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Hello everyone and welcome to episode 14 of the CBRX, season four. I am u/HypnosEye, longtime lurker of the sub since Mk2, seizing my chance to try and narrate. With this, let’s get to it.
July 02, 2024
HypnosEye
Desillusion and opportunism reign on a troubled cylinder as great powers suddenly come under threat.
Hello everyone and welcome to episode 14 of the CBRX, season four. I am u/HypnosEye, longtime lurker of the sub since Mk2, seizing my chance to try and narrate. With this, let’s get to it.
We collectively despair at Ohio’’s continued existence with u/E_C_H.
And we also get this lovely new OC for Rio Grande from u/Sonicfan0511. Although lovely is not the words I would use for Rio Grande currently.
Thanks to everyone who support the CBRX on Ko-Fi! It wouldn’t be the same without you.
We get a look at the PR’s opinions on Burgundy, who suffered the biggest rank loss this week, given their three front war. Will they survive this episode unscathed? You’ll just have to wait and see!
We open on a view of the Cape. Last time, Eswatini was able to retrieve Malkerns, but now Ndongo’s naval invasion attempt has put a serious dent in Nhlagano’s walls. Labotsibeni’s archers might be able to fend of part of the attacking force though, and it will take more than that fleet of bowmen to finish the siege.
Singapore continues on its newly found belligerent “rampage” by taking Walyallup from the Noongar, right under Wahgi’s nose. With this, Noongar’s influence outside Australia is probably done with. Maguindanao is in a bad shape, but if you take a closer look at Lamitan, the Wahgi attack seems to have fizzled out.
As it declares war on Pueblo, we get to see Tehuelche’s core. It’s unimpressive. However if you look on the right side, you’ll see something marginally more exciting : New Holland launches a new assault on the riograndese exiles. It’s a nice fleet for sure - I wonder what happened to the last one they sent one this way.
Taino and Seneca make peace and it feels like we were robbed of a Taino invasion of the East Coast. But it seems like we won’t get any action on this side of the America’s. Near the occupied city of Genundowa, in a ravaged carry, a single Shawnee spearman weeps for its people. It will now have to do its last stand.
On the West Coast, Thule declares war on Pueblo. Both of them are toe to toe in Infoaddict scores, as well as in military power. Their fleets seem pretty equal and the Yellowknive’s blocks the way to any massive attack. In the end, this rivalry will be decided by whoever can gobble up that buffer state faster, but Yellowknives is no pushover either.
Recruit Ishtar sends his messages through elaborate codes but the message is clear: the Selkups are considering an attack on the Kazakhs. Vonya’s ultimate decision will depend on the state of Nursultan’s armies, and the least we can say is that the Kazakh core looks barren. Could these horses on the border with Astana be put to good use soon?
Faroes, the reigning leader, continues building wonder after wonder. This time, it’s the Grand Canal, a new wonder that will give extra gold for every trade route. That might help for the long run, but Trondur really needs to shift away from soft power and start using their strength for something.
Ishtar, having been discovered, begins his new mission at Daji’s court in Zhaoge. If anyone can manoeuver the intrigue and the cruelty of the fox queen and give us an insight into her mind, it might be her.
Ludwig makes big moves as Beaune falls and no burgundian troops seem poised to retake it in the next turns. However I wouldn't expect Bavaria to do much more for now - that army still has to maneuver past the Rhine and Charles could reinforce Dijon from his core. Same for the Italian Alps: the German spearmen could open the path to Nancy but they wouldn’t do much.
Still, progress is progress and every small victory should be celebrated.
Last time we had seen Sierra Leone, they were trying to defend the newly conquered Tangiers from an Alaouite counteroffensive. 8 turns later the situation has completely flipped as Peters’ sizeable army starts its march to retake Kenema.
Kalmyk catastrophe ensues as Kazakhstan takes Elista from Bukhara. It’s not like Ayuka’s situation would have been better if he had actually retaken it, but this is just sad. Astrakhan is now ripe for the taking by both Kazan and the Kazakhs.
