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Hello and welcome to another episode of CBRX 2! I am your host Penguin, and we’ve got a jam-packed episode this week, so let’s begin!
Civ Battle Royale Episode 15: Blood in the Water – S2
August 25, 2021
Penguin
431
Abstract
As the game heats up, powers go to wars across oceans, and weaker civs get picked off by those around them.
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We start off with the lovely Vihreaan Tile-Accurate map, which was a valuable resource in writing this episode. It’s much easier figuring out where things are supposed to be when you have a nice, uncluttered map of tiles to help you.
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Our other piece of OC this week is a comic made by Paraguay_Stonks, summarizing the er… contributions of Zaire to the attack on the Ptolemies.
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Hey look, it’s me! And a bunch of other donors to the CBRX Ko-Fi. If you have the money and want to support the game, feel free to donate!
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Our #1 ranked civ isn’t Malacca anymore, it’s now Nigeria. After nearly demolishing both the Ptolemies and Burkina Faso in the last few episodes, Nigeria is clearly one of the most powerful civs in the game.
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We step into the action with a view of the Kingdom of Jerusalem, trying to fight off the Kosovars and live to see another day. While Acre is threatened, there’s not much space for Rugova to attack it from.
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In the Chinook-Tongva war, we can see that Toypurina has sent a large army to attack Chinook (the city), and looks likely to capture Chinook’s (the civ) capital, leaving them with only three cities.
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Ta’if falls to Zaire, killing Hejaz. Hussein bin Ali died after a sudden collapse, but a quick recapture of Ta’if granted him the right to have technically made it to episode 15! Hejaz may have had a chance if not for their repeated debts leading to an inability to conduct research quickly. RIP Hejaz.
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Saint Stephen moves to take Gori, he’ll likely succeed and end Georgia’s northern colonies, reducing them to only Tbilisi.
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Thanadelthur attacks the Chinook, and Seepoosha is pretty clearly gonna fall. This episode is already looking rough for Comcomly, and we’re only ten slides in.
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Genseric tells his mighty navy to set sail for South America, as he prepares to attack the Marajoara. A battle of two powers, it’s kinda hard to tell who’s gonna win this one. The Vandals have a strong navy, but P’kuee’s is closer to Vandal New Netherlands than Genseric’s is to the Marajoara core.
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P’kuee starts off the war with a success, taking the Vandal’s Newfie colony of Altena. What is it with Northern South American civs and taking over Newfoundland? Maybe cod is an exotic snack down there.
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Jeddah and Ta'if swap hands between the Ptolemies and Zaire, as Cleopatra watches smoke rise across the Red Sea towards her new capital of Medina, in a Middle East torn apart by the wars of foreign powers. It’s entirely different from our own world.
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Sankara is trapped on the distant island of Gorom-Gorom, surrounded by a Vandal navy that could probably capture the island if they wanted. However, it’s mostly useless, so no need for Genseric to bother.
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Gjakove flips to Ferdinand’s sword, but it looks like both it and Palermo will be German cities before long. They’ll then be Bi-Sicillian for a short while. Then, German. Then, Sicillian. Then, German. Then, you get the idea.
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The New Netherlands is a peaceful place, with the exception of the war. Antonio seems to have moved on at this point, and the New Dutch breathe a sigh of relief over the beaver pastures. Are beavers in pastures? As a Canadian, I really should know this.
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The Northern Yuan makes peace with Japan, getting Yokohama in the peace deal. However, Mandukhai doesn’t stay at peace, instead resuming the Khanflict. On the plus side for Kublai, only one of his land tiles borders the Northern Yuan. On the down side, that’s 1/6th of his land tiles.
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The United Nations meets again in Berlin, with Kosovo proposing an embargo of the Teutonic Order. I’m not exactly sure who is doing business with Herman, but Ibrahim wants them to stop it. Wilhelm, on the other hand, tries to unite the world with a fair that he hopes all will appreciate.
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Seepoosha falls to the Dene, and the Chinook are exclave-less. It looks like they may soon be capital-less as well.
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The Marajo army is sweeping through the Caribbean, and this war is starting to look like a mistake for Genseric, given the sudden and mysterious disappearance of most of his navy.
