Epiosde 8: Fighting Over Ruins

1: A Train Stops in the Cylinder

Hello again to another trip to everyone's favorite showing of baffling ai mistakes, drama, city gifting. (why Jim Medicine... why...). Our name is Lynn(Winn), also known as Train Gang if you've seen us on the discord server, & this episode, we'll be narrating this tragic show that your favorites are probably losing. This time around, it'll be two of our headmates taking different sections of the cylinder, namely, Caitlyn & Paige. If you aren't familiar with systems, I advise you to check resources like Pluralpedia, or ask on the discord server. In short, think of multiple different people with different thoughts & desires within the same body.

A bit about us: we’ve been following CBR since middle school, but only joined the discord in 2019, & followed CBRX 1-3 on & off. Now we’re fulfilling our childhood wish of actually narrating one of these episodes. It is our first time narrating CBRX, even if we have a few times in other Civ communities. With that out of the way, I'll let Caitlyn take the next slide.

2: Gotta go fast!

Caitlyn: It’s lovely to be in the cylinder again, this time with a fantastic map made by Sonicfan0511. Thank you for everything you’ve done, seriously these maps are a wonderful resource for everyone here. There are still many spots to settle, but the map is quickly filling up. My mind always wanders to how people living in Civ games would interpret everything, how they see the world. It’s part of why we love narrative bits so much, so we’ll try to provide those for you all.

3: The Icko-Ikki

Paige: Now, for this week’s OC, is Orangechrisy’s Pacific Pals comic, commenting on the nature of the Shang war, & Zheng’s all too common fate of invading Vietnam. It’s always lovely to see what our girlfriend comes up with for these every week. Personally, we have a soft spot for Ikko-Ikki, though Zheng is finding itself in a strong position this game.

4: Like What You See? Support the team on Ko-Fi!

Caitlyn: Anyone who has followed CivBattleRoyale knows how deeply the team loves this project, & it has been going on for long enough that it was a part of our childhood. Unfortunately, not everything can run off of passion alone, if you have anything to spare, please, support the team here & help CBRX keep running!

5: War on All Fronts

Paige: Kazakhstan is not in a great position to start this episode, but let’s not forget that they are a very strong contender at the moment. The advance in Aktobe is anything but a rapidly changing front, & if they prove to be resourceful, they may just cinch this part, & survive for another day. But it is Civ V AI, so, who knows what they’ll do?

Caitlyn: Perhaps they’ll have some impressive moves & catch us off guard. I don’t know, we’re going in blind.

6: What the Buck?

Caitlyn (L): Starting out at two of the region’s favorites: the Faroes & the Ume Sámi. The Ume Sámi have done an ambitious & arguably credulous forward settle (Jokkmove) next to the Faroe capital (Tórshavn ★). As much of a Ume Sámi fan we are, there’s not much chance that such a city is not doomed with such a strong navy staring down the new settlement, especially with how lackluster the Ume Sámi navy is. Regardless, imagine a Faroese-Sámi pidgin, that would probably sound so cool. The Faroe unique building, Seyðamaður, replaces the stable, & provides +2 Food for each 'edible' Bonus Resource, and +1 culture from every bonus resource. Upon construction, two sources of Sheep appear nearby. Along with their

7: Watch Your Steppe

Paige (P): Any hopes of a quick Selkups war seems to be in vain, as the siege of Aktobe stalls about as much as it did in the last episode. The AI is again, falling for the classic blunder of failing to commit to one city at a time. Heck there are barely any Selkup units within the city borders as most move south to Astana ★. Meanwhile, it seems that the Kazakhs have to continue their settler spree, while they ramp up defenses across the frontline.

L: Aisha, wife of an influential cult, has been active in politics for a while, but seeing as the assault on Atkobe, she sees potential in helping the siege to gain a political advantage in the largely uncooperative Selkup settlements that barely worked together. If she succeeded, she may be able to commend a unified front of the tribes, able to unite them under a government.

08: Sometimes I cannot take this place

L: Noogar finally is manning a reasonable assault upon Minj, & I can expect a loud “wah!” from those in the back in fear of the ongoing siege. I feel most in the audience can see how dire the situation is for our favorite austronesian pals. Faced on two fronts, & fighting tooth & nail in a back & forth over KoЯn.

George Dewey, clever as he is, has used the largely disconnected islands as ways to cause disruption for the Maguindanao navy. Using the small islands outside of KoЯn, Dewey has set up long range projectiles to cause additional damage to Maguindanao ships, mislead, & distract them. Some of these have included flammable materials, setting some ships ablaze, hurting their assault on the city. Now her just has to get around to figuring out Noogar’s weaknesses…

09: #armed-african-agitations

P: The Alaouites declare war on Sierra Leone; actually, it seems to be a coalition against them including the Ndongo, & Pontus, for some reason. While it seems like a tricky situation, it definitely doesn’t seem like a killing blow to the young nation, but the Baarle-Nassauesque border may be a challenge for both parties in this conflict. At the same time, Kanem-Bornu has been another victim of a coalition war of both Mogadishu & Saba-D'mt!

Also Mexico & Ecuador decide to lay down their arms.

10: Put a York in it!

L: While Norwich is certainly flippable, long term it seems unlikely for any meaningful hold from the Burgundians, meanwhile York is looking more unstable by the day. Those trireme next to a city with so many adjacent sea tiles makes it easy to take the city & flip it back & forth.

