Part 57: The Grudge Match

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Welcome, comrades! I’m longtime lurker /u/CrucibleOfTraining, and I’m here today to present the latest chapter of the legendary saga that is the Mk II Civ Battle Royale. Though I’ve never created a smidgen of OC in my time on this sub, I’ll do my best to guide ya’ll through the upcoming slides with respect, insight, and grace. Wars will be fought, nations will be torn asunder, and stupid peace deals will be made. Without further ado, let’s jump on in. Civball by /u/DerErlenkonig

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Here, we have our gorgeous map by /u/Malssistra, with /u/LacsiraxAriscal handling city names and ocean borders. Notable changes include the loss of the Finnish indian holdings to Vietnam and Finland’s acquisition of two new exclaves, snuggled tightly between Yakutia and Mongolia. Finland also gained the city of Adrianople from Sparta, showing how active they were last part.

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The top-ten power rankings haven’t changed at all since last part. The Boers, bolstered by their recent conquests and their Unstoppable Mechanized Army of Doom®, sit pretty at spot number 1, while the ever-hungry Australia watches jealously from second place. As of right now, the only of these civs to be engaged in really meaningful wars are Finland (vs. Sparta) and Australia (vs. Chile). Keep an eye on those two moving forward.

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We start with an image of Japan’s last remaining city, Osaka. It’s got a nice, juicy population, but its defense force is badly outdated. I reckon just about any nearby power could cut through those privateers like butter. Notably, Sejong (Korea) has a carrier loaded with an atomic bomb lurking nearby, but don’t expect to see any nukes used against Japan until that Finish paratrooper gets out of the way. Also: Vietnam has a metric f***-ton of embarked units chillin in the north Pacific. What the Trung Sisters have planned for them, nobody knows.

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The Inuit have done a tremendous job reinforcing their most recent city capture. Mililani Mauka was captured a few parts ago from the Blackfoot using only a few ships. Now it’s surrounded by an armada of cutting edge naval units, including cybersubs, advanced destroyers, and arsenal ships. If the Inuit were to declare war on Hawaii, their new fleet could capture the last Hawaiian city in seconds. It will also prove useful if Ekeuhnick (Inuit) ever faces off against Henry Parkes (Australia).

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Sparta continues fighting a tough two-front war against Morocco and Finland. Against Morocco, the Spartans actually look to be do doing quite well: there isn’t a single Moroccan naval unit in sight, promising safety for the Spartan island holdings, and though Morocco will try and flip Carthage with land units Sparta has a big enough navy to keep taking it back. Things don’t look nearly as rosy on the Finnish front. Sparta almost certainly cannot take/hold Adrianople, and it seems likely Finland will make a strong push towards Constantinople. You might have a sick eight-pack Leonidas, but all the glistening abs in the world won’t make up for you still having great war infantry.

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In the far reaches of the arctic, two Buccaneer ships cling doggedly to life, hiding between the massive Icelandic and Swedish navies. What do you think damaged them? My bet is a few roaming Finnish ships. As a side note, check out how fast Iceland is filling its navy with arsenal ships.

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Ethiopia, it seems, is the newest member of the armies-so-big-they-overflow-your-borders club, with significant numbers of paratroopers pouring into Persia. This means the Ethiopians are strong enough to have a chance against the Boers, right? Right?!? To the East, Vietnam has Finnish-ed (ha) killing the remaining Finnish troops in India and is now filling the area with units.

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The Australian fleet of mostly submarines struggles to actually capture a Chilean city. Luckily, reinforcements are coming in from the east, bringing with them a few melee units. If Australia handles their next attack better they could easily still make significant gains against the Chileans. Across the globe, Morocco flips Carthage back from Sparta.

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Not much to say here that I didn’t say a few slides back. Morocco holds the 1-population Carthage, but Sparta has the naval presence needed to recapture it and will probably do so quite soon. The Finnish front hasn’t changed much. Strangely, there are Australian diggers hanging out in Icelandic France. Did they dig all the way through the earth and pop out on the opposite side of the globe?

