Part 16: The Grudges Start Here

1

Hellooo Fellow Armchair Generals and other bloodthirsty fans who love the sight of dead empires and razed cities, and of course the glory of seeing all but one of the 61 civilizations fight each other for supremacy on the most beautiful of all planets, Earth! (Now slowly becoming more toxic as the world fills with smoke from past Hunnic city razings). I am /u/Professor-Reddit and igraciously accept the offer from our glorious founding father and megaoverlord /u/TPangolin to narrate this episode! As always, it would be awesome for anybody who hasn‘t already to subscribe to /r/Civbattleroyale so that we can all collectively enjoy the great maps, Polandball comics, more maps, statistic porn and other forms of awesomeness that floods the subreddit each day! LET THE GAMES BEGIN! (or continue as we left off).

2

Another iteration of the animated gif map by /u/kittke based off of the amazing cartographic skills of /u/SylonL!

3

Our brave Babylon recruit Em who is secretly working deep in the underground rooms of the Kremlin has found out that a drunk Stalin after having 6 bottles of Vodka ordered his troops to go on vacation in South-East Asia. To do this he has planned a botched invasion in which thousands of drunk Vodka ridden Soviet soldiers will build an enormous tunnel leading to Rangoon and invade the empire from there! He executed all generals who said that it would be impossible. Unfortunately these generals had a distaste for Vodka and now Stalin has pretty incompetant officers in their place. While this drama unfolds, Burma still hasn‘t done anything against Vietnam other than being target practice for volunteers defending the walls of Vijaya. In fact I wonder if the Trung Sisters even still remember that they at war with them in the first place. This war is irrelevant just like Burma. I spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘S‘. If you guessed Spearman you are correct, there is one just by the capital. Wow... NEXT!

4

It seems that with the brilliant and cunning help of Fyodar Ushakov the Carthagians should easily be able to clear out Antium without loosing a single ship! Because that was actually true. Fyodar was Russia‘s most illustrious Naval Commander and he never ever lost a ship under his command nor a battle. Thank you Wikipedia. Assuming this, Sparta stands no chance... Which would be true if Sparta was accidentally Ashanti. Nevertheless Antium is on the verge of been taken while reinforcements arrive on land and Ayyuuuuuuuuuuubid Scouts set up camps on the Italian peninsular dreaming of potentially becoming that Polish Scout but realising that to do so you need to camp on a choke point, Silly Saladin... Of note: ”Maria! We have a great opportunity to take Rome before reinforcements arrive! Should be dispatch a large fleet to take it? We can do a Bilma here!” “Meh, let‘s just party at Funchal and wait while the Carthagians loose some triremes and units.” Either Lazy Portugal yet again or a potentially Wise Portugal. Your pick!

5

England has a made Peace with Ireland! Big news! Now Elizabeth will have to complement being just purely England and not (most of) Wales and Cornwell too! Big victory for Ireland too, they didn‘t do much on the northern front and they lost plenty of units but taking Nottingham enables a great edge on England and further squizes that little turtle back into his shell. And now she will have to deal with a channel owned by France, herself and Ireland and the sea route through to Hastings means passing through one tile owned by Ireland unless you go overland a bit. Also, York is almost empty of units defending. Come on Napoleon... And while this happens, Hitler can go blitzkrieg through Northern France, take back his beloved Cologne and sweep through France in 3 weeks thus help in easing the Lebensraum crisis because seriously... It‘s getting really crowded now. Meanwhile on the other side of the planet, Japan and Mongolia declare their love for eachother. But this is Battle Royale so this doesn‘t mean much unless they plan to work together in overthrowing their Babylonian watchers.

6

In revenge for loosing past wars to the Ayyyyyy‘s Ethiopa has taken revenge by building 3 citadels all the way up to Baalbek and Aswan. Whether or not this was here before i don‘t know but at least Haile‘s (Ethiopia) anger is somewhat dealt with one citadel at a time. Interesting to note that Arabia has open borders with Israel. King David (Israel) must always be cautious, least a long awaited and ridiculously easy invasion occurs which won‘t last long. I had faith in Israel at first, but he should stop doing god know‘s what and build UNITS!!!

