Part 91: Break Down the Walls

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Civilization Battle Royale, Part 91! I am your host, /u/jmangelo67 (For Dawkinzz, that is J.M. Angelo), long time lover of underdog civs and the head of the power rankers for the CBR. Originally the team created for MK3, we eventually got pushed over onto the MK2.1 project as the new Power Rankers. Here we see a tweet from Don Pedro II moments before bringing a hurricane to Laredo, ending Sam Houston’s career as Sheriff.

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Here we see a tile accurate map by /u/DerErklonig (spell check that) and it is a nice reference to make clear who the powers are, here; however, we all have seen how quickly power shifts in this game!

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We have another OC created by /u/Munkey_Chumbles that shows us how our Civball universe feels about the current changes! I quite enjoy the civballs, as they are a simplistic, comedic, and stylistic way to make the CBR more enjoyable to spread into what I may call (dare I say it?), a fandom!

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As always, the Boers continue to dominate the PR. Any notion we had that the Inuit could outdo the Boers is overshadowed by the multiple cities and capitals that the Boers have taken away from Vietnam.

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After hearing that I have been granted the right to narrate, the sub celebrates a golden age, knowing that things will get exciting this week! For those that have forgotten our golden age festivities, we commonly drink champagne, dance, riot, create ARGs, and geek out over the BR’s future.

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The former Afghan Antarctic Bastion under Boer control is shown here, as Boer scientists are picking up on a seismic sonic anomaly coming from an impassable range of mountains. Something about Babylon?

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Not only do we see an armada of Kimberley ships and an Australian peacekeeper, to the north we can see that Boer-Somalia is starting to hurt a bit.

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Contrary to Somalia, the Vietnamese Indian subcontinent is recovering from its previous attacks, with Kimberley peacekeepers crowding the Indian Ocean so that Vietnam can keep population, production, time, and military.

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Boer cities continue to burn and the Vietnamese create a last hold in Central Asia whilst Boer cities are burning to nuclear hellfire.

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In the meantime, Sibir seems barely able to attack the Trungs. Nishapur may be safe, but it is not too likely. Meanwhile, despite Urgench being in the black, Sibir has no units capable of taking it while a clump of units surround it.

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Australian Peace reaches as far as Ireland! This also gives us the opportunity to see most of Iceland’s military. I have been a big critic of Iceland and, whilst they have strong units on their land force (which at times is skimpy), the majority of their naval military is made of empty carriers. Dear Iceland fans, I think Ingolfur is a paper champion.

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We also see that Australia is affected by the carrier plague, but more importantly are creating hovertanks and starting to fill their empty sea. I repeat, EMPTY sea. Polynesia is frankly open to any invader.

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What is interesting is that Australia is planning a naval attack, likely on Brazil or the Buccs! This could be a second chance for Parkes to prove himself seeing as Brazil has had trouble carpeting since the reboot. Could Australia create an empire that sees three oceans?

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We take a look at the former Indonesian city of Whangarei building an Autoplant! A boost to Australian production from any city is always good, and this just goes to show that we haven’t even begun to see the maximum potential of the Wobbegong.

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Meanwhile, Australia’s potential victim, Don Pedro, is starting to build an air force in the Chilean city of Valdiva. Perhaps an air force can bombard Australia’s naval force enough to protect his continent?

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But now for the fans of Exclavia, looking at the Afghan refuge of Batticaloa shows us that Urho is desperately trying to repair his fallen infrastructure and economy. Owing thousands of gold whilst losing city upon city to Sweden, Exclavia building a cargo ship shows just how far they have fallen.

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Sparta’s former capital is producing cybersubs, showing that Ingolfur might be more aware of his naval weakness than we realize.

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Jakarta, the former Indonesian capital and nicest city under Jandamarra’s control… Or should we say Jandamada? An air force is being created by the Kimberley, proving that the Kimberley are conscious of being sandwiched between two superpowers.

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Boom. Kufah has been nuked out of existence, breaking the foothold of Somalia, if not for just a moment. A Lutheran Missionary makes a prayer for those lost. This goes to show that no city is safe, not even one deep into Boer Africa.

