Part 05: How to Fight Wars Good

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Good evening ladies and gentlemen and all the triremes at sea. Welcome to the /r/Civ 60+ Civ Battle Royale (with cheese) Mk. II | Part 5! This is /u/bencoccio bringing you the play by play. Don’t forget to ignore work and family obligations by indulging in all the hype and amazing fan-produced content easily found on the MEGATHREAD: http://redd.it/3gkegn

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The state of the world, 2740 B.C., presented in a ravishing limited edition folio by SylonL. Reserve your copy today by clicking on it and downloading it. And printing it. And then laminating it. With your laminator. Since all possible religions have already been founded, what do we think ‘B.C.’ stands for? I humbly submit ‘Ben Coccio’ as an option. No reason. I just like the sound of it. You know, unless you guys think of something better.

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All of recorded history to this moment, presented with hexaccurate™ precision by/u/cr42yr1ch.

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In 2740 B.C., just north of here in China, a book of military strategy and tactics is written by The Guy Who Won All Those Wars. It’s called How to Fight Wars Good. AS you can imagine, it’s an instant worldwide bestseller. Ché Bông Nga reads the book and takes personal command of the desperate Champa defense of Vijaya. He orders his troops to fall out of formation, disperse into the dense jungles and hilly coastline surrounding the city, and harry the advancing Vietnamese phalanxes and triremes at every turn. The hope is this strategy will exhaust both the patience of the Vietnamese nobles and Vietnam’s Burmese allies. The Trung sisters inexplicably experience a creeping sense of déjà vu... Of Note: Is this the first compound bow unit? Also, Filipino workers and warriors working the mainland near Da Nang and a Burmese settler in Mandalay Bay. Don’t be embarrassed, little settler. Just be yourself. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

5

Leonidas, marching north with his hoplites, reads a copy of How to Fight Wars Good and gets really super inspired. He decides the surest path to victory in his many-fronted war is not concentrating on Cumae first to secure his supply, but simply committing 100% to ass-kicking everyone everywhere all at once. He shares this new strategy with his generals who seem so impressed with its brilliance they are left speechless. Leonidas’s son, Leonidas the younger, knows this is folly yet says nothing. What can he say? He can never admit to his father that he scotched his own daring assault on Cumae because he was so moved by a polish soldier’s love of a simple, beautiful flower. These are feelings no Spartan should ever feel, let alone reveal... Of Note: The Portuguese have settled the island of Corsica and Byzantium seems to be finally building a navy.

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President Juárez reads the communiqué just brought to him by carrier parrot from his, General Santa Ana. “Your Excellency, As per your orders, I am moving the pieces into place for Operation Phagocytosis. Austin will be yours by the end of the week. My adjutant Pedro (a bit of a striver but still a good lad) has given me an early birthday present; a copy of a new book from far away China called How to Fight Wars Good. If anything in this book helps me to slaughter Texans more proficiently for the greater glory of the Mexican Empire and our Lord, I will let you know.” Of Note: Catholic missionaries and a great prophet spread the faith up the California coast. Also, did that Irish scout just wind up trapped in a forest in Mississippi?

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Abraham Lincoln reads his classified briefing from CIC William Westmoreland: “There has been some concerning and frankly surprising blow-back from Operation Jade Helm. It looks as if Sam Houston has gotten, if you’ll forgive the vernacular, all the cowboys off the Ponderosa and sent ‘em on up there a hootin’ and a hollerin’ round near Baltimore. I assure you, Mr. President, this is just a bump in the road. I have just read a fascinating new book by the Guy Who Won All Those Wars called How to Fight Wars Good, and I know exactly what to do.” Lincoln furrows his brow, thinks of the upcoming election and this Trump moron he must contend with. This war was meant to make Lincoln look like a leader, and make Trump look like a callow politician. At least, that was the plan.

8

Jose Rizal concentrates the efforts of his people and what you could charitably call his armed forces to the City of Cebu and environs; his play for a part of the Asian mainland. On the outskirts of Vijaya, General Võ Nguyên Giáp, advises the Trung sisters to tax their nobles and throw more men at the weakened Champa city. The Trungs ask Giáp if he’s read this new book from China everyone is talking about. Giáp laughs. “The Vietnamese people need no such instruction. We know in our bones how to fight wars good.”

