Part 29: Ships Just Got Real...

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Welcome back to the Civ Battle Royale! Here’s wishing /u/TPangolin a happy whatever the Australian version of Thanksgiving is! This Is u/NuclearWarlordGandhi with part 29 of the Battle Royale. First of all, thank you TPang for letting me narrate this part after messaging you for nearly I think 3 weeks. I’m not that good at small talk so let’s get straight into the action!

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Here is the map of the world by u/SylonL with cities by /u/LacsiraxAriscal Great as always, and very useful for when I forget that South America exists.

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Simplified relationship graph by the talented /u/mazerlaser! Q: How is the simplified version simplified? A: The simplified graph is supposed to be the most important relationships. Here are the rules I‘m using: - Don‘t show denouncements of civs that are also at war. - Show all relationships between bordering nations. - Show relationships between other civs only if they share borders with another civ and at least one of them has a relationship with that middle civ. The unsimplified version is well.... you‘ve been warned...http://i.imgur.com/PmQUnZa.png

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Right off the bat we have a war breaking out. Champa declares war on Akbar but with no land borders I don’t expect much to happen here.

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Feeling bad about Akbar being attacked by the Champa, Vietnam decides that the Mughals are not a high priority and make peace. No Cities are taken by Vietnam, in the peace deal (which was once their speciality) Also the Hawaiian crossbowman is taking some well-deserved vacation time from his job of getting in the way of other civs.

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The Great Wollongong Armada is staring down the Maori instead of invading them. Dammit Australia invade them before they double team you with the Kimberley. TPang‘s note: Wobbegong Armada -_-

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Afghanistan is taking its time, invading the Persians who are trying their best to save Susa. Also that Israeli missionary is getting the hell out of there. Also The Kimberley spin the wheel of random denouncements and it lands on Henry Morgan’s Pirate Nation.

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Here is a shot of South America. The one thing I don’t understand is why Brazil or the Inca don’t attack the Buccaneer cities that don’t look that well defended except for the mountains. And Snoreway decides that Sparta has the right idea and declares a war on a very close neighbour, the Ayyubids (/s). Also Carthage declares war on the Armenians in what I am dubbing the Irrelevant Elephant War.

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The Snoviet-Siberian War continues as the two empires fight over the snow they call home.

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Tensions continue to grow on the Swedish-Spartan border over whose recent conquests were more impressive. A land war between the two would be interesting as neither side has a massive carpet to throw at the other near Lodz which I assume would be the center of the fighting.

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Chile continues its assault on the Argentinians. La Plata is not likely to withstand the Chilean navy and army. Brazil watches as its neighbours fight it out and sits back planning the Olympics, which are 2466 years away. A Brazilian can dream. Also Sibir takes one of Stalin’s snow cities.

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Coo Coo looks at the Antarctic Wollongong armada and tries to figure out how to fend it off if Parkes decides there is only room for one of them in Australia. TPang‘s note: ಠ╭╮ಠ

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Sparta continues to not know how to cross the Mediterranean and sends no troops to take the Ayyubids’ coastal city or even the invaluable city of Dvin which would open up a whole new world for the Spartans to send their navy. But you know Sparta is still a Civ A.I. Portugal joins forces with its enemy Sparta to take down the Ayyubids. Only problem is how the hell will Portugal get there. In other irrelevant wars the Zulus declare war on the Mughals. ------------

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France continues its assault on Hastings in its attempt to finish of Elizabeth to silence her constant trade propositions “WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A TRADE AGREEMENT WITH ENGLAND?” Liz is just trolling at this point. Good on ya!

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The War of The Giants continues as Yakutia captures Igloolik (for the Bilma‘th time). Even though that capture will be short lived it still provides a temporary canal to strike at other Inuit cities. Byzantium and Burma both decide that the Kimberley should be pleased and denounce the Buccaneers to try and gain favor with the Western Australian Nation.

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Persia, realizing that there are better targets - mainly Afghanistan - makes peace with Armenia, which was a threat and Australia, which was not. Also, Armenia declares war on Korea.

