Part 86: Requiem for a Leg Day

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Hello everybody, it’s MSurdej, Power Ranker and Boer technocrat, here to bring you another exciting part of everyone’s favorite AI Game! Last part we saw the Boers declare war on Sparta, much to the dismay of Mallock of Dvin(shown above). Will the Boers assimilate Sparta, or shall Tuesday remain leg day?

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Next we have a beautiful map created by /u/ Spherical_Melon, detailing the countries of the cylinder and the size of their cities. Many cities of the major powers have taken a hit in population since the reboot, which might give some underdogs a fighting chance.

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Lastly, we see the Boers still hold onto the top spot, though their deviation continues to grow, as many have doubts on the Orange Menace. WIll Paul kruger be able to prove them wrong? Let’s find out!

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The part opens with Australia making peace with Brazil, ending the Australian influence on South America. Pedro now controls nearly all of South America, with only a few Buccaneers holdout cities standing between him and complete control. But it seems that he has moved his land units back towards the mainland, with the intent of capturing Huamanga and its Uranium deposit. Meanwhile, mad that he lost his top 10 slot on the Power Rankings, Genghis decides to declare war on Tibet, to prove us all wrong about his conquering prowess.

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Meanwhile, Swedish vertols attack the Finnish city of Oulu, with SAMs and Power Armor awaiting further instructions. Kekkonen meanwhile has only a lone pair of Mech Artillery defending the city, while a naval blockade on Gdansk is being challenged by the Swedish navy

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Further south, Helsinki finds itself in similar trouble, with Swedish troops crossing the Baltic Sea to launch dual attacks on the Finnish capital and Wroclaw. Yet once again, Finland has few troops to meet the invaders, only having 5 military units in this slide.

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In a citadel near Minsk, a long forgotten Pikeman watches on as things get even worse for Finland the closer to the Equator we get, as Ponzan and Adrianople fall to the Swedish army. While Ponzan looks safe for now(besides the constant bombardment it and Corinth are receiving), Kekkonen has the chance to retake Adrianople if he can get his melee ships into range.

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We all knew it was coming...With a mighty robotic foot, the Boer GDRs take Jerusalem and Epiduaros, ending the reign of Leonidas once and for all. Oh Sparta. You were the first to take a capital, the first to eliminate a civ, and while you never reached the top spot (you peaked at 5), you will always be #1 in the hearts of many a shitposter. “Now cracks a noble heart.—Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels, Who never skip leg day, sing thee to thy rest” F

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Back in the Middle East, Sibir sends a small force to Ghanzi, intent on taking it back. The mountainous terrain and Finnish exclaves make this war a perpetual meatgrinder, but it is hard to say when, or even if, a decisive blow will be dealt. To the west, Bukhara rebuilds its walls as Tiridates III plots his next move.

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Further East, the Sibir hold the city of Nishapur, with the Vietnamese looking to capture the city yet again. While Vietnam has more units, a majority of these shown are UAVs, which cannot take cities,giving Kuchum Khan the slight advantage.

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Meanwhile, an Inuit cruiser laden with nuclear missiles makes its way towards Australian America. Few but the Australian Air Force hold the city, and while no melee White Walkers are in enemy lines(the nearest is chilling near Monterrey), a few well placed nukes could bring an entirely different sort of Winter.

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Inuit forces continue to surround the city of Uxmal, though nearby units of Ekeuhnick’s forces remain battered from their recent conquers. Meanwhile, the Buccaneers begin to rebuild as well, their Central American holdings recovering as their time in the war seems to draw to a close.

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Sweet Whistling Lutefisk! One turn later, Gustavus manages to capture Helsinki, giving the Swedes another capital and forcing Kekkonen to retreat to an undisclosed location. The Lion of the North proves he’s playing for keeps, and continues to move his men further east, giving pursuit to the Finns.

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Meanwhile in Qashliq, Kuchum Khand decides that plowing through Vietnam to get to tibet is a fool’s errand, and makes peace with Songstan Gampo. While the city is still reeling from the nuclear blast it took a few parts ago, The Sibir continue to fight the good fight.

