Power Rankings: Episode 30 – S4

NopeCopter:

And so ends the tale of Royal Hungary, perhaps simultaneously the most and least gritty civ on the cylinder. Initially predicted to do… not so well, things already seemed to be turning against Royal Hungary when both Bavaria and Latvia hit the ground running - a rarity in test games. But everything changed when Royal Hungary pulled a staple of legendary civs: pouring all their production into military early on, and successfully taking an early city capture off an overly-expansive neighbor (in this case, Bavaria). The capture of Regensburg, coupled with a bit more settling, seemed to turn opinions around heavily on Royal Hungary, and this brought them to their all-time high Power Ranking of 19. This… unfortunately didn’t last, however, as Latvia grew much stronger much quicker than the starving and stagnant Royal Hungary. Their top-of-the-game military sat around with a well-fortified Bavaria eager to launch invasions in one direction, and a Latvia and Makhnovia they didn’t bother to exploit on the other. And then as if that wasn’t bad enough, they didn’t even bother to expand much further, allowing Pontus and Rome to settle most of the Balkans.

Things turned around slightly for Royal Hungary when they finally decided to take the empty and undefended Pontic forward-settle of Gaziura, but it took them so long that Latvia was able to take a city off of them in turn, putting a bit of a sour note on the whole affair. This also decisively trapped Royal Hungary, without a great direction to expand into. They didn’t really do anything for a good few episodes after this point until Makhnovia of all civs launched another invasion which eventually took Kassa, alongside a Roman siege that eventually took the coastal city of Gyor. At this point, the pattern was set of Royal Hungary fighting a bitter but ultimately fruitless war that cost them exactly one city, and so when Bavaria finally returned for revenge, it wasn’t  exactly a great sign. And indeed, before long, Bavaria had not only retaken Regensburg but even threatened the capital of Csjete, though that was turned around in a surprisingly effective defense and (eventual) counterattack.

Royal Hungary spent the last third of its existence as a two-city rump state trapped between mid-tier powers, hardly a satisfying existence. One more gutsy attack on Bavaria alongside Latvia failed to go anywhere, and then Royal Hungary finally ended their long, tiring, back-and-forth war with Bavaria by… giving up one of their two remaining cities. Agonizing. At least they ended a war with Latvia without losing anything. Thankfully for what little dignity Royal Hungary had left, Bavaria returned to finish the job not long after, and the stake was driven into the vampire’s heart after centuries of trying to stem the bleeding.

This ends the tale of Royal Hungary, a civilization with an eternally impressive military but not much else, always ranked near the bottom, struggling to survive as foreign powers took chunk after chunk out of their modest domain. It’s a shame it had to be this way. F.

ECH:

Shang will, as the annals of CBR history are written, go down as an entirely distinct competitor. Much in the same way so many mass murderers tend to be distinct, in Daji’s case. A distinct start, expected to flounder in the competitive environment of East Asia, only to pump out settlers and immediately jump from expectations of 47th in Episode 0 to 6th by the end of Episode 1. A distinct rise, taking that immediate early momentum and seemingly entirely validating it with more settles, stat growth, and some of the first successful warring of the game against their Mongol neighbors, earning them the rank of 1st in Episode 2 and 3, and staying put in the top 10 for 11 more episodes after. A distinct martial prowess, taking advantage of their early spearman UU to fill a good carpet and keep their threat level high.

A distinct fall, as first a coalition between rising star Goguryeo and continual sidekick Ikko Ikki toppled Shang’s assumed supremacy of the region, and then, most dramatically, their Unique Ability became a tool of national deterioration as Daji elected to not just murder her city pops for luxuries, but to do it to an extent that we began noting cities in anarchy for dozens, then later 50+, turns, crippling her civ in a way I cannot think I’ve seen before from a major player. A distinctly uncertain stagnation, as Shang dropped from 4th to 17th to 32nd from Episode 13 to 15, before become a floating civ between the low 30’s and high 40’s, their unique situation leaving PRs uncertain of their future capabilities and liable to oddly large swings for a civ doing literally nothing. And finally a distinct finale, as for the briefest of moments it appeared like Daji was making a sincere comeback, outdated but showing the same vigour of her 1st-place days, before all the murder and wine! A good old invasion of battered Mongolia, what could g- Oh, Goguryeo’s declared war? Oh, they’re about this? Oh, Goguryeo really is multiple eras ahead of her forces. Oh, Goguryeo has planes. Oh, Shang’s dead. From 39th in E20 to 27th in E25 to dead at 50th in E30, what a distinct final stretch of life. Godspeed, you bloodthirst fox spirit.

