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Hello and welcome back to the Civilization Battle Royale! I am /u/AQTheFanAttic, replacing our usual emergency replacement /u/senshidenshi! Anyway, I‘m already behind on schedule, and so we‘re off!
Civ Battle Royale Part 33: Farewell Sweet Princes – mk2
Abstract
A flight of angels come to singe these leaders to thy rest.
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As always, here is the map from end of last part, made by /u/Sylon, with cities added by /u/Lacsiraxariscal! For more awesome content like this, be sure to check out /r/civbattleroyale!
Make sure you check this one out in full size.
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Another map - this time by /u/kingPhilip4! This one showcases all of the relevant wars currently happening as of this part.
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A squadron of Maori ships have taken the Kimberley colony of Wulungarra to half health. Will ten ships be enough? Well, knowing the AI incompetence at naval warfare, it‘s going to be close.
Also, in case you haven‘t noticed (how could you, we have a War Room and everything), Sparta and Sweden have made peace. Europe hasn‘t been in peace for a while now. Which is good, because peace is boring, as we all know.
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It seems that the Kimberley navy have intercepted the Maori reinforcements on their way to Wulungarra. At least I assume they‘re reinforcements; even the AI wouldn‘t be so stupid to launch an attack into a core of another nation with six ships... Right?
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Lincoln is desperately trying to retake his capital from the evil Canadians. Then again, Canada isn‘t really attacking the Union either, so I guess that‘s not too bad. Meanwhile, Bernardo O‘Higgins (Chile) has sent another one of his Escuadra Nacionals in hopes of sniping the capital. Good luck with that.
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The Boers take Bulawayo and have dropped another city to red. We all knew that the Zulus would be crushed, but I at least am surprised how quickly the white men are ending them.
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The United State of America takes Washington back.
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And loses it again. Meanwhile, we can see the Chile in its natural habitat. It is now stalking its prey, waiting for the right moment to go for the kill. But it can‘t.
Because it‘s an AI.
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Texas has sent an 'invasion force' to the lands of the God Damn Indians. Note to Sam Houston: Send more than five units if the aim is to do actual damage. Although to be fair, Sitting Bull is planning to repel said force with a single pikeman. What will come out of this interesting and totally really important skirmish that will determine the future of America?
SPOILER: Absolutely god damn nothing.
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Vasco da Gama, tired of the shenanigans of Maria the Lazy, went on an expedition. However, he took a wrong turn in Lisbon, and ended up in the court of Timur. He was then put on a boat and sent on a suicide mission to the former Timurid city of Merv. Unfortunately for da Gama, he had never fired a cannon in his life. Or steered a boat.
Poor Guy.
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The Iron Mao has made peace with the filthy Tibetans, feeling confident in being safe from the Mongolians as they don‘t have a melee unit.
But he was wrong.
A lone musket was knocking on Tabriz‘ door. Will he take it?
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Wulungarra is down to red, but so is the Maori navy squadron. This one‘s going to be close.
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Morelia flips once again. Instead of defending against Kuchum, Stalin is trying to take Yervantashat. This right here is what they call ingenuity, ladies and gentlemen.
Also da Gama is dying. Press F to pay respects.
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They did it! Mongolia took Tabriz! China is reduced to just Shanghai. They‘ll stay alive for a while though, as the next closest Mongolian melee unit is at Beshbalik. Genghis Khan really needs to step up his musket game.
Of note: Ironically, China has zero melee units.
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Take a good look, my friends. This is the last shot of the Zulus. I don‘t think that‘s a surprise, at this point.
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Oh my god! The Kimberley Empire Strikes Back!
...with a caravel, privateer and galleasses. Amazing. They‘re probably manned by the scum of the Kimberley society, because this is pure suicide.
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It‘s time for the Colono War 2.0. Isn‘t this exciting? Frankly, I‘m not excited. At all.
Taking bets on how many millennia this one will last. I‘d say three.
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Man, it‘s been a while since we got one of these, hasn‘t it?
Ethiopia and Morocco make peace, but not without Morocco giving Ethiopia their hard-earned Ashanti colony of Mampong. I love it when these happen. I really do.
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This is what the Timurids have become. They have like ten military units and three cities and they‘re against Sibir, one of the most powerful nations in the world. I‘m going to be really drastic and say that they‘re dead. Call me crazy.
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You know who are dead though? The Zulus.
