Part 114: Let‘s Get Silly

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Greetings, viewers from the submarine! Welcome to yet another exciting episode of the one and only Civ Battle Royale Mk. 2.1! I’m Reddit user /u/Volticore, but you may know me better in our CBR Discord Group as Algernon Charles Swinburne. In short, I’m a long time viewer who has been a die-hard fan of Henry Morgan’s Buccaneers since WAY back in Mk. 1, but this is my first time narrating! Now that my name in Discord has been changed from a Buccaneer black to a Brazilian green, let’s get started. In the meantime, here’s a piece of OC made by me mate, /u/TheBenno. Yarr.

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First up is our melon-colored map (well, mostly melon-colored) of the Cylinder made by our in-sub cartographer, Spherical Melon. It’s maddening to see Brazil take over so much of the map, but at least they’re preventing any possibility of bordergore (or Boerdergore).

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And again, here is our weekly tile-accurate map made by DerErlenkoning from the conclusion of Part 113. Gaze upon its vast blue oceans and its land masses mostly covered in different shades of green…

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Once again, our top spot on our Power Rankings is none other than the magnanimous Pedro II of Brazil. This giant green glob shows no signs of shrinking soon… However, before we get to these slides, I’m going to take a bet that Brazil doesn’t take a new victim this part. But enough talk! Let’s have at this next part of the CBR!

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And we begin once again, in the English… I mean, Irish… I mean, Icelandic Isles! Well, they won’t be Icelandic for long. While Belfast holds steadfast against the Brazilian advance, we can see cities along the frontlines feeling the pressure from Derby to Limerick. Will we see Pedro capture the Pyramids of Dublin next turn? Also, although Iceland may have had one tile on mainland Europe before, the captures of Canterbury and Nottingham may officially remove Iceland’s presence from all mainland continents.

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Welcome back to the Baltic Sea! Here, we see Brazil taking Malmo and dipping into mainland Sweden with the capture of Sigtuna, but the city looks likely to be flipped right back to the Lion of the North. With the capture of Vasteras, Sweden’s capital has begun to truly feel the pressure of the Carnival! While Gustavus has some defenses prepared for the embarked Brazilian army, it doesn’t look like he has much time left before his core will be covered in green. After all, we can also see Brazil putting pressure on Lodose and Helsinki.

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To the east, we find the clashing green and gray front of Brazil versus Sibir. In the center of this slide, we find Kouvola to be another city that falls to the Carnival. However, with a large pocket of gray troops nearby, it is likely that this city will be flipped over the next turns and reduced to almost nothing but rubble. With many Arctic cities in the yellow, we should also look out for a winner in this small battle for the Cylinder’s roof.

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Here, we see that Brazil has successfully completed the capture of the Caspian Sea by taking the cities of Merv and Rusadir! However, the presence of only a few Brazilian troops on the bottom of this slide is somewhat concerning. Kuchum may be able to take back these strategic holdings and more if he directed more of his troops southward. But, pressure on the court of Attila limits Kuchum’s movement.

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Not a single city on this slide is at maximum health. With Jalalabad going to Sibir and Phu Xhan going to Brazil, this meeting point of three Civs continues to be an absolute mess. However, a fresh new wave of Carnival attendees is pushing hard into this region, with Jalalabad and even Lhasa at risk of being taken. While Sibir is putting up some kind of fight, Vietnam’s army looks almost nonexistent. The balance of power is shifting.

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Looking at the front line between Vietnam and Brazil, the first thing that I notice is the fact that Vietnam once again has almost no troops in their land compared to the amount found in Brazil’s. What gives? Even Rangoon looks close to falling to Brazil. But, then I noticed that Vietnam’s air force is quite dense in this region, and no Brazilian cities on this slide have any air units present! Many Brazilian cities here are in the red! It seems that the Trung Sisters personally prefer the air. Or, the Sisters could be preparing to unleash more nuclear hellfire should the Brazilians go further.

