Part 14: First Blood

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Greetings, mates and matesses, welcome to the r/civ 60+ civ Battle Royale Mk2. Part 14! We‘ve got some very exciting stuff happening here tonight, and it is an honour for me, /u/Burgerkrieg , to be narrating this. I will also narrate it later. Don‘t know what I‘m talking about? Think I‘m having a seizure? Well, I‘m the bloke who takes the slideshows, reads them all and then puts that on YouTube so all the lazies who don‘t want to read don‘t have to. Aren‘t I a splendid guy? Anyway, I finally got to actually writing one of these, so I can make myself say anything, ANYTHING! So yeah, I may go a little mad on power occasionally, because who can control what he says, really? If you haven‘t been there yet (in which case: what is wrong with you?), go take a peek at r/civbattleroyale, where you‘ll really be at the centre of the action surrounding this Battle Royale. Fan made content of all shapes and sizes, our own brand of countryballs comics, trash talk and shameless slander, dick pics, and much, much, much more. Join this awesome community today! And now, strap in.

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Another one of those magnificent maps made by /u/SylonL , which you should very much open in full definition to catch all the details. Cities added by /u/LaxiscalAraisical and city flips by /u/thehonestyfish

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It would appear as though the Ottomans, out of spite for not being part of the game, contract their admirals out to the highest bidder, with Hayreddin Barbarossa now working for the Inuit, who are definitely the kings of the Bering Strait. It would also appear as though the Blackfoot are looking to start their own chain of shellfish restaurants, Blue Lobster, as they pull tons and tons of crabs out of the water on their small island chain.

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While the Siege of Hoa Lu is only making slow progress, Tibet launches a proper invasion of China. If they manage to grab both it and Shanghai, we might see the comeback of a nation we thought had been relegated to turtle limbo. Meanwhile, Sri Lanka is making friends with the Fins and the Burmese. Perhaps this alliance will lead to great things in the future? And over in the Americas, the White Walkers decide that it‘s time to cool down the hot-blooded Texans.

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Not that the DOW really matters, as Houston shares no borders with Ekeuhnick. Instead, he focuses on securing his hold on the cream cheese capital of the universe and exchanging notes with Sitting Bull as how one successfully survives being at war with almost all of your neighbours.

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Speaking of DOW that don‘t really matter, the Timurids have had enough of being spied on in the shower by the filthy Jewish scouts. He also very effectively counters the Scourge of God from taking his shit, which only further helps to embarrass the man. What gives, Attila? You were supposed to sweep over Siberia, burn all of it down and replace it with city names that follow absolutely no coherent logic. Instead you‘re just angrily striking at whatever is in your reach.

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Aaaaaand in today‘s instalment of “I did not see that coming”: China snipes Hoa Lu with a lone horseman right from under the Tibetans. It‘s doubtful that they‘ll hold it for long, however, as the entire region is swarming with foes. Still, well played Mao, well bloody played.

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War should be going a lot better for Vietnam in the south, where they have an impressive fleet. They are about to retake Vigan from the clutches of the Japanese, who not only have an Ottoman Admiral of their own on their payroll, but also seem to have enlisted the help of some Korean ships to make up for the fact that their fleet is nowhere near the Trung Sisters‘ In terms of size and technological development.

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Despite all involved parties sitting practically on top of each other, the war between the three -lands is limited to a few admittedly brutal skirmishes. On land, English bowmen are getting battered from afar, while their impressive fleet looks like it could actually make a good run for Derry. Mainly though, the English and the Irish are shouting at each other in overcrowded pubs, while the Icelanders look on from their table in the Irish corner. What‘s much more interesting is the small fleet of powerful galleasses the Nazis seem to have been churning out these last few turns. True to the German stereotype of preferring quality over quantity, these folks could actually do some serious damage in these waters, which are almost exclusively inhabited by Triremes.

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As David and Saladin kiss and make up (no homo), the Ayyubids defend Gondar against both Congolese and Ethiopian aggressors. There‘s a steady stream of reinforcements coming in, so this city capture might take a while. Meanwhile, Kruger has amassed enough workers around Klerksdorp to start a Marxist revolution, and a lone Zulu warrior has somehow gotten a front seat to an actual real conflict, so that he may learn how to go about this whole “war” thing and teach his people about it.

