Episode 2: Lady Dracula

1: Re-Introductions

Hello, dearest reader, and welcome to Episode 2 of CBRX4! My name is ExplosiveWatermelon. For those who are unaware of who I am: not only did I play a lead role in the development of 5 different civilizations this Season (Nivkh, Makhnovia, Saba-D’mt, Zheng, and the Khoshuts), I also happen to be a friend of series host Coiot, and was the poor soul who had to bug-fix civilizations within X4. If anything goes wrong, you can blame me.

Before I begin my writings, I should warn you that my narration style may not be suited for everyone. As such, I’ve attached footnotes to the end of each slide- if you wish to skip the more narrative aspects, these footnotes should cover most of the meta details in a more traditional narration format.

2: Kalmyk-Khoshuts Comparison

Thank you to /u/SiegeSquirrel42 for bringing attention to the fact that we accidentally put two versions of the same civ into the game. Whoops. We shall remedy this in the future by executing Coiot. The king is dead, long live the king.

3: Pacific Pals

Coiot: orangechrisy once again this season brings us her weekly comic! This time around, the focus will be on the civs touching the Pacific. It will be as spicy as the Ring of Fire./p>

4: Beloved Donators

Money. Money keeps the CivBattleRoyale going, and also helps give us a little wiggle room to expand. My hope is that we can save up enough to buy a bouncy castle. That’d be pretty cool.

5: Generic PR slide

Power Rankings! They’re the Rankings of Power! It turns out that we’ve already got a shake-up in the rankings thus far, as the Ume Sami take the #1 spot. It’s only a minor shift, but whether such a shift maintains itself will remain to be seen.

6: What Once Was

It was a curious sight; the denizens of Thang Long gathered around the wetlands along the coast. The wetlands gave shelter to lush vegetation and various fauna, who prospered in the harsh environment. Still, it was no place for human society, if one were to only gleam a surface look at it.

Indeed, there was more to the gathering. Amongst them were the elderly, the sick, and the morose- all come to give their lives back to the world from which gave them existence in the first place. It was not, in fact, a closing chapter- it was simply a return to what once was. It was a ritual act that venerated the cycle of nature, and one that has sown the seeds of religious practice amongst the Viet.

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Dai Viet takes the pantheon of Sacred Groves, a modded addition that gives +8 Culture and +8 Faith to Marshes. This will likely be a large boon due to the Marshy terrain of Southeast Asia. Furthermore, Dai Viet, Zheng, Khoshuts, and Siam all have settlers active.

7: The Great Plain War

The Osage people of the Ni-o-sho-de camp gather around their Chieftain, the renowned Pawhuska, in an open forum. He stands in front of a smoldering campfire, the dying light of sparks giving only a glimpse of his expression. Still, it was his voice that signified it was truly their chief who spoke-

“Behold the stars in the heavens above, dimmed by the moon’s light,” he spoke, “and know that if we do not shine upon this accursed world, we too shall fade.”

The words roused the crowd with its meaning. People begged their leader not to let the light dim on the Osage people. It was then that great Chieftain Pawhuska struck the fire, and the blaze began anew.

“We shall kindle our fires with the remains of the Shawnee! We shall, no more, live in the night!”

Thus, the people were spurred to action, and the many warriors of the Osage grabbed their clubs and bows and headed for the settlement of Chillicothe.

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The Osage declare war on Tecumseh’s Shawnee. Already some small skirmishes are active outside of Chillicothe. The Crow and Pueblo have some settlers active.

08: Carmilla

Amongst the streets of Regensburg, a rumor abounds- the tale of the Tigress of Csejte, Chieftainess Elisabeth Bathory. Stories say that a Bavarian war leader had met with her, and had not yet returned to the capital of Munich. Much like a virus changes and adapts, so too does the truth- from there, speculation about the murder of the Bavarian war leader who was murdered, nay, cannibalized by the vampiress of Csejte- the immortal Elizabeth Bathory, immortalized as a demoness.

The rumors, too, have consequences. Once they reached the streets of Hungary, citizenry pondered the details. Was their leader truly such a criminal? Were the Bavarians simply mocking the rule of their Chieftainess? Elizabeth Bathory was not one to sit idly while insulted, as she rallied her guards to march onto Regensburg in retaliation.

Thus, a simple bit of gossip had brought war to Europe once more.

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Royal Hungary declares war on Bavaria, and the city of Regensburg looks threatened as it stands.

09: An Eye for an Eye

The Great Finnic Tribes had found themselves a most peculiar visitor as well. An older man by the name of Jan Zizka, who was missing one eye. As he approached the Tavastian court of Chieftain Kirmukarmu, he roused the attention of the Finns with a tale of his homeland.

“Regarding the matter of my missing eye,” he said, “It was a dreadful affair. I was serving in the Castle Csejte as a military advisor to the Chieftainess Bathory. She wasn’t an imposing woman, certainly, but she had a great sense of malice about her… one that I couldn’t place. Evidently, the tigress didn’t like me snooping around, and she ordered me to have my eye torn out. For whatever reason, she spared me any further humiliation, and I was not to return to her court.”

Kirmukarmu looked at the general, and nodded, “Thus, you seek refuge here. Very well, I shall allow it.”

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A nice slide of the Finns, having earned the Great General Jan Zizka. Their name is bugged, but it’s undoubtedly him.

10: From Darkness, into the Light

Within the city of Vijayanagara, in the nation of Vijayanagara, is a library. A rather fantastic library, in fact. One that brought together the many strange tales of the cylinder. Chieftain Krishnadevaraya, in order to commemorate the opening of such a library, declares that humanity has emerged from the ages of Kali and has entered the Satya Yuga, the age of classics and unprecedented peace. This entering of a new era bore great significance to the populace- for the blessing came only under the guise of impermanence, as one age gives way to another.

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Vijayanagara constructs the Great Library, granting a free technology and bringing them into the Classical Era.

11: Veni, Vidi, Visigoth

Aghast by the stories of the vampiric Bathory, the citizens of Toledo demand an inquiry. Chieftain Leovigild had traveled recently to the lands of Bavaria, and spoke with Ludwig. They met on amicable terms, as was reported. All seemed normal.

Yet, soon after, the Chieftain Leovigild declares his unwavering support for Bathory’s invasion of Bavaria. Though this declaration stands only as a testament to Leovigild’s loyalty to Bathory, as the nation of Burgundy stands between the Bavaria and the Visigoth tribes, many raise questions of their leader and their sudden change of face.

On that same day, a new story is spun- that Charles I of Burgundy has sent his own investigation into the affairs of Chieftainess Bathory.

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The Visigoths join in the war declaration on Bavaria, but it’s unlikely to go anywhere. Still, they boast an impressive army.

12: How to Fight Wars Good

In the press: the Kazan General, Alexander Suvorov, pens a book on the martial sciences. This book, the Science of Victory, stands as a testament to his prowess in battle, and even details a proposed invasion of Kazakhstan. Excerpts from the book include harrowing reminders of the true nature of war-

“War,” Suvorov states, “Is about the masses. The biggest battlefield is not the site where men die- in fact, it is determined by who would best mobilize their citizenry into support of such a horrendous affair.”

Indeed, it is both a call to arms, and a condemnation of war. It is in the documentation of tactics that Suvorov hopes to educate the militaristic brass about how to win war such that they may never suffer it again.

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The Great General, Alexander Suvorov, appears in Kazan’s army. The Kazan army led by him seems to be approaching the undefended Kazakhstan.

13: Overgrowth

The city of Guayaquil was founded amongst the great brush of the Amazon. The Ecuadorian settlement along the lush jungle river provides a rewarding life for its inhabitants. But, perhaps the most curious detail of Guayaquil is the founding of such a city- for it is the first of such settlements within the undisturbed Amazon basin. Nobody had dared approach the Amazon up to this point, simply out of concerns that the rough terrain would prove challenging habitation.

Yet, that challenge makes the settlement of Guayaquil all the more rewarding. The lush vegetation provides great benefits to the Ecuadorians who have made the Amazon their home. Not only is it well-defended from potential invaders, but the fruits that grow within the amazon are fulfilling. It is the ideal place to find natural shelter from enemies.

