Part 21:: Ah, If It Isn‘t My Favourite City-State!

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Hey there guys! My name is TPangolin, and it‘s an absolute honor have all of you on board to witness a battle of absolutely crazy proportions. What lies ahead is a battle that will last for millennia - over 60 Civilizations, both Firaxis and Fan-Made will battle it out on the largest Earth Map available. Some areas like Europe will be a hotspot of contention, where civs will have to brutally fight against each other in order to gain that vital early-game upper hand. Other areas on the globe are much more open, but are we sure these civs will make the most of what they‘re given? Join us on a journey bathed in blood, where one nation will hopefully become victorious over 60 of their lesser global neighbors. Join us as we step into the madness that is the Official /r/civ 60+ A.I Battle Royale! Also remember to check out the Power Rankings to see where each Civilization ranks! - http://imgur.com/a/aZQn2/layout/horizontal#0 Joining us for the narration today is /u/Lurking_Chronicler! “Greetings, fellow BR enthusiasts! Our glorious leader TPangolin has graciously allowed me to narrate Part 21. Hopefully I won’t make any embarrassing mistakes that’ll cause him to regret that decision. Okay, let’s get this show on the road!”

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And now for the Royale map, made by /u/SylonL and city flips added by /u/thehonestyfish! Be sure to thank the various contributors to the community, as well as TPang himself, because the BR wouldn’t exist without them. Now, take a good look at this map, as after this part, it will change forever....

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And so we begin in Indonesia, where Gajah Mada has declared war on Saladin. He has a pretty sizable army and navy, so he could definitely take the Ayyubids down… If they weren’t separated by thousands of miles of ocean. Not much else to see here. Indonesia continues turtling, the Champa continue to build their fleet, and Australia continues to mostly ignore the area. Malaysia’s pretty quiet.

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Over to Israel, where Agent Semiramis has uncovered a plot by King David to overthrow his fellow bottom-tier ruler Alexios Komnenos. David’s so busy plotting that he seems to have forgotten that he’s at war with the Ayyubids. So much for taking Dvin. Some other fights are going on in the periphery. Persia’s trying to take Ghazni from Timur, Leonidas has launched a rather pointless invasion of Armenia, and the Ayyubids and Arabs continue to deplete their fleets struggling over Bethlehem.

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Sibir’s adopted the Autocracy Ideology, which will aid them greatly in their war with Attila. The two don’t seem to be fighting very seriously at the moment, but that could change anytime. Also, Kekkonen’s left his eastern cities almost undefended, except for a crowd of workers. He should probably consider moving some reinforcements east before Attila gets any funny ideas.

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Haile Selassie’s ended his pointless war with Nzinga. Now both of them can concentrate on fighting the Ayyubids, who seemed determined to retake Gondar from the Kongo. If Selassie can get his army northwards, he might be able to do some serious damage to the thinly-held Ayyubid core. To the west, Carthage continues to attack Bilbais. A smaller force surrounds Dire Dawa. Things are not looking good for Saladin.

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WHAT? TYGYN DARKHAN GOES TO WAR? IN ASIA?!? False alarm, he’s declared war on Vietnam. Still, Yakutia seems to be slowly waking up. Who knows, he might even declare war on one of his neighbors sometime in the next dozen parts. Meanwhile, the Maori have done a pretty good job upgrading their fleet. In celebration, they declare war on the Ayyubids, like all the popular civs are doing.

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Back in Africa, Saladin’s recaptured both Gondar and Bethlehem, but both Kongo and Arabia have pretty substantial armies nearby, so I doubt he’ll hold them for long. He’s holding back Israel and Ethiopia, but that isn‘t saying a whole lot.

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Back to France, where Napoleon’s launched an all-out assault to retake Orleans. However, this leaves Neapolis wide open for Hitler to attack, and Hitler already seems pretty certain to retake Cologne. France’s incompetence in this war is staggering. He should’ve taken York by now, but he continues to camp on the outskirts and let his army be picked off by English longbowmen. Ireland isn’t doing much better.

