Civ Battle Royale November 19, 2021
TopHatPaladin
Several African empires find common purpose, while two of Asia’s big powers go head-to-head. Grab your popcorn and welcome back to… the Civ Grand Royale!
Hello, everybody! It's been a while, but we're back with another episode of the Civ Grand Royale! I'm TopHatPaladin, and I'll be your guide through the wartime wonderland this week. We've got two slides coming up to refresh you on where the last episode left off, so let's cut the preamble short and get right into the action!
First, we're headed down to southern Africa, where Lesotho made waves at the end of last part by declaring war on Luba. A quick look at the battlefield suggests that Lesotho made this decision wisely: Luba's defenses are looking thin, with only a handful of units keeping Moshoeshoe's armies away from the otherwise undefended Luba core.
Meanwhile in Europe, the English forces finished the previous episode by seizing France's capital. Jeanne d'Arc is still swinging— she's got Tours and Norwich in the black— but she's got very few melee units on the scene. If she's not careful, the French resistance will be little more than a nuisance.
And now, some events you've never seen before! We're taking a look now at a long, thin, coastline-hugging nation in South America— by which I mean, of course, the United Fruit Company. Sam Zemurray has just sailed into Camutins on a trireme, thus capturing the nigh-undefended Marajoara capital. The Marajoara queen P'kuee retreats to Bichos. Her new capital is somewhat insulated from the UFC, thanks to a one-two punch of forests and bordergore; however, P'kuee will have to hope that “being hard to reach” is a sufficient strategy, because her second line of defense is one (1) trebuchet.
The Kamchatka Peninsula, a thin strip of mountainous tundra, has somehow become a highly desirable settling spot. It's understandable that Mongolia ended up on this bitter spit of land— they're at least within the bounds of Northeast Asia— but very strange that the Wahgi have decided to take a trip up here too. I guess Bol'im wants to get away from the tropical heat on occasion.
Eagle-eyed viewers may also notice Shin over in Alaska; Goguryeo now holds land in both the Old and New Worlds, and with the Marajoara pushed out of Africa, they're currently the only civ to be able to claim that.
Wenshan, the final city of the long-suffering Shu Han, is down into the red... however, Rouran still haven't brought any melee units to the front lines. It's not for lack of supply— the Nirun-Huaishao corridor shows a whole line of them— but, for some reason, Yujiulu Mugulu has decided to keep them close to his chest. C'mon, man... we can all tell that you want to eliminate Shu Han. Just be honest about it and start knocking heads.
The Omagua have a good track record when it comes to war against Brazil; for proof of that, just look at Salvador and São Paulo, both of which are now flying the Omagua eel banner. However, it seems like Payoreva wants to make this track record even better, as he's just declared a resumption of hostilities against the Brazilians! Based on the arrangement of the Omagua forces, it looks like they're bearing down on Lula's capital in Brasília; however, knowing the AI's attention span, I wouldn't be surprised if part of the Omagua army peeled off to harass Rio de Janeiro instead.
In Central Siberia, you can see the Ket! They've been playing a pretty relaxed game so far, founding Samanism and doing little else. Honestly, it seems like a pretty nice way to live; they can enjoy peace, and based on those city populations, it seems like they're eating well too. If you can stand the cold, it seems like Kellog is a great place to call your home.
Also living comfortably are the Ngarrindjeri, who've formed themselves a nice little arc of cities around the Australian east coast. They've had a few fights with the Bunuba, as the city banner of Darlngunaya attests, but the two civs seem content to coexist for now. Ngurunderi does fire off a declaration of war against the already-embattled Sarawak, but he probably did that more to impress the Wahgi than to actually prosecute the war.
Gbudwe, the king of the Azande, has one true love in this world: the crossbow. Just about everywhere in the Azande core, there are crossbow regiments filling the area, practicing their shooting. But the question is, will he pivot from practice to actual warfare? (Luba, preoccupied with a war on the other side of their empire, seems like a particularly juicy target.)
Things the White Huns enjoy: Claiming desert tiles.
Things the White Huns don't enjoy: Improving desert tiles.
Seriously, it's a damn shame how many flood plains are just sitting, barren, around Taxila.
The Illyrians' last attempt at ground warfare was successful— they walked out of it with Budapest, a hotly contested capital. However, Teuta seems to have become bored of this whole “land” thing, and instead dedicates her time to mass-producing the Lembos. This unique trireme is weak on its own, but becomes stronger near others of its kind, so enemies of the Illyrians would be wise to stay out of the Adriatic!