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Ecuador settles a third city in the Amazon. The Amazon does not have a civilization starting in its basin this season, so the wide open jungle could become a heated battleground as civilizations fight over the rich lands. Also, a Bora Bora settler down south approaches the mainland.

14: D’mt, Janet

The people of the united tribes of Saba-D’mt begin a grand celebration as their settlement efforts finally bear fruit- the city of Ma’rib, a gem along the Nile that feeds into Lake Victoria. Although it is most certainly a time of prosperity for the two peoples, the Chieftainess Makeda does not celebrate.

For what can be said of the two peoples she represents? They’re expected to partake in a game of bloodshed and cruelty, yet they have never been warriors. They’re merchants, and with the ever-present Mamluk warriors that could bear down on them from the North at any time, the celebration seems only too soon.

However, a sigh of relief escapes her lips. Perhaps this means that not all is lost for her kin?

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Finally, Saba-D’mt settles their second city, being the last to do so. They’re not in the most beneficial position, but if they’re able to claim Lake Victoria, that’ll be a huge boon to their chances. However, the Mamluks- and Mogadishu as well- could very much damage Saba’s odds with an early invasion.

15: An Odd Affair…

Coiot's Note: Editor's prerogative, I have placed big slides in dropdowns. Click to expand.

LORE

Within the fort of Kirmukarmun, the recently acquired Jan Zizka meets with Kirmukarmu, who leads the Finns, and the headsman Nestor Makhno, leader of the tribe that bears his name. It is an odd affair- the two peoples could hardly be said to get along. Nestor was pompous, overconfident even, and yet never addressed himself as a leader amongst Kirmukarmu or even compared to Jan Zizka.

“Why,” Makhno spoke, “When it comes to military matters, we are all kinsmen. I do not fancy myself a despot, I merely aim for victory.”

Jan Zizka lifted an eyebrow. “Victory? Do you mean we’ve a new enemy?”

Kirmukarmu shrugged, “Perhaps for you, yes. Within this accursed world, there are numerous immortal rulers like Nestor and I. It only adds up that we’d have hate fester within ourselves as well, and indeed, Nestor and I share a common enemy.”

Nestor nodded, “Indeed, good sir. I’ve heard of your valor against the beast of Bathory, and I merely wish to ascertain your skills for myself. Thus, your Chieftain and I have decided to wage war on the Latvians as a test.”

“Very well,” Zizka sighed. He did not like to use violence as a toy. It was what he had hoped would separate him from his former employer.

Meanwhile, smoke begins to rise from Regensburg…

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Makhnovia and the Finns declare war on Latvia. Latvia has several settlers ready, so this could be a very beneficial war for both Makhnovia and the Finns if Latvia does not properly defend itself. Meanwhile, Regensburg begins to take damage as Hungarian forces bear down on the city walls.

16: Swan Lake

Yes, the forces of Hungary began to bear their fangs against the poor Bavarians! Ludwig II tears his attention away from the construction of a new fort in Nuremberg to address the situation. He gathers his finest military advisors for counsel.

“What are we facing in Regensburg?” He asks, firstly.

“The armies of Bathory, the vampire maiden of Royal Hungary.” A war leader states.

“Vampiress?” Ludwig questions, “I have heard of no such thing.”“Indeed,” another reply comes forth, “It was that rumor that instigated this whole affair.”

Ludwig II shook his head. “I shall go to investigate,” he said, “It should at least give me a glimpse of the construction of Castle Csejte. Perhaps we can sort out this affair before more damage is done to my beautiful city.”

Ludwig grabbed his cloak and ordered his finest men to join him in the expedition. Meanwhile, the military advisors have taken this opportunity to fortify their defenses in lieu of their immortal leader’s rule.

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So, in the more meta affairs, we get a closer look at the damage that Regensburg has taken and the siege it is currently under. It seems that the city itself is destined to fall into Hungarian hands, but Bavaria has at least equipped it with a moderate defense. We also get a look at Rome and Burgundy, both of whom are just kind of vibing- Burgundy has little in the way of an army, and Rome has little in the way of cities.

17: Wait this isn’t Burma

The construction efforts of Singapore, under the order of benevolent Lee Kuan Yew, have drawn attention for the curious depiction of their pantheon. Indeed, the gods they’ve chiseled out of stone and marble seemed more human than anything else. They were not powerful scenes, they were scenes of passion, romance and despair alike.

When questioned about the significance of this portrayal, Lee Kuan Yew gave no response. He merely looked at the statues with pride- for these monuments were not an insult to the gods. They were, simply, a testament to the divine nature of man.

Thus, he pursues a greater policy of construction and architecture within his precious state.

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I’m going to ignore the incoming War Declaration for now- the highlight of this slide is simply that Singapore, at a decent 3 cities, has adopted the Monument of the Gods pantheon, giving them a sizable bonus to the construction of Wonders unlocked before the Medieval Era.

18: Lisan al-Gaib

LORE

In tradition with the ‘Alawi court, Ismail ibn Sharif was summoned to the chambers of his spiritual advisor in great secrecy. The ritualistic proceedings beyond the chamber door were unknown to the greater public, and indeed, to Alaouite leader Ismail ibn Sharif. It was only a few minutes after pondering what could be beyond those doors that the spiritual advisor guided him in.

“Ah, Ismail, you kind soul. Don’t worry, although this ritual is maintained in private, there is nothing for me to hide. All I request of you,” the advisor paused, took out a small box no larger than that which would bear jewelry. Then, the advisor continued, “you must place your hand in the box.”

Ismail was wary. There could be many things that would fit in a box of that size. Spiders, perhaps? Snakes? What would he find in the experience of placing his hand within the casing?

He put his palm down inside, and felt nothing for a moment. “Oh,” Ismail spoke, “This is easy.”

The advisor shook his head. “That’s because it hasn’t started yet.”

“Started?” Ismail queried before interrupting himself with a large shout of pain. As soon as he attempted to take his hand out of the casing, a knife from the spiritual advisor went straight for his neck.

“Do not remove your hand, or else I shall strip everything from you.” His advisor cautioned him.

Minutes passed. Perhaps even hours. Ismail had his hand in the box, enduring a gauntlet of pains never before experienced on the cylinder. Then, the spiritual advisor nodded.

“Indeed, the rumors are true,” they said, “You have passed the test.”

“If I may,” Ismail said, “What’s in the box?”

The spiritual advisor showed the contents of the case to Ismail ibn Sharif, before swiftly closing the case. Ismail could hardly make out a shape, and in some way, it felt oddly familiar.

“This was a gift from the Da’amati Queen. By enduring the pain contained within that box, you have proven yourself of divine countenance… God-Emperor Ismail ibn Sharif.”

Ismail nodded, “I shall bear this responsibility, for better or worse.”

“Indeed,” the advisor said, “for I do not believe you have much say in the matter.”

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The Alaouites adopt the God-King pantheon belief, granting a small bonus to every yield in the capital. It’s a decent bonus, but mainly works early game. However, it allowed me to write this reference to Dune, so I appreciate it.

19: I Bless the Wars Down in Africa

In Southern Africa, tensions brew. The declaration of war from Changamire Dombo of the Rozvi upon the largely undefended Eswatini could spell a shift in the politics of Africa. Their capitals are close to one another, and thus concerns may be raised about the safety of Mbabane. Concerns that must be addressed by Labotsibeni Mdluli.

Their settlement missions have been delayed due to the Rozvi invaders fortifying their scouted locations. Even if there was a way to get past the soldiers, the terrain is hard to navigate and they’d likely have to go through the territory of Matamba in order to pursue greater settlement locations. As such, the Swazi citizens are trapped.

Labotsibeni duly wishes she could put her citizens’ minds at ease… but who will ease her? Is it not the truth that the situation is dire? If she is unable to fend off the invaders, what will become of her people?

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The Rozvi declare war upon Eswatini, and honestly? They look like they could take some solid clay. However, Mbabane at least has natural defenses in its favor. That said, Rozvi could easily overpower Eswatini by sheer numbers. Further, Matamba expands with their new settlement of Kavanga.

20: Go Go Gadget Goguryeo

Chieftain Gwanggaeto looks over his expanding empire. To the south, Mokjeo has been settled on the river delta that divides the north end of Korea from the south end. The western side, facing the Shang under that dreaded fox-woman, was guarded by the bastion city of Jolbon. The capital of Gungnae oversaw the realm from between those two cities, holding the northern front against the Nivkh.

