Episode 22: A Cylinder in Flux

1: Greetings

Hello everyone and welcome to the Civ Battle Royale X Season 3 Episode 22.

Your narrator for today is BV (or anarcho-balkan on reddit), aka the concept of being annoying made flesh. You may remember my narrations of ep 18 of s2 and ep 7 of s3, as well as from other stuff you can read in the opening slides of those (I’m not gonna bore you with the same details over and over again).

And since Nirosat didn’t want to elaborate on the coinflip, I’m gonna respect his wishes and… not elaborate. Hope there’s no hard feelings, Niro.

2: Fiona Map

Honestly, as excellent as Virrhea’s maps are - and they are - I think I prefer Fiona/Lungora’s more. Every time I view one I just have fun trying to read all the names.

Take a good look at this map, for after we get into the episode proper, it would never be the same again.

3: OC of the Week

By the time I’m typing this (11th March), there is no OC, but since Orange is always there with her American Dreams series, I’m thinking of already calling it here that that’s gonna be on the slide and that it’s very good, as it always is. Really looking forward to what she has for us this week.

EDIT (14th March): She delivered. Mohave is approaching menacingly towards Central America. Also congrats to the Pacific Ocean for coming as an bisexual!

4: Thank you for the donations

And here’s our Ko-Fi donators appreciation slide. The average member of the CBR community is amazing, but the people on screen right now are even more so. This project and future ones like this wouldn’t exist without you guys. Thank you.

5: PRs

The first in the power rankings this week is Tuva, with Turkey a close second, but here I wanna focus on a different civ, namely Rio de la Plata. They had the largest change in ranking from the previous PRs, rising 6 spots. The screenshot shows us an event in the CBRX that gives us a small, blurred view into an alternate timeline, the RDLP much closer to living up to its Episode 0 top ranking. Ultimately, given their small size and outdated tech, here they will never reach those heights, but as much as I prefer the Inca over RDLP, I have to admit it’s nice to see a glimpse of what could’ve been.

6: Green Mountain Troubles

Into the action we go.

Here we see American troops approaching Windsor.

Honestly, since I forgot America was among the gaggle of civs that DOW’d Vermont last episode, I was confused if this was a war or some open borders shenanigans, but then I noticed that several of the American units have sustained damage, so - war it is. I guess a better indication that it’s a war probably would’ve been that Vermont doesn’t have what was by their standards a unit carpet anymore. That Vermont fact was somehow more memorable to me. I guess the fact Windsor is undamaged threw me off.

Off to the right side of the screen we see the American-Brandenburgian naval scuffle, though this angle doesn’t allow us to gauge who has the advantage.

7: North Atlantic Scuffle Ends

Here we get a better picture of the scuffle, and here it is easier to gauge the advantages and disadvantages.

But only a moment too late, as we just watch them make peace. That American fleet was lucky to have found itself at peace before Brandenburgian reinforcements could arrive.

08: The Jawf Revolt

Longswordmen (presumably originally Yemeni) have launched a revolt at the Yemeni-Turkish border, between Sana’a, Mersin and Kayseri, pillaging the countryside at both sides of the frontier. Yemeni knights, apparently enjoying open borders with Turkey, are moving to apprehend them and quash the revolt. No doubt the Turks’ small but technologically superior garrison forces are gonna join in on the action too. Judging from the open borders and the current co-operation, I don’t think Yemen is going to listen to fans’ demands to invade Turkey’s soft underbelly any time soon.

09: Aotearoa

Here we have an image of Aotearoa and eastern Australia and… *sigh* I had such high hopes for you, Maori, but you didn’t garrison your Australian colonies properly and were stupid enough to give Te Tokanganui away in a peace deal… Such is life. At least your capital is the biggest city on the slide.

10: Meanwhile, in Hawaii

Here’s a slide of Hawaii, and, honestly, I’m not sure what’s happening here… Guiyang, Ming’s vacation resort, is the biggest city here, the Mohave are kinda chilling and… What’s with all those damaged ships? 5 Kokangese, 2 Inca, 2 Mohave, 1 Ming and 1 Yemeni ship have all sustained damage. Is it a penalty for being on the ocean too long? Or is there a war I’ve missed? *checks info sheet* nope, no war here.

11: Arapaho

The Arapaho, often criticized for their small army (I may not have voiced such critique, but I’ve certainly thought it) seems to be starting to maybe potentially idk heed our words, question mark. They’re rebuilding their Gulf Fleet after that fiasco against Central America of all people, and have built a large army of mixed tech levels in the Nii-cii-nec-iini’ - Quahadi - Hóo’uu Níit-ko’ús-i’i belt. Not enough to satisfy us sub-dwellers, but it’s a start at least.

12: War profiteering

While the Rioplatense and Inca troops continue to duke it out on the plains and hills of the Platine Basin, Kayapó is mostly, though not completely, content to watch them go from the sidelines. To satisfy themselves, they decided to pluck a citadel on the coast, south of São Salvador, and they’ve outsourced the defence of the citadel to an Indonesian scout. A very unorthodox way to profit from a war, but ok.

13: The Tundra Warfront

Over here we see the northern front of what has become the last remaining of Lithuania’s Eastern Wars. The Permyans are advancing into Lithuanian territory, dealing a tiny bit of damage to Anyksciai. Both sides got the units to hold the front, but lack reinforcements. The fact they’re fighting in the tundra and snow, pockmarked with rivers, hills and forests only further worsens the logistics of this front.

14: Korean-Japanese War

North Korea and Mori seem to have bled each-other’s navies dry (at least the parts thereof that are actually able to reach the front). North Korea should count its lucky stars that Ming has too many ships for Mori to navigate more than 2 ships at a time to Jeju and that the Gokturks closed their borders to Mori.