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In the Sioux city of Tazipcho, a young Sioux captain boards his newly-constructed caravel. Proud to explore the world in the name of his country, he speaks to his crew: “At last, the Sioux people shall explore and know the world! Our voyages shall usher in a new age of prosperity and greatness for our civilization!” “Nah” says the blockading Inuit navy.

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Sick gains bro! Looks like Leonidas has been drinking extra protein shakes, because the Spartan navy just took back Adrianople from the Finns - pretty impressive, all things considering. The city is bound to flip back to Kekkonen (Finland) before long, but Sparta’s victory here will still help keep Finland at bay.

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Afghanistan signs peace treaties to end several irrelevant wars. They do have one relevant war, with Persia, but that conflict has stagnated and doesn’t look to be going anywhere. Both sides are so weak that mounting any strong offensive is impossible.

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Australia continues its strategy of “surround cities with submarines until they’re so scared they surrender.” That fleet of Australian reinforcements isn’t in frame and may have broken apart. In other good news for Chilean supporters, Bernardo Higgins just made peace with the Inuit. Though the Inuit-Chile conflict may seem irrelevant, recall that the the Inuit had already seized Chilean holdings in the Pacific. Chile doesn’t need the White Walkers taking anything else, certainly not with Australia already on their doorstep.

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Crowfoot (Blackfoot) completes the Manhattan project. At the very least, having some nukes would even the field between the Inuit and Blackfoot in the event of a conflict. The Inuit lands may look pretty empty in this slide, but don’t be fooled: their massive tech advantage would still make them favorites against the Blackfoot.

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Well darn, I might have to eat my own words. Persia, despite its weakness, has mounted a decent campaign against Afghanistan and looks to have chance to capture the Afghan capital. Whether or not Darius (Persia) gains anything out of this war depends on his ability to continually put pressure on the Afghan units guarding that mountain pass.

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In the obligatory shot of the Boer core, we see huge stacks of drone fighters supporting an already terrifying ground force. Hover tanks skim across the sea next to aircraft carriers and, weirdly, caravels. There are a few gaps in the land carpet but that’s probably just because of the recent expansion into Mali.

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The combatants from the recently-ended Asian Khan-flict lick their wounds. I know it’s been said before, but there’s some reeeaally serious border gore going on in this part of the world. Trygyn Darkhan (Yakutia) hatches schemes against Mao (China), pissed at him for making it difficult to nuke Sibir by putting peacekeeping units in the way.

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As you can see from this shot, Armenia’s core is just way too empty. The only reason they’re still alive is because they don’t share a large border with a top-tier civ. Meanwhile, Sweden has retaken Adrianople from Sparta and landed some paratroopers near Varna - a nice distraction, but not enough to take the city on their own.

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Ahmad Al-Mansur (Morocco) is seriously struggling in his war with Leonidas (Sparta). Carthage is in Spartan hands, and with a lack of nearby Moroccan melee units, it may stay that way. Spartan ships also push West toward Braga (Morocco), but the Moroccan air force can probably keep them at bay.

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Vietnamese paratroopers sit idly on one of the few places on the globe still capable of founding a valid city. A lonely Inuit settler watches in despair, having been surrounded by other Vietnamese troops for the past couple hundred years. “I just want to put down my flag” the settler cries out. But he can’t. In the nearby arctic sea, there are entirely too many embarked land units.

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The AI really likes to kick an enemy while he’s down, doesn’t it? Nearly all the plots that the Babylonian spies are reporting have been against dead or dying civs. Seriously, what’s the point in attacking a civ with no cities and like two outdated military units?

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The spies are sent out to various non-capital cities in the Inuit, Vietnamese, and Boer empires. Notice that these are three of the top four civs in the game; with luck, we’ll get some tasty intel on their plans.

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O shit waddup!!! The Finnish paratrooper corps strikes again, seizing Varna from the Spartans! Whether or not they keep the city depends on the number of additional troops they can drop in. And IF they do hold on to Varna, it’ll be a fantastic staging ground for the assault on Constantinople. But regardless of what happens to Varna, Finland is clearly the undisputed king of border gore.

