Episode 38: The Big Three

1: This is getting out of hand, now there are two of them!

Paige: Hello, hello hello! It’s Lynn again, with both Paige & Caitlyn around once more for this (very late) narration. You’ve seen us before, & hopefully you’ll see us again writing for you. With that, Cait will give a summary of where the game is.

Caitlyn: Where we last left off, Wahgi had pushed Bora-Bora to their South American holdings, while the Yellowknives & New Holland took their shot at México. The war between the Faroes & Rome is in a stalemate, while the front with Sierra Leone is flipping the cities along the Mediterranean like a pancake. Along with that, The Thule took a shot at Ikko-Ikki, while Goguryeo decided to take their shot at them. Oh, & Finland died to Latvia. In the peace deal between México & the Yellowknives, Wahgi took their shot & declared war with their “peacekeepers” taking all of that remained of Mexican Central America.

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One of the most dramatic endings to an episode in a while, Wahgi’s betrayal of their ally cemented them in the popular consciousness as a villain. Such a clearly sinister & backhanded assault really set them apart from the rest when they already have been a rising star. It was a good move regardless. Thanks for this Lasqueto!

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Paige: No map this time, but outside of this OC, do check out Sonicfan0511’s post & his greatest extents maps! Really interesting to look at. It’s a good contrast on how those following the CBR season view each, & generally there is more support for Goguryeo over Wahgi, but it still fairly exists. It’ll be interesting to see where things go from here.

4: Plugging for Two This Time

Paige: As always, a big thank you to all of the people supporting this project, this literally could not exist without the endless support given to the team. If you ever can spare a few dollars, feel free to consider helping keep this project alive that we’ve been reading since we were a child. In addition, this is the last week that you can buy stickers of your favorite Civs this season, so get them while you still can. You have to do so in the next few days!

5: Motherfuck the big three, brother it’s just big me.

Caitlyn: Goguryeo is neck & neck with Wahgi, but the favorite long-term is nothing changes radically for the Wahgi, or they don’t expand much further before total war. Seeing as Goguryeo has caught up & is ahead in tech due to their expensive military, they need to use it, or lose their chances where everyone catches up or that they’re unable to sustain their large military any longer. We still haven’t seen a Civ like Wahgi before, I encourage you to take a look at their stats & the fact that despite how much they’re spending & losing things, that they still are a major superpower.

Paige: If we’re going to assign rappers for this season: Goguryeo for Kendrick, Wahgi for Drake, & the Faroes is J Cole. There was some neat discussion lately on others assigned, which I’d agree with TopHat’s comment on Yellowknives being MF DOOM, another one being Lasqueto’s comments on New Holland being Jack Harlow & Mexico being Ja Rule.

For Doclodo, I have no idea if you could even put the control verse for the title, but if you can, that would be really funny & you should do that if you can.

6: Lines Drying Up

Turn 540

Paige: If you reference the previous episode, you’ll see that two cities flipped back to Bora-Bora since the previous epsiode: Maguinchao & Comlel. New Holland blockinging Pampa Koani is definitely giving Bora-Bora some boost , but their troops are thinning out on the continent significantly. Their navy unfortunately is in the wrong ocean. There really is little chance of Bora-Bora maintaining their current city count, & a peace deal would likely encroach even further into South America. Right now, New Holland’s best chance is to invade Bora-Bora soon. The Wahgi are not invincible either, & there is potential that these lands aren’t guaranteed for Wahgi as their troops are running low too.

7: The Last of the Mexicanos

Caitlyn: The city of Otavalo has been between only two nations' hands: México & Ecuador. Taken in a peace deal a while ago, & generally considered as one of the worst moves Ecuador made, now is a metropolitan island in squalor. While soldiers continue to harass the refugees attempting to leave the rubbles of the city that once vibrantly stood without violence, they have not made moves to capture the city, as an assault into the rubble may be untenable. There are some ships nearby that may be able to just take it, but the city is lost long term as the last refuges of the Mexicanos will continue to starve & wait until death comes to take them.

08: Squeezing an Ice Pop

Paige: The situation for the Thule is Dire. Despite Honsho-ji having some damage, that’s about the only thing they have going for them. A once promising power is being destroyed by one of the Big Three, & while troops may take time to fill in, hope is slim. Their only hope is that their sizable navy may be able to flip cities for a while to prolong their demise & try to end the war on better terms. I wouldn’t hold out hope for them.

09: Surrounded on all Sides.

Caitlyn: Despite one last heroic resistance of Wahgi tyranny, it is in vain. Guns blazing to maintain their control of Central America, the Wahgi immediately move to retake the city. The Monterry Madmen will defend their city to the last drop of Mexican blood. The betrayal that México faced will not be unanswered by her citizens, even if hopeless, they will be remembered against the Wahgi menace.

10: Naval Flips

Paige: The Romans continue their well established tradition of flipping cities in this war, costing time that Thomas Peters doesn’t have. This invasion is their chance to create, if not a buffer, at least some more room between North Africa & the Faroes reigning from above. Rome’s troops are unfortunately thinning out, & Traian has to choose how he uses his navy, which bodes poorly for Peter’s chances of making advances in Europe. The front in North Africa looks optimistic, albeit still going to take some time to break through.

11: A Crater in our Heart

Caitlyn: The revolution’s survivors say that the last battle took place just outside of Chicxulub, while the Wahgi would claim that they took the cities to much fanfare. Regardless, the remaining exile government troops in La Puebla, an ironic name in hindsight, know that their country is lost.

México had a decent start, expanded early but ended up halted by other North American powers, & moved south. While they slowly made their way along & south, a lucky peace deal or two allowed them a decent position. After conquering Ecuador with New Holland, they reached their peak & a large amount of popularity. Unfortunately this didn’t last very long. Multiple countries took on the emergent nation, & they found themselves unable to maintain their ascendancy. A final betrayal at the hands of the peacekeepers division allowed the Wahgi to have a second footing in South America, leaving them indisputably the top power in the entire sphere. A sudden, yet tragic fall in a nation with potential.