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Arabia, deciding to carve out their own little piece of Africa, declare war on the Ayyubids who can’t seem to catch a break. Unlike Sparta the Arabians already moved troops to invade and seem likely to be a major pain in Saladin’s ass.

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The South American War Of Semi-Relevance continues as Chile continues to fail at attacking Argentina who simultaneously fails at attacking Chile back. Also the Polish Pikeman is Pissed at the Zulu’s and Arabians and denounces them in a bid to get attention.

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Agent Semiramis discovers that Donald Trump has been elected president of Canada and is plotting to attack Mexico. Only Mr. Garrison can save us now. On a more serious note there is kind of a Texas in the way.

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The Timurids continue to send troops into Persia with their unique units the Tumen. The Tumen earns gold from killing units and attacking cities and is better against cities than the Lancer it replaces. Also, it has no resource requirement.

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And Agent Em moves to Dublin to figure out what Ireland’s next move is, France?, Portugal? Iceland? Or the most likely answer some random civ in South America.

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The Snoviet-Siberian war continues as Stalin no longer has any cities on the mainland near Sibir. Kranoyarsk may fall but won’t remain in Snoviet hands for that long.

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HOLY CRAP, DID THAT ACTUALLY JUST HAPPEN?! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Byzantium, the civ with arguably the weakest army in the game that controls land declares war on Finland. Whether Alexios is drunk or suicidal we don’t know, but what I do know is that Byzantium might be going to see its brother very soon. Also Mongolia makes peace with Burma.

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The War of The Mountains continues as neither Burma or Vietnam make any progress. Now if Vietnam invaded Champa right now they might get a few cities including an attractive capital but instead they are attacking Burma who has wonderful mountain protection.

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The Inuit recapture the canal city of Igloolik as the war continues to be a stalemate. Also note the Mexican trireme observing its neighbour to the far north.

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Here is the Alaskan homeland of the Inuit, untouched by the war. The Mexican scout is seemingly lost and has vanished to adopt the igloo lifestyle. Also the Buccaneer frigate to the north is trying to trade rum with the Inuit which never heard of such a thing.

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The French continue to fail at eliminating their old rival but decided to send some scholars over to the Caribbean to learn the technology of the pirates. Finland also denounces the Soviet Union.

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Snoreway and Sweden both have impressive armies and a land war between the two would determine the fate of Scandinavia.

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For once something happens in South America when Argentina enters the Industrial Era. Will this change anything and possibly make South America interesting? No, no it won’t.

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Sparta continues to attack Nicomedia. The city continues to hold against the Spartan Fleet. The Ayyubids have a decent navy to fend off the Spartans but that can only hold for so long. However, the Spartans will need ground troops to take Cairo.

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Kransnoyarsk falls to the red as the Snoviet Union continues to pound it with its navy. The Siberians are sending their navy to combat the Snoviet Arctic Armada. Also Attila declares war on Finland. “Does Attila want to be Finnished off?”. I’ll show myself out.

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The Australian colony of South Japan slowly rebuilds after the Operation Fair Dinkum. Also Finland spins the wheel of random denouncements and denounces the Inuit.

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Sweden joins the ranks of Autocratic civilizations and in an amazing show of competency declares war on Armenia, who shares a massive land border with them. This war will surely be bloody and drawn out, just like the how Roman Legion will capture Sparta. Chile also makes peace with Finland.

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TPang has informed me that the Irish-Icelandic War has just started! He says the lack of the notification was because he was right clicking too fast to get rid of the side notifications so as to cut down on screenshots. Whether or not you believe him (#Wollongate #Conspiracy) is up to you - but there‘s no denying this is exciting. TPang‘s note: ಥ_ಥ

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Iceland continues to send boat after boat to the Irish Isles. And the Brazilian caravel goes to take participants for the upcoming Olympics.

