Episode 1: Third Time's the Charm

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Welcome back everyone, I’m happy to introduce CBRX Season 3. We were not quite able to achieve the seamless transitions between seasons as we did with the previous two cycles, but a four month gap is still a record (and in truth the recording itself was much less). At the moment the game still does not have a winner, but it is beyond T700 and the roster is looking rather slim. Thanks to much hard work, we’ve ensured that this time around there are no embarrassing bugs hidden about and thanks to a few modifications, we are seeing no overflowing peacekeepers whatsoever so there is a likely chance we’ll have the full map in one color without resetting the game.

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The newly expanded PR team has been hard at work the days preceding this episode and when the dust settled, Rio dela Plata is the competitor tipped to perform the best this season. Now it is of course far to early for certainty, but you have several civs in the top ten spots that occupy your usual geographically favored locations. Time will tell which meet expectations, which will flop, and which will make you smile far into the future.

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Thank you once again to donators that kept up their pledges throughout the Summer break. It is a great help to keep the website running and there are bonuses for even one-time donators to the show. If you got an extra $1 lying around, we could really use it!

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Here we are sub, waiting on board ready for the slow grind towards global domination. We’ll be sitting here up all cozy hidden in the ice as we watch the madness unfold.

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On to the show proper, we begin as usual on the leftmost side of the map with Ireland, the Anglo-Dutch, the Anglo-Norse, and Brandenburg. The sparsely populated isles are contrasted with the immediately bunched up group of competitors on the continent. Brandenburg starts the game already being a fan favorite, whilst the other three feel the weight of that forecast with downcast initial ranks.

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Just south are Castille, the Normans, and Tetouan. If this part of the Mediterranean feels rather empty you would be correct as much of the coastline is up for grabs and an empty France also means that Castille has a safe little nook already in place.

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Further into Europe are Lithuania, Yugoslavia, Kievan Rus, and Vladimir. A motley crew of unlikely faces that will be at each other’s throats in the usually cramped region.

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Rounding out Europe is Khazaria as a sole Jewish representative this season. Across the Urals into Asia are the Permians, which undoubtedly have the largest open tracts of land available to them.

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Below are Turkey and Assyria. Assyria is currently being carried by their launch of their $ASS stock currently memed to high heaven, but underneath the hype is still quite a worthy contender. Turkey is a bit of a wild card, but the aforementioned open Mediterratin gives them opportunity to exploit if their immediate neighbors become too much of a bother.

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All of West Africa is Mali’s for the taking. Competitors in this region are known for nose diving fortunes, so while the number of empty tiles on screen seem appetizing, we’ll watch this space with caution.

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Eastward lies Chad, Egypt, Yemen, and Uganda. Pre-giga form Chad has strong hopes behind them, but if you know the way perhaps another one amongst these will be the African regional power.

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Southern Africa is a crowded affair. Angola, Botswana, Kilwa, and Zulu begin in close proximity. Kilwa is a big unknown that has shown to be one of the most interesting civs to include in an AI game, and having a purple color scheme attracts attention. It’s open for any of these four to come out on top though, so expect predictions amongst them to fluctuate.

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Jumping to Central Asia we have the Massagetae. Like most steppe competitors, they are expected to get big and start pillaging their neighbors. We hope that means they can keep the Permians in check for the first few hundred turns.

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Below is Afghanistan, making its return to the show. Afghanistan has the cozy mountainous landscape all to themselves so unlike before they are safe bet to challenge outside the region, or at least be a longtime turtle.

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On the other side of the steppes are Tuva, the Gokturks, and Qocho. Tuva and Gokturks are destined to be immediate rivals. If you’re looking for competitors with high potential, I would pick one of these two to go the distance. Qocho on the other hand has a different outlook. With an unenviable starting location between potential juggernauts, Qocho has to make big plays happen fast to remain in contention beyond a few episodes.

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Even further east are North Korea, the Ainu, and Mori. North Korea returns to the show courtesy of the lurker vote while the relatively obscure Mori were voted in with a highly effective and vocal campaign. The Ainu, usual runner up of previous voting terms, squeeze in hoping to look up to the Chukchi for a blueprint to similar success.

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China will be represented this season by the Han and Ming dynasties. There are plenty of excellent tiles between them, so we might not see early action to see which claims the sole Mandate of Heaven. Hoping for a similar rivalry between these two like the previous season’s two Yuans.

