Civ Battle Royale June 30, 2021
FortVectortude
311
Ideologies, invasions, and ineptitude? Oh my!
Hello, everyone! My name is FortVectortude and I am honored to finally narrate a part of the Civ Battle Royale! I’ve been a fan and member of the sub since the days of Mk. 2 (Trung Sisters!), but I’ve just been lurking in the background without interacting much. As an avid Civilization fan and a history nerd, this has been a source of much entertainment and joy over the years. Hopefully, this narration is good enough for a rookie to get invited back again. Now let’s get going!
Once again, a big shout out to u/Vihreaa for the beautiful tile-accurate map of the Cylinder! It really was a great help during the narration process.
And a very big thank you to Coiot for building on top of Vihreaa’s map to create an ideology map! It’s very interesting to note that the Western Hemisphere has yet to adopt any ideology. Let’s see if that changes in this episode. But first, a word from Coiot!
Coiot: Hello everyone. A round of applause for our Ko-Fi supporters this week. Even though I just set up our goal to fund our new recording machine necessary to begin next season, we’re already 26% of the way there! Most are coming in from one-time donations (which still get a month’s access to rewards), but if the show is something you enjoy, please do consider our suggested $3 a month pledge to push us into the next season and hopefully several more years to come.
Malacca finally ascends to the number 1 spot after Episode 10. Imagine the Wobbegong Armada of Mk. 2 under the control of someone that could actually wield a navy properly. That’s what you get in Mansur Shah’s Malacca. He must be a disciple of the Cobra Kai dojo because he lives by these three principles: strike first, strike hard, no mercy. Coastlines beware, you’re in for a scare!
We begin with a look at the Chinook interior, as Comcomly is forced to reposition his main army and defend against Tuscaloosa. Lawtiliwadlin did give open borders to the Chinook, forcing the dejected army to drag their cannons through the lands they once called home. Meanwhile, Nemah takes some crossbow and cannon fire, but the Chinook general holds steadfast against the Mississippi, for now. With more cannons coming from the east, Nemah needs those reinforcements to come quickly.
The wholesale loss of Neacoxie will sting Comcomly for some time, as it also squeezes Seepoosha into a very vulnerable pocket ripe for the Dene to attack.
The Gran Colombian conflict heats up, but not exactly the way Paraguay might have hoped.The mountain city of Lambare is surrounded by an incoming sea of El Libertador’s crossbowmen while his knights already begin their incursions. The terrain may help Solano Lopez stall for time and pump out units to hold Northern Paraguay.
P'küee, on the other hand, seems to be faring much better, bearing down on Quito with muskets and cannons. Bolívar entrusts the city’s defense to a contingent of crossbows, as they await reinforcements.
Across the Atlantic, Mobutu Sese Seko bolsters the defenses of the Zaire capital with the completion of the Fasil Ghebbi wonder. Why do you continue to tank, big guy? Why?
Feast your eyes on Southeast Asia, where the renewal of hostilities between Laos and the VOC has taken a slight turn, as Laotian cannonfire supports a lancer’s charge towards the walls of Pontianak. Laos has the firepower to finally make a dent into the Malay peninsula, but if Fa Ngum mucks it up, this could be another meatgrinder on the Cylinder.
The Chola citadels around Uraiyur continue to fend off Laotian advances. And would you look at the Jongs of Mansur Shah? Oh yeah, and he’s also rocking 4 line infantry units in this slide. Sheesh!
Dos Palmares enjoys a golden age over in South America, but Zumbi does not celebrate with Vandals on his shores.
Did you really think the Vandals would forget their war against New Netherlands? Well, it seems like Peter Stuyvesant has. The Dutch Caribbean is sparsely defended enough that the Vandals capture Haverstroo with just their advance fleet. Even the Rio Grande has a better naval presence in this slide. Do better, Pete, or prepare to kiss those tropical beaver pelts goodbye.
Lesotho is also enjoying a golden age in southern Africa. Maybe that ongoing war with Jacob Morenga is going well?
Side note: where could that Gallic settler be going?
I regret to inform you that the vacationing Tongva settler has been picked up from paradise by his friend, allowing William Barak to take Puerto Cabello and light it up. With only a lone galleass and three wandering trebuchets in the vicinity, Gran Colombian’s Polynesian penal colonies are no more.
The smoke rising on the distant horizon does not trouble Tahiti, as Queen Purea’s core thrives with Tai’arapu and Pape’ete at 29 and 31 pop, respectively. Her Majesty should be a little worried though, as the Kulin navy might target her slice of paradise next if she doesn’t build a decent home fleet. Embarked units don’t count, lady.
Saint Stephen feels a chill blow through the palace as he reads the declaration of war from Lawtiliwadlin. “Thank God, I’m not in Siberia.”
As for the action on this slide, mostly same old, same old. Mitrovicë is flipped and will be flipped into oblivion. Such is life. Out west, we see a German cuirassier unit seemingly taking on the walls of Gjakovë by itself. If so, then it’s a bit stupid, but not bad, Wilhelm II. You’ve blunted Ferdinand I’s offensive with minimal effort.
The Rocky Mountains are proving to be an excellent natural defense for Antonio Canales Rosillo, allowing his cannons to rip through advancing Tongva troops. Sure, the knight right outside of Matamoros is a little nerve-wracking, but the single-tile river crossing required to attack the city should hold up against a Tongva attack without siege weapons. Any real encounters between these warring neighbors will have to be made further south.
The Qwatsamts salient of the remaining Chinook lands is devoid of any major troop presence, a worrying site for fans of the Fighting Salmon. The Mississippi appear to have committed their armies toward the capture of Nemah, leaving their southern border undermanned. If the Rio Grande had more substantial forces, they could stretch Tuscaloosa’s capacities with some shady backdoor raids.
Ah yes, the front of futility, the trenches of trivial trials and tribulations, the meatgrinder of millennia, the dreaded dance of death and destruction; welcome back to the Yuan-flict. Brutally bloodied and battered bastards hold the line here at the front. Both sides are tired, having known nothing but the constant orders to advance and retreat to no permanent effect. Mandukhai believes that will change, as the Northern Yuan begin to field their 2nd UU, the Chongzu. This lancer replacement could turn the tide if trained in numbers, as it has no city attack penalty, gains XP faster, and can be sacrificed in a friendly city for production. Can Kublai Khan weather this new oncoming threat?
Our world-traveling Neutral Nation warrior wisely avoids the frontlines of the Yuan duel. The Twin Sicilians did not get the memo, as a lone bowman(?) unit wanders too far away from its cuirassier escort.
Elsewhere, Kolchak begrudgingly makes peace with Saint Stephen after no gain whatsoever. I guess that Perm really must be Great?
Here, we get a better look at the German cuirassier counteroffensive. Those units have formed a veritable wall west of Frankfurt, temporarily stemming the Twin Sicilian attack. Wilhelm II cannot rest easy though, because that interior is emptier than a vegan’s stomach at a barbecue. Stack up quickly, or Vercingetorix may come calling at Berlin’s doorstep.
Iceland may be in a golden age, but Kristján Eldjárn actually receives two new declarations of war this turn. No need to worry about the warring words from Ferdinand I, but Tuscaloosa throwing down the gauntlet means that Icelandic Canada could actually be threatened.