The arctic frontline of the Shang-Selkup-Goguryeo war develops as Goguryeo mounts a small assault on Zhengzhou. With this, the Selkup-Goguryeo part of the war should come to an end. Given the state these units are in, Zhengzhou will probably not be taken soon, and I honestly don’t know whether it’s worth fighting for.
Elista development! The city falls to a quick Afsharid attack! It will flip a few times again, but probably never in Kalmyk’s favor.
Vijayanagar declares war on the Qarmatians, probably to join the coalition war Saba and Mogadishu declared last time. You might think that the Qarmatian fleet around Safwan could threaten Belgaum or Gingee, but I think Mogadishu’s presence will render that difficult. Or pointless, given that they could then take the cities for their own.
Pueblo finishes settling Hawaii and the Wahgi expand northward in Micronesia. There’s still some free land here and there, but soon even the Pacific will be crowded.
Up in the russian arctic, the latvian cavalry finally makes landfall in Kazakh land - now they just have to hope something falls.
Ballardong falls dangerously in the red as Palawa forces start breaking the walls. Jules Dumont d’Urville, who in his life explored the coasts of Oceania, has joined with the Tasmanians.
Pelotas takes a handful of damage but Maurits’ force is wounded, divided and depleted.
If I was optimistic, that lone Pikeman on the Falklands could kill the archer peeking under the trireme icon, and with reinforcements coming, New Holland could finish off Rio Grande and get their big prize…uuh penguins? Ice?
The Seneca reform their religion to completion! In other news, that lone Shawnee spearman will not live to see another day.
That new reformation belief is Houses of Worship. This is the third Gaihwiio belief that adds a new worship building, and this one does not seem especially strong.
Lamitan suffers heavy damage as the Wahgi-Zheng invasion restarts at full force. With a little bit of luck, that Zheng Carrack should be able to take it. Simuay could also be in danger really soon.
In the sidebar, Visigoths and Selkups pile on the Qarmatians. They assure the other members of their coalition that they could damage them at a distance, through the power of petty insults.
The Afsharids have gotten Mehgarh’s health to around 20%, but I’m not sure they have enough steam to take it and hold it. However, look at Dholavira: the city is surrounded, there’s a catapult nearby, and Harappan units hover around the Viji frontline…this could go very well for Nader Shah.
Ballardong falls and goes up in flame. Those Noongar horses will not do much against it, but I don’t think the Palawa advance has any steam left. On the other hand, the Noongar could try something about Minj, in the North of Australia: there’s only a handful of archers defending the city.
As a bunch of uninteresting wars get declared, we get an interesting look at Bora-Bora’s home islands, with their new city of Tiva. The population of the three main cities is impressive, and the fleet they have amassed is too, but they don’t exactly have a technological edge. If they don’t attack Wahgi, Tehuelche, or Tiwanaku, they might end up stagnating themselves to irrelevancy.
Eusebius of Nicomedia, a defender of the Arian heresy back in the 4th century, hangs around in Nundawao. With the Seneca religion complete, no work is left for him and he now longs for Prophetstown, a place he calls home.A Faroe army waits outside Kayahsutoke, hoping that if they stare long enough at the walls, the city will surrender.
We go back to the Burgundian situation and, as expected, Ludwig’s force has failed to get past the Rhine. However, that might just be the only good news for Charles, as the English fleet harasses Amiens, and the Visigoths’ offensive continues. Will the dwindling pressure from Bavaria help Burgundy stabilize both of the other fronts?
The only probable development in the Thule-Pueblo war: the far-off city of P’iwweltha is starting to take damage from Thule’s arctic fleet. With no way to reinforce it, it seems doomed to fall.
We move to the main battlefields of the Shang-Goguryeo war and, sadly, not much has changed. Yodong is damaged, but will live to see another day, and Yanshi is not yet under any danger. I don’t think that kind of stalemate helps Shang in any way: Goguryeo has weaker neighbors to prey on and easier terrain to fight them. In the end, it’s hard not to see them taking the upper hand.
Tiwanaku is still doing well, but just as EmeraldRange noticed last episode, their army isn’t really impressive. However we can see that most of their workforce is now situated in the north, next to Ecuador. Is the proletarian liberation army hoping to do something?