9

The Inuit start to colonize the Alaskan peninsula. They are a broad-minded people, and in one of their oldest traditions, the citizens of newly founded Kingait gather together to choose which elder will lead the settlement. Elder Sarahuri Palinuq proposes that she should be governor of Kingait because she can see Yakutia from her igloo.

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When word reached Ivvavik about the Sioux settlement of Sichangu, what had been a cold war suddenly got very hot. A great number of Inuit nobles argued for war, but as usual up here, cooler heads prevailed. Still, one general in particular inspired the Inuit people’s bloodlust by taking fifteen of his heartiest warriors and heading south. When couriers were sent to find General Spartacus and return him to the capital at once, men along the road would shout ‘I’m Spartacus’ in a spontaneous display of solidarity and patriotism. After proving his point and making it almost all the way to the Sioux frontier, the General relented and headed back to the capital. Deep down he trusted his king, and he knew that the Inuit would not be content to continue a cold war against the Sioux forever.

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With Castro settled and growing, the Chilean grasp on Patagonia tightened. Eva Peron instantly regretted listening to her advisors and sending those colonists to the shores of the Caribbean. She fell into one of her dark moods and retreated to her chambers. Everyone in her court lived under a cloud of anxiety. Who will she behead to exercise her foul temper? A week later her chamber doors were open, her rooms empty. She was found waiting for her advisors at the head of the council table; a broad smile on her face and her eyes fixed with a steely thousand-yard stare. Once everyone took his or her seat, she spoke. “I have just read the most enlightening book from China,” she said. Of Note: Argentine settler up north – that’s the one we saw in Part 4 - still has yet to settle.

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Having secured their eastern border as best they can, the Brazilians start to populate their rich Atlantic coast. Of Note: Inuit explorers deep in the rain forest. They refuse to remove their seal-skin and polar bear pelt garments for fear the cold could descend on them at any moment. A lot of them just straight up die. The rest of them lose a lot of weight and look fab.

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Tragedy! King Leonidas dies in combat on the outskirts of Lodz! Leonidas the younger, fighting in the forests between Cumae and Tegea, takes the reigns of both the Spartan government and military and quickly makes peace with Rome. He knows full well Cumae could have been taken if only his father hadn’t been so rash. And if only that flower had not so moved him... He explains this temporary peace to the Oligarchs as a way to ensure a greater victory against more important foes. But in his heart, he knows the truth. Leonidas the younger orders all copies of How to Win Wars Good burnt. Of Note: British triremes out of London raid Cologne!

14

The Black Sea and the formidable nation of Armenia. They are prepared to bring their faith by force into the lands of the heathens. The only problem is, where are the heathens? Judaism is spreading through Armenia, up into the caucuses and beyond. Of Note: The Ayyubid navy. Will it ever sail through Dvin?

15

Iceland settles Newfoundland. Does this make them the first colonizer of another continent? The Hawaiians and Sri Lankans have something of a claim to this honor as well, but then you get into this question of what island chain belongs to what continental shelf, and that whole area is just a real geologist’s sh*t show. Of Note: Poland denounces Germany. You bet they do. Also, the Zulu denounce the Ashanti.

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President Juárez sends carrier parrot after carrier parrot to General Santa Ana on the ramparts around Austin pleading, “why, now that Operation Phagocytosis seems to be in place, have your archers ceased fire?” Santa Ana finally responds: “The book I told you about is a revelation. I have a new plan. Do not worry. You will see results!” President Lincoln receives yet another briefing from CIC Westmoreland: “Well, this is embarrassing. I know it looks as though Baltimore is in in danger of falling to, like, 50 Texans with clubs, but I promise you, whatever the optics, thanks to the lessons I have learned from this incredible Chinese book, we are in total control of the situation.” Lincoln makes emergency arrangements to travel to Baltimore and asks his cabinet to suggest replacements for Westmoreland. Of Note: That Irish scout is totally trapped in a forest in Mississippi!

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Both spies were consummate professionals and had worked well together over the last year, quietly coordinating their respective nation’s joint sneak attack on Texas. They’d come to look forward to their clandestine, far-flung meetings. They’d grown to be men of the world together and, surprisingly, they’d grown to be friends; although both were too seasoned to openly admit such a thing was truly possible. Now they had to meet again; this time under a cloud of failure and confusion that both nations sought to blame the other for. Paradoxically, they both dreaded this meeting and looked forward to it with great anticipation. When Ramon suggested the barren outskirts of Auyuittiq for their meeting, Paul didn’t even have to look at his ravishing limited edition folio by famed cartographer SylonL. “I know where we can get some passable churros near Auyuittiq,” Paul responded. He knew Ramon would like that. Maybe that would help. Of Note: The Sioux continue to wall off Hudson Bay.

