Episode 20: The Past That Does Not Forget – S3

March 01, 2023

Bulletproof Cookie

Abstract

An age of new ideals and principles takes root in this fragile world. Desperacy to not be left behind and a need to grow stronger will make or break empires of every size.

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1: Windows 95 Boot Up Sound

The 20th episode spectacle of the Civ Battle Royale Season Three Saga promises to continue where we left off last episode and build on the suspense, drama, anticipation and madness that has enveloped the cylinder. As your narration guide in these next 12 turns, I have a sworn duty to tour you through this album and images and perhaps make sense of everything that is happening.*

(DISCLAIMER: Narrator Bulletproof_Cookie may or may not actually cover literally everything happening on each slide, though hopes to at least do so for the most notable events.)

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2: This Looks Different..

Move over, Vihreaa, mapmaking has a new kid on the block! Fiona has produced an excellent map, not just highlighting the cities of each empire and their names, but also highlighting the names of each civ’s government. Well done.

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3: Oh, You’re Approaching Me?

ExplosiveWatermelon has made a proposal to update the war declaration icon for future seasons of the CBRX to a more Jojo meme-inspired design in the hopes that it will help narrators understand who is actually the one declaring war of the two civs.

But yeah, worth reminding all future narrators once again.. When you see the war declaration icon (the one with the two civs side by side), it is the one on the right side of the icon that is declaring the war, not the civ on the left side. Why Firaxis designed it this way is beyond me, but just treat the icon like you’re reading a manga, I guess. Backwards.

I’m not sure which is the aggressor in terms of the making peace icon, but it is also weird to me that the notification text for said icon basically reads “The civ on the bottom half of the icon has made peace with the civ on the top half of the icon”.

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4: Want Some Ko-Fi?

We must of course highlight the loyal patrons of the sub that continue to support those who help make the CBRX series a reality. Good work, soldiers!

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5: Onepac, Tupac, Threepac, FourPac…

The power rankers have been hard pressed between whether Turkey, Cree or Tuva should be number 1 this week but ultimately went with Turkey. With that said, the Inca shouldn’t be slept on as despite being technologically inferior to one of their neighbors they’ve pushed out of their region with deeper expansion into Oceania. If they can continue their aggressiveness, I could see Tupac winning the hearts of the PR team and the number 1 spot in the coming episodes.

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6: American Encirclement

And with that, we immediately waste no time getting to the juicy bits of tonight’s steak as the American assault on what’s left of The Seminole civilization appears to be nearing its climax. The constant bombardment of Cuscowilla from military units in their territory is causing a population loss for Micanopy’s remaining city. With plenty of knights and ship vessels ready to storm the city, Seminole supporters may wish to prime their F keys for the inevitable.

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7: Coco for Cocoa Puffs

News has reached across the Brandenburg empire of the emergence of a local businesswoman named Coco Chanel. She has reportedly been making a name for herself (and plenty of money) as a fashion designer, as well as expanding her business into handbags and perfume. It is rumored even Frederick-WIlliam II has been seen on occasion carrying around a small bottle of her Chanel No. 5 product. Whether he plans to give it to a loved one or just uses it on himself is another mystery, though.

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08: Hastening Climate Change

East of Brandenburg, Yaroslavl falls to the Lithuanian state, where Gediminas has ordered for the captured city to be burned down. It is unknown whether it is to send a message to the people of Vladimir, because the city has deemed to be logistically and strategically useless or because Gediminas has deemed the location too cold and hopes starting a few fires will warm the surrounding climate for a possible resettlement.

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09: Grand Master Sex-Sayy(ida)

It’s a bad start to the episode for Tetouan fans as the capital falls to Mali’s forces.The remaining naval forces that surround the city hope to pull something off to flip back the city but it seems very unlikely they will be successful…

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10: And Then Marrakech and Sale Split Up

… A fact that Tetouan Grandmaster Sayyida al-Hurra is aware of and decides not to further endanger whatever military he still has and calls upon a peace treaty between the two civilizations.

Unfortunately for Sayyida, President Sundiata Keita proves to be bullish in the negotiations and forces Sayyida to cede the city of Meknes to him as well, leaving two cities split apart from each other in Marrakech and Sale.

