Part 42: Turn Back The Glacier!

1

Welcome to another edition of the Civ Battle Royale, Mark II, this time with more machine guns! When we left off the Kimberley were holding on for dear life while the unlikely alliance of Canada and Texas held off the Frozen Chosen. I am your narrator, /u/an_actual_potato, creator of the Power Rankings and all kinds of other shite that is vaguely sportsy! This is my first time narrating for this, so I am thrilled to be here! Poster Image by the amazing /u/Sittingonchairs1

2

Here’s the map, which has rapidly changed in the last few parts. The big boys are immediately apparent here, Sibir, Inuit, Boers, Vietnam, and Australia. This can all change very quickly though, so hang on! To prove my point, check out this animated gif which features the border progressions of all the civs so far by /u/a_esbech - https://www.reddit.com/r/civbattleroyale/comments/49sfrk/

3

The Boers unsurprisingly are still on top! To answer the question posed in this slide - the reason Australia has nearly the same amount of production is due to their vast Land Area (even if it is composed of a bajillion different islands and terrible Arctic holiday destinations). Check out the full Power Rankings by our team of experts here: https://imgur.com/a/9Gcni/layout/horizontal/

4

We start by returning to the Oceanic War, where the Grave Diggers march deeper into Kimberly territory, nearly unhindered at this point. If the diggers charge into the center they could be in a nasty situation, sustaining fire from all sides. So far, however, Parkes has been smarter than this, working the coastal rim from the outsides in, like eating the crusts off a grilled cheese. While it’s a little late in the war for the Kimberley to get overly concerned about any one particular city, the damage to Windjana has to be concerning. At 20, it is the largest remaining population center and an important base of military output.

5

The Maori make peace with the Texans and HOLY CRAP they gave away Laredo! The Texans have bigger problems, however, with the great glacier exceeding its historical southern extent and reaching down towards the Gulf. The Texans, in an act that must feel rather uncomfortable for them, had better pray to sweet Lester that he can stem the tide and busy the Whites in the north.

6

Armenia and the Soviets make peace, which to many may be surprising, as their having been at war ceased being relevant many parts ago. Whenever this war was declared the Soviets were likely the great red menace, bearing down over the Caucus-bound Armenians. Times have changed greatly, though, and now the Armenians are the better civ. Stick that in your gulag and smoke it, Stalin! Also, hey look, Finnish hexes that aren’t covered in paratroopers! Maybe it’s a nature preserve.

7

The Whites close in on Houston, Philly, and NYC, pressing the Texans closer to the brink and opening up a second front against the exposed, largely unguarded Canadian underbelly. The Inuit lack the units to truly capitalize on two fronts, but if they are shot on units, the Canadians are downright out. This part of the empire has almost no protection.

08

In the north, however, Canada makes new headway with their troops once again reaching the chilly waters of the Hudson Bay. In other news, other civs find themselves ‘helpful’ in the war, with the Mughals (ever the warriors) jumping in against the Inuit and Carthage getting in on the act against Canada. Elsewhere, the Kimberly capital flips some more. Dark times, Jandamara, dark times.

09

The Swedish offensive has ended, and now the invasion force is on its heels, defending captured land. Leonidas should be cautious here, though, as going on the counteroffensive could quickly level the forces they have raised which are still vastly outclassed. The World Congress, which seems to play much more of a bit role than in the previous BR, embargoes Sparta. That’s okay, they probably didn’t think much of trade anyway.

10

Ishtar dutifully reports an Ice Walker plot against the Moroccans that is an ocean away from relevance. Little does the junior agent realize he’s being distracted from bigger plots. In his icy lair Ekeuhnick could be heard rubbing his hands together saying ‘These men are pawwwwwwwwwwwns’.

11

HUGE news, as Lester peaces out against the Inuit, having made back enough ground to save face. In the end the war devastated Canada, losing them at least a half dozen cities and doing damage to several core settlements (as well as the total loss of Charlottetown). Still, though, the reds should count their lucky stars, as it could have been far worse. They also gave away Hamilton in the treaty, which quite likely may have been the result of a clerical error, as the city is of nearly no relevance.

