Part 47: Little Boy Blue

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Welcome, to part 47 of the /r/civ Battle Royale Mk. II! I’m /u/Capcombric, your host for this evening. When last we left off, Albany had finally fallen into Texan hands, the Maori were left in tatters by the Aussie invasion force, and the Kamchatkan missile crisis had kicked off in full swing. I’ve also done some digging around in the XML files to calculate that, with our Historic game speed, the current year should be 895 AD, in case anyone else was wondering. Amazing titlecard depicting the Brazilian and Buccaneer stalemate by /u/Naliju

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Our expert power rankers have kept the Inuit at the top of the fold for part 46. You’ve got to hand it to the White Walkers, who are currently waging a war on two fronts a continent apart against Yakutia and the Buccaneers, two other top-tier civs. That kind of reach is unmatched. If you’d like to read the rest of the rankings, you can find them right here: http://imgur.com/a/8kSW1/layout/horizontal

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Following a siege that could give Stalingrad a run for its money, the battered and worn defenders march forth from the city of A’aninin with a white flag of surrender. And yet, in this moment of glory for Benito Juárez (Mexico), there seem to be no Great Artists on the scene to capture the Mexican triumph. Meanwhile, Pedro (Brazil) decides that the world has seen enough bloodshed, making his peace with the Champa.

5

Here we see what a sad state the Maori Empire, once stretched across the vast Pacific ocean, has been reduced to. Their coastline is also looking woefully undefended, for the inevitable arrival of the Wobbegong, but even if they are able to survive Australia’s assault the Maori’s best hope is to survive by virtue of unimportance, sitting, as they do, at the juncture between much more powerful foes.

6

Albany falls! Again! The poor Albanyans, at least those few who remain, must be getting awfully tired of watching their city get shelled into oblivion from all sides. There’s likely a stock of flags for all the nearby civs in the city’s capitol building, ready to be hoisted up as soon as the next conqueror marches in. For now, though, the city is firmly in the hands of Lester B. Pearson (Canada). Now, all eyes are on Cincinnati. Will it, too, be captured by the hockey brigade, or will the Chilean backdoor squad finally make some gains? Perhaps those Icelandic privateers will roll in for the snipe? (Hint: probably not.) Also of note: it seems our hardy little submarine has gained a promotion, somehow. I wonder what we picked. TPang‘s note: Sentry III :^)

7

Gustavus Adolphus (Sweden) makes plans to renew their push into Spartan lands, in spite of the Boer “peacekeepers” barring their path to any territorial gains. They’d probably be better off putting France out of its misery, but if the French have proven one thing in this battle royale it’s their apparent diplomatic finesse, as they’ve somehow managed to avoid war with any of their much more powerful neighbors for centuries. Speaking of more powerful neighbors, the Finnish and Icelandic forces on either side of Sweden are looking mighty threatening right now, especially given the tech difference. If the Swedes want to maintain their power (and survive, for that matter) they’d do well to tech up fast.

08

To add insult to injury, the world unanimously votes to embargo the Blackfoot, in spite of their diplo bonus for liberating the Sioux. Although the terrain is likely to prevent Mexico from making further gains anytime soon, the Blackfoot are spread mighty thin these days. The Inuit, though their forces are focused elsewhere, are as menacing as ever, and even the depleted fortifications in their core could likely sweep across the remaining Blackfoot lands in a handful of turns.

09

The Mongols’ tech deficiency is showing, as they find themselves surrounded by civilizations a full era ahead of them. The sheer size of their carpet, along with a healthy dose of Boer obstructionism, would likely allow them to put up a strong defense in case of attack, but their options for expansion are severely limited, with their best bet being to force Yakutia into a three-front war. In Ottawa, the World Congress continues to agree on everything, this time banning cotton. It’s nice to see the nations of the world getting along, even as they rain lead and fire upon one another.

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By virtue of their overwhelming air superiority alone the Yakuts have held firm against the White Walker menace, retaking Isit and bringing Sendai and Wotjulum within a hare of falling. It’s important to remember, though, that these gains are only temporary. Every city on the Inuit-Yakut front is liable to flip, and as the Yakutia bravely plunge into the meat grinder that is the Ice Sheet Fleet, it’s hard to imagine them coming out on top here. Ekeuhnick (Inuit) simply has too large a force to contend with.