P: I’d not be so sure, this could be a rather unfortunate situation for both parties here. Burgundy is in a really rough spot, not ever having any chance to actually recoup & rebuild. Not that England is faring much better.

11: Naoe what?

P: The Makhnovia front seems largely stable, & without many troops committed on either side for any front advances. The Hungarian front is a bit more active, but not active in any major way.

L: Naoe Kanetsugu had some brave ideas, ignoring the war. Lead pointless assaults to coax the Hungarians into open conflict, but never so far as to lose anything significant. In this position, he can be both general & a local politician, able to live both lives concurrently, while using the advantages of both.

12: Sabaddabbadoooooo!

L: Now that we get to see the frontlines of this war, Makeda’s advance towards Nkongsamba is definitely something to be scared of. Hopefully they do not make the same mistakes as seen in Aktobe, & can get a quick & successful war. The Ndongo settler seems to be confused where it is supposed to be going, while there are many places left to settle in Africa, Saba-D’mt is not the direction you should be going.

P: Also Siam & Dai Viet join the fray, for some reason.

13: Sea Tigers

P: The Faroes have built Paro Taktsang! In our world is a Tibetan Buddhist site in Bhutan that has two legends, & is colloquially called the “Tiger’s Nest” due to the nature of the legends. In addition, one legend declares Padmasmabhava was reincarnated as Tenzin Rabgye. It was transformed into a meditative site & modern day is a temple for Tibetan Buddhists.

L: While outside the reaches of the city, a local cultist found himself, away from all of the humdrum of the hard life many Faroese people lived, & closed his eyes. As he sat in the cave, he felt something change in him, he began to see visions covering his entire vision. Dragons of orange & black stripes, krakens, & all sorts of creatures flying around him, mocking him. The sounds & words they made were enough to deafen a poor passerby, but he sat. He let nothing enter his mind that they said, & allowed what happened to happen. Slowly, one by one, the creatures fell to the ground, & became walls, floors, & furniture. It was as if a temple had created itself.

14: Qom & Get it

L: In an act of revanchisme, Eswatini declares war upon the Rozvi in an attempt to reclaim Lobamba. While the city is well defended, if Mdluli is able to fight well, I can see them taking the city back. They do have an advantage with their great general replacement, the Ngwenyama, being Qomizitha at this time. Harappa declares a useless war on Kanem-Bornu, as well. A bit of a spoiler, but this is the only shot of the war we will see in this episode, so you’ll have to see what happens next time.

15: The Mane Act

L: As the siege of Aktobe ran day after day, week after week, & month after month, the troops on the Selkup side found themselves restless, unable to focus or commit with full effort. During the siege, many civilians from the Kazakhs have fled, & those who escaped the wrath of bored soldiers marched north in hope of finding new hope & safety away from the raging conflict. Despite Aisha’s best efforts, she has stayed away from the frontlines to help tend to political affairs. This war, while still killing, seemed to be slowing to a halt. On the southside, the Kazakhs have bravely fended off any Bukharan advances.

16: The Final Prophet

P: Mogadishu has flourished with the introduction of Sunni Islam; the city shines with monuments standing as tall as the heroes they represent, made of gold & wrapped with leaves, fruits, staple crops. & from there, missionaries move west & south, spreading the word of this great religion to all that will listen. & with them, come gifts of as fresh of crops as they can access. In the capital, preparations of a monument to the nation & faith are being discussed & debated. Mogadishu has reformed their religion.

17: Imagine not Being Ambidextrous

P: Sunni now has the “Lord’s Right Hand” enhancer belief, adding +8 faith & production each to national epic. It is a decent belief, but many of the other beliefs are certainly more useful.

L: Oddly fitting to be the right hand historically & culturally speaking.

18: The Young Mighty One

L: With the end of the war with Mexico, the heavily trained troops have a new star rise above the rest, one Huayna Capac. As a refugee from the Tiwanaku after escaping the grasp of an assassination, & fleeing to Ecuador, he was able to show strength in training & strong leadership. In the rush to find positions to fill the gaps in Ecuadorian leadership roles, Tiwanaku was picked to be a leading star in the campaign. Now, however, he must wait longer to shine the greatest days of this empire.

19: Some Uncertainty in the Minj

P: Yeeouch, I was not expecting that! Noogar had this invasion in the bag, & threw it away at the last moment. While it is a sad show for the Noogar fans, I wouldn’t rest easy if I were a Wahgi fan, as these two front wars have been a drain on resources that could have been spent settling, expanding, & building up armed forces. This brief reprieve may have saved them for now, time is still unclear what the fate of the Wahgi will be. Seriously Noogar, what the heck?

L: I’d like to think that Dewey was able to convince the armada to block their own supply lines.

20: Thy Kingdom Come

L: We get our rare government overview, it really is such a fascinating lil’ mod for us to see. The nobility seems to have been set to be the major leaders of many kingdoms here, with a few exceptions.

21: Vox Populi

P: We also see populists taking the stage for many of the world's republics. In such an early part of the game, as the map is filling up, it may be as good of a time as any for the world governments to create a solid foundation of their identity & politics moving forwards.

22: Who Knew You Had to Read?

L: I actually don’t know how this mod works fully, so I will keep pretending that I do know :3

P: Hold on, I’ll look this up so that others not familiar with the mod can understand what’s going on.