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Forget what I said about Attila, he seems to have once again found his calling as he takes Chimgi-Tura and immediately puts it to the torch. He is, however, facing a dire situation in his own back yard, where the Top Keks start their (admittedly a little poorly planned) assault on his court. Finland, who everyone thought would get eaten alive by its neighbours, now has a real shot at cutting the head off one of the scariest civilizations in this game. Next thing you know, Yakutia actually does something interesting.

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North of Hudson Bay, Blackfoot, Inuit, Sioux and Canadians alike try to etch out a living between snowy land and icy waters. This, of course, is accompanied by the constant drum fire of fierce-looking galleasses blowing away the goddamn snowman they just rebuilt for the THIRD BLOODY TIME! Jesus Christ you people!

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Vigan is back under Vietnamese rule, and it looks very unlikely that Meiji will get it back any time soon. He has, however, successfully devalued a city belonging to Asia‘s current front runner (by a narrow margin). The Korean mercenaries decide that Japan isn‘t really worth dying for after all, and go back to playing Starcraft: Brood War, because 2 isn‘t out yet in 1560 BC.

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Seeing as the Yakuts are fundamentally boring, let‘s talk about the fact that some hillbilly engineer apparently stumbled upon the technology required to propel Texas into the ree-nay-saunce. The Texans are constantly working on new ways to “send dem goddaym northerners back to dey land”, except if they‘re Sioux, in which case it‘s OK. Same goes for “goddaym Yankees”, “goddaym frenchies” and “goddaym mexicanos”.

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Benito Juarez seems to have given up completely on carving himself a slice of that sweet pecan-and-bacon pie, mainly because the pie appears to be made out of cinder blocks and he‘s cutting with the dull edge of his knife. His Army doesn‘t look as impressive as it once did either.

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With that Buccaneer fleet, it is unlikely that Argentina will be able to hold onto Paraná for too long. However, Henry Morgan will have to divert some forces to prevent those Brazilian party boats from taking Nevis off of him. Also note that the workers south of Paraná seem to have been pretty drunk when building those roads.

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In the Mediterranean, Nicomedia is still very far in the red, but appears to be recovering. I‘m not sure how long though, as Leonidas already plans tom hit him with the next DOW. The much more interesting thing happening in this shot is Rome‘s visible plunge into decadence. Seeing as they‘ve pretty much lost the BR at this point, the Romans have decided to go out in a blaze of booze, sex, and hallucinogenic substances.

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To the south, Hannibal makes peace with the Moroccans, so that he can clear a little time out of his schedule to prepare and consume a delicious liver, onion and carrot stew with big chunks of meat from the chops and white pepper, served on a bed of steamed basmati rice with a side of gammon roses garnished with parsley, some fava beans, and a glass of chianti. He does this on his terrace in Carthago Nova, from where he can see the goings on of the fight between the Kongo and Mali in Kongo Dia Nlaza.

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Not saying that Darius could just go for it and take a crack at Jerusalem now that he has his units so perfectly positioned around it, but he totally could. David is way too busy filing the latest mail into the “DOW‘s from Leonidas” filing cabinet, the accommodation of which required a recent expansion of his already impressive palace.

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With his Korean allies threatening to leave, Meiji decides to construct some additional pylons and takes the war for Vigan into his own hands. Not that it looks god for him, as the city is surrounded by bowmen and an endless stream of triremes is coming from the south.

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Now that the Ottomans started the trend, Spain also decides to send some of it‘s own personnel to do some mercenary work in the form of Alvaro de Bazán, who I totally did not have to Google. Neither the Kimberley nor the Aussies seem particularly concerned about each other when it comes to border security. I do wonder what those Maori are doing running around the Outback like that.

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Morgan successfully drives off Pedro‘s boats and sets up a massive blockade around Paraná, which now seems doomed to fall into the hands of the swashbuckling scallywags. Leonidas‘ constant temper tantrums make the news the world over, leading even Mao to decide he‘s had enough of this bullshit and gives him a stern talking to.

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Smoke on the water can be seen in the southernmost Philippine cities, from which one can see the looming carpet of Digeridoom in almost uncanny high definition. Looking at this, one cannot help but see that the Indonesians have been busy building a navy that would be considered grandiose in most other parts of the world. Similar things go for the Cham, though theirs seems a little lacking in the galleass department.

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Down in south South America, a variety of warships is giving a variety of differently coloured warships the middle finger, but not much else. Meanwhile, those additional pylons actually paid off for Japan, who have, against all odds, managed to recapture Vigan.

