Episode 7: To Live and Die by the Tide

1: Nice To See You, To See You...

Heya everyone, welcome to episode seven of the Civilization Battle Royale X Season Two! I hope you’re having a wonderful day wherever you are, it’s currently lovely here. I’m u/SkiesOvercast, formerly known as Lordie, a resident power ranker and occasional modder but most importantly, I’ll be narrating you through the next thirty turns on the cylinder. We were left on quite a cliffhanger, with a few spicy wars breaking out, so expect an exciting, all-thrills, many-frills action ride, replete with obscure references from yours truly. With that said, let’s go.

2: Getting Heavy

Whilst it might be true that we’ve a few civs down to one city, how many of them do we expect to fall soon? All of them? None of them? I doubt even a Medic could heal the damage to their chances in the BR though. That’s enough TF2 talk, though. Are there TF2 AI games?

3: 20,000 Hexes Over the Sea

Ah, the tale of the Japanese settler. Truly the most inspiring story since Sejong sent his round a bay in Mk2. Perhaps today will be the day his long ramble comes to conclusion? The journey is truly Vernian though, so the comparison is very apt.

4: The Uzbek-Taiping Croissant

Here we have our lovely map by Vihreaa, a staple of the CBR as much as anything else these days. Everyone’s been talking about that sexy Russia-Perm border, but there are loads of cool shapes to be found! For instance, Germany looks like a snail with a question mark above its head!

5: Singh When You’re Winning

Punjab are #1 again! I’m proud that I backed them to win as of Episode 0. Lots of rising and falling with the Stonk Bot this past episode, I personally made a terrible loss. Feel free to join the discord to get in on the action, especially when it’s far more predictable and reliable than IRL stocks.

6: Aqua Periculosa

We begin in the Caribbean. The Marajoara navy has been blunted on Aqualtene, even with their Snake-Canoe Galleasses which are apparently more effective for bombarding than a tall ship. Who knew! Instead, P’küee has dispatched missionaries to convert the city. With Hispaniola settled, it’s mildly surprising that the Lesser Antilles haven’t yet been claimed. In the sidebar, Yuan and Japan make peace.

7: A Kix in the Teeth

In the western Caribbean, meanwhile, the New Netherlands have pretty comprehensively trounced the Olmec navy and secured Portmore for their Beaver-emblazoned empire. U Kix Chan isn’t having a great time of it, as Rio Grande have pushed across the border and surrounded Coatzacoalcos, and even sent a settler across the backside of Central America- it looks like it’ll land on the coast of Costa Rica. Gran Colombia have secured the Manangue Canal with two citadels as well, clearly recognizing its importance to all us on the sub.

08: A Pillar of the CBR

What would this game be without exclaves and bordergore? Bhera is settled by Raja Raja right in the ashes of his most recent conquest, and an entire Uzbekistan away from the rest of his empire, and within range of PARG retributive aggression. To the west, another exclave is under attack, with the Uzbeks beating down on Kars, one of Georgia’s many wayward cities.

09: On the Shores of Western Europe

In the heavyweight clash of Gaul and German, it looks initially like Wilhelm’s warriors are on top, with Cenabum in the red as troops flood in from all sides. Germany’s North Sea fleet has started to cascade down towards Britain but Vercingetorix has pushed up to Vienna- can they retake it? Much like that Icelandic trireme, we’ll have to watch, wait and witness.

10: Anarchipelago

Wow, Indonesia is a mess. Malacca are trying to fix this, however, and paint the islands blue. Wuhu and Tongcheng are both low, and if you’re Jan Coen or Lili’uokalani you’d have to be worried that you’ll be on the chopping block next. As an aside, making a good “hello” joke out of Hilo having the Tjukurpa religion and looking like a wave is surprisingly difficult.

11: The Bows of Multan-and-Paro

It doesn’t seem like there’s too much to write home about concerning the Punjab-Bhutan border. The Punjab army is up north, presumably on its way to Bhera, whilst Bhutan have apparently trained every single citizen possible in the ways of archery. For a top 3 civ, this sparse a core might be worrying but given ongoing wars, I for one think it’s applicable. The religious game having such a clean split down the border is also very satisfying.

12: Citadel Painting

Wilhelm has done a phenomenal job here, pushing back the Kosovan border and consequently driving a fair chunk of Ibrahim Rugova’s army into the sea. Kosovo are slowly recovering from the Adriatic conflict with the Two Sicilies, and this won’t help at all. There’s a lot of settlers about here, but unfortunately Europe is pretty much full up at the minute, so they’re stuck being qualified for something they can’t do: also applicable to the arts and culture sector in our world these days.

13: Dead Zone

The Bermuda Triangle is a space of perfectly aligned peace on the cylinder at the moment, as with no North American civs yet able to cross ocean, its pleasant one-tile pasture grows untainted by human hands. A small Icelandic fleet is hovering around Beversrede, clearly having either made friends with Peter Stuyvesant, or won Open Borders in the peace deal. I’m inclined to believe the latter.

14: Leave Your Coatza’ By The Door

This looks reasonably dire for the Olmecs at first glance, but given the relatively-little progress Rio Grande have made on their capital, it could be much worse. U Kix Chan’s minimal navy is really hurting the cause right now though, as the free funneling of reinforcements for their northern neighbours through the Gulf means that they can’t easily push back with the time their walls will buy. Also, yay! My settler prediction was correct!

15: The Blow-for-Blow Countries

More like, Cenaburn, I guess. Wilhelm razes his conquest to the ground as the Gauls surround Vienna in a veritable Benelux Bloodbath. With Lutetia well defended, it looks like Vercingetorix could feasibly swing some troops right into the German core if he retakes Vienna. It’s still hard to say who this war favors just yet though, as the German resource bank off-camera to the east is reasonably extensive. The fact they’re losing the naval war isn’t convincing though.

16: Dogger Bank Drudgefest

I’m pretty sure it’s the Dogger Bank, anyway. I’ve never listened to the Shipping Forecast but my mother has a map of the areas on her kitchen wall. Don’t ask. Anyway, it looks like a bit of a rough-and-tumble scrap as nobody has anything better than triremes, making this basically a slapfight. It’s not great for our current Top Europeans though.Also, off-camera: Uzbekistan captured Kars and immediately made peace with Georgia, as did Finland. Who were at war with Georgia. Wild.

17: The Thin, Light Red Line

Losing these three cities has really hurt Bhutan, as they’ve made like a .zip and been compressed into a very narrow empire with strong civs on all sides. This has also really depleted their northern carpet, and whilst they can probably reinforce from the many comp bows we’ve seen in their core, you feel that any of their neighbours could take what they pleased right now.In the sidebar, a capital flips and I can reveal it’s Jerusalem being recaptured at present, whilst Awolowo builds a cute military wonder in the Alhambra.