Leading what’s left of the North Korean attack force on the undamaged Mori capital of Yoshida-Koriyama is Fernando Villaamil. IRL, Villaamil was a Spanish 19th century admiral. Born in Asturias, he would go on to serve in the Philippines and Cuba. He’s credited with the invention of the destroyer type of ship, with the first one being the Destructor, with him providing the blueprints for a British manufacturer to build and then sell to the Spanish navy. Between 1892 and 1894, he circumnavigated the World on the Nautilus. He spent the last 4-ish months of his life serving in the Spanish-American War, dying at the Battle of Santiago de Cuba on 3rd July 1898.

Elsewhere, and correct me if I’m wrong, I think that, next to Miyao, we have our first sighting of the Mori UU, the Murakami Kobaya - a caravel replacement which is slower, but gets a movement boost in coastal tiles. It heals 10 HP on trade routes and 20 HP on tile improvements, and each adjacent land tile grants it +10 Combat Strength.

There’s another one near Sakurao, which I’m only mentioning in the hopes DocIdo pronounces the city’s name the same way BazBattles did in their battle of Miyajima video (timestamp ca. 9:48). Sakurao.

15: Stuck

Here we see the stalemated Cree-Mohave War.

A Mohave fleet is lurking near Vancouver Island, but since there’s no city there, and since no other city on this coast is being attacked, I don’t think anything will come of their presence.

Cree seems to be attempting a land incursion south of Nisichawayasihk, but the Arapaho borders make the approach too narrow for any serious attack. With consistent enough unit production, even if it’s tiny, the small number of units will probably be enough for Mohave to hold them off at the hills between the bottleneck and Captain Jack’s Stronghold.

16: In the high hills

You know what war isn’t stalemated? The Mohave invasion of Central America. Indeed, a combined land and sea assault is currently battering down the defences of Guatemala City. The city’s only defence is a cannon. Mohave cuirassiers are approaching, a privateer and a galleon are bombarding the city, and a cavalry unit has blocked off the only road connecting the capital to San Salvador. Things are looking bad for the Morazán.

17: Marianas Campaign

Meanwhile, in the Mariana Islands, Timor-Leste has launched a campaign of conquest. Having already conquered Hukoara-ts-huerve, they are now sieging Qapotaq-iv’auve, and have even sent a vanguard to Avi Hamoka. We could see the Mohave Marianas collapse by the end of this episode.

18: Maghrebi shenanigans

Over on this slide we see Castile retaking Burgos, with a Malian response yet to properly materialize. Will it come in the form of a counterattack at said city? Or will it instead turn into a crossing into Andalucia? Or will Mali just… not do anything at all? I await to find out with baited breath. Well, not really.

Over in the corner, we also see a Norman equite committing suicide by Am Timan.

19: Solar Rump

Over here we see the much reduced domain of Aten’s chosen. Akhetaten is kinda pressured from all sides, yet also under no immediate threat. I’m assuming none of their neighbours wants to bite that warmonger penalty. Akhenaten insists otherwise however, claiming that the Power of Aten himself is defending the city, and the Chadians, Yemenis and Turks are simply afraid of whatever punishment Aten might dole out should they infringe on the city. His courtiers, who’ve been doing the actual ruling since the days of the empire being carved up, are only pretending to take these words seriously. They have instead taken to satisfying the masses by inviting them free-of-charge to great action dramas by John Woo, whose theatre work they’ve been patronizing.

IRL, John Woo is a Hongkongese film director, producer and scriptwriter, a pioneer in the genres of heroic bloodshed and gun fu, known for his highly chaotic bullet ballet action sequences, stylized imagery, Mexican standoffs, frequent use of slow motion, and allusions to wuxia, film noir and western cinema.

20: Peace in the Eastern Sea

And the Third (?) North Korean-Mori War ends predictably and disappointingly - with no border changes, and lots of wasted (mostly naval) units. They and the now eliminated Ainu will forever remain the disappointing trio, won’t they.

21: Green and Gold are coming back

It feels kinda weird to see the non-Australian civ invading Australia being the green and gold one, rather than the other way around… Whatever.

We have a fully committed Inca amphibious invasion of the Australian mainland, clearly gunning for Minyanbal. And this is exactly how such an invasion should go - a sizeable mixed force of naval units and embarked land units. The only thing left to be desired is the number of units, but even so, the Inca invasion force outnumbers the local Wiradjuri garrison substantially.

22: Ba

I had no idea how to title this slide, so I just put the way my 1-year-old cousin calls me - Ba.

Anyways, in focus on this slide is the Mohave coast and the Ming vacation resort. Not much to see here except for Guiyang’s large population, a respectable homefleet of the Mohave, and the naval concert of one Screamin Jay Hawkins.

IRL, Screamin Jay Hawkins was an American singer, songwriter, musician, actor, film producer and boxer, famed for his operatic voice delivery and wildly theatrical performances. He sometimes included macabre props onstage, making him an early pioneer of shock rock. He was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for his side role in Mystery Train and his most famous song was I Put A Spell On You.

23: Indian Ocean Scuffle

Yemen has sent another, larger invasion force against Pandya, but it had split its forces into two.

The Southern force is a healthy mix of ships and embarked melee troops, but it was also met by a roughly equal Pandyan defence fleet. Even if they win this particular naval battle, the southern force ain’t capturing Thoothukudi, as Pandya has more than enough ships in reserve.

