Civ Battle Royale

Part 33: Farewell Sweet Princes →

Part 32: Royale Wars XXXII - The Pangolin Awakens – mk2

January 25, 2016

senshidenshi

330

Audio Narration

Abstract

After a brief interlude, everyone’s favorite AI game is back!

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1

It‘s finally back, guys! I‘m /u/senshidenshi, Guardian of Brisbane (bam double Innistrad reference on the first slide)* and I‘m narrating again for some reason! Yeah, I tend to narrate in emergency scenarios, sure, but... never mind. As always, be sure to check out the community at /r/civbattleroyale! *(Original title was 'Pangolin Restored' HAHAHHAHAHA I HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL!)
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2

As always, here‘s the fantastic world map, created by /u/SylonL and /u/LacsiraxAriscal! However, the map _may_ not be perfectly accurate this time around. For those of you not in the loop, the latest save of the CBR that was functional was turn 314, and hence not everything that has happened has happened. Apparently most of the things are the same, all the civs that were dead last time, but certain things (such as the Australia/Vietnam DoW) never happened. Which means this is technically an alternate reality! Damn, I was really hoping I‘d be evil and have a moustache or something... Without further ado, let‘s begin!
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3

A rare glimpse of the Australian core. It‘s very well-defended, but not nearly as carpeted as I assumed it‘d be. Also note they‘re defending their border with the Kimberley with pikemen. Then again, so are the Kimberley. Can‘t help but notice that resource icons are being displayed. Always happy to please, eh, TPangs? ;) ;) ;)
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4

The Trungs complete the Eiffel Tower, another cultural wonder. Unlike Broadway, however, the Eiffel Tower doesn‘t risk me missing an obvious pun. Nice to see the great Vietnamese Cannon Carpet is still holding strong.
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5

The French finally have Riflemen, or rather their Rifleman replacement, the Imperial Guard. IIRC, they‘re a stronger and more expensive Rifleman which gets Great Generals I. Nothing too insane, but it could definitely prove to be a boon. Also, note the apparent Irishness of the Isles, as well as the banished British fleet...
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6

Remember, I‘m about in the dark as you are about this reality (yet to meet Bizarro Senshi, either), but it seems to me Japan has been doing something combat-related. Has a war broken out?
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7

Lodz seems to be under relatively secure Spartan control, but Sweden has a more technologically advanced army (lancers and rifles, oh my!). Could the tides turn for either of these two powerhouses? Maybe. Who knows?
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08

Quite a few cities in the Isles are still Irish, but the Icelandic force is huge and the Irish one is tiny. This does not bode well for Malachy. Also, take a look at that French settler there! Are they hoping one of the cities will be razed or something?
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09

Semiramis (Babylon‘s #3 agent IMO, Pashgalderamesh is a cool dude) gives us some extra French info, with a plot against Snoreway! With a less advanced navy and not much of a border to send it through, I don‘t think he can really do much.
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10

Warsaw falls into Spartan hands, but Sweden has a much better position in the area. They‘ll probably take it back.
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11

A sole Kimberley scout stands on the offskirts of Atilla‘s Court, witnessing the carnage in front of him. At least, I assume there‘s carnage. There are units in other civs‘ borders which have taken damage. That‘s usually a good sign.
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12

The World Fair is completed, and hosted in the Sibir ice flats! They have also apparently created a groundbreaking invention, as have Yakutia, Finland, Mexico, the Boers, Vietnam, Texas, Chile, Afghanistan,
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13

Mongolia, Iceland, Hawaii, Korea, Sweden, Morocco, Portugal, Sparta, Ethiopia,
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14

The Maori, the Inca, Canada, Armenia, France and Indonesia! Christ! Either the Cylinder was a hellhole beforehand, or we‘ve just had the craziest burst of technological advancement ever! How could they ALL have made something groundbreaking?! The Champa showed up, but their invention apparently wasn‘t ‘groundbreaking‘ enough. What did they bring? A sugar cube?
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15

The Chilean settlement of Iquique, as well as an Escuadra Nacional. I swear, those things get everywhere.
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16

See, this is where the Escuadra Nacional SHOULD be, rather than dicking about in Antarctica! Buenos Aires is still in Chilean control, but Argentina seems to have fortified their defences quite well. Might be hard for either Chile or Brazil to advance.
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17

The Mayans are still sporting LONGSWORDSMEN. If anyone in the area put up a real offensive, they‘d probably take a city. This includes the Maori.
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18

The Canadians (and maybe Texas as well, but it seems mainly Canada) have New York down to zero, but nobody has a single melee unit in the area. Good job.
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19

Canada seems to be having the exact same problem with Itazipcho, but this time they have considerably less of an excuse. At least they might be able to get a Privateer in...
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20

Derry is now Icelandic, and the Irish barely have an army around their capital. It seems the Isles shall become frozen over... Icy Isles is still an atrocious name... Also, the French Settler is still looking for a spot in Ireland...
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21

