Episode 2: The Mad Queen – Y1

Timrtabor: Hello and welcome back to CBRY. For those tuning in for the first time on the second episode for some reason this is a series focused on smaller experimental royales with mechanical changes that would be infeasible in a full game (in this case City States Evolved by Charsi with tweaks by Coiot). Our first full game here is centered on a slimmed down version of the MK2 roster with some of the Civs demoted to city state slots. Think of this as an Elseworlds or “What If?” series in comic book continuity terms. Skies: Hi I’m here too, helping out in parts. Most of the full civs present had a bad showing in Mk2, now’s their chance to shine, as we show off RtP to prep for CBRX2.

Timrtabor: Since this is a new series and original community content is thus a tad limited I’d like to shill my own content I mean highlight an AI game series currently being done on our sister subreddit CivAIGames. The premise is simple: if you decided CBR starting regions by TSL game results, who would come out on top? Rhea, myself, and Nightman are aiming to find out. We currently have 16 of 60ish regions worth of content recorded so plenty to backread if it sounds like your cup of tea. Skies: I’ve also recorded a game for RotG and have been following along closely. Would recommend.

Coiot: No illustrated map yet, but have here instead a quick refresher map of who is in and who is tiny.

Skies: We start off in Australia, where the Aussies have decided to take us out back for some barbecue. We’ll have to see how much Jandamarra likes that, as he begins spreading the Orthodox word. That Maori navy also looks beefy for Turn 90. Meanwhile, offscreen...

Skies: Osei Tutu grabs Qart Hadasht, making Saladin’s scorching plays all for naught, as he laughs from his Golden Stool. Konongo is under threat but it looks like Saladin will get there in time to reinforce it. In the top right, some intrepid Spartans set out to settle on Cyprus, spreading the world of Leg Day.

Skies: In the new American tradition, a horde of republican thugs are out to try and destroy one of the nation-state’s oldest institutions. Except these are the Buccaneers, and New York is an entire city. It drops into the yellow, as Kingston (which amusingly, is not in Jamaica in this world) has taken no damage, Houston clearly having some kind of problem getting in.

Skies: Well then, guess I was wrong about that. The Ashanti claim Konongo, and make themselves Kings of the Sahara. Even if they’re not a Kingdom yet. It works, ok. Dvin is now the last bastion between them and Party Pope Sali-G himself, who now has swordsmen which is a real step up.

However, Maria isn’t going to be lazy anymore! She’s had enough of this squabbling and sets out to put her southern neighbours in their place, for their own good. Colonialism never changes. Sparta still hasn’t settled Crete, too busy flexing.

Skies: Meiji decides that the Philippines are, like, so far away, and goes back to watching some anime, which in the ancient era I assume is just an actual play with the same surreal tropes. A whole host of wars have broken out meanwhile. Clearly not enough anime over there. China also looks to be approaching the Pearl River Delta, and Hawaii and Korea haven’t done anything. Sad.

Skies: Some Irish boats make nuisances of themselves as the fighting grows fierce on the Baltic front. Never fear, though, for Top Kekk has built the Oracle. A device for downloading and playing the latest EA Prophecies, he’s sure to reach the apex of warfare soon. A city-state joined this war earlier but I don’t recall seeing which one it was, it’s probably unimportant.

Skies: Anawrahta’s Kyundaw Conscripts are pushing through the central Indian jungle towards Agra, looking to get their swords red to match the as-yet-unconstructed Fort. They’re better when adjacent to enemy cities, and a little better adjacent to other cities. The terrain is definitely slowing down this push, however.

Skies: Captain Morgan’s lads stick two fingers up to America, SOPA, and Big Broadband as they take over New York. Times Square now only advertises rum, whilst the World Trade Centre is rebranded the Plunder Exchange. Elsewhere, Kingston drops to half under a barrage of Texan arrows.

Skies: In a quick and tidy bit of diplomacy by Salazzle, he’s reobtained Konongo in a peace deal with Osei Tutu. The Ashanti boss is having a rough time of it too, as Maria’s navy instantly captures Qart Hadasht and looks to be supported by a hefty land force. Will be interesting to see if Portugal can break into the Sahara.

Day 1432. Sparta still hasn’t settled.

Skies: Trigger Darkhan has a message for the sub. If you give five units today, he can send them fruitlessly towards the Ashanti, only to inevitably have peace made before the get there. Rap songs aplenty will be written in your honor! Just think, one unit sent today could see a hero’s welcome in a few hundred years’ time. Call now, at 0800-666-CBRY, to donate. You could be the difference, between life, and many painful deaths on a hellish, 10000km forced march. Thank you.

Hello Everyone, it’s me, ExplosiveWatermelon. You may be wondering what I’m doing narrating this part? The answer is simple- I’m staging a coup.