18: Wii Sports Resort

Mansur Shah continues his Indonesian Invasion with the capture of Wuhu and its two-tile island, as units from all over the cylinder are lost in the archipelago. Anangu warriors, Japanese catapults, Zanzibar triremes and one that might even belong to Peru-Bolivia are all floating around, minding their own business as the Malaccans continue to dominate the region.

19: “In truth, fair Montego, I am too fond”

Manangue smolders, but it looks like Gran Colombia can defend the city for now. With his Panamanian outpost secured then, Simon Bolivar turns his baleful eye on that most insulting of Jamaican cities: Montego Bay. Purple troops begin flooding in from Bogota and across Lake Maracaibo. I’m not sure if Jamaica will be able to outlast the assault, but they have prepared a settler to maybe escape if things get desperate.

20: Vandalized Oceans

Down at the Cape of Good Hope, we’re greeted by a swathe of Alani Horsemen, just lurking off the coast. Meanwhile Namibia, the unanimous Most Boring Civ of the last episode, are still just existing. Lesotho, on the other hand, has reinforced its core and build a pretty hefty navy. I don’t think this is quite the way we thought Southern Africa would go, but I’m definitely enjoying it.

21: Pancake City

Jerusalem has continued to flip for a while now, with the Ptolemies’ naval advantage allowing them to keep the city zeroed but their lack of land troops preventing them from holding it. Things may change now, however, as Tripoli has fallen, massively reducing Jerusalem’s ability to reinforce their capital- especially with the Kurdish border limiting their supply line from Acre. With the capture Cleopatra has also nabbed some more Legions, always a fun little bonus.

22: Rehobothersome

Zaire has surrounded Rehoboth as it appears that Jacob Morenga’s battered empire will be reduced even further. Mobutu just has so much more firepower to bring to bear, and it certainly appears like sub-Saharan Africa will end up being fought out between him and Moshoeshoe I. I can see Rehoboth flipping a few times, but it’s just not really a great time for the Namibians, at all.

23: Gobi Gore

Uzbekistan and All-Russia have made peace, hopefully reducing the overall chaos of Central Asia and the Steppes. The Bhutanese partition is yet to be resolved and tidied up, and the same with Bhera, but those are problems for another day. The White Line of PARG settles still looks vulnerable though, even as another is founded in Tyumen’. Perhaps a Yuan will take it up?

24: Grinding Wheels

Sparks continue to fly as two of the cylinder’s greatest war machines clash, but it appears that it’s Germany who’s been worn down more. Poland is almost completely empty, as Vienna is surrounded and deep in the red. With Cenabum almost razed, if Vienna does flip then Western Europe will look very, radically different in the blink of an eye.

25: Gameti Theory

Up in Nunavut, we see that the Neutral-Icelandic war has petered out, with just one archer continuing the fight. The Dene have settled Gameti right in the middle of the Icelandic line of conquered cities, and with the way Kristjan has been playing, I’d not be surprised to see him add it to his collection. Regardless, he’s sent a settler over to continue their colonization of Vinland.In terms of the sidebar, a few people dogpiled on Jerusalem, and Uzbekistan also made peace with Yuan, but the Welsh hate train is slowing.

26: I Wanna Have Waikiki

In the latest instalment of the Polynesian Pokefest, once more Tahiti tries to claim Waikiki. As has been mentioned, Lili is basically refusing to build naval units which is unhelpful for an island civ. Fortunately for her, Tahiti are basically entirely toothless right now, and her melee army are probably enough to defend for the time being. I’m sure Purea will eventually claim Hawaii, if she doesn’t die first.

27: OMG, It’s My Bay!

In perhaps the pinnacle of the Gran Colombia redemption arc, they take Montego Bay and fully secure the lands that were promised them. It’s not been an easy road, dropping to dead last in the power rankings, but Simon Bolivar has done it. Even if the city flips a few times, we can still say that we were here when our bad guy turned sad guy became a glad guy.As you can probably also see, the Marajoara captured Aqualtene! Perhaps they’ll build the Caribbean to rival the New Netherlands.

28: Ascalone in the Desert

Jerusalem has capitulated, and Baldwin has given over Ascalon in the deal. I’m not sure whether Cleo will be happy about this, frankly. It’s surrounded by Hejaz, who just declared war on Jerusalem to boot, and she has no way to reinforce it. Why are there always Middle Eastern exclaves? But claiming Jerusalem for the Ptolemies is a massive win, no matter how you look at it, especially with Tripoli as well. Pour one out for Hussein bin Ali though, who probably thought he could nab a free city.

29: Boars and Eagles

Vienna falls (although, spoilers, it’ll flip back immediately), and all of a sudden Germany look a lot weaker. They’ve only got a couple of melee units and though their navy is making inroads to Britain, I doubt the Gallic archers will permit any kind of snipery. Wilhelm will have to play this incredibly well to not lose this ground against his current biggest rival.

30: Tasman Titan

Kulin have settled the North Island with my new favorite city name of Nar Nar Goon, and wow that’s fun to say. They’ve also settled Tarneit on Tasmania, and have a navy poking at Tahiti’s cities on the South Island. It’s looking pretty good for William Barak at this point. I still pray for the day we properly get a super-expansive South Pacific civ who can actively challenge Australia.In the sidebar, the Manchu and Laos declare on Vietnam. This could be quite dicey for Uncle Ho.

31: Zaire We Go

Rehoboth flips over to Zaire, and whilst Namibia can probably aggress onto it, looking at those reinforcements in the Congo I doubt it’ll be blue for long, if at all. The real question now, I guess, is whether Mobutu is satisfied: Gibeon and Kactchanas are probably within reach if he decides to hard commit.

32: Rhine Time

Vienna has flipped again, but this time the Gauls look to have it secured. A mass cavalry engagement is going down east of Lutetia, as Wilhelm is throwing everything at the east, abandoning his Swedish territories for the time being. So far it looks like a massive win for Vercingetorix, especially if Vienna comes with those citadels now.

33: Fighting for Scraps

With Taiping having locked down Ha Noi, Laos are trying to push into Sai Gon, to finally end their annoying neighbours. Being forced through that narrow channel will probably hurt Fa Ngum’s chances though. Meanwhile, Bhutan and Uzbekistan make peace, and as you can see on the minimap, Islam manages to grab Paro, a major city, in the deal. He then proceeds to burn it down. You do you, Karimov.

