Civ Battle Royale September 03, 2024
Rhoze
The flames of war burn ever brighter in this week’s exciting episode of the CBRX Season 4.
Hello, all. I’m Rhoze, your narrator for this episode of the Civ Battle Royale. I’ve been a long-time watcher, but this is my first time annotating the glimpses of the cylinder for you all. I believe this part is the longest thus far in the season (in terms of slides, at least), so grab a snack and get comfortable. Now, shall we begin?
This week’s Pacific Pals shows the plight of Pueblo, the former top power being attacked on multiple fronts. Thanks as always to the glowing Orangechrisy for the OC!
Gregor MacGregor’s desire for profit was certainly a thing to see last time, as illustrated by this poster from the lustrous EmeraldRange.
Much appreciation as always to those that donate to see the royale keep running.
New to rank 1, Gwanggaeto of Goguryeo is pushing forward on fronts to both his west and east. How far can the momentum carry him, and will he prove his worthiness of the top spot?
The episode proper begins as we see a Palawa prophet on Sulawesi. His destination is perhaps Singapore, whose capital still lacks a majority religion. Tjukurpa, the Palawa religion, has already been established in another Singapore suburb of Tamontaka. In our world, Motoori Norinaga was an influential scholar who promoted ancient texts from Japan itself, as opposed to influences from the mainland. It is a touch ironic, then, that on the cylinder he finds himself proselytizing far from his homeland. The Zheng-Wahgi war rages right next to the defenseless prophet, as Wahgi units are creeping towards Lamitan.
We get some action already as among the usual irrelevant wars, there is an extremely relevant one. Makeda, tired of being told she’s sitting around wasting her golden age boosts, declares war on Kanem-Bornu, her troops already entering enemy borders. Saba-D’mt has a slight military advantage, as well as a clear tech advantage, but she might be outgunned on the frontlines. However, her production stat dwarfs Kanem’s, which should allow her to back up this first wave soon. The terrain around Ndjamena makes invasion tricky, but Minya is on the flat of the Sahara, and looks like the easiest target.
The King of Soul, the progenitor of funk, brings his tunes to the Malay peninsula. Inspired by the random mountain next to him that everyone agrees is Siamese property for some reason, his songs rally the many suburbs of Singapore in their ongoing fight against their western neighbours. We also see a fairly sizable Ikko-Ikki fleet trapped in Siamese waters.
When last we saw Hawai’i, Goguryeo had Cochiti in its grasp and was on the verge of taking Zia. That invasion seems to have evaporated, leaving only five boats to contend with quickly approaching Puebloan reinforcements from the mainland. That said, Goguryeo galleons outtech Pueblo carracks, so the fight certainly isn’t over yet.
MacGregor rejoices as the Taino take their turn moving into St. Augustine, expecting to take ever greater profits from his beachfront property. Unfortunately for him, something obviously went wrong in negotiations and Agueybana orders the city set ablaze. The immense happiness deficit that the Taino are in means that it looks set to go through, too. Seeing his condos going up in smoke, all MacGregor can think of is to throw himself, weeping, at the feet of the Seneca longswordsman camping on the outskirts of the city. “Please, save my profits!” he chokes out, his gaunt and tearstained face caked in ash, “You can’t let them burn it all!”. The longswordsman is thoroughly nonplussed, and plans to heal back to full health.
A new turn dawns, and Bukhara tires of Balkh being cut off from their other cities by some vicious Harappan citadelling, and war is declared. Unfortunately, those very citadels make any progress into Harappan territory extremely difficult, and the mountainous terrain certainly doesn’t help matters. Bukhara does at least seem to have open borders with the Afsharids, so they might be able to bring some units around that way for a flank attack.
In only a single turn since we last saw it, the defenses of Autun have been taken into the red by a barrage of English arrowfire. There is even a Chevauchee ready to swoop into the city as soon as it becomes weak enough. Maybe this will finally be a turning point in England’s long wars on the continent.
In a reversal of fortunes, not only does the assault on New Sarai disperse for now, not only does Xiaotun return to Mongolian hands, but even their attack in the north goes through, Varsed falling to Sorghaghtani. Goguryeo forces remain on the offensive however, notably stationing a trebuchet in range of New Sarai.
Mithridates, realising that his UA is much more powerful than described, feels a little bit guilty and decides to send only five units in the attack on Makhnovia. Even then, the anarchy on the bustling streets of Ekaterinoslav makes it a soft target for the top of the line Pontus galleons. Makhno, so used to spreading discontent among his enemies, is unprepared to have his own trick used against him, and can only field a few flagging crossbows to try to repel the invaders from the far shores of the Black Sea.