NopeCopter:

Burgundy was a civ defined by struggle, a constant need to fight for their survival in one of the most brutal regions on the cylinder. After a brief period of Bavarian dominance in Episode 1, Burgundy’s quick settling and defense against an early Visigothic invasion earned them some early favor in the region. This would be followed by a full-on invasion from Bavaria, which allowed Burgundy to capture the recently gifted city of Asturica (a city that would soon become infamous) and cement themselves as the top dogs of Western Europe by decisively rebuffing the Bavarian assault. These two wars set the tone for Burgundy’s game - constant invasions from all directions by slightly weaker neighbors that Burgundy was always able to fight off… at least for a while. They settled their way to the largest empire in the area, and things seemed to be looking good. And they seemed to be looking even better when, after a brief period of peace, England invaded with a woefully unprepared mainland force that left their precious two mainland cities ripe for the taking. Burgundy was going to the top (or at least the middle of the pack, which for Western Europe might as well be the top).

…But then the war turned into an unexpected meatgrinder, and both the Visigoths and the terrifying Faroes launched invasions of Burgundy (both of which seemed scary at the time). Burgundy struggled to get out of the war with England to focus on these new threats, and by the time the dust settled, England happened to be in control of both of their mainland holdings. It was a rough and frankly kind of embarrassing end to the war, but hey, they could always come back to take the cities off England once they were in a better position. Surely this failure wouldn’t have any major consequences down the line for them. In any case, the Visigoths and Faroes both turned out to be completely incompetent, and Burgundy finally got some much needed peace.

This peace lasted for all of three episodes or so, until suddenly Burgundy was faced with a joint invasion by all three of their major neighbors, clearly hoping to make up for their past failures by using strength in numbers. This boss rush of a coalition was spearheaded by Bavaria, who quickly captured the city of Beaune as the British navy sacked Amiens and the Visigoths tried yet again to retake Asturica. Burgundy held strong for a while (and even managed peace with Bavaria), but England eventually captured Amiens and seemed poised to capture Asturica as well… before an untimely peace deal left the Visigoths on their own. Asturica was saved and Burgundy seemed to have made it out of the war battered but alive. And then Bavaria came back. Granted, this war didn’t go anywhere, but it did drain Burgundy’s reserves even more, which was bad considering the Visigoths were also still at the gates, and England was recovering quite nicely. (Oh, and Rome took their backup Sahara colony of Nevers, which meant that now they HAD to hold in Europe if they wanted to stay in the game.)

Unfortunately for Burgundy, while they did eventually fend off Bavaria once more, they just couldn’t stay at peace with even one of their neighbors for long, and the worst-case scenario occurred: England, armed with both of their uniques, invaded. The war was long and bloody, but England’s better military tech and production-sapping abilities prevailed, and Burgundy lost Autun and Asturica in the war. A brief period of peace was followed by another war where Burgundy seemed to maybe have a chance at an underdog victory as they retook Autun from an overextended and exhausted England, but the war quickly turned against them as it went on, and the capital of Dijon fell. Burgundy was left as a one-city rump for just long enough to maximize the sting before a third and final English invasion finally put Burgundy out of their misery.

How might Burgundy’s run have gone if they had just taken those English footholds early on? Heck, if they’d taken just one of them? Or if they’d been able to keep just one of their borders peaceful? It’s hard to say. Burgundy’s neighbors were all quite militarized, so expansion would have been difficult - they probably wouldn’t have been a top power. But perhaps their impressive grit and determination wouldn’t have been worn down quite so quickly, either. Unfortunately, sometimes competent civilizations just get unlucky and die before their time. I’d say Burgundy is one of those civilizations. May they have better luck some other time. F.