The Northern force, on the other hand, is made up of a naval frontal group escorting an embarked trebuchet, with the embarked melee units trailing behind them. They also encountered a Pandyan defence fleet, but this one is outnumbered, so the Yemenis might have a chance at a breakthrough here. However, once again, the Pandya have a naval reserve off Kerala, and Zulu presence on the Lakshadweep and Indonesian and Zulu units on the sea split the battlesea into a number of chokepoints, further favouring the defenders. Yemen will need to send more reinforcements to this front if they hope to make gains.

A different Yemeni force is clearing out the seas of Pandya’s Deccani territories, but unless there’s a coastal city there (which I don’t recall one) they’re wasting their efforts there.

24: Central Asian Conflicts

Anyways, speaking of wasting efforts, we have a near dead Afghani uhlan trying to deal damage to Tamantarkhan, with its comrades, two of them uhlans, the rest a knight and a line infantry, looking on from a safe distance. Khazaria is weak, but Afghanistan is only investing a few troops into the war, and even if Durrani was to commit more, the narrow, winding approach will stall any assault.

25: Tightening the Noose

The Americans are closing in on Windsor, which has already lost over half its hp. Unless a stupid (on America’s part) peace deal is made, it seems like it’s only a matter of time before Vermont falls. Prime your F keys, folks.

26: Peace in our time

And the largely irrelevant war between Yugoslavia and the Anglo-Dutch is over. Casualties, I suspect, were minimal.

*sigh* Goddammit, Tito, how do you expect to get back into the top half of the power rankings if you aren’t expanding anywhere. Geez. Attack Kyivan Rus’, or something.

27: Icy Waters

Here we see the Okhotsk and Bering seas, the northern parts of the Eastern/Japanese sea and the northernmost reaches of the Pacific ocean. Things are mostly peaceful here now, safe for a few raiding Mohave frigates. The Gökturks and Cree are rebuilding their lands, cities and armies, Mori is peeking up from the south, Ainu and Seminole remnants found refuge with the Cree and Gökturks respectively, and units from Angola, Brandenburg, the Inca, Vladimir, Han, Kokang and North Korea have come to say “Hi”.

28: “Disappointed!!”

Anyone else share the sentiment in the slide title?

Tupac, you had a strong invasion force. You had started dealing damage to Minyabal. You have even weakened the garrison force. Why, for Inti’s sake, have you peaced out now? Heck, you could’ve at least asked for the city in the peace deal. But no. You just stopped there, just short of bringing back the green-and-gold colour scheme to Australia.

In all fairness, the Inca have made great gains in this war, capturing 4 Wiradjuri cities and settling a new one of their own, establishing a strong Pacific core stretching from Papua to Atacama, and with it a potential base for future conquests against the Wiradjuri and Maori and the potential to contest with Timor-Leste and Mohave.

29: Spongebob narrator voice: Meanwhile…

While Inca may have a dominant position on sea, on land they’re floundering. Their attempted counteroffensive towards São Salvador had failed, and a large Rioplatense army is now descending on Machu. They’re yet to deal any damage, but there are no Incan reinforcements on the horizon, so I like the Rioplatense chances here. While a general-colleague of his is dealing with that, general Bertrand du Guesclin has gone through an Andean mountain pass to personally reconnoiter the environs of Quito.

IRL, Bertrand du Guesclin was a lesser noble from Brittany who distinguished himself during the chaos of the Hundred Years’ War. After the great English victories in the Edwardian War and the Breton Succession War, Bertrand became a leader of one among many routieres, or free companies, active in the region throughout the war. He was eventually employed by the new French king, Charles V, and was promoted to Constable of France, which in military matters made him second only to the king. His strategy of raiding English supply lines and shadowing their movements in order to logistically destroy them would define the French war effort over the Caroline war, which, combined with Castilian naval support, would eventually lead to a French victory, England forced to cede all of its Aquitanian conquests and half of its northern conquests.

30: Falling with a boom

The Mohave brought plenty of land and slightly less naval reinforcements, and captured Guatemala City. Some Central American units materialized for a counterattack to relieve the capital, but too little, too late. I doubt they’ll even survive now that such overwhelming Mohave forces arrived. Central America would have to be insanely lucky to survive this.

31: Incanesia

Over here we see the consolidating Inca gains in Melanesia, with the newly settled city of Pulluchu and a highlight on Koca Kas m A a. I planned to go in depth in who this guy is/was IRL, but unfortunately, searching for info up on the nets came up with only irrelevant (mostly Turkish and Serbocroatian) results.

32: [Insert laugh track here]

*15-ish seconds of laughter*

There you go, lol.

Where the old national gov’t made peace with the Anglo-Dutch, the new progressive gov’t secured a peace with Mali.

This was an absolute embarrassment for Mali. Yugoslavia’s Saharan territories of Split and Priština should have been easy pickings. But those absolute buffoons neglected to put a melee unit in front, and just uselessly sieged the former. Right after redeeming itself with its conquests against Tétouan, Mali has once again made itself a laughing stock, and I, for one, am all here for it.

Yugoslavia’s defensive victory here may have been a result of the enemy’s stupidity more than our successes, but a victory is still a victory. I think I’m gonna celebrate by listening to some partisan songs later.

33: Turkey

Meanwhile, Turkey has now entered the Modern Era, only an episode behind the Kayapó.

34: Blue is the new Green

Windsor has fallen. Press F to pay respects to Vermont. There are a few units still milling about, led by general Juan Perón (IRL a past president of Argentina and founder of the eponymous Peronism ideology), but I think it’s safe to say that Vermont has been eliminated at 50th place.