EW: In relevant news, we see a Buccaneer settler on a mission. Reports say they’ve found some weird fruit. Best not to eat before swimming.

Yankton finds its home on the Northwest Coast, while we get a quick look at Honolulu. Unfortunately, unlike some sad horse shows, there is no road from Hawaii to the mainland. They’re kind of just stuck there, vibing.

EW: Iceland does what it does best- settling islands that aren’t Iceland. Here, they’ve gladly incorporated the Faroe Islands into their empire. Unfortunately, there aren’t too many islands left in this area.

--MEANWHILE IN THE EMERALD ISLES--

The Irish Empire debates the meaning of their existence. What point is there to a united Ireland if there’s no England to spite? After all is said and done, perhaps there is no Ireland without an England to rival it.

EW: Chile built the Great Wall, which gives us a chance to look at the hidden dragons of this game- that is, the South American civs.

If you remember from Mark 2, a reset caused Brazil to come out on top as the victor. While that’s not necessarily a sign that there’s advantages to South America, there are some traits that make South America a particularly good region to have control over. Most notably, it’s very fortified and has plenty of Jungle to help produce Science. I’m keeping a particular eye on the Inca, who have a very solid start and some strong growth bonuses. They could potentially pull ahead once Universities become available.

Salvador was settled by Brazil, giving the Mk. 2 victors their third city.

EW: Finland’s defense proves itself highly effective. They’re getting dominated, yes, but it’s at peak efficiency. This could prove to be bad for Kekkonen- he needs to rein in Casimir before it’s too late.

EW: Burma’s invasion isn’t going quite so well, which gives me the opportunity to talk about India a bit.

India is perhaps the hardest region to break out in. There’s mountains blocking off most paths, and the terrain is particularly rough. It’s good for turtling, for sure, but unfortunately unless you can develop a Navy, the odds are you’re not going to do well in India. Burma, however, is not in India, and has plenty of room to expand. Why they choose to expand into India, I don’t know.

EW: Another glance at South America gives us the vital news that the Inca have lost their most famous citadel to the Polish. The only way to further embarrass the Inca would be to beat them to space.

However, I’m sure the notification caught your eye...

EW: Poland’s army is terrifying, however it seems to be in an awkward retreat from the frontlines. They could easily take Tampere, but they don’t seem to be pushing for it just yet.

EW: O’Higgins leaps towards the top of the wonder ranking with his construction of the Great Wall, however the lead is still held by the Maori and Finland. Armenia, the Blackfoot, Burma, and China hold a collective third place. Or is it 4th?

EW: Amongst the Kimberley people, there is a legend about a great counsel- the man who speaks law, Jandamarra the Brave. The story about how he got his name was simple- they were handing out Epithets one day and Jandamarra proudly proclaimed himself ‘the Brave.’ Nobody could argue with that confidence.

So, with their newly Braved leader, the Kimberley gathered their poor and huddled masses, and set off for greener pastures.

Unfortunately, this is Australia. There’s not much Green.

EW: GASP! This unforeseen event totally didn’t happen several slides ago, where it went unnoticed! Yes, Portugal took Utique from the Ashanti, giving Maria a solid base in Africa. This could be a huge step towards world domination- Africa is full of City-States, and there’s not too much competition. It’s a relatively easy option for expansion, should Maria venture further.

EW: Burma has a solid siege going in Agra, but it has very much only begun, and it looks like there’s a powerful force in Gaur. If Burma can take it, that’s 1 capital out of many.

EW: The Yakuts have settled four cities, putting them ahead of some Major Civilizations.

Meanwhile, the Buccaneers are clearly making a genius play. They’ve got their capital in the Carribean, yes, but settling Siberia to get more land? That’s honestly not too bad of an idea. All they’d have to do is defend their capital while they expand into Asia. Of course, in Siberia there’s not too much to expand into, besides City-States. I, for one, welcome this expansion.

EW: Meiji invades Korea! At least, he will when he sends his navy over. It doesn’t look too promising right now, but I can see this working out for the Emperor. Hell, Busan would be a great base in Asia.

EW: Morgan makes peace, but Washington is still getting invaded.

Jokes aside, Kingston is taking damage, but Canada has a steady defense force. Sam ‘the Man’ Houston better send in some reinforcements if he hopes to take the city.

EW: The Timurids, who I had high hopes for, haven’t done much except spam units. Honestly, they probably don’t need to do much besides that, at this point. The best neighbor I could think to invade would be the pesky green menace to the south, giving them an in to India.

EW: The Zulu are pushing in towards the Kongolese, which could give them the opportunity to break out of southern Africa and into direct conflict. They’ve got a solid force, now let’s see if they can use it.