Vijayanagara’s luck has run out. Harappa has withdrawn open borders at some point, cutting the defenders of Mehrgarh off from reinforcements. Whittled down, we observe the Afsharids taking control of the city with little resistance, merely a single ship left to make a last-ditch effort at reclaiming it for the Vijayanagaran throne. This also scuppers the Singaporean navy in the area, also hoping to snipe it of Vijayanagara.
After being promised a beachfront condo of his very own, the Seneca longswordsman marches into St. Augustine and puts out the fires, much to the delight of a frazzled MacGregor. This comes at the same time as a Senecan strike force takes Kinngait. It looks likely to hold, with only a small Thule navy left, blocked from the harbour by a wandering scout. The Taino fleet stretches along the eastern seaboard, but strategic settling means tiles to attack from are few and far between. Another assault on St. Augustine might be possible, though. In other news, more civilizations declare war on Harappa, one of them very relevant and the other less so.
We get a shot of Tiwanaku, shrunken slightly from the coalition against it, but largely holding on. Their unit carpet is looking a touch thin, but it’s not egregious compared to Huyustus’ neighbours. They also field a lot of musketmen, which both New Holland and Ecuador lack. A well-placed Bora-Bora citadel also secures access to the western coast for Puni, although sadly there is not enough room to squeeze in another city. The most relevant part of this slide is on the sidebar: Vijayanagara, frustrated by the betrayal leading to the loss of Mehrgarh, joins the powers declaring on Harappa.
Also, Rijkuo-Maja, in her single allotted action per episode, builds a wonder.
Tiwanaku’s war with the Tehuelche takes the form of a measly swordsman being sent to die in the sea. Osei Tutu, sneaking back into the cylinder for a second chance at glory, decides to join the mighty Tehuelche nation on the frontline, sure in himself that he’s picked the strongest and most relevant contender to side with.
Krishnadevaraya makes his own luck, as that heroic ship brings Mehrgarh back into the fold for now, although without a well-timed peace it seems destined to fall again. We also see units from both Vijayanagara and the Khoshuts closing in on Lothal, which is barely defended (Vijayanagara has only a single melee unit, however).
A huge Zheng force closes in on Thang Long yet again, Koxinga desperate not to let the capital slip through his fingers. Merely a single Viet melee unit remains nearby, promising that gains made could be more permanent this time.
However, his desire to take Thang Long could come at the cost of a different capital, as Wahgi units stream toward both Simuay and T’Bok, Bol’im having secured open borders with Singapore. Zheng declared this war opportunistically, but the tide has truly turned now, and all of the former Maguindanao lands are in danger.
We get a nice shot of insular Bora-Bora, showing off their impressive navy. What’s slightly less nice is the report sent in by the ever-intrepid Ishtar from Palawa’s capital Mutawaynatji. The creeping influence of Tarenorerer is visible around the edges of the image, passing through Wahgi borders to open another potential front. The Palawa ships are slightly lacking in terms of tech compared to Bora-Bora’s however, and Bora-Bora also had the higher military score at the start of the episode. A naval invasion would be a hard fight.
The only reply Ishtar receives in return for her intelligence is an order to move to the other side of the continent. She sighs, packing her bags, and prepares to enter Noongar land.
The Kalmyks sign peace with Bukhara, making them one of the few states fully at peace. Unfortunately, said peace seems destined to be shattered sooner or later, as Ayuka’s units are at least an era behind those of everyone they border.
The incessant and ever-increasing bombardment from the English bows takes Autun to the black. Desperate for any kind of defence, Burgundy brings a great engineer, Maslama al-Majriti Tapputi, to the frontline. I’m struggling to find who this is in our world - Maslama al-Majriti was a mathematician and astronomer of Cordoba, but Tapputi was a perfumer and chemist from ancient Babylon.
Clearly the only logical conclusion is that something went wrong in the process of entering these two into the cylinder, fusing them into a single conflicted body. But one that was very good at building, thanks to their four arms.
Also, if Tapputi Maslama al-Majriti is expended for production, all it would take is a single step from one of the many nearby Chevauchée to wipe all that production away, obscuring that the engineer’s sacrifice ever happened at all. I find something deeply sad about that.
Goguryeo reverses the capture of Varsed. Now that we can see this front, though, it’s clear that Mongolia is committing a greater force than their opponent. With some speed, Sorghaghtani might be able to leave this war with a capture. On the other hand, Gwanggaeto’s forces are amassing near a thinly defended Otrar.
