Episode 5: Turning Tides

1: The Number of Death: 四

Hello again to all you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, it is I, Orange/Orangechrisy/that depressed catgirl back once more with fifth episode for the fourth season running, thank you Coiot for letting me keep this tradition going (woo nepotism). Anyways life kinda sucks and I tend to fuck things up but somehow I’m graduating uni soon, woo. Who let me get this far? Who knows, but whoever it is they need to get their license revoked, or something. Anyways don’t worry there will be more nonsense like this in this episode!

So, with that out of the way, prepare yourself for an episode of incoherent ramblings, awful references, and a whole lot of bloodshed (I hope, I don’t read ahead so who knows, not me)!

2: Heard You Liked Maps

Here we have Sonicfan’s slightly misnamed episode 5 4 map showing all of the civs in all their glory besides Faroes since Greenland has sunk into the murky depths below. We have now had four episodes and four maps made by four separate people (though two of the maps were made for the start before episode 1), if this trend continues then perhaps everyone in the community will have made a map in a few seasons.

3: Nice Comic, Wonder Who Made It

Hey me, good work on this one, that joke about [thing I haven’t come up with yet] and the way you drew [civ that I haven’t decided yet]’s civball was so good, keep it up!

Also, people, make more OC! Post the random shitty memes you think up, they’re great! Make the narrators have to actually have to choose what to put here! (Also make more civball comics I like seeing ones that aren’t just my own)

4: お金

Look at all these cool people who help like pay for the website and whatnot! I hope I can get a job once I’m out of uni so I too can be on this slide.

5: The Top of the World on Top of the Rankings

I’ma be honest, I got to this slide, was like “Hehe I’m a power ranker I can just check who’s first rather than have to wait til the PRs get released to do this side”, then realized “wait I haven’t done my rankings yet and technically it should’ve closed last night”. But it’s alright Cloudy sleeps too late so I got them in, and it’s fine since I haven’t read the episode yet. :3

Anyways Faroes are kinda popping off, there were a few tests where they just dominated and had these cool as fuck empires and it seems we might be getting one of those games, yee to the haw. The memory of Iceland (bestland) runs deep.

6: Welcome to the Amazing Digital Royale!

Finally, the action, I think, well it’s supposed to be here. Instead it’s Baldwin IV, the King of Jerusalem (through conquest during the crusades) who wore a metal mask because of leprosy. What a guy. This time he’s here to help fight something much more hideous: Burgundians. The heavy forests of Germany have really made it a struggle for Bavaria to make their attack, but I can still hope. Maybe with the great general bonus they can have enough strength to push through and get units to actually surround the city. Please Bavaria, prove our initial beliefs wrong, dominate Europe like the catboy you are.

7: Esweetini

Eswatini settles a fourth city, Nhlagano, which despite the name doesn’t appear to be a major hockey city. Missed opportunity there guys. Anyways Rozvi is at peace stuck between Ndongo and Eswatini who are at war, though it’s a fairly limited war. Their main avenue of fighting is between NHLagano and Kabasa but nothing is happening there, and definitely not enough fleets for anything, or trying to squeeze through Rozvi’s cities which is also not really happening. Honestly, Eswatini should just turn and attack Rozvi at this point, take back their city, have some fun, still lose to Ndongo, just have a good time.

08: Calmations

You’re killing me Qarm, you’re killing me. You got no one around and you refuse to settle cities. LOOK AT HOW EMPTY THAT PENINSULA IS, SETTLE IT. SETTLE THE EUPHRATES. SETTLE YEMEN. COME ON MATE. Please just do something, you’re so cool why are you so bad at expanding and fighting.

09: The Two Mongols

Dzungars are sitting pretty pretty, 5 cities out and two on the way. No real threat from any surrounding civs and a nice defensible land. Though, it would be fun for them if they marched on Mongolia, united with their non-Oirat brethren, and started really making a go at a new Mongol Empire. But alas, that’ll have to wait, cause they got time, time they are using to settle.

Also Mongolia attacks Kazan, but they aren’t near each other.

10: K+20O

Maguindanao continues to knock down the walls of Kuno, and really Wahgi has no chance at stopping it. The real question is whether Maguindanao will try to go for Korn as well or if they will keep their conquest here. It would be fun to see Wahgi further knocked down though, so I’ll hope for it.

Orange Insight

Anyways, I forget if it was mentioned last episode so I want to point something out that got some discussion on the discord (which everyone should join if they haven’t wink wink nudge nudge): Maguindanao has managed to choose what might seem like middling beliefs for most, but are actually quite powerful for themselves. Namely, they get a lot more faith, though it’ll take some time to build up to. This is important because Mag gets a big bonus for having more faith per turn, all naval units get a combat bonus based on their faith output. They are currently at 82 faith per turn which is granting 8.2% strength boost, after 100 faith per turn it decreases and there is an ultimate 33% strength bonus at around 500 faith per turn I believe. While there isn’t much of a buff now (triremes get only like, +1 strength or so rn), this will just get bigger and bigger. In addition, Mag gets an extra trade route when converting a capital for the first time, and once the Kuta (their unique castle) is built they get more xp based on the number of cities of their religion. While the map is going to have so many more religions than the last royales, Mag does have a religion that is good for spreading, and they’ll be wanting to do that quickly.

So basically glory to Mag may they beat up Wahgi, settle more cities, and become the faith pirate juggernaut they are meant to be!

11: Bora

The migration to South America is in full swing! They should probably build some more settlers to secure their islands (Wahgi is slowly encroaching, as you can see with Tolu), but they should also build more settlers for South America, not like Tehuelche is using the land. But two things of note here:

1. BoraBora’s population is pretty fantastic, only Faroes have more and they have two more cities, also resource bullshit (I love resource bullshit just to be clear). So far of the slides so far the highest pop city was Mag’s capital at 12, same as BoraBoraBora’s. But BoraBoraBoraBora has a 15 pop city, definitely one of the largest on the cylinder so far. With these, they are getting a lot of science so are doing quite well.

2. Pompeii, the city engulfed by a volcano and totally not the Roman general Pompey, is here leading the BoraBoraBoraBoraBora army east to South America! It’s quite the strong army, so their lands will be very safe soon, and perhaps even can take a Big River or Tehuelche city.

12: I Haven’t Done Any Narrative Bits Yet So…

A few beaten, broken, and bloodied archers flee the falling city, their brothers-in-arms with spears cut off from them, unable to be saved. They had defended til their knuckles were red and their faces black with dirt, every inch a grueling battle against a force so large they couldn’t help but feel no hope. But they fought on, holding each bit of ground until their legs could hold on no longer. Pushed out, defeated, hungry, anger in their eyes. Their home was gone, but they were not. All they needed was a moment’s breath to be able to fight again, just a moment, they couldn’t afford anything more.

