Episode 18: Crashing Waves and Grinding Soils

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Pozdrav svima i dobrodošli* to the Civ Battle Royale X Season 2 Episode 18. Your narrator today is BV, or u/anarcho-balkan on Reddit.

Although officially joining the community only in October 2019 upon making my reddit account, I have functionally been a member-lurker of the community for 4 years longer than that, since the early days of Mk2. Throughout all iterations of the Royale, I’ve had something of a tendency to switch sides once per season: in Mk2, I was first rooting for the Yakuts, before switching to Vietnam; in CBRX1, it was first Palmyra, before switching to the Moors; now in CBRX2, I initially threw my lot in with the Kurds, before joining the Malacca fan-club.

My most well known contribution to the community was a shitpost I made to honour the Seljuqs’ death in CBRX S1 back in January 2020, which, despite being my first, somehow ended up as OC of the week. All things considered, you probably know me better from Discord than from Reddit.

Enough about me though, you’re here for the action. *TL note: “pozdrav svima i dobrodošli” means “greetings all and welcome” in Serbocroatian.

2: Map

Here’s the tile-accurate map by Vihreaa. Soak this map in while you still can, for the cylinder will never be the same again.

3: OC

As of me typing this, there hasn’t been a piece of OC made, let alone chosen, but I’ll assume Orange would make a new Malacca in the Middle chapter sometime before the episode is out.

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As always, thank you to the Ko-Fi supporters for keeping this and future projects going.

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Nigeria is still on first place, while the biggest change in rankings was Japan falling by 16 places to become eliminated. I’ll let Coiot decide which one of these we’ll have for the slide.

On with the show.

Coiot: I went with Nigera, because the content in this image will be relevant this episode.

6: Overflow

On our first real slide of the episode, we see that, despite (or perhaps because of) the mutual nuking, the Marajoara-Kulin War seems to be quieting down. There’s still some action, like between those Kulin ships (I think they’re destroyers?) and Marajoaran embarked units, but overall, the war seems to have hit an impasse, as Paraguayan and, to a far lesser extent, Missippian peacekeepers have closed off most avenues of action.

7: Italian Slog

Here we see the German-Sicilian War in all its sloggy glory. Though Germany visibly has an edge, having gained Teramo since the war had started last episode, their efforts to hold onto it and Alesia are frustrated by the sea of mostly North-Yuan and Ptolemaic peacekeepers, with some mandatory Uzbeks thrown in for flavour. Two Sicilies has troops in position to capture either city, but their chances aren’t exactly the best, given they have just one unit next to Terami, while their chances at Alesia will be handicapped by the small but advanced German army and fleet nearby.

08: End of Beaver Season

Press F to pay your respects to New Netherlands. They were once among the more powerful contestants in North America, ruling the entire eastern seaboard and much of the Caribbean, fighting multiple wars with the Neutrals and even fought Rio Grande to a stalemate once. However, the first war with the Vandals, which initially seemed to be a mere series of raids - destructive ones, mind you, but still just that - eventually turned heavily against them, losing most of their empire. Most of what was left was then swiftly gobbled up by Rio Grande. They survived for a time in their 2 remaining cities, one of them being their rival Neutral Nation’s capital, until the Vandals came once more, taking Barnde Gat and eliminating the Neutrals at Niagara last episode, before moving in for the kill at Kandoucho, eliminating the New Dutch at 43rd and taking the OG Neutral capital in a single move. Beaver season is over my friends, but the memory of the New Dutch will live on, and I hope Stuyvesant finds his new place in the submarine cozy. F.

09: Med Blues

Predictably, the Sicilians are yet to capture Teramo. Worse, it seems they won’t be getting Alesia anytime soon, as I spy an Uzbek unit (possibly a vertol, IIRC) in the city.

On the sidebar, we’re informed that Mansur Shah has constructed a wonder, the Virtual Idol, in the city of Pahang. I for one, welcome the overt weebness of our sultan.

10: Lake Area

The remnants of the New Dutch Army have been beaten, but more of note is the movement of Dene units through Vandalmerica, possibly trying to find a gap in the Paraguayan peacekeeping formation to outflank the Mississippians from.

Off screen, Two Sicilies had briefly flipped Teramo before immediately losing it to Germany.

In the sidebar, we see that the irrelevant Taiping-Palmarian War has come to a close.

11: Peace in Our Time

Here we see the end of the Kulin-Marajoaran War, and the Kulin have secured a nice foothold on the South American continent, much to my chagrin (since I was cheering for Marajoara in this war, but, oh well, you can’t get all, I guess).

Also, Mansur Shah and Cleopatra made peace.

12: Labrodorian Wastes

Up here in the Labrador peninsula’s hinterlands, IRL a sparsely populated land of forests and lakes, the last of the Mississipians live in mostly medium-to-large cities. Though they still have an army, their main defence comes in the form of the Paraguayan peacekeepers, with some Anangu refugees also tagging along.

The most these guys seem to worry about are Dene air raids at their smallest remaining city, Slack Farm, and to a smaller degree the middling city of Long Swamp. There’s also a Dene paratrooper in the very middle of the Long Swamp - Andachkhrob - Staten Eylant triangle. However, the biggest threat to the Mississippi seems to come from the south, as the Vandal conquests and the Dene-Vandal open borders agreement have opened up a two-tile gap that the remnants of the Mississippian army have no choice but to fill themselves, as the positioning of themselves, the Paraguayan peacekeepers and the Anangu refugees doesn’t allow for movement of units. Luckily, the Dene are yet to arrive at this frontier, and there’s yet to be indication of their arrival in large enough numbers to push through.

Off in the sidebar, Tuscaloosa and P’küee declare war on U Kix Chaan’s city-state, while Lenin builds the Utsäde Gene Vault in Moscow.

13: Red Sea Scuffle

On this slide, we see a small group of Zairian units push through the Uzbek peacekeeper carpet to capture Hermoupolis from the Sicilians. However, a small Sicilian fleet and a lone Kurdish peshmerga UU are just outside the city walls, so flipping is still possible. At least until the Uzbeks settle in.

14: Southern Ocean

Not sure what we’re supposed to see here exactly. The Chola have this Antarctic base they’ve taken from Zanzibar and then retaken from the Ptolemies, while Kulin boasts a large carpet with only a few gaps, two of which are filled by Paraguayans, as well as impressive city defenses, but otherwise this slide seems to exist just to calm us with its peaceful atmosphere. Probably won’t last into the next slide, but still, it is nice.

15: RSS 2

As expected, the Uzbeks immediately settled in, but not to the same degree as I feared, as the Sicilians have sent enough units to seriously challenge the Zairian hold over Hermoupolis. The Sicilians, Zairians and Kurds are all positioned in such a way that the Uzbeks aren’t as much of a hindrance to the conflict as they could’ve been. I’m also glad to see that our peshmerga friend had earned a promotion.

