Episode 21: Best Laid Plans

1: Hello There!

Hello, Denizens of the Sub! Welcome to the 21st episode of CBRX Season 3. I am Nirosat, your resident lurker turned narrator for this week’s slides. I do not play much Civilization, but I have followed the CBR for the past 8 years. It has a special place for me as it indulges my love of history and my love of imaginary “what if” timelines. This is my first narration, which came about due to an inebriated signup and eventually a coin flip game…don’t ask.

Anyways, let’s get into the episode. I’m sure you are all as excited as I am to see how our beloved factions surprise and disappoint us.

2: Fiona’s Map

We highlight Fiona’s map for a second time. I found this map to be very helpful and I referenced it several times while writing my narration.

3: Pyrrhic Victory

Here is u/SeroSedSerio’s depiction of Central America retaking Guatemala City.

4: A List of Beautiful People

Look at all these wonderful people. Absolutely gorgeous, well oiled, individuals. I mean, uh, they keep this community well oiled…

For real though, thank you to all who keep the gears turning for the CBR. Members receive fun perks and additional privileges.

5: Green with Envy?

No, I don’t even like Vermont. Or at least I didn’t. I guess my feelings are very mixed on Vermont now. It’s kinda like that one stranger you meet on a team building exercise or at summer camp and you become buds with them during that trip. But only from that trip. Afterwards you don’t really talk to them and you wonder if you were actually friends or just friends via circumstance. That’s me and Vermont now.

6: Copy/Paste

We begin this week's episode with a shot of the British (or maybe Irish?) Isles where America has managed to capture Tralee. In classic battle royale fashion, they celebrate by setting the city ablaze. Michael Collins rallies troops around Dublin for the inevitable push to retake the city.

Up north, the Irish have made zero progress on their siege of Baltimore with the situation looking nearly identical to when we last saw it.

7: Bur-going

Burgos drops to half health as Mali's invasion fleet swarms the city. A few Castile vessels attempt to defend the city, but Isabella appears to be holding the majority of the army back to defend the mainland. I expect this city’s colors to change the next time we see it.

Meanwhile, in the heart of Europe, Brandenberg laments that there are virtually no more locations to settle on the map. The kingdom stagnates and falls into a dark age.

08: Kayapó Forever

A catapult plinks away at Machu walls as Incan defenders watch bemused from the battlements. They wonder how such a technologically backwards army could hope to achieve anything. The Inca are so indifferent to the attacks that Sao Salvador has but a few trebuchets to defend the city.

While the garrison mocks the technology of their attackers, rumors begin to trickle down from the Amazon. Travelers whisper of a civilization hidden deep within the jungle with technology beyond comprehension. A land with massive palaces, towers that touch the clouds, and cities with tens of millions of inhabitants. It’s said to be a paradise with no hunger, no war, and instead embraces the beauty of art and music.

—

Kayapo has entered the Modern Era. Absolutely wild.

09: Longswordsman: Far From Home

The Inca invasion of the Wiradjuri continues as the former begins to eye mainland Australia. A handful of ships advance to pepper the coast while a larger force assembles near Maiyingu Marragu and the newly established settlement of Inti Watana. Said force includes the Chaska Chuqui, a Longsword replacement that receives +1 movement and requires no iron. What’s more interesting, though, is that they also receive additional combat strength the farther they are from the capital. Considering the location of this front, that might be a significant difference.

10: Those Who Remember: I

A flurry of cannon fire rains down on the Ainu coast as the Mali begin their assault on Usukeshi. Considering this is a fairly defensible city, and Mali isn't exactly a military powerhouse, this siege could continue for a very long time.

—

I also would like to point out that North Korea is a populist republic.

11: Bur-gone

What didn’t last a long time was Burgos. Mali has captured the city and it doesn’t look like Castile is even going to try and get it back. Mali has been making decent moves recently as they have crawled up the West African coast. We will see if they can maintain momentum into the Spanish Peninsula or if the ball stops here.

12: Land of Delights and Death

The Mohave continue to push Cree positions in the Pacific Northwest with attacks on Bigstone and Nisicha Wayasihk.. The Cree respond with a counter-attack on recently captured Wabasca. The rough terrain could turn this into another bloodbath.

—

Cree artist Hieronymus hikes through the Cascades bearing witness to the bloodshed. Inspired, he creates a transitional painting depicting the shift from peace in the heartland to the ghoulish hellscape on the war torn west coast.