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In other parts of the continent, one can witness even more middle fingers. Onlooking Hawaiians are confused and wonder if the natives of this continent don‘t know how to use warships, despite having built many of them.

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Sam Houston decides that scouts will be best suited to support Sitting Bull in his war effort against the Canadians, because they literally carry big sticks. Further in the core of his Empire, Pearson has got some shiny longswordmen waiting to dirty their shiny armour with casino money when they finally arrive to take on the Sioux.

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Meiji seems to understand that the best place to preach your religion is shellfish restaurants, as he sends an army of missionaries and even a prophet over to North America. Looks like the catholic are finally going to get some competition up there.

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Here come the Turtle Ships, and not a small amount of them. Designed specifically for no-holes-barred lan-parties on the high seas, Korea will annihilate its enemies by the sheer speed of their clicks. It will take of while for them to reach any theatre of war, however, even though the sea up here doesn‘t look as clogged up as certain other parts of Asia.

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You know, TPang, it‘s actually getting pretty late for me here, and every time you show me a slide of Yakutia there‘s a good to fair chance that I‘ll fall asleep on my keyboard.

30

Jose Rizal decides he‘s had enough of war and promptly makes peace with both Japan and the Kimberley. If rumours are true, this new era of peace was celebrated with a huge karaoke party in Manila, where Rizal himself gave a great rendition of Led Zeppelin‘s “Moby Dick”. Also, expect Vigan to turn green again any moment now.

31

As St. George‘s channel fills up with the blood of dead seamen (green and red blood respectively), we come to the slow realization that this was going to be a war of attrition from the very start and we shouldn‘t be disappointed that nothing interesting has happened yet. It‘ll happen. Or not.

32

Leonidas, spitting as he shouts commands in a rabieslike battle rage, tries to besiege both Ravenna and Rome at the same time, with varying success. Meanwhile, the entire eastern half of his empire is almost entirely devoid of military personnel. If one were, for instance, Byzantium, or maybe Poland, and one were so inclined, one could possibly maybe take several cities off the Spartans as though it were a cake walk. This is your chance! Take the madman down before he becomes unstoppable!

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Vast steppes once green with fields and filled with men willing to die for their countries are now nought but smoking pyres and groups of weary soldiers fighting not for ideals, because it‘s the only thing they have ever known. I think we should all take a moment to step back and contemplate what we are actually doing. We laugh when one leader shames another, we clap when peasants who have been given weapons slaughter each other for pointless conflict, and we cheer at the genocide of hundreds of thousands because we find it entertaining. We are horrible people.

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Moving on, Kongo Dia Nlaza has been taken by Mali, hilariously putting hundreds of people to the sword. It does not look as though the Kongo has any chance at recapturing the city, though it does provide a fantastically weakened target for an opportunistic cannibal who has seen it all go down...

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While Tiridates and Saladin refriend each other on Facebook, the southern half of Africa is almost as boring as Yakutia, only here there is actually the chance that something might happen. Kruger doesn‘t seem as concerned with the Impi casually walking by his border and making conversation with his way too chill workers. Though maybe there‘s good reason for that, as the Zulu are still using bows now regarded curiosities fit for museums in most of the world.

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It seems to me like almost all of the civs who have been at war for these past few instalments are having their armies slowly reduced by the ever-grinding machine of death that is armed conflict. Meanwhile, Byzantium is fit and ready to take on the world, though it is doubtful that they‘ll be very successful at it, seeing as they would compliment a Zulu bowmaker on his craftsmanship without a hint of sarcasm.

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Looking at this slide makes me think Henry Morgan has made some big dum-dum, as Paraná is still under Argentinian control and his fleet is actually being legitimately challenged by the Brazilians. However, the city still looks doomed, as now actual land troops are helping out the situation.

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I‘ll be entirely honest here: I have no idea what the Hawaiian unique is, but it looks to me like they are probably wielding sex-toys that took the whole “little things for extra pleasure” idea a little too far. What? They are longswordmen that are more expensive than usual but require no iron and come with built in amphibious promotions? I like my sex-toy theory better, thank you very much.

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Taking a look at the beautiful and peaceful Blackfoot-Inuit border, I see a scout near a city I‘m scared to even type, let alone pronounce, with a colour scheme I do not recognize. Is he Indian? Will nuclear Gandhi make a surprise appearance in this series? Is he the John Cena of the Battle Royale?