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Henry Parkes has a massive fleet (Grand Wobbegong Armada) sitting between Yokohama and Nagoya, which he is in the process of attacking. Meanwhile, Vietnam races with Australia to see who can be the one to capture Caloocan first. Meiji’s in a bad position. He should be bringing his fleet south to try and repel the Australian attackers, but he seems much more interested in trying to take Busan instead. Meiji must have drunk too much of God’s Sake, because I can’t another explanation as to why he isn’t trying to defend his home cities.

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Elizabeth’s managed to snipe Cologne from Germany, although Hitler will probably take it next turn. Take a good look of the English Empire- If Malachy finally stops dicking around and decides to get serious about invading Canterbury, it’ll never be this big again.

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Over in Eastern Europe, Casimir’s split his army into three parts, the largest of which he’s sent to invade Germany. Madness. Casimir needs to focus on holding Poznan right now, and preventing yet another one of his cities from falling to the Finnish. Wasting his army fighting the Nazis won’t help. If he was really smart, he could even try and retake Wroclaw to slow the Finnish advance. I wouldn’t hold my breath, though. At this point, it’s looking doubtful that Casimir will survive long enough for his Winged Hussars to make a difference. Given the size of the Finnish army, it’s very possible that particular ship has already sailed.

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Here’s an obligatory shot of the Mughals, who continue to be happily irrelevant. The most exciting thing happening here is that Akbar seems to have declared war on Vietnam. The only relevant target is the ex-Tibetan city of Senggezangbo.

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Henry Morgan’s made a daring voyage across the Atlantic and has settled the city of Portobello on the Azores. Maria probably isn’t very happy with this development, but quite frankly it’s her own fault for not having a better grip on her backyard.

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Here’s a shot of Newfoundland, where a massive Icelandic navy and army is parked. They actually seem slightly stronger than the resident Canadian forces assigned here.

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And now for a shot of Iceland proper, which seems to be engaged in peaceful trading operations with Ireland. Take note of Vestmannaeyjar (Quite a mouthful!), which is located just south of the polar ice sheet. It’s better situated than, say, Selfoss, but not by much.

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Australia’s managed to take Caloocan, and has managed to get Nagoya down to the red. Yet another Australian fleet enters the region, though I doubt they’ll really need it. Meiji is too busy drunkenly sending his navy to attack Busan, and Vietnam seems reluctant to attack Australian holdings in the area. Also, notice the Hawaiian tourists in the area. I like to imagine that they’re novelists writing gripping accounts of the Australian conquests in the area. Kamehameha should take note. He could very well be next.

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Over in North Africa, the war turns against the Ayyubids yet again. Nzinga’s retaken Gondar, and it looks to be permanent this time. Harun al-Rashid’s retaken Bethlehem as well, though he seems to have spent most of his navy in the process. Hannibal besieges Bilbais and Dire Dawa, and again the Ayyubid army seems to be stuck fighting the largely inconsequential Ethiopian invasion. Saladin needs to start looking into peace treaties, and soon.

19

Hitler finally reunites Cologne with the rest of Germany, and sends his army to push deeper into France. Meanwhile, a smaller army fends off the poorly-planned Polish invasion to the East. To the west, Napoleon retake Orleans again, and begins tentatively sending forces to approach York. To the north, Malachy decides to get serious about invading England and attacks Canterbury. This could be the beginning of the end for Elizabeth.

20

The Mayans successfully recapture Uxmal from the Buccaneers, though that’ll probably change soon enough. The two are locked in a stalemate. The Buccaneers will probably keep capturing Uxmal from the Mayans, but holding it will be tricky, seeing as Uxmal is one of the few places in Mayan territory that isn’t infested with the Hawaiian peacekeeping forces. Perhaps the recently-enlisted services of a certain Edward Teach can help the Buccaneers out… Also, Ethiopia doesn’t seem to have very many friends, if the denouncement list is any indication.

21

Yakutia enters the Industrial Era. Does anyone know if they have coal within their borders? I certainly don’t. Anyways, Yakutia is large, powerful, technologically advanced, and has a large and strong army. If only they’d actually use it once in a while! What’s the point of having more cannons than any other faction if you never do anything with them?

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What’s this? Agent Em’s discovered that Henry Morgan’s plotting against Lincoln? Not very surprising, honestly. Honest Abe better watch his back. Unless Lincoln is secretly holding Stephen Decatur in reserve, America will be in serious trouble if the pirates attack.