—

In real life, Hieronymus Bosch was a Dutch artist known for fantastical paintings on religious subjects including particularly nightmarish depictions of Hell.

13: A Rock and a Hard Place

Breaking News: Egypt has made peace with Vermont. I repeat, Egypt has made peace with Vermont.

Equally as impactful is the ongoing Afghanistan Kokang war. We can see the former’s forces just managing to affect Htin Par Keng’s health bar. Despite having a larger and more advanced army, the Afghan troops will still struggle to take a city like all other Kokang conflicts.

14: Undo

And with a swift counter, Ireland manages to retake Tralee and douse the flames before the city turns to soot. The remaining American units are scattered. So I don’t think it is likely to swap back. Baltimore is currently in the black and all that is needed is a melee unit for the city to turn green.

15: The Tide Turns

Lithuania’s attack continued to stall against Vladimir long enough that the latter was able to make a deal with the Permians. Now with support from the big bear on the north flank, Vladimir forces cross into Lithuanian lands along the relatively undefended southern border.

Most of Lithuania’s military remains on the northern front near T’ver. Vladimir composite bowmen assemble to defend the city, and Permian troops nearby are in position to assist in distracting the assault. To make matters worse, Lithuania is in the midst of a Dark Age. Perhaps the brutal war dragging on, or the change in circumstance has caused disillusionment in the populace.

—

Hans Holbein the Younger was a German-Swiss painter known for portraits. He learned from his father of the same name (the elder) and is the man behind the work “The Ambassadors”. Lithuania may need some ambassadors now if they want to make peace before their fortunes turn south.

16: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones…

Mali has a swarm of units around Split and has reduced the city to zero health. Since the Mali UU, the Ton-Tigi, is a knight replacement with range, it seems they are unable to capture the city themselves. Instead, they opt to break down the defenders with vicious slander to coax out a surrender.

Upset at Castile’s defensive choices, Carlos III has left his home in Spain in the hopes his strategic prowess could be put to use.

—

I believe the Carlos III represented here is the King of Spain (aka Charles III in anglicized form) who conducted conquests of Naples and Sicily.

17: The Best

We take a quick detour to our #1 ranked civ, Tuvo. The frame in particular shows the Permian/Tuvo border. There are not many troops here, indicating that neither are planning an invasion.

18: The North Gokturk Sea

All is quiet between the Gokturks and Cree as the former seems happy enough with taking just Tzatsisnukomi. In a project to solidify their northern holdings, they construct a series of island forts around Dzawadi.

Down South the Mori attack on Usukeshi has gone nowhere since we last saw it and across the Pacific the Cree have fended off the Mohave push on Bigstone.

19: Cross Counter!

Lithuania and Vladimir both press forward, damaging T’ver and Siauliai respectively as the front seems to pinwheel around. Lithuania seems better equipped for a siege, but must contend with defending troops as well as the Permian troops lurking off screen. Meanwhile the south is devoid of military, but Vladimir lacks siege equipment.

To assist in taking advantage of the opening, Luis Aves de Lima e Silva, Duke of Caxias (what a name) is directed to the front.

—

In our timeline he was a Brazilian field marshall and politician known for his loyalty. His military career involved quelling multiple rebellions and a war with Paraguay.

20: Eviction Notice

It was bound to happen. Baltimore falls as Ireland cleans up all American presence in the area. I do not see much else happening in this war.

Upset they lost a city in such a pointless conflict, America makes peace with Botswana, ending a different war that also didn’t really matter.

21: 1st World Problems

In Kremoro, dusk besets the city. The shadows of the skyscrapers mirror the workers as they stretch after a hard day’s work. One by one, lights flicker on as the city glows, defiant of the setting of the sun. Some residents fret about the evening activities, to perambulate the city parks, relish a cocktail at that new high end bar, or perhaps a night at the theater. Ever more choices present themselves as the newest spectacles line the streets of cities alight in the darkness.

—

The Kayapo completes Broadway, which, while worthless in a domination game, is the first modern age wonder on the cylinder.

22: The Detour

Not content with just Castile, Mali bombards Christianshab from the sea. I did not realize these two were at war, and based on the defense I don’t think Greenland was either. If the city is captured, I see it staying in Mali’s hands.

A significant American force accumulates in the Atlantic for another attempt to gain ground in Ireland.