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Mo’ore’a falls to the Marajoara’s warriors, except they’re on boats. P’kuee’s navy just keeps winning, but it looks like the Pacific fleet may be too sparse to take on Pape’ete.
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The citizens of Ubari breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that the Zairean army occupying their land protects it from being filled with the troops of the big green African power that’s been taking cities from the Ptolemies. Yes, nothing like that could happen in Ubari.
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P’kuee pushes towards Vandalic Cuba, trying to take Heemstede, which would allow them easier transit between the West Caribbean and Atlantic Ocean. The Vandal navy is still not attacking, which kind of defeats the point of an offensive war.
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Toypurina has Chinook City half-surrounded with composite bowmen, a unit that’s as slightly outdated as it is unable to capture cities. At the very least, the Olmecs seem to like it. Or maybe not, since they’ve been banished to Clatsop.
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Here we can see the Vandals doing something, as they’ve damaged Severino severely. You can also see their navy, enjoying a peaceful time off the African coast. Why are they there and not at the war? Good question!
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P’kuee pushes north in the Caribbean, capturing Tacape and Aleria, with very little stopping them from completing the Antillean set. This war really has been kind of a disaster for the Vandals.
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Heemstede falls to the Marajoara, continuing the theme of the war being a disaster for the Vandals. Off-screen, Panormus is captured as well, and it seems as though all of the Vandalic Caribbean could fall.
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In Mobutu’s formerly Kurdish cities, the war is a distant event. The Kurdish war does theoretically seem like an issue, but the machine-gun wielding Presidential Guard usually helps the lancers find their way back home. Often in a coffin, but still home.
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Why is the entire Vandal navy next to Gorom-Gorom? What exactly are they supposed to do over there? Clearly not anything that could help with, I don’t know, the war! At least Sankara gets some nice attention, I’m sure it’s pretty lonely on the island.
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It looks like a bit of Genseric’s navy has found its place, just in time for them to help Haverstroo not fall. And should that not work, they can all tear down their ships and use the wood for a wall to protect the mainland. They may be slightly more useful that way.
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The Kulin hold the World’s Fair, and an enjoyable time is had by all. Not too enjoyable of a time however, since no one has the idea of doing it again.
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Acre falls to Kosovo, and the Crusader Kingdom has fallen into the ashbin of history. It seems this Middle Eastern empire was destroyed by Europeans who were terrible at fighting wars. On his last night as a leader, Baldwin falls asleep wondering what it must be like to be on the other side of the border, specifically, the Kurdish side with all the Gauls. He always felt a sort of kinship with the French.
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In Patagonia, the Marajoara-Mapuche war has stalled into a standstill. More interestingly, however, is Paraguay’s fairly large army, which seems to be going unused.
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Altena flips back to the Vandals, and it looks like they may take Mabila as well. However, if the New Netherlands only had a melee unit, they could take Rensselaerswyck.
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P’kuee’s Pacific push preserves, powerful privateers pushing Pape’ete, Purea panicking, Penguin pining, please pass P-phrases, practice pronouncing prior paragraph promptly.
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Thenae and Panormus fall to the Marajoara, who are currently painting the Caribbean a slightly darker shade of brown. The Vandal navy has finally arrived though, and could be useful for once by now.
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Gjakove and Palermo fall to Germany, and it looks like Wilhelm could push further into the Italian peninsula, possibly even as far south as Naples. On the other hand, it is this war, so it’ll probably just have these two cities flip for another hundred turns.
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While Haverstroo, Wiltwyck, and Keivis Hoek are still Vandal, that’s not likely to last for long. P’kuee has the forces to flip them at the very least, and possibly hold at least one for a while.
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Ta’if falls back to Zaire, establishing a Congolese belt ranging from Kerkuk to Jeddah and providing a buffer zone between the Chola and Ptolemies. The question now is whether Zaire will take their gains, or make a risky push towards Ascalon.
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Chinook (the city and the civ) is pretty much done for. The city is one melee unit away from becoming Tongva, and the civ will then be reduced to two cities surrounded by much stronger neighbours. Comcomly had a good run while it lasted I guess.
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Gori falls to Great Perm, possibly ending the northern Georgian experiment. It does look kind of possible that Tamar could flip it back, but I doubt she could hold onto it for very long.