It should’ve been enough for most rulers. But Gwanggaeto was not just a politician. He was an immortal, chosen to represent his peoples from amongst all his kin. As such, good enough does not exist. Until his domain stretched over all four corners of the cylinder, he would not be content.

Though, there was a part of him that still felt human. The part of him that stretched beyond his patriotic duty- the part that wished for peace.

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Goguryeo expands to three cities with their newly-founded settlement of Mokjeo. I believe they’re currently at war with the Nivkh, and there’s some minor skirmishes up north to showcase that, but nothing too serious as it stands.

21: Prophet Song

Life in Chillicothe has changed drastically over the past few years. Due to raiders from the Osage, farming on the outskirts of town has been far less productive, and the quality of life has greatly diminished. Only the town’s small militia remained to defend the villagers.

In the capital, Tecumseh’s been deathly quiet. There have been seemingly no efforts to form a larger standing army, nor efforts to reinforce the city of Chillicothe. It is as if the settlement, and the lives within, have become a sacrificial lamb to the maw of the Osage warriors.

Few were more concerned about Tecumseh’s silence than his own advisors. Even his own brother had tried to reason with Tecumseh, and been met with deaf ears. By all accounts, Tecumseh is only half there- a shadow of the man he used to be.

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Oh my. This is largely embarrassing for the Shawnee state- Chillicothe has lost half of its health due to marauding Osage warriors and archers, and there is absolutely no defense that the Shawnee could put forward in order to stall the invasion. We also get a closer look at Seneca, with three cities but a seemingly lackluster army.

22: Thule me once, shame on you

The chieftainess Javraganak stands beside her Thule brethren amidst the dry tundra of the Alaskan north. Qikiqtaruk is hardly a place to call home. Still, the Thule were not going to waste away in the snow, to die like many others have before. At the instruction of Javraganak herself, a scouting party has been able to establish a small village at the edge of the southern coast. A village known as Tatlurutit.

While it was not any more populated than Okak or even the capital of Qikiqtaruk, the village at least had the advantage of temperate summers. While the winters were still dangerous, it was a lot more habitable land than the frozen lands of the north. The settlement of Tatlurutit should inspire more like it in the future as well.

Thus, Javraganak has begun to lead the Thule out of the cold and dark.

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The Thule have settled the city of Tatlurutit along the Yukon, which should hopefully provide a good base with which to expand in the future. As their first two cities are settled in barren tundra, this city should hopefully get their population up to snuff. You can also see a glimpse of the Yellowknives to the east.

23: I see London, I see France!

LORE

Along the palisades of Autun, the militiamen of Burgundy hold the line against Visigothic invaders. The Visigoths under Leovigild have a most curious relationship with that of Elizabeth Bathory and her Royal Hungary. Although the war had not progressed up to that point, it was when Charles I began his investigation of Bathory’s activities that suddenly the war shifted. The Visigoths approach the lands of Burgundy, armed to the teeth, ready to slaughter… but for what cause?

Charles I awaits a report from his investigators. Certainly, if there was something that Bathory wanted hidden to such an extent, it must be something dreadfully heinous. Days, even weeks pass before there finally comes a knock at his chamber door. As Charles I opens it, he could feel a cold air waft into the room. Lo, who should stand before him but the Visigoth Chieftain, Leovigild?

“Charles,” he said, “I’ve come to make a report.”

Charles I blinked in astonishment. “You? A report?”

“Why, yes.” Leovigild laughed, “It was your intent to investigate Elizabeth, was it not? I’m afraid, having visited Castle Csejte, your men simply did not wish to leave quite yet. As such, I’ve done them the service of making their report for you.”

Charles I was aggravated by this clear insult, and yet there was something to be said that he could not refuse his enemy’s wishes while Autun was under duress. “Very well, you may make your report and leave.”

“Yes, the report,” Leovigild said as the smile on his face dimmed, “You must not pursue the matter further. That is all.”

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Here we see Burgundy under siege by a small band of Visigoth warriors. Autun has not yet taken damage, and it remains to be seen whether they will continue to push towards the city, but it seems as though both offensive efforts by the Visigoths and defensive efforts by Burgundy have been half-hearted.

24: What Will Be

Due to their ritualistic worship of the marshlands of Southeast Asia, the Viet have settled another city south of Thanh Hoa. The lands of Bac Giang are plentiful, with jungles to feed the citizenry and marshes for their religious practices. It is for this reason that Bac Giang thus becomes a haven for the dying and sickly who wish to mark their return to nature.

Yet, in all the world, few would say there is a more lively city. Many that gather within Bac Giang spend the remainder of their days working for the betterment of Dai Viet and having long discussions over a warm meal. It’s a cozy place.

To the north, the Zheng state stirs once more. The privateer Zheng Chenggong, otherwise known as Koxinga, pursues lands west of Siming. Curiously, although he is a naval man, the city actually bears no coastline- instead finding itself on a riverbank. This city, known as Fuzhou, could serve as a barricade against the potential threat of Viet expansion.

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Dai Viet and Zheng extend their empires to 3 cities each. Bac Giang is an amazing spot, considering the Dai Viet’s Sacred Groves belief that grants amazing bonuses to Marsh, while the Zheng city… is good, but to a lesser extent.

25: Will the Real Maximilian I Please Stand Up?

In the lands of the Mexica, the tribes of Mexico under Chieftain Maximilian I boast a strong Central American state. Not only are there plans to expand near the Yucatan peninsula, their three current settlements of Mexico City, Guadalajara, and Veracruz have grown at a steady rate. Thus, it should be no surprise that they’ve decided to enshrine their belief in settlements into religious doctrine.

Within the Mexican folk religion, land management is central to their scripture. Those who work their land are often described as being blessed by the spirits of the land itself, so those with more land are said to have greater blessings. Families who follow traditional Mexican beliefs will often place treats outside the front door of their house, only to find them missing in the morning- reportedly, due to the influence of nature spirits.

That said, the more rationalized minds have noticed an increase of mouse droppings upon leaving food out overnight.

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Here, we have a lovely view of Mexico. They had a color shift for this game, exchanging their vibrant red for a camo green. With three cities, and a fourth on the way, it seems that Mexico will be here to stay for a while at least. That said, I doubt they’ll end up being too powerful- they lack direct neighbors that typically foster early-game expansion, so it remains to be seen whether their efforts will bear fruit or not.

26: Palawa World

From the capital of Mutawaynatji, the Palawa send voyageur after voyageur to explore and colonize the mainland of Australia. Having made contact with the Noongar polities, a deal was struck in favor of Palawa expansion into the wild continent. Already, the settlements of Pataway and Putalina have brought great fortune to the colonists, with Pataway even growing beyond the size of the capital itself.

The Palawa settlers, having seen the wide, open range of the Australian mainland, report a vision- a band of colored light, streaking across the sky in an almost serpentine fashion, before vanishing into the horizon. With no logical reasoning behind the rainbow that appeared before them, they come to the conclusion that what they saw was something entirely illogical- and merely a gift from the land itself.

The gift is appreciated, and the Palawa often look into the skies after rainy days, hoping to see whether their gift shall return to them once more.

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While there is some discussion about the Noongar that I could bring up- the cities of Mandurah and Pinjarra- I feel the focal point of this slide are the numerous settlers that the Palawa have produced and sent into Australia. With that said, I would also like to appreciate the strength of the Palawa capital- due to its isolated nature, it will likely be well-defended for the majority of the game, and provide a strong ground with which to expand into Australia and potentially even New Zealand.

27: Searching for Meaning

Perhaps, it had come as a shock even to Leovigild. That he should assist in the devilish plots of Elizabeth Bathory. He was, in truth, unaware of her matters- she was simply a benefactor, and he had sought to defend her integrity against these accusations. However, it was a fact that noble women from across Europe had been going missing during their visits to Csejte.

Upon hearing the news of the ongoing Autun Conflict with Burgundy- that all was going well on the Northern front- Leovigild had grabbed his coat and headed off.

“I have defended that Bathory woman, and I still intend to,” he spoke, “but I cannot deny that I know nothing of the true matter of her character. I shall meet with her at once.”