23: A Lesson in Negligence

Perhaps neglecting Sao Salvador was not the best idea in hindsight. If you asked me at the last part what I thought of Rio de la Plata war on Inca, I would have given the “at least they tried” award. However, if Inca doesn’t even try to defend, then the Rioplatense has a shot.

Also, despite being passive militarily, Kayapo has an adequate force when compared to their neighbors.

24: Request Meat Wagon for Resyk

Vladimir stumbles against Siauliai as the city has more health than we last saw it. In their fervor, a few troops get ahead of themselves and end up in range of Trakai. Meanwhile Gabriela Silang is assigned to defend T’ver, which looks about the same as before. Permian soldiers continue to support from a distance, much to the annoyance of the T’ver defenders. I take back what I said earlier. This isn’t a pinwheel; it’s a meat grinder.

—

Gabriela was a Filipino revolutionary leader. She is considered the ‘Joan of Arc’ of Ilocandia.

25: A Change of Plans

“Sir, our forces are in position. Just say the word and we’ll move in on Tralee,” says an American officer.

Roosevelt replies, “Yeah…about that.”

—

America makes peace with Ireland.

26: Totally Planned For

Conveniently, Brandenburg decides that this is the perfect time to declare war on the USA. I guess that fleet won’t be meaningless after all. This war could have meant something if Baltimore or Tralee was in American hands. Now it’s most likely to result in a garbage heap in the north Atlantic.

27: Whoever is First in the Field

Robert Mills treks northwest to the edge of Afghan territory. Word has reached his ear of war between Afghanistan and Khazaria and he wishes to capture the moment of the invasion in action. Upon arriving on the scene he saw…nothing. No armies, no desolation, just fields and greenery. Robert took this as a sign, and resolved to include landscaping and green space in his future works.

—

Robert Mills is an American architect and engineer best known for the Washington Monument and his influence on the US capital’s building design.

Khazaria is in trouble if Afghanistan decides to do anything beyond the war declaration.

28: Cree Won’t Let You Do That

The Mohave have lost all momentum against the Cree. And since the Gokturks refuse to commit further to the fight, the Cree are able to concentrate on retaking Wabasca as the city’s health goes deep in the red.

29: Who Wants Land Anyways

It seems the Inca decided the mainland is not worth it and instead sends a few ships after Horahora. The city is in the red, but the faction it will stay with is still up in the air.

The Maori really are not looking so good here. I know we cannot see the main islands, but half of that is already owned by the Wiradjuri.

Timor-Leste, alternatively, seems to like having tracts of land and begin building up their new Australian holdings.

30: From the North Pole…

We get a look at what the Permians have been up to in the north against Lithuania. Azykay has decided, in his ultimate wisdom, that the barren icescapes of the arctic are far more valuable prizes than Kara-Kum. Accessibility is pretty poor here and Lithuanian ships patrol the waters.The Permains have a sizable army sitting in reserves.

Lithuania still has yet to make progress on T’ver. General Gabriela maintains the defense, wondering when the Permian relief will come.

31: To the South Pole

Supplies arrived yesterday in the late afternoon, and while the sailors stayed overnight, they left at first dawn. I couldn’t blame them. All visitors to Mukalla decide against staying after one night in the cold. They joke about how they couldn’t stand the heat at home before they came here and how Mukalla changed their mind. I don’t really see how that makes much sense. How could heat possibly be a bad thing? Whenever I ask that, they call me Walad Jalid, Ice Boy.

I watch the ship as it leaves, a small thing in the distance. Its sails flutter and flicker as they catch the light, like the glint of snow before melting in the distance. Eventually another ship will come, carrying more tales of a land with plains of sand instead of snow. A place where so much more seems to happen than this small village on the edge of the world.

—

For real though, who decides to live here?

32: Those Who Remember: II

Mori numbers increase around the Ainu city of Usukeshi. The city has dipped into the yellow as the nation continues to fight for survival.

Naval skirmishes occur in the North as the Cree test the sovereignty of the North Gokturk Sea.

33: I Thought We Were Ovier This

Christianshab falls to the red as Mali attempts to snag the city. Nearby, the American fleet approaches Tralee, not yet receiving word yet that the war is over. Meanwhile, Brandenberg vessels descend on their position in the hopes to catch them off guard.

Ireland, finished with settling matters domestically, return to their favorite pastime: fighting Castile over Oviedo.