Hermann von Salza looks out over the walls of the Memel city-state. Vladimir Lenin’s Soviet armies march upon the former Teutonic port of Königsberg. Hermann turns his head north, knowing that soon the skies would be filled with billowing smoke as the fighting truly begins between the Soviets and Swedes.
Lenin’s adoption of Clausewitz’s Legacy is about to come in handy, giving his more scientifically advanced troops an even greater advantage to attack the Königsberg citadel city. Karl XII must tech up fast and ferry units across the Baltic Sea to stall the march of the Red Army.
How will Tuscaloosa begin his war against Iceland? By sending his only units in the area towards Staten Eylant. Icelandic defenses are pretty threadbare at the moment, so Eldjárn might want to pull those troops in New Netherlands back north.
In other news, Reykjanesbær has flipped to the Germans and now back to Iceland. A war on two distant fronts separated by ocean will be a real test for Iceland.
Over on the Chinese coast, Anqing continues to flip constantly as Longping is kept in the yellow by the Malaccan fleet. If Mansur Shah hadn’t stalled in Yong’an and Hà Nội, that land army could’ve done some real damage. Now, the Taiping have their Changmao UUs on the way. More bloodshed is coming to South China, especially if that Malaccan line infantry gets moved to the frontline.
Smart play by Eldjárn! He peaces out with Wilhelm II after securing the Icelandic home island. Way to not pull a Somalia, buddy. The damage has already been done though, as Scotland and the North Sea are firmly German. In the northeast, we see Swedish troops being funneled towards Königsberg.
The naval presence on this slide is decent, but those galleasses need to be upgraded soon or they may sink to a watery grave in a fight.
Down here at the Cape of Good Hope, Namibians know that hope is all they have left. Burkinabé naval reinforcements have arrived and continue to harry the Namibian fleet. On land, Jacob Morenga’s capital city has been cut off from Butha-Buthe by Lesothan citadels. Moshoeshoe I is poised to strike again, but those knights are a little far from the frontline. Morenga ain’t dying today.
In other very consequential news, Hawaii makes peace with the Olmecs and Tahiti peaces out with the Yuan. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
We are back with another look at the Yuan-flict. The Bayan Tumen-Kaifeng corridor has been citadelled to hell, but that’s not the real purpose of this slide. Take a look at Mandukhai’s cities. Every one of them has sustained damage, which means Kublai Khan’s UA, Mandate Lost, has come into play. Yuan scholars will research a tech of their enemy during wartime, and their opponents’ cities will take damage each turn once they’ve been surpassed in tech. That time has come for the Northern Yuan. Will it really truly change anything at all?
The Horn of Africa is the site of much movement and activity, as we can see here. The Nigerian snipe-post of Mogadishu is defended by the Cylinder’s first riflemen, while the navy is about to be boxed in. The new African Hejazi core is well carpeted, but Jeddah is left vulnerable on the home peninsula. The Chola holdings here are developing nicely, rocking the most modern navy in this slide. Bargash bin Said’s Zanzibar isn’t doing too shabby either, but Lesothan Madagascar’s border growth could make the sovereignty of the western Indian Ocean even messier.
Peep that sidebar, y’all. Ferdinand I gives up on his invasion of Germany. Maybe next time, use those big boats in the Mediterranean on a close target you can actually reach, pal. No? Ok, fine, he declares war on… the Northern Yuan. I SAID “CLOSE!” The Two Sicilies get Jan Coen and the VOC to join him in the war against Mandukhai.
Simón Bolívar should be shaking in his boots right now, as his South American core is sparsely defended in comparison to the Marajoaran masses headed his way. While P'küee has clear numerical superiority, most of her contingent consists of ranged units. Still, I would expect the walls of at least Quito to fall sooner or later.
Holy sidebar, that’s a spicy notification! On the other side of the Pacific, the Osakan government has convinced the Tokyo government of the merits of third-partying. Tanaka Kakuei announces that Japan is going to war against the Northern Yuan.
A Swedish general and admiral duo command a joint operation to defend Königsberg. They’re shaking though, as the roar of Soviet cannonades could be heard throughout the city. King Karl XII had promised them that reinforcements were on the way, but these veteran commanders knew better. Time was of the essence, and it did not favor the Swedes. The southern citadels were already covered in smoke. With the Red Army at their doorstep, any reprieve would arrive too late. Their subordinates might retake the city, but the watch of the admiral and general would soon be over. As they sent out their final orders, the commanders broke out a bottle of akvavit, a spiced vodka, knowing that the burn of this drink would almost certainly be their last. Skål.
For you Teutonic Order fans, check out the brand-spanking-new ritterbrüder unit, Hermann von Salza’s UU. Useless for a tiny landlocked city-state, but still pretty cool.
The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom is more than ready for a prolonged fight, which is exactly what Malacca is bringing to their doorstep. The smoking husk of Anqing has flipped 5 times so far, and the considerable Taiping mainland army ensures that the port city will continue to change hands for quite some time. Further up the coast, Longping falls into the red from Mansur Shah’s jongs. Malaccan ground forces had better move quickly before Taiping reserves begin streaming in from Gelephu and Wuchang.
Check out that defensive carpet draped over the Himalayas by Bhutan. Sure, Wangchuck are almost exclusively crossbows in this shot, but in rough terrain, range can do a world of hurt.
On the upper left, we see that William Barak had decided to join the growing Communist bloc, adopting the Order ideology. That should help improve his happiness and production, but we’ll have to see if it can help his armies’ combat effectiveness.
Uh, Mandukhai, where did your army go? The Northern Yuan may be in a golden age, but in a single turn, the Yuan-flict looks very different. Northern Yuan troops have left their eastern border worryingly empty, allowing the Japanese to march on Xilinhot relatively unopposed. You Northern Yuan fans had better hope that Mandukhai has only shifted her forces south to defend Avarga and block the Yuan from approaching Karakorum. Otherwise, the Yuan-flict could tip in Kublai Khan’s favor with the assistance of Kakuei’s surprising ambition.
The citizens of the sub celebrate another great golden age! Our noble leaders decide to rest their eyes upon the peaceful waters of northern Spain, basking in the praise from their people.
Our first good look at the new Spanish island capital of Samarobriva is not one that inspires confidence. The Spanish Armada is virtually nonexistent in its home waters of the Bay of Biscay. The Gallic navy, while outdated with its spread of galleasses, could probably blow the lone Spanish ship out of the water. If there was ever a time for Vercingetorix to try an amphibious assault to enter Iberia, there’s no better time like the present.
And check out that chain of Vandal caravans heading east into the European interior. Greed is good, my friends.
Queen P'küee’s North American puppet of Mabila is under amphibious assault by Iceland. While the Marajoaran defenders are few in number, they are technologically superior to their gray-on-gray foes. With 3 attackers already deep in the red, P'küee’s navy should be able to hold the city.
Peter Stuyvesant continues to try and fight, but his battle strategy isn’t doing too hot. Tsouharissen laughs at the half-hearted jab thrown at Niagara. Don’t laugh too hard though, as an additional schutterij UU and a trebuchet could start hitting the city proper. Further north, New Dutch forces ferry themselves up to the icy Vandal outpost of Saldae. I wouldn’t expect too much out of this development just yet.
