Episode 43: War’s Zenith – S3

August 30, 2023

QuantumBotany

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1: Introduction

Hi everybody, My name is U/QuantumBotany, long time lurker, CBR enjoyer, and author of one (1) piece of OC published last week, and I will be your narrator and guide for this week's episode. Since the rate of conquest has slowed in the late game, most of the narration in this episode will be based on my personal headcanon. Thus, please feel free to disagree, discuss, or disregard my first attempts at creative writing in the comments. I am INSANELY excited to share this episode with you all, so lets get into it!

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2: Riding a DOLPHIN?

Here we have a piece of OC from the lovely and talented u/ExplosiveWatermelon on Reddit. In this thought-provoking piece, William III, the leader of the Anglo-Dutch, rides a dolphin over the endless and bountiful sea. I’ve always wondered how one would ride a marine animal, given that I cannot breathe underwater, but it seems that William III has it figured out. Props to him!

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3: American Dreams

Here we have another installment of the best weekly comic series, by none other than the magnanimous U/Orangechrisy. The short Avi Motan empire is one of the most memorable, yet confusing parts of the CBRX3, and indeed the CBR as a whole. The offshoot city state, which at one point even controlled a capital, is unbelievable, even to Irataba himself.

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4: Patrons

Thank you to all the patrons of the Civ Battle Royale! Like the patrons of the Renaissance era, who sponsored the works of Michaelangelo and Da Vinci, you support the best works of art and culture the modern world has to offer.

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5: Trouble For Timor

Timor Leste is by and large, the biggest upset in the history of the CBR, as well as my favorite. Even in the second stage of total war they maintain the #2 spot. Nobody expected anything of them, but they are providing a good show for the bloodthirsty crowd on the sub.

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6: The Battle of Hamhung, Pt1

We will start this week's album with an image of the recently re-established Mohave occupation of the North Korean peninsula. Occupation authorities here have a tough job. The once-great Mohave empire has seen a steep decline since the beginning of the first wave of Total War. Their homeland in California, as well as their vice-princedom of Mexico, languish under Arapaho occupation. The long-lost Mohave colony Avi Mota is now only the most recent of Ahmad Shah Durrani’s imperial conquests. The only territories that remain nominally as a part of the ancient Princedom are islands in the Pacific. Korean occupation authorities watch nervously as Mohave Biotroopers attack the walls of Hamhung. There aren’t many territories left for them to lose.

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7: A Brief Respite

Over in the Horn of Africa, the Citizens of Mbarara murmur cautiously in their bunkers. The bombings stopped. In fact, not a single bomb has been heard for over a day. “It doesn’t matter why! We need food, We need water, we need medicine, and I’m going out there to find it.” exclaimed the dark-haired man. His breath stank of hashish, sweat, tobacco, and vomit.  “I can’t do it alone though. I beg, those here who are fit to make a journey, please come with me. The bombs might kill us, but starvation and submission surely will.” Several greasy, tired faces peered at him, then rose. Several more followed, and following them was a flood of people, from all walks of life, all with one goal: Find help for the city of Mbarara. Even as the first caravan of people reached the irradiated Ugandan highlands, people still poured out of the bunkers in a single file. They were going to live, one way or another.

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08: The Battle of Hamhung, Pt2

Chaos reigns in the Mohave high command. It was a trap. When biotroopers entered the walled city of Hamhung, they found little resistance. Only once a forward base, with a mustered force of over 300,000 troops, along with the nearly 4 million inhabitants of the city, did the nuclear strike come in. 15 “Bengali” class nuclear ICBMs slammed into the city and its surrounding areas, with a flash of light that was seen all the way from Pengcheng. 85% of Mohave assets, along with an estimated 55% of the city’s population, were eliminated. An Afghan communiqué intercepted by Babylonian agents justified the action as such: “Not only was any Mohave offensive momentum decisively crushed, but our future lands in Manchuria will be depopulated of undesirables, vastly easing our Afghan resettlement program in the region.

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09: The Great Turkish Islamic Federation

Far from the frontlines, the Imamates of Balkhash, Massagettae, Permia, and Western Tuva recover from Turkey’s conquest of the region. Unlike many of the other superstates that exist on the cylinder, The Great Turkish Islamic Federation treats the citizens of its conquered territories with a certain amount of respect. Regional governments, called Imamates, operate in the local language in addition to Turkish, manage local affairs without significant interference, and can hire their own officials. One point that is non-negotiable for the Great Sheikh Ataturk in Ankara, however, is religion. Islam is strictly enforced as the only state religion, and other religions, prevalent mostly in Turkey’s Siberian territories, are De Facto banned. This, however, does little to stop citizens from worshipping in secret. Just don’t tell anybody ok? ;)

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10: A Backhand Blow in Lingqiu

The Mohave High Command continues to surprise, as biotroopers equipped with aquatic adaptations such as gills located on their armpits, and webbed feet, descend upon the Afghan-occupied city of Lingqiu. Afghan authorities are shocked to see a counterattack so soon after the Hamhung strike, but mount a defense with local resources nonetheless. Disturbingly, the Biotroopers clambering onto the docks seem, according to genetic analysis, to have formerly been North Korean civilians, modified and fitted with control implants by Mohave military bioengineers.

Another intercepted Afghan High command Communique: “Despite the unexpectedness of today's attack, the implications of genetic analyses are good news: The Mohave are running out of bodies. Thankfully, we are nowhere close to running out of shells, nuclear warheads, or armor.”

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11: Piet Mondrian, Muse of Mbarara

As trade caravans continue to pour out of Mbarara, Piet Mondrian (OTL a Dutch painter and art theoretician who is regarded as one of the greatest abstract artists of the 20th century.) ponders his position in the current conflict. Originally an Anglo-Dutch citizen, he fled the destruction of the Irish Isles all the way around the Cape to Yemeni Somalia. He thought he had escaped war, but in reality, he had escaped only one. Looking over the bomb-cratered skyline of the city, he sighed. “How absolutely miserable,” he thought, as he lightly laid another brushstroke on his canvas.