34: The lights in the sky are stars…

It was thought the Kayapo had already reached the highest man could ever achieve. But once again, they continue onward and upwards. A massive metal spire is constructed, stretching to such heights that it is said to pierce the heavens. Citizens rejoice in the knowledge that there are no limits that exist within their borders which cannot be overcome.

—

Kayapo build the Eiffel Tower.

35: Christian-snagged

Mali captures Christianshab. Greenland apparently couldn't care less as they never sent anything to defend it at any point.

36

The Cree retake Wabasca just before a new contingent of Mohave ships arrive at the scene. The battle for the city is not over yet.

37: A Report on the State of the Caribbean

The Muisca have been beefing up their Caribbean presence while the United States doesn’t seem to have much defending their position in this region. Instead, their fleet is off having a shouting match with Brandenberg near Ireland.

The Mohave have a decent navy on screen, but their lands are barren of troops. Luckily Central America is not much of a threat.

Central America has certainly seen better days. They have just a duo of cities and one of them is a severely neutered capital. On a positive note, they are no longer actively dying, but not much else is going for them.

38: The Tomb of Tomes

The report lands on Nemequene’s desk detailing the state of affairs in the Caribbean. The Muisca leader mulls over the next course of action following their conquest of Sonsonate.

Scouring the parchment, his eye catches upon an account of the United States misplaced navy. Intrigued, he delves into the Sunken Stacks beneath the palace, thumbing through ancient and mysterious texts of unknown origin, searching for information on these states. Finally he finds his answer, a faction he recognizes stated to be one of these states.

Emerging from the shelves, he announces his decree, “The Muisca will declare war on the state of Vermont!”

High off the conquest of Christianshab, Mali is excited with Nemequene’s offer for a joint offensive. “A set of undefended island cities just across the Atlantic, count us in.”

—

Off screen, the Mohave have retaken Wabasca and set it ablaze. The city has one population, so the chances of it burning to the ground are high.

39: It’s Just a Prank Bro

Here we get a good look at America’s mainland. For a civ that once had one of the largest militaries, it’s looking a little sparse. Tensions remain high with the once Seminole civilians as the populace of Cuscowilla continues to resist their occupation. In an attempt to de-escalate, America declares peace with the exiled government. “If we aren’t fighting anymore, surely they’ll calm down.”

The Arapaho are still Arapaho-ing around. They still refuse to rebuild the military they threw away several episodes ago.

What little they have includes their UU, the Beniiinen, a knight replacement that ignores zone of control and generates yields with kills.

On a second look, it doesn’t seem that the Muisca and Mali war with Vermont will matter. The city of Windsor will be impossible for either to reach unless they have open borders with America.

40: Yeah yeah. We’re on it.

Inca forces begrudgingly trounce around near Tucuman, but seem to be, more or less, just going through the motions of war rather than actually fighting. Meanwhile, Sao Salvador continues to slowly, but surely lose health as Rio de la Plata keeps up the attack.

Coincidentally, Chile is chillin’, content in their contained continental corner.

41: Those Who Remember: III

“Spotted on the coast, trapped.”

The message is concise, yet clear. The emergency expedition to evacuate failed. It was a Hail Mary attempt, an exodus to establish a new home. As soon as they set off the coast, they were shadowed by Mori ships. It would have to be Usukeshi, or nothing.

The few remaining Ainu soldiers defend battlements on the outskirts of the city. Horrendously outnumbered, they continue to fight, desperate to protect the last of their people. Arrows pour from above, cannons thunder offshore, and ash clouds the sky in a storm that never ends. It may not have been certain before, but it seems increasingly likely that this will be their last stand. A final attempt to delay their demise, even if just for a little bit. Once we’re gone…will anyone remember us...what we did here?

—

Usukeshi falls to the red.

42: The Final Frontier

It’s easy to forget that Rio de la Plata still holds an island city that was not gobbled up by Chile. Mizque, while not really doing much, does exist.

Chile establishes Talca on what might just be the last piece of unclaimed, settleable territory.

43: …But Words Will Never Hurt Me

Mali troops continue to hurl insults, taunts and overdone puns at the city of Split. Despite the verbal abuse, the city does not waver, instead growing apathetic to the vernacular onslaught. Residents begin to joke that a Mali insult is less offensive than a Kokang war.

Chad and the Normans continue fighting over the same spot between Benevento and Aouszou as when the war began. Normans have a numbers advantage, but I can’t see a breakthrough happening. To the west Normans find the isolated city of Am Timan.

