Part 67: The Kekkoning

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Welcome back to another edition of the Civilization V Battle Royale Mk. II, the Reddit craze over 10,000 Babylonian observers strong! I’m your host, /u/sonicnerd23. Last part was an absolute mess, as several new conflicts erupted across the cylinder that could see a good number of our major contenders fall from grace. Will this part deliver on that? Or will this be another Khanflict? Sit tight - you’re about to find out!

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We also have our relationship chart, created weekly by /u/maserlazer! Looking at last part’s chart, no one’s satisfied with just straight up denouncement anymore, settling for wars, wars, and more wars. In the words of professional Oompa Loompa Donald J. Trump, “Sad!”

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Here’s the weekly city map from /u/Malssistra and /u/LacsiraxAriscal! As you can see, the situation in the world has changed considerably in just this last part alone, with the Boers expanding their holdings in Europe and border gore galore in the Middle East. For a map of the CBR’s cities juxtaposed with our world, be sure to check out this ongoing map project, also by /u/LacsiraxAriscal! https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1YNKndaVvyekiJUkOWrUwiIi8EPs

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/u/TheBenno provides us with the best selling sequel to 'How to Fight Wars Good', now banned in the Buccaneer empire due to public outrage. Admiral Gandhi continues to seek refuge in Vietnam.

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As commissioned by Gandhi himself, a foldout within the book by /u/AcipenserSturio shows us the regions of the world 'successfully militarised' by Gandhi‘s influence.

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The Boers, as usual, top the Power Rankings for last part. For so long, they’ve been the undisputed masters of tech and military strength, and in these past few parts, they’ve finally been acting on their advantages, waging successful wars on the more cluttered powers of Europe. Should they keep up their momentum, they may very well have four more capitals under their belt by the end of the part! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Speaking of the Boers, we begin our part today with a shot of the tense Ethiopian-Boer border (boerder?). Bless Ethiopia, they’re trying their hardest to keep up with the Boers. With their blitzkrieg-like conquests of Carthage and Arabia, there’s no doubt that they’ve become a force to be reckoned with in their own right and have come a long way from their decently-sized empire in the Horn of Africa. But unfortunately, the Boers are just too far ahead tech wise for the Ethiopians to even stand a chance against them without heavy losses.

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Nuclear hellfire sweeps across the Baltics as a fleet of Swedish Advanced Destroyers launch a naval assault, retaking Helsinki and encroaching on Espoo. The war between the Swedes and the Finns has so far seen Sweden coming out on top. For how much longer this Swedish success will continue is dubious, however. Finnish forces lie within striking distance of Helsinki, and meanwhile, the Swedes are still at war with the Boers, who are drawing ever nearer towards their core.

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Zooming out from the frontlines, TPang gives us a shot of the Swedish core, which is surprisingly only lightly defended. Either the Swedes have already sent too many men into the meat grinder, the combined Finnish-Boer aerial bombardment has eviscerated their land forces before they could even reach the frontlines, or both. In either case, this is not good news for Sweden. Navally, however, the Swedes appear to be in a far better position, with a massive fleet of Arsenal Ships, Carriers, and Advanced Destroyers off the Norwegian coast. Unfortunately, this is pretty moot, seeing as how their war against the Finns and Boers is being primarily fought on land, but hey, it’s gotta count for something… right?

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The Balkan front continues to be a sweep for Team FinnBoer, as a team of Boer XCOMs easily steamrolls through Swedish defenses. Finland retakes Constantinople from Sweden, cockblocking their Boer allies from sniping a capital for themselves. Finland are even seeing some successes in Anatolia in their war against the Sibir Khanate, as Finnish forces swamp the Sibir garrisons at Tigranocerta and Gyumri. Meanwhile, the terrified, technologically-inferior forces of the Armenians gaze on in horror at the carnage unfolding around them.

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Going deeper into the Middle East, we can see that just as the Finnish-Sibir front there is heating up, so too is the Vietnamese-Sibir front. It’s clear that Vietnam haven’t completely disregarded their recent conquests in what was Persia, stocking the hangers of Pasargardae with Drone Fighters galore. Already, several Sibir cities on this front sit in the red from repeated aerial bombardment. However, the mountains and hills in this part of the world will make it hard for Vietnamese forces to launch any sort of direct assault, and the Khanate’s forces are still too carpeted on this front for Vietnamese paratroopers to land near any cities.

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In fact, the Eastern Front has ground to a bloody stalemate thanks to the rocky terrain. Several cities are low in health - most notably Khost and Samarquand, which both look likely to flip a few times - but both sides are fielding enough forces to continue grinding away at each other indefinitely. Such is what happens when an unstoppable force (Vietnam) meets an immovable object (Sibir). Meanwhile, the Knights of the Maond Table survey the scene, one knight in particular annoying a group of Sibir forces on the way to Urgench.