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Meanwhile, Agent Semiramis discovers that David is once again plotting against another bottom-tier power whom he can’t realistically reach. The Middle East looks identical to how it looks the last time Semiramis reported in. David daydreams about being able to pick on someone his own size, the Arabians defend Bethlehem, the Spartans grind pointlessly against Armenia, and Persia makes incremental progress against the Timurids.

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“Where art thou Sitting Bull?” cry out the Sioux in desperation. The Blackfoot, Mexicans, and Texans are all racing to see who can capture the capital city of Hunkpapa first, while Blackfoot forces surround Unkpatina. Oyuphe is in the yellow, and will soon be Canadian unless the Texans try to go in for a back-door snipe. The Sioux’s days are numbered, and the people turn in desperation to Sitting Bull, hoping for him to save them. Little do they realize he’s decided to go throw in his lot with the equally-doomed Mayans. Meanwhile, the Ayyubids, determined to be the greatest North African pariahs to have ever lived, decide to denounce Persia in addition to all their neighbors.

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The Sri Lankans have recruited Leif Ericsson as their Great Admiral, which is the most interesting thing to have happened to them in forever. India, much like South America, seems destined to be irrelevant.

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Here’s a shot of the Inuit and Blackfoot core regions, both of which seem rather peaceful. The Inuit have been busy building new additions to the Ice Fleet Sheet, not that they’re likely to ever be able to use them. Elsewhere, Lizzie recaptures Orleans from Napoleon and Mirwais denounces a few other civs.

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It seems that Darius has finally succeeded in capturing Ghazni from Timur, though Timur has a rather formidable army waiting to take it back. Regardless, this victory seems to have been the final push needed to advance Darius into the Renaissance… Where he continues to be a full era behind some of his neighbors.

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The Top Kekks declare war on Attila, though one has to question the wisdom of doing this with such a small army on hand. Kekkonen had better get his army eastwards pretty quickly, or his workers are about to meet a nasty fate at the hands of the Huns.

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Looks like the Boers have adopted Autocracy. Also… wow. Just LOOK at the Boers. It’s easy to forget how powerful they are due to how rarely we get to see their full empire in one shot.

30

The Australians have taken Nagoya. I somehow doubt the Japanese will retake it, given how spread out their forces are. Worse, Parkes has ordered a massive naval assault on the lightly-held capital. Meiji needs to sober up and start using that military prowess that’s been causing us to root for him so far, or he risks having the Brittanians-I mean Australians- taking over his own country and renaming it something like Area Eleven.

31

Unlike Meiji, the Mexicans have managed to stay sober long enough to snatch Hunkpapa before the Texans can take it. Meanwhile, Oyuhe is deep in the red, and Unkpatina is surrounded by the Blackfeet. This spells doom for the Sioux. Their capital is gone, their remaining two cities in mainland North America are surrounded, and their leader has abandoned them for the Mayans. The MAYANS! You know you’re in bad shape when the Mayans are better off than you are.

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Looks like the Buccaneers have sent a scout to witness the fall of the Sioux. Maybe one day Sitting Bull will hear how the tribe he abandoned fell to their enemies, and return to the last remaining city the Sioux still have in the Arctic (that is, if they still have it by then). But that day looks to be long off, and for now the leaderless, hopeless Sioux are rapidly being crushed by their enemies.

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Is that… Edward Kenway? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

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Korea enters the Industrial Era, slightly behind some of its fellow civs despite its incredible scientific advancements. Even so, Korea is exceptionally stronk at the moment. If they decided to attack Japan from behind and split it down the middle with Australia, they could easily do so right now.

35

Vietnam and the Cham lay siege to Manila as more Hawaiian observers look on. Rizal had better pick a religion and say his prayers, because Manila’s impending fall looks pretty set in stone. Also, Arabia goes crazy with denouncements. Harun al-Rashid must be in a bad mood today.