12

Sam Houston’s northern prayers are unheeded, as he is now left to fight the great icy menace on his own. With outdated units and nearly no land units things look bleak. Extremely bleak. They can, however, make the sledding (heh) tough for the Boreal Bros around the Caribbean, as his enormous fleet of privateers will certainly keep the flippage going for some time.

13

Ethiopia has quietly carpeted up, in their own modest way, maybe a safeguard against the might Boers. It wouldn’t do much more than annoy them for a couple turns while they steamrolled the nation, but It’s the least they can do. Also of note, they’ve acquired their UU, the Mehal Sefari who gain a combat advantage against bigger civs like, say, the Boers.

14

The Mughals inexplicably continue to hold out against superior civs despite outdated units and poor command. Thank the narrow attack lanes and rugged terrain. Burma, meanwhile, has exhausted themselves in their back-patting for their first and only city capture. They now turn their sites on Lam Ap Pho, a nearly undefended Vietnamese outpost. They look to have the muscle required to take it.

15

Cause for optimism against the white man? Probably not, but right at the moment the Kimberley have regained some ground, splitting the Australians into two attack forces instead of one nightmarish blob of power. A couple Inuit subs lurk nearby, perhaps relaying notes on how to fight wars good back to the homeland.

16

Oh hey, South America! Things have been fun here lately, as the great python that is Brazil wraps itself about the Chileans. So far Chile has held out very well, and the Brazilian interior is surprisingly sparse of units. Nearby the Inca capture back their coastal settlements, fighting tenaciously against greater powers. Much further away Mirwais (Afghan) jumps in against Burma, hoping to score some cheap gains. Stalin joins as well, hoping to see if Arrack is much like Vodka. It’s not.

17

Speaking of liquor, Morgan’s rum-powered coastal dominance continues, with the stench of hungover sailors spreading to the once-Brazilian outposts of Manaus and Belo Horizonte. There are no melee units in site, meaning the pirate party may rage on here for time untold.

18

Mirwais, surprisingly, has some pieces in place to make headway against the Burmese. Probably best not to bet on it, as his war record is abysmal, but it’s the most we’ve seen from the Afghans in many parts.

19

Paratroopers land throughout the hills and fields of east China. The once pesky war with Korea is now becoming a serious problem for the Vietnamese who are down three cities with very few units in the area to defend.

20

Mongolia, occupying very accurate borders, have filled them fit to burst with units…outdated units. They could probably take China out, though they’ve tried and failed before thanks to the unyielding strength of Iron Mao, but that’s about all they can do. Every neighbor Mongolia has is far more powerful and advanced. Their window has likely closed, which maybe explains why a sizeable contingent of advanced Boer forces have camped out here….huh.

21

Ethiopia has truly committed to the carpet. It’s probably a bit late for them to rally, but it’s an impressive force compared to all but one of their neighbors.

22

Here we see interior Europe, a surprisingly peaceful place occupied by the once fearsome Icelanders and the French, who are quite busy stuffing themselves with cheese and wine. If war came here the Icelanders would be heavily favored.

23

A pair of lonely, captured Brazilian Escuadra Nacional wander the south Atlantic, pondering their purpose after having flipped flags. Perhaps this is emblematic of the victor of the naval battle off of South America? Of note: Afghanistan has battleships!

24

Sparta goes on the offensive now, pushing back against the waiting Swedish armies. The lions of the north bring units down, looking to reinforce the region and rebuff the advance. Just about everyone looks vulnerable to the Finnish doom carpet in the upper right. The civ has clearly entered the carpet protocol, a reliable indicator of who‘s who in the closing stages of the game. With XCOM dominance out the window, however, the behavior may be slightly less key.

25

Sibir, well aware of the carpet, has moved plenty of force to their border. It’s a fearsome army, but one can’t help but notice that their interior is a little depopulated. We’ll see if their behavior changes and the civ doubles down on filling its territory with units, but at this moment it may be a cause for concern.