And here’s the other city capture we saw last slide. It turns out a few galleons is all Goguryeo needs to take both Cochiti again as well as another island on the Hawai’ian chain. Both players are wielding scant armies, so ultimate victory most likely will go to whoever can reinforce quickest - or whoever can leverage the best timed peace deal.
Five leaders around the world wake up today and decide they want a slice of Kanem-Bornu. The Alaouites will be hard pressed to reach them through Sierra Leone, but Rome is a potentially relevant foe. However the Roman army seems to be concentrated in the north fighting their other wars, so it remains to be seen whether Trajan can leverage this opportunity. For their part, any advance Saba-D’mt was attempting has dried up, and in fact the Kanem forces are entering the territory of their former city Nkongsamba. Despite the clear tech advantage, Kanem’s sheer numbers seem to have Makeda on the back foot in a war she declared. She needs to leverage that production difference, and fast.
Still unable to breach the Harappan citadels, Bukhara calls upon its unique Beg for aid. It strengthens nearby units when leaving friendly territory - and thanks to those very citadels, there isn’t exactly a lack of enemy land nearby. We’ll see if Bukhara can use this to make any progress though. I have to admit I’m doubtful.
Deciding that the Crow are stretched too thin by their war with the Thule, the Osage declare war to try and take nearby Chichuche. However they don’t have too many units committed, not to mention only three tiles to work with, between Pueblo and the great lakes. Strategos Pawhuska needs more than just strategy to make some gains here.
Trajan makes peace with Charles, deciding there is no headway to be made toward Nancy, and perhaps looking to bring his forces south. Rome really needs to aim for Ingolstadt if they hope to get any further in Europe.
Well. The deceptive power of even small numbers of galleons has come up a few times this episode, and Singapore’s navy sees an opportunity. There are no longer any Vijayanagaran units nearby, and Singapore isn’t at war with the Afsharids. Somehow, the victor of the Vijayanagara-Afsharid war for Mehrgarh is Singapore.
This is really pushing it if Lee Kuan Yew still wants to be considered a city-state.
The Strategos’ strategies have inspired someone who does have raw power. The Yellowknives, who have been rising the ranks, decide to prove it by making a play for the Crow. They’re not messing around - the greatest force, backed up by a citadel, is aimed straight at the Crow capital of Baaxawuaashé.
Thang Long falls once again to Zheng. Its HP remains low, and the Dai Viet Trebuchet and Longswordsman both still live, so there are almost certainly more flips in store. They are supported by Lampiao, a great general who in our world was a Brazilian bandit. Ironic that he loyally defends his sovereign to the last in the cylinder.
By some miracle, Autun stands, and it would take some work to clear a path for an English melee unit. Emboldened by this, Charles of Burgundy makes the very sane and rational move of declaring war on the Visigoths. The border is teeming with units that would like to see Asturica recaptured. I can’t see a way for Burgundy to escape unscathed anymore.
Indeed, the motley defenders of Thang Long retake it, saving its dwindling population for yet another turn. Koxinga must be desperate to be done with this front.
The sleeping giant of the Faroes finally makes another move. The inhabitants of Sydrugota are actually perfectly safe, a wall of ocean tiles preventing the Visigothic carracks from entering. Trondur’s real goal, despite the focus of this slide, is most likely the errant Visigothic colony in Ireland. If he wanted to, he could probably use his massive navy to take these Visigoth islands as well, but the troops are not yet in place.
Goguryeo’s turn, and New Sarai is in the black. Xiaotun isn’t too healthy either, but at least it has an army around it. New Sarai’s only defender is Thutmosis I, who finds himself very far from his homeland.
Latvia has been citadelling away at its south, claiming a healthy amount of new land (although not enough to fit a new city in). Their invasion of Nuremberg is also going healthily. Good work, Latvia.
Mogadishu is gaining their unique Uwassiye, a stronger caravel replacement that gives a variety of extra yields when adjacent to cities with trade routes. This makes them slightly stronger than the boats of the Qarmatians to their north, although fewer in number. They are also just inferior to the galleons that Mogadishu also has.
We can also see that Saba has sent a single Badan to attack Belgaum. Great job, Saba. You’ll get there eventually.
Ecuador recruits Buster Keaton, a famous comic actor of the silent film era, to try and boost morale. Unfortunately the cylinder hasn’t quite worked out what a ‘film’ is yet, so they’ve stuck a paintbrush in his hand and told him to draw the landscape of Panama instead.
The best word to describe the New Holland-Tiwanaku front is ‘tepid’. Both sides have a few units wandering into the other’s territory, but neither seem to actually be committing any real force. I’m almost tempted to say Bora-Bora has the strongest army in this image, and they’re hardly in it!
