Civ Battle Royale February 24, 2021
HillSpawn
31
The Cylinder is engulfed in Ancient Era conflicts as civilizations continue to establish themselves and expand their border, and it’s all recorded here in Room B5 (next to the Supply Closet), in the annals of the Babylonian Chronicle.
Welcome back to the CivBattleRoyaleX Season 2! I’m your host, HillSpawn, the sub’s resident medievalist-linguist, here to narrate the course of the first-action packed wars of the Cylinder for you. The regional balances of power are still in flux, so I promise it will be an episode full of twists and turns!...but before we get to that, we should get through the best community content from the past two weeks.
This week’s Intro OC comes from /u/Dawkinzz, though credit for its creation has to be given to the folks over on the #stonk-chat on the Discord server, who have been memeing $JAM to the Moon! Even if rastanauts don’t achieve touchdown, they’ve got the community fired up and having fun.
Thank you to all donors for keeping this project afloat. Without donations from the community through monthly donations on Patreon and one-time donations on Ko-Fi, the CivBattleRoyale would not run as it does, with server fees and CDN costs to cover. Thanks to everyone who chips in! Remember, there are incentives to donors, from the private channels on the Discord, the flairs, the ability to request screenshots or insert lines of in-character narration into past albums, and now Reon will be giving donors a biweekly balance bonus on the Stock Exchange.
A joy to behold is /u/deadsharkscantswim’s “CBRX Tripmap” of episode one, which makes my jaw drop. The level of detail on this map, from labeled cities to the religions is superb, I could stare at this for at least half an hour! It’s also really cool to see the Cylinder mapped according to real-world geography.
Remember that every week’s episode has two map-slots to display, so if you fancy yourself an amateur cartographer, it is highly encouraged you share your work on the subreddit, and who knows you might find it in the next episode!
Thomas Sankara’s Burkina Faso stands upright above the competition, advancing with giant steps to head the Power Rankings for Episode 1! With five cities settled in the first thirty turns and regional rivals off to slow starts, Burkina Faso is in a prime position to become the West African powerhouse of the early game.
In room B5 in the bowels of the RSV Babylonian Observer sits Professor Hillbert U. Spawnov. All available surfaces from the floor to the bookshelves that don’t require a ladder to reach are strewn with papers - reports from the multitude of Babylonian operatives active in the Cylinder’s civilizations. Professor Spawnov, a member of the academic wing of the submarine’s intelligence services known as the “Babylon Five” is compiling a compendium of the Cylinder’s events from the year 2800 BC to 1600 BC, based on the intelligence reports delivered to him. This is the Babylonian Chronicle.
2800 BC, Mukden: In this year Kublai Khan’s armies laid waste to the countryside around Mukden. Nurhaci had ordered the construction of walls around the capital before the Yuan invasion, and the Yuan armies could not assail the city’s walls. Reinforcements were slow to arrive from Hettu Ala, but trade with the Japanese at Osaka brought supplies into the besieged city.
2800 BC, Viang Chan: The war in the jungles of Indochina claimed many lives but Hà Nội and Sài Gòn remained untouched by Laotian forces. Fa Ngum kept his Uparaja and their war elephants in the capital and publicly berated them for their failure to take either of the Vietnamese cities. While the war raged on, Bhutan settled at the source of the Irrawaddy River to their north, and the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom settled Yong’an in the Pearl River delta. King Fa Ngum blamed his generals, his generals blamed the jungles and the Vietnamese guerrilla tactics, and in Hà Nội it was said that Ho Chi Minh chuckled into his beard.
2800 BC, Bogotá: The forward forces of the hateful Paraguayan regime lay dead in the jungles around Bogotá, and there was much rejoicing in the city’s streets as El Libertador organized parades in honour of his brave soldiers. Simón Bolívar proclaimed that the scouts of the war-hungry madman Solano López had been routed in stunning victories, but his ministers and generals remained uneasy. El Libertador’s eagerness to fight an enemy across the continent was costing them valuable time in establishing Gran Colombia’s rule over the unclaimed lands around them.
2760 BC, Helsinki: The first dead of the spring were ceremonially buried in the bogs surrounding Helsinki, in accordance with the tenets of the new Lutheran faith. Dressed in their finest clothes and jewelry, the bodies were weighed down with stones and sunk into bogholes. Baron Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim ordered the fertile lands of the Karelian Isthmus to be farmed. Swedish scouts in Lapland were treated with suspicion, and rumours that Karl XII was planning to establish a town across the Gulf of Bothnia from Viipuri convinced the Finns to expand their standing army.
2760 BC, Naukratis: In this year the garrison of Naukratis spotted Vandal ships sailing along the Libyan coast towards Memphis. Queen Tin Hinan and King Genseric mustered their armies in the foothills of the Atlas Mountains between Aghat and Hippo Regius, but neither dared declare war on the other. Pharaoh Cleopatra sent workers to build cattle pens in Naukratis, but neglected to send more soldiers to defend the city.
2720 BC, Moundville: A great multitude of men and women came to the plains of Moundville, compelled to look for their mounds, and found none. They decided to seek the hills east of the Rockies, to build their mounds and barrows in.2720 BC, Kuruvunga: After following the Colorado River from Puvunga into the Mojave Desert, the Tongva founded Kuruvunga in the desert, as it was from these dry lands Toypurina first led them to the Californian coast.
2720 BC, Córdoba: In this year the citizens of Córdoba experienced strange dreams and visions of a vast empire centered on their city, led by a demigod called Caliph. King Carlos III ordered a company of warriors into the city to keep the peace and watch for the rise of pretenders to the throne. The Vandal settlement of Cartenna on the Mediterranean shore of Iberia, accompanied by Alani Horsemen struck fear into the Spanish hearts.
Seated on his command-throne aboard the RSV Babylonian Observer, Admiral Caliph Abd-ar Rahman III was amused at the reappearance of his former capital on the Cylinder, though wished the Spanish had known to settle it in its rightful location.
2720 BC, Saratov: Travelers claiming to be from Heaven wintered on the outskirts of Saratov. They exchanged fine fabrics for furs, and told stories from their homeland, ruled over by the divine king Hung Hsiu-Ch’üan, brother of their god Yeh-Sŭ Jih-Dŭ. The All-Russian Okhrana interrogated those townspeople known to have spoken to the foreigners, and the town-reeve placed heavy penalties on the act of repeating their accounts. The travelers from the East were escorted away from the town by an All-Russian military retinue, encouraging them to travel far and wide before coming back to Saratov.
2680 BC, Gergovia: In this year the treacherous king Ferdinand I of the Two Sicilies and Emperor Wilhelm II of Germany declared war on Vercingetorix. German troops were spotted by workers outside Gergovia, and word was immediately sent to Nemossos, where a Gallic garrison was preparing to escort a group of settlers into unclaimed territory. It was claimed that on a clear night the light from the Great Lighthouse of Caerdydd could be seen across the Welsh Channel in Gergovia. Some of the townspeople chose to move away from the town in fear of war, settling south in the new city of Alesia, believing that the Sicilians were less of a threat than the Germans.2680 BC, Somba K’e: Also in this year Thanadelthur and her Sacred Drummers established the Inkoze faith as the Dene religion, and there was much rejoicing.