So that’s where Carlos’s navy is! The Spanish naval base of Córdoba has amassed a defensive fleet while also harassing Hafnarfjörður down to half health. The musician within the city memorializes the Germans’ defensive efforts in song.
We also see the aftermath of the war between Germany and Iceland, as Eldjárn rebuilds in Reykjanesbær. Wilhelm II strengthened his hold on the North Sea, plopping down the new city of Bremen to the north of Hannover and Magdeburg. The German navy looks formidable and could threaten Reykjavík if and when war is redeclared.
The Caribbean is looking a little rosier, as P'küee’s forces capture May Pen from Simón Bolívar. Since the nearest Gran Colombian melee unit is a measly scout, May Pen might be a solid grab for the Marajoarans. P'küee has significant naval superiority over Bolívar, both in tech advancement and in numbers. El Libertador might have those Jamaican “liberations” snatched away from him soon, and for good if he can’t get some melee units out in those waters.
Up north in the Bahamas, Haverstroo is still smoking from its conquest by the Vandals. Peter Stuyvesant has mobilized a rescue team in Wiltwyck, but has sent a galleass and trebuchet ahead of them. Nice idea to have a vanguard, but that trebuchet ain’t nothing but dead weight, Petey.
In sidebar news, Tanaka Kakuei feels like more war is in order and sends a declaration south to Laos for the fun of it.
The Yuan-flict is back and it’s still as wack as ever. My hunch was right and Mandukhai did reposition her troops to better defend her capital of Karakorum. There’s just 2 problems with this plan. One, about a third of visible Northern Yuan forces are weak scouts or outdated composite bowmen. Two, her soldiers are doing NOTHING. Avarga has been captured by the Yuan by walking in with a single unit of musketmen. Meanwhile, Bayan Tumen is in the yellow despite having a numerically superior defensive force around the city, and every one of Mandukhai’s other cities have lost even more health to Kublai Khan’s Mandate Lost UA.
Don’t trip though, as Kublai isn’t exactly playing up to his potential. His interior is looking a little too wide open, while his amassed armies in Kaifeng and Kaiping have not fully committed to the frontlines yet. You have a UA that’s putting in some work, Kublai. At least meet it halfway!
And check out the border gore to the southwest. Apologies to all of the sub’s mapmakers in advance, on behalf of the one little Northern Yuan tile south of Avarga. Oh right, and PARG forces are pushing through Kansk and Xian to try and take on Bhutan, but it is very slow going.
Tuscaloosa captured Staten Eylant from Kristján Eldjárn last turn, but we didn’t get to see what the Mississippi would do to the northern port until now. Staten Eylant being a flaming dump heap seems to be just as true here on the Cylinder as it is in our world. If the Mississippian reinforcements around Etowah can reach the front quickly, then Mosfellsbær and Andachkhrob could be next on the flaming chopping block.
Peter Stuyvesant looks to send troops to accompany his galleasses in attempting to capture the icy Vandal outpost of Saldae. Further south, we get a limited look at Mabila, which has managed to mostly fend off Icelandic assaults. As for the Neutral Nation, the New Dutch march on Niagara was for naught, but those outdated defenders won’t last for long.
Hey look, y’all! Uzbekistan is on a slide! They’re not doing anything, mind you, but they do exist. Those brigades of cuirassiers could do some damage, if only they were at war with someone.
Speaking of war, Wangchuck’s defense of Bhutanese Tibet is going swimmingly. Wangdue has not been touched and the only PARG-accessible approach to the city is through a single-tile choke point. That PARG carpet might as well roll up on someone else, because Kolchak will not be visiting the Himalayas anytime soon.
The Yuan-flict to the northeast has yet to change, as Kublai Khan still holds Avarga. Which of Mandukhai’s troops march forward to reclaim the city? Some suicidal Northern Yuan scouts, that’s who. Avarga is in the yellow, with no support nearby, so the idiots just might pull it off.
We also note the traveling museum exhibits on display for the locals to marvel at: a Neutral Nation warrior and a Kurdish catapult wandering far from home.
Königsberg is red tonight as Vladimir Lenin adds another city to his collection. The Swedish general weeps for his men and for his friend, the admiral, who gave his life so that the land army’s commander might live. Königsberg can and will flip many times, turning the once-prosperous port into a tiny coastal hamlet. That hamlet will most likely be flying the red banner in the end, thanks to Lenin’s love of guns.
Up north, the Finnish carpet is thick and should make any potential invaders wary. The 42-pop capital of Helsinki is the Cylinder’s biggest city, I think.
Haverstroo is reclaimed by the orange and blue and it will stay with Peter Stuyvesant for a good while. The only Vandal melee units are still heading out from Caput Vada and must dodge the cannonfire of the Marajoaran navy. Kievtis Hoek might distract P'küee for a little bit before she continues to roll over the meager resistance of the Gran Colombian fleet. Hell, even the Rio Grande navy looks to be in pretty good shape over in the Gulf of Mexico.
The northern front of the Yuan-flict has its first major action at Xilinhot. The Japanese have taken advantage of the Yuan’s Mandate Lost UA to knock the 12-pop city deep into the yellow. Mandukhai has plenty of reinforcements on the way though, so any city capture will likely be flipped right back. Both of the Yuans let a single melee unit walk right up to a frontline city’s walls, trusting those brave souls to take on the city by themselves. Chukchi cuirassiers watch on from behind Japanese lines, wondering if they might see some action in this part of the world.
Just out of frame, Avarga is reclaimed by Mandukhai. Those scout bastards actually did it (I mean, maybe it was them)!
As our golden age upon the sub ends, our cameras turn to the Vandal-controlled waters of Bermuda. Caput Vada is a 23-pop tropical paradise and a naval base that won’t be threatened by P'küee that easily. Towards the southwest, Haverstroo is in the black and will likely flip back and forth a few more times between the Vandals and the New Dutch.
To the north, Peter Stuyvesant engages Genseric on the high seas in an attempt to intercept the Vandal naval detachment headed somewhere… else? Let’s hope it isn’t the eastern seaboard of North America, because the Beaver Coast doesn’t have a lot of defenders on screen.
The main recreational activity aboard the ships cruising the Arabian Sea seems to be taking potshots at the remnants of the Hejazi navy. Lesothan and Punjabi sailors take turns trying to sink the poor bastards in tan and brown. For the Chola, it is a tale of two coasts as the waters of Pazhaiyarai are well defended, while the full fleet defending Thiruvarur, Yanbu, and Al Jamum is half of the home fleet’s size.
On land, we witness the appearances of some regional UUs. The Hejaz have recruited two foreign operatives, GG replacements, to help lead their meager defenses. In every Punjabi city that can be seen, Ranjit Singh has trained akalis, riflemen replacements with a short ranged attack. He must have bought them cheap using an abundance of faith, based on the array of missionaries and Great Prophets south of Nagapattinam.
We recognize the presence of several visiting navies. A single Ptolemaic galleass watches their Hejazi counterparts get taken down into the yellow. The Malaccans continue to remind everyone here that Mansur Shah rules the seas. And would you look at that? The Twin Sicilian navy has overflowed into the Arabian Gulf.