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Sejong comes to a similar notion as The Sibir, and makes peace with Tibet as well. While this would be a good thing for Tibet, Ekeunhick and his gopher neighbor Blackfoot declare war on them in the same turn. While this will probably amount to nothing, with Crowfoot’s legendary sniping skills, anything is possible.

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In the former Yakutian lands, Ekeuhnick plot to move further west, and attack Kuchum Khan. While such an attack would probably not amount to much, it could make diplomacy with the Trung Sisters more amiable.

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Speaking of the Trungs, they seem to be plotting against Jandamarra, hoping to take the former Indonesian islands for themselves. While borders are currently open between the two countries, an invasion could bring relevance to a usually quiet area of the cylinder.

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Back on the Finno-Swedish front, Oulu still holds while Gdansk looks to be in good shape. The Finnish navy meanwhile, continues to sail around, not risking attacking the few Swedish ships in the Arctic Circle.

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The heat of the action is seen here though, as Gustavus marches on Minsk, nearly bringing the city to its knees in a single turn. Kekkonen meanwhile, has retreated to Moscow, where he is almost certainly in Stalin’s old bunker, helping himself to his former rival’s vodka stash, wondering where it all went wrong.

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The south of the battlefront remains the same however, with the Finnish navy in the Black Sea bungling a possible recapture of Adrianople.

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Ghanzi falls back into Sibir’s hands, and Vietnam seems poised to take it back in a matter of turns. Armenia can only watch on as the two powers vie for control. There is little Tiridates II can do, but rebuild, re-arm, and wait for the eventual next fight.

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With a few turns under our belt, we send our spies to various new cities. Iceland and Brazil are the most interesting to see while Armenia and Finaldn will be good to watch how civs on the chopping block are faring.

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Back at Oulu, Sweden looks poised to take the city the following turn, provided the Power Armor Infantry doesn’t die. From there, Gustavus could either move to take Jyvaskyla or Vantaa, and there is little Finland can do to stop them.

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While Espoo takes some damage, Finland is so devoid of units that Gustavus is brazenly sending Vertols deep into enemy territory. All the Finns can do now is ready their air force, hole their artillery in their cities, and pray to whatever god they lost in the revival that Sweden offers peace terms soon.

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Unsurprisingly, little changes to the south of the battle for Finland and Sweden, but what IS surprising is that Vietnam ahs open borders with both Finland and Iceland. If the Trung Sisters move against Gustavus, it could spell disaster as the southern borders of Sweden are exposed.

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Finland has a pair of hovertanks left over from the Armenian invasion stuck in an exclave while the main countryside is ransacked. Ghanzi flips back to Vietnam, and Armenia, despite the best efforts of BluCasette, builds a carrier, proving that not even our benevolent gods can suppress the might of Armenia

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To the East, Nishapur holds, with the Trung Sisters moving forces east to re-take the city. This massive game of Reversi, flipping a few border cities between Sibir and Vietnam, has been a massive drain on both countries, but has effected Sibir much more than the Sisters.

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Bamda flips back to Vietnam, though the way to the nearest Sibir city is blocked by the two greatest forces of this war: mountains and Finns. To the east, Mongolia’s carpet is severely underdeveloped, but still a force that can give a sparsely defended country like Sibir a run for its money.

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Back in North America, Waihapu falls to the Inuit, leaving only two cities in Parkes’ hands this side of the Pacific.Meanwhile, Crowfoot seems to have given Ekeuhnick Open Borders, allowing the Inuit to waltz through his lands.

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Further south, Inuit forces move in on the last Australian city in Central America. Parkes has ships and planes in spades, but the lack of melee units means that Australia will undoubtedly lose their American holdings if this continues.

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Speaking of ships, a contingent of the Australian Garbage patch is shown here, with a large number of carriers surrounding Coff’s Harbor. Whether the fleet of paratroopers are heading or fleeing to North America is uncertain, but it might be too little, too late.