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12: Total War Arrives Again

The Hague experienced a rude awakening last night. An air raid siren filled the air of the hot summer night. Many people wondered “Are the Burgers attacking again?” Others thought it was perhaps the infamous Turkish menace, coming to finish them off. A few citizens even considered the possibility of a Malian strike in the South. Few considered, perhaps despite historical precedent, that an external influence, far beyond their understanding, had decided that today was the day the world went to war.

And thus, the second round of total war begins.

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13: The Calm Before the Storm.

The Sahara Desert, historically the site of many conflicts, stands at the precipice of yet another one. For now though, due to the lack of units in the immediate area, the dunes remain quiet. An old woman, sitting on her porch in Palermo, dozes off.

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14: The Khorasan Front Roars Back to Life

Iran once again burns. The first volleys of missiles slice through the air and destroy military installations across the region, with varying degrees of success. Six-unit army groups, stationed around cities on both sides of the front, prepare to clash.

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15: War on the Sea

A fleet of highly advanced Timorese ships creeps up the Ryukyuan island chain. They aim to capture the Mohave settlement of Mant Hkar. The Timorese navy is widely known to be the finest in the world, second only to perhaps the Inca (a classic argument at bars around the cylinder. The winner of this argument tends to be the biggest guy at the bar you happen to be in, weirdly enough). Despite being confined to several disparate island territories, Mohave possesses very few operable naval vessels, most of which are currently staving off the Inca in Hawaii. This is bad news for the Mohave, who are significantly outmatched in materiel in the region.

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16: Mexican Standoff

Thundering steps can be heard in the verdant, yet war-torn valleys of what used to be the Mohave Vice-Princedom of Mexico. These lands, once among the most productive and prosperous regions of the cylinder, have been stripped of their resources and thoroughly plundered by the forces of the Arapaho League.The Inca, having recently gained a foothold in the region by means of their signature naval blitzkrieg tactics, have struggled to restore the destroyed infrastructure on their side of the border. The Arapaho, with their brobdingnagian military-industrial complex, have had no such issues, and are mustering a massive invasion force to attempt to remove the Incan foothold in the region.

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17: The Reclamation War

The Brandenburg National Reclamation front, having recently overthrown the half of the prior government that made it out of Berlin, has begun its invasion of the so-called Imamate of Oranienburg. Spearheading this frontal assault is a massive wave of Power Armor Infantry, a fixture piece of Atlantic militaries. Due to limited manpower and agricultural resources, and abundant mineral resources, Power Armor is much preferred over biotroopers in Brandenburg, the Anglo-Dutch Empire, and Mali.

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18: Andaman Invasion

Rangpur, historically a Bengali city, fell under Timor’s red curtain in the last phase of Total War. Little news gets in, or out. The trickle of news coming out of Rangpur as of recent, however, has indicated an Afghan invasion force has reached the island city. Nobody knows what will happen next.

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19: The North Sea Rebellion

Since the collapse of the Berlin government, civilian law enforcement has sharply declined in presence, especially in the outlying islands of the North Sea. With most land forces tied down in the Scandinavian front, many people who would otherwise not rebel for fear of government violence, are now emboldened. The citizens of the islands of Orkney and the Faroes, using smuggled military bioengineering equipment (decommissioned by the new government), have unleashed chimeras on local law enforcement.There are a few land units that can respond, but in all likelihood, this will be dealt with in the same way the Brandenburg deal with most problems: unrestricted offshore bombardment by the navy.

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20: The Reclamation War falters.

Back on the Scandinavian front, Brandenburg forces have surrounded the island city of Lyda. An assault on the city has not yet been ordered, but it can be assumed that this is all part of a complex strategic encirclement maneuver. Right? Right?

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21: The Crawler

Manchuria burns. Forces from 4 different powers make battle here. Most soldiers, if indeed they are soldiers and not bioengineered monsters or robots, do not know who they are fighting before they see the insignias of their enemies. The strongest presence appears to be Afghanistan, which not only possesses a significant land presence but also is currently deploying a new weapon- a crawler. Currently undergoing maintenance in the city of Romitan, this Kandahar class crawler is the newest in Afghan military technology. Based on a Timorese design, It is a massive artillery cannon, with a barrel around 27 feet in diameter, that can strike targets over 100 miles away with 10-ton payloads.These can include cluster munitions, bioweapons, nuclear warheads, and firebombs. The most terrifying aspect of this engine of war, however, is that this massive cannon, supported with anti-air and support weaponry bristling from every side of the machine, can walk. Supported by 4 massive mechanical legs, the crawler looms over 150 feet in the air. This, combined with an impenetrable nanomaterial hull, makes it nearly unassailable from the ground. It is likely that the incorporation of such a weapon into the Afghan Imperial Forces will afford many victories in the future.

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22: Arapaho Arsenal

The Arapaho war machine roars to life, as 4 giant death robots, a name coined by Incan soldiers, shortly before they were struck with dimensional weaponry that collapsed them into only 2 dimensions, batter down the walls of Huukyame. The Arapaho, ever obsessed with the latest advances in physics, use these nuclear fusion-powered automatons to wield cutting-edge arms that threaten the laws of physics themselves. Superweapons hailing from 3 of the 14 major weapons guilds of the Arapaho league. The nexus, an aircraft and support structure capable of hovering over half a mile in the air, a crawler, and the aforementioned giant death robots.

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23: Move it Move it

The island of Madagascar, often dubbed “the fortress island” by Timorese would-be attackers, has seen a rare rebellion. A civilian living in the provisional capital Islandwana commandeered an antique hover tank in protest of tax increases and is currently holding a hospital in the southern suburbs hostage. More at 11.

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24: The Saharan Campaign Pt1

A loud metallic footstep startles the old woman on her porch awake. The Malian army has once again arrived in Palermo, and this time, they are here to stay.

