Part 92: How to Augment your Dragon

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Hello there everyone, this is /u/LunarNeedle and I‘m here in assistance with Blue Cassette to bring you the long awaited part 92 of the Civilization Battle Royale. This shitpost was brought to us by gamer29475 on behalf of Spongebob. However, instead of celebrating a beautiful song, he celebrated as Boer’s absolutely ravaged Vietnam, potentially bringing this game slightly closer to resolution. At this I would provide some kind of summary of the coming part but I really cannot do this part justice... I really can‘t. Buckle your seatbelts guys, we‘re hitting plaid.

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Here we can directly compare differences to see what exactly happened last part. We see a few cities nuked off the face of the earth. A new city was settled, named Jyvaskyla, just south of Nedong and next to Antioch. We also saw Artashat, Ecbatana, Persepolis and Gordium all flip orange, while another city just off of frame gets settled right beneath Helsinki. Also we see some tiles exchanged in aggressive citadelling. Remember folks, citadelling in Civ is actually a terrible diplomatic modifier and Sweden did it twice to Sibir. Could this be an indicator of chaos to follow?

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The famous /u/ASphericalMelon map but now enhanced with puppeted lands you can see how each and every area has been treated by their owner. More notably, we see a puppeted Sweden, which considering the mic drop in the last part might not be a good thing. Boers also have a surprisingly high amount of puppeted cities, as does Australia, so we‘ll have to wait for a full and total annexation of such cities to reach peak condition.

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The famous Glycolysis, famous for having five alts banned on Discord yet being a rather hilariously opinionated Discord staff member. Fresh off of the falling of Dvin, he has decided to create a hill and mountain map showing the terrain difficulties ahead for the Boer offensive. As we can see from the severe amount of hills and mountains in the Viet core, should Boers reach deep enough to pass the Middle East and border Sri Lanka, they’ll have a far easier time pushing into the core... provided they don’t get lost in the Tibetan mountains trying to #FreeTibet. Go for the dream, Kruger.

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Fun fact, I wrote this slide before the Power Rankers released their part and for good reason. Can anyone even question Boer‘s dominance now? So instead of detailing why Boer‘s are running away with this game, I‘d like to point a spotlight at how bad everyone else is doing. Inuit isn‘t doing anything despite weak neighbours, Brazil isn‘t building a navy despite their only threats being naval, Vietnam is still building drone UAV‘s and finally the war between Sibir and Vietnam has been going on for so long that we had to cull the images of the conflict as to not have Dawkinzz die from liver failure.

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Munich immediately takes damage from the war announced last part. We also see damage cross over to the other side, but it doesn‘t seem to amount in much. We might see Munich flip, but the main focus is on the Iceland-Sweden meat grinder on top. What worries me isn‘t the lack of units in this shot, but the lack of planes, which will make melee engages far far easier.

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Armenian soldiers watch as Tigranocerta flips to being Icelandic with small chance of flipping back, lovely Boer-der gore appearing in the process. Good job Boers. Messene also flips, but this one seems to be temporary. I expect Constantinople to flip many times in the future.

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It seems that Vietnam is forming a strong wall against Boers here, but I doubt the longevity of this front. Good usage of planes in the former Persian capital means that cities will be flipping and fast. Once Kabul and Samarkand fall, it might be time to consider Vietnam toast as a world power.

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Oh hey, nice strip of flat desert you have. That must be nice. But in other words, look at all those specialist slots being used. I wonder if they might turn that flatland desert into a commercial hub. What would they sell? The dreams of an empire or a lot (and I mean a lot) of sand. Nobody knows.

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Fatehpur Sikri is actually a really nice city all things considered. 200 science from one city and fifty production isn‘t nothing to sneeze at. The Future Era improvements are also coming in, so it‘ll be awhile before this city becomes strong. It‘s just a shame that they are so far behind that they aren‘t a player, but I know someone would happily take this city from their hands.