12: Mag World

Turn 541

Paige: Mag from one part of the world to another, the Whagi flip Comlel, Fa’anui, & Maguinchao. During this time, some reinforcements come in just in time to help supply the assault deeper into Southern South America. Only a few cities remain between Wahgi & the rest of Bora-Bora’s South American cities. There isn’t much hope, but there is some hope of keeping at least a city.

13: Their unique ability is still busted, & should have been fixed, same with Pontus.

Turn 541

Paige: While not as dominant as a few episodes ago, the Faroes clearly are the dominant power in Europe, but others nearby may hold decent chances when working together. Peters is building up & Latvia is still strong, but the powers in between are in terrible positions. Oh, Pontus is okay too. We’ll see how the next few wars go!

14: Unrelated, but their UU is really cool.

Paige: Latvia at this point needs to keep expanding, & Ume-Sámi or Bavaria are the best chances to do so before other powers decide that they would be a potentially good target, especially with the number five to the east, Pontus to the south, & the Faroes to the west. There’s probably not many chances for their long term survival nor winning, but there’s chances for trying to extend it longer.

15: Fading Days

Caitlyn: Pontus has that dog in them, & can definitely fight in a war well. Best chance is to try to take on Rome while alright stuck between two powers, even if it’d be a tough fight with Rome’s troops so close. If they continue to wait much longer before making their moves for wherever they want to go. With their broken UA, it should help for the little bit of time that it is useful left. They have to let the dog go wild.

16: A Union Forged in Fire

Caitlyn: Both in rough positions with limited chances to make progress, but also hard to take out. Mog has done much better than I had expected at least, I thought they’d be knocked out of Africa a dozen episodes ago, but it’s been really impressive to watch them survive & grow. These two have always lived together, in conflict & in peace. Maybe one day, both can realize that their fighting has done nothing for them but make their bond closer.

Paige: Cait, is this an enemies to lovers joke?

17: Outgunned, Outmanned

Caitlyn: The Dzungars are unfortunately stuck. On every side they are outclassed & without access to the world. They have done a decent job of not just harboring un-

Paige: Cait you didn’t answer the previous question.

Caitlyn: Regardless, despite the inevitable coming.

Paige: Cait-

Caitlyn: Yes it was, shut up.

Paige: You have to face your sins Caitlyn.

Caitlyn: You would say that in a slide where you can take a r-

18: A Rough Road Ahead

Paige: Ikko-Ikki continues their defensive war against the Thule, but it seems to be less of a death sentence, more of a strain on their remaining forces. While the Thule may be able to take Negoro-Ji, further advancements seem difficult at best, especially while fighting for their life. Gogurt’s own Navy, while still moving, is likely to change how things move in this sphere, but they have to maintain some navy for after their war, lest they want to have issues later.

19: How do they far…oes

Caitlyn: Ume-Sámi, one of my favorite civs this season & one I refuse to abandon (deer solidarity), are basically done for as soon as Latvia or the Faroes decide to take their bite into it. After being traumatized by a failed war against Finland, they’ve spent the entire time wasting away & turtling. & after losing their sole expansion path to Finland, it’s over for them. Now the dead are waiting to die, the vultures circle to renew the ground once again for another season of Civ Battle Royale.

20: So Far from God, so Close to New Holland, Wahgi, & the Yellowknives.

Paige: México’s last few troops stage a final assault against the ciudad of La Puebla. Hopeless, but still a final fight in glory. Somehow the Taíno haven’t faced any wars that have truly threatened them yet, I wonder when that will change. Is just odd to see such a peaceful part of the globe. Caitlyn: By the way, notice something healed on the top of the screen.

21: Center of Power

Turn 542

Caitlyn: Akaitcho met with his advisors for their regular meeting, first tries to address the issues going on: They have limited forces in their lands, one of the Big 3 have a foot hold to their south, & east coast is swiss cheese. The advisors all seemed anxious, worried about what would need to be said & done to survive. None of these problems are impossible to solve, the Wahgi are unlikely to invade the Yellowknives anytime soon, troops aren’t impossible to produce, & they could take Osage & what remains of Seneca easily. That doesn’t mean any of these would be easy. The Faroes to their east is something to fear about, but standing around doing nothing will only ensure failure. The clock is ticking. The advisors offer various ideas: Taíno? That brings them closer to New Holland, Wahgi, & the Faroes. Turtling? It won’t solve the territorial integrity issues. One advisor mentioned the war between the Goguryeo & Thule, & a light switched on in some advisors heads. But, Akaitcho closed the meeting for today, letting them all go home. Who knows what the Yellowknives will do in their position to not only survive, but thrive.

22: Troubled Waters

Paige: Yamashina looks dire for Ikko-Ikki, but even as the Thule advance in their navy to Yamashina, Visk’vo flips to Goguryeo. Slowly but surely their gains against the Nivkh are being lost to Goguryeo, & it’s likely not to be the end. My prediction of how this goes is thus: Thule takes one-to-two northern cities from Ikko-Ikki, Goguryeo takes at least Thule territory in the old world, then & unite their territories on the island from taken Ikko-Ikki cites.

Caitlyn: During this time, a dispatch is sent out, to send out a division to Unimak to attempt a distraction. The unit, upon landing, decides to look at their options. The city looks easy to take, but at the same time, it looks like the Goguryeo navy will take it first. From there they decide how to best survive & not be left for dead.

23: What would the equivalent of trenches for navies?

Turn 543

Caitlyn: Peter wakes up to an aid knocking on his door, smiling slightly, presenting the news of flipping Athens, Alexandria, & Aquilea. Peter seemed exhausted. His aid tried to encourage him, talking about thinning lines on the Roman side. Peter gave an annoyed look, & turned around to sleep in a bit longer.

Paige: Traian, red eyed & clutching his coffee cup turns to his advisor & asks what would go wrong this time. Upon hearing The three cities flipped once more, he started to sob, & ordered that he be given some privacy.

24: Wahging the Tail

Paige: Only one city that Bora-Bora took from the Tehuelche remains in their hands, & the situation looks rough for them. The few ground troops they have left can only maintain things a while longer. Reinforcements are coming in for the Wahgi & things look dire. Collon-Cura looks safe for a few turns, but we’ll have to see how things develop. But their chances are dying by the day of any survival. They need to make peace for any future for Bora-Bora.