Vermont was never a good civ in this run. They settled a few cities, but their attempt to ally with fellow small-civ Seminole to knock America down a peg or two backfired spectacularly, and both lost a city, in Vermont’s case Montpelier, as a result. IIRC, Montpelier didn’t even fall to an invading army, but a peace deal. Their far flung Icelandic colony was lost to Greenland after an otherwise inconclusive war. They were able to lie low for many episodes since, until last episode apparently saw a large coalition form against them (I assume under a similar memetic drive like the older Kilwa Delenda Est movement). Unfortunately for them, their bigger neighbour was part of that coalition, and had crushed their resistance like one might splat a fly.

35: The Battle of Suzdal

Meanwhile, a combination of Vladimir handing away its biggest city to Lithuania in the peace deal last episode and Vladimir and the Permyans having open borders resulted in an opening of a second, southern front in the Permyan-Lithuanian war. A large Permyan army is descending on Suzdal, with few Lithuanian units around to defend it. The city has only started taking damage, but Azykay definitely has a stronger hand in this battle.

36: If I couldn’t kill him, I’ll avenge him

Sundiata, hearing of Vermont being eliminated by America, decided that if he couldn’t be the one to eliminate Vermont, he’ll take vengeance on the eliminator instead, declaring war on his oh-so-recent ally. Mali doesn’t seem to have mobilized a fleet in the region for this though, so I think Tiwanaku is safe.

Also, Mali retook Burgos.

37: More Indian Ocean Fighting

Yemen is sending a third invasion force, this time much more consolidated, a denser group of units in the same area, with some diversionary vessels and embarkments further south. A part of the Pandya navy seems to have taken the bait too, weakening the force defending the main approach towards Maldives, Lakshadweep and Kerala. With some reinforcements and a little bit of luck, I could see Yemen breaking the ad hoc defences Pandya has on the main approach and laying siege to Thoothukudi. However, the Pandya admiral, Edward Teach, is not gonna go down without a fight, and is determined to stop the Yemenis as far away from any city as possible.

IRL, Edward Teach, more famously known as Blackbeard, was one of the greatest pirates in early modern history. Instead of talking about him myself, I’m gonna redirect you to Epic History TV’s video about him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eyKPDsOyR8.

(Hopefully DocIdo puts the link in the audio-narration’s description for those who don’t read these but watch those)

38: Peace in the Sahara

Chad and the Normans end their inconclusive war, signing a white peace. The war proved to be little more than a graveyard for the fallen and an xp farm for the surviving.

39: Northern War

Greenland DOW’d America, presumably to retake Holsteinsborg. The two sides seem evenly matched on the frontline, but how the war develops depends on how quickly they can reinforce the frontline.

40: Things are going swimmingly

Here we have an image of a Comanche inquisitor taking a swim in a lake southwest of the Rio Grande. I’m not sure which lake it is. I tried looking at maps for a suitable IRL lake, but Lake Presa El Cuchillo is just a little bit too southeast, while Lake Don Martin is a bit too far northwest. Was Monterrey perhaps built over a lake that no longer exists IRL? Let me know in the comments.

41: Peace in the Pacific Northwest

The Mohave and the Cree have made peace, ending exactly where they started - at the Columbia River.

42: Pressure-Cooker

The Central American army has been relegated to just one musketman, and their navy consists of just a caravel and a galleass, who are already engaging in battle with a Mohave galleon. The Mohave land army, consisting of cuirassiers, cavalry, field guns, line infantry and crossbowmen is closing in, and has already started dealing damage to San Salvador.

Prime your F keys, folks, this episode might just become a double elimination one.

43: Amphibious winter campaign

Over in the East European Arctic, the Permyans founded the city of Kuva and then used it as a jumping off base to launch an amphibious assault on Anyksciai. For whatever reason, Azykay seems to really want that specific miserable Arctic city, focusing nearly all his units on this front at it, leaving the Kuva - Ekspera line virtually defenceless. If the Vladimirians, Yugoslavs and Kyivans weren’t so obstructive, this would present a good opportunity for a Lithuanian counterattack.

44: ARR

Here we have a look at the Greater Antilles, neatly divided between the Muisca and America. A war between them would be very interesting to- WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIITT A SECONND.

There! At Detroit! Is that-?

Yep, he’s back. Henry Morgan, veteran of the CBR Mk1 and CBR Mk2, has made his appearance in this season as a great admiral in service to America. Kinda fitting, seeing as he revived America in Mk2 that one time. Usually, I’d talk about the historical figure of a great person, but I just gotta get a Mk2 nostalgia load off my tongue (or, well, I guess fingertips here) rn. Conqueror of the Maya, Portugal and Morocco. Waged successful wars against the Inca Mali, Chile, Mexico, and even managed to put the eventual winner Brazil to shame at one point. Dominating nearly all the Caribbean seaboard, half of South America, a big chunk of Africa and Iberia, Henry Morgan’s ARR was truly an empire to be reckoned with. But the first Orange Containment Project saw it heavily weakened, even moreso after the Brazilian betrayal. Finland kicked them out of mainland Europe, while some of the cities they’ve lost to the Boers were taken by Iceland. When Parkes arrived to crush the Buccs, Brazil and the Inuit came to their defence. Ultimately, like every other civ in the Mk2, the Buccs would be forced to join the Eternal Carnival.

It’s great to see you again, you magnificent bastard.

45: Western European Ambitions

Mali and Castille are skirmishing off the coast of Andalucia and the Algarve. Although Mali is certainly stronger than Castile, I do think they’re getting a bit overconfident here, as they believe they can rush through the rest of Castile and then go on to invade the Anglo-Dutch, whom they’ve just DOW’d.

46: Wonder Time!

Meanwhile, in the Cree capital of Sipiwininiwak, construction has been finished on a museum that contains a pyramid of glass. The Louvre grants +2 culture, a free great artist and +4 great works of art slots - useless in a domination game, but still pretty cool.