23: Five Minutes Later

P: The mod shown here is JFD’s Sovereignty, which is a very fun approach & add. Alright, so in short, each civ has the ability to enact different political reforms that are restricted by how much sovereignty you have, & the political factions in your legislature. It is an extremely in depth mod part of JFD’s collection.

24: This Mod is Actually so Cool

L: Before we narrate next time (hopefully we are allowed to), we are going to take an indepth look into this mod & find out how each different aspect works for this, partially curiosity, partially wanting to use it as something to fill slides like these.

25: Cait Will be Using this

P: As a note, for narrators in the future, this could definitely be a thing to reference for fun narrative bits if you want to explore having some more in depth discussions & detail for your slides, fun way to add details.

26: Tritreme Tumbles

L: Norwich flips! Not a shocking turn of events, as I had said it was doable with three sea tiles & four triremes right nearby, but it is at this point a war of attrition. Both armies & navies are drained significantly, & one or the other will have to throw in at some point. My prediction is that York will remain under English control, but Norwich will end up as part of the Bungundian fold. Also, what are those Burgundian settlers doing?

27: Lessons Learned

L: Very rapidly, D’mt takes over Nkongosamba, & with the barren front, I don’t foresee Kanem-Bornu flipping the city back. It seems that Saba isn’t making the same mistakes as other nations in the cylinder, & has much potential for being a major power in Africa, if this war continues to go in their favor.

Oh also, Rio Grande declares war on the Shawnee.

28

P: Rio Grande, or as some like to call it, “big river”, have a decent military & some decent cities, but is stuck between multiple stronger powers. One brave settler may be exploring the southern Pacific, but I don’t see where they are likely to settle, barring some barren island in the middle of the sea. It seems that a Tiwanaku settler will be settling nearby modern day Santiago de Chile. Passing by the sea & over the river, the first bits of truly habitable land past the Atacama is in sight & near their hold.

Oh also, Rio Grande declares war on the Shawnee, as well as the Alaouites upon the Rozvi.

29: Nothing Left but Each Other

P: Seneca seems to be having a decent chance of taking Chetopah, a recent settlement that was certainly ambitious at least. At the same time, however, the Senecan city of Kanawagas looks exceptionally vulnerable. If they are able to resist this attack, their chances of succeeding in this war is greatly heightened.

L: As the refugees from Mo-he-ag-gra ran east, looking for any kind of shelter they could find, used their remaining rations, & set up temporary homes in the plains. Coming from conflict, they set upon the outskirts of the forest, so they could easily hide if anything happened. Everything about this makeshift village was built to protect, not to nurture. Whispers of an oncoming army sent fear into everyone’s heads, knowing they may not have much time, they prepared quickly.

30: (I)gyor’s Theme

L: Hungary fills out the rest of the Adriatic coast with their next settlement, leaving Rome in a rather uneasy place. Unfortunately for this Roman settler, there’s practically no places left to settle in the crowded theater of Europe.

Ecuador declares upon the Osage over a trade disagreement, or so my sources say.

31: Oddly Similar to Real Life

P: If I were that settler, I’d probably go for the island with lapis, but otherwise, much of the map is filling up rapidly. The Ecuadorian military seems to be rapidly upgrading to newer, more powerful archers. Mexico’s Caribbean cities seem to have survived without too much damage, which is a relief for them, I’m certain. At this point, the Ecuadorians have no Caribbean or Atlantic ports, & will have to fight for any ports, if they so desire. This may be an advantage for now, but long term, they will need to gain ports for any chance to win the game.

32: The Start of a Long Siege

P: The Alouites surround the Sierra Leonese city of Kelema. While troops are rushing to the city’s defense, it may be just too little, too late to save the city from falling into Alouite hands. The spearmen, if they survive this round of attacks, could take the city, but if they perish, taking the city becomes much more difficult for the army.

L: A once lively, albeit modest small town, now has had women & children starving in their homes, hiding from the ferocious battles happening so often outside. The fields lay idle with nothing growing. Streets are vacant, minus the occasional raids that all have learned to hide from. It has become a curse to live in what was once a village, known for its love for the world.

33: The Herat of the Nation

P: The Kazakhs approach the city of Herat, with a minimal force, but with such a small garrison defending the city, it seems like a potential pickup for the Kazakhs to boost their city count, even on three fronts. Literally this civ has the biggest balls at times, I’d not have that confidence.

34: Nevergreens

L: Crocodile man has decided that fighting for his peninsular tip wasn’t exciting enough for him, & that the Osage need to learn a lesson for their crimes of being in North America. Ecuador, despite having no access to North America, has sent a moral support declaration of war to support the likely senile crocodile man. The Taíno are holding onto Fort San Carlos to dear life, despite what the last slide in the cylinder shown in the last episode, it was actually taken at the last moment as seen in the minimap.

Alexandros Papagos has always had a dream of trying to achieve some sort of political success, to have some say over his lackluster compatriots, while loyal the the crocodile man, he has been at the forefront of this war, looking for some breakout against the Taíno, having fought in every stage of this skirmish, his hopes of establishing some sort of base for his dreams seemed more like a dream each & every day.

35: Settler Slowdown

L: The Kazakh assault on Herat has been massively successful, with the rush of troops filling the outskirts of the city while the remaining troops route to safer territory. An Oriat settler seems lost nearby, likely scared but intrigued by the intense fighting happening beyond the hills. Oh, & the Kalmyks have enhanced their religion.