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“So what? So they build this other Leningrad? Let them build. Let them grow. We will grow, too. We will grow fat. On good food and Armenian wine. We will wait until the people of Leningrad have forgotten about the ruins they built upon. And then we will march over there and burn them to the ground again and make them remember.” Of Note: Finnish expansion eastward.

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To: His Excellency Harun al-Rashid From: Just A Simple Lawyer Who wants to help the Empire Re: Possible Big Settlement! Your Excellency! I don’t know if you noticed, but I have TOTALLY noticed that our sigil/heraldic symbol/national flag -- whatever you wanna call it -- you know, the moon with the star thing -- well, it looks a HECKUVA lot like the symbol of that crazy cult founded in Cairo not to long ago. I forget what it’s called. Hisham or I Slam or something. I don’t know. Point is, this could be a big money-maker for us! Can you say copyright infringement? I am talking a big cash settlement here! I know you to be a peaceful guy who would rather do just about anything than start a war, but that doesn’t mean you’d flush money down the toilet, right? Please don’t hesitate to get in touch so I can walk you through my simple strategy to make these Ayyubid bastards pay through the nose, and win the realm (and me) some shekels! Of Note: The horn of Africa becomes Arabic.

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“So wait. Why didn’t we found Yeji on the coast?” “Because that’s where they put their city. F*ck those guys.” Of Note: Mali spreads her forces out along a contiguous and very strong line of Ashanti defense, while the formidable Ashanti navy moves north.

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After reading an inspiring book from China, Meiji finally gives his eager Daimyos the word. A week later, rising out of the ocean to threaten mainland Asia, emerges the awful, powerful force of ... some Japanese settlers. Then they settled a city. Right next to a mountain. Right near Yakutia. Of Note: The Koreans realize they can’t compete in the Vietnamese/Chinese land rush and settle Kaesong on the coast.

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I’ll tell ya, if I had to choose one of these civs to actually live in? Hands down Hawaii. Yeah, of course they’re not going to win, but so what? They live in paradise over here. And considering they’re in the middle of the Pacific? They’ll probably be the last to fall. I’d be long dead by then anyhow. Plus they just snagged Cabo! Spring Break, y’alls!!!

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The men and women of Peron’s court could finally breath a sigh of relief. Yes, they were entering into risky times with this war against the Inca, but Argentina was strong, their Suzerain had secured a powerful ally in the Brazilians, and for the foreseeable future, if things went bad and Peron was looking for a scapegoat, they knew it would be General Galtieri’s head on the block and not their own. Of Note: Argentine settler up north still has not settled. I mean, that’s a good thing. In dating.

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The Australians are really pumping out the settlers and populating their lush eastern coast. The Kimberly, the Maori and the Australians all race north into the Coral Sea.

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Ché Bông Nga’s heroic resistance inspires Champa men and women from all over the countryside to march north to Vijaya with their hunting bows. The Trung sisters think about Võ Nguyên Giáp and worry that perhaps they’ve heeded the advice of not a wise man, but simply a stubborn and prideful one.

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Good Lord! The Earth reels as though it will spin off its very axis! The Timurids, a thousand miles away from Vietnam and with two neutral nations in-between, have declared war on ... Vietnam! This has got to be the biggest development in this game so far! Again: brace yourself for the thrilling Timurid invasion of Vietnam! Of Note: The Chinese declare war on Vietnam.

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Mao, having put his full faith in The Guy Who Won All Those Wars, waits anxiously as operation Great Leap Forward commences. Chinese forces fall simultaneously on Hoa Lu, Hai Phong and Nhang Hong. The Trung sisters, already anxious about their drawn out battle for Vijaya, are thrown into a panic once they realize their long term plans to peacefully push China into a corner have come so quickly undone. Giáp is calm, unconcerned. He asks for the honor to lead both the fight in Vijaya and the effort against the Chinese. The Trungs have no choice but to give him the command. Of Note: The Mongolians continue to nibble away at Tibet.