7

Buccaneer triremes hold off against Mayan ships but something else mysteriously looms. Polynesian warriors are marching in great numbers throughout Latin America, or more importantly the Mayans. If the Bucs or Texas continue fighting (haha not really likely right now) the Polynesians might shield them. Either that or they are plotting... Commiserating. Silently discussing future plans in utmost secret. Or it could just be that they like the vacation sites there god damnit! Why are we always so suspicious about these completely explainable events! I mean come on! Haven‘t we all seen other countries send their soldiers to other sovereign nations fully armed, fully primed and constantly on alert and setting up camps and emplacements across the countryside?! Anyone?!

08

Jandamarra (Kimberley) decided to prove to Henry Parkes (Australia) just how cool he was at DOW‘ing people and asserting military superiority. Problem is is that he mistook the Indonesians for Timurids. Henry Parkes was quick to take note and reportedly laughed so loud in his nice Lodge™ that people as far away as Darwin heard him. Needless to say Jandamarra was upset and felt bullied. A little peak at Australia‘s Grand Wobbegong Armada as well. It also seems that it is indeed stopping the boats as intended! Although not even the most advanced Babylonian satellites have determined exactly what is happening to those caught up by the armada. It all seems to be ‘Operational on-water matters‘ according to a former minister for women and ‘captain caller‘ who shall not be named.

09

The city of Bundaberg in all it‘s glory! The settlers have always been quite intrigued by the Maoi rocks that would have belong to Polynesia but who have never actually visited the island! Plus the island should rightfully and realistically belong to Chile but those guys still don‘t have caravels! It has always been of massive debate in Asutralia about this. Talks of ‘a force unknown to man must be behind this‘ ‘I think it must be one of those weird looking mysterious ocean going babylonians!‘ and “Maybe it was a message sent by a mysterious super-god with untold powers who is watching us and setting up events and gatherings to watch down upon us and who hangs out on those weird looking black Babylonian ships every Sunday and Wednesday!” this last one angered many Australians citing the 100% atheist population, as a result the man who made this hypothesis was ‘punished‘ by being thrown into a giant tub of vegemite, it should be noted that many people do not consider this ‘punishment at all‘. The United States and Blackfoot are also now friends. Babylonians are angered by these movements of pacifism and want more violence.

10

Another incite into the dark continent. I can see why Babylonians always say ‘hmpf‘ and walk away. Nothing much happening other than some of those Polynesians moving further south wanting to experience the jungles of Cambodia infamous for their rum running hideouts by Buccaneers hiding from Brazilians and Incan patrols.

11

And boom! There goes the Second War of Really Tight Mountain Passes! The Timid Timurids already have the upper hand but this is a 1 tile passage. All Armenia needs to do is pull a ‘300‘ with ranged units behind and just fight. This might result into a lawsuit between Sparta and Armenia but Tridates just needs to worry a little more about his fleet in the Caspian more I think. Not having control of it would enable Amphibious landings by the Timurids which could be disastrous if left unchecked and if enough units land.

12

ScoutCon 1360 is going well. However attendance does feel a little less as Finish and Mongolian scouts leave citing boredness and yet again Israeli hosting. It should also be noted that the once unbeatable Yakutian carpet is also thinning out.

13

And boom second DOW! But let‘s hope that Mirwais Hotak is more prepared. If he learnt his lesson last time then Afghanistan will certainly become the graveyard of the Timurid empire or at least just a city or 2. I‘m loving these actually relevant wars! Aren‘t you guys?

14

Ferdinand Magellan is now looking at helping out the Icelandish a bit now! He will personally lead an Icelandic expedition to the Orient in search of a western trade route for Iceland to follow. Whether the mutinies start to get boring and repetitive and whether he will die in the Philippines in a battle depends of course. Iceland is also adopting a strategy I normally do when defending strategically (or not) placed civs, defend the only ways to get to your empire and have spare reservists stationed a fair distance from eachother in the remote unclaimed/semi-safe areas. And have big navies. I feel like the AI is evolving. Unfortunately the year 1360BCE is not when Terminator is released :(

15

Aha! Here is what we have been waiting for! Texan troops have regrouped and are charging at Mexico city! Austin angered so many people Mexico is dead meat! If Texas can surround the city with shear strength and attack with shear force, then Mexico will certainly have some nice painful and agonising peace terms the like of Versailles. Rest assured, poor old Sam Houston now has a capital to rebuild... completely. 2 pop is 6,000 people. 26 pop (what they started off with) is about 9.5 million... HOLY SHI-! What the fuck happened?! Did the Reapers from Mass Effect 3 arrive briefly and just casually commit a galactic genocide (and left coinciding with the Mexicans?!) So many conspiracies!

