Part 77: The Meiji Restoration

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Come one, come all to the r/Civ’s Civ Battle Royale! We are your emergency narrators, /u/_xSyracuse and /u/TechnostarBTD5, and we are pleased to welcome you to the 77th installment of the r/civ Battle Royale! There was a lot of, well, complications and what I (Syr) would call hair pullers for Tpang regarding this part, but alas, it’s finally out! *applause*. /u/_xSyracuse will be narrating the first half, and /u/TechnostarBTD5 is responsible for the content of the second half. Now, this isn’t a normal title slide, but after the death of everyone’s favorite anime producing city-state last time, it seems fitting to give Meiji yet another goodbye. If you have not done so, press F to pay your last respects for the dead. Also, take a look at a classic CBR sight now a days, Fallout covered mountains!

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We get another classic CBR sight: A Shitpost! This one was posted by /u/TheGreatFanBR, and captures the moment when our dear Meiji was slaughtered by the man that is totally not Gajah Mada in disguise.

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A quick look at the relationship graph shows us that SOPA 2.0 is in full swing! Currently, only Brazil, The Boers, The Inuit, and Finland care involved (excluding Mexico, since the Rum Drinkers attacked them). Also, off to the side of the living civs, it seems that civs with the main color of Orange or Red are currently holding a support group for being brutally destroyed in only a few parts. To bad Mexico couldn’t be in attendance, but they’re to busy drinking their radiated tequila. Don’t mind Iceland, however, I think they tripped and are laying unconscious or something.

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And with absolutely nobody being surprised, the Boers stay in first on the power rankings. Someone, anyone, if you’re surprised that the Orange menace is sticking in the number one position, shoot me a PM. I’ll start a discord chat. Or an Asylum.

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I nearly freaked out when I saw that this map freaking moved. It messed me up, man. Anyway, these are always super fun to watch, and if you watch less than 10 times you are seriously missing out on some important detail. Thanks /u/PablodiSplooge!

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I was waiting for this map to start moving too…. Anyway, this gorgeous map made by /u/Spherical_Melon (dang, he’s been getting a lot of shoutouts recently) shows all of the cities in sort of size, country, and capital status. The sheer amount of massive boer cities are unrivaled throughout the entire globe, with only the Inuit city of San Antonio currently even close to the metropolises of Bloemfontein, Kroonstad, and Mbanza-Kongo. Another thing to check out is the City Lore map. Nearly every city on the map has some sort of associated BR lore to it. If you‘re up for a fascinating read, check it out here: https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1YNKndaVvyekiJUkOWrUwiIi8EPs

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This picture of former Yakut lands shows how much of a dire position Yakutia is in. Both Mongolia, Korea, and the Inuit are closing in on their last few units, and with only a handful of melee units in sight, ya’ll may just need to prime your F keys.

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Let’s play a game: Who has more land units in this screenshot… The Blackfoot or the Inuit? Spoiler Alert: It’s the Blackfoot. In terms of navy, however, it’s obvious that the Inuit trump the Blackfoot, but I don’t see many melee ships either. I know the Inuit have monster production, but it’s funny seeing a top 3 power with barely enough units not to count on your fingers.

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If you have a drink nearby, especially an alcoholic one, be sure to raise to the fact that everyone’s two favorite alcohol consuming nations, Rum drinking Buccs and Tequila addict Mexico, have made peace! I think Benito Juarez (Mexico) and Captain Morgan (The Buccs) just needed a drinking buddy.

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However, Crowfoot of the Blackfoot may have a vendetta against Tequila, as Paratroopers keep flowing into Mexico’s borders. Mexico just can’t catch a break, it seems. I’ll start taking bets on where the first Blackfoot nuke will be dropped…

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Zooming In… it seems that Fallout is everywhere! Despite the high possibility that most of this fallout is old, if the small village of Ahahpitape was just nuked, I would not be surprised at all. The lack of nearly dead Blackfoot units suggests that this city either has been previously bombed from another war, or just nuked by Crowfoot’s planes. Let’s leave that up to the Staticians, however.

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Cincinnati, the home of that Gorilla, is being attacked by Inuit units, which will likely lead to an Inuit capture. However, it seems that the White Walkers are focusing their efforts on the former mega-city of Petit-Goave, the Buccaneer’s other American foothold. Also, take a moment to enjoy the fact that there is a near perfect circle of cities surrounding San Antonio. Simply gorgeous.

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Boer units are still attempting to recapture the Buccaneer African cities, but to little luck. Although part of the problem may be the sheer number of melee units being brought- which their numbers are minimal- I’m going to personally chalk it up to Morgan’s god-tier AI.