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And for all that work, Mexico is unable to hold on to A’aninin. If I were Benito Juárez (Mexico), I’d move a melee unit to recapture the city as quickly as possible, then peace out before the cost of this war becomes too high. The Mexican core is looking mighty thin, especially in the face of the ever-deadly Inuit. I’d also like to take this moment to appreciate just how woefully outdated the Blackfoot navy is, sporting caravels and privateers which are practically useless against Mexico’s modern ships.

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Champa traders, having inexplicably survived the long journey through Vietnamese waters, search for a land of peace and prosperity in the north, where instead they find an even bloodier war. So it goes. Along the way they pass by Korea, which is looking strong in all the wrong places. Sejong (Korea) won’t be keeping those tasty Chinese holdings for long unless he fortifies the area against Vietnamese incursion. Side note: are those Blackfoot riflemen?? Seems to me they’d be much more useful helping to stave off Mexican invasion, rather than dawdling around by Japan.

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Bundle up everyone, because it’s getting Chile in Cincinnati. Sam Houston weeps over his broken Empire, now reduced to one city by the Chilean backdoor squad. Somewhere, John Kasich is flipping through his newly acquired Spanish dictionary. In the background, we can also see A’aninin flip back into Mexican hands. TPang‘s note: For some reason I like to think that one day the people of Cincinnati woke up thinking that it was business as usual and that they were once again liberated. All the while completely oblivious to the fact that their flag has a slightly different star on a slightly different shade of blue on it.

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Here we see, in full glory, the now Mexican city of A’aninin, this time with not one, but two great artists on the scene, frantically painting the chaos of the battle. This time the city looks set to stay Mexican, due to a severe shortage of Blackfoot units. Looking seaward, the Wobbegong drifts East in search of new conquests, while the Ice Sheet Fleet in the north carpets the glacial seas of Alaska, terrifying as ever.

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Is China’s bizarrely long stability about to come to an end? The Trung sisters (Vietnam), with a military many orders of magnitude stronger than the four-tile husk of China, would like to make it so. I, for one, have faith in our great leader. With crossbow and on horseback, the iron chancellor will lead the People’s Liberation Army to victory against the interlopers!

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Once again, we see Yakutia moving nuclear weapons to the Inuit front, perhaps their best hope to clear out the heavily-armed enemy ships in the area. On the other side of the conflict, we see some missile cruisers and carriers carrying their own cargo as well. Could these, too, hold nukes? Either way, the press is having a field day with this whole “Kamchatkan Missile Crisis” bit, and ratings are through the roof. Of more immediate importance, our two combatants have swapped cities, with Yakutia seizing Sendai and the Inuit taking back Isit, though I can hardly imagine either capture holding for long.

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On Yakutia’s Western front, we see a much different kind of stalemate, one which has thus far left the region’s cities battered, but intact, a situation that may soon change. Yakutia has circumvented the difficult to navigate terrain by toting out a helicopter, capable of capturing Beryozovo if only it can make it to the city alive. The Sibir have taken a more conventional approach, dropping in paratroopers to do the deed. Just as with the helicopter, though, a lone unit may have some trouble making it to the city (in this case Amga) intact, let alone holding it. But if I had to place my bets on who gets the first capture, I’d favor Sibir. The Yakutian core is just too empty, especially if they decide to drop in more paratroopers, and with Yakutia’s planes busy staving off the Inuit in the East the Sibirian air superiority cannot be overstated.

18

Well things may have stalled in the North, but the Inuit have finally flipped their fortunes in the balmy gulf waters. The texan coast has been recaptured and Floridarr is looking mighty enticing, with only a single Bucc ship in sight. Now that the war with Brazil is over Henry Morgan (Buccaneers) will be able to redirect his navy to melt the glacier, but as they make their rum-fueled dash to this new front we may see a city or two flip, including Morgan’s mainland holdings. For now, the Buccaneers are firmly on the defensive.

