Episode 7: Ash in the Sand and Ships on the Waves

1: Greetings

Zdravo svima i dobrodošli (Hello everyone and welcome) to the Civ Battle Royale X or CBRX Season 3 Episode 7. My name is BV (or anarcho-balkan on Reddit) and I will be your narrator for today. You might know me as the narrator of Season 2 Episode 18, in which case, I apologize for spoiling the results of the Para-Mara War half-way through. Although I can’t guarantee that I won’t stop making spoilers at all, I can promise that any spoilers I may or may not give in the narration won’t be anywhere near the blatantness or importance of that. Other than that, you might also recognize me as the maker of the Ainu and Yugoslavia civballs, or as that weird Montenegrin guy on Discord. This episode is due to be released on the 16th of November 2022, just one day before my 21st birthday, so I think that makes it obvious why, despite my busy schedule, I decided to narrate this episode specifically.

2: Map

Another excellent map by Virrhea, our resident cartographer for the past how many seasons. We can also see their continued insistence that Castile isn’t real, a thing that I’ve chosen to interpret as a meme, because it’s funnier that way.

3: OC of the Week

Our OC of the week this wonderful image by TopHatPaladin, or TopHat for short, showing the situation in Africa as of the end of Episode 6 in humourous civball detail.

Despite it not being featured in this episode of the CBRX, I would still encourage you to check out the 6th edition of American Dreams, a civball comic series by Orangechrisy, or Orange for short.

4: Thank

A big thank you to our Ko-Fi donators who made past seasons, make this season and will surely make future seasons possible with their donations. I’m sadly unable to donate myself, but if you can chip in some of your spare e-monis (I think as little as a dollar) it would be a big help. I heard donators get some cool perks too.

5: Power Rankings

With the minimal amount of surprise physically possible without it being no surprise at all, the Permyans have maintained the top spot in the power rankings. They have 10 cities, a large army, still plenty of space to expand to by both settling and military means. But they also had a sub-par showing in their invasion of Khazaria thus far, and their economy is kinda shit rn. Will the Permyans be able to maintain their lead? We shall see.

6: Mandate of Heaven

On with the show.

On this slide, we see Ming deciding that a war with the Han is a good idea, actually. On one hand, I’m not too sure, given that Han is obviously the bigger and more powerful of the two Chinese imperial dynasties, but on the other hand, the Han army isn’t really well placed for defending the cities that would likely be on Ming’s path or for attacking Ming’s cities. The Han city of Xindu and the faraway Ming colony of Guangzhou both have minimal defenders, while the Ming army seems well positioned to beat the Han defenders of Longbian. The main Han army is somewhat far away from the frontlines, concentrated around the capital of Chang’an and the northern city of Fanyang. If Ming plays their cards right, they might get a city out of this. I guess we’ll wait and see.

7: Erin go Bragh

The Irish capture Rotterdam from the Anglo-Dutch, whom the Irish claim oppressed their ancestors in an alternate timeline. Wanting revenge for that, the Irish decide to burn Rotterdam to the ground, as a message that no Williamite Englishman is gonna step foot on what are now their islands.

08: A setting Sun

Over in the Eastern Mediterranean and the Middle East, we see that Egypt is essentially under siege. Turkish forces are barrelling down on Assur, Norman forces have started dealing damage to Thebes, and a combined Chadian-Yemeni assault is closing in on the capital Akhetaten itself. Akhenaten continues insisting that Aten is the only true deity of the land and that he will soon save Egypt from the invaders, but this increasingly starts looking like him descending into madness (if he hasn’t already) to his advisors. Egypt may not survive, and even if it does, its days as an imperial power are as good as over.

09: Didgeridoo Noises

Over in Australia, we see that the Wiradjuri invasion of Yolngu has failed. Not only have they not penetrated the border but the war has moved into their territory, if only slightly. The Yolngu actually maintain at least local numerical superiority over the Wiradjuri, tho, of course, since we cannot see all of the Wiradjuri empire, we do not know if this translates into an overall numerical superiority or not. More concerningly for the Wiradjuri, a small Yolngu fleet has attacked the undefended colony of Wagga Wagga in Papua. Two of the three attacking ships are near dead, so Yolngu definitely isn’t gonna capture the city, but the fact that Wiradjuri allowed this to transpire in the first place should in on itself be concerning for them and their fans.

Meanwhile, the Anglo-Dutch and Ireland made peace.

10: Religion map

Oh, oof. I probably should’ve made a list of religions on Word like I did last season. Uh… The largest religions right now appear to be Turkey’s Sunni, Arapaho’s Nestorianism, Anglo-Dutch’s Lutheranism and Vladimir’s Eastern Orthodoxy, with the mid-tier made up of Central America’s Catholicism, Timor-Leste’s Arianism, Kilwa’s Bogomilism and Gokturks’ Tengriism. Ireland’s Oriental Orthodoxy, Qocho’s Therevada, Kayapo’s Catharism and Comanche’s Peyotism seem to be struggling.

11: Besieged river valley

The siege of Egypt continues, but it almost looks like Akhenaten’s praying and preaching has borne fruit somewhat.

The Normans seem to have abandoned the siege of Thebes, and a look at the thingy in the upper-left corner of the screen shows they are no longer on the list of civs Egypt is at war with. Indeed, the next slide will show that the Normans and Egypt have made peace.