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Speaking of god, Captain Morgan is playing god with the inhabitants of the Brazilian city of Belem! When the fireball exploded over the city, the citizens certainly did meet their maker. Also, during the destruction of Belen, The Buccs gave Brazil the first of probably many fallout mountains, giving the citizens of Rio de Janeiro, Duque de Caxias, and Macebo their very own massive nightlight! Also, I’d like to point out that many of the cities in this slide (With the exception of Rio and Curitiba) all have pretty small population. However, I am starting to see the future worlds improvements going up, so that’s good news for Pedro II.

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The invasion has begun! Brazil is flinging all their paratroopers into Buccaneer Colombiarr, forcing the pirates to spend all their rum money on buying a unit in each city every single turn, now with 100% more Railgun Armor! I will also now begin taking bets on how many cities Pedro takes before he makes peace.

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Cusco is down to what can only be described as the unlucky survivors after being generously given an atom bomb by Henry Morgan. I think Tiwanaku also received one, and Vitcos and Vilcabamba could also be victims. Also, look at that submarine TPangs is highlighting… Yes! That is not a Bucc sub, it’s Chile! Great disguise, Bernardo.

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This is a great view of South America… We get to see all the decaying Border cities, and the strangely nuked Belem. Also, look at all those Aussie planes in Tulum, maybe they’re planning something.

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“Hello, welcome to nuclear hellfire. Get your tequila and get the hell out before you get blown to smithereens” - Mexican Tourist Agency, probably. This basically describes Mexico right now, except for the miraculously still intact city of Los Angeles. At least they now have one less nuke-happy civ to worry about.

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Here we have a view of Ethi- Boers. Honestly… I miss the super power that was sadly located on the wrong continent, they had a nice, soothing color scheme. Vietnam and the Boers are currently at peace, and none of the other civs currently pictured are in a relevant war. Moving on.

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In this shot of Korea, we see that their terrifying, advanced carpet of death and destruction has been severely trimmed down a size, and that Mongolia’s slightly less impressive isn’t doing anything! So why don’t we just acknowledge that both Tiflis (Korea, Pictured) and Tbilisi (Sibir, Not Pictured) both exist. That annoys me >:( Yes, these are the same cities, just that Tiflis is the Mongol name

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Apparently the slimming of massive, terrifying, and advanced carpets is contagious. Both Sibir and Korea have the virus, and I’m worried it may spread to other powerful civs. Although, personally, I wouldn’t really mind if Gustavus Adolphus was the next to fall ill.

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Mao’s alive! But it may not be for long, as Sibir and Vietnam are currently at war. It seems that Bamda has just flipped, or caught a nuke in the face, but I don’t see any fallout. Meanwhile, one of Finland’s mass amount of exclaves sits there, relatively unguarded, with only 3 XCOMs tasked with protecting the city.

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Please Press F one last time for Afghanistan, as they were really fun to watch these last fews parts. Somehow they managed to drop into a few middle eastern cities, and capture them during their war with Sibir. Great civ, and shout out to the only Afghani supporter I know, /u/eurasianlynx.

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In the midst of the tiny (excuse Persepolis) former Persian cities, a lone Sibiran hovertank stand surrounded by Vietnamese Drones. I don’t see a good way out for that little guy. Also, two cities called Samarqand (some mythical Civ’s capital, called the Timurids I think) and Samarkand exist, which also annoys the hell out of me… More than bamn Tbilisi/Tiflis.

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SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE! WE’VE GOT A LIFE HACKER ON OUR HANDS. Jandamarra (totally not Gajah Mada) has somehow managed to four cities larger than any Mexican city down on Antarctica. Ladies and Gentleman, Deity bonuses.

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It’s that time again, folks! We get to view Australia’s pacific, unmovable carpet! The old thing is actually looking pretty outdated (ignore the UAVs, pls), but I don’t judge Parkes’ incompetence of upgrading his units too hard.

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While our spy, Ishtar, takes a retreat from the spy game and war by venturing to the former Chilean capital of Santiago de Chile. Although this vacation isn’t all play, our beloved spy has also informed us that Brazil is severely lacking in the unit department.

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Looking into the Ishtar’s vacation spot of choice, we see that Santiago is slowly recovering from the Brazilian takeover, and that the Temple of Artemis still stands strong. In other news, we see that Brazil is building military units, which is always good to see at this point in the game. Usually by now superpowers are designating all their cities to gold and science.