Orange:

I had been a fan of Pueblo from the start, I’m obligated to be given they’re an indigenous civ in the southwest US, just how it is. But they really are a cool civ. The UA has an absolutely kick-ass name, Gods of the Rotten Wood, and it makes their units better at sieging for each religious building in the city they’re attacking. They combined this with a religion that has two religious buildings, which IIRC gives them a +10% or +20% siege bonus, and they spread this religion throughout North America, dominating the continent with Kachina. They further pushed their dominance by settling a ton and putting themselves on top of the statistics early on. They got to 4th in part 2, and stayed in the top 4 through part 18.

Despite the power they had, Pueblo could never make good on what they presented. Their initial war with Osage was, fine, I guess, but nothing ever followed it up. Osage was a sitting duck and Pueblo just, stopped. This stagnation went deep, they failed to do anything while they had the lead and things only began to change when the Yellowknives attacked. While YK only grabbed two hard to defend blocked off cities, this triggered the end for Pueblo. From there, it was just a slow fall. Continued failing to attack Osage while Osage slowly grew, stagnating in the stats letting others overtake them, losing Hawaii to Goguryeo, Yellowknives showing themselves as the strongest power in North America, and even Mexico showing that Pueblo was attackable from not another top power. A stumble, trip, and fall deep down to the bottom.

So here is where they lay, 48th. A brutal shame for a civ with so much potential. But this is what happens when you refuse to grow, when you refuse to take the opportunities given to you. You gotta want it more in this game, and Pueblo just didn’t want anything.

Orange:

Tehuelche’s run of refusing to do anything is finally coming to an end as Bora decided they needed to consolidate the rest of southern South America. And well, nothing Tehuelche can do about that. They lost the chance to avoid this fate long ago. They’ve been running on borrowed time ever since, just now it's being called in.

Cloudy:

Mark my words, the Alaouites are going to die—but we think Tehuelche will die faster. After all, Sierra Leone has a long history of slow-walking wars in North Africa, and the tech difference isn’t as extreme as Tehuelche vs. Bora Bora. Still, they don’t have very long, and I’d be shocked if this space wasn’t occupied by a eulogy this time next week.

Nathanmasse:

Tiwanaku put a tremendous effort into trying to hold back both Ecuador and Bora-Bora; no one can fault them for that.  But the writing was on the wall.  In a last-ditch effort to ensure his continued reign, Heyustus ceded all remaining cities to Bora-Bora and the gamble paid off.  Lands pillaged, citizens decimated, cities occupied, and yet Tiwanaku lives on.  Given the pace of elimination this episode and from what we can expect from the next, Tiwanaku could rise quite a few more ranks before the reaper finally comes calling.

ECH:

The taking of Emerita was, it turns out, only a demo for what was coming ahead as the Iberian secure core Leovigild has enjoyed all game has utterly collapsed, pretty clearly irreparably. Hard to say I’m grieving too hard, the Visigoths spent two thirds of the season flitting around the middest of mid tier ranks doing nothing, and this feels like a deserved rebuke of their lackluster efforts. Now, I personally don’t think Sierra Leone has the juice to eliminate the Visigoths (especially with the Alaouite war on now as well), and certainly they’d be in a worse place if only Thomas wanted to actually keep any of his conquests so far, but I’m leaning towards Visigoths losing all their coastal cities and Sierra annexing one, leaving them a boxed-in city state.

CelestialDalek:

Eswatini has been. Uh. Not having a great time on mainland Africa, losing all of their cities there to Ndongo and also… Saba? That’s an odd snipe but it’s ok because I like Saba. Now, they’re banished to Madagascar and other various islands in the Indian Ocean. The Swazi navy is probably going to trade blows with their enemies for now, but once a better civ comes into the war on them it’s going to be game over.