The semicircular republic of the Khoshuts takes centre stage, their army of knights closing in on Lothal. This will be a long siege, but Lothal is practically undefended. With the current units fielded, I can’t see Vijayanagara taking the city, only softening it up for the Khoshuts.
Side note, but we’ve been seeing several of Shang’s cities leave their perpetual resistance lately. Could a resurgence be in the cards?
In perhaps the most exciting front we’ve seen all episode, an incomprehensibly powerful force consisting of two Mogadishiwi boats clashes with the equally mind-boggling power of the Ndongo navy for control of the ultimate prize - Nhlagano.
Toning down the sarcasm a bit, Mogadishu does have a few more boats on the way, including galleons, which compare favourably to Ndongo’s carracks. If there’s anything we’ve learned this episode, it’s not to underestimate the capabilities of a couple of galleons.
The Taino are stocking up a large collection of caciques, their unique great general. Unfortunately, they gain no benefit from doing this, as all a cacique does is increase the empire’s culture and faith upon being born. Citadel someone!
MacGregor saunters into St. Augustine, eager to survey the state of his condos and work out who he can sell them to next. Unfortunately, by the time he gets there, someone else - presumably the Taino - has torched the remnants of the city to the ground. Refusing to believe his eyes, the destitute scammer wanders, a broken man, around the charred corpses of his dreams, limply placing poster after poster advertising “Your dream beachfront property!” on the blasted remains of walls. The Seneca longswordsman, having gained a strange kind of affection for MacGregor over the past few years, sheds a solitary tear.
Some inconvenient borders mean that Damanhur was hard for Kanem-Bornu to reinforce until the actual outbreak of war, and it is already surrounded by Rome. However, if this invasion force fails, Rome will be hard-pressed to find more troops quickly enough, while Kanem backup can already be seen.
What looks like a refugee Rozvi settler wanders the war-torn sahara, hoping to find a new place to call home.
The thrust at Baaxawuaashé might not be seeing any gains, but poor Bahkisee, tossed around between so many powers before, is under threat yet again. Joe Medicine Crow isn’t going to give it up without a fight, but the odds are stacked against him, with a severe tech gap. We can also see the Osage spilling into Crow lands, but with only knights I can’t see a city falling any time soon.
The Nivkh navy has surrounded Iglulik, and the main body of Thule reinforcements is blocked from reaching it by more Nivkh ships. With some luck, Umu could pull off another unlikely capture. What he needs more than luck, though, is open borders with Goguryeo. That would allow them to bring an impressive navy, currently trapped behind Bakjak, to the frontlines.
Not one to be discouraged by the setbacks he’s faced, Krishnadevaraya musters a force and captures Chanthaburi, across the bay of Bengal. Lee Kuan Yew appears to have deemed the sheer power of James Brown enough to defend the city. He was wrong. Vijayanagaran forces are also making an attack on Kalibangan, although there are a few too many embarked units to get anywhere soon.
The Wahgi forces have consolidated around Simuay, bringing it to half health. I don’t know what Koxinga could do to save the city.
Closer to the Wahgi heartland (still populated by rebels), we can see a great merchant looking for a good place to make a profit. In our world, Sarah Breedlove, a.k.a. Madam C.J. Walker, was perhaps the first self-made millionaire woman in America.
Thang Long is in the black once again, Zheng enlisting the help of Zhu De, a major figure in the CCP’s rise to power. Koxinga really needs this front to be done with if he wants any hope of saving any of former Maguindanao.
We take a short break from the action to admire the spread of religions across the cylinder. Only a few areas remain uncommitted to any religion, notably the irish, british, icelandic and greenlandic isles of the north atlantic. Romania, Tehuelche, north india and the Taymyr are other large irreligious areas. According to the stats sheet, Ikko-Ikki’s Jodo Shinshu is (or was at the start of the episode) the largest religion, whether in terms of cities or population.
It finally happens. After far too many years, a Chevauchée rides triumphant into Autun. Burgundy still controls a melee unit in range of the city though, so Henry shouldn’t get too comfortable yet. With two Burgundian cities under his sway, the passive damage from England’s UA is now enough to almost completely counter the natural healing in the rest of Charles’ empire.
We get a view of the other front of the Faroes-Visigoths war. A large navy is moving in on Hispalis, although I believe the city has only 1 sea tile to be attacked from. Trondur is going to want to move some of those land units in if he wants to take the city by force.
New Sarai falls. Xiaotun is, at least, out of the firing line, but the much more valuable Otrar has Goguryeo siege units moving into position around it. She’s put up a good fight, but Sorghaghtani’s future looks bleak.