16

Ouchie ouch Ashanti ain‘t having a nice day today at all! Kongo just took Atebubu, with two cities left Tutu is fucked. But I can‘t stop noticing Kumasi. Did the Kongo go in, attack and just leave? According to the latest war map Morocco is just at war with Ashanti and Kongo. Malian horseman and a Boer scout blocks the road to Kumasi and Kongo has naval superiority so either tutu saw a quick attack on Kumasi with superior force before the Malians closed in (unlikely) or Kongo just saw a nice west African colony to take was available. Either way Morocco‘s prize of war from the Kongo is slowly shifting from his grasp so it was good while it lasted.

17

Enlightened Brazilians from across the empire all celebrate a new era in world history! Perhaps this era will turn the dark continent into a great centre of culture, art and science! But in the meantime, a large convoy of Argentine soldiers march northwards seemingly to inflict some revenge on the Bucs. Henry Morgan will have a delightful day ahead in more well paying fight scenes for future movie directors.

18

Brazil takes back! But will it last? Or more importantly, will they even capture Cartagena? Again more fight scenes for Henry Morgan! Brazil loves those beautiful stalemates so much! Even if Pedro succeeds, it won‘t last long. Buccaneer reinforcements are all around Port Royal the capital so it won‘t last long at all.

19

Whoah wait a minute? Sparta retook Antium? Looking back I guess Admiral Feyodar Ushakov was a genius! So much so that he must of taken the city without the Babylonians noticing! Damnit TPang! I feel like a detective doing detective work on finding out what did Sparta do with the Byzantines, where did they go?! I just narrate things here based on your screenshots! THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW OF ABOUT THESE GLORIOUS EVENTS!!! I blame the satellites.

20

IN BREAKING NEWS! AFTER A LONG TIME OF SEVERAL DECADES SINCE LAST STUPID WAR, YAKUTIA HAS DECLARED WAR ON... The Timurids? ... Sigh. When will an actual war occur :(

21

The Last Legion! Starring a real genuine Roman Legion mixed with a pair of Balistas hiding from Spartan dominince in Anatolia! Unsurprisingly, inspired Babylons have watched it making the movie a major box office success on board the submarines! I just find this so sad however. And what will happen if the open borders isn‘t renewed? Seriously though, these soldiers must be really loyal to the empire! Especially after Ceasar‘s massive orgy death at the hands of Leonidas I himself and the fall of the empire. We need constant updates from our satellites about the movements of these brave fighters! What will happen I dare ask?

22

Tridates ain‘t doing well out in the Caspian sea which is very bad news indeed but Armenian troops line the coast watching out. Meanwhile Timid Timurid pikemen are at the gates to Bukhara so watch out! Also I thought Yakutia just signed peace with the Timurids and wrote a full blown 300 word satire report below about it before realising that it was the sword animation (signalling war) fading out periodically. I‘M TRYING TOO HARD TO NARRATE THIS!!! I DEMAND A FORMAL WAGE INCREASE FROM- ‘This message was deleted by the PraiseTpangAssociationForGivingUsThisAwesomeSeries for revealing private information and blasphemy. Please carry on.‘

23

And just like Leningrad and that battle that people are starting to forget, the Sioux resettle their old city of Itazipcho again. Meanwhile Henry Morgan invited Eva Peron over to Port Royal and despite her defiance to being offered Rum to drink she eventually conceded and after more drinking and dating she eventually drunkenly signed a peace treaty. Ever since that day she will forever protest and strenously deny she ever made a deal with a pirate or have a friendly conversation with him. But of course Pirates never forget. They know the truth she doesn‘t want other people to hear that she commited a humiliating ‘sin‘ in Argentina.

24

Texas has made peace with the Inuit. There might have been a chance that the Inuit go through Blackfoot territory to fight Texas but it didn‘t happen. Also these wars must mean Sam Houston is considered a warmonger which is stupid. Sam was invaded by the US and Mexico and took Baltimore. Another war with Canada gave them a free Philidelphia and now a free Puebla. These guys face against all odds but they still loose their capitals in a double city flip! Also I think Lincoln is secretly supporting Texas in helping him win the BR with both of these cities eventually finding their way to Houston‘s doorsteps. More conspiracies! Texan forces are having a massive difficulty taking the city, many units are massively damaged and that army which was seemingly going to take Mexico City just left and headed back to Houston. What?! Talk about retribution! “Hey guys let‘s go take our revenge on Mexico for committing genocide against Austin and allying themselves with a massive, ancient galactic synthetic race of machines and murdering 9.5 million people! In the midst of fighting!” And then 2 turns later give up... Come on Sam Houston! I believe in you! WE ALL DO!!!