Cloudy:

It hurts seeing Makhnovia split into four heavily citadelled pieces like this. I want someone to put them out of their misery. Sadly, Bavaria ain’t it.

Orange:

Kalmyk citizens are starting to find out their second city was just sold and they can’t travel between their remaining two cities. And they appear to be absolutely elated about this, 152 happiness. Maybe it was the best choice for their citizens.

CelestialDalek:Siam is not really having a good time. Simply put, they were collapsing under the full weight of Singapore’s army and navy running after them. Their capital fell, Ratchaburi fell, the Nicobar Islands colony fell, Bac Giang was about to fall, Nakhon Si Thammarat was going to fall, their backup capital was about to fall… Things couldn’t get any worse, right? Wrong. While a peace deal with Singapore saved some of their cities, Goguryeo and Wahgi are at war with them, and some highly advanced Wahgi troops are coalescing around Bac Giang. Meanwhile, Goguryeo’s planes have bombed the north of Siam into the black. Can they squeak out a peace deal to save their ass from utter annihilation?

Reformer:

Yet another record high in the power rankings for the Finns! Man, climbing the rankings is real easy I tell ya. All you have to do is not die. It’s just that easy. It just works. Other civs better take note and learn from the Finns…oh those Finns, always on the rise!

Cloudy:

Bukhara continues to exist in limbo after the events of this part. They peaced out with the Khoshuts without gaining anything, not that they were ever likely to, and one of their cities is now being bombarded by Selkup planes, their troops held back only by the intervening borders of the Dzungars and Kazan. Despite the narrator’s insistence, they’re not at war with the Afsharids, though that’s small comfort. If the Selkups receive open borders from one of the aforementioned civs, Bukhara would be destroyed without a second thought. For now though, they carry on.

ECH:

Seneca is saved from invisibility by what looks to me frankly like a pity slide, handily used instead by the narrator to berate their ludicrous mediocrity. And can you blame ‘em? I feel like a teacher handed in an essay that 80% blatantly copy-pastes Wikipedia and is still way under the word count, by a kid that by all accounts has no excuses or reason to be underperforming (reminder, Seneca was our bloody 2nd place E0 pick). You descend past any feeling of outrage and anger into this numb disappointment. So congrats Seneca, I guess. You live another episode… for what that’s worth.

Cloudy:

With Shang now gone forever, Mongolia has nothing left to do but wait for the inevitable.

Leman:

It could be worse. They could be dead.

Reformer:

So Taino went on an adventure this week. A communist adventure. Followed by an IMMEDIATE fascist revolution. What a rollercoaster, and frankly the most hilarious thing Taino has done, or will do. It is also a tragic showcase of how ideologically homogeneous the cylinder is. Has it ever been like this? I don’t know. This feels extreme though. Extremely autocratic. Pretty apt for a battle royale at least.

ECH:

Mogadishu’s most notable action this episode was giving away a city to Zheng, a civ with no practical routes to get there. Civs are gonna civ. Besides that, they’re living their best life as a roadblock for more relevant African competitors, awaiting the day one of them gets their Scheiße together and starts grabbing their badly connected cities.

Orange:

Moreno how the fuck are you this terrible?

NopeCopter:

After a brief stats-fueled jump in the rankings last episode, the Nivkh have been taken right back down this time as a result of a Thule invasion. Of course, the last Thule-Nivkh war was a rather embarrassing affair for the Thule even if they did end up taking a couple of cities, but this time the Thule have planes. The Nivkh, meanwhile, still aren’t able to maneuver half of their navy to the front lines. This probably still isn’t an existential threat to the Nivkh (this is the Thule we’re talking about, after all), but I wouldn’t expect the Nivkh to hold their ground, either.