34: The Mysteries of the Amazon

Exclaves galore in Amazonia right now, with Paraguay, the Mapuche and Gran Colombia all trying to snap up territory. Peru-Bolivia, meanwhile, are taking snapshots at Maracaibo, seeing if they can steal it away whilst Simon is occupied with Jamaica. Peru-Bolivia are still protected by the Andes at present, which is likely the only reason one of their neighbours hasn’t been able to get in there yet. As it always seems to be with the Andean civ, it’ll just be a matter of time before indirect fire arrives.

35: The Fury of the Northmen

So, this is an interesting play, to be sure. Germany declares on Iceland, whilst already at war with the Gauls, as we know. Essen is undefended and should be an easy target for Iceland, with a Scandinavian snipe also potentially on the cards. It’s genuinely one of the most bizarre AI decisions I’ve seen. Good luck Wilhelm, I guess!

36: Folklore, Soviets, Saints and Georgia

The Barents Sea and surrounding territory is another spot of contested borders and confusion. Another Georgian exclave is snugly fitted between the USSR and Perm, having been entirely surrounded by snow settles, such as the ironic Baku on the Murmansk peninsula. This encroachment has also affected Finland, with Mannerheim too now penned in on all sides. That said, he’s a lot more equipped to deal with any Russian aggression, having built up a solid army. Any conflict here should see multiple cities fall, but we don’t want to get too hopeful too soon.

37: Saltillo in the Wounds

I randomly happen to know a decent amount about Saltillo purely since it was a town an artist I was researching lived and ultimately died in. William Townley Benson, look him up, tragic figure. Nevertheless, it’s still firmly Mississippian at the present time, although those other two Rio Grande cities are surprisingly well set-up and defended. It’ll be interesting when these two heavyweights fight once more.

38: The One Who Wanted Mo’ore’a

Pain. Agony. Tanaka Kakuei’s hatred will burn in the cavernous deeps of his black heart, within his tiny empire. Why? Since Purea’s settle on the Pitcairns has prevented his own, presumably to have been on Easter Island. The voyage of the Japanese settler has one we’ve watched eagerly, only to have our hopes dashed by Purea as they approached their end goal. Now two triremes gaze sadly across the pink borders to their isolated escort. Shame on you, Tahiti. Shame!

39: Mare Malaccorum

Tongcheng falls down south, as Taiping’s Philippine and Indonesian settles are all but entirely painted over by Malacca. Even now, a fleet swings north to harass Qingpu, and Shouzhou looks undesirably weak, especially with that tech disadvantage.

40: Heads Above The Water

It’s looking worse and worse. Far from a fightback, the Olmecs have collapsed, and Coatzacoalcos dips into the red with no signs of sanctity anywhere. That lack of a navy is really hurting them. There may be a glimmer of hope, though, in that there’s only two melee units in range. That won’t stop Rio Grande for long, however.

41: Islands of Stability

Things have started to settle down in the northern Caribbean now, with Montego Bay flipping but itself and Aqualtene both reasonably secure as opposing forces peter out. Jamaica aren’t in a great position right now, although they do have a settler out which could potentially pull them out of the city-state tier. Marajoara having their own island city could be a good chance for them to push out of South America. Overall, this has definitely been the least predictable Caribbean we’ve ever seen.

42: Vercingetorix’ Wall

Wow, that citadelling of Hafnarfjorthur is unbelievable, what did Kristjan do to the Gauls to deserve that? A settler is being sent north from Condevicnum (coincidentally settled exactly where I’m writing this from IRL), and I think there might be a space to settle where it’s sat right now. Otherwise, the Gallic navy in the North Sea is just about gone, but German poking at Condate is as ineffective as I’d predicted. We see Toypurina declare on U Kix Chan in the sidebar as well, as if things couldn’t get any worse for the Olmecs.

43: The Rockies and a Hard Place

Being stuck in the middle is never fun, especially if you’re Four Bears. All three of the Affiliated Tribes’ neighbours have settlers who will likely close off the little unoccupied space they might have been able to claim, if they even want to given the Chinook edging ever closer. Bottle Creek from the Mississippi is the latest example of this, as the last open spaces in the world are steadily plugged.

44: The Green War Machine

There’s not really that much more to say about the Gauls-Germany war that I’ve not said already. Vienna is looking solidly Gaulish, and the Knights around Lutetia will make Germany’s horsemen hard-pressed to find value.

45: Seafood

Essen has basically just been a tasty snack for the Icelandic navy for a little while, and they’re definitely hungry as they surround Wilhelm’s Shetland outpost. Given how vulnerable Stettin looks right now as well, this could be a very fortunate turn of events for Kristjan.

46: Bad Guys, Good Hope

That’s another lovely city name for the books as New Netherlands settle the House of Good Hope on Newfoundland. Marcus Garvey, of all people, declares on Iceland now. I guess they’ve racked up some serious diplo penalties, since it seems way out of proportion- they’ve just fought normal battles from my eye test. Reykjavik certainly looks healthy though, no wonder it’s become an esports hub in our world.

47: The Manpower from Uncle

Laos have got themselves decent covering fire, and at the very least they should be able to comfortably prevent Vietnam from pushing out of Sai Gon. You’d hope they’re capable of more than that, however. Meanwhile, Malacca’s tidal tyranny seems to have been stymied at last by Taiping, and unseen is a good notification for Sweden: peace with Iceland and the Vandals.

48: The Emrallt Isle

It’s an all-green affair still, as the Gauls half-heartedly poke away at Casnewydd. Llywelyn really hasn’t got much left in the tank, and if those triremes were ranged ships you can be sure he’d be at death’s door. Fortunately for our British fans, that’s not the case, but it’s another sorry showing from the Isles in a royale. Cenabum has been resettled in Cumbria, too.

49: Like For Like

In perhaps one of the most pointless exchanges of the season, the Dene and Iceland are fighting over Khioetoa and Gameti. Their respective navies can’t reach the other city, due to the ice, and neither seems fussed about invading overland. I’m pretty sure they’ll just swap hands, and at least restore some border order.

50: Prison Colony Break

Is it going to happen? Surely not?! The Kulin declare on Malacca, and dive straight for Terangganu. As far as I can tell, Malacca still have a slight tech lead, but their navy is somewhat dispersed right now. With how vulnerable some of these Indonesian cities are right now- my personal opinion is that three coast tiles is required for the AI to consistently capture a city- maybe William Barak has a chance to do some damage to the scourge of the small isles and break the Australian curse.