16: Antarctic Waves

Here we see the forgotten Zanzibari Antarctic colony and now capital, Pangani, and why the Chola never reached it - Kulin borders surround it, and Chola doesn’t seem to have open borders with the Kulin. Judging by the population numbers, far from being in an isolated polar hell, the Zanzibaris have managed to turn this into a small winter wonderland. Although the view on the map says otherwise, I’m gonna let my wishful thinking take the better of me and assume they found some useful resource they could use for trade, while also adapting their housing and environment to accommodate both the local climate and the population.

17: Mongol Invasion of America

Tongva, Bhutan and Northern Yuan make peace with Laos, only for Nigeria, Bhutan and Northern Yuan to turn their gazes to the Chinook, while Burkina Faso decided to join the anti-Olmec coalition. What might’ve initially seemed like an irrelevant war however quickly turns otherwise, as the NYAPPF (North-Yuan American Pacific Peace Force) turns into the NYAPEF (North-Yuan American Pacific Expeditionary Force), attacking the current Chinook capital of Clatsop. With the Chinook army outnumbered and outdated, their only hope for survival are geography and the regional armies of the neutral powers.

18: Big Stick Syndrome

The title of this slide is a reference to an episode of the same name from the early days of Mk2, and I will be dropping a few more in this slide’s text too.

Alberti has made a list of people with pointiest sticks, that is, most powerful armies. By far the biggest stick is the Kulin’s one, being twice as big as #8 PARG’s one. Places 5-7, being Uzbekistan, the Marajoara and Rio Grande, all have similarly large sticks, visibly bigger than PARG’s. USSR’s stick is a little bit bigger than their sticks and Malacca’s a little bit bigger than USSR’s. Nigeria’s stick is visibly bigger than Malacca’s, but it’s still plenty smaller than the Kulin’s.

However, it remains to be seen how these sticks are used. As Texas had taught Canada in Mk2, it’s not about how big your stick is, it’s how you use it.

19: UN

The UN is once again having a session, with Nigeria proposing a ban on dyes, while Germany wants to embargo the Chukchi.

20: Womb of Nations

In IRL history, many ancient Germanic peoples claimed to have hailed from southern Scandinavia, and there is good evidence to suggest that this area on the Baltic and North Sea coasts, as well as some of the areas just south of this shot were the homeland of the Proto-Germanics. Whether the historians, archeologists and anthropologists of the cylinder would agree with us or not we will never know, but one thing is for sure - the Germans are the rulers of this area’s seas. On land, it’s somewhat different - sure, the cities are all German, but the army is a mix of North-Yuan, Kulins, Yuan and Uzbeks. I wonder how the local Germans and Germanized Swedes feel about all that.

Meanwhile, Tongva, Burkina Faso and Kosovo declare war on the Chinook, and Tongva also declares war on the Olmecs.

21: Eastern ‘Murica

Here we have a view of Southern Vandalmerica and the eastern provinces of Rio Grande. Both seem to be decently developed, with mostly mid-sized cities, plenty of units and some foreign vacationers, peacekeepers and refugees. We also see the Riograndese defence bug in full force here, with Nieuw Amstel at 618 defence.

22: Isthmian Struggles

Due to a combination of heavy terrain, mild bordergore, a few peacekeepers and their own citadels being pillaged by the recent Kulin war, the Marajoara are struggling to get their units to Olmec land. Tonalá has taken some damage though, either from the Marajoaran air force in Portmore or the damaged artillery unit that has managed to make its way into Olmec territory.

23: Dene Invasion

Dene has managed to find a route towards the Mississipians, but the Vandal units in the St. Lawrence river valley and in and around the St. Lawrence Gulf are making progress difficult. Still this promises some progress towards the now zero-health city of Long Swamp- waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiit a minute... Is that fallout I see? How are the Paraguayans undamaged and subsequently not at war with Dene rn? Is this a remnant from an earlier nuke that me and the previous narrators failed to notice? Or is it some kinda bug?

24: A Mongol Cascadia

The NYAPEF has seized Clatsop, forcing Comcomly to move to Palux. However, the city is still in the red, the paratrooper holding it in yellow, and Chinook troops are in range, so it may yet flip.

25: Costa Azzurra

The Sicilians have somehow taken Alesia, and, despite the sparsity of their own forces there, they seem like they’ll probably hold it, as the German forces remaining around it are just as if not more sparse, and I’m 90% sure none of the German units in Alesian territory are melee ones.

Oh, and the Soviets and Palmarians peaced out.

26: Airstrikes

Zairian airstrikes from Silêmanî have battered Hewlêr to the black and Qamişlo to the red, while Kurdish artillery made sure Sine didn’t recover from the Zairian capture. However, any progress by either Zaire or the Kurdish-Sicilian alliance is prevented by all the peacekeepers, most of them Uzbeks and Lesothoans, but with some Zanzibaris and Paraguayans present too.

27: Caspo-Caucasian Area

Here we have another peaceful slide, viewing the carpeted peacekeeping giant, Uzbekistan, the also carpeted rump, Georgia, the USSR’s barren southern lands and Kosovar Kuban being carpeted by North-Yuan forces instead of Kosovar ones.

As for the notifications, Punjab and Laos have made peace, while the USSR and, more relevantly, Lesotho had declared war on Chola. Chola has a large and powerful navy, but there are a lot of Lesothoan paratroopers in their territory, including their very heartland, so we’ll see how that goes.

Also, Finland now has nuclear weapons capabilities.

28: Madagascar Sea Warfare

Here the situation seems rather obvious - Lesotho has the clear edge on land due to sheer numbers, but Chola rules the waves. Still, it’s questionable as to if that is gonna last, given the massive Lesothoan Air Force in the area, compared to the minimal Chola Air Force presence here. Now, one of the many notification sheets Coiot has provided me says that Lesotho takes Malindi from Chola during this very turn, but the minimap doesn’t confirm that, at least not yet. I guess we should keep our eyes on the minimap during the next few slides to get concrete confirmation.

29: Backstab

The former peacekeepers that had helped Chola defend from Punjab have now turned on those they’ve been protecting, but the situation isn’t nearly as dire for the Chola as I might’ve thought. Anuradhapura has suffered a little bit of damage, but Chola has plenty of forces of its own to throw at the problem. Any Lesothoan reinforcements will need to go through waters infested by the Chola navy, however, and I don’t like their chances. Also, we immediately get minimap confirmation that Malindi has, indeed, fallen to Lesotho. The sheets never lie. They just fumble the diacritic’d letters.

30: Bhutanese Woes

This turn, Punjab and Taiping have declared war on Bhutan. Trashigang, Samtse and Thimphu had already been weakened by the previous wars with Uzbekistan and Lesotho, and air runs by Punjab had brought them all the way to black. Thimphu and Samtse will almost certainly hold, due to the mountains and North-Yuan peacekeepers, but Trashigang, on the wrong side of a mountain range and with no peacekeepers to speak of, is ripe for the taking. Our favourite Bhutanese city seems like it won’t be Bhutanese for long.

31: Rumble in the Jungle

Lesotho’s Indochina Area Command, consisting of army groups Burma, Kra and Cambodia, is also active against Chola here. Army groups Burma and Kra are pillaging their respective areas of operations, while army group Cambodia is trying to capture Pakse. Something tells me that that’s not gonna work out in their favour.