47: Anglo-Dutch Coalition

The Inca and the Normans declare war on the Anglo-Dutch. These wars are of little concern to William, however - the Inca are far away, and the Normans only have one unit that can attack them, as Yugoslav and Malian tiles are preventing naval forces from engaging, and a Kokangese scout is occupying the only land tile on the border.

48: Malgasy Mess

Over here, we see the messy borders of Madagascar and the surrounding seas. If it were to come to a war, Kilwa has a slight edge over the Zulu, but I don’t expect serious gains from either side.

49: Gov’t Ov’view 1

We now get to the government overview slides.

The Mohave, the Arapaho and Mali are all imperial dynasties. Mali seems to still be going on with the traditional factions, as the heirs dominate the empire’s politics. The Mohave and the Arapaho however have already risen to party politics, with the former being ruled by the socialist Workers’ Rally, while the latter is under the rule of the national Arapaho Patriotic Group.

All of the merchant leagues visible here - Ming, Greenland, Chile, Chad and Pandya - are still in the era of factional politics, with the former two dominated by their merchants’ guilds, and the rest by their aristocrats.

Finally, we have the military dictatorships, with Egypt still stuck in factional politics, with the military dominating, while Turkey is under the rule of the conservative Turkish Anti-Immigration Forward Path.

50: Gov’t Ov’view 2

Monarchies are the most common gov’t type around here. Of the 10 on screen, 8 are still in factional politics, with Mori, the Anglo-Dutch, the Maori and the Normans dominated by the bourgeoisie, the Massagetae dominated by the nobility, the Modoc and Anglo-Norse gov’ts-in-exile dominated by populists and the Kwak gov’t-in-exile dominated by citizens. The Philippine gov’t-in-exile is ruled by the national Patriotic Path, and the Permyans by the progressive People’s Path.

51: Gov’t Ov’view 3

Since this slide and the next slide are almost the same, I’ll focus on the living monarchies here and exiled monarchy on the next slide.

Out of those with factional politics, the Gökturks, Vladimir and Ireland are dominated by the bourgeoisie, while the Muisca, Castile and the Zulu are dominated by their nobility. As for those with party politics, Brandenburg is ruled by the national Law and Justice Commune, while Bengal is ruled by the green Anti-Industry Democracy Syndicate of Bengal.

52: Gov’t Ov’view 4

Babylon, which has been marked as in-exile (exiled from where tho???), is somewhat amusingly ruled by the Kokang United Fellowship. Even more hilariously, Brazil’s gov’t-in-exile is ruled by the progressive Afghan People’s Congress.

53: Gov0t Ov’view 5

Next up are the principalities. Tétouan is the only one of them with factional politics, dominated by its citizens. Kokang is ruled by the national Kokang United Fellowship, while Yemen is ruled by the Socialists.

We also get half of the republics on this slide. 3 of these are still in factional politics, the Seminole gov’t-in-exile dominated by its nobility, the Vermontian gov’t-in-exile dominated by its oligarchs, and Rio de la Plata dominated by populists. As for the other republics, all with party politics, both Uganda and Yugoslavia seem to be ruled by national parties, under the Patriotic Path and Liberal Democratic Path respectively, while Timor-Leste is ruled by the green Constitutional Anti-Industry Alignment, and the Inca by the social democratic Social Fraternity.

54: Gov’t Ov’view 6

The second half of the republics is much less advanced on average. Of the 7 of them, 6 are still in factional politics, with the Ainu gov’t-in-exile and Khazaria dominated by their oligarchs, whilst Botswana, Lithuania, North Korea and Angola are dominated by populists. America, who’s in party politics, is currently ruled by the socialist Left Bloc.

Other than that, this slide also features tribal confederacies, with Kyivan Rus’ dominated by its faction of elders, and the Kayapó ruled by the nationalist Black Forces of Kayapó party.

Finally, there’s one gov’t-in-exile that still hasn’t yet graduated from the level of a tribe, and yet somehow already rose to party politics. The Comanche gov’t-in-exile is run by the socialist Workers’ Rally.

55: Progressive Rock

Here we see a shot of America, consolidating its Vermontian gains while also sending fleets to war with Greenland, and honestly… but for that fleet, America is looking mostly barren in military terms.

Meanwhile, at Washington, the band Pink Floyd is holding a concert. IRL, they were a progressive rock band active from the 1960s to the 1990s, and occasionally return for events and concerts for a brief time in the decades since. Although I can’t remember any song names off the top of my head, I certainly know I’ve listened to some. My parents and probably some of my extended family too will probably enjoy the mention of them.

56: Vivi

Continuing the standard of titling slides IDK how to title with ways my 1yo cousin calls people, I put Vivi, which is how he refers to my younger brother. Kinda fitting, given how my brother shares the first name with the great person highlighted in this slide.

Ivan the Terrible needs no introduction. A mid 16th century tsar of Russia, it was during his reign that Russia secured its hold over the Volga basin, conquering the Kazan and Astrakhan Khanates, as well as crossing into Siberia, conquering the Sibir Khanate. His participation in the Livonian Wars and just wars against the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth in general had much less permanence in terms of gains tho. Ivan was also the leader of Muscovy in the first season of CBRX, with a more lackluster record. There he acted more like the sandwich filling between more powerful civs like the Sami, Prussia, the Goths and the Kazakhs.

Elsewhere on this slide, not much seems to be happening, though a scattering of Malian, Castilian and American units are active. Are there maybe gonna be joint Castilian-American operations against Burgos and Christianshåb? Let’s wait and see.

Also, by the way DocIdo, I’m like 85% sure the å in Christianshåb is supposed to be pronounced like an o.

