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Part 99: Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's CBR Part 99!

Narrated by GoatontheMountain

  1. Intro

    Happy holidays and greetings to you all! This is u/GoatontheMountain, coming to you with great humility and enthusiasm for the adv…

  2. Melon Map

    Behold, the glory of u/Spherical_Melon's Puppet Map. Where will all those painstakingly drawn lines shift over the coming ten turn…

  3. PR Slide

    The Power Rankings aren't even out yet, but I think we all know exactly what shade of oranje is featured above these words. It'll…

  4. 1

    We've made it to turn 113 of the MkII.b era, and what a journey awaits us! The nascent war for the world's tundra begins in earnes…

  5. 2

    A flood of notifications spin, though we shall never know their contents. Is it still a denouncement if no sentient creature ever…

  6. 3

    It's strangely empty around Selfoss, but Ingolfur may have (accurately!) decided it's both cheaper and safer to simply wait three…

  7. 4

    Europe, where strange blonde figures battle over the ancestral homes of nations now remembered only in the names that still dot th…

  8. 5

    To central Asia, where the Vietnamese take inspiration from the dwarfs and retreat to their mountain holdfasts. Sad to say, Boer f…

  9. 6

    To the east, Australia is back on the front foot in the northern theater, though we've seen this too many times to be conclusive.…

  10. 7

    Up to nine more nukes are more waiting to leave Western Australia even more empty than it is in our own world. Aussie workers stan…

  11. 8

    Good night, sweet, fractured zealot kingdom. All Tiridates (Armenia) ever wanted was to unite the world in the love of someone els…

  12. 9

    It's far too soon to project a result here, but that quartet of great generals west of Tegea will surely exacerbate the yawning ch…

  13. 10

    Goolarabooloo? More like GoolaraBOOMloo, no? The Vietnamese fleet is fading, but the devastated Millibinyarrin and Windjanan citiz…

  14. 11

    As expected, Parkes (Australia) takes Tianjian, but at the cost of all the melee forces involved. I'd say it will impossible to ho…

  15. 12

    Long ago, Tibet refused to found a religion. Forgotten in the centuries since then is that this leaves one slot open, and now the…

  16. 13

    Checking in on our new beliefs here, we see +2 culture, a waste, and +10% growth, a reasonable enough bonus though significantly l…

  17. 14

    Arianism is still clearly the best of all religions (production, science, industrial units and a bunch of culture) but Monasteries…

  18. 15

    Helpfully highlighted here, Sejong (Korea) will show Trigger (Darkhan, of Yakutia) mercy, leaving his descendants to ride out Ragn…

  19. 16

    Aussie flotsam swirls around Kaneohe, where Kamehameha (Hawai'i) enters the information era, meaning they've finally discovered ro…

  20. 17

    Despite their dire straits, Armenia still has a nearly full carpet! Unfortunately, it's about the size (and effectiveness) of a we…

  21. 18

    Cumae has been demilitarized, cities swap (Malmo, Messene and Hamburg, all to Sweden) and the war for Europe shifts north. Pedro…

  22. 19

    Mech artillery, which look an awful like they ought to be melee-capable spider tanks, sadly are not and can not, meaning Hafnarfjo…

  23. 20

    Forn Siðr reforms, with the theological equivalent of Goddess of Protection. Is that really a great call? I mean, who could stand…

  24. 21

    If you knew it was likely your last night on the cylinder, what would you produce? One last unit for a kamikaze charge? Wealth, t…

  25. 22

    Across the battlefield Tyumen holds up a dark mirror to Armenia's idealism. While one ageless lord accepts defeat with grace the o…

  26. 23

    34. 34 potential nukes, unguarded but for a few fighter wings and scattershot cybersubs, drift toward the tired western Australian…

  27. 24

    Hamburg goes back to Iceland, but the Swedes now hold unchallenged sway over the North Sea, while no one can claim a firm hold on…

  28. 25

    Did someone fiddle with the AI during the reboot? Suddenly everyone (Iceland excluded) is loading their carriers up for war. Sadly…

  29. 26

    Open mouth, insert foot, and kiss that tenner goodbye. Iceland conjure up yet another army from thin air while Gustavus forms a de…

  30. 27

    Panning south, Iceland has nine cities in the black. What's worse, poor Elis has been totally nuked off the map, a small crater al…