It's not like any of them are out there trying to get INTO the Adriatic. But, well... every bit of deterrence helps, I guess.
Bengal declares war on Siam, meaning that South Asia's two infrastructural giants are going to be trading blows! This matchup could have a pretty big impact on the fate of the region. The Bengali king, Shuja-ud-Din Muhammad Khan, has already proven himself in a war against Rashtrakuta; Siam is more of an unknown quantity, as Rama V has never put much effort into his past wars.
Based on the terrain, it seems like Bengal has an early advantage— Ayutthaya, for one, is damn near indefensible. However, the Burmese highlands could easily prevent Bengal from posing a serious threat to the Siamese core.
I'm pleasantly surprised by the Omagua's ability to stay focused! The whole of Payoreva's army is surrounding Brasília, gradually chipping away the health of Brazil's capital city. Lula seems powerful to stop the assault; he's called forth a Great General in Rio de Janeiro, but the poor general doesn't have any soldiers to command.
North America's pair of big blue blobs signs a peace deal; the combination of the Appalachians and the Great Lakes appears to have made a natural barrier that neither belligerent could effectively circumvent. Despite the armistice, a newly-trained Shoshone Yellow Brow surveys the border from Skullyville. This unique Lancer is stronger when fighting alone or against full-strength units; apparently he's a bit of an underdog type who shines most against strong foes.
Ayutthaya's health begins to drop, thanks to the multitude of Bengali Paiks— unique crossbowmen— shooting the city full of holes. If Shuja-ud-Din mobilized his cannons, he could probably knock out the city a lot quicker, but he doesn't seem to be playing for speed right now; certainly, he feels no rush to get his melee units to the battlefield.
Bored of claiming empty desert, Toramana of the White Huns decides to make a play for some already-occupied land. His chosen target? Rashtrakuta.
I've got mixed feelings about this decision. Sure, Rashtrakuta is small... but Toramana's war effort is dependent on getting open borders from Bengal, and he doesn't seem to realize that Rashtrakuta does field a respectable (if aging) standing army. The White Huns may have just signed up to waste their energy.
Lesotho has pushed through the Luba army and begun besieging Mwibele outright! With a few units on hand, it's not impossible for Ilunga Sungu to throw off the Basotho attack, but it'd be a tricky feat of strategic planning. If I were Luba, I'd just try to make peace now, before Moshoeshoe could really get his momentum going.
The Russians may not be long for this world. After razing Stolp, Makhnovia settled Novyi Buh on the same tile, and is using that city as a forward base to assault Elisabeth's final stronghold. Yekaterinburg has held out so far, but the relative sizes of the two armies are pretty damning— this is a fight that the anarchists seem sure to win.
Rama V had had a war ongoing with Sarawak, just as a fun diversion— it wasn't like James Brooke posed him any threat, after all. But now that he's at war with Bengal, the King of Siam has decided that he should probably leave Sarawak alone and devote his attention to the larger threat. Brooke can breathe a sigh of relief... for now.
Brasília falls to the Omagua forces! Lula da Silva is forced to flee his capital, instead retreating to Rio de Janeiro. There, he finds a once-great general, drinking by himself and complaining about kids these days won't show up to the recruitment office. Once upon a time, Lula might have chastised the general for behaving this way; now, he simply grabs the bottle and pours out a portion for himself.
After a few drinks, Lula leaves the general's side, having mustered up the courage to speak to Payoreva directly. He demands a peace deal, and the Omagua leader accepts it, saying “Why not? We've already got your capital, after all.”
Henry V of England has begun setting up garrisons in his conquered cities— and thus, because of his UA, France's cities begin taking small amounts of damage. This should accelerate Henry's ongoing siege of Lyon, and might help him finish the job against Bourges.
Mwibele continues to hold out against Lesotho's attack... but, suddenly, the sound of footsteps can be heard in the northeast. “I've practiced enough!” Gbudwe declares. “It's time that these crossbows see the battlefield.” Suffice it to say: I don't envy Luba's position right now.
Luba and Portugal are at peace, but Carlos may be holding a grudge after his loss of Coimbra— he's moving his army into Luba's northern fringes, and his intentions remain unknown. Certainly, Luba seems to be a popular choice to pick on at the moment; even Rashtrakuta, itself no stranger to pain, has hopped on the anti-Luba bandwagon.