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The Sibir-Finnish War, by contrast, has the potential to be a lot more mobile. As a column of tanks and VERTOL units descend on Moscow and Kiev, Finnish forces scramble to put together a sizable defense force. However, sandwiched between two hostile powers, their chances do not seem good. God, if they aren’t tenacious, though; their bombers are doing a number on Sibir cities close to the front and they’ve even sent a crack team of XCOMs and Paratroopers to seize Tashkent. It seems Kekkonen, taking a page from the Maori, has decided to go out swinging.

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The Second Great Pacific War continues, albiet modestly. There doesn’t seem to be much substantial fighting between Vietnam and Australia. Things are far from over, granted - Panduranga is shockingly close to having no health while scuffles continue near Cebu, Vigan, and Iloilo - but it seems that with both powers preoccupied with other major wars, this front is secondary to them at the moment… oh, yeah, and the Blackfoot are still there. Somehow I keep forgetting they have an outpost this far out even though I was the guy who narrated the part where they sniped it from the Champa. Go figure.

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Finally, Brazil finally breaks through the Chilean lines north of Concepcion. What remains of the Chilean army retreats south to their four remaining cities. Folks, we may be witnessing the end of Chile. The only thing in the way of their final demise at the hands of Brazil is, quite literally, Australia. Unless Brazil gets open borders with Australia, they will be forced to embark troops into waters where Chile (shockingly enough) still has the naval advantage. It will be a bloody endeavor, but should Brazil wish to see it through to the end, they will have finally rid South America of their centuries-old rival.

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North of South America, the walls are steadily closing in on Mexico. As Australian forces continue fighting for their coastal cities, Mexico is surprisingly (or not so surprisingly, considering the amount of fallout that now blankets Mexican territory) having a difficult time with Texas, of all civs. However, to be fair to Mexico, Texas is also struggling. Their capital, Austin, now sits at 0 health while Laredo isn’t faring much better. What’s left of their once-impressive carpet (for a former city state) is making a bloody push for Mexico City. It’s a bold gamble on Sam Houston’s behalf; should he succeed, Texas will forever go down in CBR history as the city-state that broke free of its classification in a daring, opportunistic declaration of war. But should he fail, Texas will likely end up eliminated in a blaze of glory… Actually, scratch that gamble part, it’s a win-win situation, if you ask me.

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As Australian Japan continues to burn in a nuclear hell, the Koreans just… sit there. At this point, we know that Korea is more than capable of bringing the hurt on powerful civs. They blitzed Vietnam, taking a huge chunk of their northern territory. They blitzed Mongolia and Yakutia, taking huge swathes of their territory. Heck, in the one war Korea had against Australia, they were able to hold their own, and that was against an Australia who completely had their attention on them. Right now while Australia is distracted would be the perfect time for Korea to strike.

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Once again, the war between Yakutia and the Inuit has ground into a stalemate. Seriously, there are more Finnish ground units in this shot than there are from either the Inuit or the Yakuts! Perhaps it’s understandable why Yakutia has such low military manpower, as they lost most of it against Korea and most of what remains is fighting Mongolia and Sibir. But the Inuit? They have no excuse. Right now, they are at war with no other nearby neighbor but the Yakuts. With their army, their navy, and their canal city of Iglooik, they should be advancing on Jokusai by now!

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On second thought… where is the Inuit military? These are cities that are closer to their core, so you’d expect there’d be more land forces here, but most of the Inuit units I see in this shot are workers or naval. This could be bad for them; should they decide to go to war with a stronger power, the Blackfoot could easily take the opportunity to swoop in and do some major damage to these cities. Then again, considering the Inuits’ outrageous production, they could just as easily pump out an army for these territories should a scenario like that occur.

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Here we see the Inuit city of… *sigh* Pasadena. As is known by now, the Inuit have founded so many cities at this point that they’ve run out of their own city names and started borrowing names from other civs in the game, resulting in ironic cities like this. But I digress. It seems there is no corner of the cylinder safe from the carnage of the Second Great Pacific War, as a Vietnamese paratrooper squares off against an Australian Bazooka unit on the outskirts of Pasadena. There goes the neighborhood.

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It seems my hunch was right that Yakutia’s military was primarily focused on the Mongols. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like they’ll be able to push through with all those Boer units in the way. Though he himself still has a substantial military, Genghis Khan has lost a considerable number of cities to Korea, Finland, and Yakutia. His best bet at the moment would be to make peace with his enemies - particularly, those who are actually bombing his cities to rubble and not so much the Blackfoot - and carpet up again so that he can hopefully last until he reaches the end of the tech tree with everyone else.

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Meanwhile, a lone Finnish Machine Gun garrison bravely defends Khoro, the only thing keeping it safe from the wrath of Sibir being the thin line of Mongol hexes next to Mandalgovi. Should Sibir actually manage to break through the stalemate at Amga, things are going to get real confusing real quick between the Yakut, Sibir, and Finnish forces flipping cities left and right.