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Things seem clear for the perpetrators of nuclear destruction, but each city is vulnerable to flipping into Boer hands. The same can be said for Persepolis and Pasargadae, but the Boers can afford to lose those cities compared to the Trungs

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The Trung atrocities do not end after Kufah, however. They bombard the former Timurid lands and cover the Sibir countryside in fallout. This is incredibly crippling for Sibir and their offensive. Kuchum Khan is lucky that Carrollton has not fallen yet.

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Sri Lankan peacekeepers are flooding into the Middle East and we see some biotroopers charging in from the mainland, but if we look North we can see something terrible has happened.

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The walls of Jericho have fallen. An ancient Israelite city has been reduced to cinders. This would give Armenia the opportunity to expand for a fourth city, however! Had it not been for the fact Gaza is puppeted… TIRIDATES YOU FOOL!

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The Boers, seeking vengeance for the many that the Trungs have killed, continue their charge into Central Asia. Vietnam seems to have a force at the front, but we can see that their military is not backed up at all. Vietnam’s carpet has dissolved.

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That statement is only proven here, where we can only see workers and a few paratroopers deep into central Vietnam. Nothing is stopping the Boers, or any nation for that matter, from tearing apart the southern half of Asia.

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The Knights of the Maond find themselves among a swarm of Siberian carriers in what is mainly a useless navy, regardless of its position in the world. We do see a little rebuilding of Sibir’s core, which is desperately needed if Kuchum Khan wants to even have a chance of staying in this game.

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As the International Games is passed, despite a few objections from the now deceased Sam Houston, Kekkonen, and Kamehameha, we get to look at the Boer core of the Sahara. Although it seems at first glance to be covered in units, they are all workers that are already on improved tiles. For once, the Boers are severely undefended. Maybe this game isn’t one sided after all…

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Ecbatana falls to the Boer onslaught and Ghazni is in the black. The Hunnic workers flee their home of Vietnam from their Boer hunters. Honestly, Central Asia seems to be ready to fall to the Boers at any moment.

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Vietnam has a chance to reclaim Nishapur, but otherwise their options are limited. Meanwhile, Sibir continues to burn in a terrible crisis with a need to rebuild.

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We can see a little unit construction occurring in Brazil, which is always nice (especially when you look at their Giant Death Robot in the Northwest). We also see the Australian military moving so far as to sit between the Boer and Brazilian continents. Also of note, the Buccaneers are losing more and more land through Boer settlers near Bamako.

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The last Texan Battleship continues to roam the seas and spots an Icelandic Caravel. A refugee points out that Iceland is sporting wooden boats,thus may be an easy target. The admiral chuckles at such a foolish idea, but devolves into tears knowing that his battleship cannot house a school to educate his people, damning all future generations.

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We see that Korea has the gall to actually spawn settlers thinking they may have a chance at planting a city in the gaps that Vietnam’s hellfire had created. I have a feeling that that will not work. On the bright side Korea fans, Sejong actually seems to be pumping out a few units thankfully.

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The International Games are finished in rapid time! The Boers doubled the production of third place Inuit and outdid Vietnam incredibly as well. Vietnam should not be spending their production on six happiness, but some people like sports enough to damn their own people to absolute death and assimilation into the Boer. Also of note, Mongolia gets a small win by gaining 3 happiness, caring enough about sports to actually try unlike every other living civ.

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As the Boers finally reclaim the land they lost in Somalia, the Trungs ruthlessly nuke Khurasan off the face of the cylinder. If it means crippling the Boers, the Trungs must be desparate enough to try anything; however, I think they should concentrate any nuclear missiles on the Boer forces around Persia to try and reclaim Central Asia.

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The Armenians slowly but surely lose their opportunity of settling a fourth city as Sweden takes on the old trend of Bordergore along with Vietnam and Finland. The Boers will regain this land, too. Tiridates, you absolute fool. You must be STRONKER THAN THIS!

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Northern Vietnam is just as empty as the rest of it and, even if Vietnam DID have a few units here, Bamda is totally surrounded by Australian peacekeepers. The student has surpassed the master, showing that Australia can even outdo Kamehameha at his signature move.

