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Part 5: How to Fight Wars Good

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    Good evening ladies and gentlemen and all the triremes at sea. Welcome to the /r/Civ 60+ Civ Battle Royale (with cheese) Mk. II |…

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    The state of the world, 2740 B.C., presented in a ravishing limited edition folio by SylonL. Reserve your copy today by clicking o…

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    All of recorded history to this moment, presented with hexaccurate™ precision by/u/cr42yr1ch.

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    In 2740 B.C., just north of here in China, a book of military strategy and tactics is written by The Guy Who Won All Those Wars. I…

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    Leonidas, marching north with his hoplites, reads a copy of How to Fight Wars Good and gets really super inspired. He decides the…

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    President Juárez reads the communiqué just brought to him by carrier parrot from his, General Santa Ana. “Your Excellency, As per…

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    Abraham Lincoln reads his classified briefing from CIC William Westmoreland: “There has been some concerning and frankly surprisin…

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    Jose Rizal concentrates the efforts of his people and what you could charitably call his armed forces to the City of Cebu and envi…

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    The Inuit start to colonize the Alaskan peninsula. They are a broad-minded people, and in one of their oldest traditions, the citi…

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    When word reached Ivvavik about the Sioux settlement of Sichangu, what had been a cold war suddenly got very hot. A great number o…

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    With Castro settled and growing, the Chilean grasp on Patagonia tightened. Eva Peron instantly regretted listening to her advisors…

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    Having secured their eastern border as best they can, the Brazilians start to populate their rich Atlantic coast. Of Note: Inuit…

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    Tragedy! King Leonidas dies in combat on the outskirts of Lodz! Leonidas the younger, fighting in the forests between Cumae and Te…

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    The Black Sea and the formidable nation of Armenia. They are prepared to bring their faith by force into the lands of the heathens…

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    Iceland settles Newfoundland. Does this make them the first colonizer of another continent? The Hawaiians and Sri Lankans have som…

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    President Juárez sends carrier parrot after carrier parrot to General Santa Ana on the ramparts around Austin pleading, “why, now…

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    Both spies were consummate professionals and had worked well together over the last year, quietly coordinating their respective na…

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    “So what? So they build this other Leningrad? Let them build. Let them grow. We will grow, too. We will grow fat. On good food and…

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    To: His Excellency Harun al-Rashid From: Just A Simple Lawyer Who wants to help the Empire Re: Possible Big Settlement! Your Exce…

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    “So wait. Why didn’t we found Yeji on the coast?” “Because that’s where they put their city. F*ck those guys.” Of Note: Mali spr…

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    After reading an inspiring book from China, Meiji finally gives his eager Daimyos the word. A week later, rising out of the ocean…

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    I’ll tell ya, if I had to choose one of these civs to actually live in? Hands down Hawaii. Yeah, of course they’re not going to wi…

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    The men and women of Peron’s court could finally breath a sigh of relief. Yes, they were entering into risky times with this war a…

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    The Australians are really pumping out the settlers and populating their lush eastern coast. The Kimberly, the Maori and the Austr…

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    Ché Bông Nga’s heroic resistance inspires Champa men and women from all over the countryside to march north to Vijaya with their h…

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    Good Lord! The Earth reels as though it will spin off its very axis! The Timurids, a thousand miles away from Vietnam and with two…

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    Mao, having put his full faith in The Guy Who Won All Those Wars, waits anxiously as operation Great Leap Forward commences. Chine…

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    As the Trungs feared, Anawrahta seems to back away from his promises to well and truly join the fight against the Champa. He build…

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    Having secured another port on the Indian Ocean and having cut off Tibet from the sea, the Mughals see no need for further bloodsh…

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    Lincoln’s security detail stops him in Philadelphia. The situation in Baltimore has deteriorated too much to allow him to continue…

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    Lincoln gets a report from his spymaster: “Meeting in Auyuittiq concluded. Our Mexican asset assured our man that Juárez is fight…

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    The Mongolians make peace with Tibet, and Mali buries the hatchet with the Ashanti. The Drumroll war is over – part of the 2645 B.…

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    As the Tibetans and Mongolians go back to their corners, the Wave of Peace keeps waving – the Germans give up their fight against…

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    Caesar sets up a fortress east of Cumae, all but cutting Sparta off from its German front. Leonidas the younger, happy he can conc…

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    The Black Prince did not like to have his strategic decisions questioned. He liked even less to have those decisions countermanded…

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    The Inuit pop out settlers faster than the Australians and fill in all of Alaska faster than you can say, ‘mush.’