In the Pacific, Queen Lili’s Hawaiians celebrate a golden age. Must be really nice in paradise right now.
The Malaccan puppet island of Hankou might be the last Malaccan conquest of Taiping territory outside of the mainland. The Chukchi’s border growth is so overpowering that they’ve inadvertently become expert peacekeepers, wrapping up the entire island of Pukou and reducing Songjiang to a single-tile city. Hong Xiuquan loses precious troops that were needed on the mainland due to UA border gore.
Japan looks solidly defended here. Tanaka Kakuei must be taking no chances with stronger neighbors on almost every side. Meanwhile, two Tongva triremes continue to explore the Far East, unaware of the war back home.
The fires of Königsberg burn blue as the Swedish navy sails back into the port. The general has taken to the water as the ground troops quickly lose ground to the Soviets. Word of the Red Army’s might has spread quickly throughout northern and eastern Europe. The great Russian steamroller has more than enough troops to enter and win a war of attrition with the Swedish Baltic fleet. Lenin should take a look at his maps and start choosing his next, hopefully more accessible, target. Finland, despite fielding an outdated army, should be placed towards the bottom of that target list based solely on geography. I know a bottleneck when I see one.
West Africa is quiet right now. Too quiet. Looking at Thomas Sankara’s core, Burkina Faso is trying to develop its lands and increase tile productivity. Tons of fortifications have been built along the line between Koudougou, Dédougou, and Bobo Dioulasso, guarding the approach to the desert. Sankara cannot tech up fast enough, because Awolowo’s Nigeria big brain power has the Nigerian army fielding some of the first riflemen, cavalry, and Gatling guns on the cylinder. Burkina Faso fans are right to worry, as the capital Ouagadougou is overexposed and under-defended with Awolowo’s newest units right across the border.
Up left, we see just how hated Simón Bolívar really is. The man just doesn’t know how to play nice with others.
Case in point, Bolívar’s petty ass retakes his Jamaican conquest of May Pen, fending off P'küee’s navy. The Gran Colombian navy is looking a little thin, with only 2 naval melee units left to accompany a fleet of galleasses. On land, the situation is even more dire for El Libertador. His northern army is small in number and dispersed, so the Marajoaran army should advance quickly, if only they could get out of the Amazon. But wait! Down there, to the south! It may be in the red, but I think that Gran Colombia has started upgrading to their UU, the llanero. It’s a lancer replacement that gets +10% combat strength on open terrain, so hopefully Bolívar deploys more of them in the upcoming defensive campaign.
Up here on the eastern North American coast, the New Netherlanders are on the backheel. The Vandals have almost completely routed Peter Stuyvesant’s navy and have blockaded Nieuw Amsterdam. With ground troops en route, Genseric might be able to add another capital to his impressive trans-Atlantic empire. Out of sight in the Caribbean, Stuyvesant recaptures Haverstroo.
Mabila is secure from attack right now, as is the impenetrable Niagara. Those Neutral Nation composite bowmen must be juicing or something. That or Stuyvesant sucks at fighting wars good. Gotta brush up on his reading.
Moshoeshoe I has settled his own Antarctic ice colony of Marakabei, just south of the VOC trading outposts of Soerabaja and Banda.
The only other thing of note in this slide? The presence of the Twin Sicilian navy this far south. Could Ferdinand I be building a navy to challenge Mansur Shah? Or could this just be a nice relaxing vacation cruise for his men? Who knows?
Xilinhot was taken down to the red by Kakuei’s army, but the city still stands after Mandukhai’s counteroffensive pushes back the Japanese. With a wall of muskets and a huihui pao UU siege unit on the way, the Japanese may have lost their chance to impact the Yuan-flict. To the south, Kaifeng takes damage as Mandukhai sends some chongzu UUs to damage the city walls. On the homefront for the Northern Yuan however, cities continue to take damage as the citizens wallow in misery as their education system fails them in comparison to the Yuan. Must be report card season.
After all this time, Nemah remains in Chinook hands. Comcomly continues to stubbornly resist and builds up as best as he can. To the north, we get a glimpse of the Seepoosha exclave’s defensive forces, while the Chinook core carpet is still a work in progress. If the Tongva were in a position of strength, this would be a good time to take advantage. Sadly, that will not be happening.
The Mississippi army west of the Mississippi is in pretty good shape. However, the Dene army to the northeast of Like-a-Fishhook is packing a lot of heat. Are they potentially gunning for Murphy Mound and beyond?
In Asia, Raja Raja I and Fa Ngum peace out of a long and unfruitful stalemate.
Staten Eylant is Icelandic once more! A brave knight rides to its assured death as it halts the city’s razing at the hands of Tuscaloosa. Icelandic Canada will not stand for much longer once the Mississippi’s cannons are set up at the front. Staten Eylant will definitely be back in Tuscaloosa’s hands soon, so Kristján Eldjárn had better sue for peace if he doesn’t want to be relegated to the icy North Atlantic.
We also get to see Stuyvesant’s “assault” on Saldae, which he has fantastically bungled. Those galleasses would be more useful in breaking the naval blockade of his capital.
Carlos III holds steadfast to Córdoba and actually captures Hafnarfjörður, although the German force sailing out of Düsseldorf will be looking to kick the Spaniards out of the British Isles permanently.
Oh my, the Lesothans mean business here in Arabia! Moshoeshoe’s navy has cleared out nearly all of the Hejazi navy and has begun the attack on Ta’if. Utilizing open borders with the Chola to their advantage, the Lesothans stream in ground troops to support, even landing a cannon at Al Jumum which renders it safe from counterattack! Ranjit Singh could send a Punjabi unit to snipe, but the Lesothans are doing major work on logistics. We’ll see if they can put it together.
Closer to home in Thaba Bosiu, Moshoeshoe has built the Crystal Palace! It’s a good culture-generating wonder, but more importantly, provides bonus Great Person generation for each Great Work in the city. Who might Moshoeshoe recruit?
The turn of the century is upon us! Welcome to the 20th century! What new glories and stories shall it bring? According to this slide, more of the same.
The Yuan-flict continues to be an absolute slog for the ground troops. For the top command, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. The Yuan’s cities are relatively secure, thanks to the blanket of crossbowmen who pepper any Northern Yuan troops daring to cross the open steppes toward the hilly Yuan core. Mandukhai’s troops have also secured her core, but her cities have been brought into the yellow from Kublai Khan’s Mandate Lost UA. Those school report cards just keep coming and the grades of Northern Yuan scholars keep dropping. Hey Kublai, could you rush some musketmen up to the front with their superior GPAs, please? I’d love to see some real action here.
To the southwest, we can peep the PARG stream of troops funneling into the mountains of Bhutan, never to be seen again.
Moved by the Icelandic knight’s heroic sacrifice, Tuscaloosa decides against setting Staten Eylant ablaze upon recapture. No guarantees for the other Icelandic holdings in Canada.
Eldjárn will not be waiting around for that to happen, as it appears he is pulling the bulk of his ground troops out of North America. Vinland was nice, but the neighbors definitely weren’t. Maybe he fears another attack from a European power?