44: Ruins

And it’s gone. The Mohave sending the troops to make a second capture of Wabasca just so that they could immediately burn it down. That’s pretty spiteful if you ask me.

45: The Hammer and Sickle

We take a detour to a relatively peaceful region of the cylinder for a special look at Turkey, who have adopted the Communism Ideology. The Kayapo, famed for their tech advantage, just got their Ideology last part. Turkey is only an episode behind and is currently keeping pace.

Similar to Liberalism being a renamed Freedom, I am assuming Communism is a renamed Order. This should be a more effective ideology than Kayapo’s Liberalism in a domination game. It is interesting that the Facism equivalent will be the last of the three.

Perhaps we will see Turkey reach their spirit ideology before the end of the episode.

46: Kokang Bear

After much bloodshed, drama, betrayal, and romance, the incredibly dynamic and unpredictable war between Kokang and Afghanistan comes to an end…yeah right!

Just like the movie, what really happened was far less exciting.

47: Look Busy

Incan troops scramble as they realize that Rio is actually going to take the city. They attempt to filter units east to cut off reinforcements to the front, but there’s plenty of bows and melee units to take the city.

Rio de la Plata making peace while holding Sao Salvador would be better than I thought they could achieve in this war.

48: Man in Cave

We get a rare look at Bengal and Pandya territory. They aren’t weak, but both are surrounded by strong civs. The only real option for either of them to break out is to join a coalition, or go for each other. In the second case, Bengal should get the edge. But still, they are trapped, with little chance to get out on their own, and time is running out.

49: Sweet Tooth

Rioting breaks out near Bacata as the fields are set alight and Local forces are dispatched to handle the situation. Nemequene refuses to believe his nation could be unhappy with his rule. In denial, he deduces that it must be saboteurs commissioned by Vermont. He sends a warning to Mali to be wary.

—

Norbert Rillieux was a chemical engineer best known for inventing the multiple-effect evaporator. This device takes advantage of the reduced boiling point of water in a low pressure environment by using multiple chambers where the steam of each chamber heats the following chamber. Originally used for sugar processing, it has since been adopted industry wide for any operation requiring a large volume of water to evaporate.

50: The Real Plan

And just like that, T’ver flips to Lithuania in a sudden reversal of fortune. To make matters worse for Vladimir, Siauliai has been fully restored.

Vsevolod wonders what happened? The plan was perfect, it was working, a corroborative front along the North and South. But where was the Permian assistance? Desperate, Vsevolod appoints Alvaro Obregon to assuage the situation.

Right as T’ver is captured, the Permians flood into Lithuanian territory, immediately putting damage on Kara-Kum. It almost seems as though they wanted this to happen…

—

Alvaro was a general in the Mexican Revolution and became the 46th President of Mexico.

51: Those Who Remember: IV

Steadily, the cacophony of combat settled, shifting from the wails of wounded and clash of metal, to muffled cries and distant crashes,to silence. Usukeshi has fallen. After devoting so many lives and so much time, the Mori can celebrate finally removing their northern rival.

—

The last ditch effort of Ainu to save their civilization is still there as the settler and swordsman remain parked on Hokkaido. There they huddle, a nomadic group searching for a home. But the last open lands on the cylinder have long been settled.

52

Sao Salvador, somehow, still flies the green colors of the Inca. A couple of Inca musketmen do what they can to alleviate pressure on the city, but the city is bound to flip any moment now.

53: So You’re Saying It’s Possible

Well this is interesting, Mohave’s razing of Wabasca has opened up an empty plot of land with just enough space for a city and an Ainu Trireme is aware of the location.

The Cree fall into a dark age as Obedjiwan is brushed by Gokturk ships.

54: Pop Songs of the Renaissance

The Khazarian troops had not moved since the war was declared, hoping that Afghanistan would forget they existed. Unfortunately for them, after making peace with the Kokang, Ahmad Shah Durrani checks his list of active conflicts. Noticing Khazaria, he waves a trio of units to do this “war” thing, before retiring to his mountain getaway in Sar-e-pol to listen to the soothing vocals composed by Guilaume Dufay.

—

Guilaume Dufay was a French composer during the early Renaissance period, when the idea of a composer being an occupation was still in its infancy. He would write in forms popular at the time, with most songs performed vocally while using few instruments, if any at all.