2680 BC, Pagytkenay: At this time trade between Japan and the Chukchi was plentiful, with cargo ships sailing in both directions. Lawtiliwadlin had learned of the Japanese settlement of Osaka to the southwest, and decided that the Chukchi should settle south onto the islands between Japan and the Chukotka Peninsula. The Japanese sailors said that they had found land to the East, and the Chukchi laughed, because they had already found that land and called it Alyaska. The Japanese sailors also said that their dear leader Kaku-san had decided that they would settle another city on the continent, across from Karafuto island. This news was brought to Kagyrgyn, where Lawtiliwadlin did not laugh, but considered it sternly.
2680 BC, Prizreni: Prizreni grew to surpass Pristina in size, and travelers came from such distant lands that the townspeople dubbed Prizreni “the city of the world’s desire”. Across the Bosphorus the Kosovar settlement of Gjilani in Anatolia was slowly developing with the rest of the realm. The plains north of the Black Sea were yet unclaimed, and Ibrahim Rugova and his council considered the opportunity for Kosovo to expand out from the Balkans, and equipped more settlers.
2680 BC, Asunción: In this year there was fighting on the outskirts of the city boundaries between the brave soldiers of Paraguay and the vastly outnumbered Gran Colombians. Solano López mocked his enemies, he mocked the fraud El Libertador for thinking he could defeat the glorious nation of Paraguay with such few troops. He mocked the foolish Andrés de Santa Cruz for establishing La Paz in the heart of the Atacama Desert, a place so dry the air turned to dust. He mocked Zumbi for sending dancers to fight him in the place of soldiers, and he mocked Lautaro for thinking he could command his people to found the city of Koz Koz so near to his borders and not prepare for war. His Excellency Field Marshal’s vicious laughter rang out across South America, putting the enemies of Paraguay to shame.
2640 BC, Malindi: Somali armies marched onto Zanzibarian soil, delivering a declaration of war to Sultan Barghash bin Said from Mohammed Siad Barre. The defenders of Malindi were greatly outnumbered, and the defense was in disarray, for the greatest commander of Zanzibar was in Stone Town with the Sultan, far from the front. The Somali forces were accompanied by workers and settlers, and when news of this reached the Sultan, he grew concerned over the expansionism of their closest neighbour.
2640 BC, Mutitjulu: The Anangu refined the tenets of the Tjukurpa faith, emphasizing defense of the cities of the faithful, laying out priorities for assisting wounded soldiers and increasing the strength of a city’s own defenses.
2640 BC, Andalaquituxe: Great armies of Capoeiristas advanced through the jungles towards Piribebuy. The defenders of the city were outnumbered, but able to inflict heavy losses on the Palmarean forces. Traders coming from the north shared stories from the faraway Olmecs, who in their capital had recently finished a great shrine consisting of stone pillars carved with all sorts of people and animals, the finest craftsmanship the traders claimed to have ever seen. In the capital there was talk of the possibility of the Palmareans undertaking such a great construction themselves, once the war with Paraguay was over.
2600 BC, Mecca: Sharif Hussein bin Ali gathered his armies and commanded them to march forth and wage war against the crusaders, for if the Jerusalemites held their city to be so holy, it must certainly prove valuable to Hejaz as well. He also ordered a smaller group of his soldiers to venture across the desert and find another location suitable for settlement and to found a city there. In the hills around Jerusalem it became evident that taking the city would be no simple feat, for the defenders had an army just as large and well prepared as the attackers, and Sharif Hussein wished that he only had friends from afar to guide his armies through the gates of Jerusalem.
2560 BC, Pape’ete: Tahitian sailors had learned to stick to shallower waters, for on the wide open oceans their ships often got lost, and many feared to end up like the poor souls who had sailed away to settle Fa’a’a, so far from Queen Purea’s enlightened rule. So the next settlers sailed due west, avoiding the deep blue sea, to settle on an island closer to their dear Queen.
2560 BC, Ouagadougou: There can be no faith without community, and no communal faith without communal space, so in Ouagadougou the standing stones of Stonehenge were constructed and arranged in harmony with the sky and the seasons. Already the people of Burkina Faso felt a new kind of zeal joining their zeal for world revolution.
2560 BC, Thimphu: The mountains resounded with the sound of jubilation as the Dragon King proclaimed the tenets of Vajrayana Buddhism to be the guiding principles of Bhutan.
2560 BC, Windhoek: Jacob Morenga, recognizing the threat posed by the continued territorial expansionism of King Moshoeshoe I, declared war on Lesotho. Squeezed between Zaire and Lesotho, he saw that warfare was the only way to secure the future of his homeland. Namibian armies advanced towards Butha-Buthe and Maseru under the command of their generals. Lesotho’s forces were outnumbered and out of position, as the kingdom had been preparing to expand north with another settlement. The Namibian armies found the cities undefended, and Jacob Morenga believed that soon he might control all of the Kalahari Desert.
2560 BC, Lagos: Also in this year, seeing the lands of his neighbour empty and his borders too near, Awolowo gathered his forces and invaded Burkina Faso. The Giant of Africa reached out to seize Banfora and Ouahigouya for itself. It is said that Thomas Sankara, who had believed Nigeria to pose no threat to the Burkinabe revolution, was so caught off guard by the declaration of war that he spent the following week at Stonehenge, searching for solutions and solace from the spirit world and found none. At the same time the Nigerian troops advanced, camping in sacred groves warmed and guided by council fires, confident in the knowledge that their war was in-line with their Itan faith.
2560 BC, Nemossos: The German war against the Gauls had turned swiftly in Vercingetorix’s favour. In Nemossos the garrison laughed at how pitiful the German armies sent to invade had been, and though some still menaced Gergovia, they could not possibly take the city. So emboldened were the Gauls by the weakness of their foe that they had decided that now that Kaiser Wilhelm II had sent his armies to die against bold Gallic defenders, it was time to settle more lands to the east. With a small retinue and supported by patrolling scouts the settlers found no enemies, no resistance in the dense Teutoburg Forests. Only later would the Gauls discover the consequences of their folly!
2560 BC, Mogadishu: The great Somali army, intended to conquer Zanzibar, had not in the years since the war broke out made significant progress. Some skirmishes were had, where the outnumbered Zanzibarian armies fought like the lions of the Maasai steppe. Some of the Somali forces had been sent to Hargeysa, to watch the shores for a surprise attack from Hejaz across the Gulf of Aden. President Barre refused all envoys and ambassadors from Zanzibar, believing in the strength of his armies to take Malindi, but they milled about leaderless.
2560 BC, Namangan: In Uzbekistan Islam Karimov, feeling that the city of Namangan was backwards and boring, ordered a member from each family to devote their lives to becoming Shashmaqam musicians. Many died destitute, but their songs continue to bring joy to the city of Namangan.