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11: Three Ain’t Enough Man, I Need Five (Great Generals)

As America looks to expand south, their most northern western city Philadelphia faces a wave of Cree land units advancing into American territory, led by General Jan Karol Chodkiewicz (known in real life as a Lithuanian military commander who fought in wars against Sweden and The Ottomans).

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12: Nar Le, Huh?

I have some good and bad news for Massagetae fans. The good news is that they have retaken their capital Jaxartes.

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13: You Get A Little, You Give A Little

The bad news is not only did they immediately lose it back to the Permians, but Oxus was also captured by Tuva, and Chorasmia looks certain to fall within a turn or two’s time. It is all coming down for Tomyris.

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14: A Calculated Blunder

Across the other side of the Permian Empire, a Valdimirian Great Engineer arrives named Blaise Pascal, a mathematician and inventor of the mechanical calculator. Vsevolod opts to send him to the front lines for some reason, either to plan down a manufactory close to Suzdal or maybe because Vsevolod wants to conscript its greatest thinkers with no military training to their deaths.

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15: We Murdered A Civilization Today

And thus, the Seminole capital of Cuscowilla falls to America, with only a damaged Pikemen Unit what’s left of the Seminole military as it looks on with a defeated response. The remaining soldiers ask themselves “Where? Where did it all go wrong?”

Sadly for the Seminole, things literally all went wrong at the very beginning when America beat them to a forward settle of each other in the opening turns of the game, and Micanopy was never able to course correct after that. America attacked them not long after, and it was evident their poor statistics at the crucial early stages of the game were going to dampen whatever chances they had of emerging as a power. They stupidly gave away Apopka to Roosevelt after almost losing it to the fucking Commanche and never got back to 2 cities ever again aft Episode 4. They outlasted almost a dozen civs before Roosevelt finally came to finish them off and they were arguably one of the 3 or 5 worst performing civs in this entire season.

Then again, what did you expect from a civ whose starting location was Florida?

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16: “Yes, We’re Stable, Just Don’t Mention The War!”

Oviedo goes back into the hands of Isabllea and the Irish don’t seem to have an immediate way back into the city just yet. Instead, Irish forces start pushing to take the Greenlandic city of Christianshab, though the Castillian advance south of the British Isles could disrupt Michael’s chances.

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17: I Can See A Faint -23

Central America manages to flip Managua from The Muisca, though Nemequene still has enough units close to the city capable enough of retaking it. The blockade of Guatemala City remains, with no chance to bombard the city with frigates just yet.

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18: The First Ideology Of The Game

With the construction of factories in at least three of its cities, ideologies come into play for the first time in this game as Raoni Metuktire has chosen to adopt the Liberalism ideology for the Kayapo people. Assuming that Liberalism is just a renamed Freedom (and the tenants are exactly the same as the base game’s), it should give a bigger boost to smaller civs than the bigger ones, and given that the goal of this game is to conquer everyone else, that sounds like a recipe for disaster should  it become the world’s leading ideology.

But hey, it allows Kayapo the opportunity to grow faster and try to zoom past the tech tree quicker, so the smart get smarter, I guess.

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19: “Never Thought I’d Be Doing Business With An Ashanti.”

The Mali Empire’s fortunes seem to continue with the birth of a great merchant named Osei Tutu. I am assuming this is referring to Osei Kofi Tutu I who was one of the founders of the Ashanti Empire. Makes sense given the geological location of the Ashanti IRL.

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20: Catapult Me back Into The Game, Please

Tomyris is not one to go down without a fight as her dwindling army manages to flip back Oxus even if the chances of it flipping back are likely. Chorasmia manages to hold the defense of the city even as its population slowly starves.

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21: Bi Star Incoming

News spreads through the Cree Empire of a rock band that’s been playing concerts in Loon River. Big Star, an influential American band from the 1970s, has reportedly even caught the attention of a great Cree artist, too.

There were also some rumblings of a naval skirmish between the Cree and The Mohave and an advancing army surrounding Agawesh, which caught Poundmaker by surprise.

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22: “WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER!”

Roosevelt was hopeful to now focus his military efforts up north, only to receive news that the Seminole Pikeman near Cuscowilla had managed to rally up a small resistance in the outskirts of the city. “Barbarians!” Roosevelt muttered to himself as he ordered several knights and ranged naval vessels to deal with the issue.