Also Thule decide rather than attacking the empty Yellowknives backside they would join the attack on Crow, who they can not reach, lol.

13: Taino Does Nothing, Again!

The cacique Guarionex, historically the son of cacique prophet Guacanagarix and someone who just kept choosing appeasement in the face of the Spaniards (seriously did he learn nothing from Chamberlain?), here looks over the Caribbean and decides, once more, on appeasement. This time it’s appeasement for Ecuadorian and North Holland expansion on the coast and a continued refusal to settle more of the islands. Someone get this guy out of here…

14: Muhammed Slaybani

Bukhara very quickly knocks down Elista to red, and it’ll definitely be taken immediately. Kazan is not having a good time and good, they shouldn’t, they had a strong spot and consistently did well but I didn’t care about them therefore it is enjoyable for me when they do poorly. Or to put it another way: Lmao.

Kalmyks also have a fourth settler out, no idea if that was here last time I’m too lazy to check, but they got a spot above them they can settle, and down south of Lagan. Hopefully they can get those settled so that they can have at least, some chance. Or they could get in on the Kazan attack, something.

Also Makhnovia is sending an army east, and okay I have had to check last episode now because the infosheet current wars tab wasn’t updated and now I can confirm that Kalmyk settler hasn’t moved since two turns ago at least. Anyways Makhnovia isn’t at war with anyone but that army is heading east in big numbers, so they will also probably join in against Kazan soon too.

15: Maximum Maximillian

MaxMex declares war on Ecuador, which will not go anywhere because Ecuador has no coastal cities, MaxMex has no boats, and nothing substantial is going through Panama. With that out of the way, Ecuador has been pretty quiet so far, but they have two settlers out so are gonna have a nice expansion boost soon. Maybe it’ll be enough to make them a decent contender, who knows.

16: Even Though We’re Adults

Johan Maurits stands at his desk in disbelief. An Ecuadorian scout? In his lands?! Preposterous. “Have them executed!” he instantly declares. And within the hour the scout is being shot at with arrows.

New Holland decides they can’t just have a settle race for northern South America where they can both settle cities, they must fight, to the death! This war will be much more dangerous for Ecuador than MaxMex.

17: Safe! (pretend I’m doing the umpire hand motion)

The Saba-D’mt settler out to the west settles Aksum on the edge of the Congo Basin, ensuring Ndongo can’t go too far east, and another settler is making its way out as well. A six city Saba, from the horrible start they had, well it’s quite impressive. Maybe they will be the power of East Africa no one thought they could be. But I’m still hoping for Mog…

18: It’s Not Bon! It’s Never Bon!

The Khoshuts have, in the midst of their settling spree, taken the time to get the religion of Bön in Dam. Presumably we will see the beliefs soon. Anyways Khoshuts have two settlers still in their lands, Harappa is finally getting another settler out and it’s looking to block Khoshut expansion west, and Dai Viet has a settler far too west for it to settle, they’ll need to figure something else out there. Honestly I’m quite rooting for the Khoshuts to do well, maybe if they can get an army out and go take that city in Bengal they can break out of the Himalayas.

20: Blergh!

Bön has eh beliefs. A lil bit of gold that the AI doesn’t really need, faster border growth which is also meh. Their pantheon is their best thing easily, since it seems they have a fair amount of copper, gems, gold, and silver. So, not great for them, gotta say. Hope someone else spreads a better religion to them. Poor Bon…

21: Puebno!

Po’pay… Come on, you’re my number one, I need you to get back out there, send that big army you have across the mountains and TAKE THAT CITY. YOU WERE SO CLOSE. AGHHH. Anyways here we see Walatowa which we didn’t see last time I don’t believe, and they got an eighth city settled over in southern California as well. Just, go take a ninth city from Osage, it’s yours Po’pay, make it so. Then maybe take a tenth in Ni-o-sho-de, just as a treat.

22: Elista Navidad

Elista falls to the Bukhara forces, a foretold conclusion. Foretold by me, like 8 slides ago, only I could have predicted this. Bukhara is looking like they have a somewhat solid empire, though with the flat lands of Central Asia who knows how quickly Kazakhstan or the Afsharids could roll up.

Kazan settler going north near Archa, Kalmyk settler also moving one tile north maybe they will do something.

23: Ludloss

Bavaria makes peace, getting nothing. *Sigh*. On a more positive note for them, they finally built another settler to send north because their southern settler has just been stuck not moving, but they might be a bit too late… There’s a Faroes settler in Denmark and if they settle where they are then Bavaria will have one spot to settle, at Hamburg, but if Faroes goes one tile south then Bavaria is completely shut off. Now if that does happen they do have one more chance, there is a spot they can settle just to their east above the foxes east of Munich. A five city Bavaria would be so nice to see…

24: KU-32+20-72

Kuno finally falls, a nice victory for Kudarat. Though their army is looking pretty deflated at this point, so it doesn’t look like Korn is in the cards. Maybe I should’ve done a Korn reference as a slide title but I don’t know anything about them so oh well.

Wahgi responds to this by building another settler, the freaks. If Mag really wants to dominate, they’re gonna need to actually compete with settlers rather than boats, but more boats is also good too.

25: An Army Of Clay

Harappa builds the Terracotta Army in Mohenjo-Daro and got like, a few units from it, cause it's not a great wonder. Well at least it makes them more prepared for if the Afsharids attack, or if they want to go fight Vijayanagara easier. Though honestly, at a previous slide there was a warrior in their lands and they don’t have one here so either they upgraded then built or had some units move, because if they haven’t moved then they really just got a whole whopping three units from it. Come on Harappa use your production more wisely.

26: Blessed Be Her Waters

Despite the actual lack of fighting on this slide, oh boy is there action. So first of all the Afsharids have another settler out preparing to settle on the Tigris and Euphrates (come on Qarm you need to build settlers your cap is 14 pop oh my goddess). They’ll get there soon and get a nice 10 cities, but not for long.

On the other side of the Fertile Crescent is the main subject, good ol’ Pontus, with a settler, and a whole lot of Scythed Chariots. The Scythed Chariot is pretty interesting, it replaces the Chariot Archer but instead has a melee attack, iron requirement, less movement, much more strength, and, most importantly, passively damages adjacent units with less experience. So these are gonna be beasts on the frontline, so that soon to be Afsharid city is going to get just absolutely ATE.

Also in this slide we see that the Mamluks finally got another settler out, they desperately need to settle some more cities to escape their fate as a two city rump with no production. They have so much land available, and sure most of it is desert, but they need to settle it now before it’s too late.