With that, he parted from his court and headed towards Csejte.

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I’m going to put a pin on discussing Regensburg until the next slide. Here we get a look at the Visigoths and their new pantheon belief, Vision Quests. +1 Happiness and +1 Culture from Shrines is a pretty good belief for an expansionist civ- let’s hope they make use of it. Also, their army near Autun has grown and organized into a proper formation- with reinforcements on the way, they could potentially threaten the city.

28: Lady Dracula

While passing through Regensburg, he had seen his soldiers fending off the onslaught of the Hungarian warbands. The city he had so carefully constructed had been reduced to a ruinous mess. This was a travesty that should never have come to pass. Thus, Ludwig sought to punish Elizabeth Bathory in God’s absence.

It was, at his arrival in Csejte, that Ludwig had a sense of morbid dread overwhelm him. Having passed through Regensburg, Ludwig had made himself aware of the rumors. Elizabeth Bathory, if she truly was as horrid as they said, would be a fierce woman. Yet, Ludwig was determined not to fall victim to her- indeed, as an immortal leader much the same as many others, it was his duty.

As the towers of Csejte castle peered over his head, Ludwig felt a sense of vulnerability. As though he were just any mortal man. They passed through the forested hills as the approached the doors, the fauna of the woods watching with envy as another meal approached the castle of Elizabeth Bathory.

As Ludwig entered the gates of Csejte castle, a young woman in an intricate dress approached him. It was, surely, Elizabeth Bathory herself.

“Welcome, Ludwig,” she grinned, “to the primary bastion of Elizabeth Bathory.”

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Bavaria’s city of Regensburg is in the red! Could we be witnessing the first city capture of the game? Certainly, Royal Hungary has the means with which to capture the city. That said, there is still potential for Bavaria to defend the city- their standing army, while still miniscule, has grown to a modest size. Also, Latvia has settled the city of Daugavpils some distance north of Makhnovia.

29: Killers of the Flower Moon

The beating of drums wakes up the citizens of Chillicothe. Once more, as it has been for the past months, they awaken to the marauding Osage.

The warriors of the Osage, armed with clubs and spears and bows, had slaughtered many of their kin. Torches and fires lit up the nights of the Shawnee villagers. Where once there were stars, the night sky now has been covered in a layer of smoke and ash.

The widows of Chillicothe heard nothing of their immortal leader. They wrung their hands in prayer, hoping that if there was a god above that they would not remain silent for this injustice… as Tecumseh did.

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The Osage continue their assault on Chillicothe. The few Shawnee soldiers that are garrisoned in Chillicothe fervently defend the city, however. The rivers surrounding the village also provide for a nice defense, but it still seems as though Chillicothe is destined to fall.

30: Caw

In the lands of the great Hudson Bay are two tribes: the Crow and the Yellowknives. At this point, the two tribes live in peace. The Yellowknife continued to scout the Northern lands for areas to make their homes, as did the Crow, yet there was no struggle between the two. Communications did occur between the two nations- a trade route had been established between the cities of Ti Cho and Iaxuhpish Aashkaate, thus solidifying the peace of these peoples.

That was, a peace that remained ever unsteady. With the new settlement of Bahkisee by the Crow, the renowned Chieftain Joe Medicine Crow had perhaps gone too far north. Still, Akaitcho remained stalwart in keeping his beloved Yellowknives in peace. As he waved the colonists from Dettah out, he smiled, knowing that the ideals of the unity between these two people were maintained for yet another day.

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We get a look at the Yellowknives and the Crow, both of whom are currently just vibing. The Crow settled the city of Bahkisee, which is actually a pretty strong forward settle against the Yellowknives- but that’s a discussion for the future. Neither power seems fit to go to war with the other quite yet.

31: Call Me Mabey

From the capital settlement of Boriken, the Cacique- a title unique to the Taino- known as Mabey oversees the construction of the Taino navy. The Taino are one of the few civilizations on the cylinder to bear the power of sailing- an ability they’ve used to their advantage.

For that matter, the navy has been instrumental in scouting out nearby islands with which to settle. The village of Xaymaca has been placed on the eastern end of the Island of Cuba, while the city of Cubao rests along the western side of Hispaniola’s mountains.

Agueybana II, the Head Cacique among the Taino, rests in his cabin in Boriken. He wonders whether the odd Floridians in Fernandina will pose a threat to their colonization of the Caribbean. However, the odds seem slim- Gregor MacGregor does not seem like the honest leader type.

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Ooo, here we see a Unique Unit: the Taino Cacique! These Great General replacements grant a large bonus to Culture and Faith from farms in all cities, which could be instrumental in the Taino’s race to found a religion. That said, I feel it’s a bit weak.

32: Murphy’s Law

Among the Kalmyks, there is a saying:

“If trouble is outside your door, do not invite it in.”

Yet, upon the day in question, ruler Ayuka Khan had essentially given trouble a grand welcome. Indeed, after recent successes in thwarting the invasion of the Makhnovist horde, it seems as though Ayuka Khan had let down his guard. During the evening, while Ayuka Khan slept alongside the soldiers meant to guard his capital, a plot had been set in motion. Indeed, it was a declaration of war from Pontus, allied with Kazan, intending to take over the lands of Kalmykia and divide it amongst themselves. While Pontus may not pose an immediate threat, Kazan most certainly constitutes one.

It seems, indeed, that trouble has allowed itself into Ayuka Khan’s abode.

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Kazan and Pontus declare war on the Kalmyks, who’ve been severely weakened due to conflict with Makhnovia. The settler north of Astrakhan is seemingly in grave danger, but the worse matter is that Saratov and Astrakhan are essentially at the enemy’s doorstep. It would only take a few turns for the army of Kazan (which, if you recall from a few slides back, is fairly impressive) to come plowing through Kalmykia.

33: The Fox Woman

It is hard for a woman in the Shang dynasty to hold power. Yet, by some odd twist of fortune, did it fall into the hands of Daji. Cruel, malevolent Daji. Indeed, during her rule, she had brought into the world a great evil- both in her own acts, and the acts of those she’s inspired. Still… Daji was a beautiful woman. Adored by all citizens for her grace, Daji was deified as a fox spirit. Yet, there were two sides to her divinity- the side that loved and yearned to be loved, and the side that found itself enriched in hedonistic acts of ultra violence.

Even when her suitors, seeing the absence of the great king she once loved as an opportunity to win the heart of Daji, had made their way to the Deer Terrace Pavilion, there was nothing for them but pain and misery. There was no returning spilt blood back to its host.

The Yue Axemen of Shang swore absolute fealty to Daji. Thus, they turned a blind eye to her cruelty. Yet even the most faithful soldier must have wondered when they would be next on the chopping block?

Ah, Daji, what will your fate be?

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Lol. Lmao even. Shang just earned the Goddess of Love Pantheon, which is both very fitting and extremely ill-fitting for Daji. They only have 1 city with a population above 5, and that’s their capital of Zhaoge. Still, with 4 cities, Shang is doing very well. They even boast their impressive Yue Axemen, a unit that receives a random promotion for every Policy Tree Shang has unlocked. Oh, and they prevent enemy Units that start adjacent to them from pillaging. Nice.

34: Lake Selenga

The great Chieftainess of Mongolia, Sorgaghtani, has united the many Mongol tribes amidst her court in Karakorum. Yet, it seems in her haste to unite her own peoples, she has united many against her- the vile fox woman of the Shang has formed a coalition against Sorgaghtani, with the assistance of the Selkups, the Dzungars, and Bukhara.

Sorgaghtani took pause for just a moment. The Gobi desert provided shelter from Southern invaders, and the rough terrain of Siberia protects against Western invasion… It seemed as though there was no need to panic.

Thus, as her guards escort her to Lake Selenga for a conference between the Mongol tribes, she was pleased to be able to reassure them that no harm would come to the new unified Mongol state.

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Hey, Zheng’s in a golden age! That must be what we’re showcasing here. Oh, wait, Mongolia got 4 whole war declarations on them- being a target of Bukhara, the Selkups, Shang, and the Dzungars. Luckily for Sorgaghtani, none of them seem to be in the position to invade her lands. By the way, look at the accidental placement of Lake Victoria along the Selenga river! That’s not supposed to be there! How could this have happened?