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Yakanarra falls! The Brazilian naval divisions present enjoy a cool break before they finish the massive undertaking that Pedro has lead… The final city and new capital of the Boers, the Antarctic city of Looma, may very well be the final resting place of Paul Kruger and his Boer Reich.

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As a Boer naval vessel journies home, possibly for the last time, we see that Brazil has added another capital to their ranks with the capture of Jakarta! Even though Pedro has also taken My Son, it looks likely that it will be soon back under the darker green rule of Henry Parkes. With Vietnam included, this slide has three different shades of green. Will we see less of one of these colors soon?

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Here, we see that Pedro’s being pressured in the Philippines! Once again, his trouble seems to be stemming from his lack of air units in his cities here, as the Aussies and Vietnam have thrown all of Brazil’s cities here into the red. But, with XCOMs landing around the region, Pedro could likely flip them back.

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On this slide, we see that Pedro has solidified his gains into real-life China by taking the city of Nhang Hong! Additionally, we can also see XCOMs gazing at the ruins of former Gwangju while they prepare to take the Korean capital of Seoul! We see that Vietnam once again appears to lack troops in this region, creating a vacuum that will likely be taken by Brazilian XCOMs and a wave of Siberian bio-troopers. Finally, Pedro laughs at the sight of the city of Hue. Huehuehuehuehue. However…

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While the city is almost completely destroyed, we see here that Korea has taken back Kyoto from Brazil. Additionally, many cities nearby have been reduced to the red and Tokyo has been brought down to the black! Can Korea take back the land of the Rising Sun before it‘s too late?!

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Moving a bit to the north, we can once again see many Vietnam cities in the red. While Korea and Vietnam appear to be on roughly equal footing in this region, Sibir’s army in the area looks like it could be devastating if it were to drop south onto Korea’s and Vietnam’s northern lands. They’re even pressuring Otrar on this slide! However, the Brazilian XCOMs move ever closer…

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On this slide, we can see many events at once. Sibir taking two cities from the Inuit on the north of the world. Siberian bio-troopers preparing to devastate their nearby foes. Brazilian XCOMs defending their damaged enclave. But, to be honest, the most surprising thing I notice is the puppeted Inuit city of Gongju. A small Inuit village, with only a single worker present, seemingly untouched by the utter devastation of total war… for now.

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The Inuit’s current capital of Sanirajak is blockaded and in the yellow! If they can, Korea should push hard now to get as much land as possible before this war gets worse! Woah… Korea’s even using their carriers properly! Good work, Korea. By the way, watch out for that sneaky Brazilian XCOM. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another Brazilian enclave here in the north soon.

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We don’t see a change in city ownership here, but we can definitely see a power difference in this region! The Brazilian navy shown here is likely to push west from their homeland soon and spread the Carnival to the ocean surrounding Australia’s nearby Antarctic holdings.

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Welcome back to the Inuit core, as we once again remember the fact that the once proud Inuit capital of Ivvavik is still in Brazilian hands. However, we can also see that Brazil has added Ciudad Guayana to their pile of cities and created an impressive front line to the east of their new holdings. Even the former Canadian city of Windsor is being invited to the Carnival! Now, if only the Inuit had the opportunity to put all of those naval units to good use…

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Moving slightly east, we can see more Brazilians filling up the Inuit’s area of the Cylinder’s roof! Although no cities have changed hands yet in this slide, it is likely that many of these cities will turn green once any Inuit bio-troopers present are wiped out by the approaching Brazilian army. But, once again, we can see the lack of any Brazilian air units. Will this icy area be turned into ash by Inuit ICBMs?

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Moving slightly… more east, we can see Brazilian forces surrounding the Inuit holdings close to Hudson Bay and Icelandic Greenland! I have very little doubt that Pedro will be able to take these few cities that he currently surrounds. However, my question is, where to next? Will he continue to move to the north and take more land from the Inuit? Or, will he divert his troops towards Greenland?