27: A Deke To The Sea

The center of Swazi hockey is under attack, from the sea! It seems I was a bit off judgment earlier, two triremes have done a decent amount of damage so far, and another one sits in Kabasa. Will it be enough to take the city? Eh, still probably not… But it might get it down to red! Maybe that spearman can distract so that the boats can get more time to hit the city.

28: Vague Vagabonds In Vagur

Vágur is settled in the middle of the Danish peninsula, winning the race for Denmark! And just devastating for Bavaria who can no longer settle Hamburg. Maybe they can send a unit up north to Sweden before Ume Sami settle it, but I doubt it. Sucks for Ludwig you needed to better use your settlers, you could’ve settled Denmark ages ago if you didn’t sit your settler in Northern Italy for so long.

Faroes is just further securing their lead, this is a great outpost and a strong forward position for any future invasion on Ume Sami, or any of the mainland Europeans really. In one of the tests I had seen, I think by Iris (hi Iris) Faroes had a great empire that went through Northern Europe and south through Africa but like skipped much of Western Europe, was funny, I hope they do it again.

29: Their Dying Breaths

A single breath was all they needed, a single breath to gather the strength to pull the string to launch the arrow to strike the Yellowknife spearman’s side to kill him where he stood. To take back their home. The spearman brother to the north followed suit, charging back into the city before arrows got him too. Yet, was it worth it? A few bows and spears in a broken and destroyed city, the sound of fire all around, the taste of blood on everyone’s lips. The stench of death in the air and in their minds, never leaving. It was horrible, but it was theirs, safe, for now, until the next push. They hoped reinforcements would arrive before they collapsed and couldn’t defend any longer, yet they could hardly finish that thought before their bodies slumped over in exhaustion. Safe, for now.

The Yellowknives don’t have any nearby melee units so it really is safe for a while, unless Crow decides to not send reinforcements at all which would be dumb but they haven’t really yet so who knows.

30: Toto, We’re Not In Germany Anymore…

One Heinz Guderian finds himself bewildered, for he’s no longer in WWII Germany, but he now finds himself in 1080 BCE in South Africa. For the German Chief of the General Staff, with no panzers in sight, and actually really a lot of people he would hate in sight, this is probably not a good time for him. But good thing he doesn’t deserve a good time, cool tanks dude but you’re still a Nazi so have fun dying.

Mogadishu struggles to figure out how to attack either Ndongo or Rozvi, and Ndongo looks to be just about out of their attack on the premier hockey rink of the world.

31: Bandar-George-Bush

Yeah that’s a reach, pretend you didn’t see that title. Anyways the Afsharids settle their city of Bandar-E-Bushehr on the Euphrates in a perfect spot that the Qarmatians could’ve had but chose not to build units you fucking idiots. Anyways already we see a Pontus archer getting hit for the first fighting of the war, with many more troops incoming. Anyways we also see the Pontus settler coming close, hoping to settle just to the north. Anyways Pontus hasn’t really moved the rest of their army just yet for some reason they really should do that. Anyway-nah that’s it.

32: Latvexpansion

So Latvia has 7 cities and two more settlers are heading to the north and just, yeah they’re looking good. It’s quite nice to see them doing well when they were expected to do so badly. But here they are, standing strong and like, second strongest in Europe only losing to the Faroes. Two more cities will help them keep that up, and prevent the further expansion of the Finns or Kazan. Though Kazan already has two settlers up north, but they are going further north to uh Idk some part of Russia north of Perm rather than to where Latvia looks to be headed.

33: No Wife, Only Friend

Shang is back to attacking Mongolia and it seems Sorghaghtani forgot the classic concept of “defend your city why are your units up near Turfan???”. So with that, Daji will take the city pretty easily. Who knows if it’ll go much further than that, last time Shang wasn’t willing to commit more troops to make such a push, but maybe the second time’s the charm? Maybe? Perhaps? Potentially? On the chance? Possibly? Please just for me?

34: Oh No Bo

Sierra Leone really should’ve seen this coming, also I maybe should’ve ranked Sierra Leone lower, I put em 14th for some reason. Guess I was just hoping they would continue some shenanigans and not be attacked, but alas. With this, Kanem-Bornu is almost certainly going to take Bo in about two turns if not just one turn, but what I find interesting is that they have started this war with a lot of units past Bo. Maybe their strategy was to block Sierra Leone units from being able to send reinforcements before the war declaration, or maybe they just thought Bo was as good as theirs already so didn’t even need to try. Either way, Bo will fall, I’m not sure what else will.

35: Is This Japan?

Ikko Ikki once again fails to figure out where Japan is on the map and instead settles on the tip of Kamchatka, close but not quite. A valiant effort, I give it a solid B-. Though, seriously speaking, their settlements outside of Japan are probably good actually, no one else has threatened to settle Japan yet so technically they are still in the clear, and getting these settlements down quickly means that they already got staging outposts in a number of continental locations. Just, they do also gotta settle Japan at some point, hopefully soon.

36: I Am Not A Cat!

Here we can see the rest of Ikko Ikki, in all their not settling Japan glory. Yoshizaki Gobo and Nagashima are both solidly defended, and it seems the other civs are going elsewhere anyways.

Gogurt’s attack on Yanshi is easily dispatched by the legendary Sun Tzu, master military strategist and author of the ever popular across the cylinder book “How to Fight Wars Good”. A classic. Truly. Shang also has three settlers out that aren't really moving, they really should get to settling more to their south and north, they have a lot of cities but who doesn’t want more?

Down south Zheng is building up quite an army it seems, and moving towards Shang with it, unluckily for him Shang has an army. Good luck if he tries (but not really I like Shang and would prefer them to win so actually bad luck to you Zheng don’t attack the foxgirl).

37: I Can See My House From Here!

We get a nice proper look at the new Pueblo city of Kewa, settled down near LA/San Diego. Pueblo have a really good core right now though could use another like two cities in the north, maybe one next to that oasis and one up near Snake River. That’d be nice. Either way, nice to see them doing so well. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY COULD BE DOING BETTER? Go send out your units Po’pay stop having them stick around Taos and Háák’u. There’s a small line heading down to that Osage city but it’s not enough, go, it should be your city by the end of this episode Po’pay! You have 60 slides or so to do it! Don’t waste it.

38: Ya Be

If Old Sarai was so good, why isn’t there a New Sarai? Huh? Ever think about that Sorgh? (Sorg? I’m not sure how it should be shortened.) But the city is now firmly in Shang hands as the two make peace (and Shang also peaces out with Gogurt). In light of this, Mongolia decides to send out another settler, east this time, maybe safer. There is a Gogurt settler also coming west at the same time, so better hope their spot doesn’t get taken first.