40

Paraná flips, and the chances of Eva Peron taking it back are, let‘s be careful and say “unlikely”. Henry Morgan is still taking shit from and giving shit to Pedro, but at least Nevis is safe. Also, in case you‘re like me and missed it: the Maori declared war on the Huns a while back, because reasons, probably.

41

Greenland looks like north-western Australia, if north-western Australia was a freezing white hellhole instead of a scorching red hellhole, what with all the mining towns and everything. It also looks like Iceland has the biggest military in this particular part of the world, though they probably have little interest in cities like Sheerbrooke or Kiyaksa, seeing as they‘re just as inhospitable as what they already have. Note that Nattfaravik has a population of 11, which, in these latitudes, can probably only be achieved by extremely efficient recycling of food, and not the kind where you put plastic and everything else in different bins. Same goes for Reydarfjall, which has even gone up to 13 pop.

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Hoa Lu is being steamrolled by the Yak Pack, which are taking way longer than I would have expected to take it back. To the east, Sejong is embarking his army on a little field trip to whoever will totally voluntarily give up their lands to them.

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Just seeing the northern border of Yakutia genuinely caused me to get a tight 8 hours. If boring everyone drowsy is their strategy for victory, I think we can all go home and accept that they‘ll be the winners of this competition. In other news, a German scout is getting more and more uncomfortable as he is surrounded by Mongolian composite archers.

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Conflict has returned to Itazipcho, and the Canadians and Inuit are making a combined effort to snatch the city back from Sitting Bull, who has a strobe light installed in his office indicating if he is currently owning the place or not. This could become a problem if he ever employs an epileptic secretary.

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Buddhism slowly makes its way to Atheiststralia, making it so far as to converting Geelong. It wont be too long now until people start reincarnating on the mainland, though I do suspect one could only either incarnate into am rock or a deadly giant death spider of deadly death Down Under.

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Bethlehem is being absolutely hammered by the Persians, who are pretty far away from their homeland. Saladin decides that it is best defended by a worker, who is probably rebuilding walls as quickly as Darius‘ composite archers are tearing it down. I guess he doesn‘t have enough fuel units to buy some angry people with scary weapons to defend the city. Should‘ve gone to Tai Lopez‘ website.

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We don‘t want to give too much shit to the Ayyubids though, seeing as Napoleon has decided the best investment of his fuel units into city defence is a warrior. Somewhere else entirely, Ahmad Al-Manslaughter is making the best out of Portugal‘s bad (or stupid) situation by taking Braga off the Congolese, which would grant him absolute control over the Strait of Gibraltar. Also, with the Spartans knocking on their door, the party in Rome continues, with Caesar inserting his penis into the mouth of a dead pig. Again.

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Apparently Henry Parkes wants to open up his own shellfish restaurant chain by exploiting the fishing grounds around Easter Island, though Green Lobster will go for a more mysterious theme than the Shinto/ice road truckers themed Blue Lobster, mainly going for a “who the hell put those Moai there”-décor.

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Actual fighting is beginning to take place around Tiwanaku, with Chile still holding back most of its navy for reasons we may never understand. Still, O‘Higgins‘ galleasses make short work of Pachacuti‘s antiquated triremes.

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Miraculously, Meiji secures a proper hold on Vigan, proving once more that animal products are required if you‘re going to sustain yourself and not change colours all the time. Looking at the situation though, I wouldn‘t be surprised if the Trung Sisters ended up managing to snatch the city back from under him, proving once again that meat and dairy makes you fat and clogs up your brain.

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He‘s not even finished in Rome and Ravenna, and Leonidas is already planning to take on Casimir, who could easily steal away some unguarded cities while the Spartan army is busy crashing Caesar‘s last orgy.

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Once again, Attila is not in his best form, as the Sibir batter against the walls of Viroconium. There is some proper defence going on and reinforcements are on their way for both sides, so the battle could still go either way, but I‘m sure we‘ll see a lot of flipping in this city for the foreseeable future.

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After feeling forced to take a short nap, I return to inform you that Tygyn Darkhan has completed another wonder that suggest he has no interest in becoming any less boring in the foreseeable future. Sure, a 15% bonus when fighting in friendly territory is not bad, but how is that going to help you down in Mongolia?

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Leaving the sinking ship of china early on, Shi Lang decides to do some mercenary work of his own by siding with the English in the frankly a little stale war for the British isles. Maybe he‘ll bring some fresh wind into this conflict. Had the Potato Famine been around, I would have expected him to join the Irish, as their cuisine might be a little more attuned to his own taste.

