivor until the end. But alas, no strength, no eternal will, no awe-inspiring victory, could survive the wrath of Kuchum Khan, and then the total annihilation delivered by Skynet. That which fell Vietnam, felled Armenia. May you rest in peace, Tiridates.

  59. 54

    We see more symptoms that the Brazilians have at last left Boer lands. The Kongo, once so full of vacationers and fifth columnists, is now bare and empty. Again, this paints a paradoxial scene. On one hand, city strengths reach as high as 207. On the other, many cities lack even basic garrisons. On the other hand again, even without a garrison, the cities have upwards of 170s in strength. Now that the open borders have ended, will mini-Pedro go to war? Coiot's Note: Forgie's Law

  60. 55

    Goddamnit, BC. Stop teasing us! Before BC allows us to see the conclusion of the Boer-Brazilian tensions in Africa, we pan to the Sibir-Nam frontier to see the cost of war. Nukes again fly, and Sibir is the target. We also note where the peacekeepers in Boer lands have gone. In an instant, Sibir is flooded.

  61. 56

    Holy Shit. Holy Shit. Holy Shit. A four-way coalition has been formed against the Boers! Brazil, Sibir, Iceland, and Vietnam, along with the Kimberley, make the Second OCP. Who Will Win?

  62. 57

    Off the bat, Brazil makes it clear they’d be the main contributor to the alliance. That being said, they’ll have a tough time of it. Although XComs (100 combat strength), Biotroopers (120 combat strength), and Robot infantry (120 combat strength) are strong, paratroopers (65 strength) are nowhere close. Anyhow, first turn of war, Anurahadpura into the red, Kandy into yellow. Reon's Note: We are actually using TPang's modified FW v2 which has Biotroopers at 100 strength.

  63. 58

    Here, we are reminded that the Second OCP is not simply Brazil while a weakened Vietnam cheers on and provides moral support, but also includes Sibir, who in fact is in an excellent position to damage Boer Persia/India. That being said, with Sibir and Vietnam still at war, will they take this opportunity to make peace, or fight each other rather than the Boers?

  64. 59

    FATALITY! On the first turn of war still, Persepolis falls to Brazilian peacekeepers. What’s more, Ghapani is already deep, deep, into the black. We also see a Hawaiian peacekeeper outside of Persepolis, vaguely muttering about peace.

  65. 60

    Off to Anatolia, where we are reminded Iceland is also involved in the Second OCP, we see Jerusalem into the deep black, and a colossal tide of Brazilian units pouring down on Anatolia.

  66. 61

    Off to Arabia, we see the recently assimilated Gaza, Brazilian XComs, and an otherwise-empty Boer core. The Boers are anything but ready, for the storm that will doubtless follow.

  67. 62

    Carthago Nova has fallen into the yellow, but has Carthage been put at risk? Will Iceland go to war, only to be the next Buccaneers, putting up a splendid effort in their OCP only to be kicked out of Africa?

  68. 63

    Now we’re off to Boer North Africa, as empty as the rest of the Boer lands. Although Ciudad Del Carmen is in the yellow, there really isn’t much in the way of enemies. Also, we see the Boer worker carpet.

  69. 64

    Off to Portugal, we see that it’s completely filled with Brazilian XComs. I don’t see this remaining Boer for another two turns. Also, Funchal has taken damage.

  70. 65

    Off to Former Morocco, we see Isit and Fort De-France in the deep black, and the other prize Iceland stands to lose in Africa, Marrakech (and Neuvitas, I suppose).

  71. 66

    Next, we see the South Atlantic, which seems calm. How long will that calm last?

  72. 67

    For our parting shot, we see the Hawaiian islands, peaceful and pretty damned huge. Will Australia join in the OCP? If so, on whose side? With this, I bid you all adieu. Oh, and Dawkinzz? Jyvaskylä, and sorry in advance for any impossibly irritating city names. /u/Andy0132 signing out.