Part 68: Totally Not A Dystopia

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Boy do we have a part for you today...This part took a lot longer to record than I originally thought necessary. I delivered this part to the narrators a lot later than usual, because it took a while to determine how I‘d be presenting the weird order of the things that happened in this part. There are so many small and interesting things that happen all with strange implications for the in-game lore, and the culmination of it all in the closing few slides will reaffirm how dynamically obscure and amazing this game can be at times. A coalition of /u/GreatFanBR, /u/TPangolin and mostly /u/TA_Knight will cover the events seen here today from brilliant anal...analytical perspective. Enjoy :)

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By /u/Spehrical_Melon: ”In the waters of Lake Tanganyika, the lone Ashanti Pikeman encounters the pinnacle of human technology: Kruger‘s GDRs. [...] The sun beset on all sides by crimson still manages to shine, although the thick clouts of ash and particles on a global migration in the aftermath of ongoing foreign nuclear devastation makes the task more difficult.”

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Throughout its history the ancient Roman capital has seen many invasions. This capture made Iceland the fourth civilisation to control it. Here we see two Icelandic special forces securing the streets as the city is bombed by retreating Spartan artillery. Be sure to check out is /u/Sittingonchairs1‘s ‘Depictions of key moments in the world war so far‘. For more, check out: http://imgur.com/a/bAEU9

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The cartographical society of the cylinder seems to be working in full effect with the amazing team behind World Map team delivering another map part.

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The Boers retain top spot in our Power Rankings yet again.

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We start off with the Finland-Sibir front, with Finland going first, taking multiple cities such as Kiev, Tashkent and Morella. Finnish XCOMs also strafe the Vietnamese border, taking Hrazdran, one the cities right on Afghanistan‘s borders. You have to admire Finland, as despite major hits to their core as well as a lot of military, Finland is still bringing units from the south and Yakutia to attack Sibir despite Sibir breathing down on the northern front.

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As said, the northern front is a whole another story, as Finland is very sparse here, and the Finnish navy is wiped clean. Neither side is saving up on nukes however.

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Sweden is gearing up for a counter-attack against the Boers, who found out their limits. Moving an attacking army all the way from Africa though both Ethiopian and Finnish lands is a difficult task for any AI, even for the Boers. Sweden dares to hold hope to restore their former glory and become the lion of the north once again, now between a nuked Finland and sparse Iceland.

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Mexico does not give up. Despite in war with both Australia and the Buccaneers, Mexico finds the time to attack and take Austin, as well as prepare an attack to take the shore once again. It was bound to happen to Texas some time, they should‘ve seeked a peace deal a long time ago since they took Laredo and lost their carpet, but i guess it wasnt possible, and now they are paying the price.

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Australia takes Monterrey using a Caravel, but Torreon falls to the north. Australia still holds a force at Mexico from when they sent a surprise attack, but Mexico is starting to recover from the nukes and is now starting to build the beginning of a carpet. Some Australian reinforcements are necessary if Australia wants to hold the cities, since the Buccaneers arent proving much of a distraction any more.

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Vietnam has nuked the Australian city of Tabuk off the map near the end of last part, and theres now a hole in the Australian borders. Looks like it was a newer city, though, as it only held 7 tiles to its name. Still, though, city is a city for the Deity AI.

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Sibir shows they can play the nuking game too! Alongside with felling San Bartolo, Kouvola, Stalingrad, Yeravantashat, Morella and Bamba, Sibir nukes Kiev off the map! Vietnam tries to make an impression on the war against Sibir, and flips Carrollton.

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A shot of Sibirian interior shows just how much the situation has changed, Sibir has lost most of their carpet and is operating on produced army to defend itself. However, Sibir has a lot of workers, which are constantly fixing damages caused by nukes, and Finland has sure to fire as well as receive a lot of them.