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In perhaps the ballsiest move since the Mk2.1 started, Sweden moves in on not one, not two, but three different cities at the same time. Lappeenranta, and Moscow go to yellow, while Kekkonen flips Minsk back to his control for the time being. While Swedish melee units aren’t in range to recapture, its unlikely Finland will hold Minsk for long the way Sweden is going.

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Drunk off his rocker, Kekkonen orders a Hovertank to recapture Adrianople. When his advisors tell him that is impossible, he throws an empty vodka bottle at them. Meanwhile, it seems that Sweden has Open Borders with Iceland, who in turn has given Vietnam free passage as well.

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As we move into The Levant, we see Vietnam has also gained open borders with Armenia, who has continued to re-arm itself, making another carrier. Everybody seem to like Vietnam, as opposed to their exclave Tibet, who just got war declared on it by Yakutia.

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Nishapur holds, and it seems that Sibir has a slight advantage in this situation. The old Timur capital of Samarqand is unpuppeted, allowing Sibir to churn unit after unit out. Whereas most of the cities along this front are puppets, with Lahor the sole exception.

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Bamda flips back to Sibir, though with the amount of Vietnam units in the area, a reverse flip could very well be seen. Cities on Vietnam’s side are also puppets, with only Old Sarai being the only non annexed Sibir city shown.

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You know what isn’t puppeted though? Vietnam’s core, which still has troops to spare(albeit a bit to many UAVS for my taste.Also seen here is a shot of Tibet, who, after nearly 20 turns, have yet to use their Great Prophet. C’mon Songstan, get it together. This is why you’re getting all those wars declared!

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Back in Hawaii (the islands, not the civ), the Australians are recovering from the attacks by the Inuit. It also seems like they have Open borders with the Blackfoot, making the likelihood of Crowfoot joining this war slim to none.

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The Inuit Northern front seems to have changed little , but the open borders with Vietnam shows that the Trung Sisters seem to be everybody’s friends but Sibir. The Blackfoot also have puppeted most of former Mexico, meaning his production of more units will be limited.

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Down in Central America, Parkes is kicked from his last holding as Ekeuhnick takes Uxmal. Dejected, Australia takes a few more shots at the Buccaneers before sailing to brighter seas.

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Down in Brazil, we see a carnivale of units, a strong carpet for Pedro that just needs someone to throw it at. But it seems Brazil is more interested in getting ready for the next UN meeting, where they will discuss a World’s Fair and National Heritage Sites.

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Meanwhile, Iceland has been busy unpuppeting the cities of England and Ireland, creating a good production base for Europe to go along with his walls of carriers. The friend ship with Sweden, as shown by Open borders, means that an intervention by Iceland on Finland’s behalf is unlikely.

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Speaking of Finland, Lappeenrenta falls to Sweden, and the advancing armies of Gustavus march towards Vantaa, ignoring Jyvaskyla for the time being. Also shown here are a mass of Finnish carriers, floating idly in Sibirean waters as their country burns. Their power is all but useless, as Sweden has sent no ships to the region, forcing engagements only on land.

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And force engagements they do! Minsk and Moscow are nearly theirs, and Vaasa is being besieged as well. Kekkonen seems to be pulling his men back, trying to find some ground to hold against the advancing army, but will he find it in time?

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While the battle to the south hasn’t changed, direct your attention to Constantinople. Boer Units are in Icelandic borders, meaning that the two nations are probably on good terms. While this is good news for peace, it undoubtedly means that a Neo-Punic War between Iceland and the Boers is not in the cards for the time being.

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A Sri Lankan trading ship sails through Boer waters, passing through almost as many carriers as their are hovertanks as they travel to the only shown puppet city the Boers have in the south. With their massive production, the Boers can start cranking out more units soon enough, just as soon they stop starving their cities.

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Back on the Vietnam/Sibir front little has changed. Sibir continues to hold Nishapur and Bamda, and Vietnam desperately tries to retake it. These two cities, along with Ghanzi to the south, form a meatgrinder which slowly drains the two civs of resources, though it is unclear who will have the advantage in the end.