57: The Middle Realm

Han has declared war on the Anglo-Dutch, giving us an excuse to look at their core. There is a good amount of Han units in the west of the empire and several smaller concentrations or at least garrisons elsewhere, but the land is mostly barren. What’s kinda odd and somewhat worrying for Han fans, though, is the sizeable concentration of Tuvan units surrounding Chang’an, stretching over what’s IRL Shaanxi province, Ningxia AR, easternmost parts of Gansu province and the Ordos Loop area within Inner Mongolia.

I don’t know, I think a coalition of at least some of Han’s neighbours could deal plenty of damage on them rn.

58: Cross-Channel Conflict

Ireland also declared on the Anglo-Dutch, but I’m kinda questioning the viability of the choice, if I’m being honest. There’s a large concentration of naval units outside the Hague, so they could reasonably nab Rotterdam. Oviedo, despite a much lower defence stat, may be a bit tougher to crack, seeing as very few Anglo-Dutch units are directed towards there, but I reckon they might be able to turn it into a flip-fest. Ireland’s choice of enemy wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was a bit premature IMO. Maybe better mobilize or at least better position your army and navy before declaring war next time, Collins.

59: Baking some potatoes

What? Potatoes originate in the Andes, yeah? And the Incas are from the Andes, too. Of course I’m gonna be making such a slide title.

Rioplatense units are approaching and dealing damage to Machu, defended by a single crossbowmen, the defence of the city led by a certain Stanisław Koniecpolski. Will the city hold out long enough for Tupac to build and send a relief force? Probably not, but we’ll see.

IRL, Stanisław Koniecpolski was a general in the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth army during the early and mid 17th centuries. He served in the Dimitriads, a series of Russo-Polish conflicts that almost saw the Commonwealth conquer Russia, before ultimately failing to, as well as in the Moldavian Magnate Wars, where the Commonwealth, Ottomans and Habsburgs contended over which of their preferred candidates would rule the principality, and would eventually be captured by the Ottomans in 1620, but upon his release in 1623 he went on to defeat the Tatars multiple times. Stanisław would go on to fight Gustavus Adolphus’ Swedes, managing to defend Polish possessions in Prussia and Pomerania, and fought Cossack rebels and Tatar raiders. He rose through the ranks to eventually become the Commonwealth’s Grand Hetman, the highest military authority after the king himself. He defeated the Ottomans again at Kamenyets-Podolski in 1634 and then won his most famous victory over the Tatars at Ochmatów in 1644. He died just two years later.

60: The pressure rises

Mohave is tightening the noose around San Salvador, bringing the city to half health, and with two naval units as its only defence.

61: “Terrain problems or border problems?”“Yes”

Afghanistan is still failing to make any progress against Tamantarkhan. More uhlans and cuirassiers are crossing the border, but I don’t like their chances. The approach to the city is far too narrow, and no artillery support is being provided.

62: Incanesia 2

Over here, we see the Inca enjoying their Pacific possessions. The cities look healthy, but perhaps I overestimated their ability to project power here. Most of their naval power is in the west, leaving the eastern cities with just garrison forces, if even that. Highlighted here also is Syed Ali Shah.

I don’t think that the results google gave me are the ones I’m looking for, seeing as the one it’s giving me is a Kashmiri islamist/separatist leader.

63: Kokang

Here we have a nice shot of Kokang’s empire. Nice cities, a large army and navy, defensible terrain… and a failing invasion of Cambodia. Let’s take a look at Calonymus of Alexandria then.

IRL, he was an Eastern Roman navarch (admiral) who served as the commander of the naval forces in the Vandalic War - Justinian’s reconquest of Africa. He’s said to have looted goods from local merchants, thus directly defying Belisarius’ orders. When prosecuted, he swore under oath that he was innocent, so he was discharged and allowed to retire to Contantinople, where he died from a seizure.

64: Central Europe

Over here we get a nice view of the Brandenburgian core, with a mid-sized but advanced army. We also see Thornton Wilder, IRL an American playwright and three-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize.

Off to the side, we see the Hague fleet split into two prongs, one moving into the straits of Dover, the other sailing north.

65: Baykal Shores

Over here we see the peaceful land of the blue civs, focusing mostly on Tuva and the Gökturks. Both have sizeable armies, both a mix of outdated and more modern units.

66: Vinland Blues

The Americans seem to have made a little bit of headway against the Greenlanders, but this is far from a breakthrough still. The course of the war still hangs in the balance.

Also wow, no wonder the Anglo-Dutch invasion went nowhere. Tito left Yugoslavia to enroll as a general in the Greenlandic army. It’s taking me all of my power to not make a sentence that will spoil a future slide.

67: The… mountain? fox

Leading the Rioplatense charge at Machu is Erwin Rommel, arguably the most famous of Germany’s WW2 generals. Good timing, for back on 6th March, when I was the only student attending the Modern History class at uni, the professor talked a lot about the man’s participation in the war. From his role on the western front, to his arrival to Libya, to the back-and-forth chasing across the desert, to El Alamein, the great retreat, Tunisia, return to the western front, to eventually his suicide after a failed coup attempt - one he refused to participate in, but also didn’t blow the whistle on.

68: Congratulations, your St. Saviour has been cooked. You may now serve it at the table for 4.

San Salvador has finally fallen, and with a half-dead caravel the only Central American military unit on screen, we can safely say that Morazán has been eliminated at 49th place.

Central America suffered from a lack of action. They failed to settle into Mexico while the Mohave were distracted or later take advantage of what was at the time Mohave’s lack of units to invade their Mexican cities. They failed to expand on the Seminoles’ expense fast enough, allowing America to swoop in. They fell behind technologically. Their first war with the Muisca started, ironically, somewhat promisingly, but quickly turned against them. The second war proved much more destructive, costing them 3 cities. Both the Muisca and the Inca briefly captured the capital, but it was the newly-ascendant Mohave that would prove the final death-knell of Central America. F.