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We also get a look inside the city of Qashliq, the Siberian capital, currently is one of the game’s smaller original capitals, sitting only at a respectful 23 population. Although I bet some appreciate the lack of claustrophobia inside the city. Qashliq is also currently serving as Semiramis’s current post.

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My Finnish Friends, join the Paratruuper ranks! Finland is officially Nuclear Hellfire free, and making a startling recovery! But seriously, join the Paratruupers today, since Top Kek seems to be suffering severely from a lack of units, which is sad, since Sweden recovered perfectly fine from the Finn-Boer invasion.

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Petition to rename the Indian Ocean to the “Dead Civ Ocean” as I currently see 4 floating around out here… Burma, Ashanti, Morocco and Hawaii all gathered in one place. Nice Waiiiitttt… Hawaii is alive… Right?

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And poof, just like that, The Buccs have been expelled from Europe… with the exception of Iberiarrr. Sorry, CBR Discord, with the capture of Funchal, we loose the possibility of an immediate Portugal revival. Bummer. I wanted a revival this part. Booooooo. I want a refund.

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There are three kinds of Buccaneer colony cities: Undamaged, Barely damaged, and obliterated to the point where a caravan could take the city, and Iberiarr is no exception, and the Stealth Bombers of the Boers are slowly, but surely, taking out the cities in the area looking for a capture

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Out of the 4 Yakut cities left, all but one are extremely damaged. Also, I only count one melee unit owned by Yakutia, aka 1 city flip. I would not be surprised if we had to prime our F keys, folks. Also, a CS in the city of Beryozovo is not out of the question, either.

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With some of the final traces of the Moroccan Civilization being destroyed (the Kasbahs), the Boers still struggle with with sending Hover Tanks to capture cities. Also, let’s take a moment to think about the number of civs currently attempting to settle this area in Western Africa. *thinks of Tibet*

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Here we see the Fallout covered Sahara, and the now Finnish islands of Sicily, Corsica, Malta, and Sardinia, alongside a ravished Iberian peninsula.

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Here we see the Fallout covered Sahara, and the now Finnish islands of Sicily, Corsica, Malta, and Sardinia, alongside a ravished Iberian peninsula. And this is a great slide to be my end of the narration, a lone Inuit Settler making his way downtonwn, walking fast, passing irradiated faces as he‘s home bound. Alright folks! This is the end of the line for me! I’m so happy TPang gets to keep his word and get a part out in the middle of the week, and I want all of you to stop rioting. Just stop, and appreciate all TPang does for ya’ll. Much love, /u/_xSyracuse.

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We begin the second half of our installment, courtesy of /u/TechnostarBTD5, with another shot of the Brazilian front of SOPA 2.0. The Buccaneers have sent the largest land army they have ever assembled to recapture Gran Colombarrr, but the counteroffensive has (by my count) only managed to kill one paratrooper to the south of Curacao since we last saw this front.

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The Blackfoot have captured Oglala, pushing their paratroopers even further into Mexican territory. Even though Henry Morgan has dropped out of the war, the Blackfoot have shown to be an indomitable force in the irradiated wasteland of Mexico, perhaps hardened by the various genetically modified organisms that have drifted into their lands from Inuit facilities.

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This shot of Finland proves that nearly every fallout tile has been or in the process of being cleared, perhaps delayed through Kekkonen’s iconic open borders agreements. In a show of revanchism, Tampere is now at 20 population. Maybe Finland might actually have a science output again soon, who knows?

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Espoo’s outermost territory is now an autonomous region designated for Ethiopian refugees. Haile Selassie’s loyal soldiers plot how to use the Uranium they are stationed on to overthrow the Boers and reestablish the motherland. Unfortunately, even though Ethiopia is still technically at war with the Boers, a civilization that is this long-dead has never shown enough military power to reclaim their territory.

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A victorious Kimberley fleet heads home after the defeat of what they consider to be the most dangerous plague of the land, anime. In a twist of irony, it is revealed that young Kimberley entrepreneurs have revived the practice, but with an aboriginal twist highlighted in one of the Submarine’s numerous shitposts. Offshore, the Hawaiians have managed to build a fighter, indicating that they have managed to acquire oil. Perhaps a graphical glitch obscures a source nearby, but it is most likely the result of cunning trade.

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Australia appears to have modernized the Wobbegong armada, seamlessly merging the fleet composition of old with the trendy fashion of building planeless carriers. Perhaps the only concerning thing is that Australia has not annexed many of the cities for military production. In addition, while it is not a concern for most individuals here, the fact that several hovertanks in this screenshot are embarked rather than hovering irritates me. From my experience with that mod, this is most likely because they are veteran units upgraded from anti-tank guns, which would cause them to keep their embarkation “promotion”.