Mansur Shah may rule the seas, but on land, it would appear as though Hong Xiuquan and the Taiping can hold their own. Longping has been kept in the red this whole time, but like Lavar Ball, its garrison is undefeated and has never lost the city. The same cannot be said of Anqing, which has flipped for the 15th time since this episode started. The only other city to even come close to that number? The Kosovar-held Mitrovicë with 10 flips.
The Yong’an and Hà Nội garrisons have been deployed on the line, and their numbers and tech advantage should push the Taiping back for now. The reinforcements in Gelephu and Wuchang need to make a beeline south to prevent a disastrous break.
Off-screen, the Spanish make peace with Kosovo and Zaire. Haverstroo and Königsberg changed hands multiple times in the last few turns, ending up with Genseric and Lenin respectively.
He did it. He fucking did something in combat. A Japanese musketmen flanks the entire Northern Yuan counterattack and captures Xilinhot. The city will definitely be flipped back, but for now, Kakuei can laugh in the enraged face of Mandukhai. Don’t laugh too hard though, because the lands behind the frontline are worryingly empty.
The Caribbean situation is worsening for Simón Bolívar and there’s nothing he can really do about it. May Pen was lost 2 turns ago and cannot be reclaimed with any nearby personnel. Santiago de Cali endures its first bombardment by the Marajoarans as Queen P'küee patiently picks apart her prey. Her army has not been active, so perhaps they are waiting for the signal from the sea. The lone Colombian llanero desperately holds on to their ground and their life.
The Dene have sent a detachment to Niagara to knock the lights out of the Neutral Nation. Tsouharissen has turned his rump city-state into an impressive turtle. Can he withstand an attack from the west while keeping an eye on the encroaching blue and orange boys to the south?I think he’s got a decent shot.
And what’s this? A new war, you say? Tin Hinan’s Tuaregs receive not one, not two, not three or four, but FIVE (5!) declarations of war from Zaire, Nigeria, Burkina Faso, Kosovo, and Bhutan. Considering that 3 of the 4 sub-Saharan civs are collaborating in this war, there’s almost no way Tin Hinan survives this one, right? Surely three civs can overcome a city-state’s funnel-like mountain pass defense?
The Chola may control the Horn of Africa, but it's Lesothan troops who are fighting outside of Tayma. Ta’if may be taking more damage in Arabia, but the new Hejazi core in Africa is safely carpeted. Hussein bin Ali does not plan to go down without a fight.
So that’s where the Gran Colombian forces have been all this time! Either Bolívar really hates Solano Lopez, or more likely, he can’t move his units through the Andes Mountains with Lambaré and San Lorenzo blocking traffic. Instead, he’s throwing troops at the Paraguayan defenses while slowly trudging around those pesky mountains. That’s still no excuse for his naval antics. His sea captains do not seem to know that their Caribbean counterparts have been smashed to bits. Use that canal or lose it!
Vandal supporters, your stocks should be rising shortly. Genseric makes another big money move by taking Nieuw Amsterdam with an unopposed navy. On the side, the Vandals have also taken Terwe Dorp down into the yellow. Peter Stuyvesant finally takes the hint and has units nearby to hold that city and retake the capital. If the Vandal force in Bermuda lands on North American shores, the Beaver Bois could stand to lose even more.
Over in Africa, Tin Hinan brokers a peace deal with Ferdinand I. Peace is peace, but the Two Sicilies were never really a threat.
The eastern reaches of the Provisional All-Russian Government is decently defended. Kolchak has been quiet for some time now, save for the slow march to Wangchuck’s doorstep. If he were a bit more ambitious, Kolchak might try his hand at imitating the Japanese and flanking the Northern Yuan as well. Ikh Khüree and Shangdu are certainly within reach.
Glory is short-lived for Tanaka Kakuei, as Mandukhai marches back into Xilinhot. That Japanese frontline is pretty much all that stands between holding their ground and losing their continental holdings. My bet would be on the latter.
Santiago de Cali has fallen and it will not be able to get up. The only Gran Colombian melee unit in the Caribbean is an outmatched pikeman floating around Portmore. And if you thought the action was only in the water, look down towards the southeast. It may just be some crossbow fire, but Spanish Town takes damage for the first time under Gran Colombian rule. If P'küee moves up some reinforcements, Spanish Town could soon be speaking a whole new language.
Oh look! Haverstroo is a part of the New Netherlands once more. The residents of the island city switch their flags for the umpteenth time.
The northern regions of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom are a quiet backcountry, with surprisingly little military presence. Instead, this interior plays host to a Northern Yuan-dominated ScoutCon, featuring a Bhutanese guest and a Neutral Nation warrior vacationing nearby.
Up north, the Yuan-flict fizzles and sizzles with no real breakthrough on either side. Way down south, Chengtang flips around a couple times, only to land right back into Malaccan hands.
In UI news, the Chukchi see the chaos in the world and adopt the Order ideology. And the war declarations? The Chola, the Mapuche, and the Two Sicilies gang up on Tahiti. It won’t come to anything unless there’s a multinational armada in the Pacific. On the peaceful end, Lesotho ceases hostilities with the Hejaz, having gained nothing.
The Yuan-flict is over, for now. Not a single city changed hands in the peace deal, so I’m guessing both Kublai Khan and Mandukhai were just tired of throwing more troops into the meat grinder. That peace leaves Japan hanging on for dear life as the Northern Yuan are free to focus on sweeping through to Osaka. If I were Kakuei, I’d be suing for peace ASAP.
The capital notifications are just about Nieuw Amsterdam flipping back and forth, ending up with the Vandals in this turn. As for the war declarations, Kurdistan and Lesotho issue a joint declaration of war against the Kingdom of Jerusalem. The hour of judgement is nigh for Baldwin III.
But wait, there’s more! The Pineapple War reignites as Hawaii joins the dogpile against Tahiti. Kolchak throws in a PARG war declaration on Queen Purea to avoid missing out on the worldwide party. Based on just the eye test, Queen Lili'uokalani has a really good shot of reuniting the Hawaiian island chain, but we all remember how it’s gone before. The big island of Hawaii has withstood many previous attacks, so Fa'a'a might still be able to hold.
Before we go, check out the Tongva navy on the eastside of your screen. Sure, you may have a naval bias, Toypurina, but your problems are land-based! Get on that!
Córdoba continues to be the flashpoint between the Spaniards and Germans, but Wilhelm II’s advantage grows as the Spanish forces dwindle in number. In the deep Atlantic waters, the Marajoaran navy stretches into European waters. I’m sure these are just for defensive purposes.
The UI is on fire these past few slides! Ferdinand I gives up on his quest to rid the world of Baldwin III. Vercingetorix decides to march on Ibrahim Rugova’s Kosovo. In retaliation, Toypurina and Awolowo declare war on Vercingetorix. And I don’t know how the UI decided not to highlight this, but a grand coalition of Zaire, the Tongva, Nigeria, Burkina Faso, Laos, Bhutan, and the Northern Yuan declares war on Raja Raja I’s Chola. Just to bring it all together, Raja Raja declares war on Ibrahim Rugova. For those of you counting, that’s 13 declarations of war in a single turn. We’ll see if anything comes to fruition.