Goguryeo also enters the Industrial era with, presumably, Scientific Theory, promising to boost their already first-place science even higher.
In a stunning reversal, Nkongsamba is surrounded and taking damage. Makeda evidently doesn’t feel the need to train more units, or even to bring her existing ones to the frontline, seemingly content to lose a city in a war she declared. Truly mystifying.
As expected, the Mogadishiwi ships around the cape have gotten nowhere. Ndongo bolsters its command with Jan Karol Chodkiewizc, a prominent commander of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. He sends a few units to surround the eSwatini capital, but more will be needed to actually take anything. For their part, eSwatini has half their army embarked for some reason.
A close-up of the previous slide focuses on another errant Rozvi settler. This one, however, is trapped by foreign borders for the foreseeable future.
Pleased with the job his five units are doing, Mithridates sends a worker to cheer them on. Terrified by the single worker, a large amount of the Makhnovian army appears to be migrating north for some reason. Maybe they’ve already given up on the Makhnovian homeland, and are preparing to resettle in Alexandrovsk.
Lothal’s health drops a little more, still practically undefended. The Khoshuts still have far more melee units in the vicinity, but Vijayanagara now has one. Eventual control of Lothal is still up in the air, if Krishnadevaraya is lucky enough. To the north, Bukhara has managed to pillage one of those pesky citadels, and a few Bukharan and Khoshut units are beginning to enter the land around Ganeriwala.
Nearby Sarah Breedlove, another great merchant hangs out in the pacific. Ted Turner, founder of America’s CNN in our world, is currently trying to sell locals in Ambang on “Newspapers, but they move!”. They’re taking bets on how long he takes to leave and turn into a customs house somewhere else. Off in the corner, we can see some Zheng ships still making an attempt on Baiyer. Koxinga should probably be focusing on defence at this point.
The cities of Hawai’i continue to flip back and forth, most citizens killed or fled. Right now, Pueblo seems to be back on the offensive, with only two Goguryeo military units at the front. What Pueblo is lacking is melee units, with only one to be seen.
A few things to see in this shot. The Faroes have a lot of units on this side of the world (a lot of them the ever-present Grindadraps though), which they might want to ship over to their active war. Kinngait and Chenussio continue to take light damage from Taino raiders. At this moment, Kinngait is protected by a New Dutch peacekeeper, and I wouldn’t be too surprised to see it flip once the peacekeeper moves, given its low health and the power of galleons. Finally, the Crow continue to feebly attack Pituffik, rather than focus on the existential threat back home.
The Nivkh blockade is working, Iglulik falling to half health with the Beaufort Sea fleet blocked off. Rather than reinforce her own city, Javraganak prefers to attack Honsho-Ji, which is also at half health. Fitting for her vengeant personality.
A nice shot of the split corpse of Kazakhstan, strung along the spine of the Urals. Semey has been viciously citadelled, and is one of only a few Kazan cities to lie east of the Urals, which would make it easy pickings in the event the Selkups wanted to attack. On the topic of easy pickings, Pavlodar would also be simple for the Selkups to take.
Bahkisee falls into the red. With severe number and tech deficiencies, Joe Medicine Crow cannot save it again. Meanwhile, Pawhuska sends his knights swimming so that they’ll be easier targets.
Thang Long is back in Zheng hands, and the Viet capital moves back to Bac Giang. The poor administrators must be tired of having to go back and forth. Leading a few Zheng ships south is Zinovy Rozhestvensky, a Russian admiral known for bringing a fleet around the world, killing some random civilians, and losing disastrously to Japan. Koxinga really knows how to pick ‘em.
That one melee unit does it, putting Autun back in Burgundy’s hands for now. The city is still flimsy, but Henry’s few melee units have moved away.
Saba-D’mt has really bungled this one. Nkongsamba falls to the yellow, surrounded by a technologically inferior Kanem-Bornu force. Makeda could back her city up, but chooses not to. Emboldened by the success against Saba, Kanem troops are also advancing on Mansoura, but that one seems less likely to fall. Nothing is impossible at this point, though.
Ignoring for now that titillating text at the top of the screen, we look at the very north of Kazan. Not wanting to let the rump out of his sight, Moxammadamin has built a complex of citadels and forts on the endless snow. Banished to Novaya Zemlya, Nursultan tries to entertain himself by having a great artist go paint on a boat. All he gets is a bout of seasickness.
We turn our attention to the alert, where Latvia has broken through Nuremberg’s defences, creating a new end to the Latvian curve. Bavaria still controls a host of catapults and a few melee units nearby, so there may be a few flips in order.