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Valdivia is still a flipping point as Brazil takes it again, but Chilean infantry surround the city. Looks like Chile is using Arica and Talca smartly, as despite them being blocked off by mountains, they are still producing units to protect Valdivia, by the use of unit catapulting, which is the term for AI producing units to the nearest available spot, which in this case, over the mountains. Chile‘s defence is seen as valiant by some, but unfortunately wasteful to others.

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The Boer cities are glowing with radiation and lack units, but are still holding. This can be partly attributed to the wonders the Boers built, such as a the Pholus Mutagen, which functions as a modern Great Wall. Some military build up can be seen to the south as well. Also in this shot are the Finnish cities, who are all on red health, a testament to the aerial power of Sibir

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Another city lost next part, with Finland nuking the Sibirian city of Lahaina to oblivion. This city was settled around part 55, and as you can see only held 4 tiles of territory. Kiev was certainly a pay back for this city.

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Korea sends off their XCOMs for adventures in Sibirian territory. flipping Nishapur, also on the Vietnamese border. Seems like third party nations are more of an action on the Vietnamese front than Vietnam themselves. Bombers can only go so far.

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Sibir and Finland peace out.. In an... interesting turn of events, Sibir and Finland peace out on Sibir‘s turn, which means Finland freely captured a number of cities without fear of a counter attack. Finland captures 4 cities along the borders, being Tyumen, Yerevantashat, UFA and Stalingrad.

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San Bartolo is nuked out of the game as well, originally a Finnish city at the start of the war, but was captured by Sibir and nuked by Finland.

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The Tri-border between Vietnam, Sibir and Finland (which you can also see that Sibir flipped Carrollton back from Vietnam) became a complete border gore as units and cities from all civilizations reside in the area. Its hard to say exactly who won in the war with Finland and Sibir, as multiple cities were lost and gained across Asia, with Sibir eating a lot of northern Finland, and Finland gaining in some cities to the south as well as multiple cities across the Vietnamese border. One thing for sure, though, as Finland made a laugh out of Sibir, a very strong contender, by dancing circles around Sibir, flipping and capturing many cities while Sibir was focusing on Vietnam. Analysis afterward should say the general city gain across the entire war.

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Mexico takes Monterrey but loses Austin to the remaining of Texan resistance, which is now an almost-dead AA gun. Texas is pretty much about to hit the floor, all Mexico needs is to move a few units in. a few units which are busy fighting back Australia.

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Vietnam directs another slew of units at Australia, but its composed mostly of ranged and embarked units, with only 5 melee embarked units visible across the front. Vietnam is strong, but their biggest enemy is their own unit biases.

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Valdivia is retaken again, but notably Brazil nukes Copiapo, bringing it down from 41 population to 36! Nuking island cities is pretty useless though, as there are little tiles to pillage and place fallout on.

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The Swedish counter-attack moves on, taking back Corinth from the Boers. The Boers are still moving units though, but the Swedish air force is taking them down as they come.

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Sibir losing Hrazdan means that Sibir cannot take their frustration on Afghanistan as they are now blocked. Instead they have the flipping war with Vietnam and Korea to deal with as Nishapur is taken by Sibir, but Vietnam flips Urgench and Carrollton.

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The Buccaneer front against Mexico clears out, as the message is heard though out the Cylinder: The Boers have declared war on the Buccaneers. May the Great Pangolin in the Sky have mercy.

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Alongside with building the Sky city, a wonder which gives +5 happiness and +1 population in every city, the Boers decide that Sweden is too far, and declare war on the Buccaneers. No more annoying blockades, border gore and Finland taking enclaves in fucking everything, this is business time. The Boer core consists of many paratroopers (likely unupgraded due to low Nanomaterial reserves) and carriers, but also a ton of hover tanks and various top tech units. With a target like the Buccaneers, this is an excellent unit formation to attack them, as they can dispatch the naval units while sweeping though the undefended land cities. For more information about the wonder: http://i.imgur.com/KXCl22A.jpg

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But first off, Yakutia captures Beryozovo from Sibir. Im not sure how exactly, considering the peacekeeper units around the area, but they somehow did. Sibir will likely take it back with the nearby tank though.