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My goodness! Kamehameha and Sejong get in on the denouncement game as well. No one is spared! Not even the Snoryaks! Meanwhile, it looks like Napoleon’s retaken Orleans yet again, though that could change at any moment. Cologne looks securely in German hands, although the English are determined to change that. Elizabeth should be concerned that Malachy is threatening to capture Canterbury with his UU, the Kerns. The French continue to be grossly incompetent. Holding Orleans is requiring the bulk of their army, and they aren’t even succeeding at that. They’re STILL unable to take York, their fleet has been completely destroyed by the English and Germans, and Hitler is busy reenacting WWI on their eastern border. Perhaps worst of all, their unit carpet is showing notable holes, which speaks volumes on Napoleon’s (in)ability to keep his men alive.

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Brazilian Soldier #1: “You ever wonder why we’re here?” Brazilian Soldier #2: “It’s one of life’s great mysteries isn‘t it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don’t know, man, but it keeps me up at night.” Brazilian Soldier #1: “…What?! I mean why are we out here, in this jungle? Brazilian Soldier #2: “Oh. Uh… yeah.” Brazilian Soldier #1: “What was all that stuff about God?” Brazilian Soldier #2: “Uh…hm? Nothing.” Brazilian Soldier #1: “Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it‘s just a bunch of in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out. The only reason that we set up Fortaleza here is because they have Machu over there. And the only reason they have Machu over there is because we set up Fortaleza here.” Brazilian Soldier #2: “Yeah. That‘s because we‘re fighting each other.” Brazilian Soldier #1: “No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take over Fortaleza, they would have TWO cities in the middle of a jungle. Whoopdee-fucking-doo.” Elsewhere… Incan Soldier#1: “What’re they doing?” Incan Soldier #2: “What?” Incan Soldier #1: “I said, ‘What are they doing now?” Incan Soldier #2: “God damn, I‘m getting so sick of answering that question!”

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To the north, the Buccaneers continue their assault on Uxmal. To the south, a certain blue-coated team of Incan soldiers are considering hiring some Hawaiian Freelancers to try and help them in their endless war with a certain team of red-coated Brazilian soldiers.

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Agent Em uncovers a plot by Henry Morgan to backstab the Texans while they are busy finishing of the Sioux. Said Sioux are about to lose Oyuhpe to the Canadians, and the Blackfoot have begun the final assault on Unkpatina.

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Jandamarra builds the Red Fort, which grants +12 defense in the city he constructs it in, and a 25% city defensive bonus across the empire, which is pretty nifty. It’ll certainly come in handy if the Kimberly ever go to war with Australia.

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And with that, the Kimberly enter the Industrial Era. They’re looking pretty strong, especially with those Riflemen. They’re still weak compared to their Aussie neighbors, but then again, so is everyone.

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Casimir still refuses to fight sensibly and end his two-front war, and as such is suffering the consequences. The invasion of Germany that’s tying up most of his army isn’t working. He’s failing to retake Wroclaw, Poznan is under siege, and his interior is lightly held. Poland is perilously close to being penetrated by the Finns, and yet Casimir still doesn’t seem to take the situation seriously. Casimir’s recklessness could be the downfall of his country if this keeps up much longer.

43

Attila invades the Finnish settlements bordering him, though Kekkonen does send some cannons as reinforcements. Much more significant is that Attila has evidently decided that Sibir can have Bakihon if he wants it. Otherwise, how else do you do explain him leaving the city undefended like that? It’s ridiculous.

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Canterbury looks like it’s about to fall soon. Elizabeth seems to be condensing her forces around London to prepare for the increasingly inevitable outcome that London becomes England’s last toehold in the British Isles. Things are grim for Lizzie.

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Elsewhere, the Kimberly have heard tales of the Australian settlement of Broken Hill and decided that they too want to settle a city in the most isolated spot possible. While it lacks the same amount of isolation that Broken Hill has, it is in a slightly more convenient location. Emphasis on “slightly”.

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Lots of stuff is going in the Caucasus region. Armenia and Sparta declare to end their wasteful, inconclusive war in Anatolia, though it’s anyone’s guess how long this peace will actually last. Sparta decides to follow up this peace treaty with several denunciations. To the east, Timur recruits Vasco da Gama as a Great Admiral, though thus rankly doesn’t seem too useful given the location in the Caspian Sea. To the north, Attila continues to let Sibir take free shots at Baikhon.

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Speaking of Attila, the presence of Finnish cannons in San Bartolo seem to be acting as a pretty good deterrent for the Huns. The same can’t be said of Joensuu, which is now overrun.