69: Madeiran Trouble

A Castilian force is moving in to retake Burgos. A Malian counterforce is also in the area, preparing to sink the embarked units and flip the city should it fall. Nothing much else to note on this slide. No siree.

70: This is much slower than I expected.

Machu is still under pressure from the Rioplatense, but the only reinforcements that came was Paul McCartney. Presumably, his role is to lift the morale and spirit of the field cannon crews making up the garrison.

IRL, Paul McCartney is (the rest of this slide is just a direct quote of Wikipedia): “an English singer, songwriter and musician who gained worldwide fame with the Beatles, for whom he played bass guitar and shared primary songwriting and lead vocal duties with John Lennon. One of the most successful composers and performers of all time, McCartney is known for his melodic approach to bass-playing, versatile and wide tenor vocal range, and musical eclecticism, exploring genres ranging from pre-rock and roll pop to classical, ballads, and electronica. His songwriting partnership with Lennon remains the most successful in history.”.

71: Papua and surroundings

Over here we see most of the Timor-Leste Empire more-or-less in focus, tightening their grip over their recent gains, as well as the Incan Papuan territory, where Filippo Brunelleschi is thinking up new architectural styles. By this point, I’ve become too lazy and tired to type out stuff about these great people, so for Brunelleschi, I’ll just redirect you to OSP’s Renaissance Antics video, where Brunelleschi is thankfully the first guy talked about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDO4MGcZnUk.

72: War in the Tarim

Botswana and Tuva have DOW’d Afghanistan. The former is irrelevant, but the latter has a Tarim Basin frontline between their isolated outpost-city of Izhma and the Afghani mountain-pass-fortress-city of Jalandhar. The terrain on both sides favours the defender, but I think Tuva will probably try offense first, which kinda sucks for, seeing as they’re slightly technologically behind the Afghans.

Afghanistan has also built the Brandenburg Gate, earning +1 culture, +2 Great Scientist points, a free great general and +15 XP for all units built in the city the Brandenburg Gate was constructed in. Nifty.

73: Battle of Suzdal continued

The Permyans accepted a peace deal from Han, and to celebrate, they mount pressure of Suzdal, reducing it to 40% health. No unit is in position to capture the city yet, but things are getting more dire on this front for Lithuania.

74: León

For whatever reason, we’re now shown a slide of the large Castilian city of León. It is a nice city, and the Castilian fleet in the bay of Biscay is kinda nice to look at I guess, but I’m guessing this is mostly supposed to be a breather slide.

Oh hey, Mori is enjoying a golden age. Good for them.

75: End of the war

As a bloodthirsty Babylonian, I’m disappointed, but as someone who prefers Lithuania over the Permyans, I’m relieved. Lithuania and the Permyans have made peace. No stupid city exchanges happen, and it’s also quite difficult to judge whether Anyksciai ended up Lithuanian or Permyan. I think it’s Lithuanian, but we’ll need someone with better eyes than mine to take a look at the minimap. Good thing I’m getting glasses on the day of the PRs.

76: On the way of the Gulf Stream

In this shot, we see Ireland in most of its glory, as well as the Brandenburgian island colonies. The Anglo-Dutch seem to be making a move on these lands, potentially trying to strike at Galway and Baltimore. Brandenburg, meanwhile, got a new great writer in the form of Zygmunt Krasiński. (the Polish ń pronounced like the Spanish ñ)

IRL, Krasiński was a poet, remembered as one of the Three Bards - Polish romanticist poets who influenced national consciousness. His most famous works include The Undivine Comedy, Psalm to the Future*, Irydion and Predawn.

*Note: I find it quite weird how the Polish word for “future” is “przyszłośc”, as in my native Serbocroatian, the similar-sounding word “prošlost” means “past”.

77: Moving South

The Tuvan expedition in Han territory has moved south, into the area southeast of Jianye and around Longbian. And I finally realized what the Tuvans’ purpose here is - Tuva is at war with Ming, and this force moving through Han lands is supposed to be Tuva taking what would otherwise be an irrelevant war seriously. For the most part, Ming seems to be able to parry them technologically. The only field where Tuva has the edge here is their more advanced artillery. Let’s see if that’ll be enough to capture Fuzhou. I wouldn’t bet on it, but one can hope.

78: Brandenburg Gate

We finally see which city the Brandenburg Gate was built in - Jammu.

Moving on…

79: OH FUCK

OH FUCK

Brandenburg has just DOW’d Yugoslavia. Taking good advantage of Tito’s absence, I see. No matter, the republics and autonomous provinces are taking charge of the war effort, with differing levels of efficiency. Brandenburg is strong, and the threat its army poses to Zagreb is very real, but I have trust that Yugoslavia will be able to pull through, its army bloodied and cities damaged, but borders intact.

80: Antarctic Warfare

On the other side of the World, Chile DOWs Kokang, hoping to snatch some undefended Antarctic colonies.

81: Blue meets Red

At the same time, the Gökturks DOW Mori, presumably hoping to nab Usukeshi and maybe Miiri-Takamatsu. For a historically steppe-nomadic empire, the CBRX Gökturks seems to have eagerly embraced the sea, seen in their earlier successful conquest of the Ainu and now the naval invasion of Mori. A sizable fleet is descending on northern Japan, and reinforcements from both sides will be somewhat slow to arrive. Leading the Gökturk charge is admiral Alvaro de Bazan, his eyes firmly poised on the former final Ainu holdout of Usukeshi.