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The Buccaneers take back Kumasi and Ka-Ba, but Gao and Quarzazate remain Boer as the Boers attack with a combination of Chimeras and Biodrones. The Buccaneer navy is moving around Africa, planning to hit the cities, but most cities are inland, so The Buccaneer navy is left to clash with Hover tanks and Carriers coming from the south.

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The Buccaneers are doing what they can, though, and send their navy to attack the Boer cities in the Mediterranean sea, the standing army in which was sent up to Sweden. Obviously, the Swedish front will no longer gain any reinforcements.

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As said, Sweden attacks the remaining cities. Sweden looks to actually come out the end of the wars with a net gain of a city or two, though not with out heavy loss of population and infrastructure.

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While Valdivia is flipping on its merry way, Brazil looks to take Copiapo, as well as nuke it again. No naval melee units in here, but only one embarked melee unit is enough, and there are several in range.

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Not much changes here, as only the Boers took their turn between this slide and the last one, but the Boer air force can be seen here at work, as they bombard several units out. Not enough to keep the cities though.

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Kumasi and Ka-Ba fall again to the Boers, but more importantly, Boer units are swarming the Buccaneer territory with Chimeras. The Buccaneers are forming a resistance of paratroopers, but it looks very inadequate.

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The Buccaneers nuked Denkyira at the start of the war, but the Boers have already cleaned a lot of the damage up. They will have to try much harder than that.

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Other nukes become apparent now, with the Buccaneers nuking Yeji as well, the Boers nuking Casablanca, while Gao couldve been nuked by either side, though likely the Buccaneers. The Buccaneers are trying to replicate Sweden, but it doesnt work when you can actually move units though.

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A lone Hawaiian general makes it all the way to the mystified city of Dvin though Ethiopia, heading for the convention of rump states. Paul Kruger notices the general, and vows to banish them from earth.

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The Vietnamese force flips My So‘n, but the force already looks much thinner than before. A settler is at the head of the operation, but it looks to have second thoughts.

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Cebu also falls to Vietnam, but Australia is also positioned nearby to retake it. A lone Australian Ironclad, who im not sure where Australia kept him at all this time, makes its way to Vigan, planning to flip it again. Despite this war going for multiple parts already, neither side is going to give up.

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If i had to guess, i would say Finland himself got nuked more than anything else. There cities with fallout around them than cities without. The city with most population in Finland in the image is Nicaea, at a pitiful 14 population. It will take a long while for Finland to recover.

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A shot of north eastern Sibir shows that they have already managed to regain Beryozovo. Mongolia and Sibir here are both at war with Yakutia, but its impossible to see exchange of warfare between Mongolia and Yakutia.

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Meji, the leader of Japan declares peace with Persia, and Hawaii, who is likely not led by Meji is the spotlight of this slide. Hawaii is attempting to build defenses, but theres no production to be found on an island city. There are also more carriers here than anything else. The Inuit seem to have something in plan here, as they move though Australian territory toward the south-west, in direction of possibly Kimberly. What are the planning?

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The Buccaneer navy makes their way southward as they let off another nuke at the Boers, this time at the city of Atebubu. The resident army doesnt seem to be knowledgeable of any nuke, though, as they march onward.

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The Boers simply push though Africa, taking Tangier and Fes. They may unite their European territories with Africa if they continue this way.

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They will have to fight though the Buccaneers to get to these, though, as Arretium and Panormus fall. Interestingly, The Boers recapture Ohrid from Sweden.

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It didnt take long for Tabuk to be replaced as Strangnas takes it place, with a name that seems to be of Icelandic origin. Vietnam doesnt stop nuking though, as they nuke Rubibi as they flip Ambon.