39: Goodbye Dystopia

Noongar don’t seem to especially like rivers, as they ignore that river close to Mandurah and don’t quite reach the other river with their new settlement of Jerramungup. At least they can still get another settler to that river. Ignore the Palawa settler in Kriwa it definitely won’t go west. Noongar do not let it go west DO NOT. Anyways a war between the two might go in Noongar’s favor right now, which would be good since if they wait much longer then Palawa will just keep getting further ahead. Maytim is not defended at all and Kriwa only has a few units, Noongar doesn’t have too many units but they have enough. They gotta start making moves now before it’s too late.

Oh I’m dumb they also settle Ballardon- out in New Queensland, that’s really nice. Seven cities is good, another one can hopefully go west of Mandurah, and they’ll have a nice competition for Palawa. But still, build one settler and go attack now.

40: Da Ba Dee Da Ba Di

Six cities, three settlers, and a bunch of Toggling Harpooners, their Composite Bowman UU. The Toggling Harpooners can move through ice, move after combat, and if they move next to an enemy unit they damage that unit. Pretty nice, if only they had someone to attack with it. Someone yellow, or off-white… Someone, not purple…

41: The Legacy of Leif Erikson

Mmm, glorious, love it. Trøndur í Gøtu decides, “well, the Seneca aren’t using the land, so I might as well.” That’s right, the Seneca have done jack shit at settling any of Canada, easily one of the worst Seneca games they could have, and instead the ever expansive Faroes decide they don’t just want a colony in Denmark, but they also want one in northern Quebec. With how little Seneca has settled, this is just the beginning of a massive North American Faroe Empire, one that doesn’t even need mass conquest to form! As one of the biggest Mk2 Iceland stans, it is nice to see the dream alive. The Faroes are a worthy apprentice.

Also Vijayanagara attacks Kazan, useless, and Kazan makes peace with Latvia with no cities traded.

42: Yukkuri War

Zheng is too slow to the draw, his army is in place but before his declaration of war can be written he receives one himself. Shang doesn’t have any units ready yet, but they have moved two of their settlers out to the southwest and look to settle, but they are completely undefended so if Zheng notices they might be able to stop them. Overall though, I think Zheng is just gonna waste more units, they wasted a ton trying to fight through the hellish path to Thang Long (like seriously, to go from Anping to Thang Long they have to cross a grassland, two jungle hills, and a marsh/hill, along with three rivers, and from Fuzhou isn’t much better. That is just, an awful war to fight. No idea how BV had thought they might be able to overpower Dai Viet when they had to go through the worst invasion terrain possible.) So with that, I think Shang is just gonna grind up their units and leave them weak again, maybe Ikko Ikki can invade this time, give them something fresh. Wasted so much production on units it would be funny if they couldn’t defend.

43: Bo Money Bo Problems

Okay so I was wrong, in two turns they have dropped Bo to, green. Not even yellow, green. I think even if they take the city I’m gonna drop them in the rankings, just a big bruh moment.

Kanem-Bornu also sends out a settler to the Congo basin, seeing if they can settle a city near Aksum, and they have a second settler just recently made. Also they decide to attack Ndongo, better get that city down quick. Speaking of Ndongo, Ndongo also settles Pungo Andongo and has a settler out ready to either go north or east.

44: Hockey Reference

Tbh half my knowledge of hockey stuff comes from an Arcane fanfic so I don’t know what other references to make other than like, saying Wayne Gretsky. The NHL capital of the world successfully defends their lands and prepares to send the puck back up the ice to see if they can score on Kabasa.

Eswatini also builds yet another settler, likely to go to Madagascar because where else can it go (though do they even have optics…? Nothing embarked yet so who knows? Wait I can just check. They do not seem to have optics, and were researching Horseback riding as of the end of last episode).

Also Saba-D’mt attacks Ndongo which won’t go much of anywhere.

45: Double House

Well, his hatred of non-aryans was so much that Heinz Guderian fled north, all the way up to Pontus, who are more white but still not quite aryan, point and laugh everyone point and laugh. We can also tell Pontus is not taking any advice from him because they aren’t doing any sort of Blitzkrieg, if anything they are just, mildly ambling around, hoping they reach their goal. Because of this, they are hardly any closer to the Afsharid cities and now their settler is in danger because they decided no actually, the upper Fertile Crescent isn’t actually cool, let’s go south into the desert instead.

Also Qarmatians peace with Kazan.

46: Siam Lanka

Rama V looks at a map of the spread of Theravada Buddhism he found somewhere, confused about what it was, but decided that since it was present in both Siam and Sri Lanka, he should go there. So two settlers have gotten dispatched to the island. Though, it seems they may be going past it, maybe their goal is the Maldives, or Arabia (not like Qarm is using it…) Either way, Vijayanagara really should’ve gotten here first, but they don’t know how to settle properly, so alas for them.

47: Regensburg Deserves A Proper Regent

The catboy king himself decides he’s had enough. His war against Burgundy failed, so now is the time to strike Royal Hungary. They keep starving their cities and Regensburg is rightfully his. Already a catapult is in position near Regensburg but will it be enough? No, he needs to send that whole army in this time. He also has his settler on the frontline, hoping to try and place it in that singular city spot that remains (and if he does that would be quite nice for being a staging ground for attack). And he also has a few spearmen attacking the northern city of Komarom, with a few more units there’s a chance he could take it but right now he can’t.

Honestly this is the most essential time for Bavaria, if he can come out of this war on top, he will have a nice path ahead of him leading into the Medieval era, but if he fails, he’s just gonna be too trapped to do much of anything.

48: Freak On A Leash

Fine, you’ve made me look up the Korn discography. Anyways, Maguidanao is taking a stab at taking Korn and seeing if they can just beat it upright. They’re here to lead the parade of triremes right up to the city walls (or lack of walls here), and see if they can make it so that everything falls apart. They might actually have a chance here, the city is coming undone and dropping to yellow, and so for Wahgi it very well could be lost.

Okay there’s like, 6 Korn songs squeezed in there? Is that good enough?

49: Patagoneia

Boraboraboraboraborabora has triremes rounding the tip and a hefty army now landed, that Big River city of Cacapava do Sul is gonna be up against quite the threat here, both a naval invasion and a land invasion. Their saving grace is that they have horsemen, their city has only one tile of water access, and uh that’s kinda it. Boraboraboraboraboraborabora is probably gonna win this, just a matter of if they take a city or not.

Also Tehuelche is here, I guess. They could use another settler, I guess.

50: A Reprieve

The last of the Yellowknife archers is chased out, the battle appears to be over. A rest, a glorious rest awaits. In between the bloodied bodies and hollowed homes lay the Crow protectors, slumped on the ground unable to celebrate the victory they achieved. But they would soon, everyone would soon. Hoisted into the air and paraded in their pitiful yet honorable state. Báhkisee would remember their guard, the fervent apostles of the northern wall. A respite from the blood, a respite that should only be taken with alcohol and celebration, it is only right. The northern border of the Crow was safe, and the Yellowknives stuck unable to go further, the war was as good as over.