Tabriz is in the yellow. Using my amazing observational skills (Just call me Sherlock Denshi), I sense that in this universe Mongolia and China are at war! Genghis seems to only have Ranged Units in the area, though. Or in general.
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22

Nottingham falls to Iceland, leaving only three Irish cities. FUN FACT: There are more French settlers on this slide than there are Irish melee units.
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23

There‘s a large variety of boats on this slide, and I don‘t have any clue who‘s at war with who. The Maori are edging closest, though, so hopefully we‘ll get a transcontinental city capture.
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24

Itazipcho is Canadian, but New York is STILL at zero. Luckily(?), a Canadian rifleman has finally made its way into American territory. Could this be when cities start to flip?
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25

The Ethiopians have the Mehal Sefari, an excellent unit when defending and still better than the Rifleman when attacking. I don‘t think the Ayyubids are at war due to the lack of damage done, but if they were Baalbek would be basically doomed.
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26

Morelia is grabbed by the Sibir, who are also sending bands of units into the realm of the Timurids. They might need to send some bands towards their new holding, as well, or else it will fall back to the Soviets.
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27

If the Sri Lankans and Mughals are still at war, they seem to have basically neutralised each other. Burma has Isoroku Yamamoto on their side, but I think I‘ve done a joke about a WWII-era Japanese military man DEFENDING South East Asia already.
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28

Dublin falls to Iceland, to be shortly followed by Canterbury and London. Probably. FUN FACT: Again, the French Settler Army takes up more space than the Irish one.
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29

Em wisely flees Dublin (secret facility under Ireland CONFIRMED) as Canada remains in control of their western holdings, despite the Blackfoot understanding how melee units work. Can‘t help but notice that Canada has garrisoned a certain artillery ;) ;) ;)
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30

Not much change on the Argentine front. For a second I thought Bernardo had pulled out. But no, it was the other white-star-on-dark-blue-background civ. Easy mistake to make?
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31

More Canadian forces approach the very pleasant-looking American capital. Could this be the beginning of the end for Lincoln?
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32

Wham Bam! Uxmal falls to the Maori of all people, which I believe is the furthest city capture from the starting position? Might be wrong, who knows? Anyway, it‘s still really cool. You know what they say about the Maori: Anywhere else, they would be a superpower. This could be that anywhere else. But that‘s an extremely optimistic view.
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33

Outraged at the premise of the Maori actually doing something of note, Sejong declares war. Personally, I don‘t believe much will come of it.
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34

Jandamarra also declares war on the Maori, ending any possible anti-Australia alliance in the area. Then again, knowing what Jandamarra was like IRL...
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35

When I saw South Africa and a DOW notification, I got slightly excited. We all just got TPANGSED! Still, this does suggest Meiji considers himself stronger than Shaka, and Meiji is pretty pathetic.
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36

Washington is basically dead; it‘ll probably flip to Canada at least once. At the same time, though, the American military presence means it‘ll probably just flip back.
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37

Champa declares war on Sri Lanka, but their entire navy is on the wrong side of the archipelago. This gives Sri Lanka a chance to charge at, say, Lam Ap Pho. Great military tactics, Che. Good job.
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38

Oh boy! We got double bluffed! The Boers finally declare on the Zulus, and look to debilitate their forces pretty quickly.
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39

The Boer navy already surround the offshore Zulu territories. All two of them.
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40

Argentina adopts Order, putting them against much of the world thanks to Australia‘s crazy tourism. Brazil and Chile still haven‘t done much. Are they even at war?
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41

Brazil immediately follows up with Autocracy, increasing the tension in the area even more. Well, hopefully.
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42

New York falls to Texas, because they TOTALLY helped Canada take it down to nothing. Eh, Canada deserves it for only having ranged units.
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43

Leonidas completes Big Ben. I initially thought this wasn‘t a very Spartan act, but I thought for a moment and the name reeks of Sparta. It even has 'Big' in it! Come on, people, back me up on this! FUN FACT: This is the second slide in a row in which I‘ve restrained myself from referencing a 1970‘s-era song. See if you can guess what they are ;)
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44

Afghanistan declares war on Sri Lanka. Despite Afghanistan generally doing pretty well, I doubt much will come of this. The border‘s too small.
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45

Morelia is back in Soviet territory, but Tus, a superior city probably, seems primed to fall to the Siberians. Only two Timur melee units near the city as well, giving the Sibir forces a chance to get over there before the city can be retaken.
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46

Itazipcho is leapt upon by Crowfoot. With no Canadian forces nearby, it may stay in his clutches. Not that Crowfoot is really a villain at all...
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47

Ondini is first to fall to the Boers, and Nongoma doesn‘t seem to far behind. From there, it‘s only a short sail to the capital.
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48