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Brazil did it! Copiapo falls, though at a loss of 33 population points, with the navy moving toward mainland Chile. A naval force from Iquique moves for a counter-attack, but its composed mainly from carriers and only has one destroyer.

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Mexico prepares to wipe Australia from the area for once and for all, though all they have are embarked units. Additional units also move around Austin to flank it, but its not like Texas has melee units any more.

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Afghanistan proves to be a stubborn bastard, flipping Nishapur after Korea landed Xcoms on it. Not that i would blame them, two parts ago they looked like they are going to fold like cardboard.

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As the Boer forces are advancing, a lone Buccaneer paratrooper lands in the middle of Boer territory. Not sure what it hoped to achieve, but he will be written in history as ‘That flying idiot‘. The Buccaneers also nuke Kumbi Saleh as they flip back Tangier and Fes.

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Carthage falls to the Buccaneers, but Boer reinforcements are already moving though Utique. Sweden found their lost strength, and take back Tegea. The Boers will have to fight though the Buccaneers if they want another shot at Sweden.

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Sibir is coming back online as they are now mostly focused on Vietnam. As a Korea breaks the world‘s record in long jumping, Sibir moves against Ghazni, trying to even the score against Vietnam, currently sitting at 0-2 for Vietnam.

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Brazil is planning against another rump state, Armenia, while they are busy clearing Chile. Armenia was up until recently the middle point in a brutal war of Finland against Sibir, but it now enjoys peace as Finland around them attempts to recover.

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Mexico takes Austin again, and now it looks like they wont lose it. Texas is one melee unit and a badly damaged city away from elimination, and with the Boers hot on the Buccaneers, it doesnt look like theres anyone to save them.

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The Inuit are plotting against Texas, but if they want it, they will need to act, and fast. The Blackfoot still boast an old paratrooper carpet, and it looks like they are moving some of it toward Yakutia. The Inuit are still relatively empty, but new units pop up all the time, justifying the Inuit‘s #4 rank at military strength.

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As if more peacekeeping units are needed on the Inuit-Yakutia front. Im not sure what in Yakutia‘s magic results that almost every war declared against it is a complete slagfest composed primarily of peacekeeper units.

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The Buccaneers see themselves clever, and manage to move in a missile cruiser with nukes in range of Ulundi. It would be completely ineffective and very unlikely to even succeed, but the Buccaneers do what the Buccaneers do - nuke random things.

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The Boers held a lot of aircraft in Europe, as can be seen here, and primarily contribute to the loss of the Buccaneer forces in the area, who held a lot of Advanced Destroyers in the start of the war and now less than 10 can be seen. Once the Boers are done with Africa, it wont take long for these cities to be reclaimed.

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Korea again flips a city, now Multan, sending XCOMs from Bamba. Thanks to Finnish captures Bamba remained secure, but they somehow scored open borders, and Sibirian units are moving though again, threatening the city. Vietnam.. well, there isnt much of a border any more.

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Sweden looks on a much better state than their neighbor Finland. Their core is mostly undamaged, and Sweden looks like they could take on Finland again should another war start. With the Boers busy elsewhere for now, better start it ASAP.

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Not much changes here, as Mexico and Texas dont appear to have taken their turn since last shot, but a rare Australian infantry appears on the horizon. Maybe captured with a privateer from Mexico?

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Sri Lanka appears again, and it looks like they finally found an air force, now owning 2 to 4 jet fighters, as well as some advanced destroyers. Unlike Tibet they still have some access to the outside world, but Ethiopia looks like a bad idea to attack.

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After sending everything they have at Sibir, south Finland is now empty except for some air force. Ethiopia will do good if they attack Finland here, considering Ethiopia already has carpet all around the area in neighboring cities.

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The Buccaners flipped Ka-Ba. Ciudad del Carmen and Antium, but Casablanca, Nuevitas, Tombouctu and Bimako and are ready to be encompassed by the encroachin‘ Boers. A Boer Great-Prophet is seen reassuring and inadvertantly demeaning the people of Ciudad del Carmen that all will be well. It‘s war. War is never well.