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A lone Canadian destroyer wanders the North Sea, trying to navigate through the massive carpets of ships from both Sweden and Iceland. Looking at this screenshot, I feel like, were Sweden not preoccupied with a Boer problem right now, they could probably take a few British Isle cities off of Iceland. Iceland’s land carpet in this area of the cylinder is not looking as intimidating as it once was, and by the looks of things, a lot of their ships are Carriers which couldn’t hope to stand up to the massive fleet of Advanced Destroyers at their door. Perhaps to make up for their ally’s’ meager defenses, Australia has based a number of its units in Ireland and Cornwall.

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HOLY FINNISH COUNTEROFFENSIVE, BATMAN! Proving they’re not out of the game just yet, Finland launches a massive assault against both Sweden and Sibir, retaking their capital and putting pressure on Sibir. Unfortunately for them, this will probably do little to deter the massive wave of Sibir troops poised to strike right outside of Moscow and Kiev, but it’s very clear that the war is just getting started.

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On the Scandinavian front, a group of Finnish units applies pressure to the longtime Swedish city of Turku while Swedish Advanced Destroyers stand by for another strike at Helsinki. Both forces are weakened considerably, but I wouldn’t say that neither has the advantage over the other. Currently, Finland has a greater number of strong melee units on the frontline. Should they continue to apply pressure to Turku and defend their capital, they may eventually be able to come out on top.

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Similarly, their prospects on the Anatolian front look good. They have taken Tigranocerta, and with minimal Sibir reinforcements in sight, Finnish hold on the peninsula looks almost absolute. Meanwhile, a brave Swedish tank launches an incursion into Ohrid and manages to retake it from the Boers. Judging by the growing Boer forces outside Messene, it doesn’t look like this Swedish counterassault will hold up for that much longer.

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The Siberian front, on the other hand, looks to swing the way of Sibir. Though the corridor of Finnish cities sticks like a knife into the heart of Sibir, look at all those units! As more Sibir units pour in from the north, Kekkonen is going to have a considerably harder time defending this corridor - doubly so if Kuchum Khan decides to use that nuclear weaponry

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Look at all those nuked tiles! Nuclear weapons continue to rain from the skies, transforming the Siberian wastelands into just that - wastelands. No doubt, this is the most devastating war that has swept through Europe yet. Based on the amount of cities sitting at 0 health, it seems fair to say that this devastation isn’t likely to stop any time soon. It’s screenshots like this that make a man question the morality of killing millions of virtual people in a computer simulation.

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Sweden appears similarly devastated, its core cities heavily pillaged from atomic fire. This will definitely hamper Sweden’s production, thus hurting their war effort. Meanwhile, the Norwegian subjects of the Swedish Empire, as of yet unaffected by the brutality of the war, sleep soundly and remember a day in which they weren’t a part of a warmongering civilization.

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Almost immediately after retaking Cebu and Caloocan, Vietnam loses them to Australian Advanced Destroyers, along with the mainland city of Vigan. This is bad for Vietnam. Slowly but surely, they’re running out of naval defenses while Australia just keeps sending in more and more from their massive carpet of death in the Pacific. If Vietnam, beleaguered with their war against Sibir, doesn’t make peace with Australia soon, they could very well start to lose some of their most valuable coastal cities. Meanwhile, realizing that there’s no way he’ll ever be able to fight a naval war again, Benito Juarez gives up on his ambitions for conquering the last Hawaiian island.

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As the Vietnam-Sibir conflict continues to grind on in the background, Tibet finally enters into the Modern Era, making them I believe the final civ on the cylinder to do so. Enemies of Tibet beware: it’ll be slightly more difficult to eliminate them now! Meanwhile, the Vietnamese units surrounding the city-state give a hearty chuckle at the news before getting back to work looking intimidating

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There’s Vietnam’s navy! It was over in the Indian Ocean the entire time! As Vietnam sends more embarked units into the meatgrinder at Borneo, one wonders why it isn’t over there helping repel Australian naval forces. It would behoove Vietnam to get open borders with the Kimberley as soon as possible so they can- Wait, they have a canal city at Mandalay? Then why aren’t they sending more naval forces?! Meanwhile, a Buccaneer frigate navigates the Indonesian isles. I’m gonna go ahead and assume that’s the Black Pearl en route for Singapore so that the crew on board can get the charts needed to find their friend Jack Spar-oh wait, I forgot that nobody really liked the third movie.

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The World Congress passes an embargo against Iceland, making their sparse military situation all the more difficult to remedy. And as we can see in this screenshot, the situation isn’t much better in their French territories than in the British Isles. Australian and Finnish forces outnumber the amount of land forces in this part of the Icelandic Empire, and they’re currently fighting a WAR in Icelandic territory! Iceland needs to carpet up and fast, before their neighbors take advantage of their predicament.

