Episode 26: Smoke in the Countryside and Debris in the Ocean; Everyone hates White-and-Green Civs

1: Welc bacc to the best AI game of the internet

Hello there, laddies, lasses and lassoes, and welcome back to another exciting episode of the Civ Battle Royale X Season 4. Your narrator for today is BV, or Boki, whichever you prefer to refer to me by, and by the time I’m writing this slide, I had just received my bachelor’s degree for history just the previous day. Am also planning to relaunch my yt channel soon. Enough about me though. All of you, dear readers, smell absolutely amazing today, and don’t let anyone else, even yourself, tell you otherwise. Anyways, let’s get to the other intro slides before this gets even more… whatever the mood of this slide is. *laughs mostly genuinely, with just a tiny hint of awkwardness*

2: Map

Here’s the Episode 25 map, made by the amazing Sonicfan0511. Thank you for always making such amazing maps. Also, everyone should stay wary of ‘Ohio. Thankfully, that accursed city makes no appearance this episode.

3: Bora-bora. Bora. Boraborabora.

Our OC of the week is yet another installment of Orange/Kit’s ongoing civball comic series, Pacific Pals. In this installment, we focus on Bora-Bora, the best Pacific Island civ we’ve had in any royale thus far. They’re so good, Puni is confident they’ll be able to take on Tiwanaku and Palawa simultaneously. Will he be proven right or wrong this episode? Read (or watch/listen if you’re on the audio-narration) to find out.

4: Danke schön

Thank you to all of our Ko-Fi donors for making past seasons, this season and hopefully future seasons possible

5: Power Rankings

Goguryeo retains the number 1 spot in the power rankings this week, but our focus is on an entirely different civ. Bora-Bora jumps up 4 spots to reach 6th place, a new record for our Pacific pirates. Boraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraborabora…

Anyway, without any further delay, into the action we go!

6: BORABORABORABORABORABORA

In our first action slide of the episode, what action there is.

Bora-Bora had just captured Ichabamba, though the city is very easily flippable, due to nearby Tiwanaku units and extremely low health.

Over south, Bora-Bora has also started dealing damage to Alegrete. A substantial Tiwanaku force has come to defend it, but it’s both outnumbered and outteched by the Bora-Borans.

Up north, Ecuador appears to be charging ineffectively at Lukurmata and Ojjo.

Just like last time, Bora-Bora is the more competent contributor to an anti-Tiwanaku coalition. Who woulda thunk. And, I remind you, Bora-Bora is actively making things harder for themselves by going to war with Palawa simultaneously. And they’re still at an advantage. C’mon Bora-Bora. Earn your spot as my new fav civ.

7: Aotearoan waves

Over in Aotearoa and Antarctica, the Bora-Boran naval raiding squadron seems to have mostly been defeated by the Palawans. They have put a serious dent in the Tiwanaku colony of Wariwillca. Maybe if they send more ships, they might capture it?

08: It may not look like it, but there’s several wars on this slide

The Visigoths have weathered the Anglo-Faroese storm last episode, having retaken Reccopolis late in said episode. Currently, a sizable Anglo-Faroese fleet is sailing the coast of Callaecia, while Reccopolis seems mostly secure for the moment. The local Visigothic fleet should not let their guard down tho, there’s some stray Faroese vessels not that far away.

The Alaouites, meanwhile, are still reeling from the Kanembu takeover of Marrakech, which, as someone who likes both Kanem-Bornu and Sierra Leone, I have highly mixed feelings about. Like, the pro-KB part of me is like “lol. lmao even.”, while the pro-SL part of me is like “well that was humiliating”. But yeah, a few Sierra Leonean units seem to be preparing an advance on the yet undamaged Meknes. The Alaouites have invested in a wall of crossbowmen and, to a lesser extent, pikemen (half of whom have decided to go swim in the Atlantic instead of holding ground) to defend the capital, and even seem to have paid the Visigoths to send a musketman to block a tile to make any Sierra Leonean approach even more challenging.

Meanwhile, the Taíno great prophet Vallabha has arrived off the coast of Portucale to spread the good word of Catholicism to this new land. The locals, adherents of Fat Roog, don’t appreciate the gesture.

History dropdown

IRL, Vallabha was a late 15th-early 16th century Indian saint and philosopher who belonged to the Krishna-centered Pushtimarga sect of Vaishnavism active in what are now parts of the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. He was also a member of the Bhakti movement, which was a reformist Hindu movement that started about a millennium earlier in the southern tip of India and spread slowly northwards throughout the medieval age from there. They believed that adopting a new method of devotion would bring about salvation to all strata of society. They were also some of the least casteist movements in Hinduism of the time. It’s believed that the Hindu Bhakti movement, along with Islamic Sufi orders, played a role in influencing early Sikhism too.

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09: Cold waters

The Faroese core, covered by many a Grindadráp, a decent amount of military vessels, and only a few land units, lays before us. Eastern Iceland is still home to a cuirassier revolt. In nearby Norđragøta, Canaletto is painting the local cityscape, but in the background loom pillars of smoke, a testament to the revolt’s damage on the local countryside’s infrastructure.

History dropdown

IRL, Canaletto was an 18th century Venetian painter, who usually painted vedute, or cityscapes, but occasionally also painted capricci, or imaginary works. Some of his most famous works are the vedutes he did of Venice, Rome and London.

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10: Upper Asian Chaos

Over in Upper Asia, chaos reigns. Shang had just retook Old Sarai, and a squadron of knights had rode as far away as the gates of Karakorum itself. Their pikemen comrades are currently engaged in a clash with a nearby force of Mongolian musketmen, and are having the worse of it. Overall, it seems Shang retains the initiative on this front, but it is an unstable one. Mongolia has the better tech here, and it’s only through sheer force of numbers that Shang remains in advantage here. If any of Shang’s neighbours declared on Daji now, then worst case scenario for Mongolia would be that it evens the scales on their front.

On the edges of the slide, Mongolia is still desperately trying to hold onto Hsia, but the Selkups seem like they’ve almost brought down the city enough to capture it. I wouldn’t count on them keeping it though. The Mongols have a high concentration of units in the north, and the Dzungars near Hami and Manas look hungry.

Speaking of the Dzungars, their own forces have just started dealing damage to the Selkup city of Al’myak. The city is currently holding well, but if the Dzungars maintain the pressure, the city is as good as theirs - with only an explorer and a settler to defend the city, Al’myak is doomed.

11: Given which region of Africa we’re in now, it took all my self-restraint to stop me from making a lewd joke

Saba-D’mt DOW’d the Nivkh, giving us an excuse to look at their empire.