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25: Agent of Babylon Pt1

The Afghan Imperial forces are seeing some success in the offensive into Timor-controlled southern China. Meanwhile, a Babylonian undercover observer stationed in the city of Konkyan sits at a cafe, quietly sipping on a cup of Kokang-style coffee. They ponder the almost sickeningly sweet taste of it, and for a moment reminisce about the old Nigerian cafe they used to frequent. “More than a world away,” She thinks to herself, sighing and opening their laptop. Back to work :/

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26: Siberian Suffering

Due to the massive and difficult geography of Central Asia and Siberia, infantry combat is very rare here. This may also be attributed to the state of overextension in both the Afghan and Turkish militaries. This does not stop both sides from lobbing nuclear ICBMS over the border, to disrupt supply lines and spread fear and terror.

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27: The Battle of Herat

Herat, an old Afghan exclave in Oman, is likely to be captured by Turkish armed forces by the end of the year. Though it has put up a respectable defense throughout total war, the Battle of Herat seems to have closed the curtains on Afghanistan’s Arabian exclave. Turkish biotroopers have established a perimeter within the first two barriers of the city, and an assault on the third seems to be coming soon.

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28: Furthermore, Kilwa must be Destroyed Pt1

A fierce pitched battle rages outside Kilwa Kisiwani, as the few remaining citizens cower in what sections of the bunkers are still livable. This city, many decades ago, was the target of a global coalition, and, despite the odds, managed to maintain its dignity and independence. The native Kilwani are so few in number that they hardly matter anymore. Today, Kilwa Kisiwani is simply a well-located city vital to the strategic interests of both the Grand Republic of Timor and the Yemeni National State. Yemen maintains a higher concentration of troops around the cities, but Timor seems to hold the long-term advantage. In order to widen the front, Timorese high command has elected to launch an offensive towards the embattled city of Mbarara. Additionally, the Timorese navy has begun naval sorties in the Madagascar strait in order to deprive mainland Yemeni holdings of reinforcements.

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29: The Hague, Besieged

The Anglo-Dutch are no strangers to war within their lands, as evidenced by the citadels and fortifications littering the countryside.This, however, is different. The capital of the Hague is having the life crushed out of it. The Brandenburg navy bears down from the North, forming an unbreakable blockade. In the South, Anglo-Dutch power armor infantry, known worldwide for their superior manufacturing and design, battle a numerically superior Turkish force. The Anglo-Dutch are a proud people, but seem to be standing on their last legs.

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30: Secret Mission

A pack of  Arapaho submarines passes dangerously close to Rio de Janeiro, the former capital of Brazil, but now just another city under Inca occupation. Surveying the continent through advanced observational reconnaissance devices, a private aboard one of the subs gasps in shock.“What happened here?” He shakily muttered. His captain, looking over the private’s shoulder, answered in a deliberate, serious tone: “They’re destroying it. All of it. The priesthood believes the Kayapo to be subhumans, and so they are going to reduce every city to rubble. Some people say the Priesthood has already killed nearly half of the Kayapo.”  

“But that’s almost 200 million people” answered the private, with a hint of a scoff in his voice” The captain simply said, “That is why we are going South, to save the ones who are left.”

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31: The Saharan Campaign Pt2

Malian soldiers enter Palermo. The old woman, upon being approached by one of the Malian power armor soldiers, did not seem afraid. The soldier seemed surprised at this, and hesitated before firmly asking the woman to remain indoors or to proceed to a shelter. “Oh, it’s alright. I’m just enjoying the warm weather.”Incredulous at this display of defiance, the soldier paused, before stating“Very well then. I guess the weather is pretty nice.” After a quick scan of his surroundings, the soldier asks the woman “May I sit with you?”

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32: Agent of Babylon Pt2

The Babylonian agent in Konkyan watches her laptop with tired eyes. Symbols moved around on a map, each representing different army units, cities, and geographical features, all in real-time. Technology like this was far beyond the inhabitants of the cylinder, even with their recent advances. Afghan units inch closer and closer to the Timorese-controlled cities of southern China and Burma. “I might have to move soon after all” she mused disappointedly. She had chosen this location because she thought that after the Grand Republic of Timor had conquered the area, it was only a matter of time before they won the game, and the front would only move farther and farther away. What a drag.

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33: The Unification of Japan

Mohave troops move into Koshoy Korgon, an old Gokturk settlement. If the Mori Archipelago remnant government could push all other polities off the island, it would be a huge boon for their security and would free up troops for the mainland front. If nothing else, the Mohave are surely persistent.

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34: Triumph in Sonora

War rages on in Mexico, as the Arapaho handily recapture Huukyampye. Now, at the behest of Hóóxei Hésnee, the leader of the weapons guild responsible for the design of the Arapaho’s feared giant death robots, as well as the local commander of the Mexican front, has ordered their forces to move on the next target, the city of Kwaparvee.

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35: Hubris, or Ignorance?

The Arapaho, despite being among the largest and most powerful states on the cylinder, have a hubris problem. Not viewing the Brandenburg remnant government as a legitimate threat, they have elected to defend the entirety of Greenland with only 2 Nexus, with no other support. Seeing this opportunity, the Brandenburg admiralty has ordered an assault on the island, with a not-insignificant fleet approaching the city of Sukkertoppen.

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36: All for Nothing

The Iranian front is not very dynamic, and few changes have occurred since the last slide. The city of Asir has been the site of much attritional fighting, with it currently being controlled by Turkey.

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37: The Fall Continues

The Hague begins to buckle under the weight of the dual offensive. London, the central city of the Anglo-Dutch Empire, has been reduced to rubble by Turkish air bombardment and is threatened by a second Turkish offensive to its’ South.