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Brazil indeed presses on in their war against Chile, taking Valdivia with a paratrooper. This is bad for Chile; the only melee unit they have left is the Marine unit stationed outside of Valdivia. Once that unit is finished, there is nothing stopping Brazil from taking at least the final two cities on the Southern Cone… except for the mountainous terrain which makes the cities only approachable by sea… and the remaining Chilean naval units which will make any embarked assault hell… and the lack of Brazilian naval units with which to support their embarked assau-You know what, never mind. There is a lot that could stop Brazil from any further Chilean gains.

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Unfortunately for Sibir and Sweden, the other embargo on the World Congress’ agenda - the one against Finland - was rejected. Also pictured is a considerable contingent of the Brazilian military in the Siberian wastes for whatever reason. Either they’re gearing up to snipe some random city from Finland, Sibir, or Mongolia or they’re just visiting Yakutia because they want to see the Great Wall. Either way - Guys, Chile’s the other way.

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This screenshot looks like something from a cyberpunk novel: A lone soldier dressed in the attire of a military class long faded from the collective consciousness wanders the technologically-swamped streets of a futuristic city, unaware that there is a major power out there that wants him dead. I’m not sure what exactly Krueger‘s problem is with the Knights of the Maond Table and their affiliated Chinese units. Perhaps he realizes that even if he’s number one in the Power Rankings, he’ll never be the meme epicenter of the CBR and wishes to rectify that.

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Semiramis uncovers a more relevant plot, revealing that the Inuit look to finish what Chile and the Blackfoot started and eliminate Hawaii. Such a war would be a walk in the park for them, but I don’t believe they’ll actually go through with it. After all, they’d eliminate a civ and suffer the warmonger penalties that would go with it, invoking the ire of… Well, no one that could do any massive damage to them in the long run. I suppose there’s no real downside after all.

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Meanwhile, Ishtar uncovers a Brazilian plot to sink the remainder of the Canadian fleet with… what, exactly? Would they just throw embarked unit after embarked unit at a Canadian ship until it sinks?

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CARRRRRRRIER COLONIES! Yarr, that be right, lads ‘n’ lasses, it be Buccaneer time! The Buccaneers have managed to take Guadalajarrrrra again and have sent a Paratrooper north to hopefully slip into a weakened Ciudad Juarrrrrrez. Will it happen? Probably not, but hey - it could just be that my eyes are being fooled by the copious amounts of carriers around their core, but did the Buccs build more land units? It’s a step in the right direction, at least.

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THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN! Pulling an Armenia, Afghanistan sends in a paratrooper to seize the faraway Sibir city of Gyumri. It’s not as reliable a survival bunker as Arctic colonies, but hey, you take what you get.

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I’ve gotta hand it to Finland, they’ve managed to mount a powerful resistance against the joint Sibir-Swedish attack. Expanding the Finnish corridor, they’ve managed to beat back Sibir forces from the north. Meanwhile, they continue to fight tooth and nail in their core territories, retaking Helsinki for the umpteenth time and checking a Sibir offensive just outside of Tampere. It may just be that Finland ends up coming out of this with more gains than losses.

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Oops, spoke too soon. Sweden makes another push forward again, retaking Adrianople and Constantinople, as well as Helsinki and Espoo offscreen. Also, by the looks of things, they’re gearing up for a counterattack against the Boers. This confrontation right here might decide the outcome of the game. The Boers have grown powerful not entirely because of their military might, but also due to circumstance. Because they were more technologically advanced than their neighbors, they were able to blitz right in with the full brunt of their military. But here, they’re fighting against a technologically-advanced civ far away from Africa with only XCOMs, Paratroopers, and Chimeras.

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This could be Sweden’s Jan III Sobieski moment. If they fail, then the Boers eventually come to dominate all of Europe, and with it, its production, making them practically insurmountable. If they, succeed, however, they free Europe from threat of outside invasion… At least until the Boers try again.

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A Moroccan Great Prophet, moving past waves of Ethiopian airborne infantry, travels the desert, seeking to enlighten anyone that he can of Oriental Orthodoxy’s message of peace in these dark times. Hawaiian troops, having traveled halfway across the globe to hear his sermons, travel through the desert as well in search of him.

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Further south, our friends the Ashanti Pikeman and Moroccan Musketman continue to laze their days away in two of the lakes that dot the Boer lands. Both remember a day when global politics weren’t so tense - especially the Ashanti Pikeman, who breaks into a cold sweat when he noticies that he’s flanked by two Boer Hovertanks.