Sierra Leone has begun to show off their Black Loyalists, a unique troop of Musketmen that can accrue Culture and Golden Age Points from fighting in foreign territory. Will this be the motivating factor that Thomas Peters needs to reverse his recent humiliations?
Deseret has settled a city on Greenland, and four on Baffin Island. I can understand the appeal of Kaysville— it ensures that Deseret controls an important naval chokepoint— but the other Baffin Island cities are truly incomprehensible. Maybe Brigham Young really wants some observatories...........?
Shu Han lives another day! As Wenshan hangs by a thread, Liu Bei frantically negotiates with the Rouran Khaganate, persuading them to call off their attackers in the nick of time. The Shu Han are still having a rough time, but, hey... it beats being dead.
Luba's situation is going from bad to worse! After carefully maneuvering an invasion force into position, Kalonga Mazula— the leader of the Maravi— has become the latest power to declare war on Luba. Half of the Maravi force consists of Zimba Marauders, unique Pikemen that can permanently gain Combat Strength by pillaging tiles; these units, paired with the trebuchets, could be a seriously deadly combination.
As the English invasion occupies more and more of France's resources, Eystein of Norway seizes the opportunity to join the fight against Jeanne d'Arc; he feels that Montpellier should be gone, or should at least be loyal to an actual Scandinavian king. However, he has an unexpected rival in this quest: the Omagua. Payoreva has decided that he wants a beachhead on the east side of the Atlantic, and based on his recon, Montpellier seems like the most promising option. (It's clear, therefore, that Payoreva has not yet discovered Bourges.)
Sharp-eyed viewers may have noted, in the last slide, that Chinon had abruptly changed hands. This is because England and France have made peace! Jeanne walks out of the war with eight cities to her name, which is a very respectable count... but given that the war saw her losing her capital, that's unlikely to be much comfort. Conversely, Henry V is surely happy with the three extra cities he's now acquired in northwestern Europe.
After grabbing Uruk in a surprising peace deal last part, Yemen's Arwa al-Sulayhi has decided she wants to expand her Mesopotamian holdings. This time, she's letting Ur get a bit of a respite— instead, her target is the Pahlavi. This war will probably start slow, as both sides have only small forces near the border; however, Yemen has a much larger production base available to them, so if Arwa plays the waiting game then she's sure to win.
Also joining the war on Yemen's side is Egypt. Though Egypt isn't particularly close to the Pahlavi border, there are some Egyptian units on the Arabian peninsula, so it's definitely plausible that they have some real participation in this war.
Ayutthaya falls! The Bengal-Siam war has seen its first city capture! Sadly for fans of bloodshed, this may also be the last city capture of the war; despite one cheeky cannon behind the city banner of Ubon Ratchathani, Siam's remaining cities are pretty safe from the Bengali forces. If Shuja-ud-Din wants to make any more gains in this fight, he'll need to gamble on a circuitous embarkation campaign.
Sun Yat-sen wants to build some boats... so understandably, he's not thrilled that Goguryeo has claimed a bunch of land on the Chinese coast. This sort of dispute devolves, of course, into war.
Gwanggaeto has a respectable army, albeit one with very inconsistent levels of tech; however, his units are largely tangled up in the north, and will probably be too slow to protect Namso or Pyongyang from capture.
Yemen declares war on Luba! You'd be forgiven for thinking this was a purely symbolic declaration, that this war could never be waged— but in fact, the two empires border each other on Madagascar. Luba has bigger issues to worry about, and consequently gives absolutely zero shits about Budyende, so this will probably be a cut-and-dry victory for the Yemeni forces.
As an example of Luba's bigger issues: a whole troop of Azande archers taking potshots at Kabongo, and another one waiting in the wings by Zemio. Luba fans can at least take heart in the fact that the attack on Mwibele appears to have dried up.
Here's a sentence I never expected to say— a joint Omagua-Norwegian force is laying siege to Montpellier. The city's health is rapidly dropping, and there's only one Omagua melee unit in the neighborhood, so odds are good that Montpellier will end up in Eystein's hands. Elsewhere in France, Bourges is gradually recovering from its earlier near-death experience.
Henry V, preoccupied with fighting on the mainland, has left Scotland wholly unsettled. Consequently, we now see a settler moving in... from Lesotho of all places! That's quite the trip.