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Ready your F keys boys, this one is going to be short and sweet. Topkek (Finland) has again decided to make use of his exclave brigade, this time bullying the recently crippled Mughal empire. With only a handful of Mughal units left to defend their three remaining cities, the Finns could very well be about to escort Akbar (Mughals) into his long-awaited place at the loser’s lounge. More importantly, this Finnish success could pave the way for further distant conquests by empires with too many units for their borders. (coughBoerscough) Also of note: Crowfoot (the Blackfoot) once again makes me eat my words, as A’aninin flips back again in the background. In the Battle Royale, always bet on another flip.

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The Trung sisters (Vietnam) continue to look ahead, rather than wallowing over their crushing defeat at the hands of Sejong (Korea) and his efficiency-armada, plotting to strike against the Hawaiians. This is a wise move if they want to keep up with Australia, and Hawaii’s antiquated wooden fleet would likely crumble before their far more advanced force, leaving all those juicy, high pop cities ripe for the taking. Only time will tell if the AI decides to act on this stroke of strategic competency.

21

And here we see, A’aninin has fallen once more, this time back into the hands of Crowfoot (The Blackfoot). Artists surrounding the city frantically wipe away their portrayals of glory and conquest, wiring back to Ciudad Juárez for an emergency shipment of new erasers before the next capture. I have to admit that the Blackfoot have played this battle in the hills very well, making up for their less advanced army by using the terrain to their advantage, and repelling the Mexican forces from the city time and time again. I can’t say who will hold the city when all is said and done, but for both sides the cost has been immense.

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AT LAST! PEACE IN OUR TIME! The bloody war between Carthage and Vietnam, which everyone was definitely paying close attention to, has ended at long last! Meanwhile the Buccaneers have shored up their defenses at Petit-Goave and, with a lonely Great Admiral as their harbinger, seem ready to move back into the offensive against the White Walker army as it pours confusedly into the Gulf. Unless, of course, Canada decides to take a page out of the Boer playbook and clog the seas with maple syrup.

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A Kimberley muffin-seller wanders the outback, remembering what once was, and all that could have been. The dream of a great Aboriginal Empire, squashed beneath Henry Parkes’ (Australia) all-consuming ambition. On the coastlines we see the beginnings of a carpet to rival that of Paul Kruger (Boers), and a somewhat replenished Wobbegong.

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And to complement that nice modern fleet we just saw… wooden ships. Lots and lots of wooden ships. Seriously Henry Parkes, loosen those purse-strings and make some upgrades! Naval quality aside, that’s still a rather formidable navy, and the location really shows Austria’s massive reach across the Pacific thanks to the Maori war. This scope is likely to come in handy as more war inevitably breaks out in South America, allowing Australia the potential of an overseas colony. (Oh, the irony.)

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That colony may come a little sooner than expected. With the bulk of the Maori forces bottled up in the Gulf of Mexico, there’s virtually nothing stopping Australia from seizing Uxmal. The city may flip a time or two, but the only way the Maori could hope to keep it is through a truly boneheaded peace deal by Parkes. (Australia)

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My my, what have we here? Another missile crisis, mayhaps? At the very least, it explains Sejong’s (Korea) lack of army presence in China. He could achieve far greater unit clearance with those nukes than by any conventional means, and possibly even cripple Vietnam’s power for good. Not to jump the gun, but I think we may see this conflict flare back up with Korea as the aggressor once more, contrary to recent speculation.

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Juárez no! All that, for nothing? As the Mexican contingent is forced into a dejected march out of A’aninin, the resident artists hurling their paintbrushes to the ground in anger and disgrace, one must wonder: what is all this for? Frustration aside, this peace deal is in the best interests of both nations. It gives time for the Blackfoot to modernize and the Mexicans to rebuild, pursuits that will be much needed if -- no, when they must band together and repel the glacial advance. But when fighting the winter itself, time is the enemy, and the best these lesser civs can hope is to put up a good fight when the time comes.

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Uxmal falls and the race to remove the Maori from the game begins on all sides of Laredo, their final city. Ready your F keys, this isn’t going to be pretty.