25: Peace in our time

Paige: Maintaining four cities that they had, & losing Alegrete & Wankane, peace has been made between the ascendent Wahgi, & the former power Bora-Bora. It’s likely they’ll lose what is left in the next war they fight, a sad state of affairs for a once vibrant & well loved empire. If New Holland moves soon, they may make it more difficult for the Wahgi to control all of South America.

26: Denunciation

Caitlyn: Henry continues to wander the world with his closest advisors. They do not pay mind to his mumbling & despair, as they try to plan where to go next. Until they hear an order to send a denunciation to Leovigild. “There will not be peace in our time, you scum.” His advisors sent the message out, cringing at his behavior, the behavior of a bitter & jaded old man, but they don’t care any longer, at least they are still alive.

27: Surprise Capture

Caitlyn: A naval officer notices the Thule navy moving south & east, & through a secret message, they arrange an assault on the city of Iqaluktuuttiaq. A submarine shot some missiles, distracting nearby ships from the airstrikes into the city. As the missiles landed in the city, the city was taken by an offload of troops into the city. While this won’t hold, the officers recognized, it embarasses the Thule navy at a time where they cannot lose even more ground, being kicked out of Siberia. While their navy may be able to flip a city for a bit, it is a losing battle. Whatever Gogurt decides on advancing into North America, the Thule will no longer be able to contest any wars going forward without risking everything.

28: Bread & Jurassices

Turn 544

Caitlyn: Akaitcho joined his close group of advisors, & passed along ideas in the office for how to maintain their internal growth. One of the largest fears discussed was keeping people under control, they seemed confused how to do such. One of the advisor’s kids was drawing off to the side, & he decided to check his daughter’s drawing. It was of a dinosaur. He chuckled, spiking Akaitcho’s amusement & interest. He decided to look over, & see what was drawn. An idea appeared in his head. The meeting ended swiftly, & he quickly met with a few engineers to see what’s possible. A few geneticists were called upon in this meeting, concerned about what would happen if this was put into fruition, but it didn’t matter, only if it was possible. With hesitation, they admitted that it was. That was all Akaitcho needed to hear.

Within the month, a massive project was started on Ivujivik, that no one truly knew what was happening, until a convention from one of the top business owners announced a new project: reviving the dinosaurs, & allowing the public to see them. While a vanity project at heart, the efforts were supported by the Wahgi, Palawa, Faroes, New Holland, & Goguryeo for learning more about genetics, with the stipulation that all knowledge will become accessible for every nation supporting the funding. The city government loved the idea, but the citizens were not nearly as much. This didn’t matter, as it would be a trillion dollar moneymaker, their feelings didn’t matter. When the gates opened, the world was never the same.

Paige: So as for the wonder’s actual abilities: +6 Happiness, Gold, & Science, along with +2 Great Scientist Points. In addition, the effect is such: “Zoos in the empire produce an additional +2 Science, Gold and Happiness. Provides a free Zoo in the city which it is built. Dinosaur units may appear randomly outside of cities as Barbarians until the discovery of Designer Lifeforms”. It has a score of seven, & is a solid wonder for any Civ, so a pretty good wonder. For anyone who plans on narrating, keep this in mind if you see any barbarian units in this area, this will be why.

29: Not Iglooking Good

Paige: As Caitlyn’s lore dump predicted, the city flipped immediately. I doubt it will flip more than once at this point, but the Thule look in bad shape if they have to flip their own cities from Ikko-Ikki of all nations nearby. What chances do they have long term? Also Nurgan has flipped back once again, likely not lasting many more flips.

30: Taíing the Knot

Turn 545

Paige: Osage is the victim of a double Declaration of War by the Taíno & Bora-Bora, leading to a crisis for the leadership on what to do. Despite the fact that the Taíno have a clear advantage in immediately available troops, it’s bad terrain to go through, & the citadels will make advances much harder to get through, & give Osage time to get reinforcements on the frontline. We’ll see how things go. Not sure why Bora-Bora joined in this. This is probably Agüeybaná‘s last chance for prolonged survival, as they are surrounded by, in order of the last PRs, Osage (26), New Holland (5), Yellowknives (4), Faroes Islands (3), & Wahgi (2).

31: This entire war is Rashid

Paige: Alexandria has flipped back to Traian, but his forces are drying up & he is refusing to move his navy East, which might be preventing Pontus, but still scary to not use more of your navy to maintain your cities when it’s so hard to maintain their navy on this front. Peters is regardless, moving to the North African front which looks good for him.

32: Arabian Frights on a Full-Lit Night

Turn 546

Caitlyn: In the Arabian desserts, around a hollowed out mine, a bright flash encompasses the entire area. While the area is largely deserted, the few cameras there & instruments recording it shook while the Earth Saba-D’mt touched changed forever. Mogadishu was the first power to notice a discrepancy of seismic activity there, then Pontus, but it would unfortunately be confirmed soon that, yes, Makeda now holds nuclear weapons.

33: Joint Operation

Caitlyn: The Ikko-Ikki paratrooper Army lands on the island of Kodiak, joining the naval units circling the city of Kuganajuup. Once they arrived, the naval officers send a communiqué

over an encrypted line to start a three city barrage to snipe the three cities off the Alaskan coast. The naval corps move to take Kuugjuaq & Utqua Vik, closing in & taking shots at the city defenses. They order their land troops to stay behind until further orders, despite Ikko-Ikki’s early ambitions moving paratroopers in.

34: A New Hopeland

Turn 547

Caitlyn: The world has entered a new era, an era defined by new technologies unimaginable to those before. The Shang live in an odd world defined by pre-industrial views & contrast the world defined by the rapid & relentless onslaught of technological progress. Maybe one day that would end too. There’d be nothing left to learn, at least in this timespan. But the most recent addition to those in most rapidly advancing is New Holland, planning their moves into a world focused on consolidation & growth.