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Phew! Welcome to a new turn. To quote Hearts of Iron IV: “Another batch of maps made obsolete.” Compared to the last time we saw this region, I don’t see any city flips. However, My Son looks slightly smaller. Strange. Other than that, some cities from all three green nations are all in the red or the black. Any light tap on the walls of many cities here may cause them to come tumbling down.

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Damn it, I hate it when I’m right! I told you to watch out for Brazilian XCOMs. Why didn’t you listen, Sejong?! Even though Sejong was able to take Wakayama, Brazilian XCOMs were able to successfully devastate the Australian army protecting Tokyo and make the city one with the growing Carnival. With this city flip, the Aussies have been kicked off of mainland Japan. Well, at least the Australian city of Gladstone stands on Ryukyu… for now. Also of note, Vietnam has claimed the charred remains of Gwangju. Nice work!

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At least I don’t see any Brazilian XCOMs here. Nice work. Once again, we can see Sejong putting those carriers to good use by bringing Ahkaiyikokakinik (Ahh-kai-yee-koh-kah-kee-neek?) to the black! Sejong also continues to put pressure on the current Inuit capital. If he can bring some of those embarked units to land, he may be able to flip it.

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Just barely, we can see the Inuit take back Tyukanskoye. However, we once again can see the amount of friendly units packed within Sibir’s land compared to Kuchum’s neighbors. Time’s a wastin’, Kuchum! You khan do this! Bring the Siberian hurt! However… The once peaceful village of Gongju will soon become just another target of this total war.

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Otrar does end up falling to Sibir as their army charges into Vietnam’s Chinese holdings. We may see Sibir take Beijing! Even though any traces of Mao’s legacy have been stripped from this ancient capital, Kuchum will surely remember him if he is able to successfully take the city. In other news, Brazilian tiles dot the front lines and we can see their XCOMs move ever closer…

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And heeeeeeeere cooooooooome the Brazilians! Despite their cities being pummelled by Vietnamese air attacks, Brazilian forces pour across the sea towards Rangoon. Some Brazilian naval units also look ready to attack the sea close to Mandalay and attempt to protect any one-tile island cities that may be nearby…

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Damn. Now, that’s a front line. Within this meat-grinder that is the Brazilian-Siberian border, we see the city of Caen being flipped to Brazil! With Brazilian Kouvola and Siberian Zibo both in the red, I am surprised to see that Atilla’s Court appears to be untouched. While this region is stagnant now, I’m worried that Sibir may run out of troops to grind before Brazil does… Have fun, you two!

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Once again, we are met with a clash of armies, this time on the former Finnish border between Sweden and Brazil! Currently, it looks as though Gustavus is holding on strong here! But, the city of Jönköping looks ripe for the taking by the advancing Brazilian forces, and embarked Brazilian units may bring the Carnival to many other Swedish and Siberian cities in the yellow here.

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Sweden takes back Sigtuna while Brazil secures Lodose in the east. The city of Vasteras may soon flip back to Sweden, but more Brazilian forces have landed on the Swedish heartland. If they are able to survive, this may devastate Sweden’s ability to fight back! In other news, Brazil now pressures Visby as Brazilian troops appear to be attempting an invasion of Swedish Norway from the Isles.

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Brazil continues to drive Iceland from the Isles as they take Limerick and almost take Dublin. They soon may be called the Brazilian Isles before this part wraps up! We even see mainland Iceland being threatened as Thingvellir takes a wee bit of damage! Iceland has also begun to fall, and the Brazilian XCOMs move ever closer...

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Here we can better see the damage done to real-life Ireland as Derry falls to a Brazilian XCOM. While Iceland has a somewhat sizeable navy close-by and carriers once again proving to be useful, Ingolfur needs to quickly place more armies on this island before Iceland ends up being the only island that he owns! The tombs that have existed here for millenia will witness this battle for control firsthand.