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The last legion steels itself for battle as Sejong (Korea) prepares to end the Roman Emperor’s days on this earth. There’s only so much bronze and iron can do against armored tank and nuclear fire, but you have to respect their discipline. After all, it’s tough being a failed state, drifting on a little barge in the Mediterranean.

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Still no movement on the Sibirian-Yakut front, but Tygyn Darkhan (Yakutia) is on the verge of seizing Beryozovo from the enemy with his hardy little helicopter gunship. This capture would be huge, with the Sibir stubbornly stowing seven aircraft in the at-risk city, and even if the city flipped again it would be a huge win for the Yakuts. A small detachment of the Finnish Globetrotters watch the events unfold.

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Speaking of the Globetrotters, it looks like they’ve taken Gaur! The Mughals are primed to recapture the city in short order, but it makes little difference now. Globetrotter forces have flooded into the sparsely garrisoned Mughal lands in droves, and with no allies in this war the Mughals have been backed into a corner. This strategy of small, scattered conquests is serving Kekkonen well, and as he grows ever closer to encirclement of the Sibirians he may soon find a much bigger fish caught in his net. Still, I wish he’d go ahead and put the Soviets out of their misery. They’re easy prey, and that godawful border hurts to look at.

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Te Rauparaha holds (Maori) holds, for now, retaking Uxmal and maintaining his last stronghold in Central America. If you ask me the Maori were done for from the start of this war, but no one can say they haven’t gone down fighting. And who knows? As preoccupied as the Buccs are, Laredo may hold.

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The Party Prophet, last among the Ayyyyubids, dwindles for a moment in Cairo, perhaps wondering if it was all for the best. After all, he reasons, the Ethiopians have brought prosperity, stability, hope against the menacing Boer titan. His empire may have fallen, but then, so do they all, and now in the place of his conflict there is unity. To the West, Hippo Regius falls, bringing the world a little closer together. Deep thoughts for such a festive soul. Party on.

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Uxmal falls to the Australians, probably not for the last time. Laredo is holding up fine, but the Maori army is under heavy fire from enemy aircraft, with no core lands to retreat to. The clock ticks down. Te pleads for the grace of the virgin Mary. More interesting is what we see going on in the gulf. Petit-Goave has taken damage, but the seas stink mightily with the stench of Rum. A renewed Arrrrmada has taken to the waves ready to recapture Inuit Texas. Slightly more in view, Sam Houston (Texas) sails his outdated navy into glorious combat with Canada’s equally outdated navy. Lester Pearson (Canada) is clearly hoping for an elimination, but without reinforcements I just don’t see it happening. The Texans, it seems, will live to fight another day.

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France stubbornly continues to exist, even adopting an ideology to let us know just how far behind they are. The Emperor of the French unsurprisingly chooses Autocracy for his people, bending to outside pressures in yet another diplomatic ploy to maintain independence. If Iceland doesn’t put down this sad little Empire, retaking their place among the ranks of the relevant, the Boers just might do it for them.

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Speaking of the Boers… good god. Their army in Sweden has grown larger than many nations’ homeland forces, in what may even be the largest armed forces in mainland Europe. In spite of this, Paul Kruger’s (Boers) plan for his menacing Swedish carpet (aside from “getting in everyone’s way) remain shrouded in mystery.

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The Mughals have made a valiant push back against the Finnish occupation, outclassing paratroopers with their squads of infantry and Great General support, but I doubt it will be enough to drive Kekkonen (Finland) back. What should have been a quick re-flip has turned into a siege thanks to the Mughals lack of ranged power, and the Finnish invaders far outnumber what remains of Akbar’s Mughal army. Gaur is almost certain to fall again, but beyond that Mughal prospects look bleak. With a shortage of units, no air force, and no range, defeat is not a matter of if, but of when. In the bottom right we see the upcoming UN resolutions: formalizing Autocracy’s de facto status as the world ideology, and placing an embargo on Afghanistan. If I had to place bets, I’d guess they’ll both pass with unanimous approval. Just a hunch.