Well well well, it looks like the Beaver Bois do know how to put up a fight. Nieuw Amsterdam is back in New Dutch hands, but the Vandals are still lurking offshore, ready to contest and flip at a moment’s notice. Terwe Dorp is still in the yellow, but a significant garrison presence here will make it much harder to capture than the capital city.
Elsewhere, Saint Stephen achieves peace with the Laotians and the Germans.
Way up here in the icy northern reaches of Scandinavia, the Finnish exclave of Tampere fends off a German naval blockade. The Swedish fleet acts as peacekeepers, preventing German reinforcements from streaming in.
Mansur Shah decides that Malacca shall become an autocracy. To celebrate the occasion, he generously makes peace with Bhutan.
After a frenzied year 1903 full of wars beginning, what shall 1904 and beyond bring? This slide delivers the answer. The end of Gran Colombia. Not for a while, mind you, but the Marajoarans have brought Kingston down to yellow and blasted Montego Bay into the red. P'küee’s ground troops have finally begun attacking Spanish Town and Quito in earnest. With Marajoaran numerical superiority, the presence of Colombian llaneros will not matter. The Jamaican scout near Aqualtene cracks a wry smile at Simón Bolívar’s reckoning.
Tsouharissen joins the war against Tahiti. Real meaningful stuff.
The Taiping continue to do surprisingly okay against the newly-autocratic Malaccans. Anqing flips back to Hong Xiuquan, as does the island city of Chengtang. Mansur Shah is rocking technologically superior units though, so these regained lands are, by no means, secure.
Yes, this slide is different from our last look at this conflict. And no, no progress was really made by any side. Pontianak, after all this time, remains in the green despite Fa Ngum’s best efforts. The Laotians are doing what they can to grow and develop here in Southeast Asia, but they are getting citadeled from the east by Malacca and from the west by the Chola.
Pythagoras takes a break from his research on right triangles to compile a list of the Cylinder’s most literate people. As expected, the Nigerians are better scholars than anyone else, but it is a surprisingly tight race here at the top. The Kulin Nation and Uzbekistan crack the top 8 for some impressive research results.
The Tahitian home islands are thriving paradisiacal cities, but their defenses are rather interesting. Instead of building an actual navy, Purea has decided that a flotilla of embarked units will be the best bulwark against invasion.
We’ve got two new-ish settlements by the Mapuche way out here with Ongoova’anga and Topa’anga. They’re almost fully surrounded already by neighboring borders, so I would expect these win exclaves to be Mapuche for long.
Over in Europe, Wilhelm II completed construction of the Louvre in Marienburg. It’s good for culture and art, but you can’t win with those, Willy.
The long-ignored war between the Rio Grande and the Tongva has been left off screen for a reason. Nothing has happened. Geography has been the best combatant for the Tongva here, with the Rockies and Baja California forming a very difficult natural defense to overcome. Antonio Canales Rosillo remains undaunted, sending waves of troops to chip at Yaanga and inch towards Puvunga. This may take a while, but Rosillo does have the edge in tech. The Rio Grande forces could seriously threaten the Tongva, but they need to try a different approach. Maybe try jabbing across the Mojave Desert east of Puvunga?
Down in South America, the Marajoarans celebrate a golden age.
That golden age makes perfect sense now. Montego Bay now belongs to Queen P'küee! Gran Colombian melee units are within distance of the city, but they are also desperately needed elsewhere. Lambaré continues to be a persistent thorn in Bolívar’s side, forcing Colombian troops to wrap around the Andes to reach the interior battlefields. The Marajoaran army should feast and Paraguay might even be able to get some licks in.
The Chola could soon control access to the Gulf of Aden and the Red Sea if those borders grow and close like I expect them to. The Lesothans’ retreat has left a lot of open waters for local naval powers to fill. If the Chola don’t build ships soon, the naval power that steps into the void might just be the Twin Sicilian fleet spilling out of the Arabian Gulf.
This might be the first time we’ve ever seen the opperhoofd, the VOC’s special Great Merchant replacement. It won’t be much help though, because Pontianak has been taken into the red for the first time ever by the Laotian army. With Fa Ngum fielding line infantry and skirmishers in his cities, Jan Coen will likely be kicked out of modern-day Thailand.
Iceland isn’t doing much, and that’s not good at all. It’s even worse when Andachkhrob is well into the red. There is an Icelandic knight outside of Staten Eylant, but Eldjárn needs to get more units back into Canada fast. The units he does have at his disposal are increasingly obsolete though, so this will be an uphill battle. Now whose capital has fallen?
I shouldn’t have even bothered asking, because of course it’s Nieuw Amsterdam falling to the Vandals yet again. Curiously, Barnde Gat took a little bit of damage. You may refuse to believe what you see, but it really does appear to be the result of a Neutral Nation attack. Yeah, I can’t believe it either. Speaking of the Neutrals, their defense against the Dene army has gone spectacularly well.
The Mapuche are the first to make a move on Tahiti, mobilizing the fleet at Kurü Ko to attack Pora Pora. Lautaro has more actual ships than Purea and his fleet is more advanced, so the Tahitian core could be in real danger. The Mapuche have been quiet though, so let’s see if their combat skills are sharp or rusty.
Montego Bay remains reddish-pink, while P'küee adds Kingston to her collection of former Gran Colombian conquests. Spanish Town is in the yellow and is suffering the wrath of the Marajoaran navy as well. Portmore and Magangue will likely be next.
An old detachment of the Tahitian navy long since trapped inside the borders of the Kulin now takes damage from a single wandering Chola kadatpadai, their caravel replacement UU. These poor sailors are afloat and at the mercy of William Barak.
Queen P'küee’s navy has gotten very ambitious, indeed. The North Atlantic Marajoaran fleet has changed their mission from merely defending Mabila to taking the fight into the Icelandic core. Seltjarnarnes is being chipped at by an embarked cuirassier, while the Icelandic capital of Reykjavík readies itself for an oncoming naval bombardment. Kristján Eldjárn’s tech disadvantage will soon be on full display on the home front, like it has been exposed in Canada.
In peace deal news, Quilombo dos Palmares and Nigeria end their trans-Atlantic hostilities. The Chinook and the Mississippi also agree to a ceasefire, with no territory changing hands. Finally, the Ptolemies give up on their invasion of Europe via Kosovo, leaving the hotly contested city of Mitrovicë in Ibrahim Rugova’s control.
Pontianak has fallen, I repeat, Pontianak has fallen! Fa Ngum makes his long-awaited conquest of Jan Coen’s northernmost city. It’s just too bad that it will most definitely be flipping back to the orange-and-white. Might this city be another perpetual flipper?
To the west, the Chola are sitting pretty in the Bay of Bengal, showing considerable strength in the area.
Not only is Nieuw Amsterdam in Vandal hands, but so too is Terwe Dorp! There’s one New Dutch knight between the two cities, so there’s a chance to flip for Stuyvesant. Further north, the Neutrals’ defense has started to show some cracks, with a pikeman in the red.
