Part 81: The Valiants of Chapultepec

1

H: Greetings, denizens from the Babylonian sub! Delighted to see you tune in the original arena bloodbath that is the Civilization Battle Royale Mk. II! This time around, we have two narrators that will alternate between the slides to bring you the best possible coverage! I, /u/Hakantula, an avid Icelandic supporter, am joined by my co-writer, /u/NightMan and supporter of the polar opposite to Iceland, the Dvinese Empire. Although last part was statistically speaking a very uneventful one, the new wars that sparked during this part will finally (hopefully) clash into a great pool of death, bloodshed and mass destruction! N: They certainly will as the hyped up war between Australia and the Boers ultimately lead to the Boers sending a few (by a few I mean a ridiculous amount) nuclear missiles to harass the Wobbegong Armada in the Kimberley research hubs in Antarctica.

2

N: We move on to the power rankings slide, where the Boers sit comfortably at the top. The Boer invasion of Finnish Italy has unfortunately come to a halt recently as they can’t seem to realise that their hover tanks can’t capture cities. However, if they can keep the cities down low and sneak a melee boat in there, they’d have yet another foothold to launch an attack on mainland Europe. H: As a Dutch man myself, I can’t help but smile to see the Boers doing so well, even though I’m rooting for Iceland. That said, we’ll see if they can project this power over to two fronts, being Finland and Australia. It won’t be the first time they’ve done it.

3

H: Here we have a beautiful map of the cylinder, courtesy of /u/nathanmasse! It does not only highlight the changes that happened last part, but finally gives a clear insight to the borders at sea! Hot spots are the Mediterranean and the Caribbean, where you can see that border gore is definitely not only a thing on land. The Australians keep getting a better foothold on the Americans and have a lot of room to try and get a land force on the coast. This is also a good time to point out that Vietnam nearly encapsulates the main land of Sri Lanka, while cutting off Negombo completely.

4

N: The game begins as the Babylonian Sub moves it’s all seeing eyes to the Arabian peninsula and the also stagnating invasion of Finnish Arabia. The Boers seem to have the same problem on both fronts as they swarm the cities with units that can’t capture them. H: But we would like to take the time for a big event aboard the sub. We have gained enough experience for an upgrade! I just hope we get bigger bathtubs to relax in. Also, I heard overlord Tpang invites us all for a drink and he’s paying! Come on over and rejoice!

5

H: Things have died down around Iberia. The Boers seem to have control of most of Iberia for now (although you cannot be sure when a Finnish X-Com squad drops down), while Iceland only has to fear the group of carriers holding two units and a Cybersub. Further east, Boer forces might make a move to capture the cities in black, with a Mobile SAM on its way to Panormus!

6

N: Here is a strategic view of Iberia and Italy, used so we can see the devastation left by the Boer advance. Braga (Boers) has all of it’s land tiles in the general vicinity pillaged, leaving the only place safe of fire being the pristine Mediterranean waters. Although at this point they’re probably absolutely packed with Boer Hover Tanks, desperately wondering how the Finnish cities are holding on. I think Paul Kruger (Boers) may have run into a design flaw.

7

H: Back at the Sibir-Vietnam front, we can see that Sibir is fighting valiantly against the Sisters. Every damaged except Herat has more health since we last saw them fighting and a lot more Siberian units closing in on the borders. Meanwhile, Vietnam’s units are nowhere close to capture Herat. The Roman ballista moved around the city to get a spectacular view of the destruction.

08

N: The not-quite city state of Armenia declares they will find that pesky Ashanti Pikeman and cut off their head. How they’re going to make it into the Indian Ocean with no cities on that coast and Vietnam definitely not giving them open borders anytime soon I’m not sure, but Tiridates (Armenia) can hope, it may be the only relevant thing they can do at this point.

09

H: As we’ve come to expect, the army of workers stationed inside the Siberian cities keep doing their thing, clearing all the nuclear fallout around Narim. Siberian forces have finally pushed into Vietnamese territory near Bamda, but a lot of forces have been lost doing so. We cannot assess the situation more carefully, since the repeal of historical landmarks are blocking our view.

10

N: The destroyed city of Tikal still remains unclaimed land and the closest settler to it I can see is a Buccaneer one next to St. Eustatius. Is it possible that the Buccaneers will be sneaky and settle a city on the ruins? Granted, it won’t have the population of Tikal but it would be one massive screw you to the Australian invasion. The paratrooper near Uxmal could also be useful if either of the Buccaneer settlers (one near Chichen Itza as well) decide to settle in the ruins of Tikal.

11

H: The end of Mexico seems close. Both Ciudad Juarez and Veracruz are in deep red and surrounded by at least one unit to capture the city, with Mexico City in the yellow. Mexico has no melee units left, and the Mexican Writer documents the downfall of his country while weeping. It might to time to prime the F key, ladies and gentlemen!