51: Keys to Success

A few Icelandic troops are kicking about on the Atlantic coast, but aside from that things are just peachy in New-Netherlandish Georgia and Florida. For a colonial civ, they’ve done a good job ticking off all the traditional American colony locations: New England, Florida, Cuba, and now they’re working on Mexico and Central America. Real seventeenth-century goals.

52: A Poison Chalice

Australia is often a gift in the CBR. A huge swathe of land promised to one of a handful of civs, but then one that’s often impossible to escape from. The Kulin have a mighty core, but the same was said of Hawke, and Parkes before him. They’ve got some solid coastal cities but also haven’t yet terraformed the Outback, and Eumemmerring and Tanjenong both seem to have very high defense values for the time. Maybe William Barak does know something we don’t.

53: Head Wound

There it is. Coatzacoalcos falls, and the Olmec government flees to Tonala. Antonio Canales Rosillo now has both his first original capital, and a monopoly on the Gulf of Mexico. It’ll be interesting to see where both these civs go from here- Rio Grande will have to fight through one of the other North American monoliths, whilst time will tell if the Olmecs have to find a way to survive. Given Gran Colombia’s aggressive citadel policy to the southeast, and their relative lack of expansion, it may be hard for them to do so.

54: Slow Zealand

The war in the Pacific has been burning slowly, possibly since the Kulin’s eyes are currently to the north, but given this huge tech disparity between themselves and Tahiti, you’d think that as soon as William Barak decides he wants Pora Pora and Ra’iatea, they’re his. Frankly, I’m not sure what Tahiti could’ve done better aside from be even more expansive, but they’ve hardly slouched, and are up to a decent enough city count. Sadly, decent doesn’t win you a CBR.

55: Kingstonks Falling

Kingston starts to take damage for the first time in a long while, even as a Jamaican settler appears to race a Colombian one for a spot on Hispaniola. I’m not sure where the damage came from, as given who’s around it could even be Iceland. That’d be a twist and a half, but even with those triremes it’s a fanciful idea at best.

56: The White Warships

The reports came in all at once to Honolulu. Marvellous ships, capable of crossing even the deepest ocean, supporting great war carracks. They flew a flag from the far north, that of the Chukchi. They brought with them the thunder of war. Honestly, if the Chukchi commit to this war, they have such a huge tech and unit advantage and I think could very easily clean up Hawaii and Fa’a’a to boot. We’ll see whether that happens, however. Caravels are nevertheless a welcome sight on the cylinder, as is another Japanese settler. Let’s see where this one goes. Not-insignificant peace is made between Bolivar and Solano Lopez in the sidebar.

57: Contact

The Vandals have crossed the Atlantic, and have found the Quilombo dos Palmares less than friendly. Given how relatively well the African civs are doing, with ocean ships and crossing, as seen by Nigeria’s settler, a concerted effort could see our first Atlantic struggle where Africa are the aggressors after the adventurous Buccaneers in Mk2. Regardless, the Palmares and the Marajoara make peace to address this new threat.

58: Overcooked

I guess you have to warm yourself up somehow in the frigid north. Essen burns, and frankly there’s no way Wilhelm can save it, even with that hastily reorganized navy off of Norway. Well done to Kristjan, I suppose, meeting all of our expectations. What happens next, however, is the important bit. The Olmecs and Rio Grande peace out, potentially buying U Kix Chan some time to plan his next move.

59: All We Ask, Is Why?

Well then. Is this now *definitely* the most pointless conflict in the CBR? I’d say so. The Dene have done a decent job at trying to recapture Gameti but it looks like it’ll still be razed to ash. Meanwhile Iceland have settled Selfoss on what I think is meant to be the tip of Baffin Island. I’ve always wanted to explore rural Nunavut, sadly my favorite island, Ellesmere, isn’t on this map. Also, the Gauls and Wales make peace. Llywelyn will live on yet.

60: Lest You Find Yourself Repeating Them

I don’t believe it. How, Simon Bolivar. How are you so useless. Forget the chip damage on Kingston: you’ve had another settler captured. By Jamaica. In the same game. Oh, I am so disappointed. You could’ve had a Caribbean colony, but oh no, you send a settler sans escort and it gets gobbled up by a swordsman. You absolute donkey of a supreme liberator. Nevertheless, aside from Jamaica being handed a free out, they’ve been kicked off the continent and back into the rapidly-filling island chains. Maybe we’ll need Iceland to intervene after all, especially if Marcus Garvey can keep making peace with people.

61: Provisional All-Roads Government

The PARG core is quite satisfying in a sense- almost every city being connected by road is lovely, I assume Kolchak has a mega-high infrastructure bias which would be entirely in character. I wonder if anyone could make a good parody of Lobachevsky based around All-Russia though- we’ve already got Omsk and Tomsk as a free start, Glazov and Saratov and Tobol’sk and Ural’sk make half rhymes… it’s possible. At least it’s not entirely filled with catapults anymore.

62: The In-Bhutween

The Great Bhutanese Narrowing seems to have reached its zenith with the cession of Paro, as it’s massively embellished Jigme’s carpet, condensing it into a much smaller empire. They’re bookended by the Chola, which might be a place for Bhutan to start making a comeback. I mean, the VOC have more naval units around their colonies than they do their own. Fighting up a tech differential is definitely possible, I guess. That’s the best sugar-coating I can do for now.

63: The Ends of the Earth

Lautaro settles both the Falklands and Los Estados, locking up the South American naval game for now. Amaro is still an eyesore for us map fans, but the Mapuche are an interesting conundrum. A medium-strength civ who seem to have all the right biases together, but hamstrung by good settles further north. Honestly, it reminds me of the Selk’nam if Uruguay hadn’t… happened. Some relevant notifications on the side though: Germany and the Gauls make peace with Vienna in green, and the Chukchi reopen the Manchu war.

64: Ashes on the Breeze

And just like that, two cities are gone. Tragic. Iceland resolve to throw a horseman at Quinaoutatoua in frustration, and the Dene go home. War, what is it good for?

65: Icefall

The Chukchi fleet, supplemented by additional amphibious troops thanks to the Itsukushima Shrine, floods down towards Korea. They’ve not got much space due to Japan, but with such a ridiculous tech advantage, surely they can get something done here. Girin doesn’t even have walls, and not even a cool citadel can save the Manchu now.

66: Merry Caibomas

Peru-Bolivia, the madlads, manage it! They whisk away Maracaibo from under Simon Bolivar’s nose, and increase their empire by 50%. Thanks to the Paraguay-Gran Colombia peace, Bolivar will also have a hard time getting units over there to retake it. Very well played by Santa Cruz. We’ll have to see how long it lasts, though.