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Poor Israel. Persia surely meant well when reviving them (or merely did it as a way of complicating their war with Sparta), but now the Israelis sit in the desert, only five tiles to their name and surrounded by civs who could crush them in the blink of an eye. I’d rather take elimination over a fate like this. Eh. At least they have a kibbutz going for them.

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Vietnam makes another major push, retaking Vigan and Cebu as well as Manila, which has been Australian for a few turns now. The dedication the Vietnamese are bringing to this war is certainly admirable, but these cities will likely flip back to the Australians next turn. The Australians continue to threaten the former Champa capital Panduranga, but now, looking at this screenshot, we can also tell that another Champa city, Kauthara is being softened up for an invasion as well. Vietnam had better watch out.

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In Central Asia, the Sibir Khanate is losing some ground. Pressing on from Urgench, the Vietnamese take the city of Nishapur while from their Persian holdings, they launch a successful assault on the totally-Sibir city of Carrollton. Sibir forces, meanwhile, are still trying but failing to take the Afghan capital of Kabul. The more slides I see of Sibir and their wars, the more I’m beginning to think that they bit off a bit more than they could chew here…

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Like other civilizations in the past that have had nothing left to lose (and America), the Tibetans decide to adopt Freedom as their ideology. Perhaps it wasn’t in their best interest to go this route; they decided to become a Freedom civilization while surrounded by an Autocracy civilization which, up to this point, has allowed them to survive as an act of mercy alone. Any more wrong moves on Tibet’s behalf and they are screwed.

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At last, we get a substantial shot of White Walker forces, and Christ, do they look terrifying. The Inuit are fielding Robot Infantry, BioTroopers, and Giant Death Robots, all three of which are at the end of their unit types’ respective upgrade trees. It honestly surprises me that they haven’t taken advantage of the chaos in Mexico yet. They could very easily make gains that would further build their insane levels of production (hinthint: PETRA) and set themselves up for further conquest southwards. They had better act soon, or else there will be nothing left for them.

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Ah, the Arctic: the prime gathering place for civs, whether they be alive, dying, or dead. As a Brazilian Submarine and hijacked Escuadra Nacional patrol the frigid waters for Chilean ships, a group of Persian Carrier Colonies make their way as southward as possible to avoid the chaos that the world wars have brought. Their inhabitants fondly remember a day when they could actually live on solid ground and not on a ship the size of a small town, cut off from the rest of the cylinder.

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The Buccaneers push on Ciudad Juarez, capturing it with the aforementioned Power Armor Infantry. They had better send up some melee reinforcements soon. Once that Power Armor Infantry is lost if/when Ciudad Juarez flips, they’ll only have that damaged Paratrooper left to retake the capital with. Also, what happened to their naval assault on Monterrey? Get it together, Henry Morgan, jeez!

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So get this: not only do the Afghanis hold Gyumri, but they also look poised to take Yerevantashat with their Paratroopers as well! There’s a lot that can be said for a civ who knows how to use Paratroopers to capture cities multiple tiles away from their own territory, especially one that’s in such dire straits as Afghanistan. What would be interesting right now is if Armenia jumped on board the Sibir hate train. They have a (narrow) window of opportunity ala Texas in which they can easily capture one to three cities if they maneuver their forces just right, and with the massive amount of Finnish/Vietnamese/Afghani coalition forces in the area, it is likely that they would be able to hold these cities. Will Armenia make a comeback?

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The legacy of the Finnish Paratruuper lives on as one manages to make its way into the far-flung Central Asian city of Hrazdan. This will considerably disrupt the Sibir war effort in Afghanistan, as now they will need to retake the city to ensure that their route to Kabul is secure. By the looks of things, Finland’s AI is working in tandem with both the Vietnamese and the Afghanis to ensure the defeat of Sibir, launching raids and incursions on the Eastern Front to make things easier for the latter two… Or it could just be their AI wanting more exclaves. Who knows?

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As Australia manages to swipe Ambon and Panduranga from Vietnam offscreen (I told you about the Advanced Destroyers, bro! I warned you, dog!), the Balkan front- oh my. Ohhhhh my. Formerly the heart of the Spartan Empire, this area of the cylinder is currently nothing but a bombed-out husk of its former self. Sweden and the Boers continue to fight bitterly for these cities. Sweden is doing a commendable job, continuing to hold the line up north and holding onto Constantinople in the south. Is it just me, or are the Boers not doing too hot right now? Their XCOM carpet seems to have run out of steam...

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For some reason, a good chunk of the Brazilian military and navy is positioned near the heart of the Boers’ territory… with two atomic bombs on one of their Carriers. Uhh, Pedro? Care to tell us what in the hell you’re doing? Don’t be rash now; all those forces could easily be repurposed against Chile… [nervous laughter]

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Mexico moves up more of their forces to retake their capital and presumably push even harder against the invading forces. A lone Buccaneer paratrooper by the name of Leeroy Jenkins, refusing to wait for reinforcements, makes a mad dash for Ciudad Juarez, hoping to take it himself. Unfortunately, in doing so, he just opened up a way for Mexican melee units to get back Guadalajara. God damn it, Leeroy.