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Back to Japan, where the apparently bottomless Australian navy is launching attacks on Osaka as well as Tokyo. The Japanese navy is just too small and spread out to repel the Aussie menace, and Meiji will need a miracle if he wants to stop losing to Parkes.

49

Damn. Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo are all under attack, as well as most of the Japanese navy. I’m not sure what motivated Meiji to found Wakayama, as it opens up yet another easy target for the Australians, and it’ll create a lot of overlap conflict between Kyoto and Tokyo. Things look very bad for the Japanese right now, but there is still hope; the Australian navy’s taken a lot of damage, and if Meiji can outlast them he just might be able to scrape through this. If he gets really lucky, it’s possible that he could even retake Nagoya. However, this all depends on the Koreans. If Sejong were to declare war on Japan right now, it would be game over for Meiji.

50

Big trouble in Little England. Hitler and Napoleon have signed a peace deal, meaning that both of them are now free to attack England at their leisure. Indeed, Germany, the major beneficiary of this peace deal, is already sending forces to harass London. This came at the worst possible time. Malachy’s completely surrounded Canterbury and is about to take it, and all English units have been pulled back to London. If both Germany and Ireland decide to attack London, the English could be completely pushed off the British Isles. Napoleon isn’t doing well either. He’s lost Cologne, he could still lose Orleans, his army’s in tatters, and HE STILL CAN’T TAKE YORK! Meanwhile, the Swedes continue their attempts to invade Germany. Despite being at war with Germany for some time, they really haven’t made any notable progress in this endeavor.

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Let’s take a closer look at Anatolia. Sparta’s made peace with Armenia, though not much was really happening here anyways. The Spartans didn’t even manage to attack any cities! To the north, you can see the Last Legion under Mark Anthony attempting to gain sanctuary from the Byzantines, though the Byzantines don’t seem to have any room to spare.

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Over in North Africa, it looks like Hannibal’s decided to leave Dire Dawa for Nzinga and shift gears towards capturing Alexandria instead of Bilbais. It seems that Saladin’s building Mamluks, which he’ll need a lot more of if he doesn’t want to get swallowed up by his neighbors.

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The Trung Sisters seem to have abandoned their attack on Mao. Mao’s launching his own attack against Vietnam, though it doesn’t look like it’ll go anywhere. Meanwhile, the Japanese fleet continues to disintegrate. Now would be an excellent opportunity for Korea to attack Busan, China, or Japan, possibly even all three. I doubt such a chance will come again anytime some.

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Here’s a shot of Argentina, which doesn’t seem to be doing much at the moment. Both Brazil and Chile could make short work of Argentina if they tried, but neither seem interested. South America remains boring as usual. The most interesting thing happening here is Rome denouncing Portugal. The Last Legion must not like the idea of Maria the Mad occupying their former capital.

55

The Buccaneers retake Uxmal yet again. It remains to be seen whether or not they can hold it, though, as the Mayans have dispatched most of their army (including Sitting Bull, who either doesn’t know about the plight of the Sioux or has stopped caring) to stop the Buccaneers from taking one of their few remaining cities.

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Manila’s fate is sealed. The only question now is whether Vietnam or Champa takes it. Rizal better enjoy his remaining time left as ruler of a sovereign nation, because the fall of the Philippines is imminent.

57

Okay, forget what I said earlier about Japan being able to possibly outlast the Australians and retake Nagoya, because that isn’t going to happen. Wakayama and Osaka are under heavy assault, the Japanese navy has been wrecked, and unless the Japanese secure a peace deal rather quickly, most of the cities on the island of Japan are going to be Australian. Japan will probably survive this invasion, but any chance of the Empire of the Rising Sun becoming a regional power is gone. The sun has started to set on Meiji, and if Korea and the Inuit decide to gang up on Japan as well, it’s going to set a lot quicker.

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Unkpatina has fallen to the Texans. The leaderless Sioux have been pushed completely off of North America, victims of their expansionistic neighbors. The only question now is which North American civ will be the next to fall…

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The city of Kiyaksa is all that remains of the Sioux now, and likely will be for some time to come. Though Kiyaksa is isolated and hard to attack, it is also situated in very inhospitable terrain, and there really isn’t anything the Sioux will be able to do from now on except for waiting for Sitting Bull to return to them. Even when this happens, they probably won’t be able to do much except turtle and wait for Canada or the Inuit to finish them off. This is a very sad fate for the once-proud Sioux.