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Kuchum Khan is building an air force and I appreciate the effort, but this means nothing considering how far north it is and the lack of infantry units belittles their purpose. I suppose it could be used to destroy Tygyn Darkhan once and for all, but that is just an assumption.

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Despite not being a thick shag carpet, the Buccs have a strong set of decent units! If an attack from Australia or Brazil comes, they can protect themselves for a small period of time. If they want, they can take a crack at the Blackfoot, but I do not recommend it.

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The Aleutian Islands are well defended… Now look at the Inuit. The Ice Sheet Fleet looks formidable and, for that, I must commend the Inuit.

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Despite being the first religion founded, Australia still has not spread its religion farther into Japan. As much as it helps to spread it to other civs, it seems like it would be more beneficial to strengthen the religion in your own territory so it can spread quickly elsewhere. Case and point, the Boers.

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Gordium falls to the Boers. This means Persia has fallen to Kruger’s cyborg armies and Vietnam has no chance of even defending Central Asia. I see the onslaught not stopping till Afghanistan, but that is optimistic thinking.

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It may be safe to say that Australia is not going to attack Brazil, as they would not place the majority of their forces in Brazil. I think we may be seeing an assault on the Buccaneers, which could mean good things for Don Pedro as Australia’s forces would be cut off in the Caribbean for a surprise declaration. Or they could attack the Buccs as Australia evaporates their units.

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The Vietnamese prophet Christian Rosenkreuz, claiming to be the reborn Songtsen Gampo, seeks to spread the Theravada faith for Vietnam. For real life historical context, Christian Rosenkreuz founded the Order of the Rose Cross in the 17th century, based on a legend claiming that Rosenkreuz is the reincarnated soul of Lazarus. Interesting stuff, and I recommend reading about him!

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Onto the infoaddict slides! Australia proves it has the largest military in the world, even greater that the Boers have ever been. The Inuit and the Boers are tied with military strength and we see Vietnam’s military has crashed so horribly that now it can only be compared to every other middling civ.

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As far as production goes, the Boers are dominating. Most AI game hosts will agree that production is what wins these games, and the Boers have a lot of it. Though let us not belittle how much production the Inuit have. Surprisingly, Vietnam and Australia are on equal footing for their production. If either go to war, it will boost their production considerably if either wins.

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And here we see the Great Famine! Holy moly, if anybody can recover from a damning worldwide plague, it would be Kruger. Though everyone is recovering, the Boers are thriving and regaining every lost citizen fairly quickly.

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Can you actually believe the Boers are behind Korea, Australia, and the Inuit in tech? Of course they’re all first, the Boers second, Sibir a coming in strong at third, and Vietnam & Brazil on the precipice at fourth.

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Armenia rounds out the bottom, but Mongolia (who has been hyped as the great underdog for weeks) is noticeably lacking in technology. Despite their military outnumbering Korea’s and Sibir’s (and honestly Vietnam’s), the Mongolian forces would get shredded by their neighbor’s city defenses.

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We can see Lutheranism is dominating the religious world, but the Blackfoot are really plugging away in the Americas with Arianism. The other religions are too slow in comparison, but trying their best. The only exception is Dodekatheism, which seems to be going the way of the Ayyubids’ faith.

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For reference, it looks like Armenia has been doing more converting than Australia. At least Tiridates has that claim to fame. The Blackfoot will easily be able to encompass the western hemisphere and most likely spread their faith further into Russia. Theravada is having more troubles, but it is doing well

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The Boers have the best cities in the world and Vietnam has the second best cities in the world. Hard to believe the latter is getting annihilated in its western flank by the former, but so is the way of the Boers. They must be stopped.

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Oh, we are not done by the way. Madagascar is covered in Australian units, making the land less useful. Also notable, the Kimberley have a surprisingly large navy.

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Just as Kekkonen flees Hebron, Gustavus rebuilds his army as quickly as possible, showing that he may be getting ready to strike Sibir. That is nice and all, but there is one problem with that plan…

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WAR FOR EUROPE HAS BEGUN! PLACE YOUR BETS IN THE BRSE, FLAIR UP, AND SHITPOST LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW! I have been your narrator and it has been an honor as a long time fan to narrate. /u/jmangelo67 out! Goodnight!

Part 91: Break Down the Walls – mk2

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