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38: Puzzling Pemba

Timorese strategists have scratched their heads for many years as to how to put the cornered animal that is the Yemeni National State out of its misery. despite effectively encircling the island of Madagascar, Timorese naval and air efforts have been constantly stymied by Yemeni light ship fleets. Yemen uses incredibly fast light ships in large number to ambush, encircle, and destroy Timorese fleets before they can abscond or call for reinforcements. the response to this, according to Timorese strategists, is to utilize ambush tactics of their own. After using a feint attack elsewhere to draw out Yemeni strategic concentration, the Timorese navy launched a powerful assault on the shipyard city of Pemba. Timor will likely win this battle, but only time will tell whether they will win the war.

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39: Agent of Babylon Pt3

The Babylonian agent lays in bed and listens to the distant footsteps of a Timorese crawler. As she falls asleep, she thinks about the military situation in Southern China (a very normal thing to think about of course). Timor seems to be slipping, but she can’t wrap her head around why. Is the Afghan Imperial Army really that powerful? Why is Timor experiencing such bad supply issues? And most importantly, was she going to lose her bet over who will win it all? She rolled over and tried to focus on the Crawler's footsteps. Around 40 seconds between each one, she counted.

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40: The Saharan Campaign Pt3

As the soldier and the old woman sit on her porch together, she drawls in a thick Norman accent: “Do you ever get tired of war?” He sits and thinks before answering. “I think I’m already sick of it, and the tea, peace, and company aren’t helping.” She let out a quiet chuckle and replied “You’re too good a man for war, you shouldn’t waste the only life you have on it. Even if you win the war, you lose your soul.” At this, he grimaced.

The Malian campaign continues, seeing great success with relatively minimal bloodshed

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41: The Final, Fiery Fall

Turkish Biotroopers enter the Hague barriers, and begin to sack the city. Plunder is a massive part of the Turkish economy, and it must flow to the capital if the Turkish war machine is to keep humming. They find little here, however, as the city already was ablaze. The Anglo-Dutch are a proud people, and readily destroy their own homes rather than surrender them to the enemy. This evidently includes their capital and largest city. Crimson smoke billows into the air as Turkish biotroopers attempt to douse the flames to find anything of value inside the burning homes.

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42: The Chinese Letter Pt1

”Again????” The agent says to herself, reading the morning news on her phone. Gusmao, in his unending eccentricity, has established a puppet protectorate in Longbian that he claims to be a legitimate successor to the since-defeated Han kingdom. “Whatever,” she thinks to herself as she opens up her laptop and checks her email. She nearly did a double-take when she saw a message addressed to her using her real name. “Helloi, Semiramis”

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43: Herat Falls, Iran Burns

The exclave city of Herat has succumbed to the Turkish invasion. Further North, the Khorasan front is as bloody as ever. The Turks have even brought in an experimental power armor infantry unit, based on the powerful and versatile Anglo-Dutch model. Only time will tell whether or not it will be anywhere near as good.

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44: Baikal Blues

Another experimental Turkish power armor unit is sent as a relief force to the besieged city of Hovu-Aksy. The Turkish Sheikh Ataturk hopes that these new weapons will be able to turn the tide in a war that has increasingly slowed in its momentum.

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45: Afghan Andamans

Rangpur and Darbhan are now firmly under Afghan control. The Timorese Republican Armed Forces have seen logistics difficulties in recent years, most importantly in declining recruitment rates. If one didn’t know better, one might even think the famously bloodthirsty Timorese public is beginning to tire of war, now that they aren’t winning dramatic victories. Either way, the Andamans have joined an ever-expanding list of territories under the crown of Emperor Ahmad Shah Durrani.

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46: Furthermore, Kilwa must be Destroyed Pt2

Yemen, despite its desperate situation, has won the 13th Battle of Kilwa Kisiwani and has now launched a counterattack into Timorese Africa. “I don’t believe it.” grumbled the on-duty captain of the Timorese crawler stationed at Umgungundlovu. “No matter how many times we push them down, they always get back up. It’s like they’re zombies.”

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47: The Chinese Letter Pt2

”Shit” hissed Semisramis as she pored over the message in her inbox for what must have been an 8th time.

Hello Semiramis,

That’s right, We know your real name. We know a lot of things, just like you. We are sorry to see that your position in Konkyan seems untenable. You’re going to have to say goodbye to your favorite cafe there, along with that waiter you think is cute. What a shame!

Semiramis breathed heavily. “How do they know about that?” she whispered. She thought she was more coy than that with the waiter. She continued reading

If you would like to know more about us and how we know these things, we will gladly tell you. When you leave the city for reassignment, go to Dili first. We will find you there.

Best wishes,

RIS

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48: The Nexus Pt 1

Taraz, the last remaining Gokturk stronghold on the continent, is doomed. Arapaho war machines, beyond the comprehension of the simple citizens of the city, loom in the sky. “My head really hurts mommy” whined a toddler, while cowering in her home with her mother. “I’m sorry sweetheart” Her mother replied in a scared tone. Her head hurt too, and it was only getting worse.“It’s the fault of that machine up there,” and she pointed to the nexus, hovering ominously and silently. Psychological warfare is very effective, and the 12th Weapons Guild of the Arapaho League knows this. The device contained in the nexus looming over Taraz is a Noospheric disruptor, a cutting-edge psychic weapon that emits a field that erodes the willpower and energy of people within a 10-mile radius. It can win a siege without a single life lost. Long-term exposure to Noospheric disrupters can cause headaches, nausea, vomiting, paranoia, depression, tiredness, psychosis, suicidal thoughts, and in extreme cases may induce a state of torpor.

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49: Tension and Torpor in Taraz

However, in the case of Taraz, the noospheric disruptor does its job in a matter of hours. Taraz is captured, and the headaches stop. The terrible, floating monument drifts over the city, towards the horizon, and eventually disappears. Only one Gokturk city remains.

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50: Baikal Battles

Hovu-Aksy is now the site of a pitched battle between Afghan forces who had captured the city, and Turkish reinforcements who had arrived too late. The experimental power armor infantry is proving to be not as effective as hoped. The shock absorption in the armor is proving to be insufficient compared to its Anglo-Dutch prototype. Back to the drawing board.