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A Mech Artillery with nuclear missiles comes south toward the Boers, but it doesnt seem necessary as Cumae is about to fall and Messene not long either. Maybe the nukes will be used to pelt the Boers across Finland, but im not sure if annoying the Boers will be a good idea since the Buccaneers are quickly losing ground. Antium also falls to the south to the Buccaneers, now the question that remains is how fast its going back Boers next part.

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Brazil takes Coiapo. The only hope of Chile are the mountains on Patagonia and the Guarded but Weak island of Iquique.

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Iceland holds a large stack of atomic bombs on the shore of Sweden. Starting a war here will be disastrous to Iceland though, as Swedish Advanced Destroyers are found all across the British Isles, and a nuking AI will end up nuking its own flipped cities.

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Here we take a peek at the Calm Inuit-Icelandic border with Vietnamese tourists.

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Inuit troops are starting to surround Blackfoot territory. Is there a plan here in place? Maybe we will figure out later. For now, we can see that the Blackfoot are developing an air force themselves, though not sure how effective it would be in the event of an Inuit invasion.

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Fes is taken by the Boers while the the Carpet intensfies. The Future of BuccAfrica is bleak.

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Whatever Buccaneer units remaining in Africa are wiped off as the Boers take 6 cities at the same time, showing their dominance. The Buccaneers are quickly losing ground, and its only a question of when, not if, the Buccaneers are banished to the Americas.

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Here we see the Ton of Nukes in BuccAfrica,with even more city flips. R.I.P BuccAfrica.

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The Boers, even averting a bit of the wake-up hype, are still on steady first. The Boers are filled with food; that means growth and even more Science that‘ll go....into more Future Tech. Somehow the frozen lands of The Inuits are booming with food, in second. I guess we can thank some dank engineers working on Hydroponics in the artic then. Australia gets the Bronze.

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The Inuit are using max production, that is every important, Boers in second and again,Australia gets the Bronze.

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Australia gets the gold medal in land, Inuit in second with almost all North America on it‘s land, and Boers on third, trying to get Europe.

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(Editor‘s Note: No narration on this slide.)

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Australia gets the gold medal in land, Inuit in second with almost all North America on it‘s land, and Boers on third, trying to get Europe.

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The Inuit are chilling with it‘s large number of cities,Henry Parkes on second and Surprisingly, Boers on Third.

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With it‘s food boom, Boers are on First. Inuit on second by the same reason,and Korea on Third,since they are Science focused.

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The Mexican pope is on first,while the Patriach of Addis Ababa takes the Second place and the City State of Gaza invites the Jewish people in Third.

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In the midst of the Ukrainian wasteland, a battlefield not only for nuclear warfare, but one of ancient religion; the rumours are true. A new city has emerged from the rubble of the nuclear devastation. The settlers are not from this place, but from the ancient far-east. A forgotten empire that used to span a large region of Asia. They were mighty and powerful, but this new world has reduced them to devastation and isolation. Refugees from the isolationists have settled anew in the midst of Nuclear fallout. Anything is more preferable to the life they had back at home. This was the unfortunate fate of this world. *Tibet has founded Nedong*

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We finish our part off with a lovely drawing by /u/laserosx! Join us more fore next week as the world devolves into further unfortunate chaos. The infinite universe theory tells us that the world currently being generated for the CBR is a real universe somewhere out there, so meet us again next week for further accurate reporting on this objectively dystopic confirmed reality! To them it‘s a depressing reality, but History Channel level entertainment to us. At least we can rest safe knowing that we are basically an exact replication of a CBR that was generated by another universe and that they use us as entertainment. All of that leads the panel of narrators here today that the lands of Panem and Mad Max are 100% real. Join us next week!

Part 68: Totally Not A Dystopia – mk2

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