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(Mostly) Icelandic Greenland, in all of its icy glory. With a lack of Inuit units nearby, the city of Nattfaravik is likely to fall sometime soon. However, with the fall of the Inuit city of Hafnafjordur to Brazil, we can see that Brazilian troops have begun to make their way north to capture more of Ingolfur’s holdings. He needs to shift some of his navy westward to block this advance!

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Once the city had been pressured enough, Windsor flipped to Brazilian forces and was made one with the Carnival. While no other cities have fallen yet, Ukkusiksalik looks ready to fall as it is thrown into the red as Brazilian troops almost completely surround the city. One by one, each Inuit city is being melted by the Carnival.

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And here we have… Well, here we have a strange sight at this point in the CBR. We have peaceful waters. Surrounded by lands once owned by Mexico and Hawaii, this ocean only contains a few Australian naval units. The Pacific Garbage Patch is nowhere to be seen. It’s so peaceful… But, it can’t last.

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With the start of a new turn, things continue to take a turn for the worse for Ingolfur as Brazil secures the ancient Pyramids of Dublin! Pedro pauses his worldwide party for a brief moment to gaze upon the beauty of these tombs. But, alas, these ancient wonders are one of many that Pedro already owns. He continues to push forward as Belfast becomes close to falling. On a side note, Sibir and Korea seem to finally be getting along… NOT. This is total war, remember?

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It seems that Gustavus is now not able to hold the line against Brazil. Off screen, Brazil has taken back Sigtuna, and has pushed through the Swedish forces in the east to take the former Finnish capital of Helsinki! If Brazil were to take Vasteras, then I would not be surprised if Stockholm were to soon follow. However, it looks as though the citizens of Stockholm want to join the Carnival…

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To the east, more Brazilian forces continue to embark towards and invade the lands near Jönköping and Jyvaskyla. Additionally, the border between Sweden and Sibir has been severed by Brazil as they take Akrofuom. However, the few Siberian cities continue to stand strong… for now.

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Once again, we find ourselves on the Brazilian-Siberian meat-grinder! However, this is an unsettling sight… While no cities have flipped since the last time we saw this border, we can see that the Siberian front line is not receiving many new troops as more and more Brazilian troops storm forward, keeping Zibo in the black. This is not going to be pretty.

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Farther southeast, we can see more cracks appearing in Sibir’s front line as Atilla’s Court begins to be attacked as Brazil also takes the city of Jarlmadangah Burru and prepares to take Tus! A Siberian Great General prepares his bio-troopers for what may be the last fight of their lives. Despite these cracks, at least each Siberian city present is contained and protected by troops.

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A Brazilian city close to real-life Sri Lanka falls to Vietnam and is further devastated by total war. Navally, it appears that Vietnam has a slight edge in this region, even being able to throw a massive city like Colombo into the red! But wait, way to go, Pedro! You remembered to take a break from partying to divert air units to your Indian holdings! Get back to leading the Carnival, you party animal. And all the while, Brazilian XCOMs move ever closer…

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Offscreen, Jakarta and My Son stays under Brazilian control while they also pick up Whangarei and Orange from the Aussies! Mataram should also fall to Brazil any turn now, and many cities nearby Brazil’s holdings are at very low health. Brazil has many directions in which they can expand, and we have no idea to predict whether they will move towards Kauthara or Makassar! But, one thing is for certain. The Brazilian XCOMs move ever closer…

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Brazil’s Philippines are still battered and horribly bruised, but no one nearby has taken the leap to secure these cities. However, Brazil continues to lob XCOMs wherever they can! At least Vietnam was able to successfully recover Hoi An. But, it should not be long until the city flips right back to the Carnival. After all, the Brazilian XCOMs move ever closer...

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Brazilian units continue to fill up the east coast of China while the amount of Vietnamese troops to the west once again appear to be very limited. The Trung Sisters are still under a great risk of being absolutely steamrolled in the next few turns. In other news, Brazil has also nullified some of Korea’s gains by taking back the city of Wakayama. Finally, the Australian cities of Iloilo and Gladstone continue to burn.