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We now observe the Boer core. What is most impressive is that every single city on this slide has 20 or more population, and Kroonstad is sitting at a comfortable 50 citizens. What was once the invincible carpet of doom is now a shell of its former self, but it will be rebuilt as soon as the Ryk takes just a small nap. Like most modern navies, the Boers have adopted the strategy of ramming carriers into other carriers.

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Sibir has formulated the most effective way to deal with the Vietnamese invasion, which is obviously to force the Ashanti pikeman back into its lake. Mao’s knights try to remember the days when their empire was as large as the ones on this slide, but they can’t. Because they never existed.

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From what was just recently a front line, we learn that Korea agrees with Sibir. The Ashanti Pikeman must never be allowed to roam the cylinder. The forces of anime continue to march northwards to destroy the one who dared harm their precious source of culture. They seem to be in denial that Japan is now dead for good.

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Cienfuegos, Braga, and Ciudad del Carmen are all in the black as we take another look at the oldest part of SOPA 2.0. Boer hovertanks continue to assault many nearby cities. It seems as though some part of Skynet’s fundamental code is preventing the deployment of melee units, which we saw in abundance near the core just a few slides ago. At the rate the Boers are going, Kekkotroopers might manage to take Iberiarrr before any one of these cities raises an orange flag.

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As TPangolin removes the user interface, we are shown the true nature of the front line. Not icons with health bars, but burning suburbs, irradiated plains, and the pure terror in the minds of the Buccaneer civilians inside the cities. Naturally, we are all delighted to be shown this entertaining side of the CBR!

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Brazil makes another surge forwards, capturing Corihuayrachina (a name that I hope I don’t have to type again), Ollantaytambo, and Curacao. The Buccaneers retaliate by sending a great merchant to the front lines.

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The Buccaneers take their turn, partially damaging or destroying several Brazilian units. While I wish I could announce another city flip, it appears that Henry Morgan having a difficult time defeating the wave of Pedro’s troops pouring through Colombiarr.

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Fortunately, the Buccaneers have one front where they aren’t sustaining heavy losses. The Inuit have only sent a token force of XCOM and biodrones to attack the Buccaneer core. While Ekeuhnick is attempting to take Cincinatti, it is the only city he has damaged so far.

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Turning back to Mexico, Crowfoot is laying siege to Wahpekute and has units outside the besieged city of Monterrey. It is looking increasingly likely that Crowfoot might actually eliminate his eternal rival, Benito Juarez.

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As we zoom out, Mexico gets the honorless designation of being small enough to fit into one slide. Everyone not directly involved in the government has been evacuated from Ciudad Juarez. In Austin, bombers periodically fly out to disrupt the advancing Blackfoot paratroopers.

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Unlike Mexico, the Kimberley at least possess holdings outside of this shot. The victorious Jandamarra celebrates in his most iconic fashion: By taking a nap. Vietnam is suffering from no-melee syndrome again. I count exactly one melee unit, a power-armor infantry almost obscured near Sri-Unspellable.

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Finnish Greece celebrates as olives are not banned. By this point, the Buccaneers have lost all of their holdings in Italy, but no captures in Iberiarrr have been recorded. In other news, the Viking Mediterranean League also celebrates the continuation of the olive, having invested 2 votes in defeating the proposal.

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Well, this is a sight for sore eyes! 3 Vietnamese melee units in the same slide! While their preference towards ranged units will be a serious hindrance, if the Trung Sisters can keep at least this ratio of melee units, they should be able to capture cities with relative ease again.

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The world chants “DIE DYE! DIE DYE!” in an alternating fashion, proclaiming that the ban on dyes shall remain in effect. Flag trading in e-commerce servers recovers quickly as fears that stockpiles of flags may become useless are alleviated. Speaking of no-melee syndrome, Afghanistan remains firmly in Siberian hands as Vietnam has yet to send in anything other than UAVs.

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Pedro, confident in his newfound skills, has begun to plan ahead. Anticipating the hasty defeat of the Buccaneers, Brazilian generals make plans to continue their conquest in the irradiated wasteland of Mexico. That is, if they can get there before the Blackfoot, who are quite close to taking Monterrey.

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“Tomtor has fallen! I repeat, Tomtor has fallen!” This cry is heard across many Yakutian radios as Mongolian troops storm the temporary capital. Though even as they retreat to Amga, plans are made to move again as a Giant Death Robot bears down upon the bombed-out husk of that city. But wait, what’s that in the corner?