51: Slow Start

The Mamluks find themselves as the third to last civ to settle a third city (Shawnee only settled two and are fucked, Rozvi settled two and took one). It’s… an alright spot I guess. I would’ve proposed south on the Nile to get the floodplains and coastal hills, so this city ain’t gonna have much production either. They really need to just get a few more settlers out now before it's too late, though at least now it’ll be harder for Rome to potentially settle the area.

On that note, Rome has two settlers out, one in Sicily and one in Greece, not sure where they will be settling but it’ll be good for them if they can get those down soon.

52: Bo Bitches?

4 turns too late Kanem-Bornu finally takes Bo, their army has no chance of breaking through the rest of the Sierra Leone line, at least the city is decent. They settled that city in the east and are still waiting around with a settler near the capital. Six, soon to be seven cities is honestly pretty decent, but uh, they got some catching up to do.

Hey, I wonder where that Alaouite army is going? I guess we’ll find out at some point.

53: Guys I’m Just Really Gay For Huntresses

The Finns pop out some of their UU, and notably not more settlers. Their UU is the Kainulainen Huntress, a composite bowman replacement which requires iron except in cities with hills during a golden age, an oddly specific requirement. They may attack twice if on coastal hills, and if they attack a Great Person or a naval unit they damage all other units of that type. Sadly for them, the Ume Sami do not have a large threatening navy they have to quickly deal with, cause it would be cool as fuck to see that.

But despite my propensity for hot capable hunter women, yeah they really need settlers. Ume Sami is a city up on them with a settler somewhere to the west I believe, and the Finns have some of the worst stats on the cylinder. Sorry, the Finns have the worst stats on the cylinder, somehow less than Shawnee. Abysmal pop, abysmal production, abysmal science, abysmal military. Maybe Bukhara can take them out of their misery with that war declaration, maybe.

54: Dege-nerate

Pretend that’s like a relevant pun or something and not just a word with “dege” in it. The Khoshuts found Dege along the Ganges river, finally, and Harappa settle Ganeriwala up north in the mountains. Both of the two have another settler out, Harappa even has two. The Dai Viet settler in the region has decided to just, stop moving, maybe they will be able to de facto settle that way. Who knows. And in the northeast Shang also settle Xixiahou, with another one on the way. The area is getting crowded, so it’s only a matter of time before war starts to break loose.

55: Im. Scatman

A better view of the Empire of the Foxladies, Zheng has founded Chikan on the frontlines but it’s not saving his troops from facing what is clearly a stronger force in bad terrain. Shang in turn has founded Xixiahou as mentioned, got a second settler that seems like it will most likely be taken, and another settler up north preparing to settle a city. Pour one out of the southern settler but like Daji really should’ve sent a protecting unit.

56: Gaymamusa

Gogurt, with an impressive eight cities and two on the way, gets out their unique unit, the Gaemamusa. This horseman replacement can get terrain bonuses and move through rough terrain (without stopping instantly), but it has fewer movement and can’t move after attacking, it also earns xp 25% faster when trained in a golden age. Is Gogurt in a golden age? I have not the faintest clue. But what I do know is that these horsemen are gonna be useful in the heavily forested north in case they get into a war with Nivkh again.

57: Woo Yeah Baby! That's What I've Been Waiting For

In response to the cruel declaration of war by the Afsharids against the poor Finns, Qarm finally, finally, makes a move, attacking the newly founded city of Bandar-e-Bushehr. I told them at the start to settle the Euphrates and it seems they’ve decided that means “let someone else settle and then take it”, which is remarkably in brand for them but not what they need really. Well, as long as they keep it.

The Pontus Settler sneaks away over Jordan, and away from the blessed floodplains of the twin rivers. Maybe they just like hills a lot more, or maybe they hate floodplains. Who knows. They also have their army struggling to just, walk across a desert. I’m blaming this one on hiring a nazi as a general, not their best move.

58: パチパチパチャ

There is approximately 1 tile between Lukurmata, Tiwanaku, and Wankane that can be settled, the empty hill, The Big River settler is two away, the Tiwanaku settler is three away. This would be so funny.

Tiwanaku settled Ojjo in the north and have a second settler near the Boraboraboraboraboraboraborabora procession but I hope they send it another way to not block my bois.

In the far north New Holland and Ecuador are coming to light blows after Ecuador founded their city, and New Holland decided they actually needed three settlers up there to help the fight and not found cities themselves.

59: South American Fa’ennui

Big River has three settlers out right now, one between Tiwanaku and two more just sitting around, and at this point unless they go around other civs they can’t settle. So honestly they need to get a move on with that military, the Tiwanaku cities could be taken, or the Boraboraboraboraboraboraboraborabora ones (though less now they are reinforcing heavily), or even Saint Louis. But if they just stand still, they’ll never get anywhere.

60: Sousou no Johan

Ecuador founds the cities of Ibarra not quite on the coast and Latacunga on the coast, their first one. They even still got one more spot they can go in the north, and could potentially try for the southwest. But probably more important to them right now is the large New Holland army marching up to Ibarra. Honestly they will probably be fine, the terrain is rough and there’s a lake in the way, so I’d just send a few units over and get back to settling.

Also with the settling of Latacunga, a potential Panama Canal is off the table, maybe if one of it or San Antonio gets razed…

61: I Seem To Have Forgotten Key Information From Last Episode

So that’s why their attack was so shit, they were going after the Kalmyks, and the Kalmyks decide to send in reinforcement settlers. Not really the play but let’s see how it goes. Lagan has a good chance of falling. They also have a chance to snipe Bandar-e-Bushehr if they do some sneaky moves but please don’t, I want Qarm to have at least a bit of success.

Pontus also founds Trapezus, named after Jesus’ bodybuilder brother, on the coast of the Red Sea. Should’ve been your land Qarm, should’ve been yours.

(If anyone makes fun of me for forgetting that Pontus and Kalmyks were at war I will cry.)

62: Vampeerz

Straubing manages to be founded, slotted right in between all the surrounding cities. Royal Hungary’s forces probably won’t be able to do anything to it, so Ludwig should be fine there, but he needs to start killing off troops before he gets overrun. He has more production so it should be fine, but just, he has to do it before Elizabeth beats him again. Now I’m all for vampiric women beating me, but I do want Ludwig to win at least. So get your act together and go fight.

63: Cyangtse

Oirat fight! Oirat fight! The Khoshuts most unfortunately placed city, one completely blocked off by mountains from themselves, is getting attacked by the king of cool Gucci Khan. With only two units defending, it’s probably gonna be an easy capture, unless the Khoshuts are able to funnel enough units in to impede the attack enough to somehow stop it. But that’s unlikely. Also be lucky I didn’t make a gyatt joke or something.