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Severino falls to their Vandals, their first experience of success in this war. However, it will probably be their only success, and I doubt it’s worth losing the entire Caribbean.
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To reinforce the theme of the Vandals losing the Caribbean, Haverstraw falls to Marajoara, and it looks like Kievtis Hoek is gonna follow. On the plus side for Genseric, he flipped Panormus for a few minutes.
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Pape’ete falls to the Marajoara, leaving Tahiti without their capital. Meheti’a looks like it may join the Marajoara soon as well, and whatever unit has been attacking Teti’aroa has been doing a good job, though it looks like it’s dead now.
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In our second capital capture in a row, Chinook falls to the Tongva. However, it looks like this is as far as Toypurina is willing to push, hopefully leaving the Chinook with two cities to keep living in for a while.
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The Nigerian navy is pushing at Gorom-Gorom, and it looks like it might fall, stranding the Burkinabe in Ubari. The Vandal navy off to the west continues to be absolutely useless.
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I’m sure Genseric would appreciate some theoretical reinforcements in this massive conflict between two walls of privateers, which could decide the fate of the Caribbean and/or Iberia.
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The Kulin have remembered their war with the Mapuche, and as a result, I have also remembered it. I doubt these ships will be enough to capture a city, but I’ve been wrong probably slightly more times than I’ve been right.
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The Olmecs are vibing peacefully, pretending they don’t realize Rio Grande could wipe them out at any moment. They must have realized it by now, those big heads surely store big brains. Then again, not big enough brains to do well in the royale.
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A single Zanzibarian ship tries fatefully to take Ra’iatea, but struggles due to the complete lack of reinforcements, and no one realizing these two civs are at war. Will it succeed in it’s quest? Spoilers: no.
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In slightly more optimistic news, Malacca has knocked Amata down to the yellow. Of course, it is rather difficult to capture a landlocked city without any land units.
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Meheti’a falls to Marajoara, and it looks like Tai’arapu could be next. However, it does look like P’kuee has kinda started to run out of ships, and this might be as far as she can push.
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The citizens in Ubari hear rumors of Gorom-Gorom falling, but still feel no worry. They know that as long as every Zairean unit stays in place for all of eternity, they will survive. And surely that must be at least possible, right?
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Niagara is a beautiful city-state, known for its magnificent waterfall, amazing fireworks shows, and slightly cheesy tourist attractions. One thing it is not known for however, is it’s chance at winning.
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Severino flips to the Marajoara, and it looks like they may even push on to Macaco, as though erasing Genseric’s only gain in the war, and conquering the Caribbean wasn’t enough for P’kuee.
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Hawaii declares war on VOC, in a conflict that probably won’t go anywhere. At least I hope it doesn’t, the borders would be much nicer if Malacca conquered Makasser.
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Mo'ore'a flips back to Tahiti, and it looks like Purea could push onto Meheti'a if she wanted. On the other hand, Tai'arapu doesn't quite look safe yet. Also interesting is the small Malaccan island fleet, which could help defeat Tahiti if it got involved. Purea doesn't have to worry about the Chukchi anymore, at the very least.
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Here we get visual confirmation that Gorom-Gorom fell to Nigeria, and we can see the Vandal fleet still being absolutely fucking useless, despite their war going on.
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Mabila flips back to the Vandals, who will probably lose it unless their navy decides to show the fuck up and fight the war, instead of crusing around near Gorom-Gorom.
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The German-Sicillian stalemate carries on, as Mansur Shah completes the Manhattan Project, granting him the power to use nuclear weapons to further his global conquest.
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The Vandals might maybe take back part of the Caribbean I guess, maybe if their navy would show up, wait, I just realized, is it possible for that navy to reach the Caribbean? After looking it looks like it probably can, but I can’t prove it, and there’s probably not another explanation for them not being useful besides inaccessibility. Well, I sure look like an idiot now.
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Wiltwyck and Keitvis Hoek fall to the Marajoara boat-warriors. As P'kuee enters the city of Wiltwyck, she sees “WILTWYCK MAN WUZ HERE” written on every wall. Her advisor informs her this is one of Geneseric’s traditions, known as “Vandal-ism”
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The citizens of Ubari breathe a sigh of relief, as the war with Nigeria ends. Despite Sankara’s polite requests for them to leave, the military of Zaire insists their services are still needed, in case Awolowo happens to change his mind.