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Sejong has declared war on Jandamarra. More importantly, Osaka is immediately liberated! Koreans rejoice as animes are renewed for another season! The bulk of the Korean navy bears down at the stunned Kimberley navy, which had been so sure that Korea was unwilling to defend their favorite city-state more than once. But alas, the rising sun rises once more! (Syr’s Note: YAY! I GOT MY REVIVAL! AND YAY FOR THE RETURN OF MIRAI NIKKI OR WHATEVER THE CBR EQUIVALENT IS :p)

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With refreshed spirits, the Korean GDR mentioned earlier storms into Amga, forcing the Yakutian government to relocate to their last core city. This, too, is in mortal peril, besieged by both Inuit and Korean forces.

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A Hawaiian engineer and general study the plan of a burnt-out citadel, planning to construct one if they ever find the land to actually build one on. Despite only being around for a few parts, Vung Tau has already grown to encompass most of the nuked land.

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Vietnam finds the inspiration to use melee units once more, taking Artashat and Kandahar from Sibir. Spying another possible city location, a Vietnamese settler is dispatched to the Middle East, perhaps targeting a spot in the Fertile Crescent or in the void where Boer nukes fell.

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Sri Lanka joins the Pikeman Containment Project and announces their opposition to free-range stools. Like Mexico, Sri Lanka can be photographed in one shot. This area appears to be another hideout of dead civs, with Afghani and Ethiopian units crowded into Finnish and Sri Lankan territory.

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Pedro continues to fight wars good, liberating his former city of Sao Luis. Belo Horizonte, the only Brazilian city left to be liberated, begins to take damage. Even the Buccaneer navy is struggling, losing their blockade of Manaus. But more importantly, Brazil is plotting against a different navy: the Canadian ghost fleet.

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Vietnam keeps all of their captured cities, but they have not been able to move in retaliation. One UAV recounts a particularly close call, stating in its console that nearly all of its squadron was blown out of the sky by a Siberian strike, but it managed to survive by dodging behind a mountain.

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Sweden’s navy is modern, big, and actually has planes. Despite this, their land army is still lacking from the Kekkoning.

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Australia now fields Chimeras, a unit that the Boers have proven to be very effective at taking cities when actually used. Their production means that Australia has gone down more of the Bioline, so expect similar units to start being produced.

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We end the combat with a shot of Yakutia recapturing Amga. Yakutia only has 3 cities, one a puppet, but at least they are still alive. For now.

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We begin the infoaddict slides with one of the most important statistics in warfare: Production. The Inuit have a commanding lead here, with over 18,000 hammers. The Boers and Australia also both have over 10K production. Also important is that Brazil has surpassed the industrial output of the Buccaneers, meaning it will be even harder for Morgan to survive the upcoming parts.

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The Inuit are now at 109 cities, a number boosted by their recent conquests on the Chukchi peninsula. Once the Boers figure out how to use a melee unit, they will be in the prestigious 100-city club as well, solidifying their top spot even more.

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The Boers are now home to over 900,000,000 people. While this number has fluctuated wildly since the OCP, it could easily crack 1 billion soon as their high-population cities are no longer threatened. In addition, Finland is now on the top 12 again. Like I mentioned earlier, their science might stop stagnating soon.

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Rather than viewing the top ranks like usual, we instead view the civs with the weakest militaries. For any pirate, the fact that the Buccaneers are on this part of the list should be a cause for alarm.

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We now see a list of city-states and rump states. This list has called to my attention the fact that Amga has flipped back to Korea in the background, putting Yakutia in even more danger of falling next part. Mexico is also mysteriously down a city, which the minimap reveals to be Monterrey, captured by a Blackfoot strike force.

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To end this part, we get a list of the strongest militaries in the world, led by a wide margin by Australia. How many of those soldiers are useless embarked diggers, we may never know. Also of note is how Brazil has twice as much manpower as the Buccaneers, which, when you do the calculations, works out to be 4 times as many units due to the exponential nature of this statistic. In this part, we saw the capture of numerous Buccaneer cities in SOPA 2.0, most of them located in Gran Colombarrr. We also saw the joyful revival of Japan by Korea for the second time. Japan is to Korea as Tibet is to Vietnam: Anyone who harms them will pay. This has been your once-again emergency narrator, /u/TechnostarBTD5! I wish you all a farewell until next time!

Part 77: The Meiji Restoration – mk2

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