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Mongolia has a small problem, and that is that it’s woefully behind in tech. They barely have 70 techs, and with Korea for a neighbor, a war could mean the end for Genghis. His cities have laughable defense numbers, only one of the cities shown here has triple digits. While he has less forces, Sejong’s superior armed forces could rage through Mongolia in short order.

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But Genghis isn’t alone in this.Down in Kimdoneasia, we see that most of Jandamarra’s cities are unpuppeted and have low defenses when compared to Australia and Vietnam. The Kimberely better hope that Trung Nhi and Trung Trac don’t decide to have Jandamarra become another Trung Sister.

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Next we go to a shot of the Australian eastern core, in all its glory. Most of the former Kimberely cities have been unpuppeted, and Parkes is armed to the teeth with units(though the couple Diggers seem out of place). While he may be losing his holdings in America, it will be much harder to force Parkes from his native space.

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Deep in the Pacific, a blackfoot cargo ship trades food and supplies from the mainland to a far flung colony off the Aleutian Islands. These cities have been relatively peaceful through the CBR, and will most likely be once of the hardest hit when the eventual war with the Inuit commences.

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The turn ends with Ekeuhnick’s forces right outside Torreon. Will the White Walkers be able to take Parkes’ last tenuous hold on America?

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YES! Torreon falls to the Inuit, and Australia throws in the towel. The war is over, and while PArkes has gained some land from the White Walkers, it‘s not anywhere enough to make up for what was lost. In a rage, Parkes decides to join the growing coalition of Anti-Tibet, hoping to bring at least SOMEBODY down.

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The Inuit-Australia peace is also a boon for the Buccaneers, who are now protected by borders of Brazil and Inuit from further Aussie attacks. A lone Icelandic Caravel looks on, wondering what the hell it is doing out here.

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A shot of the North Africa, where workers vastly outnumber the acutal fighting units. While many cities are puppeted, the few that aren’t seem to be churning out a great deal of units. But war doesn’t seem to be on Ingolfur’s mind for the time, so Kruger is sending his legion of workers to clean up and set up before the carpet comes.

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Back on the Nordic war, Vantaa is on the verge of collapse, and previous Swedish gains seem to be well within their grasp. Meanwhile, Sibir clear the way for Finland’s fleets, but Kekkonen seems content to have his ships sit in the Arctic Circle for now.

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Further south, it seems Kekkonen has begun to put up a resistance. Minsk flipped back to his side, and Moscow has a few melee units nearby ready to take back the city. But Sweden has taken Vaasa, and doesn’t show signs of stopping his campaign any time soon.

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Nicaea, a city that has been ignored by Sweden for most of this campaign, now begins taking damage via bombing runs. From the coastline, Icelandic, Vietnamese, Boer, even a lone Armenian Paratrooper, watch, as Sweden tears through Finland like wet tissue paper.

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Near the levant, Paul Kruger seems to be moving a large number of forces toward Anatolia. Who know what is going th- hang on a minute. I-Is that a caravel I spy? In the Mediterranean?! Cmon’ Ingolfur, I know you have the most capitals, but that’s no excuse for not doing your upgrading!

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Ghanzi continues to remain green for the time being, though Kuchum Khan can and will probably have something to say about this. He is even sending a few quads to try and recapture Kabul. Meanwhile, Armenia continues to tempt fate as it re-arms itself, but the open borders between it two biggest threats seem to be good for Tiridates III.

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Nishapur and Bamda continue to hold for Sibir though, and the Trung Sisters seem to be struggling in capturing the cities, let alone securing them. But with all the resources wasted, one must wonder when peace will be declared, if ever.

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On the Indian subcontinent, we see a shot of Indietnam, along with a brief glimpse at Sri Lanka. With a mix of annexed and puppeted, these cities offer various degrees of importance, but thanks to Sri Lanka and Kimberley’s attitude, this seem to be fine for now.

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A shot of Sibir’s core, with few units, and even fewer puppeted cities. Despite that, Kuchum Khan’s cities have better city defense than their Mongolian brethren to the north in their exclave.

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The Blackfoot core meanwhile, has a large number of paratroopers, and a healthy smattering of tanks and artillery as well. If Crowfoot survives that long, those pararoopers will turn into XCOMs, meaning that Blackfoot can have even better snipes.