67: Great Lakes, High Stakes

Kandoucho is almost surrounded, but the Neutrals are pumping out War Bands like there’s no tomorrow. Pretty apt response, in my books. Mosfellbaer is under fire, so it depends whether Peter Stuyvesant is willing to let Tsouharrisen have it in exchange for a capital, or if he’s only in war for outright gains.

68: Junk In Name Only

Malacca have hit their UU and the Jongs are aplenty in the South China Sea. Well, there’s two. That should be more than enough to take Shouzhou though, as Mansur Shah already begins to pile damage onto the city. Taiping have almost given up their southward dreams, it seems, as they settle Chengtang further north, where it’ll hopefully be safe.

69: Incendiary Islands

Terangganu is Teranggone, as the Kulin smash it to pieces and burn what’s left. More Jong action down here, as Mansur Shah sends his navy to try and keep the Australians out of his new back garden. Meanwhile, we’ve got a rump-off in TAT vs Olmecs, and two cross continental peaces: Laos/Ptolemies and Hawaii/Vandals. I’m sure some ambassadors were very upset.

70: Death In Paradise

Death In Paradise is a fantastic show actually, would recommend. Maybe Lili’uokalani should take a break from whatever her entertainment of choice is, however, and actually defend her capital? Lawtiliwadlin’s navy have blasted it to half health in no time at all, and Hawaii really don’t seem to be bothered. The Chukchi are also sending a settler over. Not really looking good for our Polynesian friends.

71: Macacursion

The Vandals are walloping the Palmares navy right now, but I’m not sure if they’ll be able to take Macaco. I guess we’ll see, but this at least answers the question of what the Vandals are doing next, after their European endeavours. The Palmares have also been impeded a bit by a lovely citadel from Bichos. Well played, P’kuee.

72: Above the Quarrels of Mortals

A handful of Finnish Lutherans observe the naval mess that is Iceland v Germany. Germany have actually got the numbers advantage right now, and it looks like they’ll be able to keep Iceland away from Stettin after all. Peace with the Gauls has likely done a lot for Wilhelm’s chances.

73: Pacified

The Tongva have been relatively quiet for a while, but they’ve filled in their empire with a few cities and avoided war with their likely stronger neighbours. Unfortunately, they’re not particularly technological nor naval, so they can’t cash in on the Hawaiian situation: Honolulu is in the red and looks poised to fall. Excellent, excellent tactical play from the Chukchi so far.

74: A Hive of Scum and Villainy

Mosfellbaer flips to the Neutrals, and it looks like Kandoucho has actually recovered. Tsouharrisen has got away with a blinder here, it seems, as no New Netherlandish troops seem to be within recapturing range of the city. Mabila seems like a trap, meanwhile, designed to bait hungry minor powers into a folly war with the Mississippi which Tuskaloosa can then capitalize on. We see through your ruse, my friend, we see.

75: So Come On!

There’s an uprising in Karakorum, as Northern Yuan are discontent, and barbarian swordsmen are spawning in response to Mandukhai’s rule. Maybe they’ve seen how she’s doing in the Power Rankings? They seem to have a classic case of Snoryak Syndrome, yet they are filling out their core and are still statistically strong. At this point they could still miraculously win from nowhere, but anything short of rampant success will be very much deemed disappointing. Now would be the best time, with a unique trebuchet, the Huihui Pao, hopefully leading to many siege units being built.

76: Caution: Might Author

In other words: May Pen. Jamaica have left the city-state club of which they were so briefly a member, and managed to found such an incomprehensibly vulnerable city that I’m still in shock. Marcus Garvey, if you’re reading this, please stop inting so hard. Yes, we predicted you last but that was a guess! You don’t get a medal for a bigger number! Anyway, the New Netherlands’ island empire is quite cute now we can look at it. That’s what Jamaica could have been.

77: Parasoldiers

Laos and the Chola are at war. Don’t worry if you couldn’t tell, you’re forgiven. For a civ at war with two of their land neighbours, they’ve been very inactive and unimpressive. As I said earlier, the VOC are mounting a more impressive naval invasion of Uraiyur whilst at peace with Raja Raja. A travesty of an AI you are, Fa Ngum. Also, clearly Uzbekistan hasn’t got an if player:IsHuman() check on it’s GameplayAlertMessages, as we find out that the civ’s UA is working properly.

78: The Real Guay, The Best Guay

So you're a tough Guay, like it really rough Guay? Solano Lopez’ empire isn’t quite the all-out chaos-fest we expected, but honestly, that might be a good thing. Paraguay have a chunky core, well carpeted, and honestly they could take chunks out of anyone around them. Those exclaves to the northeast aren’t the best defended, but honestly shouldn’t even factor into Solano’s plans right now. I love Paraguay with a passion and I’m very excited to see how they do given they’ve survived the early game which is usually their downfall because of excessive warmongering. A stable Guay, is a strong Guay.

79: Shouzhou Showdown

Can we nerf Malacca? This is just unfair. They roll through Shouzhou with barely a brief pause for us to catch our breath and now have melee units beside Qingpu. Honestly this is one of the best dismantling of an empire I’ve ever seen in the CBR and feels like it should be up there with Boers vs Ethiopia in Mk2 for sheer ruthless efficiency. None of these cities have even flipped back, for god’s sake! Of course, the real challenge will be a land war- Malacca, to my knowledge, are yet to capture an inland city.

80: Spared

Crushing. That’s what this image is. Honolulu in the deep red, and the Chukchi without a melee unit to capture it. Honestly, Tahiti could probably snipe the city if they had any form of initiative. Lili is the luckiest leader right now, and it’s not even close. On the continent, Tsouharrisen and Four Bears make peace, another war closed out for the beleaguered TAT.

81: Yokohama Shindō

Poor, poor Nurhaci. Mukden has been citadelled to oblivion, and the Chukchi’s open borders with Japan (something I’d not noticed earlier) have given them easy access through Yokohama which the Manchu can’t reciprocate. Whether they can force their way to the capital overland is one thing, but that fleet of caravels looks set on Hirin. It’s quite a shame that we’ve not had a chance to see the Manchu get up to full strength, it feels like they’ve been hamstrung from day one.

82: Egyptomania

Well, it looks like Egypt’s already attracting tourists. Bob Brier would be proud of the Burkinabe soldiers holidaying in Ptolemy lands, which are looking reasonably impressive, I might add. A couple of huge cities, good breadth, what more could you want right now? Their navy isn’t half bad either, although the current Sicilian armada is frankly terrifying in the north.