  31. 28

    Oh glorious dawn! Only the hardest-hearted Sibirian (or exhausted power ranker) could fail to smile as the flat grey horde are rep…

  32. 29

    This corner of the Indian Ocean, and the soft Trung underbelly, are safe and whole once more. Well, except for the nukes. And the…

  33. 30

    Bukhara falls again, and it shan't flip back. With one leg of its tripartite base cut out the Armenian empire sways perilously.…

  34. 31

    The Tegea offensive quickly peters out for Ingolfur and the Swedes will retake it immediately. The Viking reforms his army in the…

  35. 32

    Back in Northern Brazil, a pair of embarked biotroopers circumvent the green sea via a more traditionally blue one and look to emu…

  36. 33

    Obligatory naval stat shaming time! Iceland has built 183 naval units in this slide, of which two are melee capable. 108 are aircr…

  37. 34

    To Europe! Here, at least, things move. Another overnight miracle army spawns out of Cumae, and Tegea and Munich are once more in…

  38. 35

    The piggyback brigade closes in on Hafnarfjordur while the vikings fall back to Keflavik. No one seems even the slightest bit inte…

  39. 36

    All has been quiet on the Vietnamese-Australian front as both sides seem content with where the borders have settled in Asia. Aust…

  40. 37

    Jandamarra (Kimberly) dreams of escaping his archipelagic paradise home and sniping a final city from the soon-to-be finished Arme…

  41. 38

    Ghengis' (Mongolia) capital is kitted out for maximum production. For such a small footprint and relatively low tech level that's…

  42. 39

    The Boers have indeed decided to largely ignore Balkh and test themselves against the mountains. Kruger believes himself mightier…

  43. 40

    The ruins of Elis will lie dormant, it seems, as another nuclear-created void is papered over by the borders of newly settled Ani,…

  44. 41

    Hamburg goes yellow and Sweden's army is looking quite mäktig in the north. They'll need all those numbers, though, if they're goi…

  45. 42

    The non-natives are expelled from North America! Wandering through a forgotten drydock Eheunick stumbles across a mothballed advan…

  46. 43

    Nevermind! Iceland summon up the courage to return to to St. Louis, marching in with a sole biotrooper while a fleet of cybersubs…

  47. 44

    Speaking of capitals, case in point: Iceland leave easier pickings standing for the moment and sieze Constantinople instead. Force…

  48. 45

    The advanced destroyer strikes again! The brave biotrooper in St. Louis is no match for its raw ferocity and his so-called friends…

  49. 46

    “Say NO to repeal the ban!” “Yeah, bring us back our incense!” “No, we're trying to do the opposite. It's a triple negative, s…

  50. 47

    Another devastating flip leaves few survivors for the Boers to subjugate in Trincomalee, but does net Kruger his first slice of th…

  51. 48

    The final hours of Yerevan, and no power on earth can save Tiridates' capital now. Worse, Sibir has secured passage through Boer t…

  52. 49

    In a truly stunning development, Reykjavik falls! … Okay, close enough. And all it cost Sweden was Tegea! Tegea is legally requ…

  53. 50

    Info time! First up, the Ministries of War: Iceland and Sweden are surprisingly close now, considering their production gap an…

  54. 51

    Ministries of Health and Agriculture: Mark my words, before long that Boer 900,000,000 will drop to one. In the blink of an ocul…

  55. 52

    It really would be helpful if these numbers were linear with citizen counts, rather than logarithmic. Comparing population with pr…

  56. 53

    Ministries of Industry: The Boers have a 2:1 advantage over third place, and the Inuit are nearly there as well. Just a bit more…

  57. 54

    26 million Mongolians, 1,400 hammers. 4 million Armenians, 92 hammers. 40 million Hawai'ians, 84 hammers. Q. How many Hawai'…

  58. 55

    Ministries of War: 5.3 million troops is a tremendous achievement, but can you imagine how boring Pedro's playstyle would be? Ju…

  59. 56

    Vietnam in twelfth, but really the gap between Australia in second and their slot isn't nearly as large as one would expect. By th…

  60. 57

    Wait, so what are all those notifications for each turn if not denunciations? When did the cylinder get so...polite?

  61. 58

    Christians (and North American Christian-adjacent heretics) outnumber heathens 7:1, and Heathens 110:1. Again, let's salute Tibe…

  62. 59

    Forn Siðr has a chance to sweep Europe if they can hold off the Arians to their west and the Catholics and Lutherans focus all th…