35: Pals-a-Wah

Paige: Saba’s continued turtling & piggybacking continues, with a Delcaration of Friendship between them & Saba-Da’amat, but this is a good chance to do a Palawa core check. This time we see how limited their land army is, & in a war between Noongar & Palawa, I truly think that Noongar has some advantage if there isn’t Wahgi involvement. Their navy makes any naval war easier, but expand to where? Palawa is stuck between a rock & a hard place, & they are waiting to die, despite many things they have going for them. It’s just a question if it is the Wahgi, or if Noongar gets a chance to snipe some land.

36: Far Away Friends

Caitlyn: Some advisors send a dispatch over to Sierra Leone to talk about the future. While they have previously made agreements sharing novel encryption breaking techniques that they shared with the Thule, they decide to solidify their alliance against the Faroes, in hope to deny them expansion options in North America & Africa. Whether it will be enough depends on how Akaitcho & Peters decide to move going forward.

37: In Aquileaty

Paige: Aquilea flips once again to Rome, but their ability to hold the city seems slim to none, & Peters soon will be able to do whatever they wish until Traian decides to move the fleet west. Rome is in a fight for its survival, while Peters is fighting to maintain his regime. Whatever happens, Traian will be known for being a brave leader that took on threats in every direction, & survived much longer than he had any right to.

38: Government Overview 1/4

Caitlyn: This is your typical government slides screen, & it’s such a neat mod, it is great to see. Als, look at how long they can get with the addition of new capitals.

39: Government Overview 2/4

Paige: I wonder how the party names are generated, perhaps randomly from a list or government type.

40: Government Overview 3/4

Paige: Wow that name sounds fascist as fuck.

Caitlyn: Listen, fascism & left wing governments in l-

Paige: No, no, no, stop.

41: Government Overview 4/4

Caitlyn: Wow these names are absolutely wild at times. Socialist Republic, a crowned Republic, with a right wing party.

42: Hello Computer

Caitlyn: In Kuganajuup, the brave paratrooper takes their desperate shot in unison with the easy assault Kuugjuaq & Utqua Vik. In the chaos that followed the retreat from Kuugjuaq they noticed a computer running some program. Deciding that the computer was a matter of security, he ordered them to take the computer & ensure it remained online. The troops seemed confused as to why they were waiting over some machine, but it seemed not to matter to them, more time to rest.

43: Full Noon

Turn 549

Paige: Their core is looking more full than the last time we checked, & they look to be competitive with Palawa in a one v. one against them, but they still have a long way to go before any sense of security in a conflict. I’d be more scared down under by the Wahgi troops up north. There’s not much chance against them beside delaying the inevitable. Even their navy isn’t enough to delay things too long against the technologically advanced Wahgi. So now Noongar is simply waiting to die. A sad fate.

44: Coalition!

Paige: Seems there is a coalition war with Noongar, Latvia, & Ume-Sámi against Rome. None of them are able to reach Rome, but it seems that many of the other Civs smell blood in the water, & are coming to pick the remaining pieces. This is not good news for Rome, some civs that may be able to do something to them may be emboldened soon to try to take over what’s left.

45: A Price for Peace

Turn 550

Paige: This peace deal with Faroes taking Carthago will end the fighting, but lose the war. In this move, The Big Three are further solidified. Faroes now need to pivot, but they have good options, even if the Yellowknives are in the same position to expand. What they don’t have is great production abilities.

46: Hop Across the Pond

Paige: As they advance into the new world, Qikiqtaaluk makes a solid beachhead to make it deep inland into the core of the Thule. The Yellowknives are losing their chance to take any land in their north & deny an ever stronger landing platform for any advances into the Yellowknives’ territory, which they need to prevent a total takeover. They are rapidly losing options of what to do due to the gridlock & military inaction of the Yellowknives.

47: Man’s Sore

Caitlyn: Traian, seeing the writing on the wall, decides to offer peace to both powers striking into their hearts. The peace deal, while both were independent events, involved a large amount of diplomatic dialogue between Sierra Leone & the Faroes. The Faroes attempted to prevent them from expanding too far, while Sierra Leone attempted to take control of as much of the Mediterranean as possible. In their deal, they agreed to give Carthago to the Faroes, & Sierra Leone would take up to the city border with Cairo in North Africa, & keep the major islands in the western Mediterranean, establishing a buffer zone & limiting the front for future warfare.

48: Boredom is a Great Inspiration

Turn 552

Caitlyn: During the long trip over the strait, Damon Albarn talked with another artist for a while in the same division. In the time spent waiting to be deployed, there was a lot of waiting & frustration. Away from most of their instruments, they were left with their phones & their minds. Using the sounds around, they created samples & made a few songs together. They decided to name their first song Pandaz, due to it being a beloved animal. At the same time, Ikko-Ikki decides to continue their advance into Okak, using their superior firepower to drown and destroy the city in advance.

49: Well that was fast.

Turn 554

Caitlyn: Peters, despite knowing of their nuclear capabilities, decides to take a gamble: an invasion of Saba’s western territories. Immediately it seems to be going awkwardly as Nkongsamba is pummeled & Saba-Da’amat charges into the surrounding area. Peters is in a tenuous spot now that just after leaving a back-and-forth war, they approach a new war to their east that led to his own citizens' homes being destroyed. Not that it will matter much, but it will be hard to keep things together on the homefront.

50: You’d think it’d be a Rarity to find ponies at this point of the game.

Paige: The Dzungars actually still have horses, & despite a relatively full core, it all is extremely outdated tech that while civs are entering the Future Era, they will not be able to maintain any war into them for long. Goguryeo, the Selkups, or Bukhara will be able to enter quickly & take as many cities as they’d like.

Caitlyn: Maybe they like being taken for a ride or slapped around. You don’t know Paige.

Paige: I think you might be projecting a bit there, Cait.

51: In the Gator

Paige: There is basically no progress made in the war outside of damaging some units & being unable to make any progress into Osage lands. I truly do not foresee this war being productive, there’s nothing they have that can give them an advantage outside of attempting to have the Yellowknives or some other Civ to invade at the same time, which won’t go well for the Taíno anyway. They are just waiting to die at this point, as is what this stage of the game is: the consolidation of lands & destruction of smaller Civ until Total War is declared.