ECH:

Who’d have picked romantic old Ludwig to be a killer, eh? Bavaria has ensured a small legacy at least with the elimination of the game-long rival Royal Hungary, and is rewarded with a 2 rank jump to what was once the halfway-point of the ranks (a decent way from the current mid-rank of 23rd though). In truth, Royal Hungary’s capital is not the grandest of prizes, although it will make their empire’s logistics a fair bit easier, and their follow-up invasion across the Carpathians into Makhnovia was a wash. I really don’t know where they turn next, but I can tell you they really need to upgrade from muskets and crossbowmen at least…

CelestialDalek:

Finally, an exciting war - nope, wait, nevermind. If Zheng is too much of a chicken to pull the trigger, it looks like Ikko-Ikki’s inevitable collapse is going to be saved until Goguryeo declares war on them. They’re either going out by Zheng’s hand or Goguryeo as pretty much their only two neighbors.

Cloudy:

Amazing play by the Dzungars. They declared war on the Khoshuts, predictably lost an indefensible city, then made peace. Absolutely brilliant strategery. Unmatched wisdom. Incredible.

Orange:

I am eternally angry at Osage failing upwards and getting out of every situation with hardly a scratch while Pueblo died. Look, they’ve gone up another 3 places for doing nothing. Wild. Can’t wait for Yellowknives to properly try and fight them and roll them over.

NopeCopter:

Vijayanagara managed to humiliate the Noongar this episode even if they failed to actually make any gains, which has earned them a sizable 3-place jump in the rankings. Unfortunately, just not dying can only take a civ so far, and Vijayanagara’s next steps aren’t exactly clear. The war on the Qarmatians didn’t exactly go well, Singapore has taken a large bite out of Siam, and even the Khoshuts are also growing in both power and prestige. Maybe the remains of Eswatini could be a worthwhile target? Mogadishu, perhaps? It’s hard to say. It’s tough being a mid-tier at this stage in the game.

Reformer:

The peace in Eastern Sahara shared between Kanem and Rome comes to an abrupt end as Rome betrays Kanem’s trust. The might of Rome’s legions are about to find out just how tough Kanem is. No civ has broken her spirit before, and certainly some upstarts from Europe won’t do it. An opponent must have overwhelming numbers to truly ravage Kanem, and Rome is far from having such numbers. Maybe if this war was being waged in the waters of the Mediterranean, it’d be a different story, but Rome will only dream of such fortune. …Unfortunately, turning the war on Rome doesn’t seem very likely. All things considered, Kanem’s army is somewhat outdated in comparison, and Rome’s city defenses are preeetty high. So it’ll probably just be a stalemate which wastes both sides’ resources. Sadge.

Leman:

There’s a lot of optimism in the discord about England’s war with Faroes, but I’m here to pop that bubble. England is screwed. They’re dead. Unless they peace out with Faores immediately, England is done. It was a good run, but now it’s over. Have you seen the stats differential? Faroes has 62k military manpower (adjusted for gold). England has 12k. Faroes has 1,715 productions, England has 377. Faroes is up 11 technologies, which includes aircraft and (in the next episode) destroyers, while England is still figuring out Frigates. Sell your stocks now.

Cloudy:

Once again, the Khoshuts have pulled a rabbit out of a hat. After reclaiming the city of Lhasa, Gushi Khan peaced out with every single one of his neighbors, including the threatening Afsharids, without giving away any cities. It was the absolute best outcome they could have hoped for. Is Gushi the only leader to learn from the mistakes of his past? We’re starting to think so.

NopeCopter:

Things have gotten much worse for the Noongar than it might seem at first glance - sure, they avoided losing anything to Vijayanagara, but the fact that Vijayanagara was able to best their more advanced navy and threaten Noongar cities in any way is a hell of an indictment of their abilities. If the Noongar couldn’t even beat Vijayanagara, where are they going to go, especially now that their navy’s taken a hit like this? Furthermore, Singapore has soundly beaten Siam and grown stronger than ever, so the opportunity to launch a surprise attack has long since passed. And the Wahgi only grow more advanced with every passing turn…

Nathanmasse:

Saba has finally woken up!  In most of their wars they have been dragged in by one or more of the other Sunni civs and looked for the quickest opportunity to peace out.  But now they’ve finally taken the initiative and invaded Eswatini, and not a moment too soon. After a few flips, Malkerns seems to be firmly under their control and they can turn their attention to Eswatini’s island cities.  I personally don’t expect them to hold out for long.  Once Saba wipes out the initial screen of units the cities should fall in short order…assuming Saba is willing to keep the fight going.