Ah, here we see the reason for the Osage’s questionable moves during this war. Scrooge McDuck, fleeing as far away from the warfront as possible with some personal guards, is advising Pawhuska to save as much gold as possible. He’ll sell the Strategos on the idea of building a swimming pool made of money in Genundowa soon.
James Brown flees back toward the centre of the city, alerting Singaporean troops to the incursion in Chanthaburi. The navy quickly retakes control of the suburb, but Vijayanagara is not ready to give up on it either. Overall, Singapore has the stronger navy in this image, though, so they seem likely to be the ultimate victor.
Oh dear. It looks like the end has come for Harappa. The Afsharids declare war, meaning Went-Antu is now at war with all his relevant neighbours, and most of his irrelevant ones too. The capital itself is immediately in danger. I don’t think Harappa is coming out of this one in one piece.
With Mehrgarh no longer in contention and united against a common foe, Krishnadevaraya and Nader Shah make peace, and look towards their new target.
Goguryeo finally realises that there’s a Pueblo target much closer to home, and a large fleet descends upon the two defenders of Kha’po Owingeh in a two-pronged assault. Unlike Hawai’i, I don’t think there’s any saving this city.
In another underdog undertaking, Iglulik falls to the Nivkh. However, it comes at the cost of the Beaufort blockade, and a string of Thule ships are free to join the fight. The Nivkh fleet is looking decidedly thin, and without a way to pass through Bakjak, Umu will be in trouble in the end.
Gregor MacGregor never left the ruins of St. Augustine. His raw grief eventually flowed through into acceptance. Accompanied by the Seneca longswordsman, he appreciated the beachfront vista not as a vehicle to profit, but for the pure beauty it held. Slowly, day by day, the two clear away the ashes, put brick onto brick and build something new. Eventually, a few ragged settlers come back to the site, where MacGregor welcomes them, not as customers, but as friends. St. Augustine rises from the ashes, new life breathed into the dead city. However, the Seneca longswordsman knows he can’t stay here forever. One day, MacGregor rises to find only a tear-stained letter on their table, only the steel glinting in the morning sun across the bay to show where the longswordsman has gone.
Simuay falls to the Wahgi, and their sprawling forces show no signs of stopping there. A lone Tie Ren remains on Mindanao, but it can do nothing but delay the inevitable. Lamitan and T’bok are the softest targets for Bol’im to go after next, cut off as they are now from the rest of Zheng.
Bahkisee falls back into the hands of its first captor, and looks set to stay there this time. Only a paltry force remains to defend the rest of the Crow possessions, not even focusing on the capital. It might take some time, but Akaitcho could take this all they way if he wanted.
Yagan learns about the survival of Rozvi settlers, and is incensed. Ever desirous of cleanliness, he thinks you should kill someone properly or not at all. Throwing out his plans for war with the Palawa or Singapore, the entire Noongar military gears up to hunt the length and breadth of Africa for any remnant stains in the Rozvi colour, and wipe them out once and for all.
More than a little scared of staying in Noongar lands after learning of the king’s unhinged plans, Recruit Ishtar scrambles to make an exit, fleeing to distant Tarbagatai, in the Dzungar kingdom.
We take another break, this time to study the political map of the world. We can note that it looks like Chanthaburi is back under Vijayanagaran control, and that Simuay has flipped back to Zheng.
And time for a more depressing (or exciting, your choice) graphic, telling us that only five civilizations are at peace. Florida, the Palawa, Kazan, the Kalmyks, and Ikko-Ikki (meaning they peaced out with Shang at some point). The rest of the cylinder rages with conflict and stinks of death.
This image is eerily similar to the one from a few turns ago, down to the placement of a Burgundian swordsman able to retake the city. Hoping his expertise will help the offensive, Henry brings the great merchant Howqua toward the front. In our world, he was a Chinese merchant who at one point was the richest person in the world. Perhaps such economic pedigree will intimidate Burgundy?
Trondur is indeed having difficulty attacking Hispalis. Despite this, he still refuses to move any large land force to Ireland.
To be honest, knowing the AI, Leovigild will give up Hispalis at the end of the war whether Trondur can reach it or not.
In the chilly north of Kazan, the legendary Cao Cao wanders near Yelbuga. The desolate scenery inspires a poem in the absence of a war to fight, having found himself in one of the few peace-struck nations.
Despite eSwatini parking most of its land units in the sea, Ndongo fails to make any progress and makes peace. Labotsibeni Mdluli makes it through another war.
Kanem-Bornu brings the inestimable Martin Luther King Jr. to the front. A sign that the citizens of Nkongsamba, long living under the Saba-D’mt yoke, will soon be free?