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    Mirwais Hotak convinces Tibet, already reeling from a lost war that just ended, to enter into a crusade with him against the Burme…

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    “Baltimore has fallen, sir.” Lincoln stared out the second story window of Independence Hall. It was as if the air had been sucke…

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    Just how Icelandic people like it: cold as a witch’s tit.

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    General Spartacus finally learns the reason for his king’s subdued response to Sioux settlements on the Hudson Bay. He had taken a…

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    Look, I don’t want to take sides here, but I got to ask -- how can we sleep when Leningrad was burning? How can we dance when the…

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    The Yakutia, great sleeping bear of the Siberian wilderness, continue to spread both east and west. Look at that army. Why have t…

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    General The Guy Who Won All Those Wars decides too late to concentrate all his forces on Hoa Lu. Giáp Sends a stream of reinforcem…

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    The Trungs’ were right about their chicken-hearted Burmese allies who drop out of the war on the Champa, but it scarcely matters.…

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    “He what? He backed his archers away from siege range? Why did he do this?” demanded President Juárez. “Your Excellency, we ... w…

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    The Incan slingers wade into the fight around Machu. Fortaleza looks very vulnerable. General Galtieri commits to an assault again…

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    The Ethiopian spy spoke patiently but insistently to the Zulu warrior, “Yes, at first glance I grant you that Nobamba does looks l…

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    With geography on their side, the Polish can hold off the Spartans without exposing themselves to the Soviets or the Germans. Leon…

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    The Black Prince watches the tree line. A decimated band of Portuguese warriors staggers out into the clearing and runs for the wa…

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    The Icelandic Colonies flourish. I mean, I would never live there, but it’s very pretty. Or I’ve heard it’s pretty. Anyways, they…

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    Chonqing falls. Tianjin looks vulnerable. The Guy Who Won All Those Wars’ offensive around Hoa Lu utterly deteriorates. Mao, not…

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    After the fall of Vijaya, Ché Bông Nga sues for peace. Giáp, an admirer of Ché Bông Nga’s courage, advises the Trungs to accept th…

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    Jose Rizal continues to build up his forces. The Champa lick their wounds and look across the sea for expansion opportunities.

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    Sichangu becomes the locus of the combined Inuit-Blackfoot eastern front. Spartacus knows that they can cut off Sioux the smaller…

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    The Blackfoot come on strong around the Rockies, perhaps making a move to encircle Mdewakantonwan, where most of the Sioux forces…

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    Leonidas the younger knows calling off the war with Poland will make the Oligarchs lose faith in him. There’s nothing worse for a…

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    That Irish scout is still stuck in the back woods of Mississippi. Insert hillbilly moonshine/Irish people drinking joke here. Of…

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    Arrr, the Caribbean slowly goes black, me hearties. And finally now, we have ships to sail upon and plunder with. Our rum helps ba…

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    Having given up entirely on the war against the Vietnamese, Mao’s general starts a war with the now much stronger Mongolians over…

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    Leonidas the younger could talk to Hitler. Hitler was a lot like Leonidas the younger’s father and he knew just what to say to get…

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    Mao was ready to face total defeat; even at the hands of the Koreans if that were his fate. No matter what, he would fight on to t…

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    Top Pop. Some of the usual suspects. I was not expecting to see Texas in there. I suppose getting liquored up at the rodeo really…

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    Zulus still dead last here. Not to be crude, but please get f*cking, Zulu people! I want to see you implement your Impis! Surprise…

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    These folks are the ones to watch. Of Note: Looks like Eva never settled that settler

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    Rome dodged a bullet this time. Maybe they will make something out of this opportunity?

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    Not too many surprises here, either. But this is still the best part of the game for my money – even with some of the bigger playe…

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    Well, okay, Rome and Carthage, that’s not going to happen. But still. Adventure!

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    A lot of folks in the production top ten are throwing that production against each other right now in big, smart wars.

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    Judaism still kicking alms and taking souls.

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    Judaism is going wide into Europe and Asia, but it’s getting no love in Africa. Meanwhile, Catholicism is slowly creeping south an…