Parkesy declares war on Korea, and already has a Digger on the peninsula. Still, Australia‘s main asset is their navy, and Korea‘s ironclads and turtles could prove to be an uphill battle.
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49

See? Yet another Escuadra Nacional far from home- wait no. Nonononononono you have got to be kidding me! No way! It won‘t happen!
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50

Jandamarra‘s DOW might not have been the best idea after all, as Maori ships surround his outposts...
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51

As I predicted, the Sri Lankan navy rushes into Champa lands before they can really do much. Despite Sri Lanka‘s basically outdated navy, they have the potential to make some gains here. Well, A gain.
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52

Yep, Iceland is doomed. I don‘t even NEED to narrate these ones any more. The French Settler Squadron now outnumber the actual Irish defence force.
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53

Armenia has frigates in the little lake, while Merv takes damage and Tus doesn‘t. Much more crucially, however, the Legion has gotten out of their boats for a moment! Philistines! How dare they!
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54

Tabriz has probably been dead for years now. Mongolia suffers from what I‘ve recently deemed Canada Syndrome so hard I‘m becoming convinced Canada suffers from Mongolia syndrome...
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55

The Yakut-Inuit front is suspiciously devoid of units. It seems most of the damage is being done by the stacks of planes Tygyn has stuffed into Suntar and Isit.
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56

Nongoma falls, leaving a sole Impi on Madagascar. Something tells me Ulundi might be next...
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57

Despite their flaws, Canada manages to take Washington, for the moment anyway. Hey, at least it wasn‘t that damn Escuadra Nacional. (Looking forward to seeing the voice narrator pronounce that as many times as I‘ve typed it >:D >:D >:D)
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58

Buccaneers surround Palenque. It seems likely to fall. Not that that‘s a huge deal, the Mayans have been generally pathetic throughout the entirety of this adventure. I‘m glad to see the death of them.
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59

Persia and Israel are both still using Pikeman as front-line infantry. Good job, guys.
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60

Uh, what am I supposed to add? I don‘t know... (London Calling: Reprise)
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61

The Spartans seem to be doing an excellent job at holding Warsaw. I see why they‘d want to keep it, though. It‘s a capital and everything, but more importantly it has a badass name. Just think about it! WAR SAW!
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62

Champa adopts Autocracy, and is pushing the Sri Lankan navy away from Simhapura. Could they turn this war around? They have the resources, the DoW was just badly timed...
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63

Palenque falls to the Buccaneers, and, like that, Pacal is swept into the wind, never to rule again... His people become pirates or be shot down by their hands... Only two thousand, one hundred and twenty two years early, as well...
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64

Washington is American once more, and the Canadians seem pretty repelled. Still, the city is much smaller, and ergo crippled. Manifest Entropy?
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65

All three cities being fought over by the Sibir fall to their forces. Morelia seems likely to fall again, but all the Timurid forces in the area are ranged...
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66

Washington falls to Canada once more...
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67

...As Canterbury falls to Iceland. London is all that remains of Malachy‘s empire, and It‘s taking a lot of damage.
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68

Gajah Mada and Che Bong Nga gang up on Burma. Still, seems like the work will be mostly done by Che, considering borders and the sort. The Champa are getting themselves into multiple naval wars at the same time. Not exactly a smart plan.
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69

Mongolia adopts Autocracy, and Tabriz is STILL AT ZERO. At this rate someone like Tibet will snipe it.
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In a shocking turn of events, Korea is actually doing well against Australia. Their Turtle Ships have surrounded Kyoto, and I don‘t see much reinforcements. Well, reinforcements that can actually get there. Is that wonderful FREE tile of our glorious FREE nation posing problems for you, Parkesy?
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71

The last Irish city falls to Iceland. People sometimes prepare elegies for fallen competitors, but I believe a different kind of poetic style is more appropriate... There once was an old Irish chief, Who took London, to all‘s disbelief, ‘Twas all going great, ‘Til the Ice got irate, And sailed down to make his life quite brief. It‘s a masterpiece. A work of art.
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72

Ulundi falls to the Boers. Impi can‘t take that back. The Zulus were never exactly doing well, but now they‘re doing even worse.
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73

America and Portugal make peace, after a very uninteresting war. Still, has anyone else noticed Portugese territory is basically just a straight line through Europe? If someone took Leiria it‘d be PERFECT. Get on that, Mansur!
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74

Warsaw is Swedish once more, but the Spartans still have an army in the area. I wouldn‘t discount them quite yet...
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75

The Inuit build Prora, a resort, up in the North American ice-flats. Sounds enchanting.
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76

And, with a religion map for some reason, we bring this part to a close. I‘ve been /u/senshidenshi, and I‘d just like to say: > It‘s great to have the CBR back! > I‘m looking forward to the future! > And, as always, sorry for the narration. G‘night!

Part 33: Farewell Sweet Princes  →