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23: Baltimore Than It Could Handle

As that is going on, the American city of Baltimore located in north Scotland is being attacked by an Irish wave. Only a frigate, trebuchet and the city’s own defenses are what’s available to repel the forces.

And  what’s this? Another ideology adopted?

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24: Nationalism Is My Spirit Animal

In addition to their base ideology, each civilization can also adopt a Spirit ideology too. The Kayapo have chosen the Nationalism ideology to go alongside Liberalism.

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25: Oh, Mohave!

The attack on Agawesh’s city defense is in full swing, the charge being led by general El Cid (a castilian knight and warlord from Medieval Spain). Irataba has also ordered several ships to sink the Cree’s navy near Wabasca. It would appear they are not merely interested in just one undefended city.

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26: Composite Compilation

The Permians have surrounded the city of Telsiai with their Unique Unit the Batyrs. It looks certain to fall and Upyte could be next on the bear’s plate.

Most of Lithuania’s forces in the screenshot are more focused in the offense against Valdimir, the latter of which is hoping the clump of composite bowmen will be enough to protect T’ver from possibly falling.

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27: Wagga Mole

As we look on to the north of Australia, it appears Timor-Leste is bombarding the port of Wagga Wagga with Frigates and a Galleon which is stationed and ready to move in once the city’s defenses have crumbled.

Hey, wasn’t there a city named Doomut where that Mohave settler is standing? I guess not anymore (the Inca must have razed it upon capturing).

Wagga Wagga is still one of the best city names to say out loud 5 times fast. WAGGA WAGGA! WAGGA WAGGA! WAGGA WAGGA! WAGGA WAGGA! WAGGA WAGGA!

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28: Plains, Hill

And Tuva takes back Oxus and finally nabs Chorasmia from the Massagetae. With only one melee unit left in this screenshot, I am certain Tomyris is not getting these cities back ever again.

I am also just realizing that their composites are getting shot at by the puppeted city of Izhma.

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29: How To Build For Forty Forts

The Anglo-Dutch have planted a lot of defensive forts inside their territory in the hopes they will help William III keep out invaders, but Brandenburg have been planting the far superior citadels to steal territory from The Hague. This will make a future invasion far easier for Frederick-William I.

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30: Skipping The Sale And Just Taking It Instead

And on the subject of citadeling, the Normans have joined in on the fun by citadeling Sale, just to add insult to injury. It has been a horrible episode for Sayyida al-Hurra.

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31: Philly Phil

Things are still not looking good for Roosevelt up north as Philadelphia has very little to defend itself now and the Cree’s land forces are slowly approaching the city.

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32: I’m Giving You A Raze

As that is going on, Agawesh has fallen and Irataba has chosen to set the city ablaze to send a message to Poundmaker.

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33: T.V. Time

News makes the round of another Great merchant with Brandenburg territory, this time of T.V. Soong, who was a Chinese businessman and politician. Frederick-William is hoping he will make a useful political figure for his government.

If you are paying attention to your right-hand side, you’d have noticed something…

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34: Amsterdammit

Yes, Yugoslavia has launched an attack on the Anglo-Dutch. The main target appears to be Amsterdam. Josip Broz Tito will be banking on a successful conquest here if he wishes to compete with his neighbors.

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35: Neglection Isn’t Good

But it appears Yugoslavia’s african settlements have been left pretty unguarded as a pack of Mali Ton-Tigis advance on the city of Split, which seems pretty properly named given the isolation of it and Pristina to the rest of Yugoslavia..

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36: Turn 278 Degrees Left

Wagga Wagga is barely holding on while an Incan Yamp Ranuncha (a unique Great Admiral replacement) who goes by the name Yampu Runancha sails just outside Incan waters escorted by a Galleon.The Incan navy is now looking to regroup to continue west to its next target, Yarra Wudda.

… Which is also a fun city name to say out loud five times fast! YARRA WUDDA! YARRA WUDDA! YARRA WUDDA! YARRA WUDDA! YARRA WUDDA!

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37: Holy Guatemala (City)

And Managua is back in Nemequene’s hands. But things are looking much worse than a few turns ago for Francisco Morazon as not only is the enemy fleet approaching Sonsonate but a surge of Crossbowmen are obliterating the health of Guatemala City. If not careful, Central America could just be just San Salvador.