25

The Grand Wobbegong Armada has taken Quezon! This opens up attack to mainland Phillipines and Butuan! Taking Butuan would open the front lines even more for the Aussies and will really tear them up. While there is a big threat of overextension by the Aussies there are still plenty of reserves at Pangasinan forcing their way up the coast to Quezon. No matter what happens, Pangasinan is definitly staying Australian for a looong time. Sorry Rizal but you better sign peace now. Or else Australia is going to snowball dramatically. And with these ridiculously OP ships now I mean SNOWBALL HARD!!!! Woo! Hey... Is it ok as narrator for being a little bias (or a lot?) I do have the power to effectively change public opinion to suit my evil sinister needs for our glorious nation, so... maybe?

26

Whoah ok! Lazy Portugal maybe no more? Sneaky Maria sniping the prize! Might not last long but it shows the war spirit that is Maria and her stupid political decisions that contribute an enormous amount to Babylonian comedy and media. It should be noted however that Carthage has been booted out by Portugal as a result so Sparta will have to deal with this himself. Also just noticed that Spartan city at the base of Italy near Antium. Hmm Sparta is Spartanizing the Former Roman Empire just like what Rome did to all of it‘s provinces. Oh the irony!

27

A very detailed account from Recruit Em‘s about Stalin‘s plans for Socialism In One Country and how it is going! Almost a secret plot every 2 turns! Man, Em really is good! Either that or Stalin is onto us and is feeding us lies. Godamnit Stalin! Stop using your NKVD against us and instead focus on those damn Huns when sending them to the artic Gulag camps! Whatever he is doing (drinking more vodka it seems) I am stunned by just how many plots he has in storage now! The Kremlin must be full of these ‘top secret‘ documents of Stalin‘s plans hidden underneath in those secret tunnels and rooms! Fascinating.

28

Phillipine forces in a surprising twist recapture Quezon and slightly push back the Australians. But not for long. While we might need to say goodbye to that poor Caravel slight northwards the Aussies have an enormous backlog of ships tying back all the way to modern day Port Moresby! You know when bad things are gonna happen when a fleet extending several (IRL) thousand kilometres all densely packed is heading your way. Also note the Aussie settlers in the bottom left. I think it is pretty clear now of Henry Parkes‘ plans. Also Kimberley‘s are just standing back and watching. Do something Jandamarra! Quick! Capitalise on this war!

29

A nice look at the frozen people up north. A relatively strong expansive empire with surprisingly good core cities (for these frozen lands) and a strong navy can only mean good things for these people. Although I can‘t stop noting those ships in the Arctic, I think the Inuit think we are hiding far up north and are hunting for our Sub! Haha good luck Inuits! I think Chile is a lot closer to us but do keep looking! And please don‘t kill those poor seals as you hunt for us :( I like Seals... And war. Lots of war. Oh wait sorry! TPang specially highlighted a new city on the screen. My mistake! Oh yes, and uh... Yeah a new city guys in Inuit lands! Pretty cool uh? I know! Very impressive 2 food and a river?! Fascinating. TPang‘s note: I was mainly pointing that city out because it‘s evident that the Inuit have settled SO many cities that they‘ve burnt through their entire city list.

30

A very nice detailed image of Australia and the Kimberley along the border that will make the power rankers happy. The Kimberley also fittingly hire a Portuguese Navigator by the name of Henry to guide them in their age of discovery. Needless to say Maria is not pleased... Notable lack of land units on the interior. Seems like the fear of the wildlife and living conditions is preventing all out war, well there you go! Also with the Indonesian Galleases and triremes carpet, Kimberley might have a more immediate threat in his way. Regardless, taking down Indonesia will make his position far more formidable in diplomacy. Don‘t underestimate, trireme and galleas carpets can be scary especially at your back door. Luckily Kimberley does have a fairly formidable navy.