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A shot of Iceland’s border with the Inuit show 2 fleets, and while the White Walkers have a smaller fleet, Iceland has a whole bunch of carriers mucking things up. But to their credit, Ingfolur has more production muscle in Greenland than Ekeuhnick does on the former Canadian coast, so this could be anyone’s game, especially if Iceland upgrades all those paratroopers.

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Back on the Swedes, we see that Vantaa has fallen, and Tampere seems to be the next to go. Astute viewers may also see we have an extra spy at our disposal, and that can only mean one thing...

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Moscow has fallen to the Swedes! The Swedes celebrate both this victory, and the capture of Nicaea to the south. While the Finnish forces attempt to retake the city, Kekkonen retreats to Leningrad; his antlers broken, and glasses shattered, and smashed on Soviet vodka.

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While Minsk and Nicaea have not fallen firmly into Swedish hands, its seems only a matter of time before they fall into Gustavus’s hands like so many other Finnish cities. As Finland’s neighbors continue to watch, it seems unlikely that they will help Kekkonen escape his grisly fate.

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Moving westward, we see a shot of the Swedish core, where the cost is more heavily defended than the mainland. This is to be expected, considering that the armies march east into Finland, but Gustavus should think about unpuppeting some of those cities soon, as they can start churning out more units for war.

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Speaking of cores, check out that Boer core. Kruger’s homeland seems to be decently covered in a mixture of infantries and hovertanks, and many of his major cities, including former Kongolese capital M’banza Kongo, have been unpuppeted or continue to produce units, eager to refill Kruger’s armies.

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The north of Boer lands however, are sparsely filled, and filled with puppets. Although Iceland has a few cities like Rome and Cartaheg to pump out the units, the open borders with between the two civs, coupled with the fact that Ingolfur has no less than THREE CARAVELS sitting in the sea means that Paul Kruger probably has a bit more time to annex these cities

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As we continue along the coast, we see a few Boer cities have been annexed but are still in chains (get working on those courthouses Kruger), while Ingolfur has annexed the former fields of France. While this could spell trouble, Kruger’s cities have high defenses thanks to the various Future Worlds wonders, meaning it will take more than Caravels to bring them under Iceland’s control.

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Back in the mountains, Sibir and Vietnam still maintain their teneous grip on the cities from a few slides back, but Vietnam has taking to shelling a few of the inner cities. One must wonder how long this war will continue to rage, as no decisive breakthrough has been made.

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With the slow grindingness of the war, one must wonder why Vietnam or Sibir hasn‘t invaded the exclaves of Finland yet. These would open up new points in the conflict, and potentially cause a breakthrough. While this might backfire on Sibir, being close to the Finnish border, One must wonder why Vietnam continues to be peaceful with Kekkonen when there is so much to gain.

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Moving to the Veitnam core, we see the Vietnamese carpet is primarily UAV Drones, though the sisters seem to have a good number of paratroopers as well. We also see that the new religion Buddhism doesn’t seem to be spreading quickly, but is still doing better than Tibet’s religion, which doesn’t exist at all.

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The Kimberely send a trading ship to their former enemies Australia, where we get to see Sydney in all its glory. The Australians may have lost AMerica, but they aren’t budging from Oceania any time soon.

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The island chain to the northeast of New Zealand confirms this, as numerous cities have over 200 defense, and are protected by the Grand Wobbegong Armada. Only time will tell though, if Australia decides to use its massive power for anything besides defense.

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As the Inuit rebuild their new conquests, a Texan trading vessel is seen here, moving through Buccaneer lands to reach the the city of A’aninin on the other side of the country. Henry Morgan seems content to let Sam Houston survive for now, but one must wonder when Morgan will stop drinking his rum, and start pillaging again.

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Taking a look at cities for a change, we see Tiridates II rebuilding his glorious army, this time adding paratroopers to supplement his tanks and carriers. Yerevan also seems to be missing the plague that attacked so many many capitals.

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Down in Rio, Pedro II is working to harness the power of the tides to help him increase production in his capital. He also seems to have been spared the plague.