ECH:

Amidst a busy part, there’s really not too much to be said on the matter of Kazan. Two mentions, a brief glimpse in the corner of some shots. The only major mention has in fact come from a glimpse of the techs every civ has, and Kazan’s sudden leap forward on the bottom half of the tech tree up to Rifling. This decent improvement in capabilities, assuming a prudent upgrade programme, gets them back into the Top 20, although probably is not what you’d call a holistic panacea to their woes.

Nathanmasse:

Pontus is a difficult civ to judge.  They were among the first civs to choose an ideology and most of their neighbors still haven’t adopted one.  Their stats and techs are middling—owing mostly to a recent bout of unhappiness—but they seem to have beelined for a strong land army. Their last four techs being Flintlock, Fortification, Rifling, Railroad, and now researching Military Science gives them a qualitative advantage over most of their neighbors. The only issue is that they’ve been very passive over the last few episodes and there’s no real indication of that changing anytime soon. It’s too late in the game for passivity to be of much help. With civs being eliminated left and right, Pontus needs to start taking decisive action or they might soon find themselves on the chopping block.

CelestialDalek:

Rome falls a rank this part by virtue of not really doing anything. About ten slides away from the end of the episode, they declared war on Kanem-Bornu, but it’s unlikely that this will go anywhere right now: despite declaring the war, Trajan forgot to put a military on the border. Luckily, so did Alawma. Expect the fighting to be localized around Agadir, Mansoura, and Damanhur, because realistically neither side is going to make it much further than the frontline cities.

ECH:

So here’s the good news, Rijkou-maja has steered the sciences of her nation towards grabbing Flight, one of 11 civs on the cylinder to first embrace this essential martial tech. And besides from that… nope, that’s about it. The sleepiness of Scandinavia this season really cannot be overstated, whether due to the civ biases at play, the limited geography or potentially a quirk of the religious wars mod creating a sphere of allies that has yet to be broken. I think I speak for us all in saying how much I’d love to see this snooze get disturbed, sooner rather than later.

Leman:

Well, they didn’t wipe the Khoshuts off the map. Afsharids are completely overwhelming stats wise but they’re a little too, I don’t know. Despite this embarrassment Afsharids get a pretty decent rise because, despite failing to kill off a much weaker civilization, Afsharids did increase their stats quite a bit, especially their production, which is up 43.3%. Maybe this will allow Afsharids to build enough units to actually kill Khoshuts next time.

Reformer:

That’s fuckin embarrassing. Well. It’s a win. That’s something, right? They got two cities…but it could’ve been three so easily! But we’ve gotta take the rare Ndongo win. It’s something. It’s something. Two cities. Two cities! It’s just hard to not be disappointed. They finally seemed like they were going to deliver, and then it’s like the pizza arrived half-eaten. Alright. Alright. Onwards and upwards, Nzinga, onto the next victory! You can do it!

Nathanmasse:

Thule slides a rank this week, which is more a function of other civs success than their failing.  With rising fears of the strength of the Yellowknives, Javraganak has set her sights on expanding her own empire through the only real option left to her, Nivkh.  And from the little we’ve seen, this war might be a bit more successful than the last thanks to their complete air superiority.  But in reality, a complete sweep of Nivkh will only box them in further between the Yellowknives and Goguryeo, which is a very real concern.  It would take expert timing and a strong coalition to even consider challenging either of these powerhouses, but it’s still possible so we can’t count Thule out yet.

NopeCopter:

After a rough start to the war, Singapore has managed to get one up on Siam and peace out with a good few cities, most notably the Siamese capital. This is a pretty good yield, only soured by the fact that the rest of Siam is likely to be demolished by Goguryeo and the Wahgi now. If Singapore had kept fighting, they probably could’ve secured plenty more cities. Ah well, at least they got something. The terrifying Wahgi are of course a terrifying force looming over Singapore’s head, but there are still a good few places Singapore can grow into, so it’s not like they’re trapped just yet.