32: The Antarctic Front

Here, we see that both sides’ navies are duking it out in the cylinder’s nether regions (that sounded much less dirty in my head). A small Lesothoan fleet accompanying their embarked army are moving towards Soerbaja, but I don’t like their chances against the large Chola fleet there. Meanwhile, a section of the Cholan Subantarctic fleet is moving towards Marakabei, but a combination of not-sending-enough ships and a Malaccan fleet partially in the way means that the Lesothoan Antarctic city is probably not in danger of falling yet.

33: The Swahili Coast Campaign

Here, we see that Lesotho has captured Dar es Salaam, and their army is tightening the noose around Zanzibar. However, their hold on Malindi isn’t secure just yet either, as some Chola units are still on the mainland, and the local Chola fleet will probably sink plenty of those embarked units trying to surround and capture Zanzibar.

Off in the sidebar, Rio Grande and Finland had joined the anti-Chola coalition, while the Sicilian-Ptolemaic war officially comes to a close.

34: Trashy Gang

After skipping the relatively uneventful turn 580, we see that turn 581 has some interesting events.

First off, we see Trashigang falling to the Punjabis. However, the militants of the Trashy Gang, supported by the regular Bhutanese army, still hold sway in parts of its countryside, and are determined to retake their hometown. Whether they will or not remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, Sankara and Comcomly peace out, while Punjab declares war on Paraguay. As I’ve already been spoiled by the CBRX Arc Four Narrators group chat on Discord, I have a very bad feeling about this.

35: Indian Ocean Campaign

The Chola navy is breaking down the meager defences of the Lesothoan navy and army, moving in towards the as of yet undamaged Malealea.

36: Victory in India

Though the Lesothoans had caused some damage to the Chola core cities, particularly Pazhaiyarai, the Chola had all but defeated Lesotho’s India Area Command.

Also, the notif sheets tell me that the Trashy Gang had retaken their hometown later during this turn, Chola has taken Marakabei, and Lesotho has seized Zanzibar, but those would only be visible on the minimap next turn.

37: South American Conflict

What did I tell you 3 slides back?

Marajoara has declared war on Paraguay. There are some Uzbek, Mapuche and even 1 Riograndese unit serving as peacekeepers, but the front should still be wide enough for plenty of action to be going on.

38: Indian Ocean Campaign, part 2

The Chola navy continues to dominate in these waters, puting Malealea in the red, Roma in the yellow and Thaba Tseka in the green. The former two are likely to fall, due to the local Cholan numerical superiority, but a single Cholan ship won’t be enough to capture the latter. This isn’t helped by the fact that Chola reinforcements have been intercepted by a Lesothoan fleet, and for once it’s actually mostly an actual fleet, and not some collection of embarked land units.

39: GANG GANG

Here we see that Trashigang is indeed back in the hands of Bhutan, still protected by the Trashy Gang remnants. However, all the Bhutanese cities are now in red due to Punjabi air raids, with Trashigang still seeming to be the most vulnerable.

Meanwhile, Laos peaces out with Rio Grande, while Palmares peaces out with Hawaii and Georgia.

40: Battered Heads

Here we see Marajoara making limited progress against the Olmecs. They now have 3 units in Olmec territory, only 2 of which are military and only 1 of them able to capture cities. Tonalá is in the red, so a city capture is possible, and that capture being a complete elimination isn’t beyond the realm of possibility.

41: Amazonian Struggle

Here we see the Marajoaran Air Force battering Ybycuí into the red and Humaitá into the yellow, while the Paraguayans have only dealt a tiny sliver of damage to Tabocas.

42: Indian Ocean Campaign, part 3

The Chola have taken Malealea, brought Roma into the red, destroyed the Lesothoan fleet that had previously intercepted their reinforcements and are moving in to surround the remnants of the Lesothoan Indian Ocean fleet. They have completely secured their naval superiority.

In the minimap, we can also see that Trashigang has fallen to Punjab once again.

Burkina Faso can now build nukes.

43: El Frente Pacifico

An unexpected consequence of the Marajoaran DOW is that the Paraguayan peacekeepers in Kulin America are now a proper military force. The Pacific Front is now moving towards the Marajoaran cities in Colombia. The Marajoaran navy is gonna have many easy pickings with this many embarked units, but the fact that there are so many embarked units may actually be a legit threat, even when unaccompanied.

44: Dead Head

The Marajoaran Army has captured Tonalá, and with no Olmec units in sight, we can safely declare the Olmecs eliminated at 42nd. The Olmecs were never really a contender for the win. They founded a rather successful religion, but they never expanded beyond their initial home. Their empire, if one can even call it that, was chipped away from multiple times, most notably with Rio Grande taking the Olmec capital. The Olmecs somehow managed to survive the incursions of the New Dutch by dumb luck (read: border gore) back when the latter were a powerhouse, and now somehow managed to outlive their assailants from several episodes ago. In a weird peace treaty, they gave Palmares one of their only two remaining cities, and were soon joined by them in the city-state club. There, they resided, until the Marajoarans decided to get rid of a rump that just so happened to also be a religious rival. They may have had big heads, but their brains didn’t increase proportionally with them. One could only assume their hearts did, given the peace with Palmares, but we will never know. Now, U Kix Chaan is on his way to the submarine. Rest in heads, Olmecs. F.

45: Smile and Wave

Speaking of the submarine, here we are, and... What is going on here? Why are there Kulin troops around us? Why are there Lesothoan helicopters and Malacan ships nearby? The Nigerians and Chola also sent representatives? What are those Paraguayan ships doing there in Cholan Antarctica? With the exception of the last question, all of these relate to the sub situation. I hope this isn’t the last pre-Endgame episode, because that collection of units is giving me flashbacks to the last pre-E slides of CBRX S1. We better remain inside the sub for now, and if any of us decides to get out, the best way would be to just pull a “Penguins of Madagascar” and smile and wave to the cameras. We want to minimize any attention to us, or else we might attract negative attention, which will eventually force us to bend reality again.

46: Dene Downs

The Dene are trying to push into Mississippian Labrador, but they simply have two frankly too thin pathways. Andachkhrob has taken a tiny sliver of damage and there's a Dene unit on its doorstep, but it simply isn’t going to happen, at least not yet. Long Swamp has been in the black for a while now, but there are still some Mississipian units in the way, and the Dene lack space to muster enough troops for a decisive push. Slow and steady is really the only approach Thanedelthur can take at this point if she hopes to make any further progress in the war.

Off-screen, Lesotho has managed to retake Malealea and take Mombasa.

47: Indian Ocean Campaign, part 4

Yeah, I know I’m lazy and uncreative when it comes to these particular slide titles, OK? I’m a soon-ish-to-be-historian, and historians are rather infamous for the boring names they give things.

That being said, Malealea and Roma had both fallen to Chola, but the large Cholan fleet in this area seems to have vanished. They still hold the naval edge, mind you, but this lack of ships is a bit disturbing. The Lesothoan Air Force may be more effective than I initially assumed.

Meanwhile, PARG and Bhutan have made peace.