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Lesotho declares war on Namibia, instantly knocking Butha-Buthe down to no health. The crossbowmen that make up the entire Namibian army will try to fight on, but will probably not be the most successful.
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The Namibian army in Zanzibar could try to dash through Lesotho to join the fight, but they seem unwilling for some reason. Probably connected to the fact that this plan would end in their certain death.
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The Chinook and Tongva make peace, despite the war having effectively ended a while ago. Comcomly will breathe a sigh of relief at having exited the war with his life.
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Temu Ko falls to the Mapuche, but it looks like a flip may still be possible. Visible in the corner is a strange attempt by Lautaro to take Lima from P’kuee, held back by the few units assigned to this mission.
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Zaire has decided to continue the push towards conquering the Middle East, moving a large group of troops towards Ascalon.
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Hawaii seems to be sending a large amount of troops to try and finish off VOC, and it looks like it might actually work out for Lili. If it works out, it’d be quite the surprise.
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The United Nations meets to discuss embargoing The Gauls and/or Tongva. Why? I certainly don’t know! We can also see that the embargo on the Teutons passed, for some reason.
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Butha-Buthe and Bethanie both fall to Lesotho, killing Morenga. He died how he lived, in war with Lesotho. The Namibian navy lives on free to sail the seas and search for a new land that God Made in Anger.
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Marajoara and Mapuche make peace off-screen, leavin P’kuee to focus on the war with Genseric, who is still weakley trying to take Thenae back.
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Makasser falls to Hawaii. There's no screenshot of this, but it happened. As a result, VOC is now dead, having been given as much attention in death as in life. Hawaii, back up to two cities, is riding high.
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New Netherlands gives Beverwyck to Rio Grande in a peace deal, losing a third of their cities. They then declare war on the Neutrals and begin to march towards their capital in the hopes of re-connecting Kandoucho and Barnde Gat.
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Japan declares war on the Yuan, and instantly knocks Hetu Ala to yellow. However, capturing it will require going through the Yuan’s land, a difficult task due to it’s nonexistence.
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The Vandals continue to try to retake Severino, and perhaps some day they’ll succeed. That day is not today however, and if it does arrive, I'd like to hope it’s a tad more entertaining then the stalemate this war has become.
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Thenae flips to the Vandals, allowing them to keep some of the Caribbean, at least for a few turns. Georgia and Great Perm make peace with each other off-screen.
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In the Antarctic front of the Kulin-Mapuche war, we can see that about as much is happening as in the rest of the war. Namely, absolutely nothing.
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Teti’aroa falls to Paraguay of all civs, and Solano might have a shot at taking Tai’arapu if he’s lucky. Marajoara and Tahiti make peace, as Purea is confused about which South American civ just took her city.
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Genseric continues to be rich, because of course he does. He’s Genseric! The man with an army of caravans, and a navy of cargo ships.
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Mecca looks close to falling to Zaire, granting Mobutu another capital, in addition to weakening Cleopatra. The random German colony of Hermoupolis watches this from a distance.
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With almost all of the Caribbean under P’kuee’s control, the vandalism on the walls is getting replaced with brand new pottery.
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The Kulin finally have sent a navy that is capable of making this war interesting, as they prepare to try and take Lof Ta and Yowengerra.
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Ascalon and Khamis Mushayt fall to Zaire, and it looks like Mecca will not be far off. Cleopatra’s last hope in this war is peace at pretty much any cost.
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A lot of Sicillian cities are open for the taking if only Wilhelm could find a melee unit. Everywhere from Naples to Capua could fall in a turn if units that could actually take cities were used.
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The UN meets once more. Kosovo wishes to embargo the Two Sicillies, as though poor Ferdinand hasn’t been through enough lately. Wilhelm wants to make Lutheranism the world religion.
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The Vandals and Marjoara make peace, ending a game-changing war. The Vandals no longer seem as major a threat in the Americas, while P’kuee may now be able to cross the Atlantic herself and move on to Africa or Europe if she so wishes.
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Rio Grande declares war on the Mississippi, but it’s hard to tell if their army is big enough to do serious damage. If they succeed, they could have ports stretching from the Gulf of Mexico up to the Caribbean.