This might be Mogadishu’s single greatest moment. Zahran, a city that has existed for 40 turns without ever taking a single pop, has turned to red. Everything is now possible.
Rome and Kanem-Bornu are now dangerously close from both Cairo and Damanhur. Their chances are not that good: the Mamluks still have a handful of archers to thin down the attackers, though not much more. And for some Elista development: at the top of the screen, you can see Elista flipping between Kazakhstan and the Afsharids.
Out of nowhere, an alaouite counter-offensive retakes Tangiers. However, as Kenema starts taking damage, the outcome of the war is clearer and clearer, and the Alaouites would need another surprise to fend it off.
After an unseen flip, Ballardong falls again to the Palawa. Neither side has enough strength left on this front to stop this, although a single horseman and a couple of noongar missionaries will try their best.
Compared to the Tiwanaku core seen a few slides ago, Pueblo’s is actually impressive, full of their unique bowmen, the Lada:kwe. What’s more, under the hem of Muhammed Yunus, the bengali Great Merchant, Pueblo is considering making the move to microcredit. Come to think of it, their treasury’s not particularly full.
Their neighbor, the Osage, rests after finishing off that last Shawnee resistance. Their army looks a bit thin to the west, on the border with Pueblo, but they are starting to build a lot of their UU, the O-don guard, a unique Pikeman that begins with experience equal to unused strategics, and gains extra terrain outside friendly territory when upgrading. It’s hard to know right now how much that first bonus might affect them, but the second one will only be useful if Osage finds a new target to attack. And except for Florida, they are running out of weak neighbors.
As predicted, Lamitan falls to Zheng, who put it to the flame, and Simuay starts taking damage. With two of Maguindanao’s archers surrounding it, I don’t see how their melee units will be able to liberate the city but if they did, Waghi would be the first to benefit.
From Ishtar, we learn that Daji, the Fox dictator, is planning to attack Vijiyanagara. A decision that would only make sense in a twisted mind, surely. As for Vijiyanagara, they are looking as boxed in as ever, and that attempt to invade Arabia is not going well.
On this slide we get a look at the different governments of the world: first of the dictatorships, with Nestor Makhno trying to justify that his newly formed military dictatorship is just one stage of anarchist liberation.
To note: Pawhuska is not a Dictator, but a Polemarch.
The monarchies are more varied, with Taino, ever the quirky one, being an elective monarchy. The commons have power in both Sierra Leone and the Alaouites, wheres Ismail bin Sharif is not just a King, but a God-King.
More monarchies, with the Nobility being the dominant estate in a majority of them. Abu Bakr of Mogadishu has joined Taino on the elective monarchies side. He is called the Diplomat, maybe because of the joint war he’s leading against Qarm, or maybe because he’s not been doing much that’s worthy of a better title.
We move on to hordes: not much to say there, except that two of the three major south american powers are hordes.
Principalities and Republics follow, where we learn Tecumseh is now in exile, and Krishnadevaraya has declared himself Leader of the People. Where would he even lead them?
Apparently, Rijkuo-Maja of the Ume Sami is a Demarch, and I honestly have not found what that is.
Next are Theocracies, with Maguindanao, Pueblo, Ikko-Ikki and Palawa.
Finally, only four tribes remain: Rio Grande, Khoshuts, Rozvi and, interestingly, Eswatini, which are clearly suffering from their horrible tech score.
Now is the time for world religions. The main change from last time is that now, Ikko-Ikki’s religion has spread all over Goguryeo and Nivkh, and Kalmyk’s faith expanded a bit to the east. Sadly, Shawnee’s religion is gone, replaced by Pueblo’s.
More maps? More maps. We now take a good look at the entire world, which is starting to fill up.
In terms of diplomacy, the whole world is at war, safe for Mongolia, Kazan, Bora-Bora, Taino and the elusive Crow.
Most countries are happy and a few, notably Faroes, Latvia, Bavaria and Yellowknives, are in a golden age. Florida too, but that might be one of MacGregor’s scams. Zheng, we learn, is very unhappy.