48: Paradvance

Despite Humaitá being bombed into the red, the Paraguayans actually seem to be going on the offensive here, surrounding Newken on 3 sides and dealing a little bit of damage to it. They’re also making good use of their exclaves, the Kulin open borders and their paratroopers’ capabilities to pillage the Marajoaran countryside up in the central Amazon.

49: UN

The UN is once again in session, with Nigeria proposing the enactment of Cultural Heritage Sites, while Germany wants to repeal the motion that made Autocracy the World ideology. Though I want to see that motion repealed myself, it probably won’t happen, given the great number of autocratic regimes on the cylinder.

50: Breakthrough

The Dene have finally managed to capture Long Swamp. They better send reinforcements quickly though, as the Mississippians do have a real chance to retake it.

51: Dzong-Breaker

We skip 2 turns, during which Zanzibar and Mississippi DOWd Bhutan and Lesotho takes Malealea from Chola again.

And this turn, things are looking bleak for Bhutan. Not only has the Trashy Gang been extinguished after the fall of their hometown, but the Bhutanese army itself has been reduced massively, and now, the Punjabis have taken Punakha. The only thing saving Bhutan now are the North-Yuan peacekeepers, who seem to have been joined by a token Tongvan detachment.

Also, Marajoara has DOWd Bhutan too.

52: Greengypt

Here we see Nigerian Egypt. The cities here have good defences and OK populations. However I can’t help but think that Nigeria is slacking off here, what with the civ with most units in this shot being none of those with actual territory in it, but Uzbekistan. Like, seriously, I feel like the list Alberti produced just a few dozen slides ago is already outdated. I can’t imagine Uzbekistan’s military being so low within the top 8 when you can literally find Uzbek peacekeepers and vacationers in every corner of Afro-Eurasia.

53: Siberian War

Dene and more importantly PARG both DOW Northern Yuan. Nothing happened yet, but I’m not really sure who would hold the edge here. My money is on PARG, due to going on the offense and a few North-Yuan cities being on the border due to citadelling, but I don’t expect them to push too far. And let’s not forget the many North-Yuan expeditionaries, peacekeepers and vacationers in Eurasia and America. Being mostly paratroopers, they might try wreaking havoc on PARG’s interior if/when they find a suitable gap.

Meanwhile, Laos peaces out with Kosovo, the Olmec refugees with Burkina Faso, and, most relevantly, the Mississippi with the Dene. Judging from the minimap, Tuscaloosa has also given Slack Farm away in the deal.

54: Amyerikiin Front

Speaking of North-Yuan expeditionaries, here we see NYAPEF gunning at Palux. However, the Dene declaration caused some of them to turn to Dene territory, and a fricking Dene helicopter came to support their city-state ally and fellow native civ Chinook in fighting off the NYAPEF assault. And it does seem to be a NYAPEF-only assault, as Tongva lacks an air force and their cannons seem to be out of range to support the assault on Palux.

Also, I’m told Chola took Malealea from Lesotho again.

55: Soup

I didn’t want to leave this slide’s title as Amazonian Struggle 2 or something, so I decided “tropical rainforests are hot and wet, and soups are hot and wet, so I should just call it soup”.

That aside, despite Ybycuí and Humaitá being in the black, the Marajoarans have no means to attack, let alone seize both. Meanwhile, the Paraguayans have all but surrounded Newken, which is down to the red. Indeed, by the time the turn fully processes, the city will be in Paraguayan hands

56: The Fiery Shores of Lake Baikal

PARG has taken Tsetserleg from Northern Yuan, but overall, there seem to be more North-Yuan forces in pre-war PARG territory than PARG forces in pre-war Northern Yuan territory.

And indeed, by the time the turn fully processes, Tsetserleg will be back in their founders’ hands.

57: Skirmishes in Ukraine

Here on the Kosovar-Soviet border, we see the former only technically being able to brag about having a unit carpet due to all the foreign vacationers and the latter being conspicuously empty. Of what few vacationers there are in USSR, the most visible ones are the Dene, currently fighting the North-Yuan Black-Sea Expeditionary Forces (NYBSEF), who boast large numbers in Kosovo. Although NYBSEF will definitely win against the Dene Russia Expeditionary Force (DREF), both sides are pretty much useless here in any capacity other than population control.

Also, Tongva decided that trying to find and kill all the Olmec refugees just isn’t worth it.

58: Tea

Yes, I’m going with the same joke as soup here, even if the existence of ice tea makes my metaphor hold less water than the soup one... Also, I swear, despite being a lover of puns, that “hold less water” one was unintentional.

Anyway, here we see that Newken had, indeed, fallen, and Tabocas is now in the yellow. The Paraguayan army has taken up a broad front formation up there, but their commitment to the conflict had left their hinterlands full of gaps. These gaps allowed for an interesting reversal of the situation in Europe, as some Kosovar soldiers, after hearing tales of how great and beautiful Paraguay is from the Paraguayan vacationers in Kosovo, decided to see it for themselves, and went for a vacation here.

I imagine the Kosovars here, while disgruntled to discover that there’s a warzone just to the north, are still fascinated by some of the things there, especially the Guaraní-Spanish bilingualism, which must remind them of the Albanian-Serbocroatian bilingualism of their homeland.

59: Indian Ocean Campaign, part 5

Here we see Lesotho sieging their two former cities with helicopters. Classic AI. A Chola fleet is trying something in northeastern Madagascar, and Mokhotlong has a bit of damage, but neither is really noteworthy rn.

Also, Laos and Finland made peace and whatever.

60: Fighting in the Taiga

North-Yuan paratroopers are trying to attack Ikh Khüree, but I don’t think it’s gonna work.

Frankly, I wonder why this is the slide we get of this war this turn, given that Tsetserleg and Yingcheng both flipped back and forth this turn down south.

61: The Main Front

Tsetserleg flips back and forth again. Northern Yuan tries to outflank Avarga. The PARG are doing something near Yingchang. The Byelogvardiyskaya VVS (White Guard Air Force) is bombing many North-Yuan cities into the red.

62: Salmon Hunted

NYAPEF finally manages to capture Palux, eliminating the Chinook at 41st, and so we must press F for a third time this episode.

The Chinook once ruled a somewhat respectable empire in Cascadia and Alaska, and were doing moderately well for themselves. If memory serves right, they briefly played a role in the carve-up of the Three Affiliated Tribes, of which the Dene were the main beneficiary. They then sat there, fishing salmon, occasionally skirmishing non-committedly with equally uncommitted neighbours and developing at a less than adequate speed. It all changed when the Chukchi attacked. They lost the majority of their empire to a combination of the mighty Chukchi Navy and small but advanced Chuckhi land divisions. What was left would be chipped away by a Tongva invasion, the Chukchi UA and possibly a relatively minor attack by at least one of the civs east of the Rockies. Their death, however, came not from any of their American neighbours nor the Chukchi who had brought them so low, but by unfamiliar Mongols who held a weak claim on the Mandate of Heaven. Good bye, salmon people, and hope you enjoy your stay in the sub, Comcomly. F.