Less impressive than I would’ve expected tbh. Not a whole lot of units, but those they do have, at least on land, seem mostly up to date. They really gotta upgrade those ships pronto tho. Caravels simply aren’t gonna cut it at this point.

To boost morale through religious conviction, great prophet Quanah Parker came to proselytize to a unit of skirmishers.

History dropdown

Quanah Parker was a member of the Kwahadi band of the Comanche in the mid-late 19th and early 20th century, and also the founder of the Native American Church, a syncretic Christian denomination. Because of the peyote cactus’ central position in NAC theology and rituals, it’s also been nicknamed the Peyote Religion or Peyotism, which was featured in the previous CBRX season, founded by, who else, but Quanah’s home people, the Comanche. Peyote contains a psychedelic drug called mescaline, which apparently gives very spiritualistic trips. It’s only allowed in sanctioned ceremonies, though, no recreational use. NAC theology features a bunch of spirits, and one of the most revered spirits is the Peyote Spirit. Members of the NAC disagree over whether the Peyote Spirit is God’s representative to the Native Americans the same way Jesus is God’s representative to the Old World peoples and their diasporas, or if the Peyote Spirit is Jesus Christ himself. Given a quote Quanah Parker himself gave “The white man goes to church and talks about Jesus. The Indian goes to his tent and talks to Jesus.”, I’m inclined to believe that he would probably agree with the latter interpretation of the theology.

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12: A flood in green Siberia

Glossing over the irrelevant peace deals the Finns had with Siam and Sierra Leone, we pan back to Upper Asia, where a veritable flood of Dzungar units has descended on southern Selkup territory. Al’myak is completely surrounded, and Dzungar units have crossed lake Balkhash to drive a wedge between Kargasok and the former Kazakhstani capital of Astana. The southernmost part of the front sees a smaller number of Dzungar units coming through, tho, so the advance on Astana and Almaty from that direction is significantly slower. With the Selkups overfocused on Mongolia as they are, there’s not much to defend against the Dzungar tidal wave.

13: Indo-Gangetic plain

The Khoshuts DOW’ing Nivkh and being DOW’d by Goguryeo in turn gives us an excuse to look at them and… they’re looking much more sparse than before the Vijayanagara war tbh.

14: Cold-burn, baby, cold-burn

The Noongar are descending with a large, mostly cuirassier force on Nipaluna, dropping the last remaining mainland inland Palawan city to under-half health. Palawa should probably be bringing in more reinforcements. Even if these cuirassiers all die in the attempt, they’re doubtlessly gonna soften the approach for upcoming units, and I don’t think Nipaluna can survive more than one attack on this scale without reinforcements.

Over north, another Noongar cuirassier is killing himself by means of Laylatiya.

Even further north, some Palawan chips in Wahgi waters seem to be engaging in a shooting contest with their Noongar counterparts near Boyagin.

15: Selkup riders

A barely alive lancer marches into the battered Mongol city of Hsia. He’s only gonna die here, but he’s dying for the glory of his homeland, he believes. When asking some of his skirmisher comrades about the general situation at the Hsia front, he’s told the city has almost no health left, but that the Mongols are unable to capture the city due to a combination of terrain difficulties and their own ranged and siege units blocking any melee units from attacking. Even a Mongol lancer and the small Dzungar force at Manas and Hami aren’t an immediate threat, being blocked off by an army of lancers, skewbald riders, skirmishers and lake-embarked line infantry.

Further north, a Selkup army of cannons, skirmishers, musketmen and line infantry is entering the gap south of Sanchu and Varz Kara, advancing towards Tiflis.

Also, I’m not aware of the Khoshuts being at war with either the Dzungars or the Selkups. Why is their scout near Narym damaged?

16: Swift Strike

Over on what I assume to be the Delmarva peninsula, we see the Seneca have obtained their UU, the Swift Strike Warband. This unit replaces the musketman. Damaging an enemy unit causes adjacent enemy units to lose 10% of their combat strength for the rest of the turn. It can also move after attacking, and gains +1 movement when near enemy units.

Right nextdoor, St. Augustine is being blockaded and presumably bombarded by the Taíno navy.

17: Hawaii

Here we see the Hawaiian islands in all their glory. Tamaya, Nambe Owingeh and Cochiti are under Goguryeo. Zia and Abiquiú are under the Pueblo. Shoman-ji is under the Ikko-Ikki. Floating just northeast of the archipelago is the Goguryeo great musician band R.E.M.

History dropdown

R.E.M. is an alternative rock band from the US that was active from 1980 to 2011, making a brief return in 2024. Some of their more known works include but aren’t limited to their first single, Radio Free Europe, the extended play Chronic Town, their debut album Murmur, and the albums that came every year after that one, Reckoning, Fables of the Reconstruction, Lifes Rich Pageant, Document and Green, the single The One I Love, and, of course, their two most commercially successful albums, Out of Time and Automatic for the People, among many other, later ones.

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18: Papuan waves

Over on this slide, we see the Wahgi mostly chilling. Their armed forces seem pretty sparse at the moment, safe for the large concentration around Korn, but don’t let that fool you. They’re currently fielding some of the most advanced units on the cylinder, like that cavalry. Painting the large concentration of units are two great artists, one of them Rose-Adelaide Ducreux.

History dropdown

Rose-Adelaide Ducreux was a late 18th century French painter and musician. Some of her paint works were displayed at the Louvre Salons on 5 separate occasions during the 1790s. As for her musical talents, she was as good a performer as she was a composer. If you go to her Wikipedia page, the first image you see of her is a self-portrait she did of herself posing with one of her harps in 1791. She was also the daughter of Joseph Ducreux, a guy whom, even if you weren’t aware, you have almost certainly seen in memes, as he drew quite unorthodox self-portraits. It’s almost as if he knew that, over two hundred years after his time, internet memes in general and r/TrippingThroughTime in particular would be invented for his self-portraits to live in eternally.

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19: More raiding

Living up to their IRL history, Bora-Bora is launching piratic raids against Palawa in this region. Having secured Pachacámac last episode, a squadron of galleons, a frigate and one of their unique ‘eia vessels are raiding Tataway, taking a fair bit from its city health. If more ships arrive from the Fijian islands, Bora-Bora might be able to make permanent inroads in New Caledonia.

20: I can already hear Nope and Alg typing “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

In a turn of events doubtlessly more a result of English incompetence than Burgundian brilliance, a near-dead pikeman retook Autun from its foreign occupiers. Longbowmen and cannons are already bombarding the city, and a musketeer is just one river crossing away from threatening the town with recapture, but this is still an embarrassment for Henry V.