2560 BC, Madrid: In this year, after King Carlos III forgot about his son Ferdinand’s birthday, he received a Sicilian ambassador, who informed him that Ferdinand I had formally broken off relations with his father and declared war on Spain. Before he had time to recover from the shock, King Carlos III was visited by a Welsh ambassador, who declared that King Llywelyn would be joining the war in support of Ferdinand in an effort to dethrone the King of Spain, as well as to seize the Gascon territory rightfully belonging to Wales.
2520 BC, Behchoko: Thanadelthur led the Dene into war against the Three Affiliated Tribes, her armies poised to attack Seepoosha. Across the mountains from Seepoosha, able-bodied soldiers armed themselves and companies of horse archers were mobilized, ready to defend Behchoko from counter-attacks with Four Bears might mount, or to join in on the offensive. While the rest of the North American civilizations watched the first war unfolding in the northern reaches of their continent, they thought up schemes of how to exploit this conflict - which of the two sides would come out more weakened, unable to resist a second attack? Which lands would now go uncontested as the combatant’s focus was on warfare rather than the settling of new lands.
2520 BC, Ouahigouya: In this year the underhanded Nigerians attacked the city of Ouahigouya by sea and land. Through the dense jungles they came in droves, and the Burkinabe armies, divided in defending two cities, could not stop their assault. Nigerian triremes attacked the city by sea. News from Banfora was even more alarming, with refugees streaming into Ouagadougou, the city reportedly half burnt to the ground. Thomas Sankara sent out all the armies he could from the capital, but so much time and so many resources had been spent on the construction of Stonehenge that there were not sufficient troops to defend the realm.
2520 BC, Tokyo: In this year Mt. Fuji erupted for seventeen nights and seventeen days straight. In an effort to pacify the kami of the mountain, Prime Minister Tanaka Kakuei, village elders from across Japan, the senior members of the priesthood and representatives of the armed forces gathered at the Fujisan Hongū Sengen Taisha shrine, where the kami of the mountain, Konohanasakuya-hime, was named Minister-Without-Portfolio to Prime Minister Tanaka’s cabinet. After the elaborate swearing-in ceremony, the eruptions ceased. Following this event, the formal veneration of the Shinto faith across Japan began to take shape.
2520 BC, Jerusalem: In this year the heroic defense of Jerusalem led by King Baldwin III repulsed the Hejazi invasion. The army which had crossed the Arabian desert from the Kingdom of Hejaz had dwindled in size, picked apart by rains of arrows and kept at bay by Jerusalemite armies entrenched around the Dead Sea. Though his war was going well, King Baldwin III was made nervous by the reported movements of Kurdish troops in the lands around Acre, so nervous that he dedicated half his armies to fortifying the city’s defenses. The expansion of Kosovo into Anatolia and the Ptolemies onto the Red Sea coast were also constant concerns, and the Crusader King wondered if soon there would be any land left except the inhospitable desert sands.
2480 BC, Beversrede: In this year the town of Beversrede along the Cape Fear River was surrounded by armies from the Neutral Nation, who claimed to wish the townspeople no harm - however Peter Stuyvesant was quick to dispatch warriors and archers down from Nieuw Amsterdam. To the west the Mississippi city of Spiro was known for its rich copper mine, and the people of Beversrede hoped to trap beaver to trade to the Mississippians.
2480 BC, Kingston: In this year Jah smiled down upon the Commonwealth of Jamaica, when Marcus Garvey helped his people find solace to their worldly woes in Rastafarianism.
2480 BC, Banfora: In this year for the very first time in the history of the Cylinder, a city was captured in war, when Nigerian armies took the town of Banfora from Burkina Faso. The population was severely reduced and the armies of Thomas Sankara stood no chance to reconquer it. In the southern parts of Burkina Faso Nigerian armies continued to harry the city of Ouahigouya, though defenders were closer at hand thanks to its proximity to the capital. The Burkinabe population of Banfora wept in their newfound captivity, and Thomas Sankara wept with them, for the previously upright people of his former city were now bent under the Nigerian yoke.
2480 BC, Viang Chan: Fa Ngum and Ho Chi Minh made peace after an era of war, where neither the Laotian war elephants nor the Vietnamese guerrillas were able to gain the upper hand in the conflict.
2480 BC, Vienna: The Gallic settlers who had set out into the Teutoburg Forest in the midst of a war with Germany had established for themselves the town of Vienna on the Rhine. Their earlier overconfidence was revealed in its full extent as German warriors were immediately spotted on the outskirts of the town. News of Gergovia laying claim to Kentish gemstones did little to cheer up the tense atmosphere among the citizens of Vienna, who lived in fear of the possibility of Kaiser Wilhelm II deciding to annex the newly established city into his empire.
2480 BC, Seepoosha: The treeline was alive with the movements of Dene forces, and the defenders of Seepoosha hoped for relief from Like-A-Fishhook, where Four Bears was gathering his forces. It was known that a band of settlers had set out for the land between Lake Athabasca and Reindeer Lake in the east, and it was the fervent wish of the population across the cities of the Three Affiliated Tribes that their compatriots remained free from the grasps of Thanadelthur’s terrifying armies. The Chinook continued to expand north along the West coast by settling Konapee, and their merchants promised to bring more salmon to Seepoosha after the salmon run.
2480 BC, Thimphu: In the capital of Bhutan a great construction project was undertaken as intricate irrigation systems were carved into the hillside and the Banaue Rice Terraces were completed. The citizens’ bellies would be full forever, and Bhutanese rice was sold far and wide.
2440 BC, Thaba Bosiu: In this year Namibian armies took Butha-Buthe and pressed on towards Maseru. In Thaba Bosiu King Moshoeshoe I consulted with his generals on how to arrange the defences of the capital, knowing that his civilization did not have the military capacity to defend all of its cities. Moshoeshoe cursed his own greed in settling new cities, and hoped Jacob Morenga would accept to enter into peace negotiations before Lesotho lost any more territory. His generals wondered why they were being kept in the capital, far from the front and commanding the Lesothan defence.
2440 BC, Somba K’e: Thanadelthur was pleased to hear of the progress made in the invasion of Seepoosha. The lightly defended city of Four Bears was doomed to fall, it was only a matter of time. She was even more pleased to hear news of the movement of settlers from the Three Affiliated Tribes near Dalu Tue, for it seemed that her adversaries were gifting the Dene with two new cities rather than just one.
2440 BC, Camutins: P’küee, great shaman and leader of the Marajoara led her people to the banks of the Amazon, where in communion with the spirits of the waters, the river and the sea, she proclaimed the wills from beyond the veil, defining the core tenets of the Pajelanca religion.
2440 BC, Acre: In this year the worst fears of King Baldwin III were realized, as a messenger from Hewlêr brought to his court a declaration of war from Mustafa Barzani. The Jerusalemites had divided their strength between defending the capital and Acre, and so much like the Hejazi attack, they were able to stand ready for the initial push of the Kurdish forces. In the midst of war the people of Acre were happy to see the friendly faces of Kosovar merchants from Gjilani, come to peddle their wares in the beleaguered city.