Elsewhere, Lesotho has managed to retake Roma.

63: GOLDEN AGE HYPE

We again skip a turn, during which Tsetserleg flipped again and Laos declared war on Yuan. However, we don’t care about that, as we have much more important news to announce this turn:

With so many wars going around to entertain us and me trying my absolute darndest to make even the non-war slides as enjoyable as possible, it’s no wonder that the-for 3-years-now-retired Nebbi and sitting captain Rahman have declared a Golden Age. Partying noises can be heard from throughout the submarine, with various foods and drinks being shared, games played, music listened to, all that jazz.

If one goes to the narration studio, they’ll be able to see me enjoying a large pack of chili-flavoured potato chips, a mayo burger and a cup of milk, while blasting music from the Magia Record game through a bluetooth speaker I borrowed from my cousin.

64: Coffee

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand with that, I’ve officially run out of hot wet metaphor ideas.

Anyway, here we see Paraguay bringing Tabocas down into the red and starting to damage Sanharão. Meanwhile, Mapuche has DOWd Yuan.

65: Standstill

Tsetserleg has flipped once again, and it’s about this time that the reality is finally setting in on me - this is gonna keep staying a sloggy slow war, and will stay at a stalemate for a while now, if not until its very end. Despite PARG’s aerial superiority, the frontline has devolved into a standstill. And not the fun standstill (that being the mapping collab series between Rat of Mapping and Imperial Mapping (highly recommended, despite both of theirs unannounced indefinite hiatuses)), but the kind that is bad for the participants and boring for the observers.

Off-screen, Lesotho has retaken Malealea.

Meanwhile, Taiping and Bhutan had made peace.

66: Battle of the Seychelles

Lesothoan helicopters are moving towards the former Zanzibari cities turned Chola bases in the Seychelles, with Tanga brought down to the red. However, Lesotho is almost certainly not capturing it, as helicopters are ranged and I don’t know if the nearby ship is melee or ranged, but even if it is a melee vessel and captures Tanga, I simply don’t see Lesotho holding it without sending more forces, despite the Chola themselves suffering unit shortages in this region.

Off-screen, Tsetserleg and Roma flip, Malealea is taken by Chola, while on the sidebar, Yuan makes peace with Taiping, ending the existential threat posed to it, while Taiping and Punjab DOW Laos. Wake up Malacca, or you might just end up with yet another powerful rival nextdoor.

67: Gulf of Aden

Here we see the relatively peaceful area around the Gulf of Aden. The only signs to the contrary being the pillaged tiles in Cholan Somalia and the damaged Ptolemaic units. I honestly don’t know if Cleo is still at war with Raja Raja and/or Awolowo. I remember war declarations in previous episodes, but I kinda forgor if there were any peace deals last episode in that regard. Also, I agree with ItsTruckMonth, Karimov is really overzealous with his carpets in foreign lands. If the game gets broken, I know who I’m blaming.

68: Paraguayan Advance

The Paraguayans have taken Tabocas, and though Sanharão has recovered, Subupira has been brought down into the yellow.

69: Indian Ocean Campaign, part 6

Here, we see that Chola has once again taken Roma. I’m not sure how to judge this war, as both sides show no sign of relenting, but also, both sides seem spent.

70: Kulinesia

Off here, we have a nice view of central Kulinesia, with a mixed assortment of cities, ranging from 5-pop Gerarlture Balug to 46-pop Yowung Illam Balluk. Protecting these is a mixed assortment of Kulin units, with ships, embarked land forces, helicopters, vertols, drones, land garrisons and air force wings, as well as visiting privateers from the Mapuche, Germany and Paraguay. We also get a limited glimpse at Malaccanesia, with the smallest city being 10-pop Pagarruyung and the largest being 30-pop Jasin. Protecting it is a mixed assortment of Malaccan units, with ships, embarked land forces, land garrisons and air force wings, supplemented with Dene vacationers and Kulin overflow.

Malacca has also declared war on Paraguay.

71: Death and Destruction

Over here, we see just how much of a toll this slogfest has taken on both side’s numbers, with PARG now seeing an influx of Hawaiian peacekeepers, looking to invoke the legacy of Mk2 Hawaii, which pioneered the practice, while there’s a big gap between the frontline and the main North-Yuan carpet. We also see the full extent of the citadel-bombing Mandukhai had done throughout this and almost certainly previous episode too, turning Kunming and Ningbo into Taiping exclaves enclaved within Northern Yuan. Jesus’ lil’ bro can’t be happy with that. Just off-screen, Tsetserleg has flipped yet again.

72: UN

The UN once again holds a session, and this time, Nigeria is proposing a ban on silk, while Germany wants to embargo the USSR.

73: Subantarctic Squabbling

The Malaccan and Paraguayan navies seem to be fighting relatively near Vengi and Maribyrnong - neither of those a belligerent city. AI.

74: Naval Invasion

A Malaccan fleet is attacking the OG Peru-Bolivian capital of Tacna, but even if they do take it, I can’t see them holding it without committing a sizable land force to the campaign. Even then, Paraguay should be able to at least contain them.

75: The Impenetrable Dzong

Here we see the rump Bhutan. It is suffering from constant air raids by Punjab. However, the Bhutanese stand tall, as no mere air bombardment will make them cow, and the Punjabis can find no way through the mountains and North-Yuan peacekeepers to conquer them entirely. This means that, with how things are right now, the remnants of Bhutan stand as an impenetrable fortress, or as the Bhutanese themselves might call it, unbreachable dzong. Also notice the Punjabis making their way through Chola territory to attack Laos, as the only accessible direct path into Laos is occupied by Bhutanese refugees.

76: PARG Advance

PARG captures Choir. The city doesn’t look exactly secure though.

77: Solano’s Zenith

Subupira has been captured by Paraguay. Congratulations, Solano Lopez! You had just achieved your civ’s territorial apex, for this royale at least!

It’s at this point I got a confession to make. Although all of us at the aforementioned groupchat, including the guy who raised the idea in the first place, rejected it, there was an idea floated around to perhaps cut this episode in two. Such a scenario might be nice for Paraguay supporters, but would be bad for the people on the CBRX Stonk Exchange.

I hope you guys enjoyed Paraguay’s rise in this episode, as it’s all downhill for Lopez from here.

78: Capital Collection Increased

And what better way to unknowingly kick off Solano’s descent downhill than with the Azure Fleet taking Tacna, the OG Peru-Bolivian capital, from him. Rule, Malacca, rule the waves.

Off screen, Moshoeshoe has retaken Roma.

79: Nigeria

Here we see the western bit of Nigeria’s core in all its glory, with healthy cities and strong defenses. They are suffering from other armies’ overflow, but not to quite the same extent as some other civs.

The reason I said overflow instead of vacationers is because the North-Yuan and Dene paratroopers, having heard of their homelands’ war with each-other, decided to prevent each-other from enjoying their vacations. I’m giving Northern Yuan the advantage here, due to their numerical edge.

Probably the real reason we’re being shown this slide is the Orbital Refinery wonder built in Onitsha.