Furthermore, despite Akhetaten being almost completely surrounded by Yemeni and Chadian troops, the city actually seems to have fully healed. “Maybe Akhenaten isn’t that mad after all” an Egyptian advisor dares to hope. However, it might well be that the Chadians are merely reorganizing for the next assault, as evidenced by the presence of one Gwaggaeto the Great near Sarh. If CBRX Gwaggaeto is anything like OTL Gwaggaeto, this is a good sign for Chad.

IRL, Gwaggaeto was a king of the Korean kingdom of Goguryeo for 22 years in the late 4th and early 5th centuries. He consolidated Goguryeo rule in what is now Manchuria, defeated the rival Korean kingdom of Baekje and captured its capital, which was located where Seoul is today, and defended the allied Korean kingdom of Silla from a combined invasion by Baekje, the Gaya Confederacy and the Japanese, before vassalizing it. He defeated the Xianbei-decended Later Yan dynasty in northeastern China, taking Liaodong from them, defended against yet another Japanese invasion, and then conquered more territories in Manchuria, Primorye and even against the Rouran in Inner Mongolia. He also campaigned against the proto-Mongolic Khitan people, claiming to have destroyed 3 of their tribes in a battle. He even declared himself emperor.

Now you can claim to have learned some actual history from this season, and DocIto can now mark the audio-narration video as educational. You’re welcome.

12: To the orient

Speaking of Korea, North Korea and the Han had just made peace after a largely uneventful war. It seems like a North Korean army has made its way all the way to Jiangling’s city borders, and a Han qiang spearman has sustained considerable damage, but that seems to be the extent of that tussle. Oh well, I didn’t expect much of this war anyway.

To the south, we can see the Ming entering Han territory southeast of Jinyang, and have started dealing some damage to the Han armies. Despite this, the low number of forces each side had in the immediate area tells me this ain’t gonna go anywhere.

13: In the hills

Over here we see the void Castile. I think Isabella really dropped the ball when peacing out with William (who has just peaced out with Robert “the Old Fox” Guiscard). Now, she’s largely boxed in, more by Tétouan than the Anglo-Dutch. She still has a respectable army and reasonably strong cities, but she would be better off using them on neighbours.

14: IMPOSSIBLE!

For those who’ve been looking at the minimap since slide 9 - no, your eyes weren’t deceiving you. For everyone else - no your eyes aren’t deceiving you rn. This is real. Somehow. After who knows how long, the Comanche have finally settled their 2nd city, Penateka. This is a momentous occasion. We must do something to commemorate this.

This whole thing aside tho, it seems like the Mohave invasion of Comanche isn’t going so well. The border is filled with mountains, forcing the Mohave to funnel through multiple chokepoints, favouring the Comanche defenders. Even in places where the Mohave crossed these chokepoints, the number and type of unit simply isn’t adequate to turn the tide in their favour. Two scouts, one of whom is in yellow health, aren’t enough to outflank a wall of spearmen and archers, Irataba.

15: Fire, smoke and ash

Turkey captured Assur from Egypt, and promptly puts the city to the torch. We also see Memphis, the Normans’ sole conquest of the war they had just left, recovering.

16: Plains, forests, tundra and snow

Over in western Siberia, we see the Permyans and Tuva, settling towards each other. Notably, Tuva is heading beyond the tundra into the Arctic wastes, settling Kyzyl-Mazhalyk last episode and Bay-Khaak this episode there, while the Permyan city of Izyur is settled between the Vasyugan and Irtysh rivers.

17: Upper Plate War

Over on this slide, the main focus seems to be on the Upper Plate War between the Inca and Brazil. This seems to mostly amount to skirmishes on the upper Parana, near the borders of São Salvador. We can also see Rio dela Plata just kinda… being there in the south. The Inca, Brazil and the Kayapó all have settlers heading out, with the Brazilian one seemingly poised to settle a city first.

18: War of Two Dynasties

Over in China, we see that the Ming have advanced forward and are starting to deal damage to Longbian. However, it seems like Yongle is committing the classic AI mistake of splitting his army’s attention between multiple frontlines, as part of the army seems to be heading to Jinyang, where they’re making much less headway. If I was Ming, I would put a mere holding force near Jinyang to stop any Han reinforcements or counterattacks and focus my full attention on capturing Longbian. But, AI’s gonna AI, so Ming probably won’t heed my suggestion. Neither would Han heed my suggestion of moving their core troops to the frontlines, because, again, AI logic, I guess.

19: On the waves

The Maori have made their first tentative steps outside Aoteroa by settling Pirongia in New Caledonia. Their garrison of a composite archer and a nearby scout are immediately greeted by strange travelers from afar, for a damaged Bengali trireme has docked off New Caledonia’s main island.

To the side, we see that the Wiradjuri don’t have much of an army near Moothi and Wahluu, which, combined with what we’ve seen earlier, lends credence to my hypothesis that the Yolngu, at worst, have numerical parity with them.

20: A big, sandy, gap

Mali has decided to declare war on the Normans. I don’t think the distance really allows this war to go much of anywhere. Mali only has 2 scouts near Capua, which, despite the city’s only defence being a trireme, I doubt is enough to capture the city. If Mali could send reinforcements from Fez or across the Sahara, we might see Capua be under bigger pressure, but that doesn’t seem to be happening rn.

Otherwise, and only personally important to me, I’m noticing a certain city on Sardinia. However, I think I’m gonna save my needless hyperfocus on it for a later slide, where it’s closer to the middle of the screen.