2400 BC, Okos: The garrison of Okos suffered heavy casualties in this year as the war between the Dene and the Three Affiliated Tribes continued. The call of the unclaimed tundra had proved a siren song, as Thanadelthur commanded her forces to surround the settlement, preparing for conquest. Cut off from the capital and with no knowledge of the fate of Seepoosha, the settlers huddled in their cabins, and hoped that Four Bears would arrive to deliver them from the imminent Dene threat.
2400 BC, Lagos: Awolowo celebrated the successes of the Nigerian war effort against Burkina Faso by consulting with the priests of Itan. The experiences and lessons of war had made him pensive, and the father of the nation wished to delve deeper into the meanings of life and death, the fates of the dead soldiers and sailors who had died in the name of Nigerian greatness and the Burkinabe foes they had taken with them out of the mortal realm, and the priesthood of his civilization was more than happy to provide answers to his inquiries.
2360 BC, Nagaoka: The town of Nagaoka grew, attracting new citizens from the rest of the Japanese realm. The surrounding land was rich in deer for trapping, and the Amur River served as a thoroughfare for part of the journey inland to Osaka. The inhabitants of these continental towns laughed when the people of Tokyo and Niigata questioned whether they feared for their lives, being so close to Nurhaci’s Manchu or Lawtiliwadlin’s Chukchi, both of whom were rumoured to be ferocious and bloodthirsty chieftains. The inhabitants of Osaka only saw Manchu merchants glad to escape the constant warfare of Mukden, and the people of Nagaoka were less likely to see any hint of the Chukchi than their cousins back on the home islands.
2360 BC, Berlin: In this year Kaiser Wilhelm II arranged his armies and gave them one command: crush and claim Vienna for the glory of the German Empire. The German forces marched their way towards the Gallic settlement, crushing any pitiful resistance they encountered on their way. The Kaiser was filled with joy at the idea of westward expansion, and pictured how someday the Imperial Reichsadler might soar above Bibracte.
2360 BC, Alexandria: In this year war was declared by the Tuareg and Kosovo. Pharaoh Cleopatra did not fear for the security of Naukratis, confident that Tin Hinan’s forces would not be able to conquer it, though she was saddened that Ibrahim Rugova had chosen rivalry over friendship with her.
2360 BC, Seepoosha: In this year the great Sack of Seepoosha occurred, as the Dene forces stormed the city and set it ablaze. Thanadelthur permitted the wholesale destruction of the city to continue, and the free cities of the Three Unaffiliated Tribes were gripped by terrifying tales from the stream of refugees who had managed to escape the city’s destruction. Thanadelthur’s concerns were focused on the other side of the Rocky Mountains, where Comcomly had founded the city of Neacoxie just south of Behchoko - the Chinook were expanding faster than she could keep track.
2320 BC, Petrograd: The scramble for the plains of Eastern Europe intensified. While Soviet settlers headed west of Petrograd to the Dnieper River, news of the new Kosovar settlement of Pejë between the Dniestr and Prut rivers reached the USSR. And all the while a steady stream of Georgian soldiers escorting settlers passed Petrograd, headed Northeast towards Perm.
2320 BC, Pipiimar: It was Tongva’s time to compete with the Chinook in settling the lands between the Rocky Mountains and the Pacific Ocean. While the Chinook city of Qwatsamts expanded to claim the resources and scenic locations around itself, Toypurina’s settlers went forth to claim what it could not seize before Comcomly controlled the entire region. The queen of the Tongva knew that she could also send her settlers overseas to seek new continents, but decided against it, for to be outnumbered in their homeland would be an invitation to be pushed about by her neighbors.
2320 BC, Tai’arapu: A short journey from Pape’ete the settlement of Tai’arapu grew. In this year Tahitian fishermen caught a tentacle the length of ten men in their nets, and fleets and armies sailed the seas seeking the titanic seabeast it must have belonged to, but found no sign of a monster of the same scale. After two weeks the search parties were called off and everyone soon forgot about the whole affair.
2320 BC, Bobo Dioulasso: In this year Nigerian forces pushed deeper into Burkinabe territory, severing road connections between the city and Ouagadougou. Messages arrived from Banfore, where the “Republic of the Upper Volta” under President Blaise Compaoré had been declared as the “legitimate” government of the Burkinabe people. Thomas Sankara gave impassioned speeches against these counterrevolutionary traitors and the citizens of Burkina Faso knew them to be Nigerian puppets.
2320 BC, Hargeysa: The war between Somalia and Zanzibar stretched on and on inconclusively. Though Somali forces heavily outnumbered the defenders, Mohammed Siad Barre could not sway his army to leave the Horn of Africa to venture south to seize Malindi. So little progress had been made that the Zanzibarian army had been able to carry out a horse raid near Mogadishu, pillaging a ranch and stealing hundreds of horses. Frustrated, President Barre ordered the fishing village of Barbara, so named after the name of the region, to be founded on the peninsula. The Hejazi settlement of Jeddah stood between Somalia and the Arabian Peninsula, and President Barre wished to acclimatize his people to harsh desert climates without the comfort of the Shebelle River flowing through Mogadishu.
2280 BC, Warakurna: In this year preachers from Pukatja arrived in the city of Warakurna to spread the Tjukurpa faith. The Anangu settlement of Northwestern Australia had been very successful so far, unaffected by the other civilizations on the Cylinder, until Kulin settled Coolaroo on the Mardoowarra River, right between three Anangu cities. Each of these cities was home to sizeable garrisons, and Tjilpi wondered if war with William Barak might be worth the risks.
2280 BC, Windhoek: A peace treaty between Jacob Morenga and Moshoeshoe I ended hostilities between Namibia and Lesotho, though the southern African neighbors remained on tense terms.
2280 BC, Asunción: Embroiled in the Cylinder’s longest war, Solano López ordered the construction of a great temple to a distant high god, to inspire the Paraguayan armies and strike fear into the hearts of his enemies.
2240 BC, Ptolemais Hermiou: Pharaoh Cleopatra remained unperturbed by the war on two-fronts her kingdom was caught up in, as one of those fronts was across the Mediterranean, the other had proved unthreatening so far. In stead the Ptolemies focused on settling new cities, with Ptolemais Hermiou as the newest addition to her kingdom. Settled next to a lush oasis away from the floodplains of the Nile, Cleopatra envisioned the city as a royal retreat, a second capital for when she wished to escape the hustle and bustle of Alexandria. For the moment, it certainly lacked any semblance of hustling or bustling.
2240 BC, Peng Ko: For centuries the Peru-Bolivians had failed to claim the vast mineral riches of Cerro de Potosi, and the Mapuche had expanded towards it rapidly, first settling Koz Koz, and now Peng Ko. Across the Andes from La Paz, the town was safely nestled in the mountains and surrounded by highly productive terrain. Andrés de Santa Cruz’s people were forced to look elsewhere for land to settle, while in Paraguay Solano López eyed the new Mapuche cities greedily.