21: Maghrebi shenanigans

Mexico just declared an irrelevant war on Singapore, so, logically, we pan to the Maghreb. Sierra Leone is still struggling to break through to Meknes, though it does appear as though the Alaouite defensive army is thinning out. Just gotta be careful to not let that askawr snipe yet another city. For whatever reason, a lot of Faroese explorers seem to think that Marrakech looks lovely this time of year.

22: Singapore 👍

Singapore 👍.

In all seriousness, though, their army and navy look entirely spent after their Vijayanagaran adventure and the Noongar war. At least Lee Kuan Yew can somewhat distract himself by enjoying the artworks of Jacques-Louis David.

History dropdown

Jacques-Louis David was a mid-late 18th-early 19th century French painter, and played a key role in the decline of the Rococo style and the rise of the Neoclassical. He was an active supporter of the French Revolution, during which he befriended the infamous Robespierre, allowing David to become kindofa dictator of the artistic world, at least in France. He later aligned with Napoleon. Not wanting to live under the restored Bourbon monarchy, he self-exiled to Brussels, at the time in the Netherlands, where he eventually died.

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23: Tiwanaku War

Tiwanaku retakes Ichacamba, but the city is barely defended and at zero health. Bora-Bora has 2 frigates nearby, but Ecuador can contest this flip too, having a trireme (seriously? this late in the game?) and a galleon nearby too.

Meanwhile, Lukurmata has started suffering some damage from the assault of Ecuadorian musketmen and knights, perhaps supported by that cannon over there.

Alegrete, meanwhile… has actually healed a little… C’mon Bora-Bora, I know you can do it.

24: Mare Nostrum

Rome and Royal Hungary DOW Mogadishu for whatever reason, giving us an excuse to look at Rome. A huge navy and a decent land army for what little land they have in this shot.

25: [insert thinksperm emoji here]

Sierra Leone DOW’d Shang, allowing us to look at them and… it does not look good at all. Their army has been attritioned in the Atlas mountains, a stream of Kanembu troops is marching through their territory, though thankfully against a common enemy rather than them, and there are more Sierra Leonean land tiles with no units on them than those with Sierra Leonean units. Meknes remains undamaged. Over near Freetown, a new great artist had come - M.C. Escher.

History dropdown

Maurits Cornelis Escher was a 20th century Dutch graphic artist whose art was mostly inspired by mathematics. His artworks were mostly woodcuts, lithographs and mezzotints. His work mostly features mathematical objects and operations, including impossible objects, exploration of infinity, reflection, symmetry, perspective, truncated polyhedra, stellated polyhedra, hyperbolic geometry, and tessellations. Unappreciated, even in his native Netherlands, for most of his life, M.C. Escher’s art finally got its first retrospective exhibitions during the very late 60s, when he was 70. He started gaining more appreciation after he died in 1972 throughout the late 20th century, and by the 21st he has become a household name, exhibitions celebrating his work held around the World.

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26: Not a good episode to be a white-and-green civ

In an upset only somewhat surprising, Florida has retaken its capital, Fernandina. The Taíno are doubtless gonna keep contesting that until Florida is out of nearby melee units. St. Augustine is faring only a little better, being at half health.

Also, uhh… are New Holland and the Seneca at war? Because there’s a bunch of ships of both up there between Bermuda and Long Island and they seem to be suffering damage, maybe from each other? If they really are at war, then, uh… Wild that it actually got to be kinda relevant, huh.

Speaking of war, it seems everyone hates white-and-green civs this episode, as Singapore joins the anti-Mog coalition, while Noongar and Palawa, rather infamously at war with each other, decide they do have one thing they can agree on, and that is that Nivkh fucking sucks.

The Finns, meanwhile, make peace with the Faroes and Kanem-Bornu.

27: Tavasta

“Yes, hello. We’re still here. You remember us? The Finns. Yes. Ye.” - local Tavastian worker when interviewed by undercover Babylonian agents posing as Pontic, Qarmatian and Afsharid travel-writers.

“Barely” - responds one of them.

28: Antarctic War

A squadron of Noongar frigates, joined by a privateer, approaches the Palawan Antarctic colony of Lukrakiyula.

Over in the corner, Nipaluna has suffered some more damage in the meantime, but has also been reinforced apparently.

Off to the side, a Wahgi fleet is just floating there… menacingly.

29: Rain

Back to the Wahgi islands we go, seeing much the same concentration of troops as before. Don’t know why we’re here and not in eastern North America, where Fernandina has just re-fallen to the Taíno, but… whatever. Highlighted outside of Banz is a new great engineer, Wilbur Wright.

History dropdown

Wilbur is one of the famous Wright brothers, the inventors of the first airplane and the first men to take flight in one. Wilbur was the older and shorter-lived of the brothers, born in Millville, Indiana in 1867 and dying in Dayton, Ohio in 1912.

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30: Breather slide

A nice shot of the Indian ocean, surely as a breather slide for both the narrator (me) and the audio-narrator (DocIdo). Grab a snack, drink some water, if you’re sleepy wash your face with cold water, and come back for the next slide. Odd number of Mog units here tho.

31: I’m sorry to whatever narrators make this error, but I find the spelling Eswanti very funny

Here we see southern Ndongo and mainland Eswatini, the latter also known as “future Ndongo” to Ana Nzinga. Honestly, with the tech gap as is… Ndongo could probably conquer all of mainland Eswatini. Sure, Big End and especially Malkerns would turn into flip fests (thanks, Swati navy), but they would surely fall eventually too.

Also, keen eyed viewers may have noticed that three Bora-Boran frigates are trying to camouflage themselves as Ndonogo vessels.

32: The tale of a musketman

“Dear Geertruida.

By the time you’re reading this letter, I’ll probably have moved past the Taíno waters and maybe even the nearest Faroese colony, but as I’m writing this letter, our squadron is moving between Curuquera and Natal. I don’t know why His Excellency, the Prince-Governor decided to send this expedition, but I wanted to make sure you know that, despite the storms and supply issues, I’m still alive and still thinking of you. If God may allow it, I hope I get to come home before ever needing to meet the enemy. But if it comes to that, that at least I survive and the Seneca are routed. Until I return, I’m missing you very dearly. I think of you daily. I long to return to you. When I get back, I’ll make sure to tell you tales of my adventures and invest anything I get paid into our wedding.

Forever yours, Piet.”