In other news, the revolt in Cuscowilla has been successfully dealt with.

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38: Un-Vladmired

The Permians take Telsiai and have been given the order to set it ablaze by Azykay. Upyte is now all alone with its best defense being the mountains by its side stunting the effectiveness of a flanked attack.

Also worth pointing out that the Vladimir capital is not at full health in this slide, meaning that Lithuania’s attack on the city itself has begun.

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39: Babylonian Cameo

We now take a brief break from the madness to compare governments of the remaining civs. They may no longer have any cities, but King WIllie Seaweed still has a kingdom to rule, I guess. How one can rule a kingdom without any land, I do not know. Guess that is why they call it a Monarchy-in-Exile.

Does that also mean we as a sub have exiled Nebuchadnezzar II? Or do we alongside Neb live in exile from the rest of the cylinder?

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40: Bow Down To The Queen

I get the feeling I am supposed to be focusing on the other governments, but I am way more interested in how these monarchy-in-exiles would work in this world. How does King Micanopy feel that his last city fell, and in response its citizens revolted only to be swat down by the American army?

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41: A Diplomat Of The People

More government screenshots. I guess Nemequene is known as the diplomat to his people, I don’t see it in his current war in Central America, unless his method diplomacy is just “let us negotiate, you concede your cities, and I’ll live you live”.

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42: The Tribal Chief

And our screenshot shows us that after adopting Liberalism and Nationalism, Raoni Metuktire is now referred to as Raoni, Son of Heaven, by the Will of the People, Chief of Kayapo.

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43: Railroading Everyone’s Chances At Building World Wonders

And now let’s go into the IGE (In-Game Editor) to check on the tech paths of certain civilizations. We’ll start with our Science leaders, the Kayapo Confederacy, who are midway into the Industrial Era, having already researched Romanticism, Industrialization, and Archeology. They have neglected the bottom end of the Enlightened Era tree for now, but it’s not like they currently need the extra growth or defense with their comparatively high population cities and jungle terrain.

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44: When Poundmaker’s Industrial Theme Starts Playing

To put into perspective how far ahead Kayapo are compared to the other frontrunners, this is the tech tree of the Cree, who have barely made it into the Industrial era but have yet to discover Acoustics.

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45: Chile Has Uranium Near Their Capital

Then there is the Tuva, who have only discovered one Enlightenment Era tech so far in Navigation. It is worth pointing out that Tuva is located in-land in the middle of North Asia so it’s not like they’re benefitting much right now from frigates.

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46: Natural History’s My Domain

Timor-Leste’s tech tree shows they have discovered Navigation (which makes complete sense given their a coastal civ), Economics and Natural History. I’m beginning to notice a lot of civs seem to be neglecting Flintlock, Acoustics and Architecture.

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47: Coal-ture All Around Us

Yikes, I didn’t realize how badly the Permians were doing in the Science race until I saw this screenshot. They have only managed to discover seven of the twelves Renaissance techs and haven’t even entered the Enlightenment Era yet. They better get their science sorted if they want to be credible threats in the late game.

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48: Is that A Source Of Wheat That Hasn’t Been Improved At This Stage In The Game?

Brandenburg has not done much better, though they have at least researched Scientific Theory for those Public Schools.

I would have thought they might have also invested a bit more into naval tech given a large part of their cities are coastal.

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49: Hans Off My Sovereignty

Han seems to have opted to research Chemistry to get access to cannons, but they have yet to discover Humanism. They too have Navigation for they have access to frigates so they can defend their coastal territory (and possibly expand it).

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50: We’re Aren’t An Enlightened Bunch

The Wiradjuri are still in the Renaissance Era and are one of the few to have actually researched Acoustics. Given their conflict with Timor-Leste, they should probably be going for Navigation.

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51: When The Graveyard Needs Extra Fortification

Lastly, we get a look at Afghanistan’s tech tree. They’ve gone for the bottom of the tree instead and have discovered Fortification.

I’m not sure why Imperialism is being highlighted since the Afghans have yet to research it, so I’m assuming the cursor was left there by accident. I do like the Weight houses for the extra gold they bring (they work similarly to Markets and Banks) and Cuirassiers are decent mounted units (you may have seen a few in Kayapo’s territory).