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Jesus… It seems the recent Vietnamese nuking of Windjana had severe effects on Australian civilians. Some that survived appear to have turned into… something that’s not quite human, and the Australian military is now trying to harness their powers. Pour souls.

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Looking at our most recent round of espionage… Damn, the larger civs really have it out for dead civs’ units, don’t they? I guess it’s too bad for them that they’re not able to declare war and finish the job.

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While it seems unlikely now that Afghani forces will be able to take Yerevantashat, another group of Afghani paratroopers swoop in to take Carrollton. Props to Afghanistan for managing to be this much of a nuisance to a top ten power, even they remain at a disadvantage technologically. Also, surprisingly, Vietnam has not made a move for Artashat there, even though one of their workers has ended up on a tile right next to the city, saving a spot for a paratrooper. They better act fast, before they lose that worker and Ethiopian units completely swamp the city limits. Wait a moment, is that…?

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HYPE! Korea hops on the bandwagon and declares war on Sibir! Unfortunately, it looks like there’s a Mongolia in the way. How much Korea impacts the outcome of this war, then, depends on how many of their XCOMs they’re willing to commit to it. In either case, this is not good for Kuchum Khan. The more enemies that Sibir makes, the harder it will be for them to come out of their multi-front war as strong as they were before. He needs to make peace with Finland or Vietnam, and quick.

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With this DoW, TPang takes the time to remind us that the Korean core looks really, really scary. Robot Infantry, Giant Death Robots, and Hovertanks - oh my! That being said, it’s confusing that Korea would decide to go to war with Sibir rather than take a juicy, weakened piece of Australian territory lying right at their doorstep. Presumably, it’s the sheer military manpower that Australia has lying in the Pacific acting as a deterrent to Korea, but if the Australians barely think to move it, what are the Koreans so worried about? The AI works in mysterious ways.

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The brutal fight over the Finnish corridor continues as Kekkonen launches another offensive against Sibir aimed at further expanding it. At this point, both militaries look rather ragged; most of their units are in the yellow or lower, many of which are melee units. Similar to the other fronts he’s fighting on, Kuchum Khan isn’t doing as well on this one anymore. With each counteroffensive, the Finns take more and more cities off of him. If this continues, he’ll eventually be rolled back to where he was before his war with the USSR.

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Meanwhile, the Finns apply pressure to Sweden, hitting their flank in Poland by taking Warsaw and sending in a Paratrooper to potentially walk into Lodz. Unfortunately for them, it doesn’t seem like these moves will have any real effect. Sweden is likely to recapture Warsaw with their nearby Mobile SAM, and even if Lodz is lost, that can easily be retaken too.

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And wouldn’t you know it, Sweden retakes Warsaw, along with their Polish outpost of Gdansk and a few other Finnish cities. This war was a grudge match a long time in the making between two of the strongest, if not the two strongest, European powers in the CBR, and boy, is it delivering in spades. We all knew it would be an even fight with a lot of cities flipped, but this is brutal. Whoever winds up winning, if there is a winner in this war, will still end up with their core cities utterly wrecked. Talk about a pyrrhic victory.

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Woah, where’d all this come from? Sometime between when we last saw Chile and now, they’ve managed to pop out a few more melee units, namely a Modern Armor and an Infantry. Both units, under the protection of Carriers, seem to be heading to Valdivia to retake the city from the Brazilians. Will they be able to get there before the Brazilians properly reinforce their newly-acquired lands?

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Vietnam retakes a few cities from Australia, including Panduranga, which, if you will recall, was once at 26 population earlier this part. No longer. What was once a glorious capital city under the Champa has turned into an overglorified Pokemon GO gym, something to be flipped between two rival teams over and over and over and over again. With no Australian ships in sight and a small fleet of Vietnamese submarines defending, hopefully this is the last time we will see this city flip.

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With one big bite, Sibir swallows up (most of) the Finnish corridor. Aesthetically speaking, ouch. Look at the amount of dark grey that just got added to the minimap. You’d not be blamed for thinking that Finland were done for, buuuut…

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...They are still very much Finn it to win it. Most of the cities taken are still at a relatively low health, and there are plenty of Finnish melee units around to take them back. Not only that, but other cities that Sibir currently hold as far as Attila’s Court are looking pretty weak at the moment. If Finland has them in it for another massive counteroffensive, they could very well knock Sibir on their ass.