55

A Yemeni force led by Jacques Cartier crosses the Arabian Sea in a sea-borne invasion of Panya. I like the attempt, but Yemen will need to commit more than this if they want to make any gains.

—

Jacques Cartier was a French-Breton explorer who was the first European to map the Gulf of Saint Lawrence and the Saint Lawrence River. He was the first to document the name “Canada” for the territory around these shores.

56: Pretty Nar Le Rumor

A bird in a flock, a shadow in the night, Agent S. tests the air of sentiment in Tuva. Mumbles of a thorn in Tuva’s side, an embarrassment in the form of a province, simmer in the muddled waters. It initially unclear, but Agent S. knows that with just a shake of the placer, the nuggets pan out.

—

Agent S. has found that the Tuva are plotting against the Kokang. This most likely has to do with Nar Le.

57: A Pointed Stick

A pikeman approaches the rabble of troops surrounding Split. Their jeers, biting remarks, and the occasional thrown fruit, hum and splatter against the walls.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Wearing down the city’s morale,” a crossbowman replies assuredly. The pikeman ponders this for a moment before speaking again.

“What if we just…attack them with a pointed stick?”

Aghast, the crossbowman retorts, “Oh, oh, oh? Pointed sticks! Getting all high and mighty here. Is fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh?”

—

The Normans cross the border into Chad lands near Aouzou.

58: Those Who Remember: V

The Ainu Nomads stay put in the forest at the edge of Gokturk lands. The ocean is still too risky to traverse with the Mali fleet patrolling the waters. While all their cities have fallen and all their land lost, as long as they survive, the Ainu survive.

59

Sao Salvador’s health is completely gone. Yet composite bowment block pikemen from taking the city proper. A couple of Inca troops continue to harass the Rioplatense back lines in an attempt to save their career.

—

Pytheas was an ancient Greek explorer who traversed the seas north of Europe. He is credited with the first circumnavigation of the British Isles and among the first known to explore the Arctic Circle with his description of a “Midnight Sun”.

60

The Permians continue their blitz as they capture Kara-kum and decide to raze it to the ground. There are plenty of Lithuanian troops around so it is likely to flip back.

Greenland and Mali make peace with Mali retaining Christianshab.

61: That Funny Feeling

Vsevolod buries his head in his hands. Where did it all go wrong? He knew the Lithuanian invasion was a losing battle. But after a stout defense, there was a ray of hope, an alliance. He felt like a fool. He knew the saying, if something seems too good to be true…

Disheartened and defeated, he signs the peace deal while wondering what his people will think. Honestly, he wasn’t sure he really cared anymore. Just get it over with.

—

Vladimir makes peace with Lithuania, giving away the kingdom’s largest city, Suzdal. To add insult to injury, it is put to the torch.

62

Ah! Government overview time. The dominant factions appear to be starting to shift from groups/classes to ideological parties. Empress Pretty Nose finds the Arapaho Republican Brotherhood gaining support across her lands.

63: Empire of the Permians

Here we get a better look at what “Azykay the Conqueror, Great King of The Permians, King of The Massagetae, Lawspeaker of Khazaria” really thinks about himself.

The title should have been your first hint Vsevolod.

64: What do they expect them to do?

Brazil, witnesses the rise of Social Democratic alignment as people expect more support from their government-in-exile.

65

The Afghan Principality will probably be able to better satisfy the demands of the majority party than Brazil.

66: King of the Philippines

Indonesian leader Suharto continues to wear his conquest of the Philippines on his sleeve. When asked what he plans to do next, he tends to change the subject.

67: The Land of Plenty

Despite going Liberalism, the socialist Kayapo Trade Unionist Party gains dominant status in the nation’s government. Members of the general public begin to ponder aloud, “If we have the technology and prosperity. Isn’t there enough for everyone?”

68: That Diplo Hit

We return to the game with some big news. North Korea has declared war on the Mori in response to the destruction of the Ainu. Not that North Korea really cared about the Ainu, but it’s a good excuse.

Apparently the warmonger penalty got high enough to tip their neighbor over the edge. Both sides have plenty of units in the mix here and it's hard to tell if either are favored.

69: A Quick Breather

Central America breathes a sigh of relief as they make peace with the Inca. For the moment, there are no threats to their remaining two cities. Yes, there is a war declaration by the Kayapo, but that’s just some small secluded tribe in the jungle. Now Vermont, they’ve heard some scary stories about Vermont.