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52: Getting Musk-y In Here

Alright, back to the action. Vsevolod comes to his senses and realizes sending their Great Engineer to get killed/captured is not the best use of it and instead directs Pascal over to Adana.

And absolutely nothing else to see on this slide, no siree bob, definitely no Great People being highlighted nearby Atil.

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53: The Irish Crossing

The battle for Oviedo rages on as Ireland tries another push to flip the city, while a notable number of American ships are a short distance away from Tralee and Christianshab.

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54: Count The Number Of Brandenburg Galleons (I’m Not Doing It)

Unfortunately for the American fleet, the naval action they should be a part of is located at Baltimore, which is being ambushed by the Irish invaders.

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55: Storm The Capital

The inability to control their happiness has led Lithuania to experience an uprising in the fields of the capital Vilnius in the form of knights who have pillaged the local trading posts in protest. Lithuania is not helped by the fact most of their army is busy in the war against Vladimir.

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56: Too Ming-y For Those Tiles

Kim Il-Sung decides to plant a citadel on the two-tile island south of Chongjin to take control of the surrounding waters east of it, making Kaifeng look more cramped than it probably is.

In northern Japan, Shakushain can only look out of his palace from Usukeshi and hope that they don’t come for him, again.

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57: “Quick, We Have Strength In Numbers!”

“The time to strike is now!” belts Jose de San Martin as he orders his men to charge straight at Machu, declaring war on The Inca. He really didn’t have a choice if he wishes to get back in the race and Machu and Sao Salvador are pretty much unguarded right now. If he is to take either city, it could come at a bloody cost.

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58: Well, That’s A Goner

Oh boy, things are not looking good for the Cree, as they appear to be a victim of a growing coalition as the cylinder grows concerned after their recent conquests of the Kwakwaka’wakw. Already at war with America and the Mohave, they have another the Gokturks to worry about too as Bumin Qaghan declares war. More than likely the first city they will attack will be Tzatsisnukomi as it's the closest city as well as completely defenseless.

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59: Splitting Headache

Split is surrounded and sent to the yellow by the Mali army as a few Yugoslavian reinforcements arrive to try and fend off the invasion. The Normans also try something against Chad but Aouzou is well-fortified with ranged units.

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60: DON’T PANIC, DON’T PANIC, DON’T PANIC…

Managua has been flipped back and forth by both civs but it looks like it is staying with the Muisca for good now. And it doesn’t appear Guatemala City will be able to hold on much longer. Central America appears to be at the point of collapsing.

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61: I Am Making The Audio Narrator’s Job Harder Than It Should Be

The Incan fleet moves in to assault multiple targets. Horahora isn’t currently in danger of being flipped as most of the ships are sailing towards Eugowra. As this happens, The Maori are eyeing another settlement on the island northwest of Whatiwhatihoe.

(… HORAHORA! HORAHORA! HORAHORA! HORAHORA! HORAHORA!)

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62: Wally With The Tralee

Only a small portion of the American armada for whatever reason sails up to Tralee to start the attack while their Great Admiral is sailing all by itself. Ireland has also neglected reinforcing Tralee, with most of their military located in Britain. Baltimore has also recovered some of its health, implying the Irish offense over there is weakening.

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63: Htin Park Keng The Bus

Things have been relatively quiet in South Asia, but here we see Afghanistan’s attempt at invading Kokang this episode, but it’s proving difficult to traverse through the choke point to launch any reasonably effective assault on Htin Par Keng. Such are the benefits of being surrounded by harsh terrain such as mountains.

And things must not be rosy over in Bengal if a Landskecht is uprising for whatever reason he may have.

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64: Who Explores The Explorers?

Yugoslavian explorers come from the west to evaluate the situation in Lithuania, where they are still making a push to set things up for a bombardment on the city defenses of T’ver and the Vladimir capital itself. Elsewhere, a Lithuanian musketman manages to recapture Telsiai before the city could burn to rubble. Can the liberated city hold off another onslaught?

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65: Machu Madness

News has quickly reached Tupac Yupanqui of the Río de la Planta invasión, and he is able to call up a small force of units to defend Machu. You can really start to see the difference in techs discovered between the two civs as Rio de la Plata are still housing composites and regular horsemen. Sorry, Jose, but that’s not going to cut it at this stage of the game. Your army is pretty much obsolete now, and that Chilean wave of Crossbowmen would easily mow it down. Still, you can’t blame them for trying. It’s now or never time for the civ that was once ranked 1st in the pregame Power Rankings.