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Ah such glory, such might, the unparalleled fleet of the Icelandic Empire! Ingolfur (Iceland) must be proud. It’s a shame he’s decided to let his magnificent naval force collect dust in the harbor. With an immense modern navy that might even outclass the Ice Sheet Fleet, one would expect a little more from Iceland. They’re Europe’s very own Boers.* *Some exclusions may not apply. Swedes not eligible.

39

Henry Morgan (Buccaneers) makes peace in his bloodless war with Sri Lanka, while in the north Gaur is retaken by Mughals, ready to be battered back into the dirt by the Finnish Globetrotter artillery. Important to note here is that, though the Sri Lankans may have wiped the floor with their Mughal neighbors, the region is full of much more advanced armed forces that could do the same to them. Parakramabahu (Sri Lanka) would do well to tread carefully, lest Vietnam or Australia decide to turn his sail-based navy into driftwood.

40

Geez, every initial prediction I’ve made this part has been a mile off the mark. Maybe I should predict that China won’t conquer Vietnam, just to see what happens. In all seriousness, the capture of Beryozovo is huge for the Yakuts. The war with Sibir is a slow, grinding front, and the city is likely to flip again, but they’ve shown that even in the face of the enemy’s air dominance they can keep making inroads. They’ve also reduced that air-superiority with this capture, taking out more than half a dozen planes and making further progress an easier obstacle. It’s a good day for the Yakutian army.

41

As expected Finland has retaken gar, and begun the push towards the Mughal capital of Agra. (Not to be confused with Agrabah, in spite of Kekkonen’s flying carpet) The Globetrotters are starting to take some damage, but they still have unquestioned numerical superiority, and snapping up that defenseless great general could do a lot to turn things in their favor. Should things get truly dire, though, we can expect fresh troops from the home front, a resource the Finns certainly have no shortage of.

42

Parkes (Australia) peaces out with the Maori before Uxmal has the chance to flip again, closing the book on the long and bloody Pacific wars in a definitive Australian victory. This series of wars has been instrumental in catapulting ‘Straya to superpower status. Solidifying total control of their home continent and establishing Wobbegong dominance of the seas, the Australians fought long and hard to overcome their neighbors, establishing a Pacific empire to strike terror into the hearts of the wider world. Now, only one question remains. Who is their next target?

43

Now here’s an interesting theatre. Both sides are all over the place, with embarked Inuit units somehow being allowed to survive in the heart of Henry Morgan’s gulf fleet, while the White Walker army drags Petit-Goave down below half health. The city will likely flip back if Ekeuhnick takes it, but the result would be devastating to the Floridarr settlement, reducing its population to single digits and thereby erasing much of its usefulness as a center of production, one of the largest Buccaneer cities. Henry Morgan (Buccaneers) needs to do something to distract the Inuit forces, and fast.

44

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking at here -- are these civs even in the Battle Royale? Mali and Morocco have been so inactive that it’s easy to forget their little corner of the world. Even now, at the ideal moment for one or both of them to snap up a few easy Carthaginian cities, they sit idle. Meanwhile Ethiopia, the go-getters of this sleepy continent, have brought Gades into the red and are starting to near Carthage (also known as should-have been-Sparta) itself. Maybe after he’s done wiping up the remains of Hannibal’s (Carthage) empire, Haile Selassie (Ethiopia) will make a move to wake up the slumbering beasts of the West. If he could unite north Africa, Ethiopia might finally have a chance of standing up to the Boer threat. (One can only dream)

45

Here it is, in all its glory, the city that could have been the crown jewel of Leonidas’ (Sparta) conquests. Instead, it nearly whole once more, recovered from the apparently meaningless Spartan assault. Some Moroccan ships have arrived on the scene, perhaps in preparation for an invasion. But a handful of flimsy privateers won’t be enough; if Ahmad Al-Mansur (Morocco) wants this capital, he’ll have to win a war on the ground to get it.