70: Too Quick. Too Quick!

…

The Mohave declare war on Central America. This is not good for the small nation that can't seem to catch a break. The Mohave are sparse in number on the ground, but their fleet is in the area.

71

Timor-Leste notice the Mohave are distracted by ongoing and new wars in North America and decide to attack the lightly defended cities in the Pacific. Utilizing the canon on the island is a nice touch.

I cannot tell if Indonesia forces are building up along the border or if they just have a lot of units.

72

Kyivan Rus and Turkey continue to duke it out in the Black Sea. Neither have made any progress at all this part and I doubt that is going to change. Who knows, maybe Kyivan Rus will make a terrible peace deal.

73: Cleanup of NA 2: Electric Boogaloo

An American patrol boat intercepts a messenger outbound from Vermont. Confiscating the documents, they discover a war declaration against Central America.

“Wait a second. We’re America! We’ll teach them better than to tread on us!”

America declares war on Vermont.

Vladimir also declares war as Vsevolod says that he heard from a friend of a friend, that this “Vermont” fellow said some mean things about his mom…and he couldn’t let that slide.

—

Vermont is in trouble. America has them surrounded on three sides and knowing the AI, Vermont’s probably going to engage all three of them.

74

Ireland has captured and secured Oviedo. Castile will have a harder time flipping the city back since they are still at war with Mali.

75: Mysterious Ships

Speaking of which, at Gibraltar, Mali forces begin the crossing to resume the attack on Castile. Approaching the shore, they are surprised to see very little opposition.

Castile apparently changed their mind about defending the Spanish Peninsula and decided to launch a counter attack on Burgos. It’s too bad they forgot to bring a naval escort. This isn’t going to be pretty.

—

On the way to the island, Castile troops encountered a strange boat that could somehow float despite being made out of metal.

“Is that an Irish ship?” one soldier asks another.

“They’re not attacking us so I don’t think so,” he replies, “Must be Vermont.”

—

Kayapo now has Ironclads.

76: Fool Me Twice…

Pandya shows they learned their lesson from Kilwa as they decimate the Yemeni vanguard. Despite being the weakest civ in the region, they still require a serious investment to make gains against.

77: Rough Waters

North Korean and Mori fleets clash along the full length of their borders. I’m pretty sure the scale of this conflict is larger than any either of these two civs participated in before. It is still too early to make out an advantage between the two.

78: The Watercolour Tour

The Mohave and Cree war is locked in place on the west coast. In order to prevent support from waning, Poundmaker sends Ary Arroso on a promotional tour featuring his hit song, “Cree in Color”, to raise funds for the troops.

The Tuva enter peace with Lithuania. They took over an exclave during the previous part but made no additional moves this episode.

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Ary Barroso was a Brazilian artist with various talents. He was a pre-bossa Nova composer, a pianist, soccer commentator, and talent-show host.

79: One City, Two City, Red City, Rue City

Timor-Leste makes quick work of hard to pronounce city #1 and begins work on hard to pronounce city #2.

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I want to take a moment to give a shoutout to DocIdo for the audio narrations. I’m sure I’ve made things quite challenging with the number of city names I’ve included so far.

80: A Tale of Two City States

Afghan soldiers poke Tamanarkhan after swiping away the measley defending forces. It doesn’t seem as though they brought enough to actually take the city.

The Massagetae watch nervously from the sidelines as this could be a look at things to come to their borders.

81

With the situation with Mali worsening, Castile throws in the towel and makes peace with the Irish while letting them keep Oviedo.

On another note, Amsterdam is still in Anglo-Dutch hands. It doesn’t even seem like they are at war with Yugoslavia.

Chad hears some troubling news about a green civ partaking in treachery all around the cylinder. Chad declares war on Vermont.

82: Let Me In. Let Me In!

We get a look at Africa featuring the well carpeted Chadian core. Skirmishes continue near Aouzou but this image demonstrates how many units Chad has in reserve.

To the west a Mali pikeman pleads with his fellow soldiers to just let him take a stab at the city. Instead they laugh, telling him “Good one!”

Angola has just been sleeping lately. There’s not much else to say about them.

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Okay, I have to tell a quick story real fast. So I’ve been writing this part for the past few days and I kept on seeing these red and gold units in random locations. I thought maybe they were Timor-Leste, but the colors were off. Perhaps they were a dead civ, but they came up too often. It was driving me nuts. I finally got to this slide…and it was Uganda’s units. I literally couldn’t figure it out until now, when their civ’s lands finally peek into the corner of the screen.