31

In the far reach of the south pacific Australian settlers set sail seeking a new life in the hopes of aiding in the growth and eventual snowball that is Australia. As a nation that slowly encroaches eastward towards the dark continent, settling cities along the way and building warships at breakneck speeds, one must wonder who in South America can catch up to this naval giant and carve a city in a part of the South Pacific for themselves. “Rule, Australia! Rule the waves! Aussies never will be slaves.” Elizabeth was considering a lawsuit because of this but promised that she will wait until she gets Ship of the lines which might take a little while for her. Oh and yeah, Quezon is ours again. Flipping won‘t last long... trust me, I think. We all remember Bilma don‘t we all.

32

Peace has been achieved! While Mexico was probably not going to turn the tables just yet if not at all Texas despite gaining Puebla will have to recover for a long time. Their army didn‘t take the greatest beating, but loosing your capital is a humiliation and sign of weakness. The 9.5 million people will be remembered for centuries to come but the pain will still live on for sure. Austin might not ever fully recover to it‘s former glory as being the baby capital of the world and for being one of the main reasons how Texas had such a massive pop. Mexico hit Texas where it hurt most.

33

Hmmm not many carpet units in northern Indonesia, maybe Gajah Mada knows who‘s the real threat. The city of Geelong is also relatively undefended and easy pickings and the frigate over there is taking a beating but the fact that it is completely undamaged is saying a lot. Rizal did a good job initially holding off the Champans, Aussies, Japanese, Hawaians and Kimberley at roughly the same time but still loosing cities but now it is critical. He has lost or lost at one point numerous cities (even his core cities) even having a couple Champan ships shoot at Manila a little bit and this weakness is deepening himself more and more and more into a big sad hole. I know he can pull himself out but only if he survives this first. Oh hey! And if you follow that cursor in the bottom left you get to see those nice delicious fishes the Kimberley regularly fetch! Apparently the Babylons have yet to discover sailing... What about Nuclear Fission, Telecommunications, Atomic Theory and Electronics, researched that Nebuchadnezzar II? Was this sub you have, secretly stolen from IRL and then time travelled back to 4000 BCE in another dimension? Even more Conspiracies! We need a sub for this now I think, /r/Civbattleroyaleconspiracy so much to discuss about! I must see if this exists!

34

While on shore leave in Hawaii in two different cities, A yakut Caravel and an Australian caravel meet. The captains agree to meet ashore and share luxuries at Hilo and try to avoid the huddled masses of many millions of polynesians on just a small island there. The Yakuts enjoyed hearing the stories of the wildlife and the joys of colonising islands rightfully belonging to Polynesia and the Aussies were intrigued by the doctrine of the Yakut people of declaring stupid wars of no importance and in the meantime hunt for bears in the Far East with their cool new boomsticks. Meanwhile the crews of the ships show eachothers weapons and even fire a few of them angering locals since they don‘t have caravels. After the 3 day hangabout the Australians had to leave and resume their mission not before telling the Yakutians of the city of Bunderberg and it‘s nearby mysteries. The Yakutian captain is skeptical but curious if true and vows to see it for himself and also leaves port destined for this ‘island‘.

35

Oh hello little children, I see you and Poland still have a couple spearman running about AND WARRIORS?!? Not good children. Upgrade them at once and then you may resume your little game of war. But speaking of Hitler, he is one littler persistent littler bugger. Loosing one city was an inconveneince to him. His Kriegsmarine isn‘t big but at least it has galleases (which most civs already have now but oh well) and at least he didn‘t do anymuch majorly stupid. He just needs to move up quickly! And fast. This is the Renaissance. Failing now is failing this game. Take advantage of other‘s sufferings and wars and move in and blitzkrieg fast. Beside Lebensraum needs to be fixed up right?

36

A nice kinda beautiful shot of the remains of England in actual England. Just 2 little stale cities reap for taking! Also note the brand new Pretty well placed Citadel in Wales? That is just one of many more cruel territorial annexations that will continue until somebody falls. A sad but true reality Elizabeth. I think you should just call in Winston Churchill in from the future and help embolden the British cause. No wait... Just English now of course.

37

The Trung Sisters have entered the Renaissance! And with that a new era of feeding back Mao cities and reminding Tibet who the real empire is, begins! Vietnam is also the intersection of 3 different religion; Shinto, Buddhism, Akkatt-U and the I-don‘t-know people. So don‘t be surprised if Japan, Burma (not right now) and Tibet start warring with eachother with great prophets and missionaries all happening in Vietnam.