2240 BC, Ouagadougou: The Burkinabe capital was just lightly damaged, but the imminent threat of the Nigerian army had been too great, and Thomas Sankara had been forced to sue for peace. In addition to Banfora, Awolowo demanded that Sankara cede the port city of Ouahigouya to the “Republic of the Upper Volta” - now a semi-autonomous state within Awolowo’s plans for a Nigerian federation. The price of peace was heavy for the leader of the land of upright people, but Thomas Sankara could not allow his faith in the revolution to falter.
2240 BC, Mukden: In this year Nurhaci and Kublai Khan also made peace, following countless years of devastation and death without either side making any recognizable gains.
2200 BC, Madrid: Fighting a war against Wales and Two Sicilies, his neighbour and his own son, King Carlos III found solace in prayer, confession, and the mysteries of the Catholic faith, which he began promoting as the official religion across the Kingdom of Spain. With his spirits lifted, the King felt more at ease with the geopolitical realities of his realm, and saw that the situation was not so dire. Welsh triremes were kept at bay on the Bay of Biscay, and Santiago de Compostela remained undisturbed by the Welsh forces stationed in Brittany. All was well for now, if not at sea then at least in Heaven and on earth.
2160 BC, Tianjing: Hong Xiuquan gathered his armies in the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom’s capital. Following the declaration of peace between the Manchu and Yuan, he had felt uneasy in the balance of power in China. Now, with the Yuan settling Ganzhou on the Shandong Peninsula, he felt that it was necessary for the Heavenly Kingdom to prepare for war.
2160 BC, Sundsvall: With the foundation of Malmö on the Viken bay and Sundsvall in Västerbotten, Karl XII’s Swedish Empire had doubled in size. Across the Gulf of Bothnia Swedish scouts observed as Baron Mannerheim relocated forces from Helsinki to Viipuri, ever-vigilant of his borders. The Swedish army on the other hand remained in the core of her Empire, not anticipating conflict.
2160 BC, Beghaniche’ere: In this year generals passing through the city of Beghaniche’ere held a parade, celebrating the victories of the Dene military against the Three Affiliated Tribes in the Sack of Seepoosha. The capture of Okos was imminent, and the city was filled with jingoist revelry and national pride.
2160 BC, Marienburg: Also in this year Hermann von Salza, grandmaster of the Teutonic Order, at his headquarters in Marienburg received two separate letters, one from Finland, one from Soviet Russia. Both letters contained identically worded declarations of war in Latin, Russian, and Finnish. Hermann von Salza began immediately preparing his Baltic bulwark for the oncoming invasions.
2120 BC, Vienna: The defenders of Vienna fired volley after volley of arrows at the advancing German hordes, but the Gauls were outnumbered and very nearly surrounded. As fire-tipped arrows rained on the thatch-roofed buildings of the town and German warriors ravaged the outskirts, Vercingetorix was coming to regret deciding to found a new settlement on his eastern front.
2120 BC, Thimphu: After extensive communications with the faraway Provisional All-Russian Government, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck of Bhutan was able to secure a promise of military support against the Chola from Admiral Kolchak. The All-Russian envoys had also mentioned attacking someone called Santa Steven, but the Dragon King was not sure who the All-Russians meant. As his ambassador headed south to meet with Raja Raja I to deliver their joint declaration of war, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck felt he had done something of great significance for the future of Bhutan.
2120 BC, Tsaritsyn: From the steep hills overlooking the Dnieper River, the local garrison of Tsaritsyn swore they could almost see all the way to Danzig. The local commissar knew this to be nonsense, but encouraged the soldiers’ eagerness to seek out the immediate target of the USSR’s war with the Teutonic Order. Comrade Lenin was preparing the vanguard of the Red Army in Moscow, but the Tsaritsyn garrison would also have a role to play in the war.
2080 BC, Reynosa: Antonio Canales Rosillo’s Mesoamerican expansion proceeded at a rapid pace, as the next group of settlers pushing further towards the Pacific coast departed from the frontier town of Reynosa. Their farewell celebrations were made even more exciting by news of war from the capital: El Zorro del Chaparral had joined Comcomly of the Chinook in declaring war on Queen Toypurina’s Tongva. Perhaps Rio Grande would have access to the Pacific coast without having to settle it themselves! The people of Rio Grande did not hear about the denunciation of Antonio Canales Rosillo as a warmonger and greedy expansionist delivered by a messenger from Lautaro of the Mapuche, and even in Laredo it was not paid much mind.
2080 BC, Fa’a’a: In this year the largest fleet ever seen by the people of the Tahitian populace of Fa’a’a sailed from Waikiki to Big Island and attacked the city. Queen Liliuokalani’s navy had been sent on a mission to unify the Hawaiian archipelago at any cost. The news of war was slow to reach Queen Purea in Pape’ete, who could only hope that her far-flung colony would be able to defend itself.
2080 BC, Nemossos: The army dispatched from Nemossos to the aid of Vienna began to arrive near the threatened town, but Vercingetorix feared the support was arriving too late. While the German armies were no longer as concentrated as they once had been, the defences of Vienna were at breaking point. Fearing that the conflict with Germany would not end at Vienna, the population of Nemossos was all the more grateful for the sturdy walls of their city.
2080 BC, Aghat: The war between Tin Hinan and Cleopatra had not escalated significantly, being limited to localized skirmishes on the boundary of Naukratis and Aghat. In the most populous of the Tuareg cities fresh settlers were being equipped to help expand the empire in case the Tuareg armies were not able to expand it through use of force. News that the war between Jerusalem and Kurdistan had ended inconclusively reached Aghat, and some citizens quietly wondered why their war with the Ptolemies could not simply be forgotten about like theirs.
2040 BC, Barcelona: This year a man learned in engineering hired by King Carlos III arrived in Barcelona, and as he set up his workshop the city’s population wondered what he might have come to build. The war with the Welsh had not impacted Barcelona, though news from Santiago de Compostela in the North told the Barcelonans that Llywelyn had not just forgotten about the conflict.
2040 BC, Coatzacoalcos: U Kix Chan of the Olmecs had always suspected that there was something supernatural about the colossal heads his people were wont to construct. When people from across his realm claimed to be able to convene with the deceased depicted in those heads, he encouraged this practice with an open mind, heading the adoption of the Tzolk’in religion by the Olmecs.
2040 BC, Caracas: In this year in the newly established town of Caracas, representatives from Gran Colombia and Paraguay agreed to make peace after a war so long no-one present remembered when it had begun.
2040 BC, Vienna: In this year the siege of Vienna ended with the German Empire capturing the town from the Gauls. Kaiser Wilhelm II arrived from Berlin to join his armies on parade. While the humble dirt roads and single intersection masquerading as a market square did not match the Kaiser’s visions of grandeur, he delivered a rousing speech to his soldiers, promising that by the Winter Solstice the war would be over and Bibracte would be theirs.
2040 BC, Malindi: The Zanzibar-Somali War had been simmering for years, and Sultan Barghash bin Said, in an effort to honor the dead heroes of his civilization had constructed the great Mausoleum of Halicarnassus in Malindi, the city which they had so dearly defended.