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Just a little to the South, Armenia joins the club and declares war on Sparta. A surprising move, given how utterly weak Armenia’s army is. With only a handful of melee units in their entire army I doubt Armenia will be able to take a city out of this war - but it’ll still hurt Sparta by draining away resources. Even worse, these mounting DOW’s could encourage a more dangerous neighbor - like Sweden or Ethiopia - to declare war.

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Damnit Australia. You had probably the largest navy in the world and entered a war against a far weaker nation, but you bungled your invasion of the Chilean mainland time and time again. With this peace treaty, the Chileans have managed to escape their ordeal with all of their mainland cities intact, if a bit low on population. Truly a missed opportunity on the part of Australia. Remember kids: Always. Bring. Melee. Units.

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Canada has a solid carpet going on here, though it relies far too much on anti-aircraft guns for my liking. Lester B. Pearson (Canada) certainly has a denser carpet than his Inuit neighbors, but the Inuit forces are greater in tech level and likely in total number. Canada also joins the dogpile against Sparta.

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Aaaaaand the Ethiopians declare war on……. Korea. Butter luck next time, Haile Selasse! With a carpet as strong as his, Ethiopia could have wiped the floor with any of their neighbors (excluding the Boers) if they had only made a smarter DOW.

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The World Congress embargoes the Buccaneers, but somehow I don’t think Henry Morgan will mind. He’ll go on drinking rum and building excessive numbers of carriers in comfortable solitude. Honestly though, the carrier problem is probably the Bucc’s single biggest handicap at this point in the game. Imagine how powerful their navy would be if every one of their carriers was an advanced destroyer.

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The World Congress has also banned coral. The new ruling will affect nations like Australia or the Buccs that have lots of island cities, but I really don’t think these luxury bans are that damaging to the AI. I mean, at the level of a deity AI, taking away one resource that could potentially be used for trade just doesn’t do much. In addition to the coral ban, check out the sheer diversity of units Australia is showing off in this slide. I see diggers, settlers, a lancer, submarines, nuclear submarines, a caravel, privateers and more.

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The Finnish rule over Varna proved to be short-lived. Spartan troops took back the city, and it looks secure unless there’s another big paratrooper wave. Sparta is also enjoying success in the South, where it’s easily pushing back against Armenia.

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Tibet and Japan, two superpowers in this game, have just declared war against the even more powerful Sitting Bull (Sioux). Expect a long, protracted, and incredibly bloody war. ....Or maybe not

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Morocco currently holds Carthage, but at zero health it looks ready to flip yet again. Over in Anatolia, Finland has brought in more paratroopers and is renewing its attack on Varma (Sparta). Notice that Adrianople is still in Finnish hands, but if Sparta were to only bring a naval melee unit they could capture it back.

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Varna, for the second time, has fallen under the rule of Kekkonen (Finland). The paratrooper presence is stronger this time, but more flips are still likely. Lol @ the random tile of Finnish ocean that somehow is considered part of Varna.

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Sparta flips Varna yet again. But even though Sparta captured the city, this slide is looking good for Finland supporters. Both Constantinople and Trebizond (Sparta) have taken serious damage and could flip to Finland soon. Also, enough space has been cleared in the area that Finland will be able to land greater numbers of paratroopers on each turn.

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Uh-oh. Word is on the street that Ekeuhnick (Inuit) has nasty plans for Sam Houston of Texas. And unlike a lot of our spies’ intelligence reports, this one could result in a meaningful war. If the rumors end up true, I shall weep for my beloved Texas. Brave as we are, we cannot hold off the vile Inuit for long. Though I suppose the ridiculous number of Mexican and Australian peacekeepers could help keep us safe.

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This bit of intelligence is even more ominous: Kruger (Boers) is plotting against Haile Selassie (Ethiopia). Ethiopia has a great carpet going, and a war between them and the Boers would be a conflict of epic scale. But none can survive against the Orange Menace for long. In this slide the Boers also show off their recently acquired Bio Drone, a powerful unit that upgrades from the drone UAV and comes with the ‘march’ upgrade.

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A splendid shot of the well-developed and well-carpeted Vietnamese core. Out of Hoi Ann, our agent reports that the Trung Sisters (Vietnam) mean to act against Augustus Caesar (Rome). Because, he’s like, such a threat to them, right?