36: Walls Closing In

P: Qarm has settled in modern day Yemen, with the city of Hajar. Knowing their recent aggression, Ethiopia’s city is not safe from the jingoistic wrath of Quarm. At the same time, the Afsharids are looking off from Iran to search for new places to settle. Pontus also has been expanding their influence into Arabia, possibly moving into the center of the map near an oasis, racing with the nearby Ethiopian settlers south. Not sure how Qarm wants to handle this.

37: Honestly Could be Decent in Nearby War, if they Spread Their Religion.

L: The Holy Order enhancer belief has been adopted in Vajrayana, meaning that religion spreads in cities 25% farther away. Not a terrible choice, but seems less practical in their particular circumstance. Almost every other belief in their faith is at least decent, this one is middle of the road in this case. I could certainly see it being useful in some circumstances.

38: Chalk it up to their privilege

P: The Pontic unique unit, Chalkaspides replaces Pikeman. Some notes about it: “May convert enemy and city-state workers to Chalkaspides who have -1 movement, but if adjacent to a city, units produced in that city start at Level 2 and gain the Drill I promotion.” Pretty absurd unit, & the Pontics need to use this unit to their advantage now to keep relevant.

39: Hit the Jim

P: Despite the impressive strength of the Nivkh army, they have had no success taking Pyongyang. Somehow, Goguryeo has maintained an extremely impressive ability to not only survive a two front war, but succeed on both ends. If it will be enough is to be found out, but for now, they are alive. The Goguryeo unique unit, Gaemamusa, is on display, a strong replacement for horsemen, showing its strength on the battlefield.

L: And oh SHIT Quarm is declaring war again!

40: OMO What’s This?

P: That is a lot of ships coming in around the city of Machaca, could the Bora Bora be planning an assault on the city? It’d not be shocking to try to catch up a bit with some war, but it seems it’d be a difficult one on the mainland.

Burgundy also made war with the Faroes… sigh. & Caitlyn what is this slide title? I swear the jokes were already bad enough…

41: War at your Dorsetep

L: Now we get to see the action! It’s a slow start to this war, but Harappa has practically no defenses up, so it’s hard to see this as anything but a guaranteed victory for the Quarm swarm. The Arabian wanderers seem to be extremely indecisive for where to go, perhaps fearing for their lives.

42: Venice but not for the good reasons

P: Unfortunately for the Shawnee, it seems their settler has been captured or lost, but at least they have a great general? I still don’t understand how no one has invaded them yet, but I still think they won’t be the first exterminated civ on the map.

L: Tribhuwana Wijayatunggadewi, duchess of one of the smaller tribes, caring for her eldest until he could take the throne. A devout Protestant, she has attempted to ensure that no threat can come to her children, & to help ensure the nation can be as together as possible.

43: Hundred Turns’ War

P: In case you all did not see before, Burgundy actually had flipped the city off screen, & England flipped it back. Such a back & forth has left the city largely in ruins, fighting over the remaining buildings that still somehow stand. That DoW seems significantly more worrisome seeing the Faroese navy run down the Irish Sea, into the Bay of Biscay & the English channel. With Burgundy’s nonexistent navy, & fighting multiple wars, it is not looking great for the big burgundy blob.

L: I’m not sure anyone is winning this war, this is like the Hundreds’ Years War, but somehow even more awkward to read about… Norman Schwarzkopf Jr, I’m sure will be on the frontlines soon, near the front, risking life & limb for a quick operation in the Gulf.

44: Ackadir!

L: The Alaouite city of Agadir has been taken by Kanem-Bornu, in the splatter painting that is North Africa, there are so many cities that can switch hands rapidly if they are not well defended. Unless a sudden rush is made, I don’t see it being flippable. Also, notice the Sierra Leone settler south of Lake Chad.

P: I can’t imagine that Alaouite settler is in for a good time.

L: Maybe they’re into pony play?

P: You don’t know that.

45: Attacking on all Sides

P: Since Herat has been taken rapidly, now the Kazakhs should peace out & deal with the wars surrounding them. Even if the Selkups are not too scary at the moment, the Kazan are very terrifying. This is the only civ I’ve seen for a moment fight on all fronts & have a shot at winning. Even all they’ve done here is impressive in its own right, but the Kazakhs are having the game of the episode. Sure, the AI is really bad, but I still feel surviving in this situation is very impressive for the AI.

46: Crocodile Conundrums

L: The Osage capture the Seneca city of Kanawagas, but if it will hold is uncertain. I think it’s most likely for it to flip twice more before being maintained by the Osage. This is a damning move to the Osage, & possibly a death blow to their chances in the cylinder. While there may be hope, the strong stand in Chetopah truly bodes well for the Osage chances in this war, & North America in general. Crocodile boy has been downgraded due to his inability to keep it up in the peninsula, & not be able to flip this dang city.

47: One installation in a long series of Paige complaining about settlers

P: One of the most frustrating things with settlers is seeing how wonderful settlement spots are ruined by objectively terrible settlements. I would have moved one tile south in order to have another city next to the gold tile, but it is blocked off. Pampa Koani is a decent settlement for now. With that, we’re unlikely to see many more settlements on the Pacific coast in South America. This presents an immediate issue for Bora Bora, due to access to the Pacific Ocean being at risk of being completely blocked off by Tiwanaku. Say what you will, we do love how Tiwanaku plays.