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Mecca falls to Zaire, reducing Cleopatra to just Medina. The entire Middle East is covered in smoke from the destruction of war, blanketing the sky with a dark and ominous fog.
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The Chukchi are making a move against the Mississippi, attacking Nemah. However, the Chinook peacekeepers will slow them down, since they have nowhere else to go with Toypurina citadelling their homeland.
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Yikes, Moundville, Ocmulgee, and Holly Bluff have all already fallen to Rio Grande, and Cahokia doesn’t look far off. This is not good for Tuscaloosa.
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Tabuk falls to Kurdistan. Barzani has a couple more options here, he could try to either retake Kerkuk or attack Khamis Mushayt. Either option will be risky, and peace is tempting.
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Random Yuan troops attack Liaoyang, but it doesn’t look like the Yuan will be able to accomplish much, shockingly. This shot does reveal the Northern Yuan’s worrying lack of a carpet.
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The Mapuche have decided to go on the offensive in the Antarctic war, but probably won’t do anything successfully, just like every time a civ tries to win this war.
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Cahokia flips with Rio Grande, as Antonio continues his push into the Mississippi. After here it will become trickier, as Tuscaloosa has a lot of weapons up north.
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The Yuan continue to persevere, but it looks like it may be over for them as Mandukhai has cavalry right next to the city, which is surrounded by cannons.
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Cahokia falls to Rio Grande. Now without his capital, Tuscaloosa has to focus on the further defence of his cities, as Antonio pushes towards Atahachi.
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Mo’ore’a ended up with the Marajoara, but Tahiti looks to be trying to retake Teti’aroa from Solano. Using the entire navy would probably be a better strategy for Purea, however.
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Hermoupolis flips to Two Sicilies, but more interestingly, Medina looks screwed. With a wall of aircraft carriers in the sea, and the mighty Zairean army surrounding them on land, Cleopatra has nowhere to go but six feet under.
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The once mighty PA-RG army has all but vanished, as Kolchak’s core looks less like a carpet and more like a few pieces of fabric left on the floor.
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William Barak has decided that he’s had enough of the Antarctic war. More specifically, the Antarctic part of it. He sends a decent sized army to travel through Paraguayan land and attack Mapuche head on. Will it work? I have no idea.
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Uzbekistan has a crazy big carpet, if only they wanted to use it. They could absolutely destroy either Saint Stephen or Kolchak, but instead they’re just waiting to do something.
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The United Nations meets once more, with Kosovo wanting to embargo the Heavenly Kingdom for some reason, while Germany wants to embargo All-Russia.
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Two Sicilies are reeling after Bari and Naples both fall to Germany. If Wilhelm can keep them, and maybe move onto Teramo or Campobasso, that could be a regional gamechanger. That presumes that Wilhelm can hold onto cities though.
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Castalian Springs falls to Rio Grande, isolating Nemah from the rest of the Mississippi. The troops from this conquest are already heading back south to help finish off Tuscaloosa.
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Cahokia flips back to Tuscaloosa, and it looks he may try to free Holly Bluff next. However, a few turns of a Rio Grande push could take Cahokia back, and capture Fox Farm and Atahachi.
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Purea has almost taken back Teti’aroa, at which point she will hopefully wake up and realize that the eastern half of her empire is missing.
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Palermo, Naples, and Bari all flip to the Two Sicilies at once, but a strong German push could still take out all of the Italian and Greek peninsulas, however, Wilhelm doesn’t seem to be in a pushing mood.
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There is one area Wilhelm is willing to push however, and that’s Sweden. Having citadelled his way up to Stockholm, he could do serious damage to Catboy Karl if given the chance.
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The Mapuche have decided that two can play at William’s game of attacking the opposing homeland, and have sent a small fleet to attack New Zealand??? Best of luck to them I suppose, they’ll need it.
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Cahokia flips back to Rio Grande, and it looks like Antonio has a chance to push up to Fox Farm and Atahachi, securing him a Great Lakes port.
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Tabuk flips to Zaire, but the Kurd-Zaire war doesn’t seem over yet, as Kerkuk could easily flip if all those damn peacekeepers weren’t in the way, keeping the peace and other boring stuff like that.