EW: The Philippines and Indonesia don’t have many competitors yet, due to a lack of resources to push for an expansive navy. As such, they have plenty of room to relax. I’m surprised the Japanese trade ships can reach that far, to be honest.

EW: Maria has carved out a solid empire! Our sleeping beauty proves that she can do anything if she really put energy into it. That navy is honestly pretty impressive, too.

EW: Tampere has fallen to the Poles! There’s frankly no way Kekkonen can retake it, and honestly it looks like they’ve been completely reduced to shambles. Maybe they’ll have better luck under Mannerheim?

Skies, from exile: A Bucc settler and her escort (yes, she uses she/her pronouns now, was the only way I could make the joke) sail north past lands that in another universe, belonged to the Haida. El Paso sits in Cascadian glory, looking out over the Pacific as the intrepid voyager sails past. The Inuit nation-state has done a decent job of expanding, actually, now that we see it.

Skies: Just a slide after grabbing a wonder I didn’t recognize and so ignored, the Maori build Stone Town. At least it’s not a colonial civ building it… I guess.

Skies: Could it be? A Portuguese naval invasion of Kumasi? God, it feels like 2016 all over again! Utique, which frankly sounds Portuguese, falls to Maria’s land troops as her trireme snipers sail round the Atlantic coast. Coiot’s all-powerful cursor draws our attention to some African Forest Sheep. Less powerful than elephants, these were used to train Carthaginian babies prior to the Punic Wars.

Skies: As we see from the RtP Observer Interface, Akbar leads the nomadic Mughal Horde, which is only one syllable away from Mongol. The Burmese conscripts have fled back behind Mandalay in sheer terror as Warlord Akbar screams his challenge from the battlements of Agra: “Piruzi ya marg!”

EW: Maria loses Utique? I didn’t think that would happen, but evidently it did. Man, I doubt it could get worse for port-

--WE INTERRUPT THIS MESSAGE WITH AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM CASIMIR III--

Maria, I can’t fuckin’ believe you. You wake up for the first time in 1,000 years, and you don’t even think to call me? What’s next, you declare war on me?

-Quote from man declared war upon

Honestly though, probably not the smartest war.

EW: Korea has more units in Japanese territory than Japan has units in Korean territory. How the hell do you get invaded by a city-state?

EW: Sitting Bull, poised to strike out of City-State status, aligns himself with Bernardo O’Higgins. This isn’t the first time Sitting Bull fought under another nation’s flag, I believe.

EW: Ireland sows the seeds of Friendship with the Ashanti, as they get ready to reap havoc in Poland. Krakow looks open to attack, and I doubt a scout will stop the Irish army.

EW: ARMENIA INVADES! This is looking like yet another partition of Poland. How many times has it been, now?

This war could do some real damage to Poland. If they are unable to hold the line, it will come crashing down on them harder than the original Mark 2 save file.

EW: Yes, the Inca are now a nomadic horde. This allows us to get a good look at their very tall empire. I expect great things from them if they can hold all this land.

EW: I think the Texan invasion is more of an annoyance to Canada than anything else. Kingston holds firm, taking no damage from the previous turns. Texas has more forces to come, but will they be able to finish what they started?

EW: Casimir isn’t looking so good. Wroclaw’s down to near half while Lodz starts taking damage. Armenia might be the one to make the most out of this coalition, as Ireland seems to be held off by the brunt of the army.

EW: Timur looks to expand into Siberia, and they’ve got another settler down south just wandering around. Overall, I think this is a good idea- since Armenia is distracted, this is a good time to expand. The question is, will this opportunity be rewarded?

EW: Utique seems to remain firmly in Ashanti hands. Kumasi is facing a naval invasion, but it doesn’t seem like it’s doing too much. I expect this war to be over soon.

EW: The Captain seems confused as to how Epithets work, seeing as you have to actually do something to earn them. I don’t think calling yourself a Conqueror automatically turns you into one. Then again, the only nicknames I’ve earned weren’t in the best taste.

Petit-Goave is settled, and America starts to fill in even further. Texas looks to have a stronger force nearing Kingston.

EW: Wroclaw has fallen to the Armenians, which is honestly just tragic. There’s no way Casimir can take it back, and the eastern front is wide open. Will Armenia seize this opportunity?

EW: Portugal surrounds Kumasi with boats. I don’t know how much it’ll do, but they could reasonably take the city. However, it’s unlikely this’ll revive Portuguese efforts in Africa.

EW: The Buccaneer settler sings a tune to entertain herself. It has gotten a lot colder since she first ventured forth from Carribean waters. Where shall she finally lay to rest?

EW: Krakow is surrounded by the Irish! It’s hardly taken damage, but gives the Emerald Isles a huge opening into the core of Europe.