64: I AM THE HOLDER OF THE FUTURE THE WEAVER OF LIFE

25 slides ago I asked if Old Sarai was so good, why wasn’t there a New Sarai, and boom, new Sarai. The Mongols took the people fleeing the capture of Old Sarai and just, deported them off to the east, to a hopefully better location.

Also Shang and Gogurt continue to move their settlers up.

65: The Future Is Bulletproof, The Aftermath Is Secondary!

al-Jannabi does it, he takes the city, and he’s looking to maybe make a push towards Shiraz, all while the Afsharids still just have sent no units to defend at all. If they can take Shiraz that would be so good and give them a nice position here, though one that would still be stronger if they figured out how to build settlers.

The Afsharids have an on paper powerful empire, but honestly it's feeling like it's a paper tiger, or just a turtle. Shiraz looks like it’ll fall soon, and Tabriz would be easy for Harappa to snag. Pushing into the rest of the Afsharid core might be hard but it doesn’t feel like the Afsharids are looking to put their military outside the mountain.

66: Gone Fishing

Predictably the Selkup-Kazakh war ends with nothing (and so does the less relevant Selkup-Bukhara war). Instead, Vonya gets up, puts out a sign saying he’s out, and heads out to the rivers. “Nothing a good ol’ day of fishing can’t solve,” he says, for the 5,000th day in a row. What is a leader if not the fishing rod directing the line of the nation to its goals in the fish? Can’t go wrong with fishing.

The Selkups got two settlers out, plus recently settled Varz Kara up on the Arctic Sea, and the Dzungars have a settler looking to set down near to the Selkup capital.

67: Praise The Sun!

The Wahgi have built the Gate of the Sun in their capital of Mount Hagen, which grants +3 gold and +1 food on lake tiles (of which they have none) and +15% growth in all cities, along with a merchant specialist slot. Sadly the irl creators of the Gate of the Sun, the Tiwanaku, didn’t get it.

68: The Jungle Is A Spook

We get a nice shot of the middle of Africa, and Kanem-Bornu’s latest city of Nkongsamba, settled just outside of the Congo Basin in a nice spot. Though very undefended right now, if Saba-D’mt wanted they could try to attack and if they sent enough units they could even take it.

The Alaouites also send a settler into the Sahara, maybe going for that big patch of Incense.

69: Glasses are really versatile.

Copypasta Meme (totally not the real title)

First, you can have glasses-wearing girls take them off and suddenly become beautiful, or have girls wearing glasses flashing those cute grins, or have girls stealing the protagonist's glasses and putting them on like, “Haha, got your glasses!” That's just way too cute! Also, boys with glasses! I really like when their glasses have that suspicious looking gleam, and it's amazing how it can look really cool or just be a joke. I really like how it can fulfill all those abstract needs. Being able to switch up the styles and colors of glasses based on your mood is a lot of fun too! It's actually so much fun! You have those half rim glasses, or the thick frame glasses, everything! It's like you're enjoying all these kinds of glasses at a buffet. I really want Luna to try some on or Marine to try some on to replace her eyepatch. We really need glasses to become a thing in hololive and start selling them for HoloComi. Don't. You. Think. We. Really. Need. To. Officially. Give. Everyone. Glasses?

Coiot wouldn’t let me put that whole copypasta as the title :( This is literally 1849. Anyways the Shang settler gets ganked and the Zheng military continues to be ineffectual.

70: The War Must Go On

Woken from their needed slumber, the Guardians of Báhkisee are forced by the high command to continue the fight, this time on the offensive. The city of Ti Cho is the target, just to the northeast. They had their too-short rest, now they must go on. It is their duty to fight until their limbs break and their souls escape from their bodies. It is their duty to fight for those above who run the state. Why must it go on? Because that is the way it is. All they get is a moment. Breathe in. Breathe out. Release. Hit. All they need is a moment. When will it ever come?

The Yellowknives decide, instead of settling, to turn their settler back towards Ti Cho to help defend, not really the best idea tbh. They also get another settler out in their capital but no indication of where it's going yet. The Thule also have a settler heading towards the Yellowknives border so things are gonna be a bit cramped there soon.

71: The Osage Defense

The Osage have held well, the Seneca have been thoroughly pushed back, and Mo-he-ag-agra is back up to full health. But Pueblo is now, finally, marching their army on Osage, though maybe it’s too unfocused right now and the small defense around Ni-o-sho-de will chip at it while it tries to get to Mo-he-ag-gra, but they could also just take the city and then move on the capital and take that too (ideally). They also got a settler coming along, there might be a place to settle east of Mo-he-ag-gra but I’d have to check a slide with a different angle, and there is space east of it, but there’s no other potential space between them.

Tribhuwana Wijayatunggadewi, here to help the helpless Shawnee state, was the third monarch of Majapahit and her rule included a massive expansion effort, with the help of Firaxis’ Gajah Mada. They chose the military general rather than the queen for the base game, sad.

72: Is That A Motherfucking Settle?!?!

Qarms have done it again, they built a settler, only took them 80 turns, and then settled in southern Oman. Finally, the time is now, Qarm to the moon, Qarm to the sun, Qarm to the fire burning through the last days. Now just, keep that up. Get another city on the tip of Oman, settle Yemen, settle Arabia, get it all locked down before Pontus or Saba-D’mt get involved.

73: Camblam

There is a highlight for Qomizitha, a Swazi Ngwenyama, their unique great general that triggers a We Love The King Day when born and allows adjacent melee units to do a ranged attack before doing their normal melee attack. Qomizitha is just a monarch of Eswatini there is no Wikipedia page on them so that’s all the info you get.

More importantly, Ndongo founds Cambabe right in the midst of the Mog army. A bit of a bold play but it’ll probably be fine.

74: Araga’s Domain

Palawa found another city in the land of the kiwis, this time it's Takayna. They could fit a good three more cities on the islands, but that might take a while. Though they do have another settler at their capital.

75: The Royal Navy

The British fleet has arrived to attack Emerita, poorly, only got one tile of water access, they’d have better luck going a bit further south and attacking Barcino. Meanwhile the Visigoths have gotten their Gardingo UU, replacing the horseman the Gardingo yields culture when promoted, gains a level when present for the founding of cities, and may settle cities with all military buildings available at level 4. Now, sucks for them but they can’t settle anymore in Iberia. That settler in Asturias can’t settle because Asturica is too close, there’s nowhere to settle on the northern coast, and there’s also nowhere to settle around Toulouse in France. If they want more cities they are gonna have to start crossing the oceans, but they got no navy to speak of.