21: “Go in, and you’ll never get out”

Qocho has enhanced Theravada, which gives us an excuse to look at the Tarim Basin and the Taklamakan desert (the title of this slide is a translation of that desert’s Turkic name, btw). Qocho is still defending against a Tuvan assault, Guangzhou is defending pretty well from what seem to be half-hearted Han advances, and the Mohave, rather than continuing their pilgrimage to the Caspian (as I’ve been told happened in multiple testruns), settled Avi Mota on the Tarim river.

22: Peace Down Under

The Yolngu and Wiradjuri have made peace. The war is best described as a draw. And since Yolgnu, IIRC, have been ranked much lower than Wiradjuri, a draw is just as good as a victory for them.

23: Mess-OH NO-potamia

Turkey has finished razing Assur, leaving two composite bowmen survivors behind, before moving on to besiege Nineveh down south. Yemen is sending some units to support the siege effort. Egypt’s empire is collapsing around them. Turkey has also settled Konya in central Iran, all but cutting-off the Yemeni colony of Asir.

24: Military stats

Here we see the list of largest armies. Bengal and the Gokturks are in the lead, with over 110k each. The rest of the 100k+ group is made up of the Cree, Tuva and the Arapaho. Following them, at 90k+ each, are Lithuania, Chile, Afghanistan and the Inca. Trailing behind them is a pack of 80k+ armies, of which the only visible ones on this slide are the Zulu, Kokang, Han and America.

25: The race for the North

Brandenburg further solidifies its hold on Scandinavia, settling Allenstein, in between the somewhat earlier settles of Kleve and Falkensee. Although by now the major contender for this part of Europe, they aren’t the only ones tho, as Lithuania has been spreading its tendrils into Finland, the most recent settle (albeit one made last episode) being the city of Palanga, on the White Sea coast. Who will get to the roof of Europe first.

26: Juche-Mori War 2, Spearman boogaloo

We now see why Kim Il-Sung gave up on his Chinese ambitions. He wanted to get rid of the thorn in his side that is Tajihi-Sarugake. “For too long have the imperialist Mori existed as a blight on the glorious land of Chŏson! The people shall now emancipate themselves from the Japanese! Long live Juche, long live Chŏson!” he stated during his DOW speech at the Pyongyang politburo. Indeed, 2 North Korean spearmen have already went on the offensive on the northern borders of the Mori city… and have already suffered damage against the local garrison’s archer.

Honestly, the Mori hardly could’ve settled their Korean colony better if they tried. On the coast, on a hill, behind another hill, flanked by two mountains. The natural defenses alone are imposing, and have already beaten back a North Korean invasion once. Although the North Korean army is bigger now, the Mori garrison of Tajihi-Sarugake has also increased. The city’s own anti-siege weaponry is further augmented by a garrisoned acher. A spearman is blocking the only land passage into the city, while another one is placed on a hill to the south of the southern mountain, ready to fight off or flank any North Korean troops coming up from Chongjin, and 3 triremes provide naval support. The city will be a tough nut to crack, and even if it does fall, the small but nevertheless numerically superior Mori navy has more avenues of attack and reinforcement than the North Korean army has, making flipping very possible.

27: Pacific Scuffle

Over on this slide, we see the newly settled Cree city of Loon River, on the wrong side of the Rockies, as well as the continuing Kwak-Modoc war. Modoc has reached all the way to the Kwak border, fighting along the Columbia river valley, but they very probably aren’t gonna be going much further than that.

28: Med Stuff

Over in the Eastern Med, we see that the siege of Akhetaten seems to have been at least partially lifted. An ostensibly alive Botswanan scout has arrived inside the borders of Thebes, and there’s generally little interesting stuff going on here. Keen-eyed observers would’ve seen a Kyivan settler in the north Aegean and a Yugoslav settler in central Greece several slides ago. Well both moved further south since, with the Kyivan one seemingly about to disembark on Crete, while the Yugoslav one has reached the Messenia region of the Peloponnese.

29: Southern India

Here we see the reduced empire of the Pandya. They gave Tiruneveli to Bengal last episode, which now has them firmly boxed in in southern India. Their army still looks decent, but they aren’t gonna break out with that. Especially as the Afghans still haven’t concluded peace yet. Pandya is already being visited by some peoples for afar - Kokangese, Kilwans, Zulus, Han Chinese, even Yolngu. Heck, even though proximity would suggest that black-and-white trireme in the Bay of Bengal to be Aghani, I cannot completely dismiss the possibility that it might be Maori. Afterall, how would an Afghani trireme arrive there undamaged, when the two civs are still at war?

30: “Merda!”

The Brazilian settler, hoping to expand his civ north of Recife, got cockblocked by a Muisca settler, who founded Ubate on what was no doubt the same spot the Brazilian settler wanted. Worse, some of the nearest other settleable locations are already blocked by Kuikuro borders or a Chilean worker. Brazil isn’t doing good, that’s for sure. Their enemy, the Inca, had managed to go through Kuikuro territory and send a settler towards the Caribbean.

31: Paradise Found

Mohave, Mori, Timorese and Central American ships and Cree and Muisca scouts are exploring the Hawaiian and Line islands, probable future colonies of at least some of them. Interestingly, one of the Mori ships is heavily damaged, and 4 of the Mohave ships lightly damaged. I wonder what’s happening.

32: Eastern Europe

Over in eastern Europe, our main focus is Kyivan Rus’ taking up the Nomadic Horde as its form of government. Given the open steppes that make up most of their territory rn, this may not be a bad or weird choice.