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Further south, the Finns occupy Yerevantashat just as Sibir forces retake Carrollton, Hrazdan, and Nishapur. Something tells me that by the time this is all over, we’re going to be seeing some ugly border gore in Central Asia and/or the Caucasus. Miraculously for Afghanistan, Sibir still has not managed to send in enough forces to take Kabul. That Afghan UA is a lifesaver. Meanwhile, Ethiopian units continue to flood the Middle East, now occupying the Afghan exclave of Gyumri. Judging by their past warmongering record, I don’t think it’s fair to say that they’re peacekeepers. Perhaps they too could join in on the action? Take some exclaves off of Finland’s hands? *coughcoughBATTICALOAcough*

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Press F to pay respects to one Leeroy Jenkins, the stupid brave Buccaneer paratrooper who foolishly valiantly charged headlong into danger in an attempt to seize Ciudad Juarez. May he RIP in peace. The Mexican war effort, all things considered, is going okay. The situation against the Australians has grown a little more dire with Drone Fighters now at the front, but by the looks of things, Mexico at least has Texas under control. A Mexican Mobile SAM sits ominously two tiles away from the Texan capital of Austin with supporting Rocket Artillery closeby. Unless Mexico slips into old habits and starts downing bottles of tequila again, there is no way they can screw this up.

73

Meanwhile, to the north, we’ve got the Blackfoot. Poor, poor Blackfoot. They still haven’t entirely recovered from their war with Mexico, as evidenced by the swathes of fallout that still cover their land, and even when they do, what then? Declare war on Mexico again? At this point in the game, the Blackfoot have extremely limited opportunities for expansion. Every other civ that they neighbor, from their core to their Pacific outposts, is a great power. That isn’t exactly a very enviable position. Where’s that Paratrooper carpet when they need it most?

74

Surprising as it may seem, no nukes have yet been exchanged between Vietnam and Sibir in their war. That doesn’t mean that neither side is planning to, as evidenced in this slide. Of the 10 aircraft stored in the Sibir city of Wuppertal (I dunno why but I find that name absolutely hilarious), a staggering 7 are loaded up with atomic bombs ready to be dropped presumably on the advancing Vietnamese forces from the south, should Kuchum Khan deem it necessary. Judging by how close Tyumen and Bamda are to falling, that may come sooner rather than later.

75

A lone Boer XCOM unit stands at the gates of Constantinople, prepared to conquer it the way a certain modded Turkish civ leader from JFD might were he in the game. Supporting them in their conquest is a Finnish Mech Artillery and Great Musician (the latter, I’d like to imagine, has brought an entire orchestra to the frontlines to play some dramatic music). I don’t understand how Sweden has managed to put up such a valiant defense of Constantinople for this long. Though it’s been cut off from the rest of their territories for a while now, they’ve still managed to send in units to flip and defend it. Never underestimate the Lion of the North, I guess.

76

As the Second Great Pacific War rages all around them, the Kimberley sit on the sidelines, hoping neither Australia nor Vietnam notices. Since the end of the first Great Pacific War, in which they lost all of their core territories to Australia, the Kimberley have had a middling time in the BR. Their latest attempt at actual expansion against Sri Lanka was thoroughly cockblocked by Australia, essentially locking them down to their home base in former Indonesian territory for the forseeable future. Still, they have done a good job at trying to move ahead in military tech regardless, and now they have Atomic Bombs, ensuring that any great power who dares to mess with them won’t get away with it without a severe case of nuclear winter on their hands.

77

Chile continues its noble defense of its final territories, managing to land its Modern Armor a mere two tiles away from Valdivia. All Brazil had nearby to counter this is… a wounded Paratrooper unit and a Drone UAV. Meanwhile, Brazilian embarked units to the north are, of course, getting pounded by Chilean Nuclear Subs. Bless Brazil, they’re trying to keep this conquest going. They really are. Unfortunately for them, their means of doing so might eventually put their AI in a situation where they think it’s fine to make peace with the Chileans due to all the embarked units they’ve lost!

78

Speaking of Brazil, their vacationing forces in Siberia happen to wander upon the continuing stalemate that is Yakutia against Sibir. The two once-sleeping civs aren’t giving each other an inch, pounding each others’ cities from across the mountain range that divides them. What I don’t understand is Yakutia’s choice in embarked units. They have the right idea in protecting their embarked units with naval units, but the embarked units - Drone UAVs - will do no good in capturing cities. The front could be theirs if they decide to send in their Marines.

79

Right as Finland makes separate peace with Sweden, a Finnish XCOM unit seizes the Sibir city of Bamda from Sibir. For Sibir, this is a minor annoyance at worst. But judging by the minimap, that’s not all that the Finns have taken…

80

In securing a separate peace with Sweden, Kekkonen has managed to regain his hold over Constantinople, Adrianople, Poznan, Nicaea, Helsinki - basically almost all of Finland’s pre-war cities in the west. The only city that Sweden managed to gain out the entire ordeal is Espoo. Taking their ongoing war with the Boers into account, that’s a net city gain of -3 cities. Yikes. But in even better news for Finland…

81

Kekkonen has managed to blow the previously-swallowed Finnish corridor wide open. This is the furthest advance that we’ve seen yet by Finland in their war against Sibir, and if they are able to take advantage of this with the units they’ve freed up by making peace with Sweden, this could put Kuchum Khan in a dire position. The biggest advantage that Sibir has at the moment is their concentration of forces in both the south and the north. If Kuchum is able to make a solid defense against the advancing Finnish troops in the south along with a solid offensive to retake all of the flipped Finnish cities in the north, he might be able to bounce back yet.