- personal correspondence of a Dutch Brazilian musketman.

33: Icy combat

Zheng DOW’d Mogadishu, but we pan to the similarly coloured and iconed Nivkh instead, observing the continuing slogging match between them and the Thule instead. By now, the war has settled into a stalemate. Nivkh may have lost a city (Iglulik doesn’t count, since Nivkh took it from Thule before it was retaken), but all things considered, no one expected them to hold that well in the beginning, especially since they lacked open borders with Gogurt when Thule had those (tho it’s unclear if they retain them as of this moment, but it don’t look that way). By now, the front has comfortably settled in and around the Visk’vo/Honsho-ji boundary.

34: Wait, that’s illegal

In a surprising turn of events, Ecuador actually achieves something. Sadly, that something isn’t capturing Lukurmata, instead it’s capturing Ichabamba. Boo! I want Tiwanaku to retake it so Bora-Bora could take it! Go take Lukurmata instead. It seems Ecuador is making progress there too, tho. Also, Ichabamba does seem more-or-less-imminently flippable.

35: Skotland

Here we see the Faroese city in Scotland, Klaksvík. It’s a big city, 21 pop, which is over 5 million people. An impressive number even now.

36: Go-Go-Gadget Gogurt Attack

Gwanggaeto has apparently caught news of what I said in a previous slide and decided to act on it, DOW’ing Shang… and also Singapore for good measure. The tech edge definitely goes to Gogurt here, but I’m not too sure if, even with the addition of meager Mongol forces, it might be enough to turn the tide on the numerically superior but outteched Shang. I thought Gogurt would have a stronger and more concentrated land army, but it seems their most well concentrated forces are their navy, which will be almost entirely useless in any offensive.

37: Central European blues

In Central Europe, Royal Hungary makes peace with Latvia, and just on time too - although the city itself is as yet undamaged, Bavarian forces have advanced to the doorstep of Csejte (pronounced Ch-eh-y-t-eh).

38: [insert zoomereyes emoji here]

The Afsharids have just unveiled their second UU, the Jazayerchiha. They’re a line infantry replacement that’s more expensive but stronger. When next to a horsebacked unit, both that unit and the jazayerchiha unit gain +1 movement and +10 strength.

39: Straight up “Sabaing it”. And by “it”, haha, well. Let’s justr say. My D’mt.

Another shot of Saba-D’mt. Nothing new to note here, tbh. Only that new great engineer they got, Yu Hao, whose experiments seem to have gone slightly awry, as that line infantry unit suffered a bit of damage. Oops.

History dropdown

IRL, Yu Hao was a late 10th century architect, structural engineer and writer of the Northern Song dynasty period. He wrote the now unfortunately lost classical Chinese literature work Mu Jing, meaning Timberwork Manual, though a mid-late 11th century author whose work is better preserved, Shen Kuo, had quoted the Mu Jing a bunch of times, so we know a decent amount about at least parts of what Yu Hao wrote. Yu Hao also built Kai-Bao Pagoda in Kaifeng, though this too was destroyed in a fire in 1040, and now the Iron Pagoda of Kaifeng stands in its place.

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Anyway, we’ll go back to our episode after this ad break

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Anyways, with the ad break done, we return back to the Southern Cone, for the first time this episode actually, to see Cona Nyeu solidly in Bora-Boran hands.

Also, Tehuelche DOW’d Nivkh and Finns made peace with Tiwanaku.

41: Florida Man

We return to eastern North America just in time to see a valiant pikeman retake Fernandina for Florida. It’s not gonna last, but is admirable.

42: Island war

The Zheng-Mog war turns unexpectedly relevant when Aw Dhigle’s garrison of a musketman and two uwassiyes attack the far distant Zheng colony of Huizhou. Irritated by this news, Yagan decides to throw a DOW Abu Bakr’s way.

43: A military paradox

Nipaluna is the home of a weird paradox going on, where, on the one hand, every time we return to it, it’s at less health than we have last seen it, and yet simultaneously it looks more securely in Palawan hands each time we see it. Weird. Also, Palawa seems to be gathering a fleet near Laylatiya. Also also, Noongar is trying to advance through the Tasman strait. Also also also, Bora-Bora has brought Tataway down to just over half health.

44: The Melanesian front

A better shot of the just mentioned action at Tataway and… oh boy. Bora-Bora is serious about this, and I like it. I don’t like how Palawa is seriously committing to the defense here too, with a line of ships around Piwangka, but Bora-Bora apparently enjoys an advantage here. Tataway may actually fall here.

Meanwhile, Bora-Boran efforts against the more isolated Wilcawaín are frustrated by a lack of open Wahgi borders and the narrowness of the Palawa-Bora-Boran border there, allowing one unit at a time to cross into the Solomon city’s territorial waters.

45: Religious war

Kanem-Bornu, the founder of Mu’tazila, DOWs Mogadishu, the founder of Sunni, pulling both states’ co-religionists into the war with them. Eswatini, Saba-D’mt and the Mamluks all DOW Kanem-Bornu, while Sierra Leone DOWs Mogadishu. The only relevant aspect to this war would be Kanem-Bornu VS Mamluks - Saba-D’mt. Despite Mamluks and Saba-D’mt being the ones to DOW Kanem-Bornu here, it’s the Kanembu troops that take initiative, crossing the Sabean-D’mti border on three different points and taking one of the Mamluks’ cut off single tiles.

46: East Africa

A good look of the East African coast, where we see some of the navies of the Sunni powers and their neighbours, as well as some wanderers from beyond. Notably, Saba-D’mt has several galleasses here. That’s so last era.

47: One front less for Sorg

Sorghagtani gives up on the cities she’s already lost in the war with Vonya, suing for peace, hoping to send forces south to reinforce the Shang front, especially now that the recent enemy of Goguryeo has unexpectedly become a wartime ally. It was a good time for peace for Vonya too, as his southern flank demanded attention. It was time to send the army south to deal with the pesky Dzungars, who thus far seem to be the greatest of the Oirats.

48: The forgotten front

The far off Arctic getaway of Daji’s, the Shang Siberian city of Zhengzhou, the approach to it eased by two citadels, finds itself under assault by Goguryeo cuirassiers with crossbow support. Though Gogurt’s attacking force isn’t conducive to a siege, with Selkup ships preventing a return of Shang’s sole ship in the Arctic, said galleon being half-dead already, and Zhengzhou being on the wrong side of Goguryeo from the rest of the Shang Empire… the city is doomed to fall.