12

N: A Boer and Australian Cyber Sub meet outside the Kimberley city of Wulungara, both (hopefully) packing nuclear weapons. It’s unfortunate for Paul Kruger (Boers) that they seemed to encounter a massive chunk of Australia’s navy on the way to the Australian homeland. The Cyber Sub that Henry Parkes (Australia) is sending over seems to be close to firing range on Middelburg (which is ironically not in the middle of anything) and only has to fight through a few units to get there.

13

H: Carpenting continues in the Inuit island of Mililani Mauka and has a very decent carpet. The Carrier-virus has not spread to this tranquil place on the cylinder. Meanwhile Kamehameha looks over the Inuit army and sighs, wishing he could have his empire back. N: Inuit still seem to have an Unaaq, most likely to serve as a friendly anti-drug mascot to the local island children.

14

N: Yakutia holds on for dear life, thankful that Korea can’t get a melee unit into Beryozovo. I feel genuinely sorry for Yakutia, sitting pretty for a millennia until Korea decided it was time to go and in one fell swoop took almost all their cities. It would be a cruel existence if they decided to peace out now.

15

H: Iceland is on a mission to wipe the Buccs once and for all with their giant armada of… I count seven ships here? Granted, there are also two nuclear missiles to possibly do some damage, but I would say that it won’t be enough without some support coming in very soon. That being said, he only has to face Carriers...

16

N: HOLY GOD. This is not something I expected to see in this part, I thought they’d at least hold on for a little longer but it seems that The Blackfoot managed to push through the rut they’d gotten themselves into with the Mexican war. That means that Mexico has been eliminated in 22nd place and what a ride they had. In the early game I saw Mexico as a regional power, joining in on the Great North American Gangbang but stagnating there on out. The sack of Austin is a moment that will be remembered by all and the sheer determination of the Mexican people in not succumbing to the Blackfoot invasion. The Mexicans fought valiantly but in the end couldn’t hold on longer. Press F to pay respects.

17

H: The assault of the one-tile islands has begun! Iceland’s forces are drifting along the sea borders of the Buccaneer holdings, while Portobello has been reduced to less than half health. That said, all three islands have a lot of units stationed in the city with a total of 38 units split between the five cities we can see. We can also spot an Icelandic Settler going west. Let’s all hope he dodges death going through the Buccaneer territory and settles on the spot Tikal used to be. Dream big, little man.

18

N: The Sibir-Vietnam front seems to be coming to a halt, the previously damaged cities of Urgench and Nishapur are now at full health and looking fine for the moment. The same can not be said for the Sibir city of Herat, which seems worse off than the last time we saw it. The BioTrooper Tpang has highlighted can hopefully help the defence.

19

H: The Buccaneer Settler is making great strides towards the ruins of Tikal, now in the Australian borders of Port-Au-Prince. The Buccs actually have good control of the canal of Nassau, making sure no Wobbegong Armada can pass through, hereby saving Leogane for now. Chichen Itza is also healing up nicely and the Buccs seem to gain control of this situation slowly.

20

N: Mongolian Mobile SAMs spill out into Sri Lankan Arabia and more funny than that is the poor Boer Hover Tank stuck in the middle of Vietnamese territory. I bet he just wishes he could butt his head against Finnish Arabia, not ever taking the city.

21

H: Reinforcements have arrived and it seems Ingolfur has given the order to take Cienfuegos! Led by the heroic Icelandic scout, the armada makes his way to the Strait of Gibraltar, one of the few spots on the cylinder where such a huge naval force doesn’t mean that much with the limited space. However, with even more reinforcements coming, Iceland can even brute force his way through the Bucc defenses. The Cybersub seems to have different plans and looks to head west, unleashing hell on the main Bucc holdings.

22

N: The Australian Cyber Sub makes it’s way up and around towards Middelburg, thoroughly confusing the Boer navy as they head towards where the Cyber Sub previously was. This tactic could work wonders for Parkes (Australia), distract the navy that could destroy their nuclear warhead while it makes its way to nuke the crap out of their intended city.

23

H: A look at the main lands of the Finns, almost devoid of any land units. The few they do have are on border patrol to watch their Swedish neighbors. The one thing Finland has going for them in this slide is their half-decent navy, which means Sweden can’t immediately take their coastal cities in the north. Use that production you have Finland!

24

N: Here’s a unit I don’t think we’ve seen for a long time, an Australian Prime Minister. From his wikipedia page I can see he was the 23rd Prime Minister of Australia and was quite different from his predecessor, in the fact that he didn’t introduce radical reforms in the beginning of his term and instead worked slower. But hey, what do I know about Australian politics, i just read something off a wikipedia page. As for the effect this unit has on the game, it replaces the Great Writer providing political quotes instead. In addition to this it gives +1 tourism to any non-puppeted coastal cities per owned land tile outside of workable area. God damn that’s confusing but I shouldn’t think that they gave much more tourism, seeing how close together some of the cities on the cylinder are.