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Kaneohe also seems to be bereft of plague, as Kamehameha orders for more cargo ships to be built. His city is also close to making a Great Artist, who know what art it will make on the idyllic island.

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Reykjavik meanwhile, is busy creating Railgun Armor, most likely to shore up his defenses. With the Boers as a neighbor, Ingolfur is right to be building his army up. But perhaps it would be better to make these in the mainland Ingolfur?

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Tampere falls to the yellow fever, and it seems that Kuopio is next to go. The once mighty Finnish empire is now just a line between the might of Sweden and Sibir. While Finland may not go away for good due to their exclaves, the end is drawing near for Urho Kekkonen.

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Minsk and Nicaea have fallen into Sweden’s hands, and with no melee units in sights, it seems that this time they’re Gustavus’s for good. The Finnish forces should retreat to make their final stand soon, before the Finland is nothing more than exclaves.

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Look at all those Vietnamese troops.I didn’t realize what Vietnam was doing at first with all these units here, but then it hit me. Vietnam is going THROUGH Finland to reach Sibir! It’s a ballsy move folks, but will it pay off?

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As we look at the Arabian peninsula, we see that the majority of Vietnamese cities are undefended(with the exception of Vung Tau), while the Boers have many workers but few troops in the area. Do the Trung Sisters feel that safe, or do they just not want to send anyone into the desert?

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One thing’s for certain, anything’s better than the mountain meatgrinder. Sibir forces are positioned in Tyumen, not allowing Vietnam to cross through the exclave into their homeland. Besides a little more bombing for the border towns, it’s business as usual here.

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That’s not to say the Trung Sisters aren’t trying. Units seem to be marching from Xigaze and Hoa Lu towards the fight, which could see more intense fighting in the coming parts. Also of note is Tibet’s units spreading out into Vietnam, eagerly spreading out to make their own outdated carpet to rival Mongolia.

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Up in the frozen coast of Asia, a couple of Finnish draft dodging paratroopers watch as White Walker workers work hard at improving the lands formerly held by Yakutia. While there aren’t many units and a whole lot of puppeted cities, Ekeuhnick might soon have this area covered in a blizzard of units.

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Down in Indonesia, we see a large group of Australian units, defending the islands in case of an invasion by Vietnam. While such a thing is unlikely, Parkes’ turtling strategy might create troubles down the line for the Trung Sisters.

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THAR SHE BLOWS, the poorly defended Buccaneer core! Morgan only has a handful of troops, scattered across the Caribbean, and much of his air force is stationed in Petit-Grove. He’s going to have to put some real muscle into unit production, or else the Inuit may decide they want some rum.

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And with that, we come to the Stats Slides! Here we have a look at the gold count, where Paul Kruger has a considerable 4 BILLION gold lead over the runner up Australia. Now if only Kruger could start using that money...

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At the bottom of the ladder though, we see that Finland is now hemorrhaging money, having lost most of their empire to Sweden. It’s getting to the point that Finland might not be able to pay his troops.

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Turning to Land area, Australia continues to hold the record, whereas the Boers and Inuit are in a close race for second place. However, considering that InfoAddict counts the water tiles, looking at u/Pythor101’s recent post of Civs True Size, the Boers have the largest land area. Sweden has also added a large amount of land to their empire, allowing them to pass Korea in size.

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Finland, meanwhile, falls behind Kimberley and the Buccaneers, with Mongolia not far behind them. Just imagine: if Genghis had taken Turfan Finland’s fall would have been even more embarrassing.

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Next we have military manpower, where we see the gap between Australia’s first place shrinking as the Boers and Inuit catch up. Sweden’s military is still holding strong, only 100 thousand men behind Kuchum Khan.

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Urho’s military meanwhile, is in tatters, having fallen behind Sri Lanka. Worse still, a great deal of that manpower is either far from the battleground of Eurasia, or a fleet with no one to fight.

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Finally we end with a global relations image, showing just how much Tibet is reviled. Don’t worry Tibet, we still love you >

Part 86: Requiem for a Leg Day – mk2

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