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To the south are Bengal and Kokang. Both competitors are exciting in that one or the other tends to grow big and strong on the expense of the other. Both have room to expand to, but do not be surprised if they settle closer to each other.

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Lonely Pandya lies on the southern tip of the Indian subcontinent. Pandya is guaranteed having this little corner of the map as their own, but they will have to break out eventually and hope Afghanistan or Bengal do not trap them in too early in the game.

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Back to Southeast Asia we have Cambodia and the Philippines. The Philippines has a tall order ahead of them as there are naval powers like the Mori ready to snatch their islands away and Cambodia is sure to take the inland tiles early.

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Below are Indonesia, Timor-Leste, and the long awaited Yolngu. No disguising the fact that Timor-Leste has the worst starting location this season, being in a small island close to two competitors with naval biases. Yolngu has a large stretch of Australia to themselves, but Indonesia might decide to take some of their turf as soon as they dust off Timor-Leste.

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The Wiradjuri and the Maori round out Oceania. While both of these civs on paper look like they should have a breeze of an early game to bulk up to superpower status, we have been left rather wanting by their performances. However, this is not a cause for concern, as we might just have a more exciting contest for the Pacific to look forward to.

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Now onto the Americas we have the Kwakwaka'wakw (expect to have your Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V ready when writing about these lads) and the Cree. The Cree sport a fancy new icon, and a slightly nerfed starting region due to stomping their way through the tests. The Kwakwaka'wakw on the other hand have a mostly ocean view between mountains that might prove to contain them along the coast Chile style.

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Below we have the tight knit pack of the Modoc, the Mohave, the Arapaho, and the Comanche.One of these competitors is destined for greatness but the tests did not favor any one of these civs over the other, so expect plenty of meatgrinders along rough terrain.

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On the northeast corner of the Americas is Vermont and Greenland. On paper Vermont looks like the favored competitor, but Greenland has thus far surprised nearly everyone who has been keeping up on Discord with test previews. The seal hunters will terrorize these parts in short time.

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Across the empty Great Plains are the U.S.A. and the Seminole. There is a strong feeling of manifest destiny floating around these parts, and the Seminole are technically our Caribbean representative, so it might be quite here for a bit while cities are settled.

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In a nice change to the Anahuac and Central America region we have wel urm Central America. A conglomerate of all the Central American countries for their brief confederation, this is also our quirky ‘atheist’ civ which gains bonuses getting rid of believers. Below them are the long awaited Muisca which finally compete in the CBR to show us who have the best drip.

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In the Amazon basin we have the Kayapó and Brazil. The Kayapó might be this season’s Kuikuro analog and Brazil our Brazil analog. We are not sure yet if either we are going to Brazil or Brazil will once again come to us but the time for carnival is far away for now.

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And finally, we have the Inca, Chile, and Rio dele Plata (totally not Argentina). In a sense, we have a very familiar South America, but with a twist. In particular we have a switcheroo with Inca this time around as the naval focused power and Chile the shy turtle, so throw everything you remember of them previously from the show.

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The Next Turn button is clicked and our first piece of action is Turkey immediately founding the religion of Sunni in Ankara. To be expected given their faith bonuses when units are promoted and it is neat interaction given our setup providing the free starting units.

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The first new settlement is the city of Fez by the Tetouan. Tetouan should keep this up, being the first to many things (expect maybe being the first eliminated).

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The Anglo-Norse unfortunately are ignoring the absolutely vacant Scandinavia and send their first settler towards the continent. Brandenburg has easy clay to gain if this will be the case.

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America moves southward along the coast and founds New York in a spot that Seminole looked to have contested with their own settler. Washington says first come first serve to Micanopy as the Seminole will have to look elsewhere.

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Egypt takes the Nile Delta as Chad moves into the desert to make use of some of their bonuses.

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Han settles along the Yellow River while their northern neighbors all send settlers in opposite directions. No forward settles in this region this time around.

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However it is somewhat more cramped in South America. Given the tight space I would not say this is forward settling persay, but Chile already feeling the squeeze on T4.

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Heartwarming to see Timor-Leste settle away in safety as Indonesia looks to Sumarta and the Yolngu with the city of Milingimbi.

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Botswana and Zulu would be expected to take a West-East divide of their domain, but the initial settlements might give a hint that this run will be a North-South partition between them.