25

H: The welcoming committee of the Boers, consisting of cybersubs, is greeting a part of the Wobbegong Armada near the Kimberley holdings of the Arctic. We know one of the Australian ships carries a Nuclear Missile, but there three more ships carrying a load of their own. Meanwhile, the Boers have a carrier with two units. The Kimberley just watches from his island, wishing he had any idea to make units this advanced.

26

N: Oh, I actually forgot that Armenia owned Gaza, still not gonna make that dream of beheading the Ashanti Pikemen any more realistic. Anyway, Gaza is currently a puppet meaning Armenia cannot control what it builds. It could build be building literally anything for all we know, but I like to think that the government of Gaza has ordered a monument to be built and Tiridates then proceeds to throw a hissy fit in his office, unable to stop them.

27

H: Four cities of the Buccs are more damaged than they were in the previous slide, with Leogane having no health left. Guadelajara is also at risk is being captured by the Australians as an AA-Gun moves in for the capture. The Bucc Settler has opted for a tactical retreat. The Icelandic fleet from the west is also moving in closer and closer, possibly capturing a city or two!

28

N: Ah, a beautiful shot of the Dvinese Empire. As a Spart supporter myself I feel my faith in them dropping every part. They’ve got no way of escaping this one city hell and the only hope they have is to snipe a city from the Boers which would be a beautiful thing. However, this isn’t the main focus of this slide. Armenia seems intent on taking out all destroyed civilizations on the cylinder, this time being intent on destroying the Timurids.

29

H: A shot of Southern Finland shows they secretly are a fan of Boer tactics since their land army is primarily Hovertanks. Also, Armenia is seen in almost its full glory, sporting more land units than any other civilization on this screen! Time to act on their slacking Armenia, this might be your only shot!

30

N: A second batch of units is sent over by Australia for the Boer invasion. We get a shot of a Giant Death Robot riding an Advanced Destroyer, not as embarrassing as riding a Caravel. Actually pretty badass in my opinion.

31

H: An Arsenal Ship has joined the fray in the Indian Ocean, bringing two more Nuclear Missiles into play. Neither side has used their (presumed) missiles yet, with Australia still rocking with four of them. So far it seems that the Boer are losing this fight, losing more units. Will the Arsenal Ship make the difference?

32

N: To the left of this screen we see the attack on Portobello still continues on but with only two units next to it, it may fail to succeed. I’m actually surprised that Iceland hasn’t started an attack on Cienfuegos yet, but the Great General might just order his army to attack soon.

33

H: Guadelajara is getting surrounded by more and more Australian units and it only seems a matter of time before that area is greener than it is now. But more importantly, we have landfall! An Australian settler sits on the place next to where Tikal used to be and I can’t see Australia not settling here first (too bad Tibet!).

34

N: With the war between Mexico and The Blackfoot finally over, The Blackfoot can finally start to clear up all the fallout that arose because of it. I’d like to know how many nukes were actually dropped on Mexico during the war, it must be somewhere above 15, there’s just so much fallout everywhere. Also, another thing I can’t remember is if Australia and The Blackfoot are at war. If so, that paratrooper heading towards Ciudad Juarez could be a problem.

35

H: Another slide of the Vietnamese-Siberian border, and this shows how little has been achieved so far due to the difficult terrain around here. I wouldn’t give this war to any side just yet, although two GDR’s are moving towards Wuppertal in the top-right corner. Time will tell if that’s enough to break the Sibir defenses.

36

N: And that Atomic Bomb could spell bad news for The Blackfoot as it heads towards the Americas. Although, it’s more likely that the bomb is on a path directly towards the Buccaneers, which is equally scary.

37

H: A strategic view of the Caribbean. The main holdings of the Buccs are slowly getting destroyed, with Port Royal in black and both St. Eustatius and Tortuga being the next target. More importantly though, this is our first look at Therapne, the replacement of Tikal! A beautiful location, and looking at the number of units stationed, it has a fantastic hangar as well! This gives the Aussies another base to damage the Bucc holdings.

38

N: We get a look at the Siberian North, littered with Future Worlds improvements. As always, the Deity AI somehow make the worst city spots (literally in a snow covered island) into massive population hubs. I mean, Krasnodar is bigger than some capitals in the game, that’s insane!

39

H: The Siberian core is definitely filling up with units as opposed to workers this time around. Narim might’ve been hit by a missile here, being at half health. However, the Sibir, famed for their workers, get to work immediately to clean the fallout. Trigger Darkhan is still silently rapping in his own corner of the world, waiting.