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51: The Saharan Campaign Pt4

As Malian forces capture Sale, the soldier feels a mild amount of happiness, but nowhere near the joy he would have felt only a year before. The nice old lady he met in Palermo was right, he was so very tired of war. He looked at the faces of his comrades, and they too seemed tired. He considered broaching the subject with them over dinner, but when the time came, he thought better of it. The war wouldn’t stop, even if they all deserted. And anyways, Desertion is a high offense, they would almost definitely get caught, and if they were caught, they’d be shot. “An easy decision then,” he said to himself. In reality, there was as much war in his mind as there was in the rest of the world.

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52: The Triumph in the North

Below is a transcription of a Mori-Mohave news broadcast :

CITIZENS REJOICE. TODAY, THE PERFIDIOUS AND BARBAROUS ARAPAHO SURRENDERED THE CITY OF KOSHOY-KORGON TO OUR FORCES. ALL OF HONSHU IS NOW UNDER OUR GLORIOUS BANNER. CITIZENS REJOICE. THE EVIL MACHINES OF THE LEAGUE SHALL BE DISMANTLED BY OUR SUPERIOR ENSOULED WARRIORS, WITH ONLY THEIR FLESH AND BLOOD. WITH OUR GROWING RIGHTEOUS STRENGTH, THE HOMELAND WILL BE RECLAIMED, AND THE ARAPAHO MENACE WILL BE ERADICATED OFF THE SURFACE OF THE CYLINDER, ALONG WITH THEIR SOULLESS MACHINES. IN OTHER NEWS, WILL ALL ABLE-BODIED ADULTS WITH NO KNOWN GENETIC DEFECTS PLEASE PROCEED TO BIOCENTER 15 IN YOSHIDA KORIYAMA FOR “VOTING.”

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53: The Chinese Letter, Pt3

Semiramis paces around her room in complete disbelief. How could anybody know her true Babylonian name? Could this mysterious RIS be a Babylonian too? If so, why would they hide themself, and most importantly, what do they want? Her racing thoughts are rudely interrupted by the sound of a bomb outside the city. “Right,” she thought. Konkyan was about to fall, and she needed to get out of there, and fast. She leveraged her prepared blackmail on the governor of the city, and managed to catch a priority shuttle heading South, skipping the line of will-be refugees crowding the station.

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54: Skynet’s Strength

Despite initial Arapaho momentum, the Mexican campaign has descended into a bloody melee. The arrival of robot infantry to the battle has rendered useless many of the noospheric and memetic weapons utilized by the Arapaho. The Incan priesthood, upon capturing the megalopolis of Kremoro from the Kayapo, quickly petitioned Tupac Yupanqui, the Sapa Inca, Praetor, and powerless figurehead, to repurpose the “Skynet” network into something that can be applied to war. This request, shockingly to some but not to citizens of the Inca republic, was nearly instantly approved, and full custody, oversight, and confidence were granted to the priesthood, along with ample funding. The result is a mechanical army, capable of being mass-produced and remotely controlled, all entirely under the control of the priesthood.

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55: Placid Pacific

Melanesia. Since the end of the last Coral War, in which Timorese and Incan navies clashed at an epic scale never before seen, the region has become peaceful, if irradiated and filled with bioweapons. At the start of Total War, both the Incan and Timorese republics agreed to fight elsewhere, lest the area become permanently uninhabitable for both. While small-scale conflict still persists, the region is largely demilitarized and thus sees little action.This treaty is interesting for a number of reasons, but the most interesting among them is that it is in fact possible for the nations of the cylinder to resist the call of total war, if even through a loophole. Nebuchadnezzar will not be pleased.

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56: Endless, Endless War

Mali and Timor are two civilizations that were unlikely to have ever met, let alone do war. As Malian power armor infantry is continuously battered by Timorese combined arms, officials on both sides wonder: “How can we truly win against such a powerful enemy? Will there ever be peace?”

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57: Insular Unrest

While the Brandenburg naval assault on Greenland continues, the domestic situation in the northern islands falls to pieces. The troops that were sent to quell civilian uprisings there refused to fire on them, and instead joined the civilians in outright rebellion. The Brandenburg National Reclamation Front’s high council chambers are thrown into absolute chaos. Blame, accusations, and panic are hurled around the room. In the end, another round of shore bombardment is decided upon as the best course of action. The cracks, however, have already shown.

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58: Aozou Assault

The desert sun beats down on the walls of Aozou, just as Malian troops arrive. Turkey, like so many other nations, has a growing recruitment problem. The city, like so many others in Turkey’s African holdings, is horrendously under-garrisoned, and will most likely fall quickly to the vastly numerically superior Malians.

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59: Furthermore, Kilwa Must be Destroyed Pt3

Timorese chimeras enter Kilwa Kisiwani, which is starting to look more like a heap of rubble and corpses than a city. The chimeras, mindless, multi-limbed, inhuman designer organisms pioneered by Timorese science, hungrily search for anything organic to sustain themselves. Like chimpanzees digging into anthills, the chimeras pick corpses out of the collapsed buildings with their elongated appendages, before quickly and efficiently shoving them into their mouths, where they slide slowly down their greased esophagi. This victory, though brutal and inhuman, will not last long, as a large Yemeni counterattack seems poised to retake the city.

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60: The Plot Pt1

Semiramis looks at her phone. Today she had arrived in Dili, the capital of the Grand Republic of Timor, and she was anxious to see how this “RIS” would contact her. Instinctively, she checks the front. Through some kind of miracle, Konkyan had fended off the attack. Guilt tugs at her, not because she had skipped the line, nor because she had spent the governor’s money on lunch, but because she had abandoned her post. Insubordination wasn’t uncommon among Babylonian agents, but she would certainly get an earful from Nebuchadnezzar about it. She feels guilty, rather, because she is about to go behind the sub’s back, and communicate with the RIS from her email, without first informing her superiors. “It’ll be just fine.” she told herself. “If all else fails, I have my emergency spacial shifter, which can get me out of any situation if need be.”