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Kievan Rus and Lithuania settle their first cities as Vladmir has not even ventured their settler outside their city border. No forward settlements seems to be the play here and these civs might pay nice with each other for now.

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Kokang moves into the mostly open southern China and Bengal hopes to claim northern India before Pandya gets any ideas.

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North Korea ventures outside the peninsula as Ainu also venture perfectly onto the continent. Ainu may have the island to themselves, but an early foothold will do them more good.

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The Kwakwaka'wakw predictably stick to Cascadia for now as the Cree inch in their direction. The Modoc and the Araphao both look southward to keep their own distance from Cree as well.

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Ireland has conquered the Isles, job well done lads. In all seriousness, it looks to be a comfortable first one hundred turns for them is they take more of Albion while the Anglo-Dutch eye Gaul instead.

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Yugosalvia and the Anglo-Norse have contained Brandenburg already in a joint effort. Whether it will work out for them remains to be seen. The Normans also feel advantages and make use of everyone having embarkmentation by settling Greece.

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Uguanda makes the extra effort to deny Yemen sending them a strong signal of intent through their first settlement. Yemen can still settle close by, but it will not be the quiet neighborhood they were hoping for.

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While most civs have settled already, the Comanche are going on a quite a journey. Their settler crosses the length of the Great Plains and looks to caugivese America some early competition.

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Safe settlements from Central America and the Muisca. Their respective domains are safe for now, so do not expect much of the camera glancing over here.

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The one civ with all the land at their disposal decides to settle an adjacent mountain city in the Urals. It’s a strong defensible settlement I suppose, and having both sides of the Urals seems responsible, but feel they should have been more bold.

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Chile does not pull off a Chile and goes into Patagonia. Credit to them this is the best they can do to not be suffocated though the city looks awfully vulnerable.

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The Wiradjuri make inroads into the middle of their continent. The race to Urulu is on, even if both these civs do not know it yet.

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Unexpectedly the Philippines forward settle Cambodia and send a defense force to fortify their claim on the mainland. It is quite the bold move, but it can come with a nice reward. Cambodia looks to settle northwards though the settler might have been going for Cavite el Viejo’s location.

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Having been blocked, Yemen looks to the Horn of Africa for better refuge. Looking at the map it seems like the area in and around Oman would have been a better play, but with Aden they can boss around the Red Sea in the future.

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This region of the map already looks full as new settlements are propped up in the lands between the four competitors. The Commanche still do not have a second city due to their rogue settler, but they still look like they have plenty of available settlement locations in the future.

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Our first Great Person highlight of the game comes courtesy of the birth of Heinz Guderian in the Chad domain. War does not look like it's on the menu for now but Heinz tends to have a long shelf life .

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Roman von Ungern Sternberg appears in Assyria offering Sammuramat advice on how to unite all of Mesopotamia with just a ragtag group of lads he found lying about. Might be a tempting offer since the Assyrian military looks nonexistent despite the early appear of their Sapper UU.

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Bradenburg took the settling affront seriously, and proceeds to quickly settle a second and third city to make sure more of their turf was not taken. While Brandeburg is already boxed in, their rivals seem content in keeping their outposts undefended.

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Shimadzu Yoshihiro is welcomed by Cambodia to help unseat the Filipino interlopers. While the Philippines do not have a stellar garrison, it will take much more form Cambodia to threaten them.

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The Yolngu have their fearsome Lippa-lippa UU scouting the archipelago for juicy settlement spots. This would be fine, if it were not for having so much land to explore closer to home. A scattering of Lippa-lippas though would be more than enough to take Timor-Leste’s cities off their hands, though.

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Oh my, the Comanche are on a vision quest of their own as their settler enters the Atlantic heading to the unknown. Typically civs are content settling close by, but this might just be the most extreme case of dissatisfaction for new pastures from a civ yet. On screen is also Vermont’s second city of Montpelier.

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The Comanche are in good company it seems as the Qocho also dumbfoungly chose to settle their second city of Beshbaliq right at the Permians doorstep. Already Qocho needed a stellar start to keep up, but they went to poke the bear and choose a tundra city when anywhere else in between would have been enough. .

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Central America chose for their Pantheon belief Arboreal Communion, which goes splendid with all the forested tiles surrounding them. The civ that should not be founding a religion might just have a wealth of Faith from tiles soon.

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Baybars is born in the Cree domain as they begin to bulk up. It does not look a third settlement is on the way as they invest in two caravans instead.