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Oh my, many exciting moves have been made! Brazil taking cities such as Guangzhou, Chamdo, and Xigaze (offscreen) are exciting, Kuchum Khan has been able to capture Beijing! However, his victory will likely be spoiled by another one of Pedro’s XCOMs. I thought you were a party animal, Pedro! Don’t ruin Kuchum’s party!

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The Siberian mass of bio-troopers has finally begun to chip away at the defenses of the Korean city of Tyokhtyur! But, something is missing… The once peaceful village of Gongju has fallen victim to the horrors of war. Once a city of many owned by the Inuit, it is now a city of many owned by Kuchum Khan. Such is life on the Cylinder. (At least Sibir now has a chance to take out Ambarchik.)

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The Inuit continue to barely hold onto Tyukanskoye against Sibir’s bio-trooper horde. However, the Inuit must fact a new threat as Korea begins to tear down the defenses of Zhigansk. Hopefully, the Inuit navy in the northeastern corner will be able to somewhat slow down these invaders.

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Once again, Sejong, I tried to warn you! Thanks to initial naval pressure from Korea, Brazil has been able to secure an Inuit city in the northern Pacific Ocean. While they may not control it for long, Brazil can use these city to launch more XCOMs around the Cylinder. Even now, they continue to put pressure on Inuit cities, with many of them in the yellow on this slide.

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This pocket of Inuit forces in the North American roof of the cylinder continue to be driven back, as Brazil manages to secure Ukkusiksalik. However, at least the Inuit lands present here appear to be dense with units. If Pedro is still able to advance north from here, it seems very likely that it will be much slower than before…

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The Inuit continue to stand in the former Canadian territory, but they won’t for long, it seems. The Brazilian front line has moved north, with Sherbrooke being down to half health and the cities of St. Catherines and Sarnia being surrounded by Brazilian partygoers. In other news, the Inuit are still in Greenland! Nice work, White Walkers.

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Alright, everyone! Take a break to stretch, as here comes a new turn! Right off the bat, we see an exciting yet disappointing city flip. Ekeuhnick was able to take back his rightful capital city of Ivvavik! But… Well… As you can see, that didn’t last. But, at least Ekeuhnick could say that, for one moment, he was truly home once again.

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Going right back to Canada, we can see that Sherbrooke has indeed joined the Carnival! However, it looks as though St. Catherines and Sarnia were barely touched… However! The one-tile island city of Taloyoak is blockaded and looks ready to fall! And look at all of those embarked Brazilians! In other news, Greenland is still not completely Icelandic. Get to work on that, Ingolfur!

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However, with a better view of Greenland, it appears that Ingolfur is getting to work on that! Good thinkin’, bud. As Brazilian units continue to embark from North America, we can still see that the influence of Big CarrierTM is still alive and well to the east of Brazil’s Canadian holdings. Now that I think about it a bit more, Brazil should really bring more of a navy up here to more easily secure Greenland… Get to work on that, Pedro.

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Once again, with this new view of the Isles, we can see that another Irish city has fallen to the influence of the Carnival! This time, the city of Belfast accepts Pedro’s invitation. However, it appears that the city of Grindavik (founded by Iceland) may be next to fall. I’ll confidently bet that it will be Brazilian the next time we see it. The same bet applies to the city of York, as well. Also, woah! I almost missed that the Icelandic capital of Reykjavik is at half health! Be careful there, Ingolfur, the Carnival’s coming!

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Now, we confirm that Sigtuna has once again fallen to Brazil, and they have also captured Visby! While there isn’t a grand invasion of Norway like I expected, the large amount of units positioned in Denmark should make the Lion of the North turn tail and run in fear of the incoming Carnival. On the east side of the screen, we can barely see Stockholm holding on, but in the red. With the units nearby, the city should fall.