83: New Lines

With Rehoboth pretty firmly in Zaire’s hands, the war seems to have been fought to a stalemate. Mobutu seems to be redistributing his forces up north, so perhaps Jacob Morenga has an opportunity to strike back? Or even, Lesotho could dismantle them both? Southern Africa is certainly not decided by any means yet. In the sidebar, some interesting wars: Japan, Sweden and the Vandals all declare on Northern Yuan. Seems they’ve had enough of boring Siberian civs too.

84: Roll the Bones

U Kix Chan has decided to try and take the initiative, as we’ve seen elsewhere, and make a play for Peter Stuyvesant’s Caribbean holdings. Unfortunately, he’s sent out a very disorganized, spread-out fleet which the New Netherlandish Navy with have no problem negating. To the east, I can’t believe it. May Pen is under siege by Icelandic triremes. Screw it, I want this to happen now. Would serve you right, Garvey.

85: Fringe Invasion

The relatively recent settle of Khovd is under attack, and Mandukhai isn’t doing much about it. Well then. The Osakan government have pulled off a masterstroke here, whilst their home office in Tokyo are busy sending settlers halfway across the world, and declaring war on the Manchu. Silly things like that. The city is surrounded and I expect it’ll fall in very short order, but whether the Northern Yuan will strike back is the big question. Also, the Chukchi have longswords. Scary.

86: Micronesian Melee

Chaos in the Near Pacific, as ships of all sides slug it out. I assume this is mostly Hawaii vs somebody now destroyed (the Chukchi? Tahiti?), but it looks interesting at least. Meanwhile Malacca are repairing their new takings, and have resettled Terangganu following its razing by the Kulin. Also, the eagle-eyed amongst you might have spotted that the new Bhera was captured by PARG offscreen earlier this turn. Helpful for mapmakers at least.

87: Aggressive Venting

Well then, this happened. What I wrote off as frustration has turned into military success, as Iceland capture and raze Quinaoutatoua. Whilst in practice this will probably just mean the MIssissippi will settle somewhere around there with that settler, Iceland’s scarily competent military is a sight to behold. Maybe it’s just an Iceland thing? Also, Somalia is mass declared on, by Uzbekistan, Nigeria and the VOC.

88: Assimilating the ‘Borg

I take that back. Germany swipe Helsingborg from under Kristjan’s nose with a handful of triremes and whilst I get that the city is super exposed to naval assault, you just can’t be letting this happen. I doubt the city holds, but it looks like the Faroe distraction might let Germany resettle the Shetlands, meaning this has been a net win for Wilhelm. Shocking. Also, Sweden and Kosovo make peace with Georgia. It’s not been shown, but Mtskheta has flipped a total twenty times this episode. Twenty. It ends up in Kosovo colors.

89: The (Other) Dark Blue Tide

Every time I think I’ve seen the best Kulin city name, they found another cracker. Woori Yallock is incredible. But it’s the navy that are really doing work, as Kulin and Tahitian fleets meet in the ocean, beside Sanjo, the long-heralded Japanese outpost. On the topic of settling, Tahiti look like they’re about to found a city. This seems like a terrible idea given how imminent their total naval collapse seems, but hey, YOLO.

90: Reclamation

The Gran Colombians aren’t happy with Peru-Bolivia for stealing away Maracaibo, and they’re here to take it back. Which shouldn’t take too long, frankly, given there’s just the two comp bowmen defending it. You tried, Andres, you tried. Elsewhere, Mosfellsbaer flips once.

91: Kakuei Kalculations

Well, maybe Tokyo’s anti-Manchu policy has some merit. In tandem with the Chukchi, Girin has been stripped of naval shielding and has taken about a third in damage. The Manchu aren’t rolling over, at least, and have got a solid fleet in the Korean Strait as well as following up the God Citadel with another one next to it. They’re also about to kill that Japanese settler, but it’s possible that Girin might finally unite the Japanese empire, allowing the big-brained Osakans to help run the country.

92: Ahem

And just like that, Khovd is Japanese. Another victory for the Osakan Empire! The Northern Yuan army, rather than aggress into Japan for their trespass, have actually regressed into their empire as well. I am genuinely unsure how or why Mandukhai is playing like this, it’s simply irredeemable. Anyway, their loss is Japan’s gain, who are turning out to be quite the plucky non-quitter.

93: Unbherable

There’s the All-Russian-occupied Bhera I mentioned earlier, as well as the new city of Bekabad on the ruins of Kars. This loss might be entirely inconsequential to Punjab, but it seems like they really wanted to keep it based on that force around Kasur, which was presumably booted out of Uzbekistan when an open-border deal ended. In the sidebar, Hejaz and Lesotho make peace. It’s always nice remembering which random civs are at war.

94: On Pointing

Alberti has compiled his life’s work, and truly, we are blessed to see which civs are the pointiest. Given that two of the top five are at war, we’re in for a treat. Nigeria and Two Sicilies in second and third is quite a surprise, however, and are definitely ones to watch for the next while if they’ve got this much to bring to bear. Otherwise the rest of the top eight: Vandals, Uzbeks, Chukchi and Gauls, are pretty much expected.

95: Here We Go Again

Malacca simply can’t get enough. Qingpu, the last of Taiping’s Southeast Asian settles, is under siege and again, will likely fall. I’m genuinely out of superlatives for how well this has been done. In the sidebar, there’s a lot going on though: Zaire, Kosovo and Nigeria all declare on the Chola, but more importantly, they’re joined by two others- Bhutan, and Malacca themselves.

96: Jets Cooled

Well, that’s a sight to knock the wind right out of any Kulin fans’ sails. Coolaroo is taking damage as Malacca counterattack hard with Jongs. Borneo is such a fortress for Malacca now, and with four big ports they can probably churn out ships much faster than William Barak can. We can also check in with the Anangu, who’ve been citadel-chained a little, but it’s nice to see them alive.

97: Yuanbang

Things get even worse for the Manchu as Yuan pincer them with a swift declaration of war. They also declare on Northern Yuan at the same time which is, a decision, to be sure. As of right now, though, Mukden is under siege, as is Aigun. We might be about to see a quick relegation of the Manchu to rump status, even if they do manage to settle Japan.

98: Anything But Neutral

After a well fought war, it looks like the Neutrals have managed to hold off the New Netherlands. Kandoucho and Mosfellsbaer are both recovering, and it seems like the bleeding is very much stemmed. This might be due to the fact they’ve grabbed another Musketman from somewhere, which is concerning. Maybe this slot is cursed with bugs?