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The Persian-Afghan War continues as Susa is Sure to Surrender Soon. But after Susa falls the war might stalemate because of the mountains. Even though the mountains give Afghanistan a combat boost they still need to get enough troops passed the mountains to reach Persepolis.

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The War of Relevance continues as neither side makes any progress and somehow Byzantium is not dead yet. O’Higgins makes peace with the Norwegians. But as one irrelevant war ends another begins as Finland joins the Great Elephant Wars.

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Some Finnish units mount an attack on the last remaining Hunnic City. Why the hell did Attila declare war? I don’t know what’s dumber, the Byzantine DOW or the Hunnic one.

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The South American War Of Semi-Relevance continues as Chile slowly damages La Plata and Brazil, who I forgot was in the war, sends a metric shitetonne (or imperial fuckton for us Americans) of units at Argentina in a bid to gain land for the Olympic stadium.

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Nothing to see here. Sibir might take another Soviet city but that won’t do much. Mexico also denounces the Zulus because why the hell not.

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Portugal decides that intercontinental war takes too much effort and makes peace with Canada who is too busy plotting to take over Mexico to give a crap.

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Malachy, King of the Irish Isles enters the Industrial Era. Also there are Canadian caravels and triremes scouting trying figure out where their Queen went.

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A shot of what I assume was the only battleground of the Canadian-Portuguese War. Now, if Canada sent a few more units there they might have captured a city and made a normally irrelevant war actually mean something. Surprised Canada got nothing in the peace deal.

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Sparta takes Nicomedia and is slowly tearing down Alexandria and Dvin’s defenses. The Spartan navy is doing very competent at an aspect of war the A.I normally sucks at. Also the Ayyubids declare war on Finland because A.I. Also the Maori ruin the best chance they had to win by denouncing the Kimberley who they should have allied with against Australia in the inevitable Wollongong World War.

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The Yakutia decide that the Hawaiian’s peaceful ways are not OK and denounce them. Also not much is happening in Alaska. The Inuits have settled beyond their City list though founding ridiculously Inuit city-names such as 'Holford‘s Prairie' and 'Pasadena'

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Another larger shot of Alaska. (Including the Inuit AF city names of 'Ciudad Guayana' and 'Viana Do Costelo')

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Mongolia and Korea both board the random denouncement train and denounce the Huns, Norway, Portugal, Texas, and the Buccaneers. Also Rome denounces Sparta.

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The Persian-Afghan war finally ends with the city of Susa falling to the Afghans. The border between the two looks much nicer now with a border down the mountain chain.

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China and The Ayyubids both decide that they should gang up on the one civ more screwed than them and both declare war.

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Goddammit, Parkes! Declare war already and wipe the floor with the Maori instead of denouncing Canada! The war would be bloody, yes, but Parkes would win due to the sheer size of the Wobbegong Armada. TPang‘s note: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You finally got it right!

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The South American War Of Semi-Relevance continues with no real progress being made on either side. Now if the Inca joined something may eventually happen but the South American terrain makes it real hard for the armies in the north to invade. Still, Chile should be wiping the floor with the southern Argentinean cities.

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Iceland continue to pound at the Northern Irish cities. The Icelandic navy is making short work of Malachy’s Northern Outposts.

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Brazil and the Mayans both declare war on Portugal who seems to be hated in the New World. Hawaii continues to send troops to do nothing and get in the way of other civilizations.

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Vietnam and Indonesia both make peace with Burma after a war that stuff and things may or may not have happened in.

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Another day, another irrelevant war ends with Korea making peace with the Buccaneers.

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Two of the greatest powers in the world are about to fight it out. Sparta and The Boers…. While this one day would be a relevant war, unless the Boers have some super-secret navy then I don’t expect this war to have any causalities. Meanwhile another two of the world’s greatest powers are already fighting it out in a bloody war and the Yakuts re-capture Igloolik from the Inuit.

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The Icelandic Navy continues to pound away at the northern part of the Irish Isles. Also an English scout looks on from a distance at the remnants of the British empire.