38

Well,Paul Kruger just reminded himself that he had a declare war button on the leader screen and was curious and pressed it. This one has only supply line for Kruger and this could break him if Saladin is smart. One a single tile connects the core of the Boer empire to Klerksdorp which will be really really annoying for Paul Kruger. It can be widened by one if the Kongo offer open borders but until then the Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyubids just need to be smart. Saladin has a big army at Dire Dawa so if there is actual fighting it will be interesting.

39

Aha! Another face shows up! Mansa Musa pulls the diplomatic middle finger but forgot he had two really annoying cities bordering Saladin. Good job Mali! Saladin of course graciously accepts this double free city offer. Meanwhile Kongo forces advance onto Denkyira with defiant Ashanti rallying behind the city and Mali does stuff, as in not pushing the front line much further at all for reasons. Stalin has also entered the Renaissance too.

40

Sibir has graciously accepted the free city of Zaranj by taking it by pure military force while Atilla‘s horse archers look on. The Huns have also died down in fighting now as well. Atilla is busy sleeping despite the cries of war.

41

It seems like Afghan forces are marching around the mountains of Lahor under fire to take the city! This could fit in for a movie very niceley indeed.

42

The Grand Wobbegong Armada regroups and holds off Rizal while Quezon is under fire on the ground. Which is troubling. The Trung Sisters have gotten so tired of Rizal and his wars that they join in on the gangbang moving their navy on to the border ready for war. This is an absolute disaster for the Phillipines. This would mean that Manila is now under threat! If successful Vietnam will defintely have a field day on the power rankings.

43

Nothing to see here. Just some crossbows and Brazilians. And a mexican tireme in the Atlantic who must of crossing Nassau or went around the cape. Boring! NEXT!

44

Aha! Begun the Aluetian Islands Campaign! The Japanese fleet is sailing for Sikutsipmaik with no Blackfoot in sight to oppose. Looks like the Inuit will do all the hard work for their ‘friend‘. Oh and England denounced Ireland, anybody suprised? Anyone?

45

Kamehamhahahaha has taken advantage of the Australians and Yakutians and their cool stuff to enter the Renaissance! Sneaky bugger! Oh well, those privateers do send an eery message of whose the boss in these oceans.

46

In a shocking twist Hitler kissed and made up with King David. Seens like David‘s plan on converting Hitler will massively change the course of politics in the Clusterduck that is Europe. At least the greatest war in known history in terms of amount of verbal assaults thrown at eachother has ended at last. Also Atilla made peace with Finland. Now Finland can finally focus on finishing up Finifest Destiny on and unsuspecting Stalin.

47

Still a massive battle at Antium raging on through the fading lights of darkness. A single dead Portugese tireme stands at the cities of Rome shouting insults before about to be sunken. Maria‘s great strategy is certainly paying off.

48

The daring assault on Busan is mediocre at best. Vietnam has sent a large task force north to suppress their loud northerly neighbor Chairman Meow and the embarked units at Busan, like the Portugese tireme won‘t stand long against the onslaught.

49

Sikutsipmaik is just about to fall to Meiji thus opening up the front lines a bit. Inuit forces are busy chilling in Alaska, oblious to the Japanese to the south. At least it isn‘t them falling first, they hated those cities being there anyway.

50

Atilla has also signed another important peace treaty with the Maori‘s because Atilla just couldn‘t handle it at all. Also interesting placement of naval units Australia. this could get interesting real fast. Snowballing just yet?

51

Australians settle further east angering the Maori‘s with bitter resentment. Man these one tile islands are such great contributions to any empire the size of glorious Australia.

52

A little look at the Falkland islands, Eva Peron has always hated Chile for doing this, same as Elizabeth. Why so angry guys? It‘s just a small really cool island with cool wildlife! Also that Chilean star is kinda annoying as it sorta looks like a capital city icon.

53

WOW! Lahor looks sure to be taken very soon. Just move that trebuchet ouch and knight in quickly!!! Probably by far the hardest city to take in game. It‘s like the Crown from Planetside 2. Sibirian Cavalry are also marching throughout many parts of Timur right now too.

54

Saladin is having breakfast while he awaits the news of Kwilu‘s capture. Mansa Musa is rage quitting at his stupidity and his officers are all disapointed, at least Carthage has open borders i guess but too late now to save Kwilu‘s inevitable fate. Kongo Dia Nlaza might also get taken which will still make Africa look ugly.