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The Kulin army is very spread out, an odd strategy if the goal is to capture cities. On the other hand, one strategy could be to kill enough Mapuche troops in order to ask for the Antarctic cities in the peace deal. However, that sounds like way too much planning ahead for the AI.
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The Ptolemies make peace with Mobutu. But get no time to rest as Awolowo declares war, and pretty much instantly surrounds Medina with helicopter gunships. Cleopatra’s saving grace is Nigeria’s complete lack of melee units.
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Holly Bluff flips back to the Mississippi, but it looks like it may not stay there for long. Tuscaloosa could try to build off this to retake Cahokia, but risks losing Fox Farm and Atahachi due to the troop diversions.
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The Kulin crew is still spread out along the Mapuche-Paraguay border, instead of concentrating on one city. A few more troops in the right places could really make the difference in the Battle of Temu Ko.
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The Mapuche fleet, on the other hand, finally seems to be doing something right, and it looks like Ngararoon might fall. However, the technology difference of ten planes in the city fighting Mapuche privateers will be hard to overcome.
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P’kuee declares war on Rio Grande, but this kind of seems like a terrible idea. Antonio hasn’t been losing his navy in the Mississippi war, and his fleet is much more advanced than P’kuee’s. However, it does look like Swaanendael could fall.
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In the North Sea, we see the mighty fleets of Gaul and Germany, although Vercingetorix’s navy is trapped behind German control, and the carpet is too thick for an open borders agreement to be of any help if he chose to attack someone other than Wilhelm.
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In the war of the rivers, Nodena falls to the Rio Grande. It still looks like Holly Bluff, Fox Farm, and Atahachi could fall, if only Antonio sent the units in his core further south to attack them.
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The first conflict in the Marajoara-Rio Grande war takes places, as the two Pacific navies crash when P’kuee sends a few troops through Guayaquil to make a move for Topo de los Ayala.
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By the islands of Thagaste and Tricamarum, some sort of religious conversion is taking place. I can’t tell who sent the missionaries, but someone sent some.
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Everyone loves to visit Punjab and see magnificent wonders like the Brandenburg Gate. This is also the first time Punjab’s been mentioned all episode. That tourism hasn’t been leading to conquest I guess.
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The Mapuche fleet sent to attack the Kulin core is just waiting at the border. Sure they’ll fail miserably if they attack the city, but they could at least try.
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The Rio Grande-Marajoara war continues, and it looks like it may not have been such a terrible idea after all. Antonio’s Pacific fleet is gone, so P’kuee might be able to take Topo de los Ayala.
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Uzbekistan finally prepares to use it’s army, declaring war on Bhutan. Karimov’s plan might run into some difficulties if he tries to move past Wangdue however, since there’s no passable connection between it and the rest of Bhutan.
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The Kurdish-Zaire war continues, but the conflict has cooled down significantly. While Barzani could make a mad dash to try and take Tabuk, he seems perfectly fine pretending that the war is over.
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The Khanflict comes to yet another end, as Mandukhai and Kublai make peace, and it will soon come to a permanent end, as the Chukchi declare war on the Yuan.
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On the Caribbean front, we can see that the Rio Grande navy has kind of disappeared, and P’kuee is a few ships away from being able to unite Cuba.
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Atahachi finally flips to Rio Grande, and maybe, hopefully, Fox Farm will be next. Rio Grande is truly a civ of borders, named after the river that marks the American-Mexican border, stretching south to the Nicaragua-Costa Rica border, and now reaching up to the Canadian-American border.
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This war continues to drag on lazily, with the Uzbeks now completely surrounding Tabuk for some reason. However, the Kurdish army is amassing at the Kosovar border. Is Barzani planning to retake the holy land? Maybe!
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The brutally citadelled remains of the once strong Chinook empire are protecting Nemah from the Chukchi, having decided they’d rather their one enemy control it then their other enemy.
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Wangdue has almost fallen to the Uzbeks, and while it’ll be hard to get further conquest from that, maybe Wangdue is all Islam Karimov ever really wanted. Maybe when he takes this city, he will delete his army, sell all his cities, and move to Wangdue to live in peace. Find out if this really happens next time on the Civ Battle Royale! I’ve been Penguin, and thank you for reading!