49: Florida Fall

Fernandina has been retaken by the Taíno. St. Augustine is in the red. A full-health pikemen is advancing to retake the capital, and a half-dead one is anchored in a Carolinian coastal forest, but the third Floridian pikeman, demoralized by what appears to be a slow but inevitable Floridian defeat, flees his home, tears in his eyes, moving north into friendly Seneca territory. Not the first Floridian to do so, his leaving nevertheless means one less body able to flip the two remaining cities, and a massive hit to the morale of those of his comrades who still remain in the warzone. Gregor MacGregor can only find a hollow consolation in the Afsharids and Wahgi dropping out of the coalition.

50: The noose tightens

The Faroese and English continue ineffectually poking at the Visigoths’ coasts. Meanwhile, Sierra Leonean and Kanembu units are tightening the noose around Meknes, which is finally suffering damage.

51: Pueblo

Here we see the Pueblo Empire, current residence of our agent Ishtar, who, judging by the inconsistency of the pronouns our narrators use, is genderfluid in this timeline. Good for them. Anyways, she discovered Pueblo is behind Babylon in tech which like… duh, we literally control the physics and geography of the cylinder, all from just two nuclear submarines, vessels not even the Wahgi or Faroes are advanced enough to conceive of yet.

The Pueblo army is just scattered at random corners of their empire. It doesn’t bode well that they also appear to be near or at the bottom of the tech rankings between the civs in this screenshot.

52: Dam bitch, you live like this?

Agent Ishtar is now leaving the Pueblos and moving halfway across the world to Dam, the Khoshut capital. What juicy info might she find there?

53: Not-so-Bora

We got some good news and bad news on this slide. The good news: Bora-Bora has become the newest civ to adopt an ideology. The bad news: Bora-Bora has chosen autocracy. Goddammit, Puni.

54: Unexpected reversal

OK, I’ve been noticing an Alaouite crossbowman in the previous Maghreb scenes this episode, but I never thought it’d amount to anything so that’s why I didn’t note it. Shows how much I know. Ismail has sent a pikeman to take advantage of the crossbowman’s success, and now Marrakech has been retaken from its Kanembu occupiers. Still, the city is still in red health, and both Kanem-Bornu and Sierra Leone have units nearby to take advantage of that, so the city may yet flip to the Mu’tazilite powers.

55: Ecuadorian Push

Ecuador is consolidating its hold on Ichabamba. Unfortunately, the Ecuadorian civ icon on the city’s UI prevents me from seeing whether the Tiwanaku unit nextdoor is a melee or ranged one, so it’s difficult to judge if Tiwanaku can flip it, which may leave the city exposed to a Bora-Boran snipe.

Further north, Lukurmata is in the deep red. Ecuador may actually be able to capture the city. I wouldn’t count on it lasting, though - Tiwanaku has a large concentration of units ready to flip it.

56: The southern front

Bora-Bora’s attack on Alegrete seems to have floundered completely, as the city has fully healed. Still, there’s a lot of Bora-Boran units around still, so a second push is possible.

The main focus of Bora-Bora’s forces, however, is further southwest, with a large fleet descending on Pampa Koani. There is a cannon in the city and two cuirassiers nearby, but Bora-Bora’s navy is probably large enough to ensure that this particular campaign goes in their favour.

57: Yellow Knives

The Yellowknives make peace with Nivkh, giving us an excuse to look at their empire. Their empire is very large, especially with their recent conquests against the Crow. Their army is surprisingly small for the size of their state, but it is one of the most advanced in the World, possibly the most advanced in the Americas. Currently, should they go to war with one of their neighbours or be attacked by them, their best bet is to either wait up until their army is increased in size, or make a big diplomatic effort to make allies and co-belligerents against a common foe.

58: IDK how to title this slide

Over in northern Europe, we see the local civs just, for the most part, chilling… at least with each other. Half of the civs on-screen are engaged in wars off-screen. In between all them, Madonna holds a seaside concert in the Kattegat.

History dropdown

Madonna needs no introduction. An American singer, songwriter and actress. Her works, which feature social, political, sexual and religious themes, have been greeted with both acclaim and controversy. She has become known as the Queen of Pop. Having started her musical career as a dancer in 1978, at 20 years old, she spent half a decade as a guitarist, drummer and vocalist for various bands, before making her first solo hit, Madonna, in 1983, and her career would snowball from there, releasing many albums, including a number of all-time best-sellers throughout the 80s, 90s and 00s. She also acted roles in several films during the 80s and 90s. Since then, she also founded the company Maverick, and has dabbled in fashion, writing, health-clubs and filmmaking. She also contributed to many charities, and even founded two herself, the Ray of Light Foundation and Raising Malawi, and is an advocate for gender equality and LGBTQ+ rights.

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59: Bloody fighting

As predicted, Ecuador captures Lukurmata, but somewhat contrary to predictions, the Tiwanaku army around it has mostly been dispersed. It and Ichabamba are still flippable, but it’s looking more likely with each minute that they’ll end the war in Ecuadorian hands.

60: Autu(m)n rains

English forces have recaptured Autun, but the city remains heavily contested by the nearby Burgundians. Also, I completely forgot this war was a three way, as it seems the Burgundians and Visigoths are fighting each other as much as they are the English. Maybe they’ll actually get somewhere against their tougher neighbour if they stopped sabotaging each other.

61: New Holland

While the battle of Lukurmata keeps raging to the side and the Bora-Boran campaign in southeastern Tiwanaku is barely visible at the edge of the screen, our main focus pans to the neutral New Holland. Their army has been updating nicely since the fiasco of their own Tiwanaku war, so they may end up gaining some if they jumped in on it now. In the meantime, they’ve been visited by a weird amount of Mexican vacationers. Leading an exhibition for some of these tourists near the capital of Mauritsstad is the new Dutch Brazilian great engineer, Nain Singh.

History dropdown

Nain Singh was a 19th century Indian explorer. A native of the Johar Valley in the Kumaon region of what is now the Indian state of Uttarakhand, he led several expeditions throughout the 1850s, 60s and 70s for the British into the Himalayas and Central Asia, most notably exploring the difficult trade route connecting northwest India with Tibet via the Ladakh region, locating Lhasa and determining its altitude, and surveying much of the Brahmaputra riverway.

End of history dropdown

62: Florida man in his death trhoes

While an irrelevant war ends between the Osage and the Nivkh, we pan to a very relevant and by now, for one of the belligerents, likely fatal war. Florida’s last ditch attempt to retake their capital seems to have failed, as the Taíno tighten their grip over Fernandina. Worse yet, St. Augustine has declined to just the tiniest, barely visible sliver of red health. The moment for Agüeybaná to strike the crushing blow is coming, and it’s coming quick. Prime your F keys folks, for we may be witnessing an elimination this episode. Florida has a chance to flip both these cities, but that’ll just delay the inevitable.