Königsberg is a hellscape, no doubt about it. The Soviet Union has brought the full force of Lenin’s modern technology to bear down on the Swedes. With Europe’s first riflemen on the battlefield, you would think the scales would tip towards the Reds. However, the Baltic Sea shelters Sweden from a full-on invasion and allows them to utilize their technologically inferior units to their fullest capabilities. Flipping forever, forever flipping is Königsberg.
If my eyesight hasn’t failed me, I believe the two idiot caravels duking it out in the Gulf of Mexico belong to Vercingetorix and Awolowo. They’re fighting in the home waters of the Rio Grande, whose corre looks okay. Decent army to the west and a considerable navy to the south, but the eastern territories have an army of workers toiling the soil. Not to worry though, because it looks like the neighbors have left these borderlands empty too.
Bhutan makes peace with the Tuareg. Incredibly important stuff. Nigeria also pulls out of the war on the Tuareg.
A return to East Africa finds the Nigerian snipe-post of Mogadishu under attack from the Chola. The Chola have naval superiority in the Indian Ocean, but that musketman is going up against 3 highly advanced units and a walking-museum-exhibit pikeman.
The other bit of action on this slide sees a Zanzibari pikeman escorting a settler getting peppered by Hejazi crossbows. Zanzibar looks behind the times, in comparison to their neighbors. Sooner or later, that outdated carpet is gonna get crushed.
Andachkhrob is now in Tuscaloosa’s hands. Icelandic swordsmen and pikemen are approaching from Kinderhoek. Staten Eylant is under amphibious assault, but I’d expect the Mississippi to keep it in the long run.
And for those of you who still care, Niagara remains untouched.
The German navy just can’t do anything more than chip at Tampere. The Swedes have done an incredible job at keeping the peace up here. As a result, the main German fleet has relocated elsewhere.
After many long years of nothing, Peter Stuyvesant calls it quits against Tsouharissen.
The real big news here is the Icelandic reclamation of Andachkhrob. Staten Eylant, meanwhile, drops into the black. It looks like Kristján Eldjárn has changed his mind about Canada.
Anqing has flipped a great many times already, but we see the Taiping in possession at this point in time. Chengtang has been reconquered by the Malaccans, but the Taiping coast guard should be able to flip it again. Towards the southwest, we see Malaccan and Taiping forces clashing just outside of Hangzhou, if I’m not mistaken. It looks like Mansur Shah has decided to up the pressure and really test the military mind of Hong Xiuquan.
Laos and the Chukchi reach a peace agreement, while Lesotho declares war on Bhutan. Just how are you going to get to the Himalayas, Moshoeshoe?
Pora Pora may still be in the green, but this Tahitian island is almost fully surrounded by Mapuche naval units. With an army on the way too, Lautaro means business, so Purea needs to get her act together quickly.
In South America, Bolívar continues to try and take Lambaré. Just give up here and concentrate on not getting rolled over by P'küee, could you please?
Spanish Town and Portmore have fallen to Queen P'küee. The noose is tightening around Simón Bolívar’s Gran Colombia. Quito has been citadeled into a salient that sticks out like a sore thumb. Reinforcements have finally started streaming in from the Santo Tomás area, but they’re too late to really change the game.
The Spaniards are kicked out of Scotland! Wilhelm II has retaken Hafnarfjörður and finally conquered Córdoba. Carlos III still has some forces that could retake Córdoba, but the Germans will definitely outlast them. Time to give up and head home, Carlos.
The Chukchi make peace with Great Perm and then declare war on Bhutan. Peace seems to be a big trend on the Cylinder, as Vercingetorix peaces out with the Tongva and Nigeria. Raja Raja I also signs peace agreements left and right with the Tongva, Zaire, Nigeria, Burkina Faso, and the Northern Yuan.
Kurdish troops are picking at the defensive ring around Acre, while Georgian muskets charge against the walls of Aleppo. King Baldwin III has gone to church, leaving the remaining commanders of his armies to do as they wish, for only God can save the Kingdom of Jerusalem now. Considering how ancient the Jerusalemite army is, they will definitely be meeting their maker soon.
Tanaka Kakuei is shitting himself right now. Khovd is now behind the Northern Yuan lines and will most likely fall in the next few turns. Mandukhai’s army has already reached the gates of Kashiwazaki and will soon be knocking on the walls of Nagoya. The bulk of the remaining Japanese army has pulled back to Osaka, just south of Kashiwazaki. The Osaka government has bitten off more than they could chew, and now, they will pay the price for such folly. The Chukchi cuirassiers across the border just stand there, watching as they always have.
The Cape of Good Hope is a cruel and unfit name for the home of Jacob Morenga and the remaining lands of Namibia. Technically, Namibia is still at war with Burkina Faso, but the Burkinabé navy has left Morenga’s people alone for a while now. Bethanie is a prosperous city, despite it being so terribly cramped. Morenga knows that he continues to survive by the whims of Mobutu and Moshoeshoe. The Butha-Buthe enclave will be the first to fall in a war and Bethanie would follow soon after. Until then, Morenga sits back in his chair and looks out at the beach. At least the water is nice.
Cleopatra declares war on poor Wangchuck, joining the global hate train. In peaceful news, Germany makes up with Marajoara. In wonderful news, Awolowo announces the completion of the Pena National Palace in Kano. Defensive buildings are now 20% more effective for Nigeria. The turtle’s shell is even thicker now.
The Marajoaran army descends on Quito, taking it down into the yellow. Out on the coast, Simón Bolívar is contesting P'küee’s hold on Montego Bay. And don’t look now, but just out of sight towards the northwest, the Marajoaran navy has entered the waters of Magangue.
Random observation notes the first skirmisher of South American origin up in Santiago de Cali. And can anyone identify whose tile is north of Caracas? That is some unsightly border gore.
Lautaro’s Pacific fleet has taken Pora Pora with little resistance! The Tahitian home fleet is very weak and won’t be able to withstand the Mapuche incursion. I’d start packing my bags if I were Queen Purea.
Instead of packing, Purea joins the Bhutanese dogpile of war declarations. Wishful thinking. Kolchak has grown tired of Wangchuck’s Himalayan gauntlet and makes peace. In Lahore, Ranjit Singh celebrates the completion of the Brandenburg Gate, earning a free Great General and +15XP for units trained here.
Königsberg has been conquered by the Red Army once more, but this time feels different.Yep, that’s right, Wilhelm II has swooped in to play peacekeeper. A German frigate anchors itself right in the Gulf of Riga, blocking naval access to the city. Maybe it was on purpose, or maybe that updated naval carpet just needed some more room. Regardless, the Swedes are frustrated while the Soviets celebrate their incredible luck.
The Chola ice base of Vengi has grown and trapped an unfortunate trebuchet unit that wandered too far south. The Malaccan navy also patrols these southern reaches, where we also get a glimpse of Kulin-controlled Australia. William Barak has apparently started fielding skirmishers.
Mansur Shah declares war on Baldwin III, perhaps believing that his navy could actually reach the coast of Acre. His admirals are far too scared to correct him.
Queen Lili'uokalani half-heartedly jabs at Fa’a’a. The Big Island is vulnerable but the Hawaiians just haven’t committed enough to do the job. Maybe consider borrowing notes from the Mapuche.