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Braga is now officially under Moroccan control, and Ahmad Al-Mansur decides to immediately erect a statue to Maria. Its inscription: In honour of the greatest idiot this world has seen yet, we will forever be grateful to your utter incompetence. Also, it seems the Texans are beginning to find it difficult of which injuns are good and which injuns are bad, so they just denounce the Sioux like they would any other redskin. And here I was, rooting for the tomahawk-wielding hillbilly fighting side-by-side with a shotgun-toting Strong Heart, ironic as that may be.

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A Mamluk is leading the charge on the Ethiopian city of Harar, which is breaking fast. I don‘t know how many cities these two civs have, but this conquest may very well be the tipping point that triggers Selassie‘s UA against Saladin, making all of his units considerably stronger.

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A look at Sri Lanka, which fields a nice army and a slightly outdated navy. This civ could still be a bit of a wild card when it comes to turning the tide somewhere. Also, it seems TPang would like me to draw attention to the fact that the Mughals, the civ you had forgotten about, is also in this game, doing nothing particularly gripping or extraordinary. Somewhere else, the wild horse lords of Siberia and the disciplined Shaolin monks shake hands and declare the beginning of a new era of collaboration. Good on them.

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Turns out Saladin does in fact have enough fuel units to bankroll a city defence or two, though by far not as much as our resident King of the Carnival, who seems to spend most of his time bouncing coins off of the voluptuous rears of his entourage of beautiful Brazilian ladies. 57: On the other end of the spectrum, the Maori, The Philippines and (somewhat racist-ironically) the Jews should take a look at some TedX talks about Warren Buffet. The fact that Caesar has filled up his jacuzzi with Johnnie Walker Blue label is making itself known in his treasure, but what the hell, you only die once, right?

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On the other end of the spectrum, the Maori, The Philippines and (somewhat racist-ironically) the Jews should take a look at some TedX talks about Warren Buffet. The fact that Caesar has filled up his jacuzzi with Johnnie Walker Blue label is making itself known in his treasure, but what the hell, you only die once, right?

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I feel like this is the exact same shot of Hawaii as a few slides ago. Absolutely nothing has changed, except for the fact that Orange Lobster, the restaurant chain that sells shellfish with the pearls still in it, is in the media for being a fraud, as it turns out oysters, clams and cockles aren‘t crustaceans at all, but in fact molluscs.

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Looks like Yakutia is starting to make friends and enemies, taking offence at Casimir for calling them boring. Persia supports them in this cause, claiming Casimir called them smelly once.

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A look at all of the reformation beliefs, in which we can see that Shinto definitely has the most useful one. Islam is seeking to eradicate the infidels‘ beliefs more efficiently in the name of the Party Pope, and the Catholics are apparently very much interested in some extra soldiers. Also, it seems as though the Jews, in addition to lifting that ridiculous ban of delicious lobsters, is highly interested in getting their hands on some great people.

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Bethlehem becomes Persian, and Darius has the army to back it up. This is some impressive stuff he pulled right there, making a conquest like away from his homeland and laying down the law. We‘ll see if this acquisition lasts. Also happening: Genghis finds that Attila has become a nuisance and must be dangled from his feet off the walls of his court.

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Some minor fighting is going on between Sweden and Poland in the Baltic Sea, though none of it too interesting. It‘s just one of those wars where nobody really pays attention and where nothing really changes except some pleb families having their livelihoods destroyed, and frankly, who cares about that, right?

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In another interesting move, hillbilly land decides it wants to walk the path with “good, ‘murican folk”. Sitting Bull is a little pissed at this most recent betrayal, but he‘ll manage. After all, he‘s always been alone in this world anyway, and nobody really knows his pain.

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This shot illustrates that, If the Boers decided to swallow the Zulus whole, they probably could. Even though they haven‘t done anything extraordinary yet, we must not forget that we are dealing with a passive giant here, and, other than bloody Yakutia, they actually strike out from time to time.

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FIRST BLOOD! Leonidas captures Rome and finds Caesar in his palace, which is in ruins from the sheer explosiveness of the final orgy of decadence. Bursting into the pa;ace Leonidas cuts off Caesar‘s head and has it taxidermied and placed in the first of 60 alcoves in his “Gallery of Leaders I have killed”, located right above “Banners of Capitals I Control”, which has three pieces in it now, namely Constantinople, Rome and of course Sparta itself.