We also get a look at their neighbours. Turkey seems largely empty of military units, focused as its army is on Egypt, Vladimir isn’t doing much of anything, Lithuania is sporting a respectable army, and Yugoslavia is sitting around with its army, skirmishing with Brandenburg near Ljubljana and Zagreb.

I have no idea how that Brandenburger horseman survived its way to the outskirts of Ljubljana, but it doesn’t seem like he’s long for this world anyways. For being a war between two of Europe’s three major powers, the Yugoslav-Brandenburg war is remarkably boring.

Off in the corner, we also see the Permyans attacking Balanjar, with minimal success.

33: Attargah starts playing

The Gokturks, maybe convinced by Ming diplomacy, maybe just out of pure opportunism, decided to DOW Han. A large Gokturk army has flooded the Gobi, and is about ready to descend on the recently founded Han city of Linzi and/or the formidable northern Han city of Fanyang. Knowing the AI, it’s gonna be “and” rather than “or”, and it’s not gonna go too well. But, we’ll see.

34: The burning gardens and vineyards of Balanjar

The Permyans have increased their pressure on the major Khazar city of Balanjar, taking it down to half-health. Things aren’t looking good for the people who IRL were Turkic converts to Judaism.

35: Gov’ts

Now we get to the government overview slides. The first batch of two for this episode, to be exact. Most of the states visible on this and the next few slides are still tribes, tho some have developed a dominant faction, and a few more even switched to a different governmental form.

Angola is dominated by its nobles, while populists run the show in Bengal. The Anglo-Norse, to cope with their defeats against Brandenburg last episode, have become a monarchy, dominated by nobles, while the Anglo-Dutch organized themselves, oddly, into a nomadic horde, dominated by its settlements. Afghanistan, meanwhile, is a principality, with the magnates holding sway.

36: Gov’ts 2

Brazil is dominated by its nobles. Isabella has officially made herself queen, and it seems like she favoured the noble faction. Timor-Leste has formed a republic, but this one seems to be oligarchic.

37: Gov’ts 3

The Normans are dominated by their oligarchs, and Rio de la Plata by its nobles. Kilwa has declared itself a monarchy, and the nobility seems to have curried Ali ibn al-Hassan’s favour.

38: Home Sweet Home

Castile has DOWd the Normans. IDK what they’re trying to achieve here, tho, as all roads to Bari and Capua are blocked by Tétouan and the Anglo-Dutch. Headcanon time: Isabella found out that Virrhea replaces Castile with a void on the maps, and was so angered by what was essentially a meme that she decided to go to war in a bid of relevancy, to force Virrhea to put Castile on the map. Iiiiiiiiiiit isn’t gonna work.

More personally relevant to me, we see a much clearer shot of Titograd. IRL, Titograd was the socialist-era name of Podgorica. Podgorica is my hometown. So it comes as no surprise that I love seeing my hometown in this game, even if it's at a completely different location than historically. Yugoslav may it forever stay in the cylinder. Titograd.

Other stuff on this slide? Well, a Malian scout has actually approached Capua, suffering damage in the process. A Yugoslav settler is moving into Tunisia. The Anglo-Dutch are trying and failing to attack Skopje. Border skirmishes between Brandenburg and Yugoslavia continue.

39: Swap ⥢⥤ Swap

This turn, China decided to swap one disappointing war for another. Namely, Ming, after dealing only minimal damage to Longbian, peaced out with Han, who in turn DOW’d Kokang. Ming troops, Maori and Philippine scouts and a mountain block the most direct route for both civs, leaving the area between Longbian and the Tibetan plateau as the most obvious area of combat. However, both sides don't have much in the way of troops in this area. Kokang especially is gonna struggle with pulling in reinforcements due to all the mountains.

40: [insert JDT’s Suharto poem here]

Indonesia has declared war on the Philippines, and immediately a massive Indonesian fleet descends on San Juan del Monte (yes, that’s definitely “of a mountain” /s), which has already fallen to half health. Two warriors are the city’s only defence from the oncoming invasion, and a third one is uselessly swimming in the gulf of Thailand. Any potential Philippine reinforcements are stuck behind a traffic jam of Timorese and Kokangese ships in the southernmost part of the South China sea. Even if they somehow navigate the winding path between them, the first units to arrive will be embarked land units - useless in a naval engagement. And that’s ignoring the very real possibility that future moves by Timor-Leste and Kokang might completely block off the path.

41: Ironing some Jackets

The Comanche seemed to have somewhat turned their fortunes in this war. They’ve broken through the Rockies in the main front, and have pushed the Mohave flanking attempts back over the Rio Grande. The Comanche certainly aren’t taking any cities, but this is still an impressive showing from one of America( the continent)’s bottom-feeders.

42: Khazarian rebound

Khazaria actually seems to be defending somewhat well from the Permyans at the moment. Balanjar has even healed somewhat! They’ve also settled Derbent between the Caspian and Aral seas, and although it stands undefended at the moment, barely any Permyan units are giving it any attention at all. Things aren’t exactly rose-y for Bulan, but he is weathering the storm pretty okay.

43: Stupid peace.

Kintpuash had sued for peace with Willie Seaweed, and in a stupid move, gave away Agawesh. Y’know, a city that wasn’t even under threat. Why? Because this is a civ AI game, and you know how the AI is.

44: Dominance in the Orient

Turkey, with some Yemeni help, has captured Nineveh and decided to burn it to the ground. Turkey is now definitively the dominant power in the Orient.