40

N: Some progress on the Sibir-Vietnam front as Herat is captured by Vietnam. The Roman Ballista flees the scene of the crime, having learnt from his thousands of years of wandering the earth that violence is not the answer. After all, violence is what killed his country leaving him stranded.

41

H: The strategic view of the area reveals that Narim was indeed nuked, along with Dila and Rasht, judging from the fallout surrounding the cities. Workers are on their way. The Knights of the Maond table are retreating, lest their horses mutate from all the radiation.

42

H: A look at the newest addition to the Australians, a aerial base called Therapne. Australia is finally getting a good foothold on the Americas, already trying to fill their territory with units. Guadelajara is still under siege, although sending more units to capture the city might be a good idea.

43

N: That Australian Arsenal Ship is definitely within range of Middelburg now with little to no resistance being faced from the Boers. Even if Australia nukes Middelburg and takes the city and then peaces out afterwards, they’d still be in an advantageous position next time they go to war. Having a city right off the coast of the Boers to attack from would be massive.

44

H: Please Korea, just end his misery. Darkhan’s mixtape isn’t even fire enough to save him from this icy hell. You had your chance in the beginning, but you blew it.

45

N: The Icelandic core, like the previous narrator mentioned, is practically devoid of land units and down near their capital is a worryingly large amount of carriers without planes on them. Carriers are great units of course, but without anything on them they’re not the most efficient city attacking tool.

46

H: The Brazilian core in all its glory, stretching South America almost entirely. Even though he has not been at war, it seems Pedro has not been sitting idle, sporting a nice carpet already. The Icelandic musician spreads his propagandic words across the continent, but the Brazilians are not swayed by his music, preferring more hip-shaking during their carnivals.

47

N: The new city of Autiyara is settled by the Boers and a Boer worker is instantly sent there to clean up the pillaged tiles there. Imagine having to head off from the paradise that is Pretoria just to scrub up debris from a slum city that’s only recently came into being. He better be getting good pay for this…

48

H: Fallout spreads along the Siberian lands. They seem to have taken a beating during this turn, with a lot of cities in the yellow or red and less units, but they have recaptured Herat. Fallout spreads everywhere, and even the Hunnic worker has been hired to help with clearing it. On the other side of the border, Sibir seems to have some space to send their army towards Bamda.

49

N: Portobello falls to the small Icelandic force sent to it and to attack on Cienfuegos begins, looking to be fairly successful as it’s in the red with a destroyer next to it. Also, Leira and Cumana are both being attacked, could this spell the end of the Buccs in Europe?

50

H: The Boers make some gains and capture both Mecca and Bethlehem! A small group of Hovertanks continue on towards Jerusalem and Finland doesn’t look like it’s gonna do anything to stop the Boers.

51

N: The attack of Buccaneer Europe/Africa continues with not much progress being made since last turn. Back in Sale, the Buccs have a stack of Drone Fighters that could be used to stop any attack by those Icelandic units. However, they could also be in range of Leira, halting the attack drastically.

52

53

N: Mongolia making peace with the Dvinese empire means we can take a look at their core. Karakorum is at an abysmal 20 population, the Sibir cities in the icy north are better than that come one Genghis! Other than that, their unit spread looks good and declaring war on Sibir would probably result in them gaining a few cities.

54

N: An Afghan Paratrooper, without a home, accidentally crash lands in the waters outside Jakarta. Maybe he’s taking the Roman Ballista’s view on war, or maybe it will take him a few thousand years to figure it out. Either way, the Afghan Paratrooper has found solace in Jakarta.

55

MISSING NARRATION

56

H: Leiria is the next Bucc holding to fall to Iceland, taking down five stationed units in the process. Cumana seems very likely to fall, while Cienfuegos might hold out a little bit longer. Iceland is slowly driving the Buccs back to their holdings on the other side of the Atlantic.

57

N: The Ashanti Pikemen, floating in the middle of the Indian Ocean decides it’s just had enough of Sibir and decides that, even though they’re small, they can take on the might of Sibir. Dream big little pikeman, dream big. Also, that Burmese Musician in the top left hand corner seems to be spitting straight fire.

58

H: Stretch those legs boys and girls, it’s time to get to work! Dvin has trained hard to in their canal city for this moment. Boer is not taking matters into their hands, so the Spartans rise once more! They declare war on Finland and will probably take to take control of the east part of the Mediterranean. Sri Lanka joins in as well and might be able to make some gains here! Batticaloa is next to Negombo and Sri Lanka has a decent amount of units there. The main problem is that the Afghan refugees might be blocking their way to do something impactful in the Battle Royale for once.

59

N: This may not be a suicide declaration at all! As always Sparta surprises us and immediately takes Jerusalem from Finnish hands. With an attack on Nicomedia getting the city down to yellow, this is definitely a fun time to be a Sparta supporter! SPARTANS READY!

Part 81: The Valiants of Chapultepec – mk2

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