28

As the Trungs feared, Anawrahta seems to back away from his promises to well and truly join the fight against the Champa. He builds the Colossus and keeps to himself. Of Note: Did the Champa navy sink the Burmese settlers from Mandalay Bay?

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Having secured another port on the Indian Ocean and having cut off Tibet from the sea, the Mughals see no need for further bloodshed. For now. Giáp holds the line against the over-extended Chinese forces, and simultaneously puts into action Operation Dien Bien Phu: Vietnamese fighters rush to sack the undefended city of Chonqing. Of Note: Nothing explodes in Tianjin.

30

Lincoln’s security detail stops him in Philadelphia. The situation in Baltimore has deteriorated too much to allow him to continue. He’s locked down in Independence Hall. The word is Sam Houston has offered ten buckets of crude oil to the Texas Ranger what shoots ol’ Abe in the belly. The defenders of Austin convince themselves that they are ‘beating the tar outta them Mexicanos’ simply because they’re Texans.

31

Lincoln gets a report from his spymaster: “Meeting in Auyuittiq concluded. Our Mexican asset assured our man that Juárez is fighting Texas with everything at his disposal. But there is no explanation for the baffling cease-fire at the siege of Austin. Perhaps the Trump campaign has offended our allies more than they let on.” Nothing further from Westmoreland. It’s likely he’s KIA.

32

The Mongolians make peace with Tibet, and Mali buries the hatchet with the Ashanti. The Drumroll war is over – part of the 2645 B.C. ‘Wave of Peace’.

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As the Tibetans and Mongolians go back to their corners, the Wave of Peace keeps waving – the Germans give up their fight against the Romans.

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Caesar sets up a fortress east of Cumae, all but cutting Sparta off from its German front. Leonidas the younger, happy he can concentrate on one enemy without looking weak to his staff, and even happier his beloved flower of Cumae will remain safe, regroups around Tegea and concentrates on Poland. Of Note: The raid against Cologne appears to have been a one-off thing.

35

The Black Prince did not like to have his strategic decisions questioned. He liked even less to have those decisions countermanded. Especially by a woman. Even if that woman was the Queen. He had argued to let Hastings fall, to sacrifice it for a chance at Cologne. Elizabeth wouldn’t hear of it. English soil shall remain English, she demanded and she ordered a vigorous defense of Hastings. For his queen to be right, everything the Black Prince read in that book he got from his friend Leonidas had to be wrong. And yet, after a year in Hastings, he found it hard to argue with her wisdom. It was an eminently defendable city. Perhaps they will be able to bleed the Portuguese dry after all, he thought. Then again, York was now wide open to the French. The French.

36

The Inuit pop out settlers faster than the Australians and fill in all of Alaska faster than you can say, ‘mush.’

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Mirwais Hotak convinces Tibet, already reeling from a lost war that just ended, to enter into a crusade with him against the Burmese. The Trungs worry this is just the kind of thing that will push the cowardly Champan government over the edge and out of the Burmese war.

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“Baltimore has fallen, sir.” Lincoln stared out the second story window of Independence Hall. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. He knew this was coming. No one said anything for a little while. “How are my numbers?” Rusk cleared his throat. “I don’t think we’ll see the true impact on the polls for at least a day or two, Mr. President.” Of Note: Hanging Gardens of Canada.

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Just how Icelandic people like it: cold as a witch’s tit.

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General Spartacus finally learns the reason for his king’s subdued response to Sioux settlements on the Hudson Bay. He had taken a page out of Lincoln’s book, and had been playing for time to secure an alliance with the Blackfoot. Once the declaration of was was read out on the great tundra, Spartacus mounted his sled and sped off toward the southern border. The fighting was furious and immediate, and Spartacus enjoyed every martial moment. It didn’t hurt to know that thanks to his shrewd king, should things go south, the Sioux would have to wade through Blackfoot territory before they even set foot on Inuit land. Of Note: The Kimberley snag the Parthenon

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Look, I don’t want to take sides here, but I got to ask -- how can we sleep when Leningrad was burning? How can we dance when the turns keep turning? The time has come. A fact’s a fact. It belongs to them. You’re going to give it back.

42

The Yakutia, great sleeping bear of the Siberian wilderness, continue to spread both east and west. Look at that army. Why have they not steam rolled the Mongolians?