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61: The Battle Of London

Riding off the victory at the Hague, Turkish troops had continued to London. Here, however, there is much more stiff resistance. London lies in a vastly more defensible location than the Hague, and since this is not a surprise attack, all Anglo-Dutch forces available are mustered in its defense. Though outnumbered, the Anglo-Dutch plan on taking as many of the Sheikh’s minions as they can to hell, along with their city.

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62: The Saharan Campaign Pt5

The Malian soldier pants as he emerges from the landing craft. His charge forwards towards the first barriers of Titograd is stopped with a wicked kinetic slug that strikes him right in the chest. groaning, he stands up again.He participated in the first capture of Titograd, all the way back in the first total war, but this time was different. He was so, so very tired. Even in his power armor, his chest felt heavy. He just wanted to sit on the porch with that nice old lady again.

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63: The Approaches to Nevkat

The Siberian front intensifies. Massive numbers of Afghan biotroopers, supported by packs of chimeras, fight inch by inch towards the city of Nevkat and Chaa-Kol. Here, like so many other places on the cylinder, the Afghans enjoy significant momentum. whether this momentum can allow them to defeat their rivals in full, however, is unknown.

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64: Mohave Momentum

The Mori-Mohave, through their recent victory against the Arapaho, ride on high morale, but low resources. Guns, bullets, and armor are increasingly hard to come by, making their reliance on biological weaponry even greater. Their expertise in manufacturing biotroopers is world-renowned, but even the best biotroopers stand little chance against a nexus.

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65: Attack on Aozou

Aozou seems primed to fall. Unless the Great Turkish Islamic Federation can mount a counteroffensive, all of Africa seems to be Mali’s for the taking.

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66: The Saharan Campaign Pt6

Having captured and secured Titograd, the Malian soldier is transferred to an assault on Bari. The chest wound he sustained in the last battle still throbs, but it is nothing compared to the weight of his soul. He remembers his home in Niani, and how it was free of such pain and suffering. Is that what they’re fighting for? To protect their homes from the Turks? From the Timorese?

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67: Strategic Depth, Siberian Death

The hugeness of the front that Turkey and Afghanistan fight on means that any loss or victory, any advance or retreat, any weakness, affects not only that area, but every other area of the front. The complexity of this strategic depth is grasped much more effectively by Afghan leadership, who make adjustments and spearheads in order to probe for weaknesses in the front or to find encirclements.The goal of the current offensive, in the lands of what used to be the Massagetae, is to drive a wedge all the way to the Caspian Sea, dividing Turkish forces and isolating their Siberian territories from resupply.

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68: A New Dead Zone

The Anglo-Dutch heartland is now a wasteland. The combination of liberal usage of destructive WMD’s by the attackers and scorched earth tactics by the defenders has led to a countryside that is difficult to distinguish from the surface of the Moon. Utrecht and the Hague have fallen,; thus begins the last stand of the proud Anglo-Dutch.

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69: Prince of War

In charge of the Arys offensive is Ahmad Durrani LXVII, a prince of the  Afghan Empire, a son of the immortal emperor Ahmad Shah Durrani. Unlike his father, Prince Durrani is not an immortal, just like all other progeny of immortals. He taps his fingers on his desk as he surveys the state of the battlefield. “Send the chimeras around the city to wipe out the biotrooper unit stationed there to guard the rear, and then surround the city.” He confidently orders his general.  “I want this over quickly, we cannot afford a siege.”

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70: Chaos in Yakutia

Further North, Afghan Imperial Forces capture Nevkat. There are other powers afoot, however, as Arapaho war machines approach from the East, seeking an easy victory against the winner of the next battle.

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71: Revenge, Hate, and Malice

Anglo-Dutch power armor stomps back into Utrecht. This is perhaps a strategic blunder on their part, as they almost certainly lack the numbers to defend 2 cities. Pride can often be one’s downfall.

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72: The Saharan Campaign Pt7

The battle of Bari continues, but the Malian soldier wakes up not on the front, but in a medical cot. Apparently, he had been hit by another kinetic slug, this time in the head, knocking him unconscious, and leaving him thoroughly concussed. The doctor came in, and before he could say anything, the soldier, not in his senses, slurred out “I’m done, I want to go home.” to the doctor. The doctor only frowned and then closed the door. “Are you serious?” he asked. ”Yes” replied the soldier plainly, slowly coming to the realization that he had fucked up. ”I’m tired of war.” “I can help you.” the doctor began ”but we need to start now, before any other doctor examines you. I can fake your medical records, and say you were exposed to a mindripper, and are unfit for service.”

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73: The Timorese Octopus Tightens its Grip

The Timorese naval campaign against Yemen continues. With the Yemeni fleet (not pictured bc it doesn’t exist in game lmfao) constantly distracted, Timor is able to assault previously unassailable shipyard islands. With time, this may even lead to the capture of one or more islands.

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74: The Plot Pt2

Semiramis jumps, as a dark-skinned, dark-haired man taps her on the shoulder as she gets out of her taxi to her hotel in Dili. “My name is Hernando. I’m with RIS. Please follow me if you are interested in our offer of an exchange of information.”She follows him, a few blocks to a car. Semiramis is completely unafraid of attackers, as she is an immortal, not to mention a genius, so she gets in calmly. She tries to ask Hernando a few questions, but he is reluctant to answer. She simply sits quietly until they arrive at a boat. It is clearly a Timorese vessel, but the crew, like Hernando, did not look Timorese. Maybe Inca? Kayapo? Brazilian? They set sail, and, eventually, having wrestled with her curiosity a bit, she checked the news from the front. Konkyan, her former station, was once again under attack. It was hard to think about that though, when she had so many questions unanswered.

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75: What Must be Done

Brandenburg has failed to make any progress against the Turkish invaders. It appears, much to the dismay of Brandenburg citizens, that they are completely outmatched on the ground. However, their nuclear arsenal has kept itself busy, constantly bombarding the former Lithuanian lands.