76: 5 Diamond Profit

It’s Sahara time as the Alaouites get down another city of Agadir to go with Salé, in addition a Roman settler looks to be heading to the Libyan coast to join the fray. The Mamluks though do not seem to want to get in on this, sucks for them.

There’s also the Alaouite army that’s crowding around the Niger river, seemingly to attack one of the two civs, but kinda going in between. Maybe Ismail just wants to stop the fighting.

77: IT’S HIIIIIIIIIGH NOON

YES THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR! THE AUSTRALIAN DEATHMATCH, THE NO HOLDS BARRED SMACKDOWN OF THE CENTURY! On one side of the continent we have Yagan’s Noongar, here with a hefty force of mostly consisting of archers and Gidjiboryls, which replace the spearman and cost no movement to pillage, along with doubling stolen civilians, they have Maytim already surrounded. In the other corner is the Tarenorerer’s Palawa, down on land but up on the sea, Tarenorerer is gonna want to play safely so that her superior production can kick off, and her’s also gonna want to get that settler to safety QUICK otherwise that’s just two civilians for Noongar. This is certainly a battle for the ages folks.

78: You Okay Patrick?

Ume Sami decide “Hey fuck you Bukhara only we get to attack the Finns” and attack Bukhara. Really, these two are just in a love-hate relationship, and we stan rivals-to-lovers and also rivals-and-lovers here so I hope they enjoy their relationship. In the meantime though, Ume Sami settle Likssjuo in the south, got another settler soon to settler the tip of Sweden, and another settler heading north to the Fjords. In addition Latvia is getting a settler near to St. Petersburg. The Finns are really just running out of space to expand, it seems they are gonna be stuck as shit forever.

Also Sierra Leone makes peace with Kanem-Bornu and Florida makes peace with Osage, no cities change hands.

79: Hold The Line!

Bavaria has done good on defending Straubing, preventing it from being damaged, but they haven’t really done much of an offensive at all. They’ve just dwindled their forces without making a proper move, deciding to make peace rather than continue the fight. Sucks for them since they had just gotten Ferdinand Foch on board, the Supreme Allied Commander on the Western Front during WWI. He led a number of important defenses against the Germans and led the Hundred Days Offensive that won the war. Now he’s here, working for the Germans, unable to plan out his next war winning move.

80: Look Dad It’s The Good Kush

War has broken out between Harappa and Bukhara over the Kush, both civs are sending settlers towards Afghanistan and it seems Harappa really doesn’t like that Bukhara is doing so. There will be little fighting here, but it’s likely that Harappa is going to be able to secure the area for themselves at least.

81: Dead Bodies Everywhere

Well, they couldn’t quite do it, they got so so so close, Korn is down to the deep red, but they just didn’t build enough boats, it’s all wrong. C’mon Mag this is like your thing, boats, so embrace them! Wahgi in turn decides to say fuck dying and instead sends out settlers, trying one more time to settle the spice islands and assert that they are here to stay. Or maybe two more times, they got two settlers in the area, and Mag has just no fleets to stop them before they can reach safety.

82: Nearly Gyone

Gyangtse falls to black and there’s a warrior right outside the gates, no getting away from this one. The Khoshut people in the city are gonna end up coloring the mountains red with how there’s no escape. The Khoshut attempt to go through the mountain path just didn’t materialize at all, who knows what they’re doing at this point.

With the Dzungars about to solidify their hold over the Tarim Basin, they have a real nice protected core, these cities are hard to get to except through Irtysh, and the floodplains and hills make the region pretty strong. Dalgan Khan must be feeling good about himself, and maybe start planning his next move for Central Asian domination (kinky).

83: Don’t Anger The Dutch

Big River, rather than settle that one spot in between the Tiwanaku cities, instead pulls that settler back and sends another one to a gap on the New Holland coast, settling Porto Alegre and not even getting the gold two tiles away. It’s good that they are getting more cities down but really, they still don’t have enough. Porto Alegre would fall to New Holland instantly unless Big River manages to take Saint Louis quickly, and that’ll be hard with the terrain.

84: Endless Arrows

Breathe in. Breath out. Fire. The lake straddling city gets hit with their arrows, but arrows are not enough to take the city. Breathe in. Breathe out. Fire. Their fingers calloused, hard like stone. Their arms ache, every pull of the bowstring bringing pain to their overworked muscles. Breathe in. Breathe out. Fire. Why are they still here just to suffer against an endless enemy? Their arrows near useless against the walls of Ti Cho, the only harm is to their own bodies. Breathe in. Breathe out. Fire. They can never stop, not as long as the command exists. They must repeat their actions over and over, the bows made to be part of their bodies, an amalgamation of wood and fiber and flesh. Breathe in. Breathe out. Fire. No rest for the saviors.

The Yellowknives found Necha Go Do on the coast of Lake Superior rather than on the Hudson Bay, and it’s immediately harassed by a few Crow units. They also settle Ek’ati Ndi on the northern coast. Thule is also sending over settlers, three in fact, and honestly they might just be easy pickings for the Yellowknives. That lake, either Great Bear Lake or Great Slave Lake, is gonna make it hard for Thule to reinforce these cities, and they’re right next to the Yellowknives capital.

85: Who Needs Cities When You Have Faith?

The Taino continue to not settle cities and instead enhance Catholicism. They got a fair amount of units but uh, units are useless when you have no one to attack and you refuse to expand. Maybe they can use their triremes to attack Florida or something.

With the lack of Taino settlements both MaxMex and New Holland decide they want some of the Caribbean. Maybe this is the chance the Taino are looking for to expand, become the military behemoth they were meant to be. Like, they have three Caciques already, which replace the Great General, so uh, go use them?

86: Step Right Up

Mayday in Maytir as it falls quickly to yellow and looks to soon fall, nothing really can stop it now. But Palawa thinks they will follow what so many others have done so far, and bring back their settler so it can help in the fight. Like there’s a spot to settle up next to that Vijayanagara trireme, but no, they gotta bring the unit directly next to multiple Noongar units. Brilliant planning. Pinjarra is also taken down to green by the Palawa navy, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough, Noongar has some boats they can fight with along with an archer shooting down, but Pinjarra has two water tiles of access so they might be able to overwhelm.

87: Got A Burr In Your Side

We also get a nice closeup of the Noongar UI, the Cold-Fire Grounds, which yields +1 food and will periodically pillage adjacent land tiles and yield culture when doing so, and if the pillaged tile has no resource a random animal resource will spawn there. Their UA also gets benefits from this, as repairing pillaged improvements gives a burst of food. All three of their uniques involve pillaging, it’s quite nice. Palawa also has some pillaging in their UA, as pillaging trade routes and improvements can upgrade the pillaging unit and grant a tech boost if the enemy has discovered the unit’s upgrade, though Palawa has more techs than Noongar so I doubt that will come into play here.