EW: Chile settles La Serena, a city named after at least one girl you knew in High School. C’mon, we all knew one.

The core of South America hasn’t changed much this part, but we can clearly see that the balance of power is starting to shift towards this region. Both Civs have a strong defense, and there’s hardly any competitors for either to worry about. Still, Chile will have to make some strong plays if they want to overtake the Inca...

EW: And they do! Pachacuti rallies his men and charges towards Chilean territory. Sam Houston, caught in the spirit of war, joins in for the thrill of it. La Serena seems to be the most viable city for capture, so it’ll be a strong point of contention in this region.

EW: Ok not really. But China built the Grand Canal! How this will benefit them in the long run, I don’t know, but the more wonders the better. The real question is, how late is this wonder unlocked? China could have a serious tech lead.

EW: We’ve decided to send an anonymous agent by the name of Smerdis to Austin, to get a look into the head of one of the world’s most prestigious leaders. Perhaps then we’ll know why he hasn’t taken Kingston.

EW: China invades Japan with its advanced navy. The wars of Red and Yellow have begun.

If China takes Kyoto, that’s a landing ground for a stronger invasion force… if one existed in Chinese territory. Truth be told, this war is probably coming a bit too soon.

EW: Maria has somehow snuck a settler all the way to Arabia without my noticing. Damn.

This city is rather undefended, but could serve a vital role in future colonial expansion if it develops further. I think it’s funny, though. Civ 5 AIs don’t really have a bias that encourages them to settle far away, and yet Maria did it. Historically accurate, yes, but surprising nonetheless.

Skies: As we close out with a shot of a heavily militarized North America, I’ll leave you with a small, tiny bit of history. San Antonio used to host an international exhibition, from 1888-1911. Described as “as fine a line of exhibits from mills and factories as was ever shown at any fair south of St. Louis”, it was Texas’s equivalent of the World’s Fair. With prizes worth over 12000 dollars (over 300k today!), it was a pretty substantial, but almost entirely forgotten event. It’s almost impossible that this cylinder’s San Antonio will produce such history, but if there was such a world it could happen, this might be it.

Coiot: We close out this album with the data screen. The Inca still retain some of the top honors in the Demographics Screen but some newcomers can be spotted. Armenia with strong production is a nice sight to see.

Coiot: In this screen I just wanted to point out the absurd number of resources Argentina seems to have, all to the benefit of their close friend Texas.

Coiot: Malachy continues to have a good network of friends whilst Kekkonen has built a nice collection of wonders. Meiji has the Great Lighthouse and should really be putting its bonus to good use against China’s naval aggression.

Coiot: Osei Tutu is in need of some friends right about now, but Sam Houston seems to be doing quite extending his influence on his lonesome.

Coiot: Casimir is besieged on multiple fronts and needs more than just Machu Picchu to hold the line. Below we see Bernando O’Higgins has a fine collection of wonders to help reverse Inca’s domination of the region. He just has to tech up and counter-push when the time is right.

Coiot: Even though the notice on the bottom says two religions can still be founded this is the final list for this game. I opted not to use our new religions expansions for this game and it meant there were not enough beliefs to support more than nine religions. Wakan Tanka is off to a good lead considering its spread on both sides of the world and being uncontested in the Americas.

Coiot: On the map we can see that everywhere except South America may be barren of faith for some time. A big cluster in the center of the eastern hemisphere bodes well for future conflict.  

Coiot: A few choice beliefs. Hope the BLackfoot make use of God of War soon.

Coiot: Nestorianism is prept for good Science bonuses later on in the game while the Kimberley can hope to expand freely with plenty of Happiness.

Coiot: Finland has the useful Dance of the Aurora so the northern reaches of the map while Ireland gets Fertility Rites to bulk up in the Isles.

Coiot: The Buccaneers sneaked in a pantheon before the list was exhausted. The Captain should look to get another foothold in the Amazon for some easy Culture.

Coiot: As always the juicy stuff at the end. The Buccaneers are still an Oligarchy but a Populist faction has taken over as the dominant voice in the government. The Timurids have Citizens calling the shot for a more egalitarian group, despite the Autocratic rule.

Coiot: Finally a Democracy! China is the sole majority democractic government upheld through populist consent. The Incan Horde seems to be enjoying their raiding lifestyle, but a Sedentary group is in control so cities may be growing more for them in the future.  

EW: Here we see that Poland and Burma retain their tribal status, as Canada, the Inca, and Chile all celebrate a period of overwhelming joy! Just, don’t tell Chile about the invasion..

That’s all for this episode, thank you for tuning in! Stay safe, I know these are chaotic times, so it’s okay if you need to focus on yourself for a little bit. Cheers!