35: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Charles I has not heard from his investigators into the matter of Elizabeth Bathory. In fact, he has not heard from them at all. It’s been days since the dreaded visit from Leovigild. Yet, on that day, he does get a message of sorts.

A raven, its wings a jet black, perches itself upon the windowsill of his manor in Dijon. In its mouth, it carries only a small fig leaf- perhaps a reminder of the original sin? Clearly, this raven was a messenger from the gods. Ravens do often bring prophecy with them.

Charles I clears his mind of the Bathory affair. He grabs his coat and arms and heads off towards Autun in a desperate attempt to maintain his city against the invading Visigoths. Whether the prophecy was good or bad, Charles had decided to pursue matters in his own hands.

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Burgundy gets the Spirit Animals pantheon belief. +1 Faith and +1 Culture on Bison, Deer, Furs, Horses, and Ivory! Which, I believe, they have none of.

36: Let there be Light!

In the great capital of Simuay, Kudarat of Maguindanao gathers his citizens for the grand opening of a lighthouse. Indeed, the lighthouse had measured some scale larger than most others on the cylinder. It was a symbol, not only of the great construction, but of the pride of his people.

This lighthouse will not only lead his navy to distant shores, but after a long bout of war in foreign lands, it will then guide them home. Thus, the lighthouse stood over Simuay like an obelisk, guiding the people of Maguindanao out of the past, and into the future.

Kudarat, a known sailor in his own right, could not have wished for a better, or brighter, symbol.

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Maguindanao grabs the Great Lighthouse! An exceptional wonder for them that will allow their navy to travel faster. This great bonus will surely lead to great things for the island nation.

37: Starry, Starry Night

From Ni-o-sho-de, a raucous laughter erupts. The Osage settle into the homes that they’ve vacated from the Shawnee within their newly-claimed settlement of Chillicothe. Once a proud bastion on the Shawnee frontier, now belonged to the fierce Osage warriors.

Pawhuska looks up again at the night sky. The smoke has dissipated, and the stars have come out once more. He smiles, knowing that he has done his duty.

“May darkness never fall upon the Osage!” He roars to his proud citizenry. The crowd roars back in a resounding cheer.

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Chillicothe falls, as the Osage claim the first conquest of the game! On the same turn as another city is conquered in Europe- a matter that we’ll handle at a later point. The Shawnee have no hope in retaking the city, fielding only a single warrior adjacent to the city of Prophetstown.

38: Vampire: the Masquerade

LORE

Within the Castle Csejte, Ludwig II and Elizabeth Bathory meet once more. At dinner, there’s a great silence that fills the room. The two sit at opposite ends of a long table.

“Bathory?” Ludwig inquires.

“Yes?” She responds.

“How have you made this duck taste so… rich?” Ludwig’s first question was meant to be harmless. He had many questions running through his head, but he was not so foolish as to make an enemy of Bathory within her own domain. If the rumors were true, he did not want to be the next feast of a vampire maiden.

“Ah,” Bathory wipes her lips, before shifting her attention back to Ludwig, “It’s not duck. It’s swan, from the gardens of Regensburg.”

“What?!” Ludwig exclaims in anger, “Regensburg is rightfully Bavarian land.”

“Indeed, it was,” Bathory smiles, “But, I believe you’ve heard the rumors, have you not? I am a horrible woman, so willing to dispose of the lives of others to my advantage. Indeed, my soldiers have marched into Regensburg, seized your precious architecture, and slaughtered the swans in your manor garden. That is what we feast on tonight.”

Finally, it all clicks for Ludwig. The source of the rumors was in Regensburg, but that does not mean it simply came from the curious mind of Bavarians. It was a ploy, by Bathory herself, to give herself the casus belli to take the city- an excuse she gave herself to commit heinous atrocities within Ludwig’s fine city.

Still, he could not deny that the taste of swan was great.

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The city of Regensburg falls as well! Gee, this turn is bloody, isn’t it? As soon as first blood was shed, it seems as if everyone is clamoring for the next bite. I feel I should mention that Royal Hungary has almost completely surrounded the city as well, thus making it near-impossible for Bavaria to reclaim the city. It will likely remain in Hungarian hands for the remainder of the episode.

39: It’s so Makhnover

Ayuka Khan wipes his brow. After stirring to the sounds of conflict outside of Astrakhan, he realized that he had lowered his guard against Kazan. Thus, as the war with Makhnovia had stalled, he made a tricky peace with Nestor Makhno- thus allowing for the Kalmyks to recuperate in case of Kazan invasion.

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The Kalmyks make peace with Makhnovia, and thus we get another view of this part of the world! In Anatolia, Pontus sends out a third settler. Kazan doesn’t seem to be turning their attention towards the Kalmyks at this moment in time, so it seems like Ayuka Khan is safe for now. By the way, while you can’t see it- the Pantheon the Kalmyks adopted is that of the God of War, granting Faith if they win a battle near their cities.

40: Barack Lobamba

In Southern Africa, the Rozvi celebrate a hard-earned victory over the Eswatini in their new city of Lobamba. The city is rich with grain, and thus the soldiers of the Rozvi feast upon fine breads and drink the heartiest of meads. Life is good for the Rozvi.

Yet, for Labotsibeni Mdluli of Eswatini, life is challenging. She foresaw this loss easily, but she remains helpless to remedy the situation. The growing Rozvi army now threatens her capital of Mbabane, as well as their new settlement of Big Bend on the southern cape. The loss of Lobamba could be the beginning of the end for the Swazi.

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Holy shit, before the turn is even over, we have yet another city capture! The Rozvi capture Lobamba from the grasp of Eswatini, and it’s a sizable capture too, with 4 population total. It does not look like there’s any chance of the city flipping, so this is a huge boon for Rozvi.

43: Damghan shot first

The Afsharid chieftain, Nader Shah, has sent out several colonization missions from his capital in Mashhad. Not only has the recent Caspian settlement of Damghan been a major success, but there are two settlers ready to move out of Mashhad into the greater area. The matter is simple- with only Bukhara blocking the north, they are free to expand in three different directions.

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The narrative for this slide is fairly short. There’s two settlers by Mashhad, and the settlement of Damghan on the Caspian signals the beginning of a large Afsharid state. Nice.

44: Unfortunately, the English

Amidst the British Isles of Europe are one of the most curious people- the English. From their cultural hearth in London, they’ve grown to be a formidable land army, despite being isolated on an island by themselves. Well, I suppose that isn’t quite true- the Faroe Islanders have settled up north, but are quite distant from where the mass of English soldiers lie.

Henry V, from his court in London town, commands his personnel to voyage across the English channel and make their landing safely in York. Men from London and the brand-new settlement of Bristol depart from their beloved families, to march onto new lands for reasons currently unknown.

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Unfortunately, the English are in this game. Here’s a slide of them and their brand-new settlement of Bristol. They’ve got a decent army, but that’s about it.

45: Intermission

To be honest, I don’t really have a narrative for this slide. As such, this slide will mark the intermission of the episode. Grab your snacks while I give DocIdo their needed break from my bullshit.

We can see that Bora Bora’s cities are very populous, and that they’re sending a settler far to the East. Perhaps they’ll settle South America? I’m not too sure, but expansion is going to be key for Puni and their development of Polynesia.

46: Wah-Lui-Gi

From their capital village of Mount Hagen, the Wahgi have pursued an extensive campaign of colonization. The populous towns of Banz and Goroka already serve as monuments towards the success of their settlement efforts, but in recent weeks the settlements of Korn and Ambang have shown great promise. Expansion efforts continue, as two settlement missions have been sent out, but as of yet they have not founded any permanent settlement.

Of course, with such a widespread state, there has been a large uptick in crime. Recent reports of a figure known only as ‘the Phantom’ have stirred amongst the Wahgi- a masked warrior who fights against criminals and the corrupt. Whether or not the figure is real, the end result is similar: reports of criminal activity have severely diminished in the years since the Phantom was first reported.

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Holy fuck, Wahgi- these guys are huge. With five cities currently, and two more on the way, the Wahgi could slingshot themselves into an early expansive empire to rival even those on the mainland.