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However, in order to be an empire, you have to be this tall to ride. This is the bare minimum an empire‘s cities needs to be for their owner to be considered a world power. Now, if only they could be producing literally anything but infrastructure before they become Australias digger dumping ground. However, that seems to be in the south, as if they‘re planning something!

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Hovd meanwhile is what you want to avoid. Sure, it has a modicum of production, it‘s losing citizens to the Great Famine that will hurt them more. He needs to trade tiles with other cities now to recover this city to its former glory.

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Helsinki meanwhile is suffering from a greater plague. This once capital is suffering from the amount of science and gold it‘s needlessly producing. I know AI doesn‘t like to rebuild improvements, but now is the time. Ditch the gold and culture and get food ASAP. Wait, I just realized I‘m giving advice to an AI. I need to stop.

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Opting to move to the lesser used cities in the major empires might help us reveal what‘s in the minds of these madmen. Although, I don‘t think we‘ll need to wait long.

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AS NATIONAL HERITAGE SITES AND INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION WILL BE DELIBERATED! YES!... Oh wait, that‘s not big deal in this image is it?

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As the mic just got dropped. Henry “The Hammer” Parkes has opted to enact judgement in front of thousands of viewers on the Battle Royale Network! Vigan itself reels back from the pain, containing all the one plane in this shot, presumably planned to be sent towards the encroaching Boer menace. Remember that time I said that Vietnam was dead if they lost Kabul? Yeah, that time has come and passed. They will just have to weather the storm.

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To weather the storm, you need insulation, and considering their army of submarines, it seems likely that they will weather attacks from the south. However, you cannot forget the Diggers to the north and the assault from southern Japan. This will truly test the Trung sisters‘ war prowess. Now, just declare war on the Kimberly so they can get out of your country, and the Blackfoot too. Actually, yeah. This might be harder than even I thought...

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Fighting the Kimberly would be a death errand. While it could be close, it‘d almost certainly mean one front would collapse. You cannot get those Kimberly out, you have to accept them for now Trungs. It‘s actually amazing to think that if they fought they could expand their empire, or take down a once top tier world power. That‘s a scary, yet amusing thought.

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But what are we dealing with here? Things have changed since their last conflict has occurred. Namely the size, considering Australia‘s jawdropping production and military size. If they devote their full self to this war, this could be a bloodbath. You might laugh thinking that, and indeed you might laugh thinking this might not happen but remember—all biases are randomized to a certain extent. Let‘s just hope that Australia rolled high.

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With a drop in land area, Vietnam represents a solid fourth place Civilization, with an impressive amount of trade route and a huge amount of gold, they could buy their way to survival if they play their cards right. There is a way they could actually turn on Australia and potentially carve a way inwards while Boer‘s get exhausted in the meat grinder of former Afghanistan. R-Right?

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Oh... About that... There‘s a good chance that we might see the Great Vietnamese Partition from all sides. That‘s a large enough land army to actually delete the armies around Rach Hia and Hoa Lu and possibly take them with this along. Henry Parkes just has to hope that the Open Borders agreement with Sejong doesn‘t expire as he does it.

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Okay, this is ridiculous. This front may be small, but we could be seeing a five front war. Two stealth attacks from Australia to the north, an aerial and naval assault in Southern Japan, a frontal assault right in front of the Vietnamese core and the great Boer offensive to the west. The question is, which wall will crumble first?

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As the turn progresses, we see this fragile front evaporate like water in a flashpan, as Ghazni and Gordium see their health in the red as even the first sign of blood at Samarkand already shows. It seems that Australia will need to act fast, or we might be seeing Hanoi fly more orange colours sooner than anticipated.

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Enjoying Tigranocerta and Constantinople, Iceland? Well say your last words because it seems like your grip on them will only last briefly. Speaking of losing grip, Messene is firmly in the hands of the angered Ingolfur Arnarson and most likely for good. In fact, the good news for Sweden ends here, with strong offenses on the mainland. It seems the flashpan of conflict will exist on the extensive European land border and the naval front between the Icelandic Isles and Swedish core. Excitement is brewing.