46

The Buccaneers, mighty though their navy may be, have failed in their war with the Inuit. The city garrison at Petit-Goave, addled by rum, succumbed to the Inuit invading force almost before the alarm could be sounded in the city, as siege quickly turned into conquest for Ekeuhnick (Inuit). Floridarr is now Ice-Floerida. The capture of Petit-Goave may be the least of the Henry Morgan’s (Buccaneers) worries, though. In spite of their naval power, embarked Inuit units continue to sneak past the lines onto dry land, where the Buccaneer strength is the weakest. As they struggle to recover their prized North American city, the Buccs now face a greater threat, a direct challenge to their core.

47

And here we see another civ, Arabia, enter the Atomic era. Though they are far, far behind the current tech leaders, the Arabians aren’t down for the count just yet. Their current advancement is above the curve in the region. Should Harun-Al Rashid (Arabia) set his sights on conquest before this advantage fades, the Arabians could quickly find themselves a power player in the region. But they need to act fast, lest they lose the upper hand to a larger civ like Ethiopia or Finland.

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...........Hiroshima..... I uh..... It appears that uh... Hiroshima was just nuked.... ...It would seem, in spite of Albany’s fall, that in some twisted way the American spirit lives on. Yes, the Yakuts should count themselves lucky that Japan never got the chance to found Nagasaki, because the White Walkers are pulling out all the stops. The Inuit have taken the frustrating stalemate into their own hands, heading straight for the nuclear option. But, wait what’s that in the north? TPang‘s note: The tile of this part is based off of the events of this slide. If you laughed at this, you‘re obviously a terrible monster, but don‘t worry - we here at /r/civbattleroyale forgive you. Welp, I guess a single death is a tragedy, but a million deaths is a statistic (15 Million in the case of Sydney). It makes you think; I mean here we are watching death, destruction and genocide on a global scale; heck we‘re even cheering it on. Gone are the days of two dozen kids playing the Hunger Games, us viewers crave more. Hold on... I need to make this concept into a web series!

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That’s right, this was more than an attack. It was a nuclear exchange, an event which carries a sinister tone for the future of warfare in the Battle Royale. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing many more attacks of this nature as time goes on. As for the actual results of the strike, it’s hard to tell who did the most damage here. Neither civ got a lot of unit clearance, and neither of the cities hit are within capture range. These attacks, it would seem, were acts of pure genocidal spite, a war crime of the most distilled nature. And Gandhi’s not even in this game!

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This… this is only the beginning, isn’t it? With another atom bomb aboard a Yakutian ship near Sendai, and other nuclear weapons surely stashed away nearby or on their way to the front, this is shaping up to be a war without true winners. The Yakut nuke in this shot could easily take out the damaged portion of the Ice Sheet Fleet near Sanirajak, but will it be enough? After an event like this it’s hard to see either of the combatants backing down, so we can expect to see the Inuit navy in full force soon enough.

51

This seems like as good a time as any to mention that the Buccaneers have retaken Floridarr from the Inuit, an event that was just slightly eclipsed by the descent into barbarism in the Kamchatkan war, and the changed nature of warfare forever. Though the city remains an important strategic point for Henry Morgan (Buccaneers) the population will now be at just a measly 5 citizens compared to its former 23, greatly hampering its former position as a key port for the Buccaneers. Moving to the events actually visible in this slide we see Brazil, doing an excellent job of rebuilding after their crushing defeat at the hands of Henry Morgan (Buccaneers), and sporting modern bombers. The positioning of these units suggests a potential attack on Chile, a move which has been costly for Pedro (Brazil) in the past. If they launch another failed attack on Chile, it could spell disaster for Brazil.

52

Beryozovo, as expected, has flipped back to Sibir, though Yakutia still has the strength to retake it. Other than that the front is still looking pretty-- oh holy mother of Kruger, what is that monstrosity? The Boer war carpet seems to be overflowing into every open space on the globe, as if precipitating some grand campaign. Whatever Paul Kruger (Boers) has up his sleeve, it can’t be good for anything else. Yes, the African powerhouse has been inactive, but the Boer war machine is looking more and more unstoppable, as they bide their time and continue to expand their reach under the illusion of peace.