48: War Chest

L: Ikko-Ikki continues to make me proud, by building yet another wonder, this one rated a four out of ten in terms of quality. It’s a decent wonder, though perhaps not the ideal one in a domination only game. Maguindanaoian’s wonder of the Great Lighthouse is certainly a better choice between the two.

In the busy port of Rodoso, outside the Ikko-Ikki capital, veterans of the war celebrate their successes in Shang territory, where they found in the raid of the city of Yanshi a chest of 300 pounds of gold, & brought it back to their commander. Deciding to ensure the wealth was protected, the commander immediately sent it back on a supply ship, not realizing the supply ship held a significant amount of food & back up arms, which eventually meant that Yanshi would fall out of Ikko-Ikki hands. Regardless, a part of this wealth would be donated in memorial of the soldiers lost in the battle, & of hubris.

49: Leaving us Kazakh

P: Peace! Taking my advice, the Kazakhs make the wise decision to make peace with Bukhara, & now need only to focus on two* fronts. While it still looks dire, if the Kazakhs are able to make it out of these conflicts alive, I can imagine that they will make quite the rise in Power Rankings.

50: Pain in the Arras

L: Burgundy is the Sierra Leone of Europe. For those wondering where that settler a few slides ago would end up (probably mostly me), they decided southern Norway was as good a choice as any for the likely sun loving Frenchies. I don’t see any way the Ume Sámi don’t immediately decide to declare war & take this city near immediately, but I’m also an Ume Sámi fan, so, I suppose that’s wishful thinking. The settler there also seemed dead set on settling, so Rijkuo likely will not be happy about this development.

P: Sorry to rain on your Sámijerk, but keep in mind that Rapolan, 111 turns in, has not been taken. Perhaps rein your hype in a bit, deer.

L: No.

51: Pony Pony Boy Boy

P: I suppose you were not wrong with this, Caitlyn. Regardless, I’m naming this settler Sophie, so I’ll treat him like a ponyboy, boy. Salé seems unstable, but I’m not convinced it will flip this game. The forces are being split between the Mamluk city of Mansoura, & Salé.

L: It also looks like the Sierra Leone city of Port Loko will be flipped by Pontus, maintaining the nasty border gore seen in Africa.

P: It’s okay to cry, Cait.

52: Kene take me?

L: The entire front is sporadic & unpredictable, but the main fighting at the moment is still here in Keneme. It seems that Kenema is bound to flip, I may have said that last time, but this time I truly do mean it! The Alaouite barrage is simply too big to give it all up in war. Right?

P: You trust the AI too much, Caitlyn.

L: Perhaps, but it’s better to have love & lost than to never have loved at all!

P:If you’re so sure, hun.

53: Found Family

L: In the midst of all of the chaos, A Roman archer had lost their way while taking the city of Rashid, & trekked for weeks, lost in the sahara. As they moved south, they met new people, with skin tones darker than most in the unit had ever seen before. Through much talking, they were able to find shelter & community with the Saba military. But as the war came upon them, the Romans found themselves in union with the troops, fighting for them as they started to doubt if they’d ever find their old home. In the siege, the Romans helped reinforce supply lines, & were important in ensuring the siege went quick, as they had practiced in Rashid.

54: Shut-ka-door

P: The Harappan city seems vulnerable, but not likely this turn. While I doubt that Sutkagan-dor is likely to stay in Harappan hands, the lack of melee troops will mean it takes a bit for ships to take the city. The Qarmback is real though, it seems that the AI is looking for a more expansion style game than a settle game, which while… questionable, seems to be working well so far. It’s like a newer player who is still learning but making well timed moves. Regardless, one must wonder what long term plans they have with such few settled cities. At the same time, the Afsharid settler has barely moved at all

55: Paige continues being a Kazakh-stan

P: The Kazakhs decide that their situation is dire enough to stop messing around in their southern front, & decide to make peace with Bukhara, but not without maintaining hold upon Herat. While things may be looking up, remember they are at war with both their neighbors east & west, with Taraz looking mighty unstable. With so few troops on this front, it may not be long before the city faces a siege it cannot handle. The Bukhara military is scary, with another settler there able to settle, erm, somewhere.

56: Arctic Antics

L: So we have an Ume Sámi trireme fighting in the bitter Arctic, just south we have two militaries trying & failing to make any ground on each other, & a Lithuanian scout in that fray, Mongolians on every end of the front, & so many other scouts that will only get more absurd as time goes on. The city seems far from flipping, & this is likely the Kazakhs’ best chance to make peace on one front to concentrate forces on the other. If Kazakhstan wants to make it out of these wars unhindered, that seems to be the most likely path.

57: Anyyang You Want It

L: Ikko got the Ickki around messing around in Yanshi, & have decided to move west to surround the city of Anyang. This city is certainly flippable, but it requires the Ikko-Ikki to move quickly, move troops in, & mount a respectable defense of the city.

As the Zheng horses outside of Machang are shot at, one dying soldier lets out one final promise: “May your soil bleed red & your waters blue.”

58: Nyak Out!

L: Cut Nyak Dhien, trained & hardeed by years in the Zheng–Dai Viet war, has a harrowing story. In her young adult life, she had to flee her border village, with her baby along with a group of other women. Her husband stayed behind, unfortunately passing in the battle. Shortly after, she married Teuku Umar, who played a monumental effort in fighting back in the war to prevent any Zheng advancements into territory. Using guerrilla tactics, they managed to bungle the war, & may help bring Koxinga to the negotiation table with nothing to show.