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66: Could Use A Lozen(ger)

Despite fighting wars on three fronts, the Cree continue to put pressure on Philadelphia as it enters the red. The efforts of the men in battle have called for a new Great General to be assigned. Lozen, who in real life was a warrior and prophet of the Chihenne Chiricahua Apache that (legends say) used her powers to learn the movements of the enemy, is currently stationed at Sturgeon Lake, and Poundmaker will be hoping to make the most of her abilities.

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67: Tzats Gonna Fall

Poundmaker doesn’t really need Lozen to predict where Qaghan’s army will strike first. As assumed, the Gokturks have gone after the isolated city of Tzatsisnukomi, and it really doesn’t look like the Cannon and the Frigate will be enough to repel the attack.

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68: Yarra Goner

The coastal cities of the Wiradjuri Empire north of Australia are not doing well. The Incan fleet has begun to concentrate firing at Yarra Wudda and Eugowra looks to be next in line. And Wagga Wagga is only holding on thanks to a lack of Timor-Leste melee units around to take the city.

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69: Sugar (Requires Calendar), Spice (Requires Calendar), And Everything Nice (Probably Requires Calendar)

And with that, Guatemala City falls! Can Francisco take back the capital? Possibly, but the outlook still doesn’t look good. And Sonsonate is now on the back hand of a beatdown by the Muisca fleet.

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70: Available For Shipping

Kayapo continues to use its Science to snipe as many Enlightenment Era World Wonders as it can, with the Kronborg joining his collection. It could be a useful wonder for Raoni to break out of South America as it gives 25 additional hitpoints to all coastal cities in the empire and an extra 50% production towards naval units in the city it is built (Ubate).

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71: Frigate Spinner

Sure enough, The Maori have settled the new city of Taumamari to bolster their city count. The Incan Empire, meanwhile, wish to bolster theirs’ by capturing Yarra Wudda and EugoWra, the latter of which is close to falling.

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72: Son, Son Ate

The Muisca do indeed take Sonsonate, but opt to burn its population down while they begin to close in on San Salvador. Central America does manage to flip back their capital but its still vulnerable to being recaptured.

Inspired by the revolt in Cuscowilla, the Seminole descendants rise up within the outskirts of Loxahatchee but are too quickly dispatched of.

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73: Only A Moron Would’ve Have Settle There

Do you remember the Lithuanian city of Rokiskis that was settled in North Siberia?

Well, it’s Tuva’s now. Deal with it.

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74: Found My Melee Unit

They got there in the end. Timor-Leste has captured Wagga Wagga. But it looks like Milingimbi is being attacked back on mainland Australia. We can’t get good luck on this slide, but you can see the health bar.

Tupac meanwhile has been busy. Yarra Wudda is now his with Eugowra soon to follow. That wasn’t the only city the Inca captured by the way, as that Galleon that was close to Guatemala City in the last slide with Central America has managed to capture it!

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75: Wabasca In My Glory

The Mohave are making a move towards taking Wabasca from the Cree. It’s in the red with several Privateers and Galleons ready to snipe it.

In other developments, Tomyris finally accepts defeat and makes peace with Asykay. Take a close look at the mini map and you’ll see it wasn’t just a white peace deal.

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76: Gotta Be Inca To Winca

Here is the confirmation that Guatemala City is Tupac’s for now. The chances of it flipping back to white and blue aren’t zero, but Francisco’s army seems pretty much spent at this point. Nemequene is kicking himself for letting that one slip, so it will now be taking out its frustration against San Salvador. Also, Sonsonate is no longer being razed.

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77: Forced To Hang Out With The Other Rump Around

During the peace negotiations, Azykay was dead set on Tomyris ceding the city of Arys to end the war and managed to get his way. This leaves Tomyris with the only city left to her name in Asir, which neighbors another rumped city state in Tamantarkham (where Bulan of the former Khazarian Empire resides). All that is left for both of them is the waiting game before getting picked off once and for all.