53

In the wake of nuclear catastrophe and under impending threat of Boer invasion the Yakuts receive some more uplifting news, as they join a handful of other civs in the information era. Maintaining a strong research sector is more important than ever in their war against the Inuit, as any little edge they can get could make the difference of a city lost or captured, of a battle won or an army routed, and any shortcoming could spell disaster.

54

You’re trying, Sitting Bull, and that’s all that matters. Look at the poor guys. They know they’ve been left in the dust, so they don’t even bother with a military. It’s like an advanced version of the French strategy.

55

An Inuit corsair, captured from the Buccaneers, sails into Hawaiian waters in the Pacific doing… what exactly? Maybe it’s on its way to boat-con 935? I’m leaving it up to some clever content creator to decide the mission of this plucky arctic corsair, Boaty McBoatface, drifting out in the Pacific Ocean. I feel like I may have missed some more important point to this screenshot, but oh well. TPang‘s note: I love the slightly blue hue of the Inuit Corsair. If this happens in the future, keep an eye on the rough colour of the sails!

56

Come on Sejong! (Korea) You have the advantage against the Vietnamese right now. Your nukes are primed and ready to drop on their unsuspecting armies, your cities packed with bombers to pick up the remains, what are you waiting for? Now is the time to strike, while the iron is hot, instead of plotting against unreachably distant foes while the enemy recovers strength! Also note that the Boer carpet extends here, too. They are everywhere. There’s a storm brewing.

57

The Trung sisters (Vietnam), ever the plotters, have now added Afghanistan to their “list.” The Tibetan plateau would pretty severely constrain any war between the two powers, leaving a narrow front around Mawlamyine and Senggezangbo with mountains all around. Despite Vietnamese military superiority, much like Mexico they’d face too many natural obstacles to make effective use of their forces in such a war, and Senggezangbo might even be liable to fall. Meanwhile, past the Afghani lands, the Globetrotters are meeting with predictably with success in their war on the Mughals, dealing significant damage to Agra. Once the city falls into Finnish hands, the Mughals will be left a fragile city-state with a lot of hungry neighbors, their days most likely numbered.

58

The Buccaneers have regained their dominance of the seas, but only at substantial cost. Petit-Goave, a shell of its former self, is firmly in pirate hands for now, while the Texan coast seems liable to do quite a bit more flipping before this war is at an end. Now that they’re back in control of the situation, the Buccs have also dispatched a small fleet to deal with the Maori, who have been in a mostly cold war with Mexico and the Buccaneers for a few turns now. The city is an enticing strategic spot, but whoever gets it will also carry a huge warmonger penalty, hardly something any neighbor of the Inuit wants.

59

As Ethiopia pushes ever further into the Carthaginian core, this time seizing the city of Gades, Carthage continues to squander its troops on the impenetrable fortress that is the city of Mampong. The real question in this war, is will Haile Selassie make a completely unncessary peace deal just as his forces approach the battered and easily capturable capital? Well, it wouldn’t be unheard of. In the Kamchatkan war Yakutia makes some gains in the north, acquiring the city of Ikaluktutlak, though whether they can hold it remains to be seen. Given the history of this war, my guess is no.

60

The Champa make peace with the Soviet Union, but fail to negotiate a truce with their most pressing enemy -- the infamous Trung sisters of Vietnam. Their cities remain in relative safety thanks to Vietnam’s apparent inability to move melee units into capturing position, but their survival is just that -- survival, with no real path going forward. The Champa’s pulse gets a little slower with each passing day, as their foes swell in strength.

61

Dropping the ball a bit on timing Vietnam plots war against the Mughals, while Kekkonen (Finland) actually carries out the deed. Gaur is now firmly held, most likely out of Mughal hands forever, while Agra is on the brink of capture. The success of the Globetrotters is no doubt emboldening to fans of the Finnish Empire, but more than anything it evokes the haunting spectre of the Boers’ global army, shrouded in mystery and fear.

62

Wow, everyone is plotting against Mao these days huh? These fools, with their “science” and their “advanced armies” have actually deluded themselves into thinking they can win, haven’t they? Do they not see that Mao has two great generals? Two!! Iron is the strongest metal for a reason, you Joseon peasants. The Iron Chancellor will always reign supreme in China.