59: Hung around, find out.

P: A civ accurate general? I don’t believe I’ve seen that before? While Cut Nyak was effective on a local basis, the general best at resisting the war & was able to unify the various settlements vaguely mediated under Trần Thánh Tông, was Trần Hưng Đạo, uncle of the monarch. Using the army strategically, & falling back slightly in the borderlands to lure the Zheng forces into guerrilla traps, Hưng Đạo has been able to always find himself on top for every assault on Zheng forces. With each wave of assaults, Hưng Đạo strategically used each attack to push back the Zeng troops.

Also Ume Sámi & Royal Hungary make peace.

60: Whatchu Guamá do about it?

L: Oh boy, another great general slide! Guamá warned of gators coming to the island in the future, & warned the cacique that in order to prevent domination, they must strike first. Or perhaps he meant the gordo men west. Regardless, he is the reason for the war in Florida.

On less narrative notes, Seneca retakes Kanawagas, while the Taíno maintains hold on Fort San Carlos, & Ecuador moving multiple settlers north through the Caribbean, while Mexico looks to settle in Isla los Roques.

61: Thule of Yourself

P: Thule settles another city in Nova Scotia, with two Seneca settlers not too far behind. While brave, I wonder how tenable these cities will be to hold long term (not very). It does show how poorly the Seneca have done in settling the vast area of Quebec & Ontario, which the Faroes have settled more cities in those areas than they have, a civ from another continent, & the Thule, a civ on the other side of this continent. While there are very valuable cities south, their capital is largely undefended at the moment.

62: No ifs, buts, Norwich!

P: The cascade of Faroe ships should make the Burgundians nervous, the city of Amiens has two open sea tiles that the Faroes could easily take advantage of in the sparsely defended city. It’d be immediately retaken, but this is not a battle Burgundy needs while fighting the English tooth & nail over the Norman coast.

63: Lessons Unlearned

L: Saba, please just focus on one at a time, you can absolutely wreck shit in this war if you just concentrate your forces… The Alaouite-Kanem-Bornu seems to slow down, at the same time as the Mamluk-Kanem-Bornu war seems to be nearly completely halted.

P: Ndongo, why do you not have any triremes for invading an island city? This is invasion prep 101, make sure you can actually take & hold the dang territory. Looking back at slide 14, we can see they have one trireme in the very south of their territory. Ay ay ay AI…

64: Fighting Over the Ruins of the Village

L: Even as the ruins of the city, barren of population, lay graspable, brave Sierra Leonese fighters hunt out in the city, fighting in as dense of territory as conceivable for such a rushed settlement. As the Alaouites seem unable to send any men capable of taking out the strategic archers, the city continues to crumble, becoming a playground between the two leaders with no end in sight despite a clear path to peace.

P: This AI is terrible.

65: Curias What they were Thinking…

P: The city of Dioscurias has been settled near the border of the empty quarter. I do wonder if this forward settlement will be sustainable long term for the Pontics, seeing as they are already finding themselves into another two wars immediately, with no military defending their cities within Saudi Arabia. This may change over time, but it seems like a huge mistake. Saba should also move their settler to just inside the Red Sea Coast. Also Shang has retaken Yanshi, that war will just get bloodier. & no Cait, we will talk about the Qarm Swarm later, but that is what I was implying.

66: …Might have had some of that DMT

P: So a joint war between Saba-D’mt & Royal Hungary to conquer Pontic territory seems like one of the easiest possible gains for both. As long as Hungary doesn’t make the same mistakes as the Alaouites (how do you mess those wars up?) it should be largely bloodless gains for Hungary especially. Hungary really is having a very good episode, especially since the Latvian war slows down.

67: Zheng it!

P: Each wave has become weaker & weaker, as the Zheng lose their hunger for diving deeper for more war. Many of the refugees are moving south to the island paradise of Thai Nyugen, where clearly, no war could happen, right?

L: I feel bad for that great prophet, I’m always sad when great person units are killed.

68: QARMA

P: I swear I did not read ahead.

L: THE QARM SWARM. Using the advantage of the multiple wars happening in Pontic lands, Quarm yet again, deeply strategically declares war, sending their units straight into Dioscurias, faster than Saba was able (or cared to). At the same time, Dor is so close to flipping, but only held back a bit by poorly positioning their melee units. This does not seem to be anywhere near the case for the front in Pontic Arabia, which may be at danger of losing much more of their territory than they are willing to give.

69: I still wish it was Chumash

L: The Pueblo core (this is the first shot we’ve had of this land all game) is looking wonderfully strong at the moment. They are one of the top contenders for a strong North America game, but that depends on their ability to expand & use their Lada:kwe bowman replacement to get an early start to expansion. That path looks less favorable now, seeing as the Osage & Mexico are expanding quickly, & neighbors to their north continue to gain strength.

70: It’s kind of like Catan tbh

P: Faroese settlers come in hot for eastern canada, while the Thule are quickly moving to Baffin island in a Baffling move of horrible city location spots. Kinngait is settled (oh that’s a canal city but we can’t have one in Panama smh), & North America is finally filling up on city locations.

Wait, Seneca settled a city in Quebec? Oh huh.