2000 BC, RSV Babylonian Observer: Professor Hillbert U. Spawnov received an extensive report on the Gross National Happiness of the civilizations of the Cylinder from Ibn Battuta, Babylonian agent posing as a Hejazi traveler. In his report, Ibn Battuta detailed his findings on happiness among the civilizations, finding that the population of Kosovo was happier than even the Babylonians themselves. Ibn Battuta credited this to the amount of friends the Kosovars had. Spawnov referenced this in a footnote of the Babylonian Chronicle and moved on.
2000 BC, Kuruvunga: In this year the defenders of Kuruvunga fought fiercely against Chinook invaders from the North. While the Tongva had not yet encountered Rio Grande’s armies apart from some scouts, they had learned of their new settlement of Matamoros at the source of the Rio Grande river from Neutral Nation observers. Toypurina rallied her forces in Juyubit, consulting her generals on where to deploy her defences.
2000 BC, Teramo: On either side of the Ligurian Sea, the Gauls and Two Sicilies prepared to stop the other from coming any closer. Neither Teramo nor Alesia had been damaged in the conflict between Ferdinand I and Vercingetorix, which was seen as more of a formality than anything else. Life in both cities continued more or less normally. The port of Teramo filled with fishing vessels and cargo ships, while in Alesia the farms were tilled and the lands prospected for potential mines. If not for the soldiers fighting in the no-man’s land between the cities, one might not have realized there was a war.
1960 BC, Moundville: Fed up with the belligerent landgrabber and warmonger to his south, Tuskaloosa declared war on Antonio Canales Rosillo in this year. Mississippian forces found Saltillo woefully undermanned to repulse an invasion stretching all the way along the border, and there was some consideration given to invading the little town of Matamoros as well. Embroiled in the conflict with the Tongva and aspirations of territorial expansion, Rio Grande was not ready for war to come from the Great Plains.
1960 BC, Santiago de Compostela: The defences of Santiago de Compostela were almost totally shattered, the morale of its defenders in tatters, when long-awaited news arrived from Madrid: peace! Though this peace was between King Carlos III and his son Ferdinand I, and would bring no respite to Santiago de Compostela. Carlos and Ferdinand had met in the Balearic islands, unclaimed by any civilizations, discussed their disagreements, and hugged it out. Carlos had brought Ferdinand a crucifix he’d had made especially for his son, and the king of the Two Sicilies had accepted his father’s apology and gift. Peace between the Bourbons was secured. Indeed it was a joyous day, though Santiago de Compostela remained ripe for the taking - if only a Welsh force were to enter the city.
1920 BC, Hippo Regius: News of the end of the war between father and son reached the Vandal capital by way of the gossiping lips of Sicilian merchants. Genseric considered these developments, and wondered whether he might be able to make use of his Alani Horsemen, stationed across his empire from Iberia to Libya. For now he was content to found new cities along the Mediterranean coastline, but there would come a day when all the coastal cities had been settled, and then his forces would conquer the Mediterranean world on horseback, he vowed.
1920 BC, Kanchipuram: Between the Krishna and Godavari rivers the people of Kanchipuram helped prepare a group of settlers for their long journey from their own meager supplies. The war with Bhutan might have felt more pressing, but the small force of Bhutanese warriors in Phuntsholing did not pose a great threat to the town. The settlers were in a hurry, for while Chola expansion along the Gulf of Kutch with the village of Nagapattinam had been successful, it was rumoured that Punjab was planning on expanding into the heart of the Indian subcontinent.
1960 BC, Karakorum: In this year the Yuan War began, when Mandukhai declared war on Kublai Khan. The forces of Northern Yuan marched east, and the Yuan defenders had to arrange themselves to defend the entire front from Kaifeng in the North to Liaoyang in the South. The Khatun declared that she would unite all Yuan peoples under her purple-blue banner, and her loyal steppe nomads cheered, ready to show those plump and lazy imperial Yuans who’s boss.
1920 BC, Waikiki: Most of Queen Liliuokalani’s navy had retreated from Fa’a’a to Waikiki, where it was regrouping for a second push against the Tahitian colony. While there were currently Hawaiian forces on the land on Big Island and triremes in the waters outside the city’s harbor, the defenders of Fa’a’a held firm for the time being.
1920 BC, Bogotá: In this year El Libertador, Simón Bolívar, declared war on Marcus Garvey’s Jamaica. In this venture he was joined by U Kix Chan’s Olmecs, who looked to expand into the Caribbean sea. In Bogotá Simón Bolívar declared his intention to liberate the Spanish speakers subjugated by the Jamaicans in Spanish Town. A correction presented by Jamaican diplomats stating that the city was just called that because it was settled in the immediate vicinity of the Spanish speaking Gran Colombians was ignored.
1920 BC, New Seepoosha: The war between the Three Affiliated Tribes and the Dene was not yet over when Four Bears directed settlers to found a new settlement beside the ruins of Seepoosha. Most of Thanadelthur’s armies had pulled back from the open terrain towards Okos, and a straggling group of horse archers was greatly surprised when they passed the new village. Four Bears might have lost the city of Seepoosha and be about to lose Okos, but he would not lose out on having the last laugh.
1920 BC, Jerusalem: Following the successful defences against Hejaz and Kurdistan, King Baldwin III was able to devote himself to more spiritual matters. Delving into the various religious teachings and ideas present in the cities of Jerusalem and Acre, he began to consult with different communities and preachers, and from the commonalities of these traditions Mandaenism came to be followed in Jerusalem.
1880 BC, Bichos: The nations of Zumbi and P’küee lived in relative peace for many years. Trade between dos Palmares and Marajoara flourished, and both civilizations expanded slowly into the depths of the Amazon, careful not to bother one another. In Bichos the Palmarean traders shared stories of the wars far to the south against the Paraguayans, who were led by a madman intent on conquering all of South America and the world. The Marajoarans were greatly entertained, not taking the stories very seriously.
1880 BC, Saltillo:In this year the Rio Grande city of Saltillo fell to Tuskaloosa’s armies and joined the Mississippi Empire. The Mississippian armies also menaced the town of Matamoros, though the arrival of defenders from Laredo promised to resist the southward advance of the Mississippi forces, many of whom were already slowed by the many river crossings between Cahokia and Saltillo.
1880 BC, Mecca: In this year, after his armies were totally repulsed by the Jerusalemites who were fighting wars on two fronts, Caliph Hussein bin Ali negotiated peace with King Baldwin III, determining that Hejaz was not yet strong enough to conquer Jerusalem.
1840 BC, Samara: Admiral Kolchak’s armies populated the Siberian taiga almost as densely as trees, but their march towards Great Perm was slow and arduous, and only promised to get more difficult. While the All-Russian forces which had set out from Omsk and Samara greatly outnumbered any scouting reports of Permian military strength, the narrow mountain passes of the Ural mountains through which they had to march would blunt any assault they tried to muster into Permian territory. While Kolchak cursed geography, Saint Stephen could momentarily breathe a sigh of relief.