47: Ice, Ice, Baby

Maria the Elder, as Chieftainess of the Tehuelche, must deal with the task of providing both political and spiritual guidance to her people. Until this point, she had only done the former.

Yet, it was while exploring the Isla de Estados outside of Comlel that she struck upon inspiration. The gorgeous sights of the fjords present upon the island must have been caused by some great force of nature. It is thus, her belief, that such a force of nature must be responsible for the shape of the world as a whole.

In actuality, a fjord is shaped by the constant movement of glaciers cutting across landscapes.

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Tehuelche grabs the Glacier Spirits pantheon belief, granting +1 Culture and +1 Faith from Snow tiles. They do not have any Snow tiles.

48: Florida Man

Gregor MacGregor did not expect to be in this position.

He would certainly admit that he’s simply a scam artist. That he had no expectation of proper leadership or rule, and that he simply hoped to take the money and run.

Yet, there he sat in his office in Fernandina, when he realized that he was the leader of the only society on the planet that had only founded one city. That’s bad. There’s little profit to be had in being the rump on the world map. Sure, the Shawnee may have been reduced to one city, but they at least HAD a second city!

He begins to plot his next venture, knowing that it very well may be his last.

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The Floridas have one city, but it looks like they’ve at least got intentions to settle a second one at some point. While the settler north of Fernandina does not seem to have moved, there is another exploring the southern tip of Florida, perhaps intending to grab some lands off of the Taino.

49: Autun Baby

LORE

Leovigild approached the Autun front with Burgundy, his wagon safely guarded by his advisor, Prince Rui. It was, thus, a surprise to have his carriage suddenly halt. He peered out the window, and saw none other Charles I.

As Leovigild stepped out of his carriage, he met with the face of the man he had wronged once more. “Ah, Charles,” he said, “We’re simply passing by, today. I have a meeting with Elizabeht, you see.”

Charles nodded, “I do not intend to stop you, personally. However, the same cannot be said of the military guarding the city of Autun. If you wish to get through, you must take the city. In such a case, I will be there to stop you.”

“Ah,” Leovigild thought, “This is your way of revenge, is it? Very well. I accept your terms.”

As he acquiesced, Charles simply turned around and returned beyond the walls of Autun. Leovigild was determined to capture the city, and find out the great truth of the woman known as Elizabeth Bathory.

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The Visigoths ramp up their invasion of Burgundy, bringing the city of Autun down to half health! This invasion is led by Prince Rui, which… is a title, not a person. I believe the intended general is meant to be Dorgon, who had the title of Prince Rui and was the son of Manchu Khan Nurhaci, but I have no clue.

50: Bae-varia

LORE

Ludwig II had only narrowly escaped becoming a prisoner within Castle Csejte. Indeed, it was by some divine intervention that he had been given the opportunity- his soldiers had managed to retake Regensburg, and while Bathory was distracted by such matters, he was able to sneak out at the changing of the guards.

Upon his return to Munich, he discovered a peculiar sight- a temple of the most beautiful construction, sat right beside his palatial manor. An inspiring marvel of architecture, and one that brought Ludwig to his senses.

He gathered up his military advisors once more.

“The Elizabeth Bathory rumor was a sham,” Ludwig said, “Merely an excuse by her with which to disgrace our cities. We will not let it stand- we shall defend Regensburg to our last breaths. Do all of you understand?”

His council nodded, although some might have agreed simply out of the shock of Ludwig actually taking an interest in military matters.

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Holy shit, Bavaria managed to retake the city of Regensburg! Furthermore, Ludwig II has completed the construction of the Temple of Artemis, which is actually a really good wonder due to the +10% Food generation bonus. While the city of Regensburg seems destined to fall, this could certainly turn things around for Bavaria, as it looks that they’ve built a decent army around Munich with which to maintain their efforts to flip Regensburg back into their own hands.

51: Mahayanarama

Dai Viet scholars, having studied the marsh burial rites for years, finally have a breakthrough. What if these burial rites were just part of a grand practice, where death gives way to new life? A cycle of endless reincarnation, born out of human nature.

By thus codifying these beliefs, the religion of Mahayana has formed out of the holy city of Thang Long. Tran Thanh Tong seizes the opportunity and confirms Mahayana as the state religion of Dai Viet.

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For anyone who’s been skipping the narrative bits, this will be the last slide with any narrative, as the story has mostly wrapped up at this point. Anyways, Dai Viet has founded the religion of Mahayana out of the city of Thang Long! This will be a great bonus for them, but it seems that their efforts in founding this religion has distracted them from building a proper army.

52: Finally, the narrative stops

No more narrative! I have deadlines to meet, and the story is essentially over from this point onwards. So, let’s get on with the meta stuff-

Florida FINALLY settles their second city of Fort San Carlos, south of Fernandina. Hopefully this means they’re actually going to be participating in the Battle Royale from this point forward.

53: Caw Caw

The Crow have expanded to four cities with the settlement of Chichuche near Lake Superior. However, the military of the Crow is still severely lacking- with two archers and three warriors at their disposal, it doesn’t seem like conquest is on the menu just yet.

54: 99 Theses but a bitch ain’t one

Shocking: a city called Prophetstown gives birth to a Great Prophet. The Shawnee have founded Lutheranism, thus giving us yet another religion to view on the world map at the end of the episode! YAY!

Oh? But what’s this? There’s another religion, in fact…

55: No-AI-devuohta

Yes, it appears that in the city of Mausjaure, the Sami have founded the religion of Noaidevuohta! Don’t worry if I’ve been skimming over a lot of the finer details about these new religions, by the way- there’ll be more information at a later point.

56: Rice to Meet You

In Mexico, there is a grand new wonder opening, as we now know the construction of the Banaue Rice Terraces has completed! There is, unfortunately, no wonder model for them. However, at least we get a nice look at Mexico City and their Great General.

57: Beliefs, Part 1

It is now later, and thus we get a look at the religious beliefs of Lutheranism and Mahayana!

It appears that followers of Lutheranism get a bonus when fighting near cities that follow their religion, and may also construct the Stupa religious building!

Meanwhile, Mahayana grants a bonus to Walls, Forts, and Castles. The rest of the belief gets cut off, unfortunately. We also see that Cities with at least 10 followers get +5 Culture and +5… culture? I think something’s wrong there.

58: Beliefs, Part 2

The Sami religion, on the other hand, grants a bonus to Culture and Faith from Guild buildings (presumably that’s what it was saying before it got cut off) and can earn Prophets and Missionaries with less Faith. That likely means we’re going to see a lot of Noaidehvuohta.

59: Moggers

Mogadishu settles the city of Shangani WAY down south, right near where Zanzibar should be IRL. Mogadishu also has some Caravans active, which is good! They’re mainly a trade civ, so hopefully their bonuses from trade routes will help them throughout the game.

As a tidbit, Mogadishu gets additional food and gold from trade routes for every Resource type they have in either city. Isn’t that cool?

60: Free town? Don’t mind if I do!

It looks like Sierra Leone, as is tradition, has sent a settler to found a city on some random spot elsewhere in the cylinder. We’re so proud of them.

They also bear their unique Company Ship! These unique Cargo Ship replacements start a We Love the King Day when trading with a City on a different landmass. They also grant Golden Age points when trading with a Civilization that Sierra Leone has made a Declaration of Friendship with! YAY!

61: I’m sorry, Dijon

Autun continues to take damage from the Visigoths’ attack, which seems to have mostly faltered at this point. Better luck next time, Leovigild.

Also, it appears Regensburg has fallen back to Royal Hungary’s grasp! Bavaria continues their offense to reclaim the city, but it seems their efforts might be limited.

62: Harappa the Rapper

Here we see Harappa, carrying their unique Bullock Cart UU. They are now a target of war for Makhnovia, which is far from a relevant war, but at least gives us the opportunity to get a look at everyone’s favorite Indus River Valley Civilization.

Also, because it gets overlooked between this slide and next- the Afsharids also declare war on Harappa.

63: Fuck it, we ball

Alexander Suvorov shows up once more, as it appears the Kalmyks have done the cringe move of settling a third city right next to their enemies. Kazan looks like they can easily take the city. Clearly, this was all part of the plan.