Having made peace with one mediterranean foe, Trajan decides he needs another, declaring war on the Visigoths. With the awkward harbour at Narbo, a city capture seems unlikely. This is more an excuse for the two to throw carracks at each other.
Bahkisee is back in Crow hands for now. Their overall situation has not improved, however. They do, at least, seem to have pulled out of Pituffik to focus on more relevant ground. In more bad news for Joe Medicine Crow, the Osage are starting to actually use their open borders with Pueblo to advance a much larger force.
Things only get worse for Zheng as Kennyo, deciding he’s tired of peace already, declares war, bringing the followers of Jodo Shinshu with him. The Nivkh are irrelevant, but Gwanggaeto could certainly bring his fleet south after finishing with Kha’po Owingeh, which we can see is down to the red in the corner. The Ikko-Ikki themselves have a fairly large force advancing on Chaozhou, albeit one composed mostly of embarked units. They’ll need something a bit more potent to make any ground there. If Kennyo wanted to focus on the land front though, Wenzhou is barely defended.
Lothal falls, ending up as a prize for the Khoshuts, as was more likely. The race for the capital is in full force, with both Afsharid and Khoshut units besieging the city. Gushi Khan also has a trebuchet in position around Ganeriwala, so he may be able to take that, too. Vijayanagara could make a play for Mohenjo-Daro, but looks likely to come out of this war with nothing, sadly.
We get a shot showing off the trapped Nivkh navy. This fleet could do some real work on the Thule front if it was released, but alas. Without any backup, we can see that Iglulik is back in the red, a sign of returning Thule dominance over the Bering Sea.
A shot of Korea and Japan lets us see a fairly large Goguryeo fleet in the strait, which could be aimed at Pueblo or Zheng. With a clearer look, Kha’po Owingeh is certainly doomed. Highlighted is the great merchant George Dayton, who in our world founded the entity that would eventually become American supermarket Target.. He tries to sell the inhabitants of Negoro-Ji on just going to a single store for all their needs, but the single-minded population isn’t desperate for convenience yet.
Before you say nothing has changed, this is still the same turn as the last time we saw this front. The Visigoths have moved by now, putting some damage onto Asturica. We also have Hieronymous Bosch highlighted for us, the collapse of his patron nation inspiring some bleak paintings.
As mentioned, that lone tie ren has taken Simuay back for Zheng. It’s still surrounded. The Zheng army is beginning to trickle south, making taking Kuta Watu or any further north hard for Bol’im. Although this trickle south is obviously just in time to come under attack from the north. Off to the west, a decent Zheng navy still hasn’t figured out that Bac Giang is inland.
The might of the Tehuelche armed forces makes an attack on Pampa Koani, cut off as it is from the rest of the Tiwanaku holdings. Unfortunately, the great Tehuelche army isn’t enough to make a dent even in this.
As a new turn rolls around, Charles gives up on Autun, leaving it permanently in English hands. In a snub to the Visigoths, as if they weren’t already being invaded by the number 1 threat on the cylinder, Asturica is also handed over to England. Henry has finally managed to take a win and hold it.
Kha’po Owingeh falls to Goguryeo, with no hope of relief in sight. This also gives Goguryeo a thin strip of land across Honshu. They don’t need it currently, having open borders with Ikko-Ikki, but it might come in handy later. We can also see that several more ships are arriving at Tamaya, ready to continue the conquest of Hawai’i.
Nkongsamba is down to the red. Idris Alawma proves you don’t need technological superiority if you have overwhelming numbers (and your opponent doesn’t fight). Off to the north, the respective attacks on Damanhur and Mansoura have dried up.
Somehow, New Sarai is back in Mongolian hands, and the attack on Otrar went nowhere. Gwanggaeto is back to having no gains in this war. Ironically, he’s having a much easier time attacking rank 13 than rank 27.
Incensed by the death of their cheerleading worker, the five Pontus units move into Ekaterinoslav. This in addition to the Latvian citadels cuts Kassa off from the rest of Makhnovia, a potentially easy target. The Makhnovian army has almost completed its migration to Alexandrovsk, despite Strategos Makhno’s pleas. The soldiers remind him that under anarchy, they are just as important as him, and should be free to fight, or not, as they wish.
Sierra Leone has been quiet this episode, needing to rebuild its scattered army. Boosting morale is the great musician Francois Couperin, who in our world was a French composer.
Chanthaburi flips back to Singapore. A Singaporean army is also on the way to southern Vijayanagara. Krishnadevaraya was able to reduce Kalibangan to half health, but the assault has evaporated. All told, it seems as if the Vijayanagaran time in the sun is becoming overshadowed by the urban sprawl of Singapore.