25

With the war front pushing past Cologne and towards Hamburg on land it seems that Iceland for now has the advantage, but it‘s hard to say if that‘s from the ground troops or the 6 planes stationed in Neapolis. In the navy however, it seems to be the opposite but it‘s still far too close to tell. I wouldn‘t be surprised if this navy was completely bare in a few turns.

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Blackfoot and Buccs are livid as the declaration of war is targeted towards their Southern competitor instead of themselves! I‘m not going to lie in saying the potential for this is great, especially considering how massive the navies are. It‘s just the stubborn fact that Buccaneers are preventing this from being a bloodbath. It‘ll take a chunk of the Inuit Ice Sheet Fleet to unlodge and ram into the undefended Brazilian coast for any damage to come of this war. For now, keep your eyes on Port Royale, as a declaration of war on them could spell the unification of the Americas.

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The Inuit submarines merely watch Tulum, knowing that without a melee unit, it‘s impossible to capture that city. They just watch and plan the decorations for their new city. Should the turret go there, or should that be remade into a game room? Decisions, decisions. In other news, it seems that Australia has open borders with their once rival. What is Parkes planning that he hasn‘t already enacted?

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The Kimberly are doing their best to ensure someone from Australia makes landfall. Without melee units to protect, these cities are practically defenseless. Australia will need to use their airforce, and well, to damage these cities or cut through the endless array of empty carriers and subs. Although, amusingly, the Kimberly existing is causing a submarine with nuclear capabilities to be stranded off the coast of Amaravati. Well played Kimberly, well played.

29

‘Ramming into the wall with enough heads should work‘, justifies the tired two- hundreth Digger core as they ram tirelessly into Rach Gia. I would just say something about ranged units and air power, but I think I‘m spinning tires here. You keep on doing you, Digger carpet. You do you.

30

Iceland makes gains! It seems that Tegea is firmly in the hands of Iceland as the armies could march towards Lodz and Corinth and deplete the little airforce they have. This city could flip a few more times, but at this point, it might be best to draw the battlelines here. This is a surprisingly good usage of the Icelandic military, already flipping two cities in this area of the cylinder alone.

31

I told you bro. I told you about the airforce bro. With this array of bombers, it seems unlikely any Swedish city in this part of the world will remain in green health, comfortably laying waste to Munich already and not even sweating the assault on Cologne as Hamburg takes damage. Meanwhile in naval warfare, Sweden tried ramming ships like it was World of Warships, but unfortunately for them that doesn‘t work here, isolating majority of their damage and some nuclear capacity to the icy fleet.

32

Our golden age has ended? Ha. Please. It‘s just begun as Tygyn Darkhan has won the in-game Rap Royale and has passed the microphone down to the sub. Will you be a contender? In other words, Korea has a military again! At least here... kinda...

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How? I mean, points for effort, but how did they snipe Thi Li Bi Nai from Vietnam? It seems like they can hold this as well, considering the absolutely pitiful amount of melee units anywhere near here. Ambon also looks to fall as the Amaravati, a tactical location to store all of Vietnam‘s planes. Taking the Amaravati airforce would definitely hurt the campaign against well, everyone that their fending off right now. Send them to the Boer meatgrinder now, or face penalties later. Also, hey, Kimberly. Attack. Like now. Please?

34

More shots of this area is always nice as I see actual gains here for Vietnam if they play their cards right. Exposed air force aside, this seems to be great for the conflict. If Vigan is the point of landfall, it‘s over for Vietnam as there is melee units and air force to support them. A rare combination means cities can flip and fast. However, slowing that remains a decent army widdling away at the advanced Future World melee units knocking on Vigan‘s door. Can Australia into land?