63: Reconnecting

Correcting the humiliation from last episode, Thomas Peters made sure that, this time, no Kanembu funny-business is gonna be allowed. It’s gonna be the Sierra Leoneans who will be taking Marrakech this time around. And this time around, there’s no Alaouite melee units left to flip the city. Or to flip Meknes if it should fall. Only three crossbowmen stand as Fat Roog’s holy city’s last defenders against the Mu’tazilite tide.

64: Uhh…

While Florida flips its capital back off-screen, we pan over to Upper Asia where… the war I was kinda excited for isn’t really going the way I expected. The Dzungars have flooded the Selkup countryside throughout last and this episode, but they’ve barely managed to take a crack at the Selkup cities. Hsia could flip, but it’s gonna be difficult to keep it, while Al’myak, by all accounts, should be a hopeless situation for the Selkups, but the city seems to be holding just fine against the many Dzungar units surrounding them. C’mon, Galdan Khan…

65: Wonder time

Over in Negoro-ji, Ikko-Ikki completes the Neuschwanstein. This wonder, which may only be built near a mountain, provides +6 gold, +2 happiness, +4 culture, +1 great merchant point, and it also increases the yields of every city with a castle building in it, with +3 gold, +2 culture and +1 happiness. In regards to its usefulness in a domination-only game like the CBRX, it earns a 4/10 rating.

66: Is it F time yet?

And we return to America’s eastern seaboard just in time to see Fernandina and St. Augustine be captured by the Taíno, with the latter put to flame. While the fate of Fernandina is sealed, with no nearby melee units to speak of, St.Augustine still has one pikeman nextdoor and the self-exiled one returning back to his former homeland approaching from the north, so it’s very viable to flipping again. This may not be the time to press your F keys and for me to write a eulogy just yet, folks.

67: Madagascar

A look at the island possessions of the East African powers and Vijayanagara, with a focus on insular Eswatini, where a seaside concert is being held by one Jimi Hendrix

History dropdown

Jimi Hendrix was a mid-20th-century rock singer, songwriter and guitarist. He has been described as “arguably the greatest instrumentalist in the history of rock music”. His career saw him mostly active in the US and UK, often joining bands and at times leading them. His main genre inspirations were American rock and roll and electric blues. He favoured overdriven amplifiers with high volume and gain, and popularized the until-then undesirable audio feedback of guitar amplifiers. He was also an early pioneer of tone-altering effects, using such units like fuzz distortion, Octavia, wah-wah and Uni-vibe. He died at 27 years old in 1970 in a barbiturate-related accident in London.

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68: More Atlantic seaboard fighting

English ships are descending on Emerita, dealing some damage to the city, however the one-tile approach makes real gains difficult to achieve and permanent inroads near impossible. Meanwhile, the struggle for Autun continues, as does the three-way slap-fight in Occitania.

69: Nice

Goguryeo has somehow still not captured Zhengzhou, but they have brought the city to half-health. Hopefully they get the city by the time this episode is over. There’s a Shang ship actually present to flip the city, but it’s unlikely to last.

70: Defiant to the end

A near-dead pikeman retakes St. Augustine, bringing Florida back onto the map. However, his more alive comrade, along with a composite bowman, went to find shelter in Seneca lands, knowing full well that this is just one last hurrah before the death of their nation.

71: Dam son, where’d you find that?

The Khoshuts made peace with Goguryeo, giving us an excuse to look at them again. I’m not completely sure, but I think the Khoshuts got more units than last time we’ve seen them? Would still recommend building more. Who knows when their neighbours may try something.

72: Uh-oh

Ok, enough pretending to ignore those notifs in the sidebar. Ndongo, with moral support from the Afsharids, had just invaded Eswatini. This is gonna turn ugly. Ndongo doesn’t have many units on the border, but those they do have much outclass their Swati counterparts. The complication is gonna come from the Swati navy, which will surely turn Big End and Malkerns into flip fests, aided by the fact that Mogadishawi, Sierra Leonean, New Hollander and Bora-Boran ships are getting in the Ndongo navy’s way.

73: Bora ascendant again

Tiwanaku flipped Ichacamba off-screen, and Bora-Bora had taken full advantage of this to take the city from right under the Ecuadorians’ noses. The struggle is gonna be to keep the city, which is something they’ll need Ecuadorian aid for. Thankfully, the only Tiwanaku unit adjacent to the city is a crossbowman, which, as a ranged unit, is unable to capture cities.

Meanwhile, the second Bora-Boran attack on Alegrete is launched. They have made a small dent in the city’s defences, and outnumber the defensive force, but Tiwanaku forces around Pokotia are threatening a flanking maneuver, so the fate of the city is still up in the air.

74: The end of a scam

And so, St. Augustine falls once again, and is put to fire once again, and with the last Floridian melee unit far away in Seneca territory, we can officially declare Florida eliminated at 53rd place.

The Floridas were never really a favourite for winning it all, settling just 3 cities, capital included, and losing one of them to the Taíno early on. After that, they just sat with their remaining two cities for many episodes, until eventually, in the War to Avenge the Shawnee, they gave up St. Augustine to Osage in a peace deal, as Gregor MacGregor was hoping to earn money from a seaside house scam from anyone who’d take claim of the city - be they Osage, Seneca, Thule or Taíno. Yet it was these Taíno that spelled doom for this venture, as they burnt St. Augustine to the ground. A grieving Gregor joined with a nearby Seneca pikeman, and together they started putting the bricks and planks back together. St. Augustine will be rebuilt, not for a business venture, but as a home and a new beginning. Gregor had become a changed man after that experience. However, eventually, the Taíno came to finish what they’ve started so many centuries ago. And, in the end, it was them that spelled Florida’s doom. The Floridas are now reduced to an F in the chat. RIP.

75: Boraboraboraborantarctica

Bora-Bora captures the Tiwanaku Antarctic colony of Omo, setting it ablaze. I think the most likely scenario here is they’re just gonna reduce the city to 3 pop (over 21.5 thousand people) and then stop the fire there. That’d still more than halve the population of the city.

I’m surprised to see Pampa Koani still not captured by Bora-Bora. At least the city is still in low health, so a capture by Bora-Bora is likely, but still.