43

General The Guy Who Won All Those Wars decides too late to concentrate all his forces on Hoa Lu. Giáp Sends a stream of reinforcements north while a small band of defenders and Hoa Lu’s natural defenses help hold the line. Chonqing’s garrison fights valiantly, but it’s all over except for the tears.

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The Trungs’ were right about their chicken-hearted Burmese allies who drop out of the war on the Champa, but it scarcely matters. They were also right about their lion- hearted General. Vijaya falls to Giáp and Chonqing is next. This is the moment that Vietnam’s energy transforms from potential to kinetic. Of Note: I’m pretty sure we are seeing the first swordsman here.

45

“He what? He backed his archers away from siege range? Why did he do this?” demanded President Juárez. “Your Excellency, we ... we are not sure why. He won’t return your parrots, as you know. But we’ve spit-balled it and we do have two theories. Our first theory, really the most likely one, is that they don’t have enough arrows.” After a pause, President Juárez sighed. “And your other theory?” “Our other theory is that maybe they have too many arrows. And you know, they can’t, like, choose. Which one to shoot. First.”

46

The Incan slingers wade into the fight around Machu. Fortaleza looks very vulnerable. General Galtieri commits to an assault against Machu across pastureland, through the bulk of Pachacuti’s forces.

47

The Ethiopian spy spoke patiently but insistently to the Zulu warrior, “Yes, at first glance I grant you that Nobamba does looks like a dagger pointed at Kruger’s heart. But your blade is dull and Kruger is slowly assembling a derringer. You Zulus have bravely spread your army around the Boers to surround them, but Kruger seems unfazed. For him, it just simplifies the problem. He won’t have to hunt for Zulu targets.” He knew he had offended his proud guests, but he also knew he had their attention. “The more Kruger obsesses over eradicating you, the more he neglects his far-flung northern settlements that stick in the craws of both my Emperor and his majesty the king of the Kongo. A tripartite pact between you, our people and the Kongolese could work to all our benefit. We only ask that you consider this.” Of Note: Looks like the Boers are going for Madagascar.

48

With geography on their side, the Polish can hold off the Spartans without exposing themselves to the Soviets or the Germans. Leonidas the younger is grateful for this geography. On the slopes of those mountains, are those ... wildflowers? Of Note: Rome re-militarizes and France casts about for a second act. In a heartbreaking display of perfect tragic uselessness that only war can manifest, German and Swedish archers shoot arrows across the water at one another.

49

The Black Prince watches the tree line. A decimated band of Portuguese warriors staggers out into the clearing and runs for the walls of the city. The Black Prince admires the courage and determination of these doomed men. As he orders them cut down, he knows they will not be the last to come to the walls of Hastings.

50

The Icelandic Colonies flourish. I mean, I would never live there, but it’s very pretty. Or I’ve heard it’s pretty. Anyways, they have a bit of a navy now too.

51

Chonqing falls. Tianjin looks vulnerable. The Guy Who Won All Those Wars’ offensive around Hoa Lu utterly deteriorates. Mao, not wanting to appear rash, does not immediately replace his General. He sends a messenger seeking explanation. His general promptly sends back word assuring Mao that this is just Phase One of his plan; that Phase Two will reveal that this seeming catastrophe was all along the height of tactical cunning. Of Note: The Philippine strategy to slowly and peacefully grab bits of the mainland Asian coast via Cebu’s expansion and land purchases seems like not such a bad call.

52

After the fall of Vijaya, Ché Bông Nga sues for peace. Giáp, an admirer of Ché Bông Nga’s courage, advises the Trungs to accept this offer. Vijaya is a prize worth the effort, they are now at the doorstep of the Champa capital, and China must be concentrated on.

53

Jose Rizal continues to build up his forces. The Champa lick their wounds and look across the sea for expansion opportunities.

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Sichangu becomes the locus of the combined Inuit-Blackfoot eastern front. Spartacus knows that they can cut off Sioux the smaller Sioux settlements in and around Hudson Bay if they can just take Sichangu. The Sioux’s lines of supply to the besieged city are slowed considerably by Blackfoot sappers around Itazipcho.

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The Blackfoot come on strong around the Rockies, perhaps making a move to encircle Mdewakantonwan, where most of the Sioux forces are concentrated.