They were pretty much dead from the start given their TSL and even forward settled by the Boers early on. They almost managed to escape the box they were trapped in, but in this game, almost isn‘t enough. Ultimately, they suffered the same fate they did in Mk I: Wrecked by the Boers. At least you tried Shaka.
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'WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?!' screamed Elizabeth, pushing the trebuchet through the Carthaginian coast. Alla Rakha had been playing his bongos for decades now, and the former Queen of England was sick of it. Too bad the only weapon they had was the trebuchet, which was way too noisy to use as an assassination weapon.
TL;DR Here‘s the English Remnants.
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The mystery has been solved, everyone. This is why the Mughals are boring: Akbar went to Sweden! It all makes sense now! We did it guys!
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Nishapur is under attack; from what though, I am not certain. Meanwhile, Sibir forces are looming on the Timur capital. F.
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Wow! Korea actually managed to take Kyoto! That‘s pretty impressive even if the Viet border gore is really helping them. Good job Sejong.
Border gore - Also know colloquially as a ‘Freedom Tile‘
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The Champa have found out about Akbar‘s absence and decide to capitalize on it. Akbar‘s slow niece has taken control in the Mughal nation, and retaliate by declaring war on Argentina. Would somebody replace this guy please?
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Meanwhile in the Sri Lanka - Champa war, the Pirates of the Far East make some gains and take Simhapura. Sri Lanka‘s navy is all but gone as well. Ramkhanghanghang should make peace ASAP or they might have a bad time.
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Meanwhile in the Middle East, Arabia continues their centuries-old tradition of sending their military into the Red Sea. The reasons of this are still unknown to this day.
Fun fact: The Ayyyyyubids have a longswordsman defending Baalbek. Somebody put these chumps out of their misery please?
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Feeling threatened by the Champa, Akbar‘s retarded niece makes peace with Sri Lanka. I didn‘t even know they were still at war. Oh well.
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The Texans decide they‘ve played with the Yankee scum for long enough and make peace. America might actually survive this. Also Chile has sent reinforcements to their Backdoor Sniper Squad.
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Australia retakes Kyoto. They‘ve even made open borders with Vietnam, meaning that they can attack the Korean navy and even the core. This might be the end of the Korean joyride.
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And thus it falls. Samarqand is Sibir. Nishapur is still taking damage. Kuchum Khan is bringing more and more units to the front. It looks like Timur‘s days are numbered.
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Holy crap Sejong! They‘ve taken Kyoto AGAIN! Although, the Wobbegong Armada‘s military presence is now much higher than Korea‘s. They won‘t keep the city for long.
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And thus ends the skirmish of Wulungarra. The Maori offensive has been decimated. Although, the city has lost almost half of its population. Probably due to starving.
That was... Underwhelming.
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Here‘s a shot of the big and scary Iceland along with the latest World Congress proposals, Embargo Vietnam and Historical Landmarks!
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The Arctic Stalemate ends with no cities other than the Yakutian Sun-31 flipped! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO DETERMINE THE FUTURE OF THE WORLD, DAMMIT!
Strangely, I don‘t think the Yakutians have the ability to care less.
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An update from Oceania, where an invasion has been launched against Burma! I think! There‘s so many ships under different flags I don‘t know who‘s attacking what.
What I do know however, is that there are three triremes in this slide. I mean come on, it‘s 20 BC!
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I was right in not getting excited... How on Earth can two nations make a war this boring? Hell, the Inca - Burma war will probably see more action than this!
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The Buccs have entered the Modern Era and that‘s a really scary navy.
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The Tims are reduced to one city. Desperately, they‘re sending a trebuchet and their finest engineer on exile, so that their culture could be preserved.
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Check out the uppermost message. I wonder who it is? I‘d love it if it was Iceland; that would be suicide.
But there‘s always the chance that nothing will happen. Curse Napoleon‘s fickle heart.
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Well, we now know who it was: It was Texas. I stand corrected. This war will surely prove interesting, as both nations have pretty shitty navies. Also there‘s a Buccaneer or two in the way.
Thanks for this, AI.
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Sparta grew tired of Maria being alive and declares war! Let the Battle for Rome commence! It also seems that Sparta and France share open borders, so there‘s that too. Here‘s hoping for a bloody war.
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Having no land to improve, the Hunnic workers have gone on a Mediterranean holiday. Activities include:
-drinking rum with the pirates that are passing by
-swimming
-more swimming
-swimming with elephants
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The Timurids recapture Herat! What a valiant battle! With a Timurid writer, musican and artist in tow, in a few decades this will surely be written down as one of the greatest Korean Broadway Musicals of mankind.