52: I’m not Okak

Caitlyn: Ikko-Ikki’s may or may not be able to hold Okak, probably not, but it won’t be good for them. I don’t think Thule can take any city back long term, their navy has retreated & they have very few units to keep themselves together. If Ikko-Ikki can hold onto this, it’ll take more time for Goguryeo to take everything.

The computer that the officer had kept had an algorithm running, as it went on & on, there seemed to be no end of it in sight. The officer sighed & offered to potentially unplug it, but was convinced otherwise to keep it running to see what happens. In the meantime, he halted movement into Sisimiut to explore this algorithm & condense the invading army.

53: Xiao of Tun

Caitlyn: The Shang have imported coal from the nearby deposits, & have harnessed burning it as a way to produce energy. The prophet has declared these efforts as the next step in establishing their foothold in the world, as they dump the waste into the nearby rivers, outside of their territory. While not exactly great for their relationship, they now can produce new technologies & start growing once more!

Paige: This furry faggot fox is so done for.

54: Poor planning gets you poor results

Paige: In unshocking news, Peters lost the city despite trying so hard to have troops close enough in this surprise war. Ah yes it is a wonderful idea to declare war before ensuring your troops are in place to actually fight it. Maybe it was a question & they wanted to avoid the additional warmonger penalty, but still going fairly poorly. Minya is also looking really bad. Peters likely is facing a reckoning internally.

55: Unanswered Calls at the Door

Turn 556

Caitlyn: While the Thule are in solidarity with the Rio Grande Liberation Movement, the Yellowknives are heavily pressured into going along with them, leading to a joint declaration of war against Bora-Bora. Despite being surrounded on all sides by the Big Three, they refuse to do anything to effectively protect their territorial integrity or international optics. Akaitcho, instead of actually aligning the keys to power to ensure their sustainability, is allowing them to lead him into various squabled & internal affairs like genetic reviving projects or unimportant affairs across the world. A knock comes to the door, but he refuses to answer, & returns to his home office.

56: Ngone

Paige: Peters flips back Nkongsamba & is scrambling to form their line while reinforcements lag behind. There is little hope of these cities only briefly being in the crossfire, but there is certainly a chance of one side managing to keep their gains over time. It depends a lot on who maintains the upper hand, but right now, I anticipate a stalemate going forwards unless the war goes on too long, in which Sierra Leone has a clear advantage with over double the production capacity.

57: Bora-Bover

Turn 557

Paige: As planes strike into the remaining heart of Bora-Bora’s South American capital, its death within the next few turns becomes inevitable. Not at the hands of the Wahgi, but of New Holland. They have a clear tech advantage, production advantage, & probably will clean things up relatively quickly. Their units were not well arranged, as is usual for the AI, but they still advance into Piratini. The Bora-Bora navy may make things difficult, especially south, but things are not hopeless. It may be frustrating though.

58: A High Sisimiut

Paige: Due to the delays with the Goguryeo assault into the southern mainland, Sisimiut flips for Ikko-Ikki. This leaves basically no land for the Yellowknives to take or use as a buffer between them & Goguryeo, & now troops can easily be built up on their border. & now any defense of their land has to involve a significant land campaign, & not be slowed down navally. Oh right, & Ikko-Ikki has more land that Goguryeo will need to take eventually, so we’ll see how that goes. Probably a good call to do once this war is over. I don’t anticipate Japan taking any more cities, but they could before Goguryeo can, which will make this war interesting.

59: Gloria

Caitlyn: Giovanni Gabrieli was an Italian composer during the Renaissance btw, which is cool to see. This is a good chance to compare cores, & how heavily citadeled the peninsula is, with six separate citadels south of Pyrenees, all from the Faroes (minus one shhhh). Slowly Leovigild is losing his remaining territory, as is Barcino, which shows clearly what Trøndur has in mind for future expansion plans. Their fate was always obvious, but we’ll see who takes the final blow for them.

60: They’re Them!

Caitlyn: During the chaotic war, music seemed to thrive as it always does. People always need a distraction when things are going poorly. Van Morrison started with a small band called Them, & performed at local night clubs. Focusing on soul & RnB aspects, it was soothing for everyone who didn’t want to focus on the war that seemed to go nowhere, but cost more & more each passing day.

61: Forced Out

Caitlyn: Baháʼu'lláh stayed loyal to Makhovia, & refused to stop preaching his good word about the future to come. The Latvian authorities, labeling him a blasphemous rebel, decided to exile him from their lands. But he simply moved on, into Selkups land, that he was still not well received. He advocated for the end of the puritanical nature of Makhovist tendencies, which also was not popular outside of the few followers he kept. He knew it’d be a lonely life, but he was still the most popular figurehead of the faith for now, & possibly ever again.

62: Ain’t a Shang Thang

Paige: Shang receives a few irrelevant declarations of war & we get to see it again. Obviously there isn’t really anything anyone can do to Shang outside of Wahgi (Paratroopers in Irtysh) & Goguryeo. It was not a bad move, as it removes some of the penalty while also ensuring no one can take it in the future. Still their fate is inevitable, & they have no way to survive once Total War starts. With musketmen against paratroopers & tanks, they only await the end.

63: No Qikters here!

Turn 558

Paige: Goguryeo takes Qikiqtanga & Ikko-Ikki takes a swing at Qikiqtaruk. With the Great War Infantry against paratroopers & other advanced troops, there is not much of a chance against the Ikko-Ikki,it just depends who ends up taking the city completely. It is genuinely shocking how Ikko-Ikki has been able to completely turn this war around, which will be fun to see how this plays out in Power Rankings.

64: Trying to Kill Time

Paige: With Peters’ troops coming in, it will take a committed assault to win against Peters, but it looks grim long term with their military tech issues, but things are far from hopeless. Saba will have the ability to fuck with lines, but they have no real ability to keep up the onslaught for any extended period of time. It has been really disappointing to see how Saba has been playing this season, it often feels they are unable to play on their best moves & stagnates, & the recent war with Pontus has been rough in trying to keep up in tech, which they were already struggling with due to the broken ability. Is a shame to see.