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Leonidas the younger knows calling off the war with Poland will make the Oligarchs lose faith in him. There’s nothing worse for a Spartan than walking away from a fight. But it’s the right decision, and he knows how to at least talk like a Spartan. “Once we regroup”, he muses out loud at dinner with his most hawkish Generals and nobles, “we shall head east.

57

That Irish scout is still stuck in the back woods of Mississippi. Insert hillbilly moonshine/Irish people drinking joke here. Of Note: Philadelphia is now under Texan threat.

58

Arrr, the Caribbean slowly goes black, me hearties. And finally now, we have ships to sail upon and plunder with. Our rum helps bashful pirates couple off and make wee little pirates, raising our population right on up the mizzen-mast. Shiver me timbers and place the black spot, for the Mayans are still super chill and going nowhere. Of Note: The Guy Who Won All Those Wars puts Phase Two of his plan into action.

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Having given up entirely on the war against the Vietnamese, Mao’s general starts a war with the now much stronger Mongolians over a nearby (and clearly provocative) settlement - all while unprotected Chinese settlers roam around Mongolian borders. Mao realizes that things have gotten so bad so quickly because of this dilettante that even the Koreans are now a threat. The Koreans. Mao paces back and forth across Tiananmen Square desperately trying to remember where he found this guy, how this jerk rose out of nowhere into such a prominent and important position. He stops in his tracks, his eyes bulge wide. He says out loud to no one, “Oh, riiiiiiight. Shit. That Cultural Revolution is really gonna cost me, huh?” Mao recalls his general, bans his book, and sends him away for re-education.

60

Leonidas the younger could talk to Hitler. Hitler was a lot like Leonidas the younger’s father and he knew just what to say to get Hitler to propose peace – to do it in a way where everyone saves face and neither finds himself looking down the business end of a coup. He also managed to get Hitler to make peace with Sweden as part of the deal. At first he told himself he had thrown in this last provision of the peace accord as a lark – to see how far he could push Hitler. But deep down he know he just couldn’t stand to see any more useless bloodshed. He was afraid of what he was allowing himself to become. Days later, when he told his wife in private about what he’d done for the people of Sweden, she looked at him like she didn’t know him – like she never knew him. “A Spartan that makes peace. Who is this I married?” she hissed. He was very glad he never told her about the flower. Of Note: Siberian CF coming!

61

Mao was ready to face total defeat; even at the hands of the Koreans if that were his fate. No matter what, he would fight on to the bitter end. And then word came. The Sibir decided to wade into the War Against Mongolian Aggression. Old Sarai would fall to them in a matter of days. Maybe this would be enough to save Mao’s fledgling colonies north of Mongolia. Maybe that would be enough to let Chinese forces regroup and even conquer Mongolia. And someday come back in force to Chonqing. And then on to Hanoi... But he knew he shouldn’t get ahead of himself; shouldn’t get lost in dreams of glory. That’s how he got into this mess in the first place. With the Huns to Kuchum Khan’s West, Mao knew The Sibir would not commit much more to the fight then they already had. But still. Maybe it would be enough. Maybe... Of Note: The cut off and undefended Chinese colonies.

62

Top Pop. Some of the usual suspects. I was not expecting to see Texas in there. I suppose getting liquored up at the rodeo really does help foment reproduction.

63

Zulus still dead last here. Not to be crude, but please get f*cking, Zulu people! I want to see you implement your Impis! Surprise low pop peoples? Mexico and Mongolia.

64

These folks are the ones to watch. Of Note: Looks like Eva never settled that settler

65

Rome dodged a bullet this time. Maybe they will make something out of this opportunity?

66

Not too many surprises here, either. But this is still the best part of the game for my money – even with some of the bigger players cementing their hold on different regions. I mean, look at Vietnam: anything can happen. These are the days of high adventure!

67

Well, okay, Rome and Carthage, that’s not going to happen. But still. Adventure!

68

A lot of folks in the production top ten are throwing that production against each other right now in big, smart wars.

69

Judaism still kicking alms and taking souls.

70

Judaism is going wide into Europe and Asia, but it’s getting no love in Africa. Meanwhile, Catholicism is slowly creeping south and quickly sprinting north. The Japanese are really pushing this Shinto stuff too, considering they are late to the game, spiritually speaking. That wraps up Part 5. Thank you, dear reader for your attention. I truly hope you enjoyed it! And thank you very much TPangolin for this opportunity to contribute to the fun.

Part 05: How to Fight Wars Good – mk2

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