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76: Only a Thread

London falls, but Utrecht stands. While it is possible that the Anglo-Dutch could retake London, their forces are wearing thin. It is only a matter of time.

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77: Homecoming

The Malian soldier, at the advice of the treasonous doctor, pretended to have been rendered nearly braindead and was allowed to leave the base. He knew where his first stop would be. He returns to Palermo, and finds the old woman, who he is relieve to find is still safe. Meanwhile, Bari falls to Mali.

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78: Shifting Sands, Shifting Fronts

Having captured Aozou, the Malian armed forces move on to Sarh, another formerly Chadian city. With almost no resistance, the city is surrounded and besieged. However, not all is well for Mali, as N’Djamena, the former capital of Chad, has been occupied by Timorese biotroopers.

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79: The Battle of the Twin Islands

Pemba is once again besieged by Timor, in a theatre of war recently being dubbed as “The Battle of the Twin Islands.” Pemba will probably fall, and if it does, then Jibla is likely to follow.

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80: War Never Changes

Both Sukkertoppen and their own northern islands have been secured by Brandenburg. The brutal suppressions of civilians, along with their inability to expel the Turks from their homeland, have made the Brandenburg National Reclamation Government wildly unpopular within their lands. Groups advocating for peaceful negotiation with Turkey, even if it means giving up sovereignty, have gained popularity to the point where there is a real “Anti-War “ movement in the government. This development is seen as terrifying to many regimes abroad and marks yet another blow against the supposed inexorability of Total War.

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81: A Curious Oversight

Since the collapse of the mainland Kayapo, the mid-Atlantic has seen very little conflict. This is due to a massive “oversight” by both the Malians and Inca, where they forget to garrison their fronts, while sending only minor expeditionary forces to skirmish with one another, mostly non-lethally. “Total war as a means to accelerate world domination seems to have several flaws” muses Nebuchadnezzar, sitting comfortably in his submarine at the edge of the world.

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82: The End of the Cylinder, Pt 1

Mizque, Exile government of the Serene Republic of the Kayapo.

Semiramis stepped off the ship.“God, I knew my star navigation was out of practice” she thought to herself as she looked around. “This definitely isn’t Mexico.” The ship had brought her to what little remained of the Kayapo, clinging to the edge of the world, freezing in the dark. In typical Kayapo fashion, however, these three cities are not at all small. Mizque, the largest, where she now stands, boasts a population of over 100 million. “All these people in such close quarters must generate enough heat and moisture for it to feel like home!” she speculated jokingly. Neither Hernando nor the crew, who she now knew to be Kayapo, laughed. They led her to a building, in which she ascended to the top floor and entered a meeting room. “Hello Semiramis.” said two people she instantly recognized as immortals. Raoni, the president of the Kayapo, and Isabella, the queen of Castile, sat across from her.

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83: The End of the Cylinder, Pt 2

Afghanistan, too, possesses Antarctic colonies. Due to the vast distance between them and the Afghan core, however, they mostly trade and interact with other Antarctic cities. Thus, they too had a representative at the meeting in Mizque.

Semiramis’s heart dropped into her stomach. not only are there two immortals here, but there are other people too. An old woman and a soldier from Mali, a team of Mohave scientists, an Arapaho submarine captain, a young Brandenburger man, and an Anglo-Dutch woman with a stern  face.“We are the RIS” began Isabella “It stands for the Raoni Isabella Society, after us, the founders.” Isabella gestures to Raoni, who sits beside her.“Thanks to Castile’s misadventure into the territory of your ‘sub,’ the citizens of the cylinder are now aware of our creators.” Raoni continued “We realized quite quickly what you created us for when you unleashed “Total War” upon us. We are toys, for you to watch kill one another.” Semiramis gulps. “This is very bad” she realized. “The purpose of our society is to reject you, and finally free ourselves of the war that you bring to our cylinder. And you are going to tell us how.“

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84: Chaa-”Cool”

Far from this fateful meeting, the Siberian Front rages on in ever greater destruction.The Afghans have made progress towards Chaa-Khol, but have yet to damage the city. Elsewhere, nukes fly over the front to damage the armies of both sides, blanketing the region in fallout.

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85: The Nexus Pt 2

Sequestered away in a forgotten corner of the world, the last Gokturk city stands on its last legs. An Arapaho nexus, in fact, the very same one that captured Taraz, looks over the city, its nightmarish form only worsened by the device inside: a noospheric disruptor. The citizens stumble and amble around on the snowy streets. Some go in circles, some into walls, and some simply lie on the ground in a pool of their own vomit. The only thing stopping the nexus from getting inside is one final barrier, which none of the civilians have the mental capacity to switch off. The noospheric disruptor continues its silent assault, and will do so until the city loses power. The Arapaho can take a city without a single bullet or soldier.

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86: Rampant Militarization

Turkish Arabia sees a massive buildup of troops, for a seemingly unknown purpose. Perhaps a naval invasion of Mazar-i-Sharif is in the future? The viability of such a plan is dubious.

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87: The Boots March East

The Timor-Mali front cools down, but the Malian invasion of Turkish Africa continues. Sarh seems destined to fall. Afterward, the target of the assault will likely shift to Akhetaten.

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88: Last Stand

The Anglo-Dutch, if only by a thread, continue to hold on. Their total forces add up to only 6 units of power armor infantry. the defenders know that their fight is hopeless, but they are determined to die fighting. This is the only chance they’ll ever get to live, so they have to make it count.

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89: Konkyan Konked Out

The Timorese repel another attack by Afghanistan, but the front is beginning to wear thin on both sides. Will Konkyan finally fall?

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90: The Indomitable Mohave

In a daring assault, the Mori-Mohave capture Chenxian, but it is unlikely to remain in their hands. Afghan military doctrine in this region has been to grind down Mohave resistance through attrition, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Where are all the troops coming from for all these suicide attacks?