82

In the midst of all this war is the Great Dvinate of Sparta. A shell of its former self, the once great warmongering nation has renounced warmongering forever, making peace with their eternal foe, the dreaded Armenians. All the citizens of Sparta can do now is sit in silence on the world stage, remember a day when their empire once spanned all the way from Rome to Jerusalem, and wait for a larger civ to come in and conquer them as they did Rome and Poland.

83

Upon receiving word that Armenia has agreed to a peace deal, Bernardo O’Higgins is overcome with joy and, in celebration, immediately orders a new offensive to retake Valdivia, and retake it Chile does! Not only have they managed to retake the city, but they’ve also landed two (albiet weakened) Infantry units nearby as well. All Pedro has in the area with which to flip it back (in spite of his embarkation efforts) is a singular Paratrooper unit. O’Higgins may very well hold off certain destruction yet.

84

By the power of TPang, I give you the cylinder - ON ITS SIDE! Haha, yes, just when you thought there wouldn’t be any rotated angle shots in this week’s part, TPang throws them right in at the end. Anyways, looking at the ongoing Mexican gangbang from this perspective, not much has changed, although Texas now definitely looks like they’re in a far more precarious position with a Mechanized Infantry poised to strike from two tiles away. The Buccs, meanwhile, still haven’t sent any forces up north to continue their war against Mexico, although the Mexicans haven’t sent anything to retake Guadalajara either. All‘s quiet on that front, I guess.

85

Meanwhile, in this tilted shot of the Eastern Front of the Vietnamese-Sibir War, we can see that Vietnam certainly has the military advantage here… unless you take into account the fact that most of their units on the frontlines can’t take cities. Sibir has a greater number of melee units on the frontlines… although based on this shot, they have more workers in this area than they even do military units. In conclusion, the war between Vietnam and Sibir is still very much a stalemate. If either side makes gains off of one another in the end, they’re bound to be minimal.

86

Back to a normal shot, we see the ravaged core of Sweden in the aftermath of their conflict with Finland. Their lands are burning and covered in fallout and their people are starving. However, the Lion of the North still has one final challenge awaiting him in the Balkans...

87

...IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE CIVILIZATION V BATTLE ROYALE MK. II! Now for InfoAddict! Unsurprisingly, Australia are still in the lead for land area. Notably, Sibir has been taken down a few pegs due to their recent wars.

88

The smallest civs are, unsurprisingly, the city-states, namely Israel and Tibet. Other city states, however - namely, Japan and Hawaii - have a considerable amount of land area, probably because the game is taking into account all the water tiles they own too.

89

The top four military powers remain the same from last week’s part. However, Sibir, again, has taken a huge hit in the rankings - as has Finland, though to a lesser extent - due to all their wars.

90

For the most part, things remain the same in terms of most technologies discovered. Yakutia will probably fall a few ranks within the next few parts, though, once the full effect of their lost territories is felt.

91

While Australia and the Inuit are neck-and-neck for city total, the Boers slide into third place!... with 35 cities less. That just goes to show how expansive the former two are!

92

Unsurprisingly, all the city-states are once again at the bottom and- woah wait, Chile have FIVE cities left? Oh, yeah, I forgot about that Arctic colony…

93

The Boers are, of course, the masters of science, followed by the Inuit and Australia. It surprises me, though, that in spite of all that science being generated, the Australians are still struggling to keep up with Iceland and Korea, who have a meager science output by comparison. I guess that goes to show how annoying those city penalties to science can be.

94

Catholicism remains the dominant religion in the world in terms of both cities following and followers. That’s what happens when you’re the only religion founded on your landmass, I suppose. Meanwhile, Islam… well, it’s still Islam. Nine followers’ worth of Islam.

95

Finally, we end the part with our religion map Oriental Orthodox dominates Africa, Judaism dominates Europe and the Middle East, and Catholicism dominates the Americas. Asia, meanwhile, remains a battleground of the faiths, with Shinto, Akkat-u, and Buddhism all competing for influence. Thank you all for joining me for another part of the Civilization V Battle Royale Mk. II! I’ve been your host, /u/sonicnerd23, and remember: DON’T EMBARK YOUR UNITS WITHOUT A NAVAL ESCORT! Have a good one, everybody!

Part 67: The Kekkoning – mk2

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