55

Slight peek at Canada and Lester B Pearson but not much else here other than Ice, more Ice and Tundra. Oh look Finish scouts, these guys are also busy looking for nice places to settle if it were ever even feasibly possible. I may be mistaken however, those could be Texans looking to defect, who knows?

56

And there we go! First phase of Aleutian Islands campaign complete. Blackfoot reinforcements still nowhere to be seen and the Inuit seems busy going in circles to much following the Arctic winds and waves but not to where they are needed. Sanirarajak next! Or will it? Come on Inuit! Oh and Sibir tells Vietnam to get lost.

57

As predicted Chairman Meow is failing horribly at Busan while Korean Turtle ships laugh their asses off watching. Vietnam‘s Anti-China task force is moving steadily northwards and Tibet has a brilliant chance for Hoa Lu. Tibet can into empire?

58

More irrellevent wars! Yeah keep them coming. It isn‘t like they go anyway other than how Braga turned out.

59

Look! An actual War! Shaka got so damn bored of having Impi‘s doin‘ nothing that he DOW on Kongo alonside Haile Selassie. But unless Boers accept open borders then Shaka will have to squiz his men through 1 tile to attack Nkuna so good luck! But hey! Let us be possitive that he actually did something today! Not very usual at all indeed!

60

Is... Augustus Ceasar still alive? Is he?!?! Did he survive that fall into that pit by Leonidas I and was rescued by The Last Legion and evacuated to Anatolia?! Stalin must know about this! He must! No other way! In any case the Balista are nowhere to be seen at all whoch is worrying. The Last Legion should seek political asylum in Israel or somewhere? In any case we will never know what happened to that Buc city by Brazil but it would seem that it failed. NOW! STAT time!

61

Australia makin‘ all the babies. Texas is recovering so nevermind what I said ealier! And the Boers are again rising upwards!

62

These people are all gonna fall anyway eventually. My best wishes Byzantine. You let your brother die to the same foe who took your capital!

63

HIGHEST IN TECH YET AGAIN!!! Interesting seeing that Afghanistan is rising up rapidly, Lahor hasn‘t yet fallen but tech wise Mirwais is doing great!

64

RIP guys. I wish you luck in future endeavours. All of these civs also are relatively tiny in land area and/or turtles. England isn‘t there however.

65

AGAIN?! Ok no objection there! He are about 25% stronger than Yakutia so yeah... Holy Shit. Nice job Hawaii btw.

66

Apparently the Ashanti have the combined military manpower than that to the Babylonian nuclear submarine... Well if this were real life that‘s amazing and all but that still is embarrassing. The Huns, England and the Phillipines (again) are here

67

GLORIOUS INUIT STRONK AND BIG. Australia is just settling 1 tile islands. Inuit are actually settling land now which is an important point to make. Sibir is also growing too.

68

Same list, same fates. These guys are the absolute turtle turtlers of them all. Small, squishy and just really really small.

69

And Religions! Judaism is still rapidly growing and has all of western Europe for itself with most followers and most cities. Also note the poor Ayyyyyuuuuubid‘s Islam has been abolish literally. No cities but dedicated followers keeping it alive in many parts of the Ayyyyyyubid‘s lands.

70

And even more importantly, the map!! Catholicsm is snowballing through Canada and Inuit and is on the verge EDGE of spreading and having all of South America to itself! So that will be awesome. Eastern Orthodoxy has all of Africa to itself. And the Australian continent begins converting to Buddhism!! Indonesia first, then Kimberley, Australia and of course little turtle Maori. OK! That‘s it! Phew. I have been constantly writing, editing, revising, rewriting and thinking for the past 4 hours straight and am barely 10 minutes now to the deadline of it getting uploaded! As a result this might be delayed so I deeply apologise but I am pretty proud of the 6,000 words I was able to write in such hurriedness and panic. (I just got notified to write this at about 1:30 AM AEST technically this morning right now haha. Please feel free for constructive criticism and such. I worked hard ensuring this wouldn‘t be a massive disaster and ugly to read. I had to rush it in the end thus the less amount of writing near the end but still good quality. Again thank you! I am /u/Professor-Reddit signing off! Thanks!!

Part 16: The Grudges Start Here – mk2

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