Off screen, Raja Raja retook Roma, while Mandukhai retook Choir.

80: Yeah, This is Big Brain Time

Boethius has compiled a list of the most literate people, ie. the civs with most science. Predictably, Awolowo is in the lead, but somewhat surprisingly, the gap between him and 2nd-place Mansur Shar is really slim, albeit not as slim as literally any other single-spot gap visible on screen. We have William Barak at 3rd, Islam Karimov at 4th, Antonio Canales Rosillo (to my surprise) 5th, and a shared 6th between Lawtiliwadlin, Vladimir Lenin and Ranjit Singh. I honestly thought Lenin would be higher.

81: Eastern Steppe War Yadda-Yadda Whatever

Yingchang has fallen to PARG, but don’t worry, it’ll flip back to Northern Yuan by turn’s end.

82: Preparation

In preparation for their upcoming grand offensive, dubbed Operation Pajelanca’s Wrath, Marajoara is doing vicious air runs and artillery strikes at Paraguayan frontline cities.

Palmares also gave up on going after the Olmec refugees.

83: Cascadia

North-Yuan Cascadia is pressured by Dene air raids and helicopters, and, weirdly enough, a Chinook refugee line infantry still taking potshots at Palux.

Burkina Faso peaces out with Spain, while Chola peaces out with Rio Grande and USSR.

84: Pajelanca’s Wrath

We skip two turns, during which Newken flipped, Morija fell to Chola, Zanzibar peaced out with Bhutan and Paraguay peaced out with Punjab and Laos.

The Newken notification from turn 602 informs us that the probing phase of Operation Pajelanca’s Wrath has begun, and we indeed see that again here on this slide, with Subupira retaken by the Marajoarans.

85: The Laotian War Theatre

Here, we see the Punjabi paratroopers wreaking havoc on the Laotian defenses, thinning out the Laotian army in the countryside. The capital, Viang Chan itself, has been brought to the black, likely by the Punjabi Air Force, but even with the decisive tech edge, I don’t think Punjab would be taking it without making more space for more units to drop in or otherwise arrive. Chola and Bhutan aren’t exactly co-operating, however.

In case anyone is wondering, Kolchak has taken Choir again and Mokhotlong had flipped, while Burkina Faso, Tongva, Bhutan, Northern Yuan and Kosovo declare war on Zanzibar.

86: Pajelanca’s Wrath

The first permanent Marajoaran gain of the operation is, in a surprising turn of events, the Paraguayan Andean mountain-resort/outpost of Lambaré. The combination of border-gore, mountains and peacekeepers should’ve left the city nigh-invulnerable, but now it’s the first city Paraguay had before the war that it had lost to Marajoara.

87: Northern Offensive

The White Guards are putting pressure on the current North-Yuan capital at Ordos, but even if they do capture it, I can’t see them holding it. Just south of this shot, Tsetserleg flips.

88: Malgasy Campaign

The Chola have managed to thin out the Lesothoan carpet on Madagascar, and though this screenshot shows Mokhotlong in Chola hands, the city is gonna flip back by turn’s end.

89: Pajelanca’s Wrath

We skipped a turn, during which Paraguay managed to retake Subupira - a last hurrah before things start, both metaphorically and literally, going south.

Indeed, this turn, Marajoara’s Eastern Front has captured Tabocas, partly as a measure to further their own advances, partly to pin down enough Paraguayan forces into the Amazon and Brazilian Highlands to give their comrades on the Andean front the chance to strike.

90: Back to the beginning

Two Sicilies has retaken Teramo from Germans, and the latter have no way of retaking it due to all the North-Yuan and Ptolemaic peacekeepers. Now holding all their pre-war cities + Alessia, Two Sicilies is technically winning the war against Germany. Indeed, even the air war situation seems to have turned in their favour - Naples, Bari and Campobasso have all healed, while Palermo and Gjakovë are now in the red. Not sure why one of the Vandal ships is damaged though - the Vandals aren’t at war with either of this war’s belligerents.

91: UN

UN has another session, with Nigeria pushing for an International Asteroid Mining Conference, while Germany wants the embargo on itself be repealed.

92: Notification Error

OK, so, it seems like Coiot couldn’t get the turn 608 notifications due to the game reloading, meaning he couldn’t send those to me, so I will just mention the things I can actually see in the screenshots for this turn.

Anyway, PARG captures Ordos. I’m still in doubt over whether they can keep it though.

93: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Over in IRL Bolivia, Marajoara forces capture San Lorenzo. Marajoara’s revenge is going further.

Meanwhile, Yuan peaced out with Laos.

94: Nice Defence

Zanzibar seems to have taken some damage, either from air or naval raids, in either case by the Chola. On a nice note, Zanzibar’s city defense level is 69. Nice.

95: C A R P E T T I N G I N T E N S I F I E S

Despite the PARG war forming quite a few gaps, Northern Yuan still boasts an impressive, largely intact carpet.

96: Progress

Punjab manages to capture Thakhek, but it will flip back later this turn.

97: Lesothoan Counterpush

In a single turn, Lesotho retakes Mokhotlong, Roma and Malealea, and Morija is due to fall later this turn.

Yuan and the Mapuche make peace.

98: The Boring Front

Northern Yuan and PARG are still fighting here, or something along those lines. Both sides have gaps in their territory, and the Hawaiian peacekeepers seem to have withdrawn deeper into PARG territory and also splintered into smaller units. Avarga and Karakorum remain undamaged, while PARG seems unable to mount a serious offensive into North-Yuan territory.

Meanwhile, Chola has retaken Roma and Malealea. Zanzibar makes peace with Tongva and Northern Yuan, while Bhutan makes peace with Zanzibar and Marajoara.

99: S P A C E M I N I N G

The Asteroid Mining Project has been completed, with Nigeria the big winner. Other winners include, but almost certainly aren’t limited to: the Kulin, the Chukchi, Marajoara, USSR, PARG, Rio Grande, Uzbekistan and Punjab.

In the background, we see Bhutan make peace with Mississippi, while Uzbekistan and Spain declare war on Zanzibar.

100: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Marajoara captures Newken, but it will flip by turn’s end.

Off screen, Moshoeshoe retakes Roma.

101: Pillaging Galore

The full damage of the war becomes very visible here, as we see just how much damage PARG and Northern Yuan left on the land. Despite the fact that Northern Yuan lost a city and had another one flip back and forth throughout the war, I still gotta give them props for defending this well against an opponent who is unchallenged in the air. All of this pillaging and bombardment has reduced the population of most cities in shot, and what few haven’t experienced a population decline have probably had their growth at least slowed down considerably. If I was forced to choose between being a citizen of any of the cities in this shot or being a member of any of the units in shot, I’d choose to be that Hawaiian guy over there.

Elsewhere, Chola takes Roma, while Perm peaces out with Northern Yuan.

102: Zanzibari Oman

Al Jumum is under threat here. Uzbekistan has begun an assault on Zanzibar’s only gain from the Cholan War. However, the only units being sent in for now are vertols, an upgrade of helicopter gunships, and thus useless at taking cities.

Elsewhere Tsetserleg flips and Lesotho captures Roma and Malealea.