26

Houston has fallen and El Paso and Philly look to be next in line. Next will come the far taller order of taking, and holding, the coastal settlements. The Texas Rangers, hopefully not the baseball team, stand next to Gonzales ready to face the cold winds.

27

Windjana and other coastal cities are on the brink as the Grave Diggers move in for the kill. Worth noting is the relative light population loss that Windjana saw changing hands, 20 to 15. That’s a small drop and one that is indicative of Australia’s cultural power. It’s getting hard to find things that are working in the Kimberley‘s favor, at this point.

28

Burma hangs on against the superior Sri Lankans while Vietnam and Burma give each other shitty looks. Of real importance on this slide is Ethiopia’s DoW on Carthage. That’s no defensive carpet, this is an offensive!

29

With crossbows and rifles Hannibal looks scarcely better prepared for this war than the Ayyubids did when the shoe was on the other foot. Already Ethiopian units pour into Carthaginian holdings, taking advantage of open borders with the Ayyubids, who have found a way to have the last laugh.

30

Brazil has finally gotten down to business and committed to the war with Chile, taking a slew of cities. Very few Chilean units appear poised to do much about it. Like the Texans before them, the Chileans may have to pray to their northern betters to take the pressure off.

31

Sparta should have listened. The counteroffensive has failed spectacularly and a revitalized Swedish army now bears down upon Cumae and Ohrid. The Spartan core now looks a lot more thinly defended than it did a half dozen turns ago. An Indonesian scout, with shit all else to do, watches in relative amusement.

32

A peek inside Chongqing shows how poor the situation is for Vietnam. The air force there, the best hope for defending the Chinese holdings, is comprised of terribly outdated units against a very advanced Korean military. If the Trung Sisters drew their best forces away from the hapless Burmese and put them to work against Sejong then this would be a fairer fight, but for now they continue to stumble on, surprisingly incompetent.

33

Burma doubles it historical captures in just one war, moving all the way up to TWO with the fall of Lam AP Pho! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BURMAS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BURMAS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BURMAS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BURMAS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

34

The first bombs fall on Dallas as Philly and El Paso ice over. Texas is truly in the darkest timeline, as their best hope now is to come out of the war alive. The Inuit, however, have now moved to a point of unquestionable continental dominance, joining the elite club currently occupied only by the Boers.

35

Make that three! With a peace agreement that gives the Aussies whole, and I mean whole, control over Australia they now join the Inuit and Boers in holding supremacy over their continent. They, in fact, are the first to entirely hold any continent, though it of course helped that it was just the two of them. The costs? The loss of the Philippines and the destruction of the Wobbegong fleet. Australia, now with an immensely productive core, can of course rebuild a bigger and better Wobbegong, but it remains to be seen if they will.

36

The Kimberly, now confined to land that only a few parts ago was not theirs, simply count themselves lucky that they breathe at all.

37

Well look at that, the destruction of the Kimberley isn’t *quite* as bad as previously stated, they still hold their arctic colonies. Maybe working out of the cold will work as well for them as it has the Inuit.

38

Speak of the frosty devil! The Inuit have built an industrial complex, a tile improvement that will aide them in pumping out more helicopters, mobile SAMs, and rocket artilleries with which to better slay Texans. How many miles is it to the Alamo now?

39

Vitcos flips to Buc control as a small but capable fleet works the Incan coast. Pacha may want to consider cutting his losses here, he’s been out of this for some time. Meanwhile the Brazilian python creeps further south, with more men and munitions headed down towards the Chilean core.

40

Don’t quote me on this yet, but it looks like the Mughals inexplicably unyielding defense may finally be crumbling. The sea lane of attack appears largely open and cities are taking damage. Come on Sri Lanka, do ittttt, put them out of their mediocrity! Of aid to that end: Sri Lanka enters the Atomic Era.