We also get a look at Kazakhstan, Kazan’s OTHER enemies, who have taken very little damage. Despite being one of the least popular CBR civs ever, Kazakhstan seems to be vibing.

64: Hotel California

The Pueblo settle the city of Oraibi along the southern California coastline. This marks their fourth city, and it could potentially be useful far in the future for intercontinental warfare. That said, this early on, I doubt it’ll provide much assistance to the Pueblo. Sure, it’s another factory for units, but look at their army- it already appears to be one of the strongest in North America. Which, I suppose, isn’t saying much at this point in the game.

65: Everybody Hates Harappa

Oops, it seems we forgot another war against Harappa, as Vijayanagara decides to join in the fun! They have no army, but they recently settled the city of Chandragiri right next to Harappa, so maybe there’ll be some skirmishes there? To be honest, I don’t expect any of these wars to go anywhere.

66: Here Comes the Sunni

Mogadishu gets the Sunni religion! I have no clue what their beliefs are, at this point. Ugh, fine, I guess they ARE my little MogChamps- we can discuss this slide a bit further.

We’ve learned from Timor-Leste in X3 that founding a religion can play an instrumental part in certain civ’s ability to fight wars good. Mogadishu is not a militaristic civ, but the bonuses that a religion can grant may be just the advantage that Mogadishu needs to get that cherished CBR W.

Furthermore, we see in the north that Saba has two settlers at their disposal- while I doubt they’re going to move one of them, the other should be free to found another city. Combine that with Saba’s surprisingly abundant military, and Saba could actually be recovering from one of the biggest missteps in CBR.

67: Bye-varia

Haha, Regensburg fell. I mean, I believe it had already been captured last turn, but now we get a closer look. It seems like there is no way for Bavaria to reclaim the city whatsoever- or at least, not at this point. Royal Hungary also has a settler heading into Poland, so this could actually be a huge advantage for Elizabeth Bathory and her rise to power.

Also, on the very left side of the slide, it appears that England is really building up their armed forces.

68: VisiGOATed

Autun falls to the Visigoths as Leovigild’s leadership finally pushes through the city walls! The city will remain in revolt for a bit, and then it will remain puppeted. At least, it’ll likely remain a puppet until they research the Courthouse to allow them to annex the building. That said, this is a huge blow to Burgundy one way or the other- and indeed, it could factor into the future designs of Europe as a whole.

69: Beliefs, Part 3

Here, we see that Mogadishu has taken the Cities of Gold belief- which isn’t too shocking, although they won’t make much use of it yet- as well as the Hero Worship belief. The Hero Worship belief, in particular, is a great bonus- granting 20 faith every time a great person is expended. In a game like CBR, where Great Generals are abundant, this could easily stack up for Mogadishu.

70: World Map, Part 1

Here, we get a glance at a brand new addition to the CBR modlist- the World Map, courtesy of JFD. This allows us to get a closer look at our no-longer-mini-map and point out all the spots where cities are! Of course, some city locations aren’t shown- as you can see by the missing dot located where Lobamba should be- but we can see some cool details. For instance, the Thule have 4 cities, thus putting them over the Nivkh. The Pueblo also seem to have settled a Southern city near Mexico. Zheng, ALSO seems to have settled a fourth city, putting them ahead of Dai Viet!

Details like these could really change up how the power rankers make their judgements, as normally the minimap is a bit too small to make details out clearly.

71: World Map, Part 2

This map shows the overall population trends of the cylinder- as we can see, the Visigoths are declining in population, and a lot of African Civilizations are Stagnant, but the majority are still in a period of growth.

72: World Map, Part 3

This shows a different type of growth: the growth of one’s wallet. I can’t quite tell what the color gradient means, but I believe it’s simply a matter that only a few civs are losing funds each turn, whereas the rest just aren’t producing enough money. The Wahgi, for instance, are in the orange, as are the Seneca.

73: World Map, Part 4

Here, we see the number of Civilizations that are either at peace or at war. Southeast Asia and Oceania is peaceful, but it seems that most of Europe and Asia are at war with one another.

South America does not know what war is. It simply does not exist.

74: Army of Lovers

It’s Epaminondas, the great statesman of Thebes. He’s the man whose treachery brought the end of the Spartan hegemony under Agesilaus II. As the modder who designed a Spartan civ specifically under Agesilaus II, I can never forgive this man.

Anyways, Epaminondas is serving under Trajan’s Rome, who seem to be scouting out a location for a third city. It might be too late for them, however, as a lot of valuable land in Europe has been taken up already.

Hey look, it’s that settler from Sierra Leone again!

75: Bat Manan

Ah, Kanem-Bornu. Honestly, I never had high hopes for them, but at least they’re in the game. They’ve got nice colors.

Along the coast, they recently settled the city of Manan. That said, I don’t have much to say about them at this point- they’ll need to build up more of an army if they wish to fend off future invasions.

76: Icky Ikko

The Ikko-Ikki found their UNIQUE religion, Jodo Shinshu, in their capital fortress of Ishiyama Hongan-ji. The boys in brown are pretty cool, in my opinion, but I do worry that their underwhelming expansion will be the death of them.

Even Zheng has grown to 4 cities at this point. How are you still at 2, Kennyo?

77: As Good as Gucci

Hey, these are my boys I designed with Coiot! The Khoshuts, under Gushi Khan! I’m very happy to see them here, and I do enjoy their new colors.

It looks like they’ve got 2 settlers with which to expand out of the barren lands of Tibet. They’ve decided to send them up to the equally barren Tarim Basin, it seems, but hopefully that should get them in touch with their Oirat brothers, the Dzungars.

They also grab the pantheon belief that is Divine Adornment. It grants them Culture and Faith from Copper, Gems, Gold, and Silver. They must really be investing in Gucci, huh?

78: There are two things I hate most: Xenophobia and the Dutch

Down in South America, it seems that everyone wants to have a piece of the Amazon pie! New Holland, having mainly settled on the coast thus far, has a FIFTH AND SIXTH settler out and about. Tiwanaku has a fourth exploring the jungles. Rio Grande… Well, they’re hoping for expansion in a different way. Where is that army going? Who knows?

79: Beliefs, Part 4

Ah, the beliefs of Jodo Shinshu- they also get +5 Culture and +5 Culture from cities with more than 10 followers, in addition to their +2 Faith bonus from National and World Wonders. I don’t believe they’ve built any yet, so unfortunately that won’t be too helpful.

80: Mongolia Update

Mongolia Update!Mongolia’s still there. They’ve got their unique Caravan, the Ortogh, which provides Gold when starting on a trading post or customs house. They also allow for the faster construction of Roads and railroads. If it’s a golden age, ALL of these bonuses are doubled! Yay!

That’s all for Mongolia.

81: Ra-Ra-Rozvi

Rozvi is launching a large-scale attack on the capital of Eswatini, Mbabane! Could we be seeing the first capital capture before the end of this extremely long and overly complex episode? Mayhaps.

82: Borgerndy

Burgundy is attempting to reclaim their lost city of Autun. They only have one melee unit nearby, so the attempt will likely not go anywhere. However, one has to admire their moxie- perhaps they CAN take the city?

Well, probably not.

83: We’re Whalers on the Moon! We carry a Harpoon!

Oh dear, it looks like the Faroe Islands have breached containment. They’ve settled Iceland, Greenland, AND Scotland! They even have another settler in Greenland. Just where are these whaler boys going?

84: Gogurt

Ah, yes, Goguryeo. It seems they’ve beefed up their army just a bit, hopefully it should be able to withstand the giant mass of Nivkh Unique Units that are present up north. They also have a settler, confronting the giant Nivkh army, as if to laugh in the face of god.

You go, Goguryeo!

85: The Taos Emeralds!

Pueblo, whose southward expansion I’ve noted previously, now gets a closer inspection as we can see that their intimidating army is still very scary. They have another settler mixed in, so I doubt they’re going to make this easy for anyone else. Certainly, I could see this being the factor that allows the Pueblo to snowball.

By the way, Pueblo is a religious civ- which means, if they’re not able to get their own religion, they could be at a severe disadvantage!

86: Thule me Twice, Shame on Me

The Thule are back! Hey everyone, it’s the Thule!