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I WARNED YOU ABOUT TWO-FRONT WARS BRO! I TOLD YOU DOG! We now get to see the results of Casimir attempts to fight the Nazis and Finns simultaneously. It hasn’t worked out well for him. His army is fragmenting, not helped by him sending his units to go swim in the Black Sea. Casimir needs peace treaties badly, or else his enemies are going to continue to chip away at him from all sides until Poland is no more. Amazingly enough, the Byzantines are not only still in this game, but are actually doing better than a bunch of other civs. This is probably due to the strange absence of most of the Soviet Army. Where is Stalin hiding it?

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Here’s a close-up of the settler (and tracker) the Kimberly sent to that one-tile island last part. We’ll probably get to see the settlement it forms next part. Haile Selassie denounces a bunch of people again. I wonder what he’s so angry about.

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I’m afraid this Afghan settler is out of luck. Everyone else has already managed to claim most of the islands in the Indian Ocean, if not all of them. Also, Indonesia denounces Burma in the background.

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Agent Em has discovered that Morgan is buy plotting against… Maria? Wow. Morgan has guts, I’ll give him that. This will make for an interesting edition of the Lazy Portugal Show.

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Ah, Snoreway. Tranquil, peaceful, and calm. What a nice pla*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* Nothing is happening in Norway. It’s right up there with the Mughals and Yakutia for most inactive civilization.

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Sri Lanka completes the Sistine Chapel, one of the Wonders that’s almost essential for a Culture Victory. Too bad this is a domination-based game, or the Sistine Chapel might’ve actually helped.

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Timur continues his attempt to win back Ghazni, and with his superior army, he may soon succeed. The conflict between Mirwais, Darius, and Timur has stalled, and the three ought to make peace and focus on trying to strengthen themselves. This back-and-forth skirmishing in the mountain passes is going nowhere.

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Not much is happening in Tibet, which seems mostly content to retreat into the Himalayas and remain irrelevant. Much like Snoreway and the Mughals, little is going on in Tibet.

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Manila, the last city and capital of the once-proud Philippines, has fallen to the Cham. The Philippines, like the Rome and the Ashanti, is no more. Rizal has vanished, assumed dead (but secretly whisked away to confinement within the Babylonian sub). Press “F” to pay your respects.

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Stat time! Not much has really changed, aside from the Inuit moving up to fifth place in population

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The casualty list from this part is astounding. The Philippines joins Rome and the Ashanti at 0 population, and the Sioux lost a staggering 2.8 million people in their disastrous war with their neighbors.

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The Maori break into this list at 10th place. Australia takes 1st place again, despite all the losses they incurred fighting Japan.

72

The Ayyubids and Japan are getting wrecked. Both used to have top-tier armies, and now both of them are in the bottom tiers, courtesy of the Gangbangs they’ve both been stuck in.

73

Australia overtakes the Inuit in terms of cities, just like many predicted. No changes in rank, interestingly enough.

74

The Sioux are on their last city. One more siege and its curtains for them.

75

The Yaks move back up to 1st in tech, neck and neck with Korea. Australia and Finland aren’t far behind either of them.

76

The usual suspects. Carthage needs to get its hands on universities, and soon. It’s not acceptable for a civ doing so well to be so far behind in tech.

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The Sioux jumped up to 2nd place in this part, not that it helped them much.

78

Huh. Looks like Nzinga managed to get Dire Dawa.

79

Uh oh. Malachy’s managed to take Canterbury. Elizabeth’s in serious trouble. Looks like Islam’s back down to 2 cities…

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Well, that’s it for now. Remember to check r/civbattleroyale for stuff like Power Rankings, Lazy Portugal Show, and all the cool stuff the community creates. Thanks again to TPang for letting me narrate all this! If you noticed any typos, errors, or have any criticism you’d like to offer me, don‘t be afraid to message me.

Part 21:: Ah, If It Isn‘t My Favourite City-State! – mk2

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