The nations of the world, hearing that Dai Viet is down to one city and under siege, declare wars hoping to get a piece of the dying civilization. None of them will be able to reach it. In fact, the only other power that could even try to reach Bac Giang is Siam, which seems content to let Zheng have it. Zheng, for its part, is finally realising that land forces are needed for Bac Giang, so its days seem numbered.
With its navy slowly being extinguished, and no reinforcements in sight, the Nivkh lose both Iglulik and Honsho-Ji. Both cities are still in the red, so some flipping is in order, but with the larger Thule army moving to the front, Umu needs to exit this war soon to prevent any more losses.
Nkongsamba returns to its founder. The Prophet Nagarjuna, in Saba-D’mt’s well-covered core, suggests that Makeda doesn’t think about training units, and should instead spend more time reaching nirvana.
I don’t think Kanem can press any further, but they still vastly overperformed considering Makeda was the aggressor here. To the north, the Kanem-Rome front closes silently.
Never mind, Thomas Peters decides his army is good enough right now, and declares a war to clean up the remains of the Alaouites. He holds a hefty tech advantage if not necessarily a numbers one, and Ismail’s domain is split in half by Visigothic citadels. We’ll see how it goes, but there is certainly the potential for the Alaouite run to end here.
Bahkisee is solidly Yellowknives territory now, and both Baaxawuaashé and Chichuche have begun to take damage from their respective aggressors. It looks like the end is closing in for Joe Medicine Crow.
Chaozhou takes chip damage, but Kennyo is still trying to invade with embarked ranged units, so as it stands this is going nowhere. The delay has also let Koxinga reinforce Wenzhou. The Goguryeo fleet still lurks to the north, Gwanggaeto still undecided about whether to commit to this war he was dragged into.
Iglulik and Honsho-Ji do indeed flip, but the war is not over yet. Umu is deep in negotiations with Gwanggaeto, looking for just one thing - open borders.
Ogedei Khan leads the defense of Pampa Koani from a terrifying Tehuelche invasion, portraying himself as the only thing between the city and checks notes two (2) units. He’s here on a break from leading his own Mongolia, finding beating down the Tehuelche way easier.
Now that England owns the Visigoth-founded Asturica, the rest of the Visigothic cities will take damage per turn for as long as Asturica has a unit. This doesn’t even help England, who aren’t at war with them, only softening them up for their other invaders.
Ah, there’s the navy that Ikko-Ikki isn’t using at Chaozhou. Changhua is already in the black, and Guangzhou has taken damage too. If resistance is eliminated, these cities will be hard for Koxinga to reinforce, and seem likely to fall.
Harappa’s capital, Harappa, falls to the yellow. Its defenders gone, the city will fall. But whether to the Khoshuts or the Afsharids seems to be a coinflip. Ganeriwala and Mohenjo-Daro are both also under threat. This may well be where Went-Antu’s story ends.
To the top we see that Iglulik and Honsho-Ji continue to flip. To the south, not only does Vijayanagara have a melee unit approaching the weak Mehrgarh, but Qarmatian ships have flooded the harbour, cutting it off from further Singapore reinforcement. Maybe the final owner of Mehrgarh will be Krishnadevaraya after all?
Having been convinced by his advisors that the Rozvi hunt is a really bad idea, Yagan declares war on a much more reachable target - Singapore. A Noongar fleet advances on the thinly-defended suburb of Little India, with Tamontaka also looking vulnerable. With Lee Kuan Yew concentrated on his far west, this has the potential to take a serious chunk out of the extended city-state. However, Singapore is beginning to train ships-of-the-line, the next generation of naval superiority, so it might not be as simple as Yagan hopes.
Speaking of their other invaders, nothing is happening on the Sydrugota front. The Visigothic ships (bar a lone caravel) unable to cross the thin line of ocean, and the Faroese ones unwilling to brave the greater numbers of their foes.
With Simuay back under his sway, Bol’im quickly takes Lamitan, T’bok seeming likely to be next. Kuta Watu is also taking damage, but with Zheng forces actually defending it, it’ll take a while to be worn down. To the west, Bac Giang is also taking damage.
From the Dzungar metropolis of Tarbagatai, Ishtar uncovers intelligence suggesting Galdan is preparing for an invasion targeting Bukhara. The terrain is mountainous, but Bukhara is so thin and bedraggled that an attack might work out anyway.
Ishtar is reassigned to the coast, preparing to make the Himalayan trek to Siam’s Phra Nakhon.
And that’s all for this week’s episode. There are certainly a lot of active wars to keep an eye on, and I’ll be doing so from the audience with the rest of you. See you next time!