(Am sad that Tomyris couldn’t be more of a major player in this game, by the way. I was really pulling for the Massagetae to be this game’s Central Asia’s big power, but it was not meant to be.)

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78: The Outback Is Ours

Oh dear, all that time wrestling with Wagga Wagga and the Wiradjuri managed to take Milingimbi while Xanana was distracted. With military stationed outside of Yirrkala as well, Xanana will need to get its forces back to mainland Australia to defend its remaining cities or Timor-Leste will be pushed out of the continent.

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79: Phil Joins The Cree

The Cree succeed in capturing Philadelphia from America in the only war they are currently on the offensive. There is still the possibility of it being flipped back, but the city should end up firmly in Poundmaker’s control.

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80: One Step Closer To The Outback

With Eugowra falling to the Inca, Windradyne sends a lone Galleon to its death to try to take back Wagga Wagga.

You can barely notice it, but Timor-Leste has retaken Milingimbi.

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81: Burning Desire

The western front continues to go poorly for the Cree as they lose Wabasca to the Mohave. The city’s workers alongside a Great Musician have no clear escape route as naval units and a couple of crossbowmen circle the city as its inhabitants slowly die from the burns inflicted from the razing.

There is also a little bit of a naval skirmish between the Cree and the Gokturks up north.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

82: The Mathematician Has Still Not Been Planted

Mustafa Kemal Ataturk is finally doing something this episode as he sends a small wave of units across the Black Sea to attack Novgorod. Whether this is a prelude to a bigger operation remains to be seen.

Also that citadel Turkey planted next to Adana wasn’t there at the start of the episode. Ataturk has not forgotten that Vladimir took that city from him.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

83: Trouble With The Tralee, Huh?

America has bumbled the attack on Tralee as the closest melee unit they have to the city is a knight that has to get past a trebuchet and crossbowman first to even reach the city. Those units close to Wales would’ve been better served to back up the attack on the city.

In fairness though, Ireland aren’t doing much better with Baltimore as their longswordsman is being blocked from standing on an adjacent tile thanks to poor unit placement.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

84: “Hold Up, Lads, We Don't Want That Penalty!”

The attack on San Salvador seems to have stopped, my guess is Nemequene doesn’t want to take the associated warmonger penalty that comes with capturing a civ’s last remaining city. Central America takes this opportunity to send a couple of Musketmen to try and liberate the capital while Tupac is dealing with the discontent within his lands and sends a settler in the hopes there could be some island that hasn’t been claimed yet..

Can you notice the difference between this slide’s minimap and the previous slide’s? (We’ll cover it later if you can’t.)

CBR In-Game Screenshot

85: Things Did Not Go As Planned

The war between Timor-Leste and The Wiradjuri comes to an end with Windradyne coming out on the losing end. They were definitely not helped by the Inca attacking them (and who are still at war with them). Timor-Leste now has the opportunity to carpet his Australian territory in preparation for a future offense.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

86: Blessed Are The Cheeseburgers

We’ve got some SPICY religion screenshots for ya- wait, we only have one?

Michael Collins has done a terrible job spreading the beliefs of Oriental Orthodoxy to the unenlightened masses. Couldn’t even get the entirety of the British Isles to follow it.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

87: An Empress With A Pretty Nose

And here is an extra Government Overview slide to dig into. The recent conquests of Cree cities has led to Irataba to crown himself emperor of his people as the Social Democrats become the leading party.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

88: RIP Little Settler

They’ve done it, the Central Americans have recovered their capital. How long will they keep it? … At least for another week. Central America is doomed in the long run but they survive the episode with at least two of their cities (even if one has become barren through all the city flips).

CBR In-Game Screenshot

89: How Not To Fight Naval Wars Good

Again, Roosevelt could have easily taken Tralee had he not sent all those units sailing south of Ireland. This is typical bad Civ V AI behavior when it comes to naval invasion.

Ireland takes the opportunity to peace out with Greenland. Christianshab was never placed in any danger of falling this episode.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

90: Swahili Did Nothing This Episode

The occupied city of Meknes has been having it rough as the city is being attacked by Yugoslavia and most of its population has since starved to death since the trade earlier this episode. Being isolated from the rest of the Mali empire isn’t doing it any favors.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

91: My Ship Sails In The Morning

… And Sundiata Keita couldn’t give a rat’s ass as he announces an invasion on Casilla, declaring war. The first target is the one-tile island of Burgos which has already been blockaded from the rest of the empire. It is certain to fall (or at least flip once) unless Isabella can tactically outsmart Keita’s armada.