They’ve got 4 cities, but none of them are especially populous. Still, this is a good sign for them, as it shows they’re expansive and are even capable of building a solid army in this run. Let’s hope the best for these… OTHER Harpoonlads.

87: I’m going to ignore the city captures up top

Shit.

So, I’m not going to lie- I’m a Zheng fangirl. Have been since the start.

The fact that Tran Thanh Tong, Koxinga’s greatest threat at the moment, has built the Statue of Zeus- a wonder that grants a sizable bonus to capturing cities- is a bad sign for me. That said, it seems they are still lacking a larger army.

88: Wow! A city capture? Who would’ve thunk?

For the eagle-eyed viewers, you may have noticed that Elista was captured last slide. Well, indeed it has- by Kazan, no less! The Kalmyks are now missing one of their precious settlements. This brings Kazan up to three cities.

Other news present on this slide is Makhnovia bringing a large army to fight the new Latvian settlement of Rezekne. This army is commanded by a lone settler, who perhaps seeks to expand Makhnovia up to three cities. Crazy thinking, am I right?

89: The Latvia Slide™

Latvia sits at 5 cities, but unfortunately, their newer settlements are rather undefended. Further, Makhnovia seems to be eying those new cities as part of the Makhnovist Expansion Project™ that totally exists and isn’t just something I made up on the spot.

By the way, I feel I should point out that Latvia’s core cities of Riga and Liepaja are actually at a really good size right now.

90: Kox Out

My boys!

Here we see Zheng, led by none other than Zheng Chenggong himself, Koxinga. Not only are Siming and Anping at a good size right now, it seems he’s actually built up a modest army- not enough to conquer, but if my concerns about Dai Viet are validated, then it could be enough to defend against them. That said, Anping is right on Dai Viet’s doorstep- if Dai Viet builds up, Anping would be in immense danger. Whoever strikes first will have the advantage in the future wars that’ll wreak havoc throughout this region.

91: Palawala

Palawa expands to a thriving 6 cities, with the new settlements of Kriwa, Nipaluna, and Niplin all sitting heartily on the Australian mainland. Further, Palawa has 2 settlers at their disposal. Tarenorer must be proud that her people have expanded out of Tasmania and into the great Australian expanse.

92: Flo Rida

Gregor MacGregor, seemingly to spite my jokes about him simply being a scam artist and not a true leader, now bumps his city count up to THREE! Took you long enough, buddy. That said, it does put him above Saba and the Finns, so good job buddy- you participated.

93: Kudarat wtf

Okay, it appears that Kudarat has decided to wonderwhore, as he’s built his second wonder of the game- the Pyramids. I believe the Pyramids are actually adjusted for JFD’s Worker Charges mod, but I’m not entirely sure what the details involve. That said, another aspect of this slide I want to draw attention to- Maguindanao has Spearmen! They could be planning an invasion in the short term, and I would have no idea, because this slide is zoomed all the way in to show off the wonderful Pyramid model.

94: We’re so Makh

Makhnovia, sensing the presence of Latvians nearby, sends a strong force to capture the nearby settlement of Rezekne. There are a lot of archers to whittle the city down, and a few warriors with which to capture it. However, we only have a few slides left to this episode, so odds are that the city will remain in Latvian hands for the remainder.

95: Buzzer Beater Burgundy

While we can see that Regensburg is now completely overwhelmed with Hungarian soldiers, our attention is brought elsewhere- Autun has been fully reclaimed by Burgundy! In fact, there are no Visigoth Warriors nearby with which they can capture the city, so Burgundy will hold onto Autun for the remainder of the episode, and likely for the foreseeable future! Hooray!

Oh, but don’t give the English any ideas.

96: Mbad news, mboys

Rozvi has utterly surrounded the city of Mbabane, and the capital begins to take damage! This could be the tremendous moment we’ve been waiting for- the first capital capture of the game. There are only two spearmen and an archer remaining to defend the Swazi capital.

In other news, Ndongo has settled the city of Kabasa far south. This city could be a huge battleground in the future, as it’s right next to the powerful Rozvi we see here.

97: Party Time

Vijayanagara decides to adopt the worship of the Goddess of Festivals! This pantheon belief grants a +1 Faith and +1 Culture bonus to Spices, Sugar, Truffles, and Wine. Which… yeah, sounds like a party to me! Let’s celebrate!

98: Rome is where the heart is

Rome settles the city of Antioch on the Northern side of Greece, and we get a closer look at Pontus! It appears that Pontus now fields some of their Unique Units, the Scythed Chariot- a Melee variant of the Chariot Archer that requires iron, has less movement, but a significant bonus to combat strength AND deals attrition damage to nearby enemy units. That’s… a lot. This could be a game-changer for Pontus if they’re able to make good use of it.

Also, holy cow, Cairo is at 12 points of Population.

99: Even old New York, was once Nieuw Amsterdam

New Holland continues on their endless quest for expansion, adding the recent settlement of Fort Schoonenborch into the mix! This marks the first city they’ve settled that is NOT adjacent to the coast, and thus will likely be safe from Naval invasion. Further, it has some healthy oranges to ward off scurvy. I mean, scurvy isn’t a feature in this game, but at least there’s oranges.

Tiwanaku continues exploring for a new settlement location, while the Rio Grande army continues to scatter throughout the Amazon.

100: The End

Finally, we return to the Dune reference. Fun fact: that slide took up a page and a half of dialogue! That’s too much. Coiot got mad at me for doing that :(

Anyways, the Alaouite army is big and scary. Their empire, however? Meknes has 7 citizens, sure, but Marrakech only has 2. They have a third settler at their disposal, but whether they’ll make good use of it remains to be seen. The Sierra Leonese settler continues to explore North Africa, as we finally reach the long-awaited conclusion to this narration!

Thank you so much for being patient with me, and I apologize for the one day delay- I injured my back on Tuesday and was a little behind on my writing already. That said, I had a lot of fun writing this episode, and I greatly appreciate all of you who actually decided to read this whole thing. This has been ExplosiveWatermelon, signing off. Cheers!

Episode 2: Lady Dracula – S4

Abstract

1: Re-Introductions

2: Kalmyk-Khoshuts Comparison

3: Pacific Pals

4: Beloved Donators

5: Generic PR slide

6: What Once Was

7: The Great Plain War

08: Carmilla

09: An Eye for an Eye

10: From Darkness, into the Light

11: Veni, Vidi, Visigoth

12: How to Fight Wars Good

13: Overgrowth

14: D’mt, Janet

15: An Odd Affair…

16: Swan Lake

17: Wait this isn’t Burma

18: Lisan al-Gaib

19: I Bless the Wars Down in Africa

20: Go Go Gadget Goguryeo

21: Prophet Song

22: Thule me once, shame on you

23: I see London, I see France!

24: What Will Be

25: Will the Real Maximilian I Please Stand Up?

26: Palawa World

27: Searching for Meaning

28: Lady Dracula

29: Killers of the Flower Moon

30: Caw

31: Call Me Mabey

32: Murphy’s Law

33: The Fox Woman

34: Lake Selenga

35: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

36: Let there be Light!

37: Starry, Starry Night

38: Vampire: the Masquerade

39: It’s so Makhnover

40: Barack Lobamba

43: Damghan shot first

44: Unfortunately, the English

45: Intermission

46: Wah-Lui-Gi

47: Ice, Ice, Baby

48: Florida Man

49: Autun Baby

50: Bae-varia

51: Mahayanarama

52: Finally, the narrative stops

53: Caw Caw

54: 99 Theses but a bitch ain’t one

55: No-AI-devuohta

56: Rice to Meet You

57: Beliefs, Part 1

58: Beliefs, Part 2

59: Moggers

60: Free town? Don’t mind if I do!

61: I’m sorry, Dijon

62: Harappa the Rapper

63: Fuck it, we ball

64: Hotel California

65: Everybody Hates Harappa

66: Here Comes the Sunni

67: Bye-varia

68: VisiGOATed

69: Beliefs, Part 3

70: World Map, Part 1

71: World Map, Part 2

72: World Map, Part 3

73: World Map, Part 4

74: Army of Lovers

75: Bat Manan

76: Icky Ikko

77: As Good as Gucci

78: There are two things I hate most: Xenophobia and the Dutch

79: Beliefs, Part 4

80: Mongolia Update