103: A Glance at Indochina

We skip 2 turns, during which Chola captured Malealea, Roma and Mokhotlong, PARG captured Ordos and Malacca built the Mnemosyne Facility in Hai Phòng, the last of which gives as an excuse to focus on Malaccan Indochina on this slide.

The cities have decent to large populations and very strong defenses. The Great Azure Fleet™ is ruling the waves, as is to be expected. The Malaccan land army is decent if small, and is supplemented by mostly Dene and Kulin contractors. All that is supported by an air force that, while I would merely call it OK, is nevertheless the dominant air force in the region.

Also in shot, we see Punjab continuing its invasion of Laos. They only have one melee unit here, but their small expedition has crushed most of the Laotian army and the Punjabi Air Force has brought all Laotian cities into the red. Fa Ngum’s best defenses now come not from his own troops or the terrain, but Dene peacekeepers, which I’ll assume have been invited on the king’s personal request.

104: Southern Push

In retaliation for the fall of Ordos, Northern Yuan has started a large-scale offensive in the southern sector, with the primary goal of capturing and securing Avarga. TBH, despite this battle being one of infantry and artillery against tanks and planes, I actually like the North-Yuan chances here.

Meanwhile, Yuan and Zanzibar make peace.

105: Omani War

Over in Oman, Uzbekistan continues to damage but fails to capture Al Jumum. One vertol can’t capture a city, Karimov. Heck, the Uzbek army tripping over itself even gave enough space for the Kosovar paratrooper to move in and partially block the land approach.

Meanwhile, Marajoara has built Skynet in Aleria.

106: Swahili Coast Front

Chola has launched a serious offensive in the Swahili Coast area, damaging a few cities and sending a large task force to retake Zanzibar. Now, if only they could reposition those melee ships slightly north.

Off screen, Northern Yuan retook Ordos.

107: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Subupira, Ybycuí and Newken are all in the black. Marajoara is in position to capture any of them.

108: Punjabi Push

The Punjabis capture Thakhek. Next stop - Viang Chan.

109: Yin and Yang

PARG captures Tsetserleg, but, just as I predicted, Northern Yuan has taken Avarga.

Two Sicilies declares war on Perm.

110: UN

UN has another session, in which Nigeria wants to embargo Punjab, while Germany wants to ban citrus. I would make a joke about the yuri manga Citrus, but it’s overall meh-ness means that it doesn’t warrant even belittling jokes, let alone any other ones.

(Jeez BV, that’s gotta be one of the worst roasts ever. Was it even a roast?)

111: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Marajoara captures Newken and continues battering other Paraguayan cities.

Northern Yuan retakes Tsetserleg.

Mapuche DOWs Perm.

112: Northern Wastes

PARG continues trying to push for Ordos, but we all know that any gain there is gonna be temporary. Meanwhile, North-Yuan paratroopers are pillaging the Ulanhad countryside.

Punjab has been embargoed, while lowercase-c citrus has been banned. If it had been uppercase-c Citrus instead, I hope it was because of the meh-ness and not the yuri, because if it was the latter, that’d set a dangerous precedent that me and other yuri weebs wouldn’t like. Like, at all. And yes, I did put the lowercase-c and uppercase-c in words in anticipation of an eventual audio-narration, whenever it comes.

113: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Marajoara has taken both Ybycui and Subupira. There’s a large gap between Newken and Humaitá within the Paraguayan lines. This gap is already being exploited by the Marajoarans. This is the wound through which Paraguay has been breached.

Also, Kosovo peaces out with Perm.

Also also, Lesotho has retaken Mokhotlong.

114: Madagascar Front

Chola has taken Morija, but it will lose it again by turn’s end. However, it would compensate for that with Zanzibar.

115: Mississippian Remnant

Here, we at long last see the consequences of the peace treaty between the Dene and the Mississippi. Mississippi is now a 3-city rump, with only one of those cities, Bottle Creak, up in the far Arctic, being the only one originally founded by them. They’re also much more exposed in case of another war, as many of the Paraguayan peacekeepers and Anangu refugees have been booted out with the peace, and those who stayed are now mostly turned in the Vandal direction.

In contrast, over the past few episodes, the Dene have truly established themselves as a premier power of North America. They have utterly crippled an already weakened Mississippi, a former frontrunner, and have had a vicious nuclear exchange with Rio Grande, taking multiple cities and containing a major rival, and would’ve probably pushed further if it weren’t for the Riograndese defense bug, which is also the only reason why Rio Grande is still ranked above Dene, if you ask me. They’re fighting the newly formed North-Yuan domains in Cascadia, and would’ve crushed them if it weren’t for all the peacekeepers and mountains. If they put their mind to it and if the Uzbeks got out, they could probably steal all of Chukchi’s inland Alaskan cities. And to think that all the way back during episode 1, we thought they’ll be screwed over by a TAT forward settle. This is how far the Dene had come.

Meanwhile, Marajoara has taken Humaitá.

116: CAPITALN’T

Two capitals have fallen this turn, and here we already see what the first one is. Punjab has taken the Laotian capital of Viang Chan. Fa Ngum better hope that the Punjabis never find a way to Sài Gòn, or else he’ll be Sài Gone.

117: Pajelanca’s Wrath

I can already hear the sounds of Marajoara fans cheering and Paraguayan fans crying. As a Malacca fan who likes both of those civs, I have no idea how to feel. Anyway, the image says it all. Marajoaran Armed Forces have triumphantly entered the Paraguayan capital, Asunción, itself. The Paraguayan frontline has utterly collapsed, and the army is now split into multiple ad-hoc defensive lines and positions and small, doomed counterattacks.

Off in the side bar, we see that Chola and Lesotho have made peace. From the minimap, Lesotho kept all of Madagascar and their mainland-African conquests, but, as we’ll see on a later slide, Chola kept Zanzibar. I’m not sure who got to keep Malealea and Roma, as the city dots for both civs look the same on the minimap and we won’t have a slide later to confirm for them, but I think it’s safe to assume that Chola received those in the end, ultimately making the war rather balanced in the end.

118: Italy

If anyone here is coming from Dynasty, they’d know I love `reversal`s, and a good example of that is the latest Sicilian-German war. It started off with Germany taking Teramo and bombing all of Two Sicilies’ Italian cities into the yellow, red and black, and now we have not just Teramo back in Sicilian hands, but also Alesia in their hands, all the Sicilian cities at full-health and Germany’s Adriatic cities bombed into the red. This is made additionally weird by the fact that Germany holds the air superiority here, with 33 planes in this shot, compared to Two Sicilies’ 6. All around a shameful display for Europe’s top dog.

Off in the sidebar, Laos manages to hold onto life by peacing out with Punjab, while Lesotho and Chola celebrate their new peace by DOWing Bhutan together.

119: The Now Calm Sea

Here we indeed see confirmation that Zanzibar did end up in Cholan hands at the end of the Cholan-Lesothoan War. The now once again peaceful Lesothoan and Cholan waters have now become a vacation spot for Uzbeks, North-Yuan folk and even Malaccans.