The growth map tells us something radically new: struggling countries mired in war (Burgundy, Alaouites and the Mamluks) have declining populations. Fascinating. On another note, Tiwanaku’s growth is stagnant. I don’t know how much that will affect them in the long run, but that is something to keep in mind. Also, Taino is booming.
We go back to regular gameplay as Ishtar is sent to the Osage capital of Ni-o-sho-de. Osage is at an interesting point and it’ll be nice to get more info about their future plans.
Bill Gates joins the Mamluks as a great merchant, and hopes to help them fend off the invasion. Unless he can build a computer out of sand and wheat, I’m not sure there’s actually anything he can do.
Frederick William Beechey joins the Dutch attack on Pelotas. In accordance with his name, he complains that the fleet is just slugging along the coast, seemingly setting their sights towards Bagé.
We learn Elizabeth has declared war on Kirmukarmu. This is only interesting if it’s going to be part of a more relevant joint war. Otherwise, it’s just an excuse for us to look at Royal Hungary’s core. Like all the civs in Europe, it suffers from its lack of cities, and their stats show it.Now that the Pontus and Latvia wars have ended, it’s hard to see what they could do next.
Jeanne d’Arc appears in Sierra Leone, confused as to what invader she has to fight against, when her country is currently doing the invading. Which is going very well, incidentally. Kenema seems ready to fall in the coming turn and even Rabat could be threatened if Peters keeps the momentum.
Hiroshi Yamauchi, who led Nintendo’s turn to video games, arrives in Wahgi. He presents an interactive game with two patriotic heroes, Wahrio and Wahluigi, to boost the morale of the city of Minj while they wait for a Noongar assault.
On Noongar’s side, a militarily more relevant historical figure appears, in the person of Gaius Dullius, a roman general who developed boarding tactics during naval battles against the Carthaginians. Noongar can hope he is enough to break the Palawa fleet looking to advance to Pinjarra.
The booming Taino Elective Monarchy appears in all its glory. Frankly, Taino has nothing to be shy about, but their situation is not bright: maybe it’s time to tickle Florida again?
Tiwanaku builds the Great Mosque of Damascus, which gives access to a unique Caliphate Government as well as some more sovereignty. Hopefully it helps them in any way.
Around a million people live in the city of Tiwanaku, which is fine, but underwhelming compared to their immediate rivals. At least life with the Cerro de Potosi in view must be nice.
It happened, the Cape is in Ndongo’s hands now. Not much to expect here other than one or two flips. This is pretty damning for Eswatini, who in my mind are plummeting to the bottom of the cylinder. Their only options now are either to destroy Rozvi or prey on Mogadishu’s weaknesses, but their tech is so weak I don't see that going well for them.
In massive news, Mehrgarh falls to the Afsharid naval invasion. That carrack to the south won’t let that stay for long, but it’s a heavy blow for Harappa. In brighter news for them, no significant push has been made on Dholavira. Is Afsharid fumbling through success?
Emulated by the invention of Nintendo interactive games, Leonardo da Vinci joins Wahgi.
And on the other side of the world, Guru Arjan of Pueblo, OTL a sikh leader, arrives in his hometown of Prophetstown to spread his religion through Osage land. Seneca needs to sweep in if they want to get the blue conquerors on their side.
And on another other side of the world, Philip II of Macedon, father to Alexander, oversees the Mamluk defense of Damanhur. Things go poorly as he tries to get archers into a phalanx, and ultimately resorts to using them for shooting enemies at a distance. “Good enough”, he says.
In a desperate attempt by Eswatini, Nhlagano flips again. Sadly, there’s a trireme and a horseman nearby to recapture it. Maybe if Labotsibeni can get her swordsman near the walls, she would ensure to hold on to it longer, given the lack of melee units on Ndongo’s side.
“Oh well” thinks Philip II of Macedon, as Damanhur falls and he dies in the process. No mamluk units can save the city now, the only thing they can hope for is to defend Cairo and Damietta long enough to not be the second one to go. And that might even be too much for them to do - I expect Saba to make a move at Damietta soon.
And on Sierra Leone’s side, Kenema finally falls. Their hold on western africa is now solid, but they still have to expand a lot if they want to be a big player. However the roads to Rabat, Marrakech and Meknes after that are hard to navigate. Despite their complete removal from the competition, Alaouites still manage to be a roadblock for their neighbor.