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91: Marianas March

While the de-jure capital of the Mohave is at Avi Hamoka, situated on the northernmost island of the Marianas, the de facto seat of power for the Mohave remnants is most certainly the Mori archipelago. Unlike the warlike and revanchist Mori-Mohave, the Mariana-Mohave are content to simply defend their islands. This, however, is not enough to save them, as their islands have recently come under attack by a small Timorese fleet. While it seems unlikely that they will capture a city now, it does not bode well for the continued existence of this Mohave successor state.

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92: The End of the Cylinder, Pt 3

Konkyan falls, but the Babylonian agent supposed to be stationed there had left a long time ago.

Semiramis fidgets under her desk as she listens to the other immortals. Isabella was never supposed to get out, and she was definitely not supposed to have founded a new Burgos right next to the submarine. They had offered her true immortality, alongside the rest of them, but she had refused. They had to emergency relocate the sub. Now Semiramis was in deep shit. “So you’re an anti-war movement?” she asks “Yes,” curtly replied Isabella, as she continued. “We are aware our reality is artificial, and we are also aware that it is nothing more than a blood sport for your enjoyment. We are content to live as we are, in our own fake little cylinder, but we do not need to suffer. We kindly ask that you, Semiramis, act as our ambassador to the sub, and allow us, as a world, to negotiate for peace.”

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93: Arapaho Arrival

On the other end of the cylinder from Mizque, Arapaho forces descend upon the city of Nevkat, capturing it. Afghanistan is in a prime position to retake the city, however, and is likely that all the lives lost in the assault will have been in vain.

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94: Sarh, Sized Down

Sarh falls in Mali’s march across the desert. It seems that Turkish authorities have finally deemed it worth the investment to send troops to defend their African holdings. Whether this relief force will be successful in stemming the bleeding remains to be seen.

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95: The Brave Men of Brandenburg

Brandenburg renews its offensive in Scandinavia, and actually manages to damage both Lyda and Oranienburg. The Brandenburg government has even begun integrating Biotroopers into their forces, which will grant them much-needed numbers and coverage. The Brandenburg national anthem can be heard from outside Oranienburg, heralding to the civilians that their liberators have arrived. Turkish authorities struggle to contain the nationalistic fervor in the city, and many fear that civilian sabotage may lead to the collapse of the defense.  

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96: Victory in the Indian Ocean

A pack of Timorese Chimeras finally capture Pemba, and Jibla will probably be next. Meanwhile, Timor forces appear to have decisively won the battle of Kilwawitb a crawler moving into position to shell Mbarara. The cracks in Yemen’s dogged defense are beginning to show.A pack of Timorese Chimeras finally capture Pemba, and Jibla will probably be next. Meanwhile, Timor forces appear to have decisively won the battle of Kilwawitb a crawler moving into position to shell Mbarara. The cracks in Yemen’s dogged defense are beginning to show.Disaster strikes in Mori-Mohave, as both Koshoy-Korgon and Tashkurgan have flipped to the Arapaho, their eternal nemesis.While the Mohave are likely to reverse these gains, it is a huge blow to the moral of the fragile rump state, which only a few years before touted the capture of Koshoy-Korgon as a massive patriotic victory. Tripoli is the third Mediterranean island city to fall to Mali, but our hero, the Malian soldier, is long gone. Instead, he is listening in at a meeting on the opposite side of the cylinder, in the freezing reaches of Antarctica.

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97: London Calling

London has fallen to a foreign invader, likely for the last time. The end is right around the corner, but the two units of power armor infantry remain determined to die fighting.London has fallen to a foreign invader, likely for the last time.The end is right around the corner, but the two units of power armor infantry remain determined to die fighting.

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98: Disastruous Defeat

Disaster strikes in Mori-Mohave, as both Koshoy-Korgon and Tashkurgan have flipped to the Arapaho, their eternal nemesis. While the Mohave are likely to reverse these gains, it is a huge blow to the morale of the fragile rump state, which only a few years before touted the capture of Koshoy-Korgon as a massive patriotic victory.

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99: A Different Way?

Tripoli is the third Mediterranean island city to fall to Mali, but our hero, the Malian soldier, is long gone. Instead, he is listening in at a meeting on the opposite side of the cylinder, in the freezing reaches of Antarctica.

Semiramis sat there, in shock, at the RIS’s request. “An ambassador? But why me?” She managed to stutter it out, poorly hiding her uncomfortableness at the situation. “It’s simpler than you think. Babylonian agents are hard to track down, and most are too flighty to catch. you simply were a bit sloppy with your cover.” said Raoni. “We‘ve been trying for years now to bring one of you in.”  Semiramis sighed. It’s a little embarrassing to be the only one they had ever caught. “What do you think?” asked Isabella. After mulling it over, Semiramis answered. “I’ll try to help. If you’re aware of the game, then the game might not be worth continuing anyway. I’ll ask my boss.” With that brief reply, Semiramis, realizing that she needed to return to the sub immediately, activated her emergency spatial shifter, and teleported onto the familiar deck of the sub. She promptly doubled over as her vision swam, and her stomach churned with nausea. “I guess there’s a reason it’s emergency use only, “ she thought as she ran for the nearest railing.

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100: Curtain Call

Finally, the last Anglo-Dutch forces succumb to the joint Turkish and Brandenburg offensive, and Utrecht falls into Turkish hands. The Anglo-Dutch have been eliminated. F

And now for the eulogy, which is of course not in-lore. The Anglo-Dutch overperformed by  magnitudes. While they were never a serious contender for victory, they fought their own irrelevance at every turn, and had so many memorable moments, such as the invasion of England and their fateful capture of Berlin,the capital of the civ that was, for a long time, believed to be one war declaration away from wiping the AD off the map. In the end, they put up a heroic defense, and definitely left an impression on me and a lot of other people on the sub.

The CBR has been close to my heart since MK2, and I’m grateful to be able to give back to a community that has given so much to me. Narrating this episode was really fun, and I’m excited to contribute more in the future. Again, this is U/QuantumBotany, and thank you all for reading.