120: Mongol Cascadia

Northern Yuan’s possessions in Cascadia have been all but secured by now. Palux has fully healed, while all approaches to Clatsop have been blocked by Riograndese and Kulin forces, and, as far as I know, Dene doesn’t have open borders with Tongva.

Bhutan, meanwhile, made peace with Punjab, giving Samtse off in the peace deal.

Meanwhile, Lenin has built the Pholus Mutagen in Moscow, which immediately reminds me of the Boers of Mk2 fame. Too bad that the USSR is nowhere near the power that the Ryk was. Or maybe it’s good that it isn’t.

Off screen, Ñemby falls to Marajoara, while Avarga flips.

121: Bigger Stickier Syndrome

Boethius makes another list of people with pointiest sticks, that is, biggest baddest armies.

Kulin still has the biggest stick, over double the size of 6th-place USSR. USSR’s stick is a bit bigger than Vandals’ stick. Malacca’s stick is a bit bigger than USSR’s, while Nigeria’s and Marajoara’s sticks are roughly similar, both a bit bigger than Malacca’s. Rio Grande’s stick is a bit larger than that, but it’s still a lot smaller than Kulin’s. Somehow, Uzbekistan’s stick is only a similar size to that of the Vandals. This can’t be right. Given how many Uzbek vacationers we see running around the cylinder, I would assume them to have one of the largest sticks. What kinda stuff is Boethius on, because I want me some of that?

122: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Marajoaran forces have seized Dambrapanga, and the Paraguayan army has all but collapsed. All but one of the remaining Paraguayan cities on screen have sustained varying degrees of damage. Marajoara has won. The only question that remains to be answered is - how much?

123: Flip-Flop

Kolchak has entered the future era, and he celebrates by taking Avarga. Too bad that he’s gonna lose it by turn’s end. Also, Georgia and Hawaii DOW Laos.

124: The Dzong-City-State

Welcome to the newest member of the city-state club, Bhutan, with its capital Thimphu still in its hands. Though the North-Yuan peacekeepers left a gap next to the city, the peace with Punjab means that the city is not under immediate threat of capture.

125: On the Outskirds

Here we see that the PARG-North-Yuan frontline has stalled. Mandukhai seems determined to retake her original capital, Karakorum.

Off in the sidebar, Zanzibar and Burkina Faso made peace.

Off screen, the Marajoarans have taken Andalaquituxe.

126: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Marajoaran Armed Forces have descended on the remaining Paraguayan cities like a tidal wave. Encarnación has already fallen, and though it will flip back by turn’s end, it would just be a temporary hiccup in what would otherwise be a ruthless evisceration.

Also this turn, Mansur Shah made peace with Solano Lopez. We’ll take a closer look at this at a later slide.

127: Coming Home

Mandukhai enters the information era, and she celebrates by retaking her original capital and immediately taking residence in the ruined remnants of her old palace.

Off screen, Marajoara captures Encarnación and Luque

128: Malaccantarctica

Here we see the formerly Paraguayan Antarctic and Falkland settlements of Fernando de la Mora and Capiatá, that had been given over to Malacca in the recent peace deal.

129: How?

Sanctuary_Guardian.mp3 plays

Some way or another, the Chola managed to convince Punjab to let them through and found a gap in the North-Yuan peacekeeper formation to capture Thimphu, eliminating Bhutan at 40th.

Bhutan was never a serious contender nor the most entertaining participant of the Battle Royale. They expanded very little beyond their original homeland and were boxed in by stronger neighbours. Nevertheless, in the early days of the Royale, I remember them managing to repel a Punjabi invasion, despite being probably outnumbered and certainly outteched. They contended with Chola for Bengal for a while, until eventually, inevitably, losing that contest. Their northern ambitions were taken away due to Taiping and Uzbek conquests. However, they managed to keep in the mountains, and the stout, several-episodes-long resistance of Trashigang, while one of the generally-considered more boring episodes of the royale, did inspire one of its greatest narrative memes. It wasn’t until Punjab once again came for them, this time with a more decisive tech edge, that Bhutan was finally brought to its knees. Thanks to Northern Yuan’s peacekeepers, the Bhutanese were able to weather the Punjabi storm, but then Chola came in and took what was left. Although some, including one of the Power Rankers may call me crazy for it, I actually did legit find Bhutan to be endearing. Perhaps not Tibet-levels-of-endearing, but still. The thunder dragon has been laid to rest, while Wangchuk has been taken upon a submarine. F.

Also, PARG and Northern Yuan made peace.

130: Pajelanca’s Wrath

Marajoaran forces have taken Zumbi, but, in an unexpected if admirably valiant turn of events, the Paraguayans managed to retake Luque. It’s not gonna last, but still, good on them. They get to not just stay alive, but also out of the city-state club for this episode.

Despite the recent defeat against Kulin, this war has solidified Marajoara as the premier power of South America. If they take out the Mapuche and kick the Vandals down a notch without anyone (relevant) interfering after wiping off Paraguay, they might eventually get to have their revenge on Kulin. If they do, I hope Malacca capitalizes.

131: UN

The UN holds a session, with Nigeria proposing a ban on incense, and Germany a ban on flint.

132: Something, apparently

Here we have a look of IRL West-Central China.

Punjab’s piece here is fairly empty. Malacca’s has about as much if not more foreign troops than Malaccan. Taiping’s, Northern Yuan’s and Uzbekistan’s pieces look about as we’d expect, carpeted mostly with their own forces with only a few vacationers filling in the gaps.

We also get a little peek at Gelephu’s religious makeup, with 13 Vajrayana, 6 Shinto, 3 Sikh and 2 other pops.

133: Peace Again

Here we see that PARG has gained Tsetserleg as part of the peace deal.

Overall, I’d call this war a pyrrhic victory for Mandukhai, as, despite both sides gaining 2 cities each from each-other, Mandukhai has retaken her capital from Kolchak, and, as we all know, the CBR is a game of capitals.

134: Icy Waters

Here we have a shot of the Chukchi core. Our frosty friends rule the seas in these region, but on land it’s a different tale - most of the land here is occupied by various foreign vacationers - Uzbeks, Kulins and Georgians, as well as a single Kurd - and exiles, namely the Neutral warrior on that Alaskan island.

135: Episode Close

And for our last slide, we get a nice image of eastern Indochina and the South China sea.

And with that, we end episode 18.

Several wars, 4 eliminations, a little itty bit of narrative added - one loves to see it.

This was my first time narrating, so I tried my best to keep it informative, interesting and entertaining, and I hope I’ve managed to balance it all just well enough for you to find the narration even slightly enjoyable.

Thank you to Coiot for providing all slides and info and the CBRX itself, and for giving me the opportunity to narrate, thank you to the donators again for keeping this project going, and thank you all for reading this.

I’m gonna go ahead and assume Dawkinzz is gonna resume audio-narrations someday, and tell you to subscribe to him on YouTube, especially if you’re consuming this episode in audio-form.

Thank you once again for reading, and I’ll see you around. Ćao.

Episode 18: Crashing Waves and Grinding Soils – S2

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