The 2 composite bowman survivors of Assur’s fall seem to have tried coming to Nineveh's aid, but too little, too late. Now, they’re fleeing south and west, into the deserts of Arabia. If they manage to evade the Turks and Yemenis in Mesopotamia and the Persian gulf, they might survive for some time. However, any way back to Egypt is almost fully blocked by a handful of Turkish units in the southern Levant and Yemen’s Army of the Hedjaz, and unless peace is made with one of these powers, I don’t see these two souls living to see their home again.

Elsewhere, Afghanistan has three settlers out, with one heading into the Khorasan, another entering Fars and the last sailing by Balochistan. If Turkey doesn’t give up on razing Nineveh and if Afghanistan plays their settles well, Durrani may find himself with a shiny Mesopotamian city.

45: Treaty of the Alps

Yugoslavia and the Anglo-Dutch make peace, bringing what can be charitably called a semi-relevant war to a close. Skopje only had a small garrison force, but the Anglo-Dutch just weren’t able to find a way through the Alps.

46: Brandenburg stats

Oh shit, it’s the world factbook tab of the info-addict. I couldn’t think of a way to make these slides more interesting, so, uhh DocIto is gonna have to improv this.

47: Bengal stats

DocIdo: Bengal might not be among the most socially advanced civs, but who cares? If they can't conquer you they'll just buy you out!

48: Han stats

DocIdo: Han...exists, with solid if unremarkable rankings in most areas at the moment.

49: Arapaho stats

DocIdo: The Arapaho are a dour and backwards lot, prone to small family units and minimal population density. Cant say I blame them - after all, who wants to live next to a bunch of ignorant sourpusses?

50: Gokturk stats

DocIdo: The Gokturk army is far and away the showpiece of their society, and they have the deficit spending to prove it.

51: Kayapó stats

DocIdo: Deep in the heart of Amazonia, the swarm slumbers in their golden hive. Pray you do not awaken them. It is said their wise men have peered into the heart of the universe and bear knowledge of things beyond our mortal ken.

52: Rumble in the Jungle (and Mountains, I guess)

Bengal is looking to put it’s large military to good use, and DOWs Kokang. However, this seems to be, um, kinda out of the way. The most readily-available cities for conquest, Maw Hteik and Chin Shwe Haw both have natural obstacles strengthening them.

Mountains force any Bengali forces advancing on Maw Hteik into chokepoints, which are hilly and covered in forests. Strong defensive geography. Kokang doesn’t have much units at Maw Hteik, but it might not even need many to maintain the defence. Nevertheless, Bengal already has a spearman right next to the city walls, and if they play their cards right, they could maintain a steady stream of reinforcements through multiple mountain passes to attack the city from three different directions.

On the other side, the terrain around Chin Shwe Haw is much more flat. However, the presence of rivers, marshes, forest and jungle is still sure to slow down any attack. Furthermore, Chin Shwe Haw is better positioned to receive reinforcements than Bengal’s Patna is, in the reverse of the situation between Maw Hteik and Kolkata. I’m expecting an inconclusive meatgrinder.

53: Gobi-lin mode

In a totally expected course of events, the Gokturks have split their attention between Linzi and Fanyang, dealing no damage to either. Heck, the Han even got to settle a new city, Guzang, and now the Gokturks split their attention even further by attacking it too. However, that may be the city they have best chances against, having dealt it some damage already and seized much of the defensible terrain around the city, which is also on the wrong side of the Hai river. Guzang’s only defense is a chariot, so if the Gokturks keep at it, they may well capture the city.

54: Siege Tightening

As Akhenaten seems to be descending further into madness, his advisors have taken control of the Egyptian gov’t. They rally whatever troops (mostly composite bowmen) they can to defend what’s left of their nation, and put them under the command of Kittur Chennamma. The situation is getting increasingly desparate. Yemeni archers and Chadian composite bowmen and charioteers have reduced Akhetaten to deep red. All it would take for the capital to fall would be one melee unit.

Fortunately for the Egyptians, though, the coalition neglected to put any melee units in capturing range. There is one Chadian spearman two tiles away, but he is uselessly fortified at a bend on the Nile, even facing the wrong direction. Even if he wasn’t fortified and wasn’t blocked by one of his own composite archers, a hill and a river crossing are sure to slow down his advance a few turns. Less through the effectiveness of Kittur Chennamma and more through the incompetence of the coalition, Akhetaten still survives, and seems like it will for the foreseeable future.

Another impromptu history lesson:

IRL Kittur Chennama was a queen-consort, then queen-mother, and then regent of the princely state of Kittur in modern-day Karnataka, the largely Kannada-speaking state in southern India. During the 1820s, she led two revolts against the British, and actually seems to have been partially successful in the first one, kicking the British out after multiple victories in late October 1824, tho she was ultimately defeated in her second revolt in the following years, dying as a prisoner in 1829, likely of disease, tho folk legends in the area claim she swallowed the diamond on her ring after hearing the news that her lieutenant, who continued the struggle after her capture by the British, was himself captured, ending the revolt.

55: Gulf of Guinea shenanigans

In the largely forgotten anti-Angolan coalition war, we see a sizable fleet of Botswanan triremes, led, oddly enough, by a sole Zulu trireme, moving to assault the Angolan coastal town of Malanje. The city’s only defense seem to be workers and composite bowman reinforcements coming up from Luanda, so, despite the one-tile entrance and relatively high health-bar of the city, the number of ships may just be enough to take the city. Maybe.