35

They can into other people land at least. I can see that Korea is building a military, in fact their building it as fast as possible, filling out lands and stacking units in city as they desperately hope that Bach Gia remains the resting ground of the Digger Hoard. But, looking at it, not many of these are Diggers, in fact, they‘re all respectable units. If they make their way towards Vigan, they could actually punch into the empire. Stop watching anime and go fight. Weebs, the lot of ‘em.

36

Self deprecating humor aside, we can see why the Boer‘s are winning, they have a strong air fo-... Wait, that‘s not an air force, that‘s nukes? Oh boy. The walls of Jerico fell last part, so now the walls of everywhere will fall by nuclear power alone. If they can use this power, they can utterly devastate Vietnam‘s core and cities one happy nuke at a time. The Worker bot army is following closely behind to clean up the “accidental” spills of nuclear material.

37

I‘ve seen a tank here in Batticaloa for so long, I actually think this is just what the tank does. Practicing with the refugees of nations once strong. In other words, I just realized Baghdad flipped. That‘s actually good news for Vietnam, as flipping cities is what prevented a total wipe of Buccaneers off Africa. Keep on flipping till the end of time Vietnam. Not just for you, but for the game.

38

While it seems that Constantinople might remain in the tired hands of Iceland or Sweden, the core of Europe is starting to tremble and move in the way of Iceland and with a rather empty core. It seems that if they can cut through this attack, they might be able to take Europe whole. I love my Sweden dearly, but unless Gustavus Adolphus pulls a miracle play, he could lose all the hard gains he acquired. A truly Icelandic move to capitalize on another armies weakness from previous conquest to conquest himself. Once it was Ireland after the war with England, then it was France after France tried fighting everyone and now it‘s Sweden after Finland. If they have the troops, perhaps their aiming to march on Sibir, which would lead to an empire that might be able to take down the Boers. Maybe? Probably not.

39

Reading off page 44 on How To Fight Wars Good, he sent his boats in to ram Submarines and Battleships. Immediately regretting that decision, he moves his army back which might be to his detriment. Now he leaves his Western flank imposed to a still existent navy which could potentially flip-... actually nevermind. Both of these armies are already spent and have been for awhile now. Now it relies on the usage of every available resource they have, even distraction carriers if need be, to win this war.

40

Sweden might be mildly undefended, but they have the means to unleash a submarine based terror on the Icelandic fleet. It looks actually kinda humorous to have them up there all in the ice. It‘s like they‘re planning to use the ice against the self-proclaimed land of ice. If only they weren’t so far away. Next time Adolphus, use the military. That‘ll truly spook them.

41

Don‘t think of it. Don‘t you dare go out in a blaze of glory. You know that now with their navy, the Boer menace can easily paint Cuba orange. Although, that happening would cause a dog-pile collapse by Inuit and Brazil, which might be what‘s needed to unify the Americas so it might not be that bad? In another note, imagine if Boer‘s had Diggers. Look at all those workers that can become useless crappy units. If there is a Mk3, it‘ll need to cap these workers, because all of these units are definitely adding to the turn times.

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O-Oh my, that‘s... I said this was going to be a good part, but could Inuit be planning a Korean takeover? Look at all the units nearby the border here as well as that impressive bombing carpet. Maybe that‘s why their military is all here. Perhaps this area will explode in the coming turns. All I know is that if it happens, it will be glorious.

43

Thi Li Bi Nai remains Australia for now, but a nearby Giant Death Robot wants to say hello. A few cities, namely My Son and Ambon, are in the red, but without Vietnamese units, it seems unlikely that there will be any more sweet gains on the front with all the peacekeepers in the way. Hawaii confirmed puppetmaster of Australia, Kimberly and Blackfoot. You heard it here first.

44

I didn‘t believe my lying eyes but I could‘ve sworn it happened. Holy hell. Australia made beachhead and with their amount of troops pouring it, it seems like this city might flip a lot, but it seems likely to hold. Just off the left side of the image there is Hanoi and if this blitz Is successful, we could be seeing an Australian foothold. Australia can into land. They can. But for how long?