65: A Caca Situation

Paige: Bora-Bora has lost a ton of their navy in their defensive offense. As it has withered down over time, the lines have moved into the border of Piratini, & it is taking a lot of damage, from the ten air units stationed in Saint Louis. No matter how long they are able to block New Holland’s (not particularly great) navy. Bora-Bora doesn’t have any way of maintaining itself against the technologically advanced New Holland with more production & ability to fight. Imagine living in these lands, it would probably hurt a lot.

66: A Kazakhole Mistake

Turn 559

Caitlyn: There is like, a one tile gap between the two, what is your game plan to win this? Neither side has air units or paratroopers. Even if the Kazakhs are very vulnerable, you need to really try to take Bolgar, & you cannot path that well with practically equal tech at best. Is an odd border skirmish. Also, you have to cross a river to get into that land, if a unit dies, now you are fighting over a river to make any advances. Seems like a total AI move to make sadly.

67: I don’t think anyone was expecting Ikko-Ikki to do this, let alone last this long.

Turn 561

Caitlyn: The Thule’s capital (Qikiqtaruk) flip-flops, but at this point, I don’t see them being able to maintain it, I thought Gogurt may be able to move in troops, but at this point, it is the Ikko-Ikki’s. The Thule can’t hold onto their capital, & they will be forced to defend their new capital city of Kangiqliniq soon. It should be somewhat embarrassing for Gwanggaeto, even if the terrain was not the best for this.

68: Cura-Cura

Paige: Bora-Bora may be able to take Epuyen, which is a problem for New Holland. Losing territory to the person you declared war on is always embarrassing. While it’s possible it holds, especially with the planes, it still is less than ideal for Johan. The AI really does not know how to plan for wars ever frankly. I don’t think that Bora-Bora is going to prevent being taken completely over, possibly close to the end of this episode even. Collon-Cura is going to be awkward as well without a significant navy soon.

69: Every episode must have a joke like this.

Paige: Despite the war going poorly, basically nothing has changed, & the Taíno chances are swindling with every turn this war. Unfortunately, the Taíno just moved too late to make any expansion possible. Maybe even if they took a shot during México’s collapse, they’d have a chance of surviving a while, but now they await death. They just didn’t have that dog in them.

Caitlyn: I mean I know a lot of people in this community that wish they had the dog in them.

Paige: The Taíno?

Caitlyn: Uh yeah, sure, that. Unfortunately they’re bound by their leash.

70: No Vitelloni

Caitlyn: Federico Fellini, while largely independent of the government, was allowed to work on his own projects after helping produce a propaganda film for the war against the Finns. Using his new funds, he launched a career in making a mix of baroque & fantasy films. He eventually was able to collaborate with other cultural works from across the world, & even spent some time in Jurassic Park while working on a film involving dinosaurs. In the lull between wars, Latvia's cultural industry grew in small part from his efforts.

71: One last look before it’s over

Caitlyn: The forever sun beat down as the Thule capital was taken, & the Yellowknives cut off communication with the Thule. The new owners of the city looked over the top of the highest building, at the empty road east. The metropolis of Kangiqliniq lies only a bit in the distance. Only a short trip to glory for all of Ikko-Ikki. The soldiers sat around, & joked about the campaign, & all that they had done. The citizens just hid in their homes, scared to leave. While the soldiers laughed, the victims at home sat, quietly, & seemed to pretend it wasn’t happening.

72: Aksum too much.

Paige: Aksum flips to Peters! While many of Peters’ troops are still trying to get into formation, they’re unable to prevent the two cities from coming under Peter’s control. Pillaging has taken its toll in their lands, but not completely destroyed it all. While Peters is still forming their defenses, Saba is running into issues with troops-he simply doesn’t have enough in place to maintain the war at this time.

73: A World in Flames

Caitlyn: “In these uncertain times, we must make decisions that we do not wish to make, but we must make them if we wish to live”. Yagan’s voice was drowned out by the claps & cheers of the audience. He announces that they have caught up with the major powers in nuclear capabilities, & have the burning power that one dreams gods may have. Later that day, a little outside of Nannup, a bright flash overtakes the horizon, enough for minor tectonic action in Nipaluna

74: Geez these borders are ugly.

Paige: Despite being unable to actually fight each other on land, the two powers fought each other for a while—mostly involving bombing campaigns on Samarkand & Elista—have decided to put down their arms, allowing themselves time to breathe before the next wars upcoming.

75: They’ve built a second tower!

Caitlyn: The construction of the Dettah Shanghai World Financial Center awards the Yellowknives +2 Culture, Great Merchant Points, & Merchant Specialists each. It also provides +1500 Gold & +2 Gold from Merchants. Dettah, a major power as now a financial intersection of the Big Three, allows easier facilitation of trade between them all, & allows them to have infrastructure built for trading between them all, at least for a while. This wonder sucks for this game by the way, also seems like not the best wonder in the first place (the stats score it as a one, the worst score)

76: Marines on the Homefront

Turn 565

Paige: Piratini has been taken by New Holland. It looks like it may flip, but at the same time, much of Bora-Bora’s forces have moved south in a desperate assault on Epuyen. It looks promising, but it’s not hard for that to look promising while noting how empty their homeland is, nearly devoid of military units south of Caçapava, & very few chances for retaking cities that New Holland takes. The mainland may not remain over the next twenty-something slides. I’m sorry to all who Bora-Believed. They fought hard, but against Wahgi, no one really could have done better outside of Goguryeo.

77: New Roman Blues

Turn 566

Paige: Now that Rome is basically at peace, only six cities remain. It’s a depressing state of affairs. The city of Rashid even blocks off their access to both ends of their empire by sea. Rome probably will not last much longer, it’d not be shocking if Pontus decides that a bit more land would be a worthwhile gambit, or maybe Bavaria. [Caitlyn: lol no] Despite their full core, there simply are not many options left for them, except to wait for the killing blow. Rest easy Traian, your time will come soon, & you lasted longer than I expected at least.