Also there seem to be some odd wanderers from far away here. I spot five triremes that have travelled far from home - Castilian, Anglo-Dutch, Irish, Anglo-Norse, even Vermontian. Also far travelled scouts, tho those are a bit more expected - scouts gonna scout, after all - Yemeni, Castilian, Kyivan, Khazar, Pandya, Han.

Also, I guess Lithuania made peace with Turkey. Not that we cared anyway.

56: Going to War

The Pandya queen, Alli Rani, had sent a personal message to her general, Tran Hung Dao: “Pack your stuff and rally your troops. We’re going to war with Yugoslavia”. Hung Dao is perplexed, but does as he is told, gathering troops near Kudiramalai, before receiving another message, this time from the governor of Korkai: “Umm… the Afghans are at the border again in force, and we failed to deal any damage to Balkh. Can you maybe, uhh, bring your new army there to help?”. Hung Dao sighs and sends part of his troops to reinforce Korkai while he prepares to write an appeal to his queen: “Why send an army to fight in a war on the other side of the goddamn landmass? We already have a war at our very border!”. His advice would be heeded, but he’d nevertheless be relieved of his command just a week later.

The historical Tran Hung Dao was a 13th-century prince of the Vietnamese Tran dynasty, and he’s famous for his role in defending Vietnam from three separate Mongol invasions, serving as the de-facto main strategist of his relatives, the emperors, during the second and third, executing a strategy of strategic retreats, scorched earth, land and riverine ambushes, and guerrilla warfare that ended up starving the Yuan into retreat during the second invasion and culminating in the decisive Yuan naval defeat at the 1288 battle of the Bach Dang river in the third invasion, the Yuan losing 400 large ships together with their crews, including their admirals, Omar and Fan Yi, which forced the Yuan general, Khublai Khan’s son Toghon, to retreat back to China, suffering many casualties to traps and patrols along the way.

57: Big Empire, Small Army VS Small Empire, Big Army

Australia is a land of extremes, and in this season of CBRX, at least thus far, it’s a land of extreme contrasts too. Look at the Wiradjuri and Yolngu. One has 6 cities (1 of them outside Australia) and even another settler out, while the other sits at 2 cities, with no settler in sight. However, the former has barely enough of an army to garrison their empire, while the latter is sporting the closest thing the continent has to a carpet. Technologically, they’re in parity. They’re at peace for now, but if Wonggu wants to have a chance at continental supremacy, he might need to think of making more settlers. Or, failing that, strike (read: use the Yolngu army) while the iron is hot (read: while the Wiradjuri lack one).

58: Patagonia

Chile is using his friend José de San Martín’s lack of interest in… pretty much everything… to settle around. They already settled Valdivia in the Patagonian tundra, and have a settler heading out into the Platine Sea. Is this a future city in the Falklands Malvinas that I foresee? Time will tell.

59: Caribbean

Ah, the nice waves of the Caribbean. Home to Muisca, Kayapó, American, Central American, Chilean and Inca alike.

Purely territorially speaking, the largest city in the slide is Baú, but both of the visible Muisca cities have bigger populations. Bacata in particular seems to be the main urban hub of the Caribbean, at 13 pop (a little over 1.3 million).

The Americans and Chileans have settled Detroit and La Serena respectively over the past few episodes, and have now been joined by the Inca at Tiwanaku. It would appear as tho the Muisca and Central Americans are trying for Loxahatchee, with little to no success.

I feel kinda sad for the Seminole. Given their IRL history, I expected more of them, but they didn’t even live up to the lowest of the lowest of my expectations, and are now stuck as a Floridian city-state. For what it’s worth, Cuscowilla is the largest city on this slide, at 16 pop (approaching 2.4 million). Too bad they’re on the Gulf of Mexico, not on the Caribbean Sea, so they do not count to the second and fourth sentences of this slide.

60: Uh-oh.

OK, enough teasing, we have a new war! Namely, the Arapaho declared war on the Comanche. Until now, the Comanche have managed to keep back the Mohave at the mountain passes and even crossed the Rio Grande, but now that is all over. The Arapaho have nothing but plains, a handful of rivers and maybe 2 hills in the way of their conquest. It’s possible that the Comanche settle of Penateka, which cut Tecenoo’s direct connections with the rest of the Arapaho Empire, spurred Pretty Nose into action. It’s also possible that this is a religious crusade - an early form of nationalism has been tied with the Arapaho faith of Nestorianism by the rhetoric of Pretty Nose herself, and this invasion could be seen as a way to do away with Peyotism, a faith no doubt considered at least heretical, and at most half-heathen to devout Nestorians. The fact that a prophet, Thomas Aquinas, is following the army in its march south would suggest the latter the case. Or it could just be that Pretty Nose noticed a relatively easy opportunity for expansion and just took it. It may even be that all three of these reasons - cutting-off of settlements, religious zeal, and opportunistic expansionism - are all working in tandem here. In any case, things aren’t looking good for the Comanche now.

61: North-East South America

Here we see a full picture of the Muisca heartland, as well as the northern reaches of the Inca Empire. Both have prosperous cities with varying garrisons. The most recent settlement here is the Inca Galapagos colony of Choquequirao, flanking the Muisca city of Guatavita, connected to the Inca capital of Cusco via the coastal city of Vilcashuamán and the inland city of Ollantaytambo, which itself is a few tiles away from the Muisca’s Amazonian hub of Iraca.