45

This declaration of war seemed surreal, but now we could be seeing the utter destruction of Vietnam as a whole. Stop building all infrastructure now Trungs. Henry‘s knockin‘.

46

As Baghdad falls, Gordium flips for one turn. It seems that while the tactic of annoying the Boers is working. Samarkand and Lashkar Gar are in the yellow while the first bombing raids over Isfahhan slowly drop the HP.

47

This war was a mistake. Gaining Constantinople is one thing but Corrinth is in yellow. Adrianople is starting to take damage and the defense around Munich trembles to the oncoming advance. At this point, I could see Sibir potentially make gains against Sweden as well due to Vietnam being busy. Things are looking dire Adolphus, you need to act and fast to keep the dream of an Swedish Europe alive.

48

The navy has evaporated like I presumed while the warfront is too close to call here. It seems like Sweden isn‘t doing so great from the unit HP. It seems like Munich will fall soon with Hamburg falling over shortly after but it can easily go the other way.

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Alas, the part comes to a close. It feels so short for me, as I joined narrating when I had to deal with a 90+ slide monster and before the CivBattleRoyale I had to do a 110+ slide nightmare for the Lurking Royale. But that‘s not to say this part has been boring. In fact I say the opposite. What you see grayed out behind you should summarize why this part has been one of the best easily since the reboot. Australia might be looking to carve out a foothold in Vietnam, and with their insane unit production as seen here, could potentially challenge the Boer carpet they‘ll soon no doubt border. They could then forge an attack on Korea and Mongolia and actually flip the east to being all Green and Gold. The fate of the game lies in the success, or lack thereof, from Mongolia, Sibir and Korea‘s part as giving either the Boers or Australia that land could mean the world for this game. Either way you look at it, this part will be the part that changed the entire game.

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Although, when it comes to production, it‘s a battle of Boers versus the Inuit. And for good reason, they both have neighbors with far weaker production and a far smaller army. If Inuit could launch XCOM armies in, they could severely weaken if not secure a coastline city for future assaults. I just think betting on bloodbath aside from the reconquest of Laredo might be playing it up a bit too much, but we never know. I was thinking Thi Li Bi Nai was never going to be reconquered by Vietnam and look who rode in. Keep your eyes pealed on this front for any odd units moving through Buccaneers or around them.

51

Great Famine indeed. Holy hell. It might takes aeons for Civs to reach or approve their pre-hiatus numbers, but one thing is for certain is that some are more hard hit than others, but almost all are at or over 50% of the way recovered and some like Vietnam and Brazil have more population then before. Thankfully at this stage in the game, citizens don‘t amount for much beyond science and Great People.

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O-Oh my... Henry Parkes will have the money to fund any expansion at this rate. Maybe this is why there is so many Diggers around... Either way, it seems that many Civs are getting money from other Civs. The only one untouched by Australia‘s money sucking hand in North America is Blackfoot. Good job Blackfoot!

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Arianism spreads in North America while Armenia does all the heavy lifting with Catholicism. Meanwhile the healthy Lutheranism remains the strongest in the world due to being in the Worker laden Africa at over a thousand devote followers. Boer‘s once more proving why they deserve the number one spot in the Power Rankings.

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And here is it mapped out for your viewing glory. Now while I could go on about wars, I‘ll leave that microphone to you. Echo in the comments what you‘re hyped about. Are you more hyped about Inuit and Brazil than I am? Do you think Australia will struggle to hold land against Vietnamese? Do you think ANYONE will stop the incoming Boer carpet of doom? Now while you rant and rave about who will win the three wars in this part, I‘ll make my adieu. If you want any more AI games or related content, please check the CBR Battle Royale, the hopefully coming Rap Battle Royale, and Civ AI games for more amazing content. This has been the all knowing / u/LunarNeedle doing the text narrations and also the charismatic Dawkinzz if you‘re listening to the audio narration. Together we both bid you farewell.

Part 92: How to Augment your Dragon – mk2

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