1840 BC, Memphis: While the Tuareg-Ptolemaic War over Naukratis continued to grind itself to a stalemate, Memphis’ city garrison spotted a vast fleet of Vandal ships carrying Alani Horsemen sailing east. Whether they were sailing to Naples, Alexandria, Memphis itself, Jerusalem or some even more distant target, the sight of the Mediterranean Sea filled with Vandal ships terrified the undermanned garrison, and word of warning was sent to the Pharaoh.
1800 BC, Zumbi: In this year Quilombo dos Palmares expanded south from Macaco along South America’s Atlantic coast, settling Zumbi, named in honour of their leader. Also in this year Paraguay settled Humaitá right next to Dambrapanga, and some skirmishes were had between the Paraguayan and Palmarean forces on the outskirts of the cities. Zumbi recognized Solano López’s expansionism as the greatest existential threat to his civilization, but so far his armies had been able to capture any Paraguayan cities during their war.
1760 BC, Hermoupolis: In this year Pharaoh Cleopatra ordered her settlers to cross the Red Sea and establish Hermoupolis on the opposite shore from Thebai. Her citizens did as demanded of them, however not wishing to settle their village in the middle of sheep grazing grounds or on top of an oasis, Hermoupolis was founded very close to the Hejazi capital of Mecca. At that time Jerusalemite settlers were spotted departing their capital, though their eventual destination was yet undetermined.
1760 BC, Ganzhou: While Mandukhai’s Northern Yuan forces advanced towards the core of the Yuan empire, a detachment hurried south to intercept the advancing armies of Hong Xiuquan’s Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, who had just declared war. The city of Ganzhou was the most obvious target, though the Taiping armies seemed to march past the Shandong Peninsula, heading towards Liaoyang and even further into the heart of the Yuan empire. The defenders held their breath, fearing where a concentrated attack would fall, and hoped it would not be concentrated at all.
1760 BC, Reykjavík: Kristján Eldjárn’s Icelandic North Atlantic Empire stretched from Greenland to Scotland. The Icelandic president had recognized the opportunity which the islands of the Atlantic held, the bounties of the sea waiting to be caught, and the importance of timing. While Llywelyn tangled himself in continental wars, President Kristján picked out fjords and firths to claim for Icelandic settlement. While many islands in the North Atlantic still lay unclaimed and the western side of Greenland was devoid of inhabitants, an even greater prize drew his attention: Vinland, far to the west, a whole new continent to explore.
1760 BC, Liaoyang: In this year the defenders of Liaoyang discovered to their horror that both the Taiping and Northern Yuan forces were advancing towards their town. Reinforcements were requested from Khanbaliq and Kaiping, and Kublai Khan took solace in the fact that he had already settled the war with the Manchu and only had to fight two of his neighbors at once.
1760 BC, Honolulu: In this year Queen Liliuokalani sent an ambassador to Queen Purea, offering to make peace between Hawaii and Tahiti. Her navies had failed to seize Fa’a’a, and after a long journey to Tahiti, peace was re-established.
1760 BC, Niagara: Tsouharissen amassed armies in both Niagara and Kandoucho, wary of New Netherland to the south and the rapidly expanding Mississippi to the West, who had recently established Atahachi on the doorstep to Kandoucho. Tsouharissen eyed the walled city of Beverwyck from his capital but knew that the Dutch armies were as strong as his, if not stronger. In Niagara sightings of sailors and scouts bearing a passing resemblance to the people of New Netherland but dressed in stranger clothes with strange-coloured flags were spotted in the Labrador Sea and the Gulf of Maine.
1760 BC, Bibracte: After years of an inconsequential war to which neither party was truly committed, the Gauls made peace with Two Sicilies.
1760 BC, Hà Nội: In this year Fa Ngum declared the Second Laotian-Vietnamese War, sour over his war-elephants’ previous failures to conquer any Vietnamese cities.
1760 BC, Königsberg: Hermann von Salza’s armies were not ready to mount a serious defense of Danzig against the Soviet threat. Troops were concentrated in Königsberg, for the Teutons feared to split the attention of their armies between the Soviets who were gaining ground each day and the Finns, who were hovering on the periphery of the combat, posing a constant threat to the Teutonic flank. A sense of hopelessness spread throughout the city of Königsberg, and many citizens decided to band together to form a settling party to head further from the front rather than stay in the city and risk being captured by the Soviets or Finns.
1720 BC, Kingston: Marcus Garvey sent spearmen from Kingston to defend Spanish Town against the Gran Colombian invasion, though he was happy to know that Simón Bolívar’s forces had not been able to deal significant damage to the city. His Black Star Liners sailed between Spanish Town and the capital, stocking the city with supplies, though the need for troops in addition to supplies grew more urgent by the day.
1720 BC, Pokcha: In this year there was fierce fighting in the mountain passes through the Ural mountains, as Kolchak’s All-Russian armies tried to invade Great Perm. Despite the All-Russian forces outnumbering the Permian defenders and being armed and armored with iron while Saint Stephen’s forces carried bronze-tipped spears, Kolchak’s troops were unable to make any progress towards the cities of Pokcha and Cherdyn. Saint Stephen blessed his good fortunes, though looked to settle more cities in the West, just in case.
1680 BC, RSV Babylonian Observer: In this year a Golden Age was proclaimed on the cybersub, and there was much rejoicing. Everyone was quite content with the command of Admiral Caliph Abd-ar Rahman III, Nebuchadnezzar II gave a commemorative speech celebrating the successful launch of the current observation mission, and in room B5 the Babylon Five met for sherry and a fun game of proofreading the Babylonian Chronicle.
1680 BC, Rotterdam: New Netherland continued to push south along the Eastern Seaboard, settling Rotterdam on the Altamaha River. While the Dutch settlers had yet to spot beavers this far south, the local flora could be used for dyeing fabrics or flavoring food. Peter Stuyvesant continued to send soldiers south from Nieuw Amsterdam, mindful of Tuskaloosa’s military might.
1720 BC, Cahokia: In this year Tuskaloosa secured a peace-deal from Antonio Canales Rosillo, who was forced to cede the city of Saltillo to the Mississippi. As a sign of thanks to the spirits he believed to have supported the Mississippi in their war, Tuskaloosa proclaimed that the Southern Cult, dedicated to the spirits who supported the Mississippi in war and peace should be venerated throughout his domain.
1680 BC, Rehoboth: In this year Mobutu Sese Seko and Moshoeshoe I conspired to declare war against Jacob Morenga’s Namibia. The Lesothans sought to regain the lost city of Butha-Buthe, while Zaire had set its sights on the Namibian outpost of Rehoboth, deep in the jungles of Central Africa. As soon as war was declared the warriors manning Rehoboth’s defenses found themselves encircled from all directions, cut off from the rest of Namibia, closer to the Zairean core than their own civilization. The first moments of the war looked dire.
1680 BC, Tkakhek: Fa Ngum’s war against Vietnam was faltering again, to the extent that he was forced to divert some of the forced intended for invading Sài Gòn south to defend the city of Tkakhek. While the Laotian defenders watched the skies for Vietnamese arrows, they were keenly aware of the movements of a massive Malaccan military force sailing up the Gulf of Thailand, past Kelang on the Mekong River and toward the Laotian flank. The Lao soldiers hoped that their city did not feature too prominently in Mansur Shah’s plans.