Leman:

All quiet in Latvia this week. Royal Hungary being cleaned up is technically bad for Latvia, because Royal Hungary was an easy expansion opportunity, but in reality, Latvia has more than enough easy conquests. Finns and Makhnovia will probably vanish faster than Tehuelche is and Bavaria, despite cleaning up Royal Hungary, still sucks. Latvia just has to get to it.

Leman:

Palawa lost its last easy expansion route this week as Bora-Bora decimates Tehuelche. Now, if they want to gain cities, Palawa needs to grind through Noongar, something that they’ve continued to fail to do, or somehow beat out Bora-Bora or Wahgi, which seem unlikely. Maybe they could team up with one to take out the other? We’ll see. Until then Palawa at least has excellent stats going for it.

CelestialDalek:

The Visigoths have, finally, been effectively neutered. Thomas Peters has been irrefutably successful in this war, but there’s only one problem: where are his gains? The entire war, he’s been capturing cities, but just burning them down after. Luckily, he can’t do that with the Alaouite capital, which he’s poised to capture. Irregardless and regardless, his stats are still deserving of 10th and Sierra Leone has boundless opportunities to become the top dog in Africa if they so choose.

Leman:

Sadly, round two with Ikko-Ikki turned out to be a dud. Zheng is still a powerhouse but it’s a bit of an awkward one as it’s the only powerhouse that borders the top two powers in the game, Goguryeo and Wahgi. That means Zheng is kind of going to be balancing on a knife’s edge from now until they make enough gains so that their top-tier neighbors can’t wipe them out. Failing to make any gains against Ikko-Ikki is not helping.

CelestialDalek:

Mexico has always been a pretty sleepy giant. However, when the episode was nearly over, they finally did something that could boost their chances: declare war on Ecuador. Now, it looks like Ecuador has a huge army. Closer inspection will reveal that the huge army is in fact New Holland’s and all of Ecuador’s army is actually small and down south. If all the peacekeepers get out of his way, Maximilian and his generals could make a move and maybe take one or two cities, but probably not more than that. If they don’t, we’ll have to wait another day for his success.

Cloudy:

New Holland seems to have a large and modern army, finally. That army is even swarming Ecuador. The only problem is that New Holland isn’t at war with Ecuador, so please Johann, what the fuck? At this rate, Mexico and Bora-Bora will get there first.

Reformer:

Selkups are mostly just resting. The disillusionment from the Dzungar war is probably still in effect and it’s hard to convince people to enter another war so soon. A relevant war anyway. May I direct your attention to the Selkup-Bukharan war. These civs do not border, no. But Selkups, being a great power, are one of the few civs to have planes. (Freshly acquired this episode, by the way!) And this is what they’re using them on, that’s right. To bomb Bukharan cities to dust. With paratroopers still a distant dream, Selkups look to be doing this out of pure malice. Or maybe to farm XP for their planes. Or maybe they’re trying to get open borders through…Dzungars? Yeah, that’s not happening. I’m gonna go with option A, pure malice.

Orange:

HELL YEAH BORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORABORA! FINALLY TAKING OUT TEHUELCHE! It feels like lately Bora is doing everything right, they got so much of Tiwanaku, and now are instantly turning on Tehuelche to secure the southern cone and ensure they control all of southern South America. Top tier stuff. Now they still have things they need to do: Get planes ASAP, crazy that they don’t have them. Wahgi remains as the only real threat to Bora, and they have second generation planes, proper fighters and bombers. They could also do with boosting up their production and science but I assume those will come with consolidating and building up their new cities. But yeah, only thing stopping Bora from being at the very top is the sitting giant next door, for now.