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Shi Lang‘s good friend Zheng He, who was the one to first convince him to leave China, has apparently signed up with the Spartans in order to help Leonidas complete his head gallery. Varna is not in optimal shape, but it seems the attacks on it have died down completely, giving it some time to recover.

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The last loyalists of Caesar, a legion and a Ballista, both in good condition, have fled Spartan lands with amazing speed and establish themselves in and around an old Citadel between Tigranocerta and Constantinople. Determined and angry, they do not believe the rumours of how their great leader died and have sworn to take over the world for him. We‘ll see how that goes. In other news, Armenia and Persia join forces to fight the Scourge of god.

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The non-war between Arabia and the Congo ends, and the fight for Harar continues in Africa. Are there any other Battlestar Galactica fans up in this who smirk every time they see the Ethiopian city of Adama? TPang‘s note: Hell yes.

71

The British Isles War continues to be uneventful but still somewhat interesting, as an attack on Nottingham seems to have been stopped. The Nazi 1337Fleet hasn‘t suffered a single loss in whatever it‘s doing right now, and generally, I can‘t help but be impressed with how secure and technologically advanced Germany looks right now. It would appear as though, when it comes to defending his country, Hitler did nothing wrong.

72

With Vigan once again becoming ripe for capture, it‘s good that the Trung Sisters have opted for peace with Israel. Maybe now they can take all of the resources they wasted on that war and use it to mount a proper defence of Vigan this time around. Same goes for the war with the Kimberley.

73

As Leonidas returns home with his troops, leaving only a token force behind to defend his new war trophy, Maria sees her chance for a smash-and-grab with some navy and archers around Funchal. Assisting her in this are the Ethiopians, though I doubt they‘ll do anything more than provide some moral support. The Spartan leader is already rubbing his hands for some new additions to the gallery, though he has other plans right now. He orders his artisans to finish the plaque for “Sultan Harun al-Rashid, Weaponizer of Lawsuits” a little more quickly, as he can already see that particular alcove occupied.

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And now for the part nobody actually cares about: statistics. Turns out nice people make out the largest chunk of the worlds population.

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Turns out soldiers aren‘t people, as Rome has absolutely no inhabitants left. Interesting to see down here: Attila, who will need to get some hanky-panky going if he wants to continue being an efficient warmonger.

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The absolute kings of worthless real estate, the White Walkers look to establish an empire upon which the sun never sets, followed by Australia, the Boers and Yakutia.

77

No real surprises down here: Rome with nothing, Byzantium, Germany, the Maya, all‘s pretty much in order.

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When it comes to cities, the Inuit are also on top of the game, with a whopping 29, closely followed by the Boers and Australians, who seem to be home in pretty much all of the Top 3s. The Buccaneers make for a nice addition to the top 10, coming in eve before the Yakuts.

79

Again, pretty much what you‘d expect, with Attila going downhill fast.

80

I refuse to believe that scientists are boring, but it is as though Yakutia was desperately trying to prove me wrong. The Australian civs are also pretty advanced, and Korea really is shooting through the ranks now, as their AU is really starting to kick in. We may see them becoming a very dangerous foe yet.

81

Down at the bottom, we see the usual losers along with some empires we really don‘t want to see this far behind on the tech tree, like Carthage and Ireland.

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Here‘s a kicker: Brazil is in the second spot when it comes to military manpower, but is really ineffective at doing war. If they put those soldiers to good use, they could probably establish themselves as master of South America.

83

Despite it‘s daring capture of Bethlehem, Persia seems a little low on soldiers, and Rome is the first civ to dip below the Babylon limit. That‘s all from me, and I have to say it was a great honour to get to narrate the first actual edition in which somebody actually got annihilated. That‘s better than any number of Lamborghinis in my Lamborghini account. If you want to keep up to date with the Battle Royale but don‘t want the hassle of reading through every slideshow, I highly recommend you subscribe to my YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC72cc_8atEmmO0l2BwBs9nA/videos ), where I narrate all of these about a day after they come out for everyone, so you can see them pop up on your subscription feed and add them to the “watch later” playlist, because let‘s be real for a moment here: you don‘t actually ever look at that playlist. I run the channel with my mate Kharaz, who is an actual real amateur pro-gamer and has been to tournaments, and we‘ll be putting out some more different content soon. Until then, special thanks to based TPangolin, so long, and thanks for all the fish. Burgerkrieg out.

Part 14: First Blood – mk2

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