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Atilla’s Court and Sintra remain Siberian for now, but the city of Zibo falls to the Brazilian line. However, being in the black, the city could still be flipped back and forth. While it appears that Sibir may have some new troops again, it still looks as though Brazil is slowly getting the advantage along this border.

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With Jalalabad under Brazilian control, Brazil has once again severed a border between two Civs. This time, he has separated the fronts of Sibir and Vietnam. With Brazil sending troops north to swarm Nyingchi and south to attempt to free the Tibetan enclave of Lhasa from Vietnamese hands, these fronts may only continue to grow farther apart.

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Here we can see a better shot of the Brazilian invasion of Lhasa. Compared to previous invaders, Brazil seems to be moving quite quickly through the mountains to reach the last bastion of “Freedom” on the Cylinder. With additional pressure being applied to Hoa Lu, the Brazilian forces continue to push back the Trung Sisters. However, Vietnamese cities to the south still seem to stand strong… for now.

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Finally, Brazil has been able to advance farther towards real-life Malaysia! With two city captures, one of them being the conquering of Simhapura and the recapturing of Sri Jayawardenapura Kotte, Brazil continues to acquire more helpful footholds to use as XCOM springboards. Hell, the XCOMs are already here, attacking Amaravati! Nice work, Pedro.

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While Brazil loses the city of Whangarei to the Aussies, they trade it for the city of Mataram. However, this loss will likely result in the additional loss of the city of Orange back to Australia. But, as the city of Whangarei looks ready to fall back to Brazil, only time will tell what happens in this region.

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Well, that was unexpected! I expected Olongapo to be a shade of green different from Australia’s but not that shade of green! Olongapo falls to Vietnam, but Manila still remains under Brazilian control. Also, I almost missed that Hoi An is back under Brazilian control! Welcome back to the Carnival.

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As mentioned previously, Hoi An is once again Brazilian, thanks to another cheeky Brazilian XCOM. But, when looking at the Brazilian holdings with little health and the Vietnam holdings with full health (except for Tianjin and Vigan), one can truly see the importance of having air units. You could wipe them out so much faster if you used planes, Pedro! Well, or nukes. In other news, Iloilo falls to Brazil. Only Gladstone remains under Australian control in Japan.

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Pedro, what did I tell you?! I told you not to ruin Kuchum’s party for capturing Beijing! Jeez, what a party pooper… Brazil takes Beijing from the only remaining Khan, takes Jeonju, and appears to be ready to take much of the Korean heartland! Many Korean cities in this slide, including their capital, are hurting badly. In other news, Pedro doesn’t take the city of Hue. I don’t think he’s laughing anymore…

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Despite his best efforts, it appears as though Kuchum has been unable to advance much into Korea so far through Tyokhtyur… However, I think I see what he is planning. He may be able to sneak around the mountains to the south and capture Andong! But, who am I kidding… There’s another Brazilian XCOM! This entire game, Brazil’s best ability has just been the ability to seemingly be everywhere. As each turn passes, the Brazilian XCOMs move ever closer…

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And here, on the final slide, we see that nothing has changed since last turn in the northern Pacific. However, now that Sanirajak is in the red, this may be Korea’s time to take it! However, with Korea’s lack on units in the area, this seems unlikely… Who could take it... Oh, look! A Brazilian XCOM! Well, everyone, it’s been an absolute treat to narrate this part. Again, I’ve been following this crazy game for years, and it warms my heart that I could somehow contribute to it! But, to be honest, I’ve got a senior design report due in a few weeks, so I should probably get back to work, damn! Once again, this has been /u/Volticore (or Algernon Charles Swinburne), getting hyped for CBRX. Scotland Forever, beat the Manx! We’ll see you all next week for a brand new part of the Civ Battle Royale Mk. 2.1. Play me out, /u/Dawkinzz.

Part 114: Let‘s Get Silly – mk2

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