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The Yakuts strive for global relevancy as they kind of launch an invasion on Hiroshima. The success of said mission could be argued upon.
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Here we go. The last stand of Mao. May he die as he has been living.
Gloriously.
Also the Mongols brought in a melee unit this time, even though if it‘s not quite on the front lines.
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It‘s on! The Buccaneers war once again! This time they‘re voluntarily fighting a two-front war against their neighbour Texas and old enemy in Europe, Portugal! This is actually going to be interesting. My prediction is that the map will be a lot more black when this is over.
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A look at the Eastern front, with Morgan having a slight advantage and a stolen Nau. Will he manage to take Leiria? That remains to be seen.
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The Yakuts try to not be boring as they kind of launch an invasion on Hiroshima. The success of said mission could be argued upon.
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The Inuit have planes and carriers now. If only they had them ten turns ago, something might‘ve come out of the battle in Kamchatka...
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Another shot from Oceania, with Sri Lanka, Indonesia and the Champa having a threesome skirmish in the middle of the ocean just for the hell of it. I wonder how the AIs think they‘re benefitting from this.
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Lincoln flips Washington. Again. But this time, it might stay that way as Lester doesn‘t have any melee units on the front.
‘Murica has survived.
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Nishapur is down to yellow. Looks like we have another double elimination this part. Siberia is strong.
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Norway and Ethiopia go to war, giving us a good excuse to check out Snoreway‘s core! They don‘t really have that big of an army. A war against, say, Sweden might be bad.
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Oh come on, Napoleon. These poor guys can‘t even have a holiday in peace? They already killed themselves by Kekkonen, I think they‘ve experienced enough already.
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How the tables have turned. If Genghis produced some melee units, a war against Yakutia could do some damage. Although we all know that won‘t happen. Because why would Mongolia want to expand and eliminate one of their biggest threats?
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Not much has happened in this war during the one turn it has been ongoing.
Yes, one turn. I just checked.
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The Canadians are now also besieging Ipoksimaik. That‘s nice.
But wait...
What‘s that in the corner?
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IT‘S HAPPENING! Sweden has declared war on Norway! I‘m sure many have been looking forward to this.
But you know what would be even better?
Sweden vs Finland.
Ahh, who cares - this is exciting!
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What‘s new on the Eastern Oceanian front? Not much, really. Just some light skirmishing between our two belligerents1
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The Champa are making yet another assault on Sri Lanka and this time the target is Sri Racha Kotte or something like that!
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Another 'attack' from the Maori. Shouldn‘t really be a problem for the Aboriginals.
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And so ends the tale of Timur and his people.
They had a fairly difficult starting position, but they still managed to do fairly well at times. However, there was one problem: Sibir. Timur could never surpass his rival Khan, and ultimately, Kuchum became his downfall. Now, just three Khans remain.
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The Trung Sisters refound their lust for blood and launched an attack on Tibet! Xigaze is already down to yellow and looks poised to fall.
Meanwhile, Shanghai is still on full health.
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The Boer hegemony after the conquer of the Zulu lands. Their army is thin, but advanced; they even have destroyers. Can they be stopped anymore? It remains to be seen.
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Morgan‘s assault on Leiria has begun, but will they make the most of it? Maria has increased her naval presence on the area, now the two are even.
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You know a war is somewhat stagnant when you‘re more interested in the Inuit submarine than Yakutia‘s invasion of Hiroshima.
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This is more interesting. Sweden has chosen Stavanger as their first target, and they‘re so confident in their victory, they‘ve brought a Great Musician and some workers on the front. I suppose Sweden forgot that the Hakkapeliittas (who historically were Finns in the Swedish army) only benefit from Great GENERALS.
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Obligatory view of Iceland and a Canadian trireme. Wut.
Also there are five French settlers in the shot.
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Here‘s a shot of the Kimberley. But what‘s this? Henry Parkes has declared war? HENRY PARKES HAS DECLARED WAR ON THE- oh wait, that was just Burma. Damn you TPang.
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And we end this part with a shot of the Korea-Aussie war, where Sejong might flip Kyoto again. I guess no religion map this time?
I‘ve been /u/AQTheFanAttic and I‘m sorry for the delay. See you on /r/civbattleroyale, everyone!