IRL, Alvaro de Bazan was a 16th century Spanish nobleman and admiral, notable for his participations in: Spain’s capture of Vélez de la Gomera (a rock in Morocco that’s under Spain’s rule to this day); the Christian relief force to the Great Siege of Malta; the quelling of the Morisco Revolt; the battle of Lepanto; the 1573 Spanish re-capture of Tunis; the Spanish incorporation of Portugal; and the capture of the last Portuguese anti-Spanish hold-out in the Azores.

82: Meanwhile, in Mauritius

In an interesting reversal of the usual shtick in the Yemeni-Pandyan War, a Pandyan galleon is bombarding Yemen’s Mauritian colony of Jibla. The city won’t fall to that ship, and I’m not sure the other one to the northeast is gonna be enough either, especially with that Yemeni frigate there.

83: Wiradjuri

Over here, we have a look at the Wiradjuri core, with a respectable fleet and the closest thing Wiradjuri has to a larger-than-a-garrison army. The citizens of Bungambrawatha, the largest city on slide, are enjoying a concert by The Smiths, IRL an English rock band whose style fuses 60s rock and post-punk.

84: “That’s it. You can’t have the city if you won’t behave”

America, tired of seeing Castile and Mali constantly flip Burgos between them, decided to swoop in, capture the now 1-pop city, and burn it to the ground. Any Malian unit is too far to retake the city in time to save it.

85: Vinland campaign

America is holding a firm advantage over Greenland now, even landing troops on Vinland, with a near-dead line infantry even dealing damage to Egedesminde. The city isn’t under any real threat of falling, and it's very likely the American landings will be bushed right back into the sea, but this is still a worrying sign for the Greenlanders.

86: Skirmishing

The Tuvans have finally reached the Ming border, initiating their attack. However, things seem to have started on the wrong foot for them there. Rivers and Han units certainly aren’t helping the Tuvans either.

87: Nothing to lose but our chains

The Mohave adopt the Communism ideology, with Irataba promising to emancipate the workers of the World and establish equality through class struggle. What the means to this end would be and whether that end will ever be reached is up to question.

88: Taking Crimea

Turkey keeps sending a ship and a bunch of embarked units to besiege Novgorod with minimal success. Cuirassiers and line infantry and… are those fucking chimeras?! WTF are they doing in the modern era? Is this a bug? What?

89: Tarim Trouble

Predictably, the Tuvan-Afghan War has descended into a stalemate, as damaged Tuvan units are slowly trying to make their way into Afghan territory. In their way are Jalandhar’s line infantry garrison, a unit of uhlans, and our first sighting of the Afghan UU - the Jezailchi, a cavalry replacement that has 4 combat strength points less than cavalry, but compensates for that with +1 range, +34 ranged combat, as well as a 20% attack boost on hills and a 10% combat strength boost in friendly territory.

90: MADeira

And with that, Burgos is gone. The American galleon that burned it down now lays near dead outside Tegdaoust. Meanwhile, its Malian counterpart ran into a Kayapó fleet.

91: How many China images do we need?

While the Tuvan Expeditionary Force is being ground down at the border, Han is just kinda vibing here. Helping them is the concert in Jinyang, held by the band Joy Division.

IRL, Joy Division is yet another English rock band. The band was only active for 4 years, as one of its members committed suicide, but they did win some fame, particularly with their songs Closer and Love Will Tear Us Apart.

An irrelevant war ends as Indonesia and the Massagetae make peace.

92: Botswana

And right on cue, two irrelevant wars begin, as Kokang and the Anglo-Dutch declare on Botswana, giving us an excuse to take a look at the latter and their unit carpet. What’s with that weird salient of Zulu territory stretching from Maun to Selibe Phikwe, though?

93: Barren

Over here we see the Tuvan-Permyan border, and a contrast is immediately obvious. Having previously overcommitted to the Lithuanian war, the Permyans left their Tuvan border almost entirely defenceless. If Tuva declared now, they could easily snatch a city or two.

Speaking of, Tuva also accepted a peace deal from the Massagetae.

There’s also a Dusty Springfield concert in Pyras. IRL, she was a pop singer from the 50s to the 90s, and was an icon of the Swinging Sixties.

94: A burning channel

Timor-Leste has declared war on the Anglo-Dutch, but these pay them no mind, as their fleet is engaged in bloody battle against the Irish fleet and a Norman privateer off the coast of Rotterdam, which has also suffered a bit of damage. Oviedo is undamaged, but the Anglo-Dutch are increasing the pressure there too, and while their chances at Rotterdam are rapidly waning, they may yet luck out here.

95: Red Yemen

Yemen too had adopted the Communism ideology, no doubt to strengthen ties with their bigger northern neighbour.

Speaking of said neighbour,Turkey has built two new wonders.

The first is the Neuschwanstein, providing +6 gold, +2 happiness, +4 culture and +1 great merchant point, as well as giving every city with a castle +3 gold, +2 culture and +1 happiness each.

The second is the Kremlin, which grants +1 culture and +1 great scientist point, as well as a free social policy and +50% armour unit production in the city in which it was built.

96: Timor-Moderno

Timor-Leste has entered the modern era. The future looks bright and promising for this prosperous empire.

Also, no sooner had he made peace with her does Donduk Kuular start plotting against Tomyris again.

97: Bye-bye

For our final shot of the episode, we take a glance at Istanbul, where the Kremlin was built.

Also, I will note, I find it very weird how none of the wonders built this episode were by Kayapó.

Thank you for tuning in for another episode of the CBRX S3. I hope you enjoyed my narration. Put some commentary, constructive criticism and other feedback in the comments. Have a nice day, week, month, etc. This is BV, saying ćao.

Episode 22: A Cylinder in Flux – S3

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