62: Arabian wastes and Yemeni waters

Here we see Yemen in most of its glory (remember, Asir is way too far north to be visible here). Highlighted to us here is Yemen’s UU, the Bakil Highlander. It’s a swordsman replacement that doesn’t get the usual movement penalty on hills, and also may claim adjacent desert or mountain tiles while fortified. Any tiles acquired this way yield +1 food. Pretty nifty, I might say. And Yemen already has at least 5 of those out.

Meanwhile, up north, the saga of the two Egyptian composite bowmen continues. They found their way between two north Arabian oases. However, the Turks are pursuing them. Worse still, Yemen’s Hedjaz army has been reinforced by two Turkish warriors, and altho this didn’t block off the composite bowmen’s path of retreat, it did make it even more treacherous than it already was.

Also, Turkey and Yugoslavia made peace, in yet another war that everyone forgot about, despite it being between neighbouring civs. I imagine even Ataturk and Tito forgot they were at war until the former found out by finding an old message in his drawer before sending a message “Uh, I totally forgot this war was going on. Peace?”, to which the latter responded “We were at war?” before accepting.

63: Gov’ts 4

Back to the Government Overview slides, and this time we again see a bunch of tribes, only some of which got dominant factions, and even fewer got a different form of gov’t. Brazil is dominated by settlements, Central America by the priesthood, and the Cree by the military. Isabella, trying to find a scapegoat for Castile being marked as a void in Virrhea’s maps, expelled the nobility from her court, and instead gave her favour to the representatives of the commons, while Timor-Leste abandoned its oligarchy and now those willing to listen to the wishes of the people gained power.

64: Gov’ts 5

The Irish are dominated by the horde, apparently. Both the Inca and the Kayapó took up princely forms of government, but while the latter are a regular principality, dominated by magnates, in the former, peasants have gained power and Tupac’s favour, resulting in the proclamation of a Peasant’s Republic.

65: Gov’ts 6

The Kwakwaka’wakw are dominated by elders and the Massagetae by magnates. The Kyivan Rus’ has transitioned into a tribal confederacy, dominated by elders. The Ming have decided to embrace the nomadic life, with the horde faction dominating their politics. The Mohave also became a principality, with the magnates holding sway.

66: A siege and a naval assault

Angola is spreading its tendrils into the Sahara and the chad Chad has the biggest city on the slide, but the main points of this slide aren’t near the center of it, but at the very edges.

On the southern side, the Botswanans, now alone, are circling around Bioko island in their triremes to take turns shooting into Malanje. They and presumably the now dead Zulu trireme that led them here have reduced the city to half-health. Its fate still remains difficult to judge, at least to me, tho the coalition might consider sending in reinforcements, just in case.

In the far northeastern corner of the slide, the Chadian-Yemeni siege effort has reduced Akhetaten into black health. But, again, neither besieger has a melee unit in position to capture the city. The Egyptian capital infuriatingly remains Egyptian. For now.

67: Indo victory, Pinoy shame

Just as expected, the Indonesians manage to capture San Juan del Monte with minimal opposition. The only unit capable of retaking the city rn is a half-dead warrior. Suffice to say, the Philippines aren’t getting the city back. The Timorese and Kokangese have largely moved out, allowing what were supposed to be Philippine reinforcements to try to act as a counteroffensive force, but the Philippine fleet is outnumbered here, and will at best be rebuffed. At worst - sunk. Just like that, Philippine ambitions of a mainland Asian empire are eviscerated. Their only avenue of expansion now is into the tiny Pacific islands.

68: The War of the Plains and Mountains

The Comanche are struggling to hold back the combined Arapaho-Mohave onslaught. Although neither of their cities has been damaged yet, the Arapaho have already marched all the way to the gates of Penateka, while the Mohave have chased the Comanche over the Rio Grande.

However, upon close inspection, we see that the Mohave army is actually rather small. I have no idea if the Mohave even outnumber the Comanche or not. Their cities in Mexico are almost completely undefended. If Central America were to declare war on the Mohave rn, they’ll receive Selye’aya-Ita and Kwaparvete, and maybe even Huukyámpve, on a silver platter. Better get a move on now, Morazán.

69: Nice.

Seeing the Tuvans and Massagetae move into the Arctic circle, the Permyans and Lithuanians decide they also want to move into the desolate but potentially profitable real estate up there.

Also, for those listening to the audio-narration that haven’t read the narration, I’d like to inform you that this is slide 69. Nice.

70: Religions

Here we see a religious overview, mostly of Kayapó Catharism, with only a limited view of Kilwan Bogomilism and Central American Catholicism. Bogomilism earns extra faith and gold, and also requires less faith to buy missionaries and inquisitors. Catharism can use faith to buy cathedrals and monasteries, gets science, culture and faith bonuses from religious spreading, jungle tiles and great persons respectively, while Catholicism gets faith, culture and gold bonuses.

71: The forests are multilingual

As Brandenburg and Yugoslavia continue to skirmish along their border, Canute, or, as I like to call him, Cnut, decided to score some diplomatic points with the guy who evicted him from his capital. The approach to Yugoslavia between Brandenburg and Lithuania is narrow, and covered in forests, so I don’t expect much of this stunt. Also, I’m not sure if this is a case of “appearances can be deceiving” but is the Yugoslav army comparable in size to the Brandenburger one? Of course, we don’t get to see what the state of things is in Brandenburger Scandinavia nor in Yugoslav Macedonia and Yugoslav Sardinia, but still.