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In central Asia, little has changed. Persia has brought Kabul (Afghanistan) down to the red, but they won’t take it unless they get past the single Afghan unit guarding the pass. Over to the right, there’s a single Tibetan settler fleeing his lands, hoping to establish a sanctuary for his people where the Vietnamese can never hurt them.

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The Trung Sisters (Vietnam) continue their habit of plotting against dead civs as they make plans against China. “I don’t care if he doesn’t have any cities, Mao is practically a god!” sister #1 screams at her advisor. “If we don’t kill him now, before he’s amassed full power, he’ll go super saiyan and annihilate us all!” Or something like that.

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Mao (China) just can’t catch a break. The Boers, jealous of Mao’s charisma and influence, also scheme against him.

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Canada, backed by Sibir, declares war on the Sioux. It’s an understandable move; i’d be pissed too if my enemies kept coming back from the dead. But Lester B. Pearson (Canada) will have a tough time getting through all those Inuit and Blackfoot units.

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The World Congress will meet shortly to consider banning seals and wine; the seals ban would probably affect the Inuit most. This shot also gives a good view of the famous Ice Sheet Fleet, probably the most technologically advanced on the globe. Too bad it’s stuck in the arctic and never gets any use ;)

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The Finland-Sparta war is over, and Constantinople has gone to Finland in the peace treaty! Some Finnish supporters may be sad Kekkonnen (Finland) didn’t gain more, but continuing the war against Sparta would have been too draining. Besides, Constantinople is a fantastic city: it’s a capital, it gives access to the Mediterranean, and it’d be a great base of operations for future wars against Sparta.

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The deadlock outside Kabul (Afghanistan) continues as before, except now Persia has brought its legendary pikeman, a veteran of battles from centuries past, to the front. Mirwais Hotak of Afghanistan must be trembling in his boots.

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The Trung Sisters (Vietnam) plot for the 789th time, now against Persia. If such plans come to fruition, they will surely result in the annihilation of Darius (Persia) and his empire.

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What?! How’d that happen? Somehow, Canadian units found a way through peacekeeping forces and put a swift end to Itazipcho, the last Sioux city. Sitting Bull presumably died in the battle. I’d ask ya’ll to press F for respects, but this is what, the third time this has happened? At this point, I’m doubtful if Sitting Bull can be “killed” at all. Bid the Sioux people farewell, just don’t be surprised if that farewell ends up being… temporary.

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Action has returned to North America! Mexico declares war on its age-old enemy the Blackfoot, supported by a symbolic Boer DOW. Things are already looking bad for the southernmost Blackfoot city, A’annn, which is currently in the red. I would definitely say Mexico is the favorite in this war, as they seem to have the overall larger force. But then again, since the nations can only fight on two relatively small fronts, things could easily devolve into a stalemate.

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A single Boer unit sails bravely towards the Blackfoot city of Mililani. But more interestingly, notifications tell us that Sparta has flipped Carthage and for the first time, flipped Jerusalem!

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Though Sparta may have been defeated by the Finns, they’re making great strides against Armenia. By capturing Jerusalem, they’ve made up for the capitol they just lost and are poised to make additional gains in Armenian lands. Hebron (Armenia) is so exposed, it’s practically begging for an attack. Personally, I’d love to see a Spartan takeover of Armenia. The Armenians have been lazy as an Indonesian for centuries.

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Sri Lanka declares war on Canada. That’s cool and all, but what really grabs my interest on this slide is how easily Vietnam could wipe out Sri Lanka if they wanted to. That streak of green troops across northern India is terrifying.

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HYYYYYYYYPE TRAAAAIN!! The Inuit declare war on Canada!! This sensational DOW reignites a conflict that’s been dead for centuries. Old wrongs shall be remembered, and massive bloodshed is assured as both sides fight for vengeance. It’s a veritable grudge match. My money here’s on the Inuit. That Sioux city Canada just captured will collapse any second, and I doubt it’ll be the last to fall. Of course, Canada is still capable of putting up a good fight. They’ll almost certainly take the Inuit exclave in their lands.