I’m sure there are some readers who are more excited upon the prospect of North Korea living in a Golden Age.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

92: Needs More Pink And Red

Ohhhhhh boy, things are about to get bad for Shakushain as the Mori and Maori connection has formed to finish off The Ainu. This will likely result in Mori Motonari nabbing Usukeshi unless someone else swoops in at the last minute to snipe the city.

How the Modoc Kingdom is having a Golden Age when whatever was left of its civilization got decimated in the last episode is beyond me. Maybe Kintpuash is relieved to no longer have a kingdom to rule over.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

93: The Mohave Tour

Poundmaker has incorporated rock and roll into his tactics as two knights escort Big Star onto the island where Wabasca is located. The band plays in the hopes their music will prove to be a rally cry for the Cree military. The Mohave are confused by said tactics but don’t hesitate on firing on the Knights to discourage the singing..

CBR In-Game Screenshot

94: Funneling Through

 The Permians have recaptured Telisai and now have also captured Upyte in an effort to reduce border gore between over civs. With troops slowly crossing through the mountains, the Permians may not be done just yet should they seek another Lithuanian city.

The Seminole are still at war with America, my guess is that their war declaration last episode is Micanopy making it clear that no matter what Roosevelt does to him or his people, they will always fight back. Would explain the uprisings in the occupied settlements.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

95: Ready To RageQuito

“Sire, what is the plan in our offensive against the Inca?”

“Pillage their citadels!” belted Jose de San Martin, “Show them their defensive forts shall crumble under the might of Rio de la Plata!”

“And they did just that.

Sadly, pillaging tiles is really all Jose has accomplished so far as they are barely putting a dent into Machu’s city defenses. This war could backfire immensely in the next episode, especially if Salvador Allende strikes while Jose’s army has its back facing them.

CBR In-Game Screenshot

96: Arapaho Did Nothing This Episode

You know what? I’m officially writing it in my head canon that the oppressed Seminole citizens are what is causing Roosevelt’s constant Dark Ages in this game. It all started when they captured Apopka long ago, and now much like Cuscowilla and Loxahatchee, there’s now a third uprising this episode occurring south of Apopka. Coincidence? I think not!

(Also, America recaptured Philadelphia.)

CBR In-Game Screenshot

97: Xwalkw This Way

Here’s the confirmation that the Gokturks did capture Tzatsisnukomi earlier. With no major push to go any further this episode, a couple of Cree Frigates can be seen crossing Gokturk waters nearby Dzawadi. Qaghan already has Cannons and Crossbows stationed on the fortified islands around it.

(Also, the Cree recaptured Philadelphia.)

CBR In-Game Screenshot

98: T’Ver There

And we close this episode by witnessing how little progress Gediminas has made in his war against Vladimir since capturing Yaroslavl at the start of the episode. This was ultimately a real letdown of an episode for Lithuania especially when you take into account they lost two cities to the Permians too. Maybe they can come back to this, or maybe in future we come back to this and point to this war as the turning point for Gediminas’ fortunes.

And that ends this week’s action. Special congratulations to the South African civs for doing absolutely naff all all episode, demonstrating why every civ in the region will eventually be gobbled by their North African neighbors. You don’t win a Civ Battle Royale by stagnating as a small empire, small fry!

To recap the most important events of the episode;

America eliminated the Seminole but their spirit lives on through constant uprisings.

After claiming the Tetouan capital for themselves, Mali have started an invasion against Castilla.

The Massagetae has been reduced to a rump state by both Tuva and the Permians.

Lithuania missed the opportunity to rump Vladimir this episode while losing a couple of cities to the Permians in the process.

Central America is slowly falling apart.

The Cree are fighting wars on three different fronts against America, the Mohave and the Gokturks.

The Wiradjuri lost cities to both TImor-Leste and the Inca.

Kayapo be trippin’ beakers.

Rio de la Plata has launched a desperate war against the Inca to regain relevance.

The Ainu are in trouble as their closest neighbor Mori declares war on them.

This has been Bulletproof_Cookie, wishing you all a good March.