1680 BC, Niigata: In this year the Shinto faith was reformed in Japan, after some troubling rumblings from Mt. Fuji. In addition to instituting additional ceremonies, Prime Minister Tanaka Kakuei declared in a speech in his hometown of Niigata that a consultation between the kami of Mt. Fuji and the most senior Shinto priests had resulted in a simple edict to pacify the restless volcano: war with the Chukchi. Prime Minister Tanaka was not one to disagree with Minister-Without-Portfolio Konohanasakuya-hime, and war was declared. Leveraging the trade relations with the Manchu Tanaka was able to sway Nurhaci into joining the war against Lawtiliwadlin. In Niigata the crowds cheered - by the end of this war the Chukchi might be driven off Honshu for good.
1680 BC, Portmore: In the territorial waters of Portmore the Jamaican navy, ready to intercept any amphibious assaults from the Olmecs, sustained light damage from the Olmec archers lining the shore. Unlike Gran Colombia, the Olmecs did not seem to be taking the war very seriously, and posed no immediate threat to Jamaica. In Kingston there was talk of revising the Rastafarian holy texts, though the citizens of Portmore did not concern themselves with the affairs of the priesthood.
1680 BC, Asunción: Before the Temple of Zeus Solano López laughed, receiving news of the Mapuche declaration of war against his civilization. In his mind Koz Koz and Peng Ko were as good as conquered.
1680 BC, Okos: In this year Thanadelthur captured Okos from the Three Affiliated Tribes. This time she prevented her soldiers from setting fire to the settlement, preferring instead to hold the city in the heart of Dene territory. Knowing that New Seepoosha had been settled by Four Bears in the middle of the war, she suspected the leader of the Three Affiliated Tribes would repeat the same with Okos were it destroyed. Too late for the civilians captured from Okos, the armies of the Three Affiliated Tribes began to arrive on the outskirts of the captured town.
1640 BC, Lilybaeum: Genseric continued his westward expansion with the foundation of Vandal Morocco. The Atlas Mountains guarded the cities of Catina and Lilybaeum against the Tuareg of the Sahara desert, and agriculture began to spring up in the peaceful towns.
1640 BC, Khanbaliq: The Yuan War came to an end in this year with no cities changing hands on either side. Kublai Khan praised his armies, who had successfully thwarted Mandukhai’s invaders.
1640 BC, Helsinki: While the Finnish forces held their positions north of Danzig, great developments in matters of religion were made in the capital, with the construction of the Helsinki Pagoda and the re-interpretation of Martti Luther’s writings by the cleric Mikael Agricola.
1680 BC, Danzig: In this year Soviet forces marched into Danzig, delivering revolutionary socialism to the formerly Teutonic lands. Private farmlands were reorganized into kolkhozes, some landlords were tried for their crimes against the proletariat, and Lenin began the preparations for the creation of a United Baltic Soviet as part of the Soviet Union. News of Georgian communities settling in the tundra north of Kiev was also brought to his attention, though the Chairman’s focus remained on the fertile Baltic farmlands.
1680 BC, Kactchanas: The Namibian general commanding the defense of the Eastern Front surveyed the Lesothan armies gathering around the city. Where in the previous war Lesotho had been woefully outnumbered, facing a war on two fronts Namibia found their positions reversed. From Teyateyaneng and Maseru the Lesothan forces continued to arrive, and he feared that Lesotho was looking to do more than reclaim Butha-Buthe.
1640 BC, Spanish Town: The population of Spanish Town cowered within the city’s walls. Fires had sprung up across the city, lit by Gran Colombian incendiary arrows. The Jamaican army was slow to cross the sea from Kingston, where Marcus Garvey prayed to Jah that his forces would reach the surrounded port in time.
1640 BC, Ouagadougou: Following the disastrous war against Nigeria which had seen Burkina Faso sundered in two, Thomas Sankara spent more and more time in contemplation at Stonehenge. It is reported that one day he was visited by an angel from Paradise, who told him that the Burkinabe war effort had failed because the land of incorruptible people had not been incorruptible at all, and too many were guilty of counterrevolutionary thoughts and deeds. So the Sunni faith was established, to safeguard Burkina Faso and the Burkinabe revolution.
1640 BC, Berlin: Kaiser WIlhelm II is reported to have nearly fallen off his horse in laughter when in the middle of a boar-hunt he was informed that the Gauls had settled Lutetia by Lake Constance. Vercingetorix had already delivered Vienna into German control by settling it mid-war in the way of German armies headed for Gergovia. As the marshes west of Vienna were proving difficult to cross, the Kaiser decided that the new target in the war would be the conquest of Lutetia.
1640 BC, Koz Koz: The Mapuche-Paraguayan War’s most intense fighting occurred in the jungles between Asunción and Peng Ko. The armies of Solano López and Lautaro were evenly matched, predicting a difficult war, but in Koz Koz the news that Mapuche settlers and their guards had slipped past Asunción and the detection of the Paraguayan forces into the Amazon basin was cheered on.
1600 BC, Neacoxie: In this year Comcomly and Tuskaloosa declared war against Thanadelthur. The atrocities committed by the Dene against the Three Affiliated Tribes had shocked North America, and the Chinook and Mississippi had formed a pact to enact swift retribution against the northern marauders. The fact that the Dene were shaping up to be a competitor against the two main powers on either side of the Rocky Mountains may also have factored into the allies’ reasoning, but officially the Sack of Seepoosha was cited as the main cause for the war.
1600 BC, Tashkent: Having had a quiet several centuries, Islam Karimov decided that what Uzbekistan really needed was a religion through which he could better direct the population according to his plans. Having called the shamans and soothsayers under his rule to formulate a new faith for the Uzbeks, the newly established priesthood began proselytizing the good word of Shia, under the leadership of High Priest Islam Karimov.
1600 BC, Batavia: In this year Krakatoa erupted (again), and the bustling metropolis of Batavia shone in the lava’s gentle glow. The citizen-employees of the Dutch East India Company were happy with the years of peace and steady growth in profit margins. Even the Sumatran branch of the VOC on Ambon was expanding nicely. Across the Java Sea the Malaccans were busy colonizing the island of Borneo. At a meeting of the Heeren Zeventien Jan Coen had been asked whether he was concerned about Mansur Shah’s expansion in the surrounding islands. The governor-general responded that he was not; whether the Dutch East India Company itself owned the plantations or traded with the Malaccans, the spices would flow.
Much later, when Admiral Caliph Abd-ar Rahman III received the Babylon Five on the RSV Babylonian Observer’s bridge and they presented him with the illuminated, hand-copied manuscript of the Babylonian Chronicle, the submarine’s commander was at first intrigued. He leafed through it’s pages, admired the illustrations, skimmed the annals, and finally asked a question to which Professor Hillbert U. Spawnov did not have a proper answer:“Why?”
This has been /u/HillSpawn with a slight tweak to my normal narration style, I hope you liked it. See you around on Discord or on the Subreddit!