Also while here, Latvia peaces with the Finns for nothing, Rome peaces with Sierra Leone also for nothing.

88: By The Gods!

We get a look at the new Taino religious beliefs here, their pantheon and enhancer mean that Catholicism will be pretty expansive, the Mathas/Mandirs is a nice building to boost their science, their other follower gives production, science, and faith for temples and courthouses. And their founder gives some nice faith. Taino will be getting a lot of faith, and will be able to spread that faith quite far, but all of the meaningful bonuses will be something everyone can feel.

89: Religion Map!

Don’t believe we’ve seen this yet, but it’s the religious map! Here we can see how there’s little religion going on in Europe, only the Ume Sami have something really and it’s stuck up north. Africa has some religions that haven’t expanded at all. Northern Asia is super empty. Both Australians got their own but have yet to expand. South America also remains unexpanded.

The religions of note are clearly Dai Viet’s Mahayana which is really expansive and it doesn’t even seem to be enhanced yet, but they get a lot of faith from their marshes and are using them to spread to Siam and Zheng. And Pueblo’s Kachina which has expanded to all of Pueblo’s many cities though not much else yet, they have two buildings which is always good and some other nice bonuses. These two religions have a huge head start on everyone else, the only other major one is Ume Sami who will probably be able to expand a lot due to the lack of anything else in Europe.

90: Governments I

A bunch of civs are becoming kingdoms, though Wahgi has decided to let the Commons be the dominant faction rather than the Nobility.

91: Governments II

We also have a horde, peasant republic, republics (? maybe consulates? Idk), and some theocracies.

92: Governments III

Whole lot of tribal governments, some with dominant factions! The Mamluks and Thule have a priesthood despite no religion.

93: Governments IIII

Same to Rozvi and Gogurt.

94: Governments IV

Now this section has a lot of dominant factions, we got the priests, the populists, the nobility, the peasants, and whatever the settlements mean. It’s amusing that Royal Hungary is currently dominated by peasants and not the royals.

95: Governments V

And the last of them, the Makhnovists decide that actually Oligarchs are pretty sweet (they are wrong, glory to mother anarchy!). And also we’re here, with our “Tribe In-Exile”, though I think we should have our own special government: The Watchers, ruled by Nebby, we exist outside the notion of government, we are merely watchers to the fun.

96: Fall For Me And Dye Me Red

Burgundy is sitting pretty with 5 cities and two settlers that could go settle Brittany but instead choose not to because why would they do that? They also have a great prophet that they are yet to use, but it would likely be quite good for them given the previously seen lack of religion in Europe. But they do have Sennacherib, the second king of the Sargonid Dynasty of the Neo-Assyrian Empire. He fought with Babylon a bunch and therefore he’s an enemy to us. Down with Sennacherib! Down with the Neo-Burgundian Empire!

97: Bring Back The Anarchy!

Makhnovia faces a double declaration from both Latvia and Pontus, both of whom are a danger. But it looks like to start things are going well, Ekaterinoslav is already taking damage and shouldn’t be too hard to capture given that reinforcements can not reach it and it’s all flat land between it and the other Makhnovist cities. And Rezekne is quickly being surrounded and hopefully taken unlike last time. Makhnovia also has a settler in a valid spot to settle so they better do that before the Kalmyks click the button first. This is a bad move for Latvia, they are quite strong but their units just aren’t in the right places to defend, and the land between the two empires is too forested for them to defend quickly. Makhnovia can also put the two cities into anarchy while their units are nearby, making it so they won’t be able to produce defenses themselves. Things are really turning around for the anarchists :3

98: どこ見てんだよ

The (Zhe-Sha)*ng war is going nowhere, as predicted. In the meantime, Dai Viet is continuing to convert Zheng cities, and they settled the new city of Hai Phong in Yunnan, and are sending another settler out to the Philippines. But already there is Zheng! Not there is Maguindanao, who started in the Philippines, who isn’t building settlers to settle their own island, like an idiot (Ikko Ikki don’t think you’re off the hook I’m watching you if you let someone else settle Japan I will defenestrate you).

99: The Blue Star On That Day

The Dzungars take Gyangtse, there’s nothing Gucci Khan can do about it. Should’ve protected your indefensible city a bit now shouldn't've you? Gucci Khan responds by continuing to meander around a settler in his east rather than settling the western Himalayas.

Also it seems despite declaring the war, Harappa has backed off from Afghanistan and is just letting Bukhara walk in their settler. Bold move, let’s see how it plays out.

100: Atlantis Northern and Sante Fe Railway

A nice shot of MaxMex where we can see that they have founded the city of Santa Fe off the coast, and are sending another settler out into the gulf. MaxMex is doing really well for themselves honestly, so keep it up.

Also here we can see Pueblo having another settler in California, maybe it’ll go down Baja California, or go back and grab that spot around the Mohave, or maybe it’ll go west off to Hawaii, that’d be fun. They also have concentrated their army towards the Osage capital rather than try another attempt at Mo-he-ag-gra.

101: Draw!

The Palawa settler is taken, Maytim falls easily, and the offense against Kriwa begins. Things are looking really good for Noongar here, Palawa has just no land units at all and so Noongar can sweep through Kriwa and then maybe even go further, but taking Kriwa will solidify themselves as the leader of the continent, at least for now. The Palawa attack on Pinjarra, their only real move, is getting bogged down, a Noongar trireme has gotten in the way and they got two archers off the shore that can shoot, I don’t think they’ll take it. This is not going well for Palawa at all…

102: Uh, Wrong Place

And we end this episode off with uh, nothing particular, just the shot of the three Thule settlers trying to get closer to Yellowknife territory and I guess potentially go past it. There totally isn’t anything about the Qarms taking Shiraz like the absolute BEASTS that they are, LET’S GO, THE FERTILE CRESCENT IS YOURS ABU, WOO! Also the Báhkisee Saviors are there but this is the last slide so it will be a bit too much if I do another narrative bit for them, just keep them in your memories.

Now, some things not quite covered in the narration that are on the map:

Obviously Qarms taking Shiraz (let’s go)

New Holland settling north of Tiwanaku, but no progress against Ecuador

Gogurt founding a city to their west, and Nivkh founding a city on the Arctic coast, while Shang still hasn’t settled their northern settler

Faroes found another city on the northern Quebec coast

Selkups found another city to their northwest

With that, thank you for listening to my rambles (though I think I didn’t do as much as I could’ve, I blame feeling bad while writing this), I hope this was enjoyable. I’ve been Orange, and I’ll see you again sometime later in the season (you can’t get rid of me).

Boraboraboraboraboraboraboraboraborabora

Episode 5: Turning Tides – S4

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