99: Island Alignment

I think this is the largest Tahiti’s military has been, honestly. Meheti’a is defended but whether this will stop the Kulin is anyone’s guess. I vote, probably not. Tahiti have another settler out which is something, and I guess they’re doing better than Hawaii? Not a high bar really. Add the South Pacific to my list of “Regions I Really Want To See Be Competitive” alongside Britain and Central America. On the topic of the Americas, Lautaro declares on Peru-Bolivia. This could go somewhere, actually.

100: Bhutrayal

It’s not really a betrayal, to be honest, if you’ve been at war before. Uraiyur is finally taking damage, no thanks to Laos, as Bhutanese troops flood over to it. Malacca haven’t turned up yet, so maybe Jigme has a chance to grab some cities before Mansur “Destroyer of Worlds” Shah gets in on the action. On the other hand, the Chola have a decent land army and are starting to head towards Phuntsholing. Bhutan might actually be in a little trouble if they don’t make gains fast.

101: If You Come For The Qing

Malacca simply don’t miss, is the thing. Qingpu fallas and the army around it is breathtaking. They declare on Hejaz, apparently just because they felt like it? Whatever makes you happy, Mansur. That said, Taiping might have a shot at retaking Shouzhou if they can get those units onto Hainan. Meanwhile, the Chola and Laos make peace. Goddamnit Laos.

102: Put It On Your Ptombstone

That makes more sense. Cleopatra declares on Hejaz as well and Ptolemaic troops flood across the Red Sea, hell-bent on dismantling their Arabian neighbours. Ascalon might well fall, but I don’t think Cleo cares right now. Interestingly, Hejaz have got basically no foot archers right now, which will make things harder, especially with Mecca and Al Qunfidhah already citadelled.

103: Antarctic Real Estate

Those cavalry units have a hell of a job. Garrisoning cities on the edge of the ice really doesn’t sound like a great gig, especially if you’ll be eating chilled venison for the next ever. I’m surprised Elephant and Coronation Island didn’t go over to the Mapuche, honestly. At least this makes the race for South Georgia mildly interesting? What a time we live in.

104: The Chosen Yuan

Alright, seriously, what are the Northern Yuan doing. A Yuan cavalry detachment slides straight in the border to harass Bayan Tumen entirely uncontested and still Mandukhai does nothing? I’m malding so hard watching this right now. I can only hope the Northern Yuan army is currently marching on Khovd. Please let it be true.

105: Impending Cruzifiction

Maracaibo may have flipped back to P-B, but that’s not the real story here. Tacna is taking damage as a massive Mapuch force assaults Santa Cruz’s capital. It’s not looking good for Andres right now, as he’s got no navy to speak of and a hilariously outdated army. Peru-Bolivia have long had the worst stats of anyone, but not it’s really hitting home as they collapse like a lonely, rain-soaked cardboard box.

106: Girin and Bear It

It seems like the Manchu have somehow held off the initial wave of assaults. Girin has been starved out and is at half health, but Mukden is undamaged, and if Nurhaci can only lose Aigun right now it’d be a huge result. The only flaw with this plan is the fact that Chukchi and Japanese reinforcements alike are streaming down from the north. The Chukchi also have their UU up and running and on the frontlines where they’ll just farm XP from enemies in this type of war. Still anyone’s game in Korea though.

107: Stick It In Reverse

This might be the longest “No U” in history. Wilhelm has gathered a huge army off the Norwegian coast, and even though Helsingborg is low, Iceland is very depleted. Wilhelm’s move of bypassing Shetland with that settler is certainly a unique one, however, and I’m not sure what he hopes to achieve. Then again, given the way this war has gone, maybe I’m in no place to question German strategic choices. Also, the Marajoara/Olmec and Vandal/Tahiti wars come to a close.

108: Like We’re Gonna Die (to a) Jong

Ke$ha probably never thought she’d be invoked to describe the Malaysian invasion of indigenous Australia, but hey, that’s the CBR for you. I’ll skip on my usual Malacca-praise and just say it how it is: it looks like Mansur Shah might unironically capture a major Kulin city. The Kulin fleet is all but flotsam, and there are Jongs coming from all angles to join the fight. Wow, is all I can really say.

109: Strait-forward

A war of two halves, at least for now. Ascalon is surrounded and about to fall, but Al Qunfidhah is also being beaten with trebuchet payloads. The naval and land wars should be firmly in Cleo’s favor, with longswords now available to her also. Whilst we might not see immediate dividends for the Ptolemies, it’d be a good bet for the near future.

110: Gaffe Avoided

Iceland reclaim Helsingborg, as Germany taunt them with two settlers. Sweden, meanwhile, settle Sigtuna on Svalbard in the hopes of magically spawning some Panserbjorne to help them win. (Actually, there’s no civ mods based after His Dark Materials, which is surprising.) Honestly, I’ve no idea who’s winning this war, I think it’s Germany but it’s just a mess of triremes and embarked units. Right now all that’s happened is Germany have lost a city that they really didn’t need anyway. Iceland make peace with Jamaica without capturing May Pen. Sad!

111: A Fell Wind

If there’s a breeze, consider that my, and maybe everyone else’s, massive sighs of relief as the Neutral musketman is destroyed in the recapture of Mosfellsbaer. The New Netherlands have also settled Barnde Gat to fill out their empire too, even if Mosfellsbaer doesn’t hold. This war has overall just seriously drained both civs’ resources and allowed Iceland and the Mississippi to do whatever they want in the background, but hey, who has time for that when your lifelong rivals are right there!

112: Ahead of Oneself

In a move which will shock nobody, the Olmecs failed to make an impression on the New Netherlandish Caribbean. I’ve only just noticed, but both Cuban cities are canals, which is pretty damn cool. I’m not sure how long it’ll be before U Kix Chan gets another chance to strike out, or if it’ll even happen, especially as Rio Grande look to have resupplied very efficiently.

113: Backfire

There you have it, friends. Mansur Shah captures Coolaroo, and all William Barak’s worst nightmares come true. Even if it flips back, that’s fourteen population down the gutter, and Kulin pride obliterated to ashes on the shoreline. What an episode from Malacca. Unbelievable. MVP.

114: Retribution

What better way to take out your self-hatred than by beating the everloving snot out of a minor civ? The Kulin bring Meheti’a to half rapidly, even if Tahiti have mustered a kind of defensive line. I doubt we’ll see a Fa’a’a-esque hold here, though. Sanjo, meanwhile, is growing nicely, for our Japan-fans out there.