78: A Summary of the Current North American War

Caitlyn: Tired of how the Osage have acted, Seneca decides to end their suffering, despite the Seneca having very few routes to engage in this war with. In retaliation, the Yellowknives & Ikko-Ikki decide it is in their best interest to follow suit. This is met with confusion & frustration by those in Akaitcho’s circle, & among those in various spots of power. Even if on paper they worked together, there was no way to end the Swiss cheese territories without conquest. It was an unpopular choice with the public, as they benefitted immediately from the permitted exchange of people between their countries, going back decades, so, to prevent public protest, they joined in on the war, at least in spirit. This is followed swiftly by a careful declaration of war by Goguryeo & Ikko-Ikki to be able to directly oppose Osage integrity, while also not getting into another conflict immediately. What a clusterfuck North America is.

79: Parking lot? More like a junkyard for unused units.

Paige: A previous narrator claimed that this would happen, that allowing the Wahgi to use their land as a parking lot for their military units would backfire, & prevent the Afsharids from continuing their military development, which I’m sure Nader Shah is kicking himself for. While it isn’t a death sentence, a life sentence at the end of your life is a death sentence in its own way. It’d not be shocking that based on Wahgi’s previous behavior, that they decide to pull a México on them & have an easy time of it, especially if others invade.. It’s depressing to see. Oh also the Osage made peace with Taíno.

80: Produce some more units maybe?

Turn 567

Paige: The Wahgi have peacekeepers across the entire globe, but in the North American territory of another Big Three member is somewhat embarrassing for the Faroes. While it isn’t too bad, it is awkward to see how they allowed this to happen. While they are not absurdly powerful in military or most other aspects, the Faroes are largely in such a powerful position solely because of their busted production. Their production in the previous episode was very comparable to both the Wahgi & Goguryeo combined! The issue is that they refuse to make any major moves to expand upon their empire, so we will have to see what will happen in this time, to truly decide if it is a Big Four, Big Three, or Big Two?

81: Another Flip?

Caitlyn: In the dwindling hours of a July summer night, a special operation is able to snipe the city of Qohaito, past Saba detection. While control is tenuous at best, losing even more home territory does not bode well for Makeda. The sticky days the oasis is no longer paradise, & the city must be rebuilt again.

82: The City-State of Thule

Turn 568

Caitlyn: The Ikko-Ikki received a communiqué, pushing the two to make a peace deal in exchange for access to the Yellowknives’ market. A few hours later, communication between the Thule & the Yellowknives went dark as Ikko-Ikki was able to open borders with them, allowing a larger front for them to attempt to take the city. But, in a last minute desperate plea, the Thule sues for peace, offering Qaqortoq in exchange for their final city’s survival. The Thule had attempted to make the best of their situation, but when facing Goguryeo, it proved too much, & Ikko-Ikki took advantage of their shattered army & navy early on, & was able to snipe a large amount of their North American holdings. An unfortunate fate, but not undeserved. It must be awkward for Gogut to have this ally, not that they’re not immediately screwed on the first DOW they give.

83: Skibidi Toilet Qohaito Rizz

Paige: Qohaito returns to Saba’s hands, & Aksum is looking rough. While Sabe is bringing in more troops, or rather the front is coming to them, it’s not looking good right now. Peter’s lines are thinning out a bit, & they are being refilled quickly, so if Saba is able to retake these cities & make peace, they may make it out with only losing one city, which is not the worst case scenario. My prediction is Peters takes two-three cities by the end of the war. Also Caitlyn came up with the title, don’t confuse that with me.

84: Kaoto’straphe

Paige: Seeing Seneca’s navy closing in on Kaoto’ makes any chance of the city remaining in Yellowknives hands look grim. The AI, once again, proves that they cannot fight a war without making huge strategic errors like this that will be pounced on immediately. Even with no land route due to Nundawao that’s owned by New Holland, the navy should have no issues taking the city, which is blockaded now due to poor planning. Good job, declaring wars you can’t fight really is taking you places (down in rankings).

Caitlyn: I wouldn’t say the Yellowknives are that close. But it is closer than before.

85: Going sul

Turn 569

Paige: Despite the overcommitment of troops & navy to Epuyen, it has been a terrible gambit, as basically their entire advantage has been wiped out. Caçapava do Sul also has been basically bombed so hard that just a ship could take it out at any time. There really isn’t any chance at this point to delay the inevitable, & it will be a miracle if they even have a since city remaining in this episode. New Holland has an advantage in troops, but not all where it needs to be, but Maurits has dispatched just about as many as he needs to be able to take everything. If he can keep this up & make some good moves, it may not be over for them.

86: A Night Out

Turn 570

Caitlyn: Akaitcho was in the capital, sharing drinks with diplomats & business leaders from across the world. A diplomat from New Holland asks about what the plan is with Seneca. Akaitcho avoids the question before an advisor takes him aside & tells him about the loss of Kaoto’. He shrugs & returns to his drinking, before moving into the streets. The streets were surrounded by tall buildings, almost curving around the group, almost caving in. Someone slips out a pack of half-and-half, & passes one cigarette to everyone. As Akaitcho lit it & took a deep inhale, the skunky & metallic taste filled his lung, as he quickly let out with a stiffened cough. He smiled, knowing everything would be okay.

87: Everything worth living for is worth dying for.

Turn 571

Caitlyn: Caçapava is lost. Puni saw the writing on the wall. Despite working tirelessly over the past thousands of years for his people, for the glory, he finally could feel the reaper over his shoulder. It was a familiar feeling, somewhat comforting in its inevitability, somewhat horrifying in its implications. He took a sharp inhale, & demanded his remaining troops to the capital, & to strike at Epuyen. He would not leave until the city was lost, & he would not give up. He would die as he lived, fighting.

88: Chávezismo

Caitlyn: Carlos Chávez, born out of the elite in Bavarian circles, loved music, & he loved it so much that he was always searching for new sounds & ways to make something new. In the death of the Mexican empire, a large number of refugees fled to European countries, including the Faroes & Bavaria. In this time, he was able to discover new instruments from the area, & begin to incorporate them into unique compositions with traditional Bavarian music. He would eventually lead the Bavarian National Symphony, & start to incorporate international sounds into the music played. From there, he was able to use this influence to meet with other musicians in various places, often followed by military units to keep things clear of what the government wanted him to represent.