Reformer:

Well it’s finally happening. At long fucking last. Faroes are at war. A war they declared. On a NEIGHBOR. Faroes declared war on England. A rare treat for the few remaining Faroe fans. Now let’s look at the cold, hard facts. Faroes eclipse England in every conceivable way. There is only one way this war can go. Right? Well, there are some problems. First, Faroes are Faroes. They’re not that good at war. Or, more accurately, they typically feel like they don’t really want to be at war. This is being showcased already with the vast majority of the Faroese fleet just fuckin around back home. That’s fine of course. Faroes only need to commit a negligible fraction of their massive military to deal significant damage. But let’s not stop there. Next problem: outdated units. Faroes have a tech advantage over England, naturally, but for whatever reason, this isn’t really apparent on the front. Faroes galleasses are heading into battle despite frigates being an option. On land, Faroes have access to GWIs, but riflemen and even line infantry are doing the fighting. In the air…well, no comment there, the Faroese airforce is just absolutely shredding. Luckily for Faroes, as long as they don’t make peace too quickly, the outdated unit problem should handle itself. It’s an awfully convenient way of getting rid of some of this excess that they’ve ended up with. Definitely a genius move.

So can we expect Faroes to own the british isles by the end of next episode? It’s possible. Likely even. The numbers are simply too lopsided. If they were a better civ, I’d nearly guarantee it. But I can’t promise that Faroes won’t make a premature peace, or end up in a flipfest with a weaker foe, similar to Ndongo or Thule. Worse case scenario they do both, like how Ndongo did.

Nathanmasse:

The Yellowknives are truly merciful.  Not wanting to prolong the suffering of the heart-stricken supporters, they snuff out the Pueblo quickly and decisively.  It was quite the coup and probably puts the Yellowknives at the top of the list of most effective militaries.  It seems unlikely that anyone will be able to challenge their newly-won territory, so they should have plenty of time to repair the pillaged countryside and regrow their cities.  From there they can take their pick of whichever neighbor they like; but they had better not wait too long.

Reformer:

Goguryeo jumps from one conflict to another this week. Firstly, we note the unspectacular annihilation of Shang, once and for all. Finally are the people safe from the Tyrant Daji’s wrath. Some of them might’ve died during the invasion for that luxury, but you know, you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. Many of those people would’ve been dead anyway! Et cetera, et cetera. Goguryeo is stronger than ever, and unlikely to get punished despite the warmonger penalty involved with killing a civ. Goguryeo borders Mongolia, Dzungars barely, Khoshuts barely, Zheng who have barely a land army, Ikko who keep getting whittled down, Nivkh who would look real brave at first and then real stupid after the first ten turns, and Selkups in the north just barely. Selkups is the closest to a genuine rival, and that border is not big enough to make a substantial difference. A coalition of all of the above (or close to it) could make miracles happen, of course, but I’m skeptical. Goguryeo has immense strength right now, and could choose to flatten any of their neighbors next. Speaking of, I left out one civ from that list of neighbors. Do you know who it is? That’s right, after killing Shang, Goguryeo borders Siam. And Siam’s already feeling the PAIN. Goguryeo planes have reduced Northern Siam to rubble, and cavalry units are slowly funneling in. The infrastructure in former Shang is wrecked, so makes sense it’s just the planes and cavalry hitting so far, but give it time, and an entire Goguryeo army will flood the Siamese lands. This domino effect enables civs to truly balloon out of control, and I for one am eager to see how far Goguryeo can push their existing momentum.

…so after all that, you might be wondering, why is Goguryeo down to second place? Well, the answer is fairly simple. Wahgi is simply getting incredibly far ahead. More on that below…

Nathanmasse:

Wahgi has ousted Goguryeo and returned to the #1 spot.  Their tech lead is truly terrifying and there’s no indication it will narrow anytime soon.  This episode they picked up Ballistics, Electronics, Radar—which pushed them into the Atomic Era—Combined Arms, and started work on Rocketry.  That puts them nine techs ahead of the closest competitor, and to put that in context, that’s the difference between Faroes and England or Yellowknives and Osage.

The big take away though, now that they have Radar, is they can build paratroopers which give them an effective way to reach out and quickly capture far-flung cities their incredible air force bombs into the black.  There’s a good chance we will see these in action next week too as Siam gets hit with the combined might of both Wahgi and Goguryeo and it will be a race to see who comes away with the most cities.