63

Hawaii, still trucking along, enters the atomic era at last! They have survived thus far with their inferior navy, but the Vietnamese ships cruising around their borders serve as a reminder that they could be stomped at any time, at the discretion of their warmongering neighbors. Still, if peace persists it may not be too late to turn things around. Down below we see a Mongol-Chilean war and a Yakut-Mexican war break out, conflicts which, due to their distance and the obstacles between the belligerent nations, aren’t likely to do much more than score a few diplomatic points.

64

It’s a proper mess up here. Yakutia, surprisingly, has managed to hold on to Ikaluktutiak, as the Inuit seem to have turned the whole of their assault toward the Yakutian coastline. Unfortunately for Ekeuhnick (Inuit) the bulk of the force seems to consist of broken, ragtag units, still suffering fallout damage, while the bulk of the Ice Sheet Fleet is nowhere to be seen. We do, however, see an Inuit Advanced Destroyer, a unit in the future worlds mod with a higher strength than the basic destroyer, and could likely do some damage to those Yakutian cities. Meanwhile a Mexican great musician stands on the front lines, just soaking it all in, the surroundings, the noise and smells of war, the radiation poisoning, all to compose his master work. I suppose that’s what Mexico does with their celebrities -- send them off to war. Good for morale, or somesuch.

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Here, as the Party Prophet might say (sobriety depending), the world has come a little more together. The Maori made a good showing before Australia’s rise, but in the end they just couldn’t keep up with their neighbors down under, and after the bloody mistake of the Sydney bomb and a brief conquest of the Australian capital, the Wobbegong was sent back out with new orders: no mercy. Even then they fought bravely, defending each city to the last, until they were finally driven into a tiny corner of central America, a shell of their former glory, where at last the mighty Buccaneers brought Te Rauparaha and his mighty warriors to heel. So let’s raise a glass of rum, in their honor, and press F, to pay respects to the mighty morphin Maori. F.

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And in the wake of the Maori’s fall, it looks like we may soon have another civ to add to the graveyard, as the Finns overtake Agra, leaving the Mughals a mere city state. Though an unexpected first capital for Kekkonen (Finland) to capture, this is still a great day for the Globetrotters. The fall of Agra brings not only prestige and production for Finland, but a new base in South Asia from which to expand, surrounded by civs with an immense tech lag behind the modernized Globetrotter army.

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An ocean away, another civ aspires to greatness. Brazil, once the titan of South America, is seeking to recoup its losses against the Buccaneers in what is sure to be a long and grueling war, one which will make or break Pedro’s empire.

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Another ocean away we see the Boer core, impressive in every way one would expect of the world’s foremost military behemoth. Therein stands a unit of railgun armor, an information-era future worlds unit which hits with a staggering 120 strength, bested only in raw power by the mighty giant death robots. Now if only they would do something with it. Ah well, maybe next part.

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Here’s the unit progression tree, showing the path up to the railgun armor (just a step below GDRs) and again that huge figure for strength. If the Boers ever get around to declaring a war, they could mop the war with almost any civ on the planet.

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Th-th-th-th-th-th-that’s all, folks!! Now on to the religion overview, since it seems we don’t have any statistics for this part. Not much has changed here. Catholicism continues to have a surplus of cities and a (small) deficit of followers compared to Judaism, and Islam continues to hold no cities. One interesting thing to note was that every religion grew in follower count save for Islam, which lost two adherents. Hardly surprising, but within a few parts we may see the faith of the party prophet die out. TPang‘s note: For the next couple of parts, opening InfoAddict crashed the game, so I decided to play it safe and not risk opening it. This only last for a few parts - so in the immortal words of Jimmy Dore - 'Don‘t Freak Out'. I‘ll endeavour to post the infodump as soon as I have time and create some new episodes!

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And, as always, our religion map! I hope you’ve all enjoyed this part, it’s been a pleasure to narrate! Don’t forget to come back next part when we pick up, in 950 AD, for a cornucopia of exciting conflicts and intrigue around the globe! This is /u/Capcombric, signing off.

Part 47: Little Boy Blue – mk2

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