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The Kimberley enter the Modern Era and with a tech advantage should strike at Australia before they catch up. Soon we will be seeing planes and tanks and then things should be getting interesting.

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America reminds us that they still exist and declare war on Portugal. Will any cities flip? No. Will any units fight? Maybe. Will we remember there was a war when peace is declared? Absolutely not. But you know America can’t contain democracy to itself.

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Texas continues to provide a nice buffer between Canadian Prime Minister Trump and Mexico. It’s a shame that Texas has not invaded America yet. They certainly have the numbers, but America is building up in tech and soon may have a foreign legion to defend themselves.

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Sibir joins Yakutia in denouncing Hawaii who continues to turtle and build up a navy and some relatively defendable cities. Also there is a sneaky submarine spying on some Hawaiian Islands.

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Japan makes peace with Mexico. For such an irrelevant war Mexico actually sent units over to try and annoy Japan and maybe take a city or two.

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The Boers make their first appearance of the episode. Their army continues to be one of the more impressive armies in the game but Ethiopia also has a relatively large army that would hold up to a Boer invasion. A war between the two will be very exciting to watch. #ScramblefoAfrica

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The Spartan navy continues to attack the Ayyubid coastal cities. The Ayyubids continue to hold up well against an attack from 3 fronts, Spartan, Arabian, and Elephant.

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Instead of taking advantage of the situation and invading the Ayyubids, Ethiopia decides that Sparta is a much better target and declares war on Leonidas.

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The Battle Royale takes a shocking turn when Agent Em discovers that Malachy is plotting against the Roman Legion. This will surely change the course of the game and the incoming war will be drawn out and very bloody.

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The Soviets finally did it and take Krasnoyarsk. Whether they will be able to hold it is another question but more importantly something actually happened in the war.

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The war of relevance continues as Byzantium holds against Finland. How Finland, who is in the top 10 in the Power Rankings, is not wrecking Byzantium and their horribly outdated army I don’t know but now I can be proud of my first teams brother. #RomeWillRiseAgain.

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Sparta continues to fail at taking the Ayyubid coastal cities in an amazing show of the AI’s naval genius. Also the Maori denounce Vietnam and Hawaii.

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Here is Sri Lanka who remind us that they exist when they make peace with the Timurids. Also the Sri Lankan navy looks like it could do some damage to nearby Burma or Champa if Sri Lanka ever decided to do something. Also another day another irrelevant war ends when The Buccaneers make peace with Yakutia.

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The Irish-Icelandic war continues as Iceland gains a beachhead on the Irish Isles with the city of Galway. Now if Iceland had some land units they might be able to take a few more cities but for now the Irish Isles don’t seem likely to fall anytime soon. Also the Mughals denounce Ethiopia, France, and Sri Lanka and the Mongolians declare war on Finland.

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IT’S ON! Sweden declares war on Sparta in an epic future blockbuster movie that will tell the story of the fate of central Europe in 311 BC*. Both have impressive land armies but Sweden’s is located closer to the front line and probably will capture a few cities before Sparta can move enough troops to defend Lodz and Warsaw. While I don’t think this will end either civ, I do think that central Europe may be unified after this war. *We‘ll call it Three Hundred and Bork

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France and Ireland continue to fail at taking Hastings. The sun is not quite ready to set on the British Empire and England may survive to randomly denounce civs another day.

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The Timurid-Persian war continues has the Timurids slowly make progress in the siege of Ghazni and eventually may take the city. Mali also denounces Korea and Hawaii.

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Chile has made massive progress in the siege of La Plata and will take the city soon. Once La Plata falls, Buenos Aires will be the next target and if Chile continues its sudden surge of competency then I don’t know how long Buenos Aires will hold. Sibir also denounces Portugal, Ethiopia, and France.

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The Inuit steal territory from the Blackfoot with some Citadels and this is sure to piss the Blackfoot off. The open terrain of the border would make it easy for both sides to move troops quickly, which would mean a lot of death on both sides. If the Inuit move their troops to the right place a capital might fall very quickly.