41

Dallas falls and Gonzales takes damage as what remains of Texas is sliced and diced into three separate parts. Even the Caribbean navy is beginning to thin.

42

Ohrid and Cumae both fall back to the lions as the fallout from the counter-offensive continues. Gustavus Adolphus looks well prepped to push onwards, with six aircraft stationed in Tegea and a wealth of superior units.

43

Chile goes on the offensive, sending a strong force after Tiwanaku while recapturing Buenos Aires. The latter looks sure to flip, but you have to appreciate the meager forces that Chile has been able to hold out with and even make gains through.

44

Manaus joins the growing list of rum drunk former Brazilian cities while a land force goes into Colombia to take the Incans northernmost outpost. No civ has made a case for the power of naval superiority quite like Morgan, who has time and again taken on superior civs and outgained them thanks to control of the waters. The twelve aircraft he has stationed on the front certainly do not hurt his cause either, however.

45

A line of citadels string along the Inuit-Blackfoot border. Hard to tell yet if it’s a sign of things to come, but if war came it would likely be an ugly affair for the smaller civ. They have the numerical superiority in the area, at the moment, but the Inuit are wrapped about their borders on all sides like a cold noose, their struggling would only draw it tighter.

46

MIRWAIS MIGHT DO SOMETHING, BAGAN LOOKS TO FALL!

47

loljk a lone horseman swipes that dream away, capturing Bagan with no Burmese units nearby to do much about it. Of note: The Inuit have completed the Manhattan project, complementing their ample stocks of uranium. That would certainly be one way to clear out those pesky Caribbean privateers.

48

Chongqing, Beijing, and Vigan all take damage as the Korean threat approaches the point of being existential. Vietnam has the capability to repel this invasion, but the war has been horribly bungled so far. The Trung Sisters will have to bring it together quickly to avoid losing control of China.

49

Ethiopia takes Aswan as their GWI and artillery take the field against cannons and riflemen. It’s a narrow passage into the Carthaginian heartland, even with the Ayyubid open border agreement, so it may be tough for further gains to be had, but Selassie certainly has both the tech and bodies to get the job done. Norway, oddly allying with the Swedes, join in against Macho Man Ra-, uh, Leonidas while the UN debates embargoing the Boers and enacting science funding.

50

Gonzalez is brought to the brink as the now nuclear armed Inuit bear down on the crumpling Texans. The last ranger watches on, drawing his colt double action revolver as an Inuit rocket artillery rolls close. Good luck.

51

Gonzales falls, but the Last Ranger still stands, with one of the rocket artilleries, as well as much of the rest of the Inuit military, draw away. It would be a safe guess to assume they are now moving to take out NYC.

52

In the corner the party in Manaus ends, as the federales roll into town and smash all the casks of rum. The counter offensive is on. The bigger news, however, is that the Inca are out of the war with Morgan, giving over all but two cities, one of which is under siege. This represents some pretty wretched diplomacy on Pacha’s part, especially after such long and spirited defense throughout the entire game. The Bucs are now, more than ever, a continental power.

53

Vigan falls and Chongqing stares into the spidey colored abyss. Korea also opens up a naval front, dealing damage to Iloilo. Not sure how well that will work out for them, but it does provide a testament to how handily they are winning the war so far.

54

A Vietnamese privateer moves in on Indrapura, looking to finally take the city and end the Viet Cong driven nonsense. Above, Mandalay takes damage, a blow that would put Burma on life support. ノ( º _ ºノ) lower your burmas ノ( º _ ºノ) ノ( º _ ºノ) lower your burmas ノ( º _ ºノ) ノ( º _ ºノ) lower your burmas ノ( º _ ºノ) ノ( º _ ºノ) lower your burmas ノ( º _ ºノ)

55

The Arabians retake Naranja, ending a decidedly embarrassing episode in their largely uneventful history. They’ll have to work to keep it, but they should manage.