76: The Anglois

The English seem to have more or less secured Autun. Now, the beginnings of a strong push into remaining Burgundian territory begin, as Dijon’s outermost defenses are being whittled down.

77: Stalemate

The Shang advance on Karakorum has completely stalled, and now, a bigger threat is descending on Shang itself. Several corps of Gogurt cuirassiers, cannons, crossbowmen and musketmen are descending onto Shang lands. Daji’s very capital, Zhaoge, is deep in yellow, just one hit away from falling into the red. Could the capital be the first Goguryeo conquest of this Shang war?

78: Talking heads? Yeah, I sure hope they do.

Mongolia’s southern front may have been stalled, but they sure don’t seem to be in a rush to bring their remaining army south to reverse their fortunes. At least they got the band Talking Heads performing for them near Turfan.

History dropdown

The Talking Heads was an American rock band active mostly from 1975 til 1991, composed of lead vocalist and guitarist David Byrne, drummer Chris Frantz, bassist Tina Weymouth, and keyboardist and guitarist Jerry Harrison. They were among the pioneers of the new wave genre, fusing punk, art rock, funk and world music with “an anxious yet clean-cut image”.

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79: Peace in the Bering

With their fellow white-and-green civ Mog peacing out with Palawa in the previous slide, Nivkh finally peaces out with their only relevant enemy, the Thule, ceding Honsho-ji in the process. Iglulik, having started the war in Thule hands, doesn’t count.

Honestly, despite this war being a Thule victory, I see it as being a Thule victory in much the same way the IRL Winter War was a Soviet victory. Like, sure, you did take some lands, but against this enemy you should’ve easily taken a lot more territory, not struggled for a long time to gain so little, even suffering the humiliation of briefly losing some lands you had before the war to your weaker enemy. Call it a humiliating pyrrhic victory.

80: Eastern Australia

Taíno seems to be already eating the warmonger penalty from eliminating a civ, as Palawa DOW’d them. This gives us an opportunity to look at the Palawan heartland. Nipaluna seems to have healed somewhat, and a suicidal Palawan leryna seems to have even done a somewhat successful counterattack against the Noongar cuirassier line.

81: The long awaited attack

Thule and Pueblo DOW the Osage, suddenly plunging the heart of North America into war. Both Pueblo and Osage have similar tech, though the Osage unit composition is more up-to-date than Pueblo’s, as a number of antiquated units still dot their army, to a bigger extent than Osage’s at least. We’ll see how this goes.

82: Pray

Over to the religion map.

Sunni dominates much of southern and eastern Africa and Arabia.

Mu’tazila is the dominant religion of most of the rest of Africa.

Fat Roog maintains control of the northwest African coasts and has spread into Italy, France and Iberia.

Noaidevuohta dominates much of northern Europe, spreading into the north Atlantic, the northern Urals, and central Europe.

Vajrayana spreads over much of eastern Europe, the Middle East, Central Asia, western and central Siberia.

Vaishnavism covers a large chunk of India.

Bon only really holds sway in its holy city and Khoshut capital of Dam.

Jodo Shinshu covers most of northeast Asia and even spread into Alaska and the northern Pacific islands.

Mahayana spread over large chunks of southeast Asia, most of China and into parts of upper Asia.

Anito still holds sway over some ex-Mag islands.

Oriental Orthodoxy controls most of west, central and north Australia and a few Nusuntaran islands.

Tjukupa is the main religion of east Australia, Aotearoa, most of Melanesia and Polynesia, and even pockets in Papua and the Moluccas.

Gwaihwiio controls most of eastern North America and western Greenland.

Lutheranism has lost so much in numbers they aren’t even on the map, though doubtless exist.

Kachina covers most of middle and western North America and Hawaii.

Catholicism is the main religion of the Caribbean basin, and has even found a foothold in Iberia.

Pachaism is the main religion of the Andes and middle South America.

And, finally, Arianism dominates eastern and southern South America.

83: Civ

The map of the current borders and territories of the cylinder. Useful for our resident cartographers.

84: War. War never changes. But warfare does.

Most civs are currently in some form of war. Most are irrelevant, but there are a few between neighbours going on too. The only civs truly at peace rn are the Ume-Sámi, Bukhara, Siam and the Ikko-Ikki.

85: Growth

Here’s how each civ seems to be growing. Burgundy, the Ume-Sámi, Bukhara, the Mamluks, the Alaouites and Ecuador are declining. Royal Hungary, Makhnovia, Kazan, the Dzungars, Mongolia, Siam, the Afshardis, Sierra Leone, Saba-D’mt, Mogadishu and Bora-Bora are stagnant, most other civs are growing, and the Taíno are booming.

86: 🎵 Happy happy happy! 🎶

No civs in anarchy nor very unhappy civs rn. Nevertheless, the unhappy status of the Ume-Sámi, the Taíno and Bora-Bora should be cause for concern for their fans. The Faroe Islands, the Finns, Makhnovia, the Selkups, Bukhara, the Ikko-Ikki, the Zheng, Siam, the Afsharids, Sierra Leone, the Wahgi, the Osage, Ecuador and New Holland are all in their golden ages.

87: They Balkh at this

Continuing upon the previous citadel (citadels?) by Harappa, the Khoshuts expand the fortification complex by putting another citadel or too next to Balkh, cutting all roads between this southernmost Bukharan city and the rest of Shaybani’s state.

88: A power in decline

Bora-Bora and Ecuador had secured Ichabamba and Lukrmata, and are now advancing further into Tiwanaku territory. The Ecuadorians seem poised to attack Pariti, while Bora-Bora has reduced Alegrete down into the red. Come next episode, I’m sure it’ll be flying pinkish-red and pale-blue colours. Tiwanaku is a power in decline by now. Leading the Ecuadorian army near Lukurmata is general Narmer

History dropdown

Narmer, whose regnal name is varyingly translated as either painful catfish, stinging catfish, harsh catfish or fierce catfish, was the first unifier of Ancient Egypt. Originally a king of just Upper Egypt, he defeated his rival in Lower Egypt to unify the land by force, and is often considered as the founder of Ancient Egypt’s 1st dynasty, ushering in Egypt’s Early Dynastic Period. The dating of his reign is rather difficult, with earliest estimates putting him in the late 33rd century BCE, while the latest put him in the early 30th century BCE, but the closest thing to a consensus date is ca. 3150 BCE. He also seems to have maintained an Egyptian presence in southwestern Canaan, unlike any of his predecessors and many of his successors until a long time later. Historians are still in disagreement over whether Narmer and a slightly later pharoah, Menes, are different people, or in fact the same man who changed his name after achieving unification.