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The Gokturks found the religion of Tengriism and have a settler ready to go.

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Kilwa settle Zanzibar not far from its IRL location in the direction of Uganda and Zulu likewise settle in their direction. Kilwa is not particularly known for their cheeses, but they pick the Pantheon belief of Blessed be the Cheesemakers as they hope to pick up some bonuses from the almost no pastures to be found here.

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The Arapaho chose the Pantheon belief of *checks notes* Nationalism Animals?? Well what seems to have occurred is that the SQL command for adding the Spirit ideology looks for the word Spirit and replaces it with Nationalism when certain RtP modules are active so this belief’s text was caught up in that. But it is nice to think that the Arapaho have instead proclaimed that all animals in their domain are state property instead.

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The civ with the (neary) all Open Land picks the Pantheon belief of Open Sky to compliment their view of their cosmos. It will be a good bonus for the abundant Plain tiles waiting for their settlers to come by.

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Timor-Leste with the big play! They choose the Pantheon belief of God of the Sea which gives them a sizable boost to their Production woes. They might not be so hopeless after all.

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While most religions are settle bubbling up, Sunni is already enhanced. Turkey might be content playing the religion game for now as they build up a military and have no settler out exploring.

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Qocho pick the Pantheon belif of Desert Folklore, which compliments their starting location well. Too bad they barely have any claimed desert tiles presently…

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The Wiradjuri again settle closer in the direction of the Yolngu. This is quite the statement, as they could have picked any of the dozen free locations around them but instead are going to play bold. Fair play to them if it works out.

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Vermont picks the Pantheon belief of Earth Mother as they hope to bolster up their capital city. A modest if unexciting choice.

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The first wonder of the game goes to Ireland with the Göbekli Tepe being built in Dublin. Göbekli Tepe provide a base 3 Faith per turn and each source of Stone and Marble worked by Dublin will provide +4 Faith, up from +2 the previous season (I should post the rebalanced Wonders info on the sub soon).

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The Comanche are not far behind and grab for themselves Stonehedge which provides the nice 5 Faith per turn and the start of accumulating Great Engineer points. Seems that playing tall is their future in this game.

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The Kayapó choose the Pantheon belief of Sacred Faith which provides them extra Faith from Jungle tiles (they already get Jungle bonuses). Stacking up is not bad, and we should see a strong faith output from them very soon.

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The Anglo-Dutch pick the very niche Pantheon belif of Sacred Groves, which provide a huge Faith boost for the nearly known Marash tiles. The swamp people were the only ones to make use of this well, so glad they picked this belief up.

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Vladmir picks the Pantheon belief of Goddess of Festivals as they hope to get some nice plantation bonuses. Certainly nothing to feel festive about for now, though.

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Gokturks settle a third city as Maurice of Nassu enlists with North Korea in preparation of any future campaigns.

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Central America makes the upgrade to found the religion of Catholicism. The one civ that might not need to found a religion did, so we’ll see how the interplay with their bonuses goes once their uniques come online in the mid-game (if they make it that far).

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The Inca establish the first Government of the game courtesy of building Sargon’s Palace. They pick a Monarchy to enshrine Tupac Yupanqui as their most excellent monarch.

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In a sad arrangement for those looking forward to early conflict in South America, Chile and Rio dela Plata come together in friendship. The arrangement seems highly beneficial to Chile, which can expand safely for now in the Southern Cone without worry.

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Kievan Rus lives up to their cultural legacy by building the Great Library. It is a nice early gain to tech up against their neighbors (plus it looks lovely on the southside of the Kyiv).

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The Anglo-Dutch found the religion of Lutheranism in The Hague. Not much religious competition in this region, but they really need to get to building up a military.

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Timor-Leste founds Arianism on the back of a good religious start thanks to their Pantheon.

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The first war of the game comes and it is between Qocho and Han. Han is the aggressor as a sizable army descends upon Qarakhoja. It is not looking good at all for Qocho.

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We bring the first episode of the season to a close with a shot of the crowding western North America. The Arapaho have seized more bison as part of the collectized inventory as the Cree look to expand southwards. We’ll catch everyone back here on CBR.tv next week. This episode was a bit lengthier than what we should expect moving forward given the initial intros, so expect faster reads this season. If you would like to narrate an episode, be sure to sign-up on the sub.

Episode 1: Third Time's the Charm – S3

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