Home  ✧   Albums  ✧   Part 88: Exercises in Futility

Part 88: Exercises in Futility

Narrated by Scissor

  1. Intro

    Hello and welcome to the 88th part of the Civilization Battle Royale! I am /u/Scissor_fingers, power ranker, modder, and very occa…

  2. Map

    Normal maps don't really show us ocean borders which are critical for troop movement so when /u/Nathanmasse helped us all out with…

  3. PR Slide

    Last part, the Inuit managed to steal the number 1 spot from the resident ranker favorite, the Boers. We rankers are clingy bunch…

  4. 1

    We start the part off with a shot of the front lines. The Boers are still starting their advance into Vietnam. They have rallied a…

  5. 2

    Ah, mighty Texas. They are probably one of the safest city states in the cylinder, only at war with Brazil who can’t reach them. A…

  6. 3

    ALERT! The Kimberley are planning to attack another civ with naval assets! Probably Sri Lanka! This news would be far more excitin…

  7. 4

    We see Wulungarra, quickly approaching Kaneohe as the most densely populated island on the cylinder, as it prepares for the war ef…

  8. 5

    Here is the Swedish-Siberian border, freshly drawn after Kekkonen was evicted from the premises, maybe he missed a rent payment? O…

  9. 6

    Down it goes! Antioch, temporary seat of the Finnish government, gets taken by a Swedish Organic Infantry. The Finnish cybersub fl…

  10. 7

    Vietnam sends a paltry cybersub fleet against the Boer menace, hoping to face the famed Boer caravel+GDR combo. A big weakness Vie…

  11. 8

    Now we zoom in on the War of the Mountains, as a Sri Lankan tank camps out in Hrazdan, hoping to catch a glimpse of the action. Th…

  12. 9

    You have got to wonder, what is Sibir building in all these cities? They’re obviously not making units otherwise, there’d be an ac…

  13. 10

    As Lacsirax Ariscal hypothesized, Hawaii’s mind control of Australia is shown through their peacekeepers. The Aussies have formed…

  14. 11

    As noted in the last part, Brazil and Australia have signed Declarations of Friendship and are seen vacationing together in Korea.…

  15. 12

    Oh this is just pathetic, all of Korean China and the Korean peninsula is completely occupied by Australian units. Someone should…

  16. 13

    Here we see Australia throwing their Garbage Patch at other nations. The dump they’ve chosen? Brazil. Seriously Brazil, the only c…

  17. 14

    Tibet, eternal turtle, for some reason has not founded their religion yet, choosing instead to yell at fellow rump, Texas. Maybe H…

  18. 15

    The men of the garrison of Tashkent were brave men. Their government abandoned them. Their eternal leader ran away from the Swedes…

  19. 16

    We finally revisit the front lines and Jericho seems to have fallen to a Boer BioTrooper. Is it just me or is the Vietnamese carpe…

  20. 117

    Najran falls to the Boers. Vietnam seems to be suffering major losses, but they finally seemed to have gotten the hint and placed…

  21. 18

    Someone should tell the Oranj Fleets that they’re at war. They seem more comfortable enjoying the tropical islands of Middelburg a…

  22. 19

    Sibir flips Carrolton, but Vietnam seems poised to take it back. This war is more trouble than it’s worth for the Trungs. What hap…

  23. 20

    Not much has changed here. The stalemate continues.

  24. 21

    The true brain of Australia is shown here. The Hawaiian border looks kinda like a chicken wing, which is something I just wrote be…

  25. 22

    Little is known about the elusive MiniPedro, the regent of the Brazilian empire, but our spies have informed us that his refusal t…

  26. 23

    Matthew Perry, Buccaneer admiral extraordinaire has been tasked with improving economic relations with the Boer. Lazily, he sends…

  27. 24

    The Boers have lost nearly half a billion people due to starvation but you’d never be able to tell because they keep pumping out u…

  28. 25

    Ingolfur pls invade Sweden while they’re rebuilding. (Actually don't because your navy is mainly carriers)

  29. 26

    Sweden makes its final push towards Yervantashat, but a pesky Armenian AA gun is in the way, forcing Sweden to make a coastal land…

  30. 27

    More progress as the Boerange Boerders now include Vung Tau. The Vietnamese appear to have constructed a defensive line around Bag…

  31. 28

    The Boer navy is nowhere to be seen as Vietnamese subs and arsenal ships ride up and down the coast unchallenged. Vietnam also see…

  32. 29

    One of the theories on Boer depopulation is based on the fact that the average Boer is not a human anymore but actually a digital…

  33. 30

    At this point one must question Vietnam more than Sibir. How the hell have you not destroyed a civ this empty and devoid of units.…

  34. 31

    Here we see that Vietnam is slowly un-puppeting these cities in their western regions. The Trungs’ experiment with decentralizatio…

  35. 32

    Genghis, as he looked on the vast hills and plains of the Steppe, sees peace. As he bends down and plucks a flower from the grass,…

  36. 33

    The Boer offensive seems to have evaporated. Jericho is wide open; come on Vietnam this is your chance!