That’s how forgettable Uganda is.

83: The Science of Deconstructing and Reconstructing Matter

The first ships reach Guatemala City and open fire while cavalry skirmish with muskets at the border.

Guatemala City cannot catch a break. It’s been destroyed, rebuilt, and is now being re-destroyed.

The Mohave still don’t have much of a force here, but neither does Central America.

84: The Sentry

Carel Fabritius is a Dutch painter who focused on techniques involving delicate lighting of the subject and other spatial effects. Unfortunately, a massive gunpowder explosion that destroyed a quarter of the city he lived in resulted in his death and the loss of most of his paintings.

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I like to imagine he is working on a painting showing the defending composite bowmen resting during a respite from the siege, similar to his real life work, The Sentry.

85

After a chaotic start, the war begins to settle into two separate battles. One is an evenly matched naval battle east of Miiri-Takamatsu, the other the North Korean assault on the Mori capital. It does not help that the majority of Mori’s fleet is on the other side of Japan.

Great Ming watches from the sidelines, remembering the days when they used to have relevance.

86: Insanity

After the disaster of their first attempt, the Yemeni decide to try again without changing anything. I guess Turkey is also at war with Pandya. So that’s different, but I don’t see them making a difference just yet.

87: Sao SalvaDOH!

They did it. They actually did it. Rio de la Plata scores Sao Salvador and it looks like it will stay that way for now. While I respected their war declaration, I did not expect them to achieve anything. Then again, I didn’t expect the Inca to refuse to defend the city either.

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Sundiata is…um…well he’s the leader of Mali. What is he doing here, you ask? Well, he decided to leave the war against Castile to his generals for a bit while he studied the other enemy he was supposed to be fighting. However, things weren’t quite what he expected. Yes, these were across the Atlantic. And yes, they flew green banners. And yes, there were islands…lots and lots of islands. But those were in the Pacific, and they were not undefended. Sundiata begins to wonder, just what the hell is Vermont?

88

The Normans manage to progress far enough to begin to damage Aouzou. It may not seem like much, but if they whittle it down enough, it could just end up being theirs.

89: Emotional Support

Cambodia joins the war against Pandya. They cannot get there, but perhaps they will cheer very loudly.

What’s more interesting is the view of Indonesia. It’s a bit misshapen and stringy, but it’s packed with units.

90: A Symbolic Gesture

The Gokturks and Cree declare a ceasefire. But let’s be honest, neither of these fought since Tzatsisnukomi was taken.

The Mohave might want to end the war too and focus on absorbing Central America.

91

Speaking of which, the Mohave send a few more ships towards Guatemala City. Otherwise, the state of affairs is not much different.

92: The Kremoro of the East

Here we get a close look at the Timor-Leste capital and it is massive. In fact, it is the largest city on the cylinder outside of Kayapo borders. To protect the jewel of their nation, Timor-Leste builds Fasil Ghebbi, a wonder that provides +9 defense in the city it is built and a 33% combat bonus to any units in a two tile radius. Considering the distance between their capital and Indonesia, it may actually make a difference if the two clash.

93: A Cliffhanger

Agent S. takes the middle table. One would think a spy would sit at the edge or a corner, but being in the midst of everything allows you to hear so much more. It’s dusk, and laborers begin to filter in after a day's hard work. Lanterns are lit, drinks are poured, lips unsealed.

A couple things perk the spy’s interest. Sentiment against Kokang seems to be falling. Agent S assumes this is due to the territorial acquisition toward Nar Le, a decent compromise as opposed to war as far as he is concerned. Another is word of an uprising in Permian land just to the west. Apparently some are upset about the morality of some wartime decisions that came to light regarding alliances.

But the real kicker was the last one. Mentions that Tuva should make a move against the Permains. Agent S already knew the territory was devoid of any military. If Tuva acted on this the results would be…unimaginable.

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In what might be the spiciest intel drop we’ve gotten yet in the CBRX3, Tuvo is plotting against the Permians. This could be nothing, but it's a massive note to end on if it has any merit.

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Anyways, thank you so much for joining me in exploring the events of the cylinder this week. I hope you were as entertained reading it as I was writing it.

-Nirosat

Episode 21: Best Laid Plans – S3

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