89: One Final bit of Glory

Paige: One brave fleet takes the city once more before the inevitable comes to pass. Puni reads the message with a smile, before returning to his scowl that he’s developed the past two hundred years. Even if his navy is gone, & his nation is gone, he would be remembered as the hero he was forever.

90: Make da Mess

Turn 572

Paige: Aksum returns back to Makeda, while Qohaito flips to Peters, & this war will not be quiet for a while. It is a dynamic & competitive conflict. It won’t be if Saba cannot return troops north, as Sierra Leone’s army is finally able to bring in the elite infantry, fresh from the Roman war, in order to take control of all of Saba-Da’amat. Good luck Makeda, you will need it.

91: The Last Flight

Paige: “Last call to Collon-Cura!” the words rang across the helicopter, about to reach south as fast as it could get. Puni did not cry, but he didn’t not cry. He didn’t make a sound, but silence said more than he ever could wish to. The vociferous blades cut through these final moments as all anyone could hear. It was over, there was one home left to be in. Maybe a few nights of sleep before death comes to welcome him to what comes after. He prayed, for peace, for understanding, for all that has happened, but is answered with silence.

92: The Final Battle

Caitlyn: The helicopter lands, & Puni immediately asks for an update. Looking at how desperate the situation is, they decide to look at where else to go, but Puni halts them all. They will stay until the island is lost. Just a few hundred kilometers from where María made her last stand so long ago. It felt like just yesterday, & like a fading memory from childhood. A dying world where what joy we once felt in the simplest actions now is just enough to get by. all the joy In life was gone once they came. He made plans to defend the island one last time.

93: Mistakes Made

Caitlyn: After their white peace before, Osage had basically no chance of gaining a coastal city. This may be a blessing in some ways, as it is much, much harder to invade from a navy, but they have no power over the ocean, dependent on the Yellowknives. After the war, there was a blockade on Osage cargo passing through Taíno. This led to a cargo leaving through the Yellowknives’ Atlantic port of Kaoto’, which was working fine until there was a war between them all & Seneca, which led to the loss of that port, & blocking both off from the warm Atlantic ports. Despite the fraying relationships they have held, nothing was done, no deals struck, just keeping the elite happy as long as the economy can prop it up.

94: A dumb, dumb war.

Turn 573

Paige: Despite the pummeling of Bolgar, there’s very little chance of this war going anywhere. Neither of them can make any good moves on the others due to how narrow the frontline is without a major breakout. I don’t see it happening any time soon unfortunately, but we’ll see what happens I suppose. Also, the Kazakhs literally have tanks at this point, so that’s not great for Bukhara.

95: Current Wars

Paige: The further into the game we get, the more red this map becomes, with the blood drenching what remains of the earth before. The nations that once traded with each other, used each other as allies, & relied on each other will soon find their differences inconsolable, & recognize the necessity of violence. They will have to see how history will end once the dust settles, & a new order is founded that is unseen in any time of history.

96: It’s the food slide!

Caitlyn: The world is a more stable place these years, but still in the Faroes, people starve & in many places, food scarcity is still prominent. Only in the Caribbean is the population growing faster than ever before.

97: Ideology screen

Caitlyn: This world unfortunately is one decided by dictators without any checks on their power. It’s an autocratic world with few differences, a dark world with only a few nations that pretend to care about their people. One may pray that this world will one day be free.

98: Money money money…

Paige: One of the reasons why Goguryeo is the favorite to win is visible on this slide. It is the top power & they have the ability to field a large army without significant issues funding it. It should have a stable core & ability to take lands without many issues, especially if they can snipe wonders to help keep things stable. Despite the Faroes' busted production & Wahgi’s military, it won’t matter if they can’t sustain themselves in a war.

99: Good Times Ahead

Caitlyn: Nile Rodgers, a rising star in the music scene in Saba-Da’amat, recording disco music during the ongoing chaos. Even as times were hard, the music during their free time proved as a way to feel free from the ongoing suffering of the people. Eventually, the band he was in, Chic, would record a song called “Good Times”, that would eventually be sampled & used in people’s own music creation.

100: Worried Words of a Warrior

Paige: Patio may flip one more time, but it becomes increasingly unlikely to flip back as the Bora-Bora navy has been destroyed. There is no hope beyond the first few turns of the next episode. Johan Maurits worked with his staff in the capital, eyes red & his head turning on a dime. They discussed the plan on rebuilding Bora-Bora lands, & his mind went to all that could go wrong. The Wahgi could invade at any moment. There was no peace, even when the words of war were never spoken. There wasn’t silence in silence, only paranoid thoughts on what could happen next. What must I do next?

101: Circling Sharks

Caitlyn: “Ships. Helicopters. Soldiers. Death. It’s the end for me. It’s the end for what I’ve created. At the gravestone of where my glory shined, it will end in the same manner. I hope that my people will live without pain or suffering.”

I’ll leave a true eulogy for whoever comes next for narrating. I hope someone who can best attribute a fan favorite civ can give it a deserving parting gift. We never were the biggest Bora-Believer, but you could always respect them.

102: The Next Target

Paige: It seems that the Faroes are placing a citadel, (this happened a while ago but shhhh) splitting Midtja from the rest of their country. To me it indicates that in the next few episodes, Ume-Sámi may be the next target of Trøndur. While Rijkuo has been hiding in his lands, & not too behind technologically, they are significantly weaker than the Faroes, & they would be a prime target for expansion. Considering their difficulties in maneuvering along the Alps & resupplying, it wouldn’t be too difficult to assume this war may face some difficulties, but considering the Faroes’ highly superior navy & easily accessible coastal cities, most wars will likely be a breeze.

Sorry for such a significant delay all, we tried to make it good while dealing with a lot of personal stuff, but it ended up significantly extending writing. Hope that it’s good, & let us know how we can do better. See you all next time, it’ll be great as always.

Episode 38: The Big Three – S4

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