Peter Stuyvesant now resides in his new capital of Swaanendael down here on the island of Cuba. What little remains of the New Dutch fleet is down here with him, but there are very few ground troops around for the Beaver Bois. Because of that, Haverstroo looks solidly Vandal-controlled and Beversrede is being bombarded. The only other notable thing on this slide is that Rio Grande navy. Not bad, Rosillo, but you need to tech up to hold your own against Genseric and P'küee.
In international relations, Georgia peaces out with Jerusalem without anything to show for it. Hussein bin Ali commits the Hejaz to war against Laos, logistics be damned.
Did anybody notice that Cleopatra adopted Autocracy? I almost didn’t.
Anyway, Malaccan Army Group West is pillaging their way to Hangzhou. Hong Xiuquan tries to sneak some reinforcements through the Himalayas, but only the cuirassier gets through. The Taiping reserves are looking thin, so a Malaccan advance towards Jintian could open up the road to Tianjing. Over in the east, Anqing is Malaccan, yet again.
Down south, Laos has multiple line infantry units and skirmishers, which makes it more surprising that Jan Coen has continued to flip Pontianak back to the VOC.
Pape’ete is under attack from the Mapuche and there is practically nothing that the Tahitian defenders can do about it. Purea’s melee units are way out of position to be of any help and those galleasses are not enough to sink Lautaro’s navy. The Mapuche are determined to stake their claim in the South Pacific.
Bhutan is on the offensive! I repeat, Bhutan is on the offensive! Jigme Singye Wangchuck has committed the majority of his capital defense force towards retaking his former city of Sarpang. A criss-crossing carpet of crossbows provides fire support for the three Bhutanese cannons and two melee units arrayed around the city gates.
To the east, the Battle of Uraiyur has reignited with Laos and Chola wielding new weapons, but no land changing hands. We’re definitely headed for another stalemate unless some bold moves are made.
On the other side of the world, an old grudge is temporarily buried as Simón Bolívar and Solano Lopez make peace. Antonio Canales Rosillo also withdraws from the Gran Colombian culling.
Genseric knows what he wants: total control of the eastern seaboard of North America. Rensselaerwyck is the latest Vandal naval conquest, as ground troops secure Terwe Dorp and the citizens of Nieuw Amsterdam continue to dodge cannonfire and crossbow bolts daily.
In Europe, Ferdinand I makes peace with Iceland’s Eldjárn after realizing that Iceland is nowhere near the Mediterranean. Mannerheim also makes peace with Eldjárn, perhaps worrying that a greater threat to Finland may exist closer to home.
William Barak settles an ice base of his own down in Ngaragon, while a Malaccan galleass, Mapuche caravel, and Chukchi galleass enjoy a nice warm water cruise off the coast of New Zealand.
Quito has fallen and Cumana is at half health! P'küee’s armies are moving fast, punching the daylights out of Simón Bolívar’s remaining defenders. Up north, it looks like Montego Bay is firmly Marajoaran, but Magangue has not fallen yet.
After a major scare from the Marajoaran navy at his doorstep, Eldjárn makes peace with Queen P'küee.
Wilhelm II swaps out the frigate in the Gulf of Riga for a galleass but the result is the same. The Swedes cannot take back Königsberg.
Gran Colombia makes peace with the Anangu, who somehow still exist on this Cylinder. The VOC and the Two Sicilies end hostilities with the Northern Yuan. And oh boy, Genseric chooses to follow the Autocracy ideology.
Trickling out of the jungle to make a forgotten war slightly relevant, Zumbi’s army marches on Newken. The knights who led the column wander right into a network of crossbow fire.
In the northwest, Caracas takes a chunk of damage from a cuirassier charge.
The ever-enlightened Hong Xiuquan declares war against Wangchuck’s Bhutan. Apparently, a Himalayan refuge sounds pretty good compared to being stomped on by Mansur Shah. I can’t blame him, especially when the Taiping interior is only defended by a worker army. Speaking of the man-sur, his Malaccan forces have halved Hangzhou’s health.
Holy crap, Mandukhai’s magic carpet army has taken Khovd into the red and Kashiwazaki into the yellow with only 1 huihui pao siege unit nearby. The remaining Japanese defenders appear to be pulling back to the Amur River north of Osaka to make their last stand. They will need a miracle to survive.
The Gauls and the Ptolemies declare war on the Swedes. The Swedes join the Taiping war against Bhutan. But the biggest news here is the end of Mansur Shah’s invasion of the Heavenly Kingdom. Hong Xiuquan has paid a very steep price for peace, giving up the hotly contested Anqing, the strategically significant southern citadel city of Hangzhou, and the highly productive mining city of Gelephu. However, just before striking the deal, I believe Taiping forces did manage to take back the island of Chengtang. Overall, Mansur Shah has gotten the goods he came for and has severely weakened the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom. So who should he crush next? He turns back to the world map pinned to his dartboard.
Cumana remains in Gran Colombian possession, as does Magangue, it seems. But El Libertador cannot rest easy, because the Marajoarans are now marching line infantry up to the frontlines. Caracas will most likely be the first to taste Queen P'küee’s newfound firepower.
Elsewhere in the world, the Chola became an Autocracy and made peace with Tahiti. Over in Nigeria, Awolowo has completed construction of the Prora, the first Modern Era wonder to be built, in Ouahigouya. It’s a big happiness-boosting wonder, so maybe Nigeria is gearing up for war?
Staten Eylant is briefly Icelandic again, but the two Mississippi musketmen would beg to differ. Andachkhrob takes damage from a brave Icelandic pikeman unit that is most assuredly dead next turn. The Dene continue to struggle against the Neutrals, who now field many war bands, their swordsman UU. Out east in Kinderhoek, the New Netherlands have trained their first line infantry. Let’s hope Peter Stuyvesant puts them to good use.
In peace news, Lautaro and Raja Raja I let Purea live, for now.
Way down south in La Tierra del Fuego, the Mapuche have established a robust, if a little compact, core to produce their army and navy. The Kulin Nation settles another ice base at Yowengerra, perhaps to spy on Lautaro’s homelands.
Vladimir Lenin and Karl XII agree to a peace deal, after being forced into a ceasefire by Kaiser Wilhelm II.
Pontianak is a shell of its former self, but the city is back in Jan Coen’s hands. Very quickly, Coen peaces out with Fa Ngum to try and rebuild the city to its former glory. The Laotian leader takes the time to read the deal and sends a peace agreement of his own to Tanaka Kakuei.
To the northwest, the Uraiyur peninsula is the scene of pointless combat as Laotian and Chola soldiers give their lives in the citadels of no-man’s-land.
I was going to compliment the VOC core in this slide, but there’s no way in hell that it can compare to the jong carpet that blankets the Indonesian waters. As if that wasn’t scary enough, Mansur Shah has two ironclads already afloat. I sincerely hope nobody aboard the sub is still holding on to Anangu stock.
We end here on a somber note, as Japan loses both Kashiwazaki and Khovd simultaneously. Kosovo also redeclares war on the Ptolemies.
Around the world, this episode has devastated many prosperous cities and worn down many armies. North America has a new player in the realm. The Caribbean flies much bolder and brighter colors. Two massive Asian wars ground to a halt. Antarctic ice bases are increasingly hot real estate. Overall, a good time for our sub.