56

A grey void overtakes central Vietnamese China, perhaps a new technology to defeat the Koreans? Well, perhaps it’s working, as Chongqing and Vigan both return to the Trung Sisters’ fold. They don’t look as though they’ll stay though, as the home defense forces are still undermanned against the paratroopers raining in. Beijing, also, approaches capture. Of note: The Great Boer Expeditionary Force grows a little bigger.

57

Turns out that Inuit pullback wasn’t for NYC, which remains undamaged. The Texans attempt to capitalize though, as the Last Ranger marches on Houston. Wise? Probably not, but the Texans are nothing if not brave. Hail, gunslinger!

58

Things are looking tense along the Sibir-Finn border. It’s surprising to say, but if it came to blows I’d favor the Finns here. The sheer number of their forces is overwhelming.

59

Chile picks up Tiwanaku and looks to keep it, but elsewhere they lose ground to the Brazilians who slowly, slowwwly work their way deeper into the empire. A big factor? Brazil has the seas, fielding destroyers against outdated mast and cannon ships.

60

Indrapura falls and Mandalay is taken low, though the killing unit does not appear to be close. An anti-air gun may be enough though, and it’s within four hexes. The Inuit sub, having learned much from Australia, now watches Vietnam to up its how to make war good game.

61

Tiwanaku is back in Incan hands and an intrepid group of Hawaiians aims to keep it that way, Pach-blocking the Chileans. Brazil, meanwhile, sends a great force to swing back at the Bucs. The Brazilian forces are simply better, but on the coasts that won’t do them much good against the seemingly limitless pirate navy.

62

The offensive pays off, at least for a moment, as Ollantasmsayayambo falls. It won’t stay, but it’s enough to keep the Bucs off the offensive and let Brazillian forces do their work elsewhere, where they hold the advantage in numbers.

63

The east Chinese coast falls in one swoop, as does Beijing, as Sejong’s force grows immense. The defending force, outmanned and without units capable of retaking ground, is on its heels and in deep, deep trouble. Vietnam needs out of this war, as if they don’t hurry they may well find themselves a regional power. Also, the Maori have the bomb. It would be wise to look out for them, as they are enjoying something of a rally.

64

Remember when it looked like the Mughals may actually lose some territory? Neither do I. Any Sri Lankan offensive has dissolved, as the civ is *somehow* unable to overcome a force comprised of guys on horses, riflemen, and cannons literally strapped onto elephants. Fuckin’ how?

65

The corridor remains narrow, but Selassie is still charging into the largely empty Carthaginian interior. Air power would be of huge aid here, and the Ethiopians are sorely behind without it, but they still look to be rallying hard with this latest offensive.

66

The Icelandic air force is stacked af, as is their navy. If they actually wanted to, they could make some serious noise. They’ve been very quiet, however, since being beaten back by the Whites. Also: Hawaii would probably be a lot more competitive in this game if they simply took their units scattered about the globe and put them in one place. They seem to be everywhere, which really means they’re nowhere.

67

Population: no real surprises here other than maybe Brazil’s absence.

68

Cities: The Inuit and Aussies have really taken a commanding lead here with new captures. They don’t mean a lot right at the moment, but before long those cities will be at full strength and be enormous help to these two dominant civs.

69

And the nearly dead. The list has grown quite long.

70

Land area, which unsurprisingly conforms pretty closely with the cities list.

71

The Finnish finish first in terms of the amount of Social Policies adopted, with Burma surprisingly only 3 Policies behind. Who would have thought?

72

Catholicism may have spread to more cities, but the Jews top the list in terms of their religious diaspora.

73

And on to religion, closing out another edition of the CBR II, and an eventful one. Will the Last Ranger live to fight another day? Will the Mughals ever yield? Can anyone stop the Aussies? Will we ever be able to raise our Burmas again? Find out next time when we return on Wednesday!

Part 42: Turn Back The Glacier! – mk2

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

08

09

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

36

37

38

39

40

41

42

43

44

45

46

47

48

49

50

51

52

53

54

55

56

57

58

59

60

61

62

63

64

65

66

67

68

69

70

71

72

73