  37. 34

    At this point in the war, it seems a given conclusion that the Boers will keep Arabia. The real question is whether they will adva…

  38. 35

    The Boers have amassed their robotic armies at the Horn of Africa, in order to have them cross the Red Sea into Arabia. The Vietna…

  39. 36

    The Trungs flip Carrollton and hopefully this time it will stay green. At Yervantashat, one of the last Finnish exclaves, Sweden s…

  40. 37

    Vietnam finally reclaims Bamda, and this time it seems to be for good. This war is just like the great Vietnamese-Australia war, a…

  41. 38

    We get a shot of Scandinavia, finally unified in royal Swedish yellow. An Icelandic XCOM watches as Sweden starts bringing these n…

  42. 39

    The Blackfoot are actually making very nice progress. They are teching up, shown by their new BioTroopers, and they are developing…

  43. 40

    Last part, Lacsirax Ariscal explained why she thought Iceland is the nicest place to live. I say it’s actually Inuit Canada/Texas.…

  44. 41

    I am seriously thinking that during the reboot, Pedro rolled a negative naval bias. Has he contracted the Garbage Patch to do coas…

  45. 42

    A Korean caravel, while swimming across the deep, encounters an Australian flotilla armed to the teeth with missiles. Maybe the cr…

  46. 43

    Sri Lanka seems to have built itself a nice carpet but unfortunately it is completely surrounded by Vietnam. I just realized, is S…

  47. 44

    Kruger is making a push on Baghdad, bombing it down to the red. Is this the last of Vietnamese Arabia? Only if the Trungs care to…

  48. 45

    You know that one shot of the Boer navy a little while ago? Where did they go? Are they gonna confront the cybersub fleet or not?…

  49. 46

    Boer reinforcements are trickling in, and Gyumri is in the red. Is it only me who finds that this mess of borders takes place righ…

  50. 47

    Sweden takes Yervantashat, officially kicking Finland out of all of Europe. Maybe it is time to refer to Finland as what was sugge…

  51. 48

    Kuchum Khan takes back Carrollton and makes moves towards Nishapur, currently quite vulnerable. They say that insanity is doing so…

  52. 49

    The Trungs gather their forces at Khost, Nyingchi, and Nagchukha. The young men and women in their armies reduced nothing but numb…

  53. 50

    I have figured out why Sibir doesn’t like to make land units. The Chinese Knights near Hameenlinna must have driven fear into the…

  54. 51

    The half dozen useful ships in Pedro’s navy make their way to Europe. Does this signal a future DoW against the Boers? Or maybe th…

  55. 52

    Looking at city populations here, it seems like Brazil has not suffered as much from the Great Famine as much as other countries w…

  56. 53

    And now we conclude our part with a shot of major cities worldwide. We begin with Seoul. Sejong decided that the best way to redev…

  57. 54

    We worried that nukes were not going to be used in Mk 2.1 but Genghis is letting his newly hired general, straight from the invasi…

  58. 55

    Parakramabahu is trying hard to catch up with his neighbors in tech, but the great scientist that he will soon unlock will only de…

  59. 56

    Stockholm focuses its citizens on food as it desperately tries to fight off the Great Famine, stealing tiles from Helsinki in the…

  60. 57

    Finally the Info Addict is upon us. The Boers (unsurprisingly) lead the world in science output, followed by Australia, due to the…

  61. 58

    Just like in real life North Korea, Korea possesses a 99% literacy rate. Also 3/4ths of Yakuts can read and write; that must inspi…

  62. 59

    Less than half of Tibetans can read, but who needs reading if you got a giant green friend that does all the smart stuff too. Wait…

  63. 60

    The Boers and Vietnam are the most cultured, but what is truly surprising is that the lowly Yakuts are even more cultured than the…

  64. 61

    Sri Lanka has almost no culture compared to the rest but when, they are cut off from the world by Vietnam, who could blame them?

  65. 62

    For living in a world plagued by war, famine, hatred, and death, the denizens of the CBR are quite happy. Maybe this is a case for…

  66. 63

    Yakutia is the least happy, not a big surprise.

  67. 64

    Welp this dream catcher like diagram is too complicated for me to describe, but surely someone in the sub will do that for me. Thi…