The Ballardong saga continues after a few flips, and now the city will be completely removed from the map. A sad day for all its fans. Meanwhile, a tentative attack on Kriwa begins.
New Holland. It cannot possibly be that hard. Why is it taking so long? Why are you so bad at this? By the way, these catapults seem to have been forgotten in the Atlantic ocean in the process.
Remember when I said Yellowknives would nullify the Pueblo-Thule war? This is it in action: a single pueblo trireme has no way of escaping death as Yellowknives ships block the way, silently watching.
John Stuart Mill, a philosopher and economist, joins Zheng and writes his treatises on liberalism. The Zheng king and the nobility in charge watch with a suspicious eye.
Back to Indonesia, Zheng still holds Lamitan and those disparate Mag units can only hope to damage the city in rage, but never to retake it. Simuay still holds in the green, but with new Wahgi forces incoming, I don’t know how long that will last.
Unsurprisingly, Harappa retakes Mehrgarh, although the city will flip again. The pressure around Dholavira also weakens for the moment, but the Ashfarids can still get it back together.
Meanwhile, a huge development is happening in South America as Ecuador seems to think that Tiwanaku is weak enough where they can attack them. And from here, it’s hard to disagree with them on that.
But what can they realistically hope for? Ojjo is a weak city but the mountains surrounding it will make it a slugfest. Lukurmata and Pajchiri are easier to access but stronger and will produce more units. It’s almost like the only thing Ecuador can hope for here is capture some of these juicy unused workers.
However, if either New Holland or Bora-Bora join in, things could get ugly real fast.
We go back to China for the end of the Shang-Goguryeo war and a disastrous peace deal. Shang cedes Xinxiang, having failed to recapture Yanshi or push to Yodong. Not all is lost for them, but this is a major setback for the Fox Queen.
In case you were wondering, Shang keeps their arctic city of Zhengzhou. Was it worth it?
And it has begun, New Holland declares war on Tiwanaku. Frankly, the frontlines do not look as crowded as I would have imagined - i mean, just look at all these dutch troops in the water! Will these two fronts do anything to handicap Tiwanaku? Will Bora-Bora join in on the fight?Meanwhile, Milton S. Hershey, of Hershey fame, scours the Amazon for chocolate.
Mehrgarh flips again, but as I have been saying the real battle is in Dholavira. The city has taken damage and there’s a strong number of units laying siege to it. If it falls, some nice, open, flat terrain will lead the Afsharids straight to Harappa and Mohenjo-daro.
Amongst a trio of random wars being declared, one actually involves two neighbors as the Dzungars march against Kazakhstan. Astana and Petropavl are near. I don’t believe Daldan can lay siege on the former, but he could make a decent attempt for the latter.
In a fit of maniacal laughter, Gushi Khan decides Daji has shown too much weakness and gets ready to invade. On paper, he has more units on the frontline than Shang has. However, mountains exist.
Nivkh declares an irrelevant war on Kazakhstan and we get a good view of their core. They still have some strength, but with Goguryeo being done with the Shang war, you have to wonder whether they will be the next target.
The ballad of Ballardong comes to a sad, bitter end with the final destruction of the city, just as Noongar units might have saved it. In other australian news, Minj is threatened but untouched and Kriwa gets to yellow.
Kazakhstan’s situation worsens as the Selkups declare war (if you remember well, this is what our spy warned us of back in slide 11). Although I don’t see immediate danger for any of their cities, Astana is now potentially attacked from two sides.
In the center of the shot, a mongolian scout wonders how he will escape to a place of peace.
So did everyone decide Shang was now fair game? Zheng declares and starts hammering at the walls of Qingliangang. Daji’s army is still strong and will surely be able to defend the south, and maybe turn the tide, but that two civs with vastly worse stats have chosen to attack her is quite alarming.
Roberto Rosselini, the italian neorealist filmmaker, joins Palawa. He decides he will write a play of the Australian wars, just as the attack on Kriwa peters out.