71: Pontus Pileon

P: Bavaria also declares war on Pontus, not a great episode for them. Norwich continues its back & forth game while the two fight over who gets the smoldering ruins of a once decent city. Hungary’s front with Latvia looks sparse, but I’d not be shocked if they are able to make peace soon, while making little progress on the easy pickups in Pontus. The only Civs in Europe having a good episode are the Faroes (always having a good episode smh) & Royal Hungary.

72: The Merv of some People…

P: Bukhara has had a really rough episode, I don’t see a very tenable path towards victory for them, but at least many of their war problems are over. At this point they need to reorganize & build up their military to have a decent chance of even surviving for long. Losing Herat has made them extremely vulnerable to any attacks from the north, even if the mountain passage south is largely defensible. & I did not mention this earlier, but the Kazakhs have made peace with another civ, & have been able to protect their west for now. Literally how did that civ get out of that situation & make gains, what the heck?

73: Hopeful Settlers

L: Ecuador & New Holland make peace, with very little changes in territory (none). Mexico meanwhile, has settled Chihuahua, further boxing in Ecuador from connecting their territory to the Caribbean. Mexico is having a decent game, but one bad two front war could easily cost them many of their advantages over their neighbors. Some Ecuadorian Settlers could find some island to settle, but it may be difficult to connect them with the mainland.

74: Bay of Risque

P: It seems that the Faroes have decided that Amiens is their next acquisition, & they have the triremes to ensure it. Those Burgundian archers certainly won’t make it easy, & they will have to burn through a lot of their triremes to maintain their hold over it, that is, if Burgundy is actually strategic. Burgundy needs to end this war with Henry if they want any chance of surviving long term, right now, if they can hold Norwich (they won’t right now, it has turned into a European Yanshi), they may be able to hold onto that in a peace deal, & focus their attention on the Faroes. Burgundy is not having a fun game.

75: Bordergore Gets Worse

L: Here we get to see the Roman unique unit in action, likely to take the city of Mansoura. If you thought that Rome was done, you’d be very wrong. I’d not be surprised if Rome holds it, & makes peace. I was not expecting Rome to be the ones to fuck over the Mamluks, but it is entertaining, nonetheless. Port Loko is still holding strong, to my shock at least, while Salé is under siege, but doing shockingly alright, as in, not being actively taken due to a lack of melee units. At the same time, things look dire in the Alaouite city of Tétouan, with three Sierra Leonese swordsmen looking mighty hungry at the city.

76: Divinations in Danao

L: Maguindanao has completed the Oracle wonder, providing a free social policy. It’s an alright wonder if you’re going for some victories, but not one I would have wasted my time with if I were Maguindanao.

P: Perhaps Muhammad Kudarat had gotten advice from one of his priests, who rose to the top & has helped define Maguindanao policy for years now?

77: Are you winning son?

P: The barrage of Kazakh arrows has largely slowed the Kazan assaults, & they have shockingly survived what is a deeply difficult battle. I’m not a Kazakh fan, but I am very proud of all they have done in the past few episodes. Aktobe is losing health, but not melee units are nearby the city, which means it likely will recover for a while. The main issue for the Kazakhs is attrition, & it is showing at this point. They need to make peace if they want to survive at this point.

78: I wonder how many have died in this city alone

L: Ikko-Ikki has captured Yanshi, yet again fighting over the smoldering ruins of the once beautiful city, but I would not be shocked if it was just flipped once more. These forever wars will never end. The Ikko-Ikki have not flipped Anyang yet, but it is still possible. & in case you didn’t notice, there’s a settler nearby modern day Tokyo, maybe they will actually settle in Japan now. (lol no)

79: Paige’s Zeal

P: You could have settled in Auckland, why did you choose a worthless island to settle on? Palawa I want to love you but please use your head oh my goodness. Unfortunately, Palawa is having a little bit of a rough go at it, it’s deeply frustrating to see to say the least as a Palawa fan. At least the cities look decent in New Zealand, the ones they have settled there.

80: Bora Boring

P: The war with Bora Bora is slowing down, with very little happening on either side, other than some weak attempts to take Maguinchao, I feel the future of Bora Bora is rather weak, their territory is disconnected, & it will take a very difficult war to make any major territorial gains. But hey, I guess they get to do fun trading missions with cargo ships? As a Tehuelche fan, I am hoping for them to overrun Bora Bora; that is not a current possibility, unfortunately.

81: North Africa is such a mess

L: The Visigoths declare war on Sierra Leone! Now this is a scary war for them, those triremes do not seem to be fucking around, & could easily take Waterloo. It’s a very well timed war for Leovigild, & he could easily gain a foothold in north Africa, which would greatly strengthen his position in-game, especially after throwing Asturica. If they take Waterloo, & Sierra Leone takes Tétouan, there is potential for them to take three cities if they are able to embark enough units. Not likely, but a fun potential in this war. Oh, and Kenema still has not been taken, how do you mess up a siege that bad Shaybani? You’ve lost so much that you did not need to lose…

82: Peace in India

P: The Khoshuts & Vijayanagara make peace, with no major concessions & mostly just being a drain on resources the entire war. This is a good shot of the Indian subcontinent, with both Harappa & Vijayanagara looking very decent, with Siam & the Khoshuts looking over deeply interested in the rest.