End of history dropdown

89: Atlantic slap-fight

England has brought Emerita into the yellow, but whether they get to flip it remains an open question. The English and Visigothic fleets are fighting a confused fight off the coast of Portucale again. Not much to note from the three-way-war up north nor of the Alaouite last stand. In fact, it may not even end up being a last stand, seeing as the Mu’tazilite powers have barely moved, and Ismail even has a swordsman out, which… sure, heavily outdated unit, but it’s still a melee unit they didn’t have a few turns ago.

90: Holy shit!

I swear I didn’t read ahead in the slides when writing them.

Uh, to answer a previous slide’s question, yes, the first Gogurt conquest of this particular Shang war is gonna be the Shang capital. Zhaoge was taken by a duo of cuirassiers. The city is near dead and will almost certainly flip back to those knights, but this is still a painful defeat for Daji, who is forced to seek refuge in Yinxu.

To celebrate, Goguryeo completes the construction of the Kronborg (apparently, in Danish, pronounced with a silent g, the k as a hard h and both rs like the French r?). This wonder, which has to be built in a coastal city, provides +1 culture and +1 great merchant point, and it also boosts coastal cities’ HP by +25, and a 50% boost in production of naval units in the city the wonder’s built in. It’s only slightly better than the Neuschwanstein, with a 5/10 score for CBRX usefulness.

91: Frozen north

Goguryeo also captures the far removed frozen Shang colony of Zhengzhou, but two galleons are there to contest the city.

Meanwhile, Kanem-Bornu declares another religious war, this time against the Taíno. This pulls both sides’ co-religionists in, as Sierra Leone DOWs the Taíno, while the Visigoths DOW Kanem-Bornu.

92: Suicide squad

And the Sierra Leonean DOW isn’t as irrelevant as might first appear, as a few galleons, privateers and frigates are floating right outside Taíno waters. They’re probably gonna die out here, but they might take some embarked units and maybe ships down with them.

93: Slow and steady gets the spaghetti

Ndongo’s invasion of Eswatini begins in earnest, as units cross the border. No city has been damaged yet, but that’s okay - the war had only just begun.

94: Warmonger penalty

Ooh, this doesn’t look good for the Taíno. With the Osage now joining the growing coalition against them, St. Augustine and Fernandina may become contested yet again. Still, I’m not too sure if going after Taíno is the smartest choice for Pawhuska here - the Pueblo are slowly coming from the west, and by sending a sizable army eastwards, he’s just needlessly stretching his resources thin.

95: Neutrals

While Shang retakes Zhaoge off-screen, Singapore adopts the neutrality ideology. Let’s see how that works out for them.

96: Kronborg

I already covered the wonder of Kronborg in a previous slide, but now we finally get to see which city it was built in - Mokjeo, a large city in middle Korea - home to almost 4.5 million people.

97: A mixed bag

While Ecuador is struggling to deal any hits to Ojjo, Pariti and Pucara, the second Alegrete offensive continues to slog. Bora-Bora had reduced the city’s health bar into the deep red, however most Bora-Boran units here are dead, and those that survive are now outnumbered by the Tiwanaku defenders. I’m afraid the Second Alegrete Offensive is at an end, and that in failure.

98: More fighting

We pan back to northeast Asia, where Gogurt has just retaken Zhaoge. The city remains contested still, but Goguryeo does have a stronger hand here than last time.

99: Peace in our time

We end today’s episode with a slide of central-eastern Africa, where Kanem-Bornu had just made peace with Eswatini and Saba-D’mt. Now the Mamluk city state, which had until now actually managed a few small victories against nearby Kanembu forces, finds itself essentially alone with the Mu’tazilite menace, with only their spiritual father in Mog remaining by their side, but irrelevantly so.

And that, my friends, was episode 26. Did you think this was a fun episode? I think it was. Anyway, Poblano will see you guys in the next episode. Also, sub to our audio-narrator DocIdo if you haven’t already. I hope you have a great day, night, or whatever time it is where you live, and we’ll see you in the very near future. Take care. Mwah.

Episode 26: Smoke in the Countryside and Debris in the Ocean; Everyone hates White-and-Green Civs – S4

Abstract

1: Welc bacc to the best AI game of the internet

2: Map

3: Bora-bora. Bora. Boraborabora.

4: Danke schön

5: Power Rankings

6: BORABORABORABORABORABORA

7: Aotearoan waves

08: It may not look like it, but there’s several wars on this slide

09: Cold waters

10: Upper Asian Chaos

11: Given which region of Africa we’re in now, it took all my self-restraint to stop me from making a lewd joke

12: A flood in green Siberia

13: Indo-Gangetic plain

14: Cold-burn, baby, cold-burn

15: Selkup riders

16: Swift Strike

17: Hawaii

18: Papuan waves

19: More raiding

20: I can already hear Nope and Alg typing “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

21: Maghrebi shenanigans

22: Singapore 👍

23: Tiwanaku War

24: Mare Nostrum

25: [insert thinksperm emoji here]

26: Not a good episode to be a white-and-green civ

27: Tavasta

28: Antarctic War

29: Rain

30: Breather slide

31: I’m sorry to whatever narrators make this error, but I find the spelling Eswanti very funny

32: The tale of a musketman

33: Icy combat

34: Wait, that’s illegal

35: Skotland

36: Go-Go-Gadget Gogurt Attack

37: Central European blues

38: [insert zoomereyes emoji here]

39: Straight up “Sabaing it”. And by “it”, haha, well. Let’s justr say. My D’mt.

40: This slide has been brought to you by CONE

41: Florida Man

42: Island war

43: A military paradox

44: The Melanesian front

45: Religious war

46: East Africa

47: One front less for Sorg

48: The forgotten front

49: Florida Fall

50: The noose tightens

51: Pueblo

52: Dam bitch, you live like this?

53: Not-so-Bora

54: Unexpected reversal

55: Ecuadorian Push

56: The southern front

57: Yellow Knives

58: IDK how to title this slide

59: Bloody fighting

60: Autu(m)n rains

61: New Holland

62: Florida man in his death trhoes

63: Reconnecting

64: Uhh…

65: Wonder time

66: Is it F time yet?

67: Madagascar

68: More Atlantic seaboard fighting

69: Nice

70: Defiant to the end

71: Dam son, where’d you find that?

72: Uh-oh

73: Bora ascendant again

74: The end of a scam

75: Boraboraboraborantarctica

76: The Anglois

77: Stalemate

78: Talking heads? Yeah, I sure hope they do.