Suppose you were the Osage: who would you attack, Florida or Seneca? Both wars are not that easy, but you need to wage one, or you will be cast into irrelevancy. Pawhuska apparently considers going after Cornplanter - lets see if he sticks to it.
Ishtar transfers some more Osage intrigue - Pawhuska launches a sneak attack against another civ, which means they consider another civ weak enough to where they’re almost ready to declare war. So who will it be?
Osage espionage is too much to handle for our recruit, so we send her to Pueblo. Hopefully she can decipher whether they will try to punish Osage for that first elimination.
Taking a look back at the Burgundian war, a major development has happened: Ludwig’s armies, now run by the argentinian president Juan Peron, are nearing Dijon. Those catapults are a bit too far to start a proper siege, but the english forces will provide some help. Everything looks bad for Burgundy but hey, the Visigoths still found a way not to do anything. Oh, but what is this on the sidebar?
Bora-Bora joins the anti-Tiwanaku war! The health of these pacific islands falls to half in one turn. And with the size of that fleet, you could even expect Omo, on the continent, to be in danger.
Sadly, we don’t get a good look at Bora-Bora’s argentinian cities and how they will affect Tiwanaku’s home front. But thinking about it, while New Holland and Moreno will have to grind their way through to these continental cities, probably to no avail, Bora-Bora stands to win a bunch of easy targets. They’re not the biggest prize, but still.
Case in point: Wilcawain, one of Tiwanaku’s new colonies near Papuasia, will probably not last long. Sure, this conquest will multiply the risks of war against Wahgi and Palawa in the future, but why care?
A first Kazakh debacle ensues as Bukhara retakes Herat. I don’t think any of these horsemen nearby will be fast enough to flip it this turn, so this might be the time to end that war.
Somewhere between slide 21 and this one, Kyzylorda was taken by Latvia. Now Kazakhstan took it back. And we will probably not see Latvia taking it again.
What’s more interesting is Kazan deciding to declare war on their blue neighbor, who now face a five-pronged war. The Urals will block most eastward attacks, but these cities to the North are pretty open. This is a good time for opportunists.
The info message also tells me I was wrong, as Nursultan is able to take Herat out of Bukhara’s hands again. Damn.
One of the Kumb Tapi, Wahgi’s Pikemen boosted by Rough terrain, hangs around on the carracks in Simuay’s bay, preparing for landing. Lamitan is at 0 health and Mag’s melee units could maybe attempt a small amphibious attack to flip it, but this would just be pushing it.
Oh, Daji, what has happened to you? How did the weak and the meek decide that you were weaker than them? Now evenMongolia decides to attack, and OId Sarai is nearly unprotected. Even Xiaotun will be under fire soon.
Sure, Shang still has a good army and a strong core, but there’s a strong possibility something will end up falling.
I counted around 20 triremes that disappeared or died trying to attack Pelotas just this episode, and finally one manages to do it. In honor for the dead, Maurits sets the island ablaze, and wonders if he has the courage to go and finish the job in the Antarctic.
Also, we get a look at Bora-Bora’s mainland army, and it is no trifle for Tiwanaku to deal with.
Tangiers flips again, reduced to one health. But more interestingly, Sierra Leone is attempting a pincer attack on Marrakech, from the North and the South. The lack of siege units is concerning, but I won't deny them their chances.
Here we can see Sikhulumaloyo, another of Swazi’s unique GP. But we mostly see Mogadishu’s complete failure at taking Zahran. I understand cities are more resistant to triremes now, but Mog has carracks now! Things can change, but this is fumbling at an unprecedented level.
Melitta Bentz rowed her way to Boriken to sell her new invention, the coffee filter. The product is on its way to great success: when you’re in the Tainos, you need every help to stay awake.
And this episode ends like the last one did, with a shot of the Burgundian war. The Bavarian advance, now led by Baldwin IV of Kingdom of Heaven fame, is not showing progress, the Visigoths are starting to damage Asturica’s walls, although it’s not sure they will take it, and Amiens seems poised to fall to the british fleet at some point or another. Charles is having a rough time, and next episode might signal the end for him.
With this, the episode comes to an end! Thank you for giving me the chance to narrate, it was a blast to do it. See you next episode!