83: Yuan’s Last Stand

L: After facing an internal mutiny, Ma Yuan was selected to take charge of the siege defense, looking to prevent a complete failure as seen elsewhere in Africa. Knowing that this is it, he quickly moved towards the city, & prepared an entrenched campaign to hit troops when able. Archers would forage from local farms & hit as many Roman troops while remaining away from the front lines. Within the city, it would be wall to wall, shooting anyone who crosses, picking eveey battle carefully. This city is the Mamluks’ last stand if they want to survive in Africa. War in empty streets, it will be, if that is what it will take.

84

P: After an extremely long war, with modest gains on Makhnovia’s side, peace comes at last. Lithuania does not have a great episode this time, but they at least survived & have the ability to rebound. Despite the expenses in funding this war, Makhnovia is on the up & up, & has a better chance to survive. It may not be enough, but it’s a start. They’ve retaken their core lands, & gained a Lithuanian city, they are no longer just a write off, but have to be considered in the balance of power in Eurasia.

85: Emotional Support DoW

P: Mongolia, despite not being anywhere near Pontus, has decided all the smelly settlers coming around with… questionable amounts of poison tolerance, has been enough, & must be taken care of. How Sorghaghtani is looking to engage in this war, I’m not sure, most likely will be emotional support from a distance.

L: I wonder where that little settler will end up, I hope they go north.

86: Castle on a Cloud

P: Harappa has so many settlers, where are they even trying to send them? You can’t just keep pumping out settlers & expect to find home for them in India!

L: It’s a good look at Harappa the Rapper’s territory though! You can see the fortress town of Ganeriwala, that later on will probably be a thorn in many a civs’ ass if Harappa falls. Really the entire area of our Tibet is largely going to be hell late game, & no one will enjoy watching that. Wait, what does that text say?

87: Underwhelming Show, Ma

L: My narrative :(

P: What are Yuan about Cait? It was bound to happen with the well placed siege Trajan put on. At this point Rome should either peace out, or move on to Cairo, which they seem to be doing nicely. I was not expecting Rome’s breakout to be moving to Africa, but I suppose that could have been expected.

L: ;-; Well all the other fronts are going about as expected.

88: Yansheeeeee

L: In more shocking news, Yanshi has flipped yet again. I can’t imagine the city is any more than just some charred buildings & red soil from the bodies over the years. Regardless, the siege carries on in Anyang, with what I would say an Ikko-Ikki advantage, but I’d be shocked if it flips this episode, perhaps next episode we’ll see it.

89: Common Alaouite L

L: As we predicted, Tétouan has been captured by Sierra Leone, showing the Alaouite incompetence in their multiple spans of wars. The war with the Visigoths; however, looks quiet, but the second the Visigoths decide to roll in their navy, it’s hard to see Waterloo sticking around in Sierra Leone’s hands. The balance of power in Africa has shifted away from those originating in north Africa for sure.

90: Gazooksra!

P: Deciding to do something about that war they declared, the Hungarians prepare a siege around the city of Gaziura. There doesn’t seem to be siege equipment, but it should be flippable soon enough, even if it may be poorly arranged at this time. I can see Royal Hungary taking maybe this city, & the canal city of Amastris.

91: Udon Thank

P: Siam has founded the city of Udon Thani, which for some reason had to be pointed out to me. There’s not much to say about that other than it is a shitty one tile island because most land has been taken on the map, which is an important development, meaning civs will have to expand by other methods soon. Also we get to see a trireme skirmish between Qarm & Harappa, for some reason. Singapore is definitely looking a bit scarier now, most civs in this episode of the map are looking tough to crack, & willing to fight.

92: Palawa’s Pals

L: Petra! This may not have been the ideal spot to place Petra, due to the floodplain tiles, but is still a decent wonder to have. I have a deep soft spot for wonder heavy civs, so Palawa takes my heart in Australia.

In the reaches of the mine, housing was a must for any steps to collect these resources. During the war, a large number of captives were taken, & eventually would be taken in for forced labor, but this made housing extremely difficult; however, there was a solution. Just on the outskirts of the abandoned mines, there were a series of hollowed out caves that had lost all value to be mined any further. A combination of artisans & construction workers planned & planned to build a series of housing that ballooned into a large city, caved into the mountains. While built initially for slaves, it became a town of its own right, & a part of the Palawa’s pride.

93: Seneca Help

P: The Seneca have declared war on Mexico, in a completely confusing & contradictory move that I’m sure they’ll either forget or regret. Seriously, what was this supposed to accomplish?

L: Maybe it was another scout annoyance? Still, the AI loves making foolish moves, so I wouldn’t be so surprised Paige, Seneca is barely functional as is, holding the frontline barely.

94: The Three Sisters are maize, beans, and squash.

L: Seneca’s unique improvement, the Three Sisters Outpost, is a decent defensive fortification that also serves as additional food production on those tiles. When it is built off of Seneca land, it stores foods, then gives it when it becomes Seneca land. Pretty fun unique improvement, I just hope the AI will be able to use it effectively, but the AI tends to suck at strategies.

P: Barring the Qarmatians

L: QARM SWARM!

95: Testing out that religion now, aren’t ya?

P: Leaving us off on a cliffhanger, Kalmyks have become the victims of a DoW by Kazan & Vijayanagara! I see Kazan also wanted to see what it’s like to be in a two front war, but they may or may not make any major advancements this turn.

L: And with that, that is episode 8! Hopefully you enjoyed Paige & I rambling, & I hope to see you all next week for another installation of CBRX 4.

Epiosde 8: Fighting Over Ruins – S4