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An Australian scout watches the Blackfoot and waits to witness the inevitable war between the Inuit and Blackfoot to decide the fate of northwest North America.

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Morocco takes advantage of Carthage’s weakness and declares war, rushing Utique and Tangier. Just kidding they declare war on Ethiopia who would crush them if they were not on the other side of the continent.

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Alla Rakha, an English great musician knowing their home country is doomed preform an impromptu naval concert for the Afghani, Mali, Portuguese and Carthaginian units adjacent. They look on at the Portuguese fleet and is thankful that they are not on the bad side of Maria. Now if Portugal declared war on Carthage or Morocco, their navy would take a few cities and probably could take either Morocco or Portugal’s capital.

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Like his friend Malachy, Napoleon also decides that the remnants of dead civs need to go and plots against Casimir. A Franco-Polish war will be deadly and whole units might be moved. This will be the war to end the Battle Royale and France will go down in Battle Royale history as the most competent A.I ever.

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The Polish pikeman reacts to the French plot by not giving a crap and continuing to mind their own business and sail around. Also the Israeli scouts continue to watch and explore the world and spread Judaism all across Europe and Asia.

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Sparta takes the key Canal city of Dvin down to the yellow and makes some more progress on Alexandria. Carthage continues to damage Bilbais. And Arabia continues to fail at invading from the easiest route I can imagine. The Ayyubids have been surprisingly competent this part and continue to hold against an invasion from three fronts from 1 regional superpower and then there‘s Carthage and Arabia. The Maori decide that they have been peaceful for far too long and declare war on Ethiopia. What better way to end the part then with the start of the next great war of irrelevance.

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Stat Time! The Maori continue to have a slight lead in population over their much larger neighbor to the west. The Boers with their recent conquests have grown to be in the top 3 and Hawaii continues to do one thing right, with the fourth highest.

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The Huns continue to have the smallest population in the game with only 232,000. That’s 1/281 the size of the Maori. The Huns are on death’s door and unless they get lucky they probably won’t be around for Christmas. Senshi’s note: “Merry Christmas! You’re dead!”

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Australia continues to have the largest military by far over the Inuit and Boers. Now only if they would use their military - which is almost twice the size of the Kimberley’s - against them, then they might control the entire Australian continent and would be free to invade Africa, South America, Oceania, or Asia.

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The bottom of the pack includes England, The Huns, Byzantium, and the Mayans. All of these civs could die if any their neighbors decided it’s time for them to go. The Huns are the most likely to die first, as Portugal has shown no interest in invading England and somehow Byzantium continues to hold off against Finland in the war that they started.

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Australia and the Inuit are tied for most cities with 48 apiece. The Boers come in a distant second with 39 cities and Sibir in third with 34.

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Both England and the Huns are at the bottom in terms of cities with 1 each. Now Byzantium might join them in the one city club soon if Finland remembers how to war and wipes the floor with the outdated Byzantine army.

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Finland continues to be most progressive civilization with 28 policies. Burma and Yakutia come in second with 26 apiece and The Inuit in a close third with 25.

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The Ashanti will permanently be at the bottom of the pack with only 11 policies. Israel is the least progressive living civilization with only 14 policies’, ½ the amount of policies as Finland.

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Catholicism barely beats Judaism out for the most cities and followers with 4 more cities and 13 more followers. Islam is near death with only 1 city under its control and only 46 followers. The other 4 religions, Orthodoxy, Akatt-u, Buddhism, and Shinto continue to be regional religions with average followings.

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And finally to finish off the part is a Religion Map of the world. Judaism covers all of Europe and the Middle East while Catholicism dominates North America and the northernmost parts of South America. Shinto dominates the East Asian coast and Buddhism covers South East Asia, Oceania, and most of Australia. Akatt-u covers most of central Asia and Russia. Eastern-Orthodoxy covers almost all of Africa. Thank you for watching this has been u/NuclearWarlordGandhi with Part 29 of the Civilization Battle Royale!

Part 29: Ships Just Got Real... – mk2

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