Brigham Young of Deseret is the first leader to unlock an ideology, and his choice is Liberalism! The beehive boys are swayed by the lure of the free market... but personally, I'd love to see them swayed by the trumpets of war. They've been sitting around in the Rockies for a while now.
Though Namso was taking a bit of damage when we last saw the Goguryeo-China war, it seems like Sun Yat-sen has reoriented his efforts to target Pyongyang first. This is a pretty sensible move— despite Gwanggaeto's efforts, he has basically zero chance of protecting this city. I expect to see it flying a green flag by the end of this episode.
What's the bigger embarrassment— the Ngarrindjeri letting Siam settle right in their heartland, or New Zealand not even bothering to settle South Island after 182 turns? Either way, it's clear that Oceania's roster of civs is not letting the whole “battle royale” idea stress them out, and is instead taking a relaxed approach to the game.
Much like their antecedents did in CBR Mk. 2, the Yakuts are sprawling throughout eastern Siberia. They've got a decent, if somewhat scattered, army on hand; however, it's not particularly impressive compared to the Mongolian forces visible in the southwest. I also have to give the Yakuts props for the respectable number of citizens in their largely tundra-based empire— Elgyay and Tomtor are both bolstered by their riverine position, but Jokuskai and Druzhina have both hit the 10-citizen mark in some pretty desolate spots.
Lesotho and Luba make a white peace! This is good news for Luba, although it would be better news if it was the Azande who'd called things off— Gbudwe's forces are merrily unleashing a hail of arrows on their western neighbor, damaging Gwandu and pushing Kabongo below half of its health. Maravi is still in the anti-Luba coalition as well, but they seem to be having a harder time getting to the front lines.
To nobody's surprise, the wholly undefended Luba colony of Budyende has fallen. The city subsequently gets razed by Yemen's monastic aristocracy, who have evidently decided that they don't need to have three whole cities on Madagascar.
Pyongyang falls! China moves steadily northward and begins besieging Namso next. The bulk of the Goguryeo army is currently floating vaguely around Hyeondo— while a few of the more driven soldiers are waging a defense outside Namso, it seems like most of Gwanggaeto's soldiers have taken the city as a lost cause and are just making sure China doesn't get anywhere near their core.
Now that they've stepped out of the Luba war, let's take stock of Lesotho's core. They're doing pretty well for themselves; the heart of their empire is a five-city V that pointedly avoids the Namib Desert, and (besides Maseru) each city in that V enjoys a solid population level. Moshoeshoe is also fielding his UU, the Kololo Marksman, up near Butha-Buthe; this unique Gatling Gun is stronger near mountains, which means that it would've been quite useful if he was still at war with Luba.
Portugal got in on the anti-Luba coalition at some point as well, and Carlos is pressing his advantage quite effectively! Northwest Africa is the remotest fringe of the Luba Empire, and so Ilunga Sungu has little recourse to stop the Portuguese from besieging Musumba. The city seems sure to fall.
Montpellier falls! Sure enough, it's Norway who captures the city; the Omagua's lone trireme has been sunk, meaning that their participation in this war will be reduced to skirmishes. Unimpressed with France's colonization efforts, Eystein opts to simply burn the city. (The Lesotho settler in Scotland, meanwhile, has settled down and started the city of Maputsoe. Henry won't be happy when he discovers this one.)
Have you been wondering what the Eastern Finns are up to? If so, I don't blame you; we haven't seen them for a while. And, as it turns out, there's a reason for that. Tyushtya has a comfortable empire with strong infrastructure, but he's shown little desire to get involved in war. The Eastern Finns' only significant conflict led them to capture the Russian capital, and it seems like Tyushtya is content to enjoy his 100% success rate.
Musumba falls to Portugal, and looking at the thinness of Luba's northerly forces, there's no way that it flips back! Carlos presumably wants to move onward to Granada from here, in order to capture the one Almohad city that's eluded him thus far.
The war between Luba and Sierra Leone, as it turns out, never ended. Although the two sides had enjoyed a lengthy détente, Thomas Peters eventually realizes that he never signed a full armistice, and he decides to reinitiate hostilities. A platoon of Black Loyalists moves against the skeleton crew defending Sanharão.