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Things look pretty even numbers-wise so far, but the Inuit have a huge edge in technology. In Hudson Bay there are cybersubs and arsenal ships facing off against vanilla destroyers. That’s not going to end well for Canada. Pearson (Canada) has a reserve force of destroyers to the East, but the Inuit have their own Ice Sheet Fleet stashed up in the North, and it’s far, far scarier. The Inuit, taking the first strike, bring Regina (Canada) to the red. It may well be the first city to flip.

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Oh boy. I forgot how utterly surrounded Canada is by Inuit territory. This is going to be brutal. Especially since the Inuit have multiple nuclear missiles ready near Canada’s very heartland.

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Additional nukes are in the Inuit exclave of Hamilton, though they better be used soon. The city seems quite likely to be captured.

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The Finnish exclave of Hsia is already fortified with a strong garrison of air units. Mongolia has also gone to work rebuilding after the Asian wars, and to be honest, they aren’t looking too bad. At least they have modern armor now. That’s pretty nice.

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A view of Boer-owned Mali and another look at a Bio Drone unit. The Boer carpet here isn’t that dense, but that’s just because the area was recently conquered. Give him a few turns and I’m sure Paul Kruger’s new lands will be coated in orange.

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We also have an image of the ranged unit tech tree. The Bio Drone, as you can see, is the final unit in the upgrade path. It’s got a combat strength of 80, a ranged strength of 120, range 3, movement 4, AND the march upgrade. In other words, it’s f***ing scary.

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The Buccs and Finns make peace, ending a mostly unimportant, yet symbolic war. The Buccaneer core is still stuffed with carriers.

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Hmmm. Not much has happened in the Mexico-Blackfoot war. Things are stagnating and the nations are just facing off across a few mountain passes, exactly what I was afraid would happen.

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Morocco actually has an decent navy of destroyers. Unfortunately, they’ve failed to move it East into the Mediterranean, which would help keep Sparta from capturing Carthage. Morocco’s ground forces, of course, are almost nonexistent.

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Things get nasty between Canada and the Inuit. Lester B. Pearson (Canada) orders his legions forward and brings down the health of Ikaluksomething and Hamilton, two heavily-surrounded Inuit cities. The White Walkers had best move their air units before the cities fall.

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Canada’s turn continues, and Pearson starts bringing destroyers through the narrow arctic straits. They have yet to seriously damage any of the northern Inuit cities, however.

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he Trung Sisters (Vietnam) are plotting against everyone and their mother. This time, the crafty duo have their eyes set on Tibet. I think we all know who’d come out on top of that conflict.

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Still no city captures between Mexico and the Blackfoot, but the strangely named Blackfoot city “A’Annn” looks like it’ll fall any minute. With zero health and a tank on its doorstep, the city is as good as gone.

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And it’s on to the Info Addict slides! In population, things are about the same as last time with one big exception: the Boers. The Boer population has rocketed up by an astounding 50 million, allowing the Orange Empire to displace Australia at the top of this list.

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Down at the bottom we see the usual suspects: city states and other weak nations. Mongolia’s population is especially disappointing, given their relatively large land area.

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The Boers, almost topping 3 million in total military strength, are stronger than ever. Vietnam comes in second place this time, with Australia close behind. Finland and the Inuit have dropped a bit, probably due to their recent wars.

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Nothing new here. Australia is still the City God. Henry Parkes controls more cities than Sweden, Canada, Brazil and Yakutia combined. So.... RIP TPang‘s computer.

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Another category where the Boers knocked Australia out of the top spot. The Boer science output here is about 2,000 higher than last part, allowing Paul Kruger to retake #1 from his green and gold rivals.

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Boers are #1 here with 99 techs. Only the Inuit are close to the Boers; most top-tier civs are in the 70’s.

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The religion slide has no surprises. Catholicism is supreme, while Islam has fewer followers every day.

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And finally, we have the religion map. Only the very tip of South America and a couple islands remain aethiestic. And with that said, my time as a narrator draws to a close. I’m /u/CrucibleOfTraining, and I’ve had an absolute blast narrating this segment of the Mk II BR. You stay classy, /r/civbattleroyale ;)

Part 57: The Grudge Match – mk2

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