72: Death

The Permyans have finally captured Balanjar, and have elected to burn it to the ground. Not all hope is lost though - the city is at less-than-half-health, so one of the two Khazar warriors next to it, supported by that archer, can still save it. I wouldn’t hold my breath for it tho. And still, even if they do, it’s still a heavy blow to Khazaria. Worse still, a Permyan army is descending on Derbent. The only melee unit in range, a horsemen, is near death, so it won’t fall yet, but that warrior or that spearman may soon be able to replace him if Azykay is smart. Derbent can only hope that doesn’t happen, as the city seems to have been abandoned to its fate by Khazaria. Not even the nearby Tamantarkhan is sending reinforcements. But then again, can they really afford it? Their garrison is kinda weak as is.

73: Ainu Mosir

The Ainu are in focus on this slide, doing Ainu things. They have a stretch of three cities, which aren’t too shabby. Their army is mostly ranged tho, and roughly half the army is concentrated around Sat Poro Pet. They also lack any settlers, which is bad, as they’re increasingly getting surrounded.

Sure, North Korea and Mori are too busy with each-other to care, and of them, only the former has a settler out, encroaching on Ainu Mosir, but they’re kindof Ainu’s league, if not worse. The bigger threats are those more distant ones that are approaching.

Over the last few episodes, the Gokturks have settled in a general northeasterly direction (see: Romitan and Almalik) and their new settler is threatening to cut off Ainu expansion opportunities to the north. More concerningly, the Kwaks have spread almost a dozen Hamatsa Dancers (their Scout UUs) over the Bering sea and deep into Siberia, and their relatively recent settle of Kalugwis in Alaska may be a portent of settles to come.

Off in the sidebar, the Zulus DOW’d Yugoslavia for… reasons… and Vermont peaced out with America…

74: Even stupider peace

…And gave away Montpelier in the process, which America promptly razes. Y’know what, you deserve to be eliminated for this, Vermont. I’m kindof regretting my earlier decision of giving up on applying to the power ranker team, because now I want to rank you 60th out of pure spite. However, Vermont, altho a city state and fucked geographically, still has a decently-sized army, so they will probably survive for a while, even after America or Greenland DOW them.

75: Steppelands

Over here, we see the new Afghan settle of Lashkargah, right under the noses of the Massagetae army. Completely undefended. Not a good spot to settle given the current circumstances, but if Massagetae chooses to ignore this for now, and Afghanistan either sends or builds a decent garrison, this could prove to be a nice jumping-off point further into Central Asia or the Iranian plateau.

As for the Massagetae, if they choose not to go after the defenseless Lashkargah, but still want to use their army on something, may I suggest sniping Khazar Derbent from under the Permyans’ noses? Or maybe heading into Khorasan and stealing Yemen’s far-flung colony of Asir?

76: Gulf Waves

Regrettably for Afghanistan, Turkey has given up on destroying Nineveh, preferring to keep it instead and solidify their newfound dominance over the Orient.

Disappointed by this, but still wanting to make the best of the situation, Durrani had his settler in Fars settle in Fars, founding Mazar-i-Sharif, while the settler in the Gulf of Oman crossed the Gulf of Oman and landed in Oman, founding Taloqan. Yemen is probably regretting their lack of settling in Arabia right around now.

Speaking of Arabia, the two Egyptian composite bowmen are nowhere to be found. I assume they were caught by the Turkish army and the supporting Yemeni contingent and slaughtered. Poor souls. RIP.

77: Brazil is fucked.

And here we see the result of the Inca-Brazilian peace deal that you may have noticed on the sidebar last slide. Brazil gave away its second and also largest city, São Salvador, away. Worse still, Kayapó has settled Mekrãgnoti between Rio de Janeiro and Recife. I’m sorry to say this, but Brazil’s stint in the royale is as good as over. Pedro II may have once led this great civilization to victory in Mk2, but Pedro I has via combination of his own decisions and things out of his control lost any chances of even regional prominence. Going forward, Brazil is gonna be a two-city rump, playing last fiddle to the other powers of South America. Mostly to their most immediate neighbours, the populous Kayapó and the continental powerhouse that the Inca have now confirmed themselves to be.

78: Desert Crossing

Huh, it seems like Sundiata actually read my earlier slide? A large army, complete with a general, is being sent over the Sahara, presumably to capture Capua. Another army also seems to be gathered to reinforce the war effort, led by general Arsaces I, who seems to have been personally appointed by Sundiata after a ceremony in Niani.

Historically, Arsaces was the leader of the Parni tribe, a nomadic Iranic tribe from the Dahae confederacy in what is now Turkmenistan. After Andragoras, the Iranian satrap of Parthia, and Diodotus, the Greek satrap of Bactria, successfully revolted against Seleucid rule and formed independent kingdoms, Arsaces led the Parni in a war of conquest against the former, overthrowing Andragoras and declaring himself king of Parthia. He went on to establish a strong state structure, which several generations later, under his great-grandnephew Mithridates I (yes, the one from CBRX S1) grew into an empire.

And that brings us to the end of another episode of the CBRX S3. I hope you enjoyed this. Give some commentary, constructive criticism and other feedback in the comments. Sorry if this felt a bit rushed, I’m having a busy two weeks between the 7th and the 21st of November, what with this narration, studying for at least two exams, going to uni even beside the exams twice, and celebrating both my and two cousins’ birthdays, so I wanted to finish this narration (barring the OC and PR slides) as quickly as possible.

I hope you have a nice day, week, month, etc. This is BV, signing off.

Episode 7: Ash in the Sand and Ships on the Waves – S3

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