Having pushed France off of Scandinavia, Eystein of Norway next turns his eye to the largest obstacle between him and a unified peninsula: namely, Sweden. Eystein is confident that he can enclose and crush the Swedish core, but looking at the two sides' armies... I'm not sure if I share that confidence.
Shuja-ud-Din Muhammad Khan has been meticulously beating up the Siamese armies and attaining ground superiority, but he's run into an unpleasant surprise, as Rama V brings his navy to battle. The sizable force of Siamese ships prevents Bengal from being able to embark their units across the bay, which means that Shuja-ud-Din's offense is dependent on whether he can maneuver the mountain passes of Burma. This is probably the end of the Bengali advance, unless Shuja-ud-Din finds himself some more ships somewhere.
Jeanne d'Arc, bruised and needing a win, decides to join Norway in going to war against Sweden. She sends a flotilla north to attack Christina's embarked units; that's likely all we'll see it do for now, though, as I highly doubt it's a large enough force to seize Stockholm.
Makhnovist ships have also filled the area, though their objective has yet to be revealed. (Despite the ongoing Russian war, Yekaterinburg is inland, so it's not exactly susceptile to naval invasion.) Is Makhno on France's side? Or is he trying to slow them down and lead them to defeat?
The war is over! Siam makes peace with Bengal, handing over Ubon Ratchathani in exchange for peace. The Siamese delegation doesn't find Shuja-ud-Din in a very charitable mood, though; frustrated by the difficulties he faced in capturing Ubon Ratchathani outright, he opts to simply burn the city rather than govern it.
Apparently stung by my earlier criticism of his inactivity, Brigham Young launches a new war against Texas. The last time Deseret fought its southeastern neighbor, it walked out with Corpus Christi; and, looking at the Deseret forces marshaled along the border, it's easy to imagine them repeating that feat. Sam Houston could still protect himself if he manages to muster all of his forces, but knowing the AI's usual level of organizational skill, I think Deseret's definitely got the upper hand.
Siam isn't getting much breathing room, it seems— just one turn after Bengal agrees to peace, China declares war. This is a pretty questionable move on Sun Yat-sen's part, to be honest: he's still got a war with Goguryeo occurring up north, and he's got very little materiel on hand to repulse a potential Siamese assault. With some focus, Rama V could definitely punch a hole in the Chinese south.
After spending half the part shooting at Kabongo, the Azande have finally captured the city! While Luba have lost two other cities this episode (Budyende and Musumba), Kabongo is a much more central part of their empire than either of the previous two losses. I'm tempted to say it's the beginning of a total collapse, because I'm dramatic like that, but— honestly— I'm not sure how much more the Azande will do. They've abandoned the siege of Gwandu, and seem to have spent a lot of forces in taking Kabongo. I can easily imagine Gbudwe declaring this a victory and peacing out here.
And we've got an elimination! Makhnovist forces storm into Yekaterinburg, where they find the Empress Elisabeth and guillotine her for that whole “being a monarch” thing. Russia is eliminated in 53rd place.
Although the Power Rankers had early doubts about Russia, Elisabeth pleasantly surprised us by dealing the finishing blow to Pomerania. However, as happens so often, that finishing blow turned out to do more harm than good— the elimination gave Russia a big ol' diplomatic penalty. The Eastern Finns quickly moved in to conquer the Russian heartland, while Makhnovia swung up from the south to take the rest of Elisabeth's empire. So goes the bloody food chain of war.
Remember this war out in Mesopotamia? Well, it's been pretty quiet so far— Yemen blew some holes in Isfahan, but only managed to bring it down to half its health. However, while this was happening, Tutankhamun was moving more and more units across the Sinai. There's now a sizable Egyptian army marching on the weakened Isfahan, aiming to realize the New Kingdom dream of northeasterly expansion.
We'll have to find out the results of the Egyptian campaign next week, though, because now it's time for the stat slides. At the top of the list, we've got many of the usual suspects— for example, the Timurids, Shoshone, and Yemen round out the top three. We also see Deseret breaking into the highest tier thanks to its shiny new ideology. (Conversely: Siam used to be a regular on this slide, but after their rough time in the Bengali war, they'll probably be recovering for a while.)
The bottom of the list is also filled with familiar faces; for example, Ur continues their streak at the very lowest spot. Interestingly, though, the Mixtecs plunge to the second-lowest spot despite doing onthing of note this episode; I'm not sure what happened to them today, but it can't be good.