115: Gallia Invicta

With Nemetocenna and Sedugnon filling in the empire, Gaul is a sight to behold, even without factoring in their British holdings. Whilst that German citadel outside of Vienna is a statement of intent if I’ve ever seen one, I think it’s safe to say that Vercingetorix is currently the foremost power in Europe. Definitely an MVP runner up after Malacca in terms of the episode.

116: Full Tacna

Tacna is in the red, and the Mapuche are poised to deal the killer blow. Lima might last longer but honestly it doesn’t look like there’s any way Andres and Peru-Bolivia get out of this one barring miracle diplomacy. Even then, they’re at war with Bolivar as well (Maracaibo is still one-hp), and Paraguay are starting to loom to the east too. Forget artillery, turns out all it took to fell the Andes was a navy.

117: Coastal Engagement

As NIgeria quietly settle St Helena and enter the Race for South Georgia, Zaire and Gibeon clash around the coast of Gibeon. The border has remilitarized, and it looks like a stalemate for now, but it’s a good sign that neither civ is currently satisfied. At least for us, the bloodthirsty sub audience.

118: Limit Breaking

Surely Malacca can’t push further? Chengtang might be doable but I really doubt they can get into Yong’an or Anqing simply due to the geography. They’ve held off the Shouzhou recapture fleet and flipped Coolaroo back once since we last saw them, and the only question I have left is when they’ll kill the VOC. Taiping, though, should keep Ha Noi, so it’s not like they’ve been left toothless. Hell, if they went after the Manchu they’d probably steal a few cities.

119: For Whom Llywel’ Tolls

Good luck, is all I can say to Llywelyn. The Gauls *and* Spain redeclare on him, and the death counter has begun. How long it takes, is up in the air, but I’ve got a feeling that this is the end for Wales. It’s been a good r- actually, no. It’s been a terrible, terrible run and I’m ashamed of Wales. They settled entirely away from their accessible land and got cut up. Now they get to die, slowly, in Ireland. A fate I’d wish on nobody.

120: Tactical Operator

Now that! That is what we like to see! Clean aim, steady hands, and a beautiful snipe as Paraguay steal away Tacna from the Mapuche! Maracaibo also falls, and in a turn, Peru-Bolivia are down to one city. The fact that Paraguay and the Mapuche also have open borders is even better for Solano Lopez, as it means any diplo hits might not come into effect for a while. Commiserations for Lautaro, but it’s one rival almost entirely neutered nevertheless.

121: Nothing Changes

Back in the north, the Mississippi are about to drop two settles now the last three cities have been destroyed. Whilst we won’t see them, I can confirm they do so, and the more northern will be Mound Bottom, with Long Swamp to the south. Lovely places, I presume. We have a couple of peace deals too: Zaire and Somalia; Chola and Hejaz; and Olmec and Affiliated Tribes.

122: At Long Last

Wait, it can’t be? Oh my god, it is! Northern Yuan, are *doing something*! And, what’s more, it’s effective! That Yuan force has been quashed, and they’ve pushed back into Kaifeng! Perhaps this is the start of something special. Meanwhile, one more peace for the turn, as Paraguay secure Tacna thanks to a quick peace with Peru-Bolivia.

123: Freezer Burn

Girin is aflame, and will be nothing but ash shortly. Meanwhile, the new city of Ilan Hala is in the red, and Aigun looks to be the same. Looks like no salvation came for Nurhaci, and the only thing which might preserve Ilan Hala might be if Japan can’t get through Taiping? It’s been a rough one for the Manchu, that’s for sure. There’s also a couple more peaces, with the Chukchi ending hostility with Vietnam, and Malacca with Chola.

124: Al’s Well That Ends Well

As predicted, Al Qunfidhah and Ascalon change hands, with the former reuniting Ptolemais to the rest of the Ptolemaic empire. Mecca is under threat now as well, and it’s definitely all coming up Cleopatra right now. Hejaz look to have a really sparse inland navy, and a horde of Foreign Ops really won’t prevent the collapse of Hussein bin Ali’s empire. The Bab al-Mandab Strait is also probably going to prevent Al Qunfidhah being flipped back, especially with that one coast tile making it difficult regardless.

125: Caspian Principalities

Uzbekistan have really filled out the East Caspian fantastically, with five cities founded this episode alone. Meanwhile, Georgia have hit their UU, and Kurdistan have, some units about the place. The Uzbeks also have the small issue of unhappiness to consider, with their expansion clearly not backed up by resource or building boons. I doubt two dissident knights will cause much trouble for now, especially given Islam Karimov’s massive military, but it’s never a good sign, especially since it’ll likely lead to future razing.

126: Moments of Madness

Oh, Tin Hinan, what have you done. The Tuareg declare on Burkina Faso, in one of the most objectively suicidal maneuvers out there. They’re not alone and it’s not Thomas Sankara being handed free cities- the Ptolemies and Two Sicilies are also involved, alongside Georgia, Zanzibar, Lesotho and the Kurds, in a massive coalition war. That said, in the short term this could be very, very bad for the Tuareg, but if they can hold out, maybe this is their route back to relevancy.

127: Crossing Accomplished

I’ve already made the vandalism joke, but wow. Genseric plops down three cities on the Windward Antilles, giving the Vandals a, ‘Panormus’ advantage in any future American wars. What a perfect staging ground for the North African number-ones. Meanwhile, the Marajoara also expand further, settling Matinados, and May Pen continues to grow as Jamaica’s escape option.

128: Cornered

Andres de Santa Cruz is surrounded by blue- the ocean to one side and Paraguay to all the others. Fortunately, it doesn’t seem too likely that the Mapuche will kill him, but they could soon if they can bring that army through his former capital. For Paraguay, the next job is to reconnect these four cities with their empire proper now they’ve done the hard work of capturing a capital. South America still seems to have lots of surprises in store yet.

129: You Had Yuan Job

This looks incredible. All the Yuan naval units have disappeared in an instant. At first, I thought it was some kind of inexplicable peace, but no: Kublai Khan simply has had all his naval units killed. Girin may be gone, but the Manchu seem to have pulled off a remarkable defense, potentially making it the only casualty. We’ll have to wait and see though, as the Chukchi and Japan may always come back for another go, and Aigun is not secure by any means.

130: Engineering a Situation

Well, I know who’s in the ascendancy now: Germany. Garthabaer is taking damage, Helsingborg is in the yellow, and the North Sea is red with Wilhelm’s units. Will he push into Iceland further? You’ll have to find out next episode, as I’ll be leaving you here. Thank you very much for joining me for the last thirty turns, and I’ll see you all around! Happy CBRX, and may the stonks be ever in your favor :)

Episode 7: To Live and Die by the Tide – S2

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