Power Rankings: Episode 46 – S1

Cloudberg

Haida finally bit the dust this week after a fairly entertaining performance that often provided crushing disappointment as often as it offered hope. Haida was never expected to do well, but Koyah did manage to overcome those initial suspicions, building a solid North Pacific empire and taking over Yup’ik. However, Haida peaked well before the arrival of Endgame, and throughout the latter stages of the game they lost cities mainly to Metis and Shikoku on a regular basis. Their bonuses going into Endgame were limited, and the Metis cruelly robbed them of their mainland cities almost as quickly as they could be founded. A settlement on Japan made for a few good memes before it too was taken away. Fittingly, it was Shikoku that cast the killing blow, dispatching Haida’s last island stronghold with a quick and brutal naval attack. At the end of the day, 26th place is within the range we could have predicted for them, but toward the upper end—certainly enough to be proud of.

Technostar

When the part's named after you, that's rarely a sign of a stable rank. The Qin experienced this firsthand as they plunged all the way down to the worst-ranked living civ, falling 10 ranks in the process. They had some success this part, taking a city off of Canton, but this would be the last piece of good news for the Qin this part. Faced with wars against the Kazakhs, Uruguay, and Australia, the Qin lost all but one city to the myriad of invaders this part. And, as they are still at war with Australia, their last city (coincidentally where Japan's last city stood back in Mk. 2) is likely to fall early next part. The Qin had a good run, but CBRX has seen mighty civs fall fast before.

Shaggy

So I’ll be honest, I kind of just binged most of Endgame in one night before doing writeups this week because I fell behind a bit and can I just take a moment here to say YES, YOU FUCKING GO NEPAL. They said you couldn’t do it, but India can go SUCK IT. Big mountain plays with some big mountain balls. You beautiful turtley bastard, just make a few more units and even the damn Kazakhs won’t be able to jump over mountains for another era or two. I didn’t get to rank this week but I genuinely don’t understand why Nepal is in last. I think the game is down to the top 7-10ish civs to do anything major while everyone else is on a death timer. I think Nepal’s mountains and relative difficulty to capture make their death timer relatively short, at least until paratroopers or indirect fire units. I’m calling it, Nepal goes out top 15. Mark my overconfident words.

Random StrategyAfter 300 turns of war (yes, it really has been that long), Zimbabwe finally capture the capital Napata. It certainly took them long enough. Nubia gives away Uselo in exchange for peace and is left with just Meroe. When compared to the other city states (of which there are many), Nubia isn't too bad. They still have some land tiles to store troops on for one thing. It has all the advantages of being coastal (you can snipe far away cities with your navy) but none of the disadvantages (you can be sniped by random navies). However, Nubia has one big problem in that they have 3 neighbours, rather than the 1 or 2 that other rumps have. That means there are 3 times as many chances that one of them will decide to grab the free city.

MsurdejWell it finally happened folks,After years of living in Qin’s shadow, Canton faced the combined wrath of the Qin and the Taungoo. The war devastated the small nation, sending from the rump club to the city state club. They still might be alive, but now they’re one neighboring civ DoW from elimination.

Knot

The Yup’ik have outlived the Haida.

No, you need to read that sentence again to understand the weirdness. The Yup’ik outlived the state that made them a rump, and by all accounts, should have killed them. Did they deserve to? Almost assuredly not, but this is the cylinder that we live in. I imagine a future where some bright blue power kills the Metis, and is about to finish off the last Iroquois city, and then somehow the Yup’ik swoop in and steal it, making them the “Winner” of North America. I can’t decide if that’s the best or worst outcome.

Technostar

The Vikings climb 6 ranks through no fault of their own. Why they've climbed so far is simple: They're by far the least appetizing of the newly minted one-city rump states. Nestled up in a corner of Greenland and with neighbors who have far more pressing issues to worry about, the Vikings are likely to remain forgotten about for a while. Certainly, they look to outlast the rumps facing active military invasions.  Also of help are the Moorish cities that, disconnected from the rest of Moorish territory, act as a virtually demilitarized buffer between the Vikings and any real threat, although the Iroquois are working to dismantle this barrier in a war with the Moors.

Rose

Out of all of the rump states, Prussia seems the least likely to to be eliminated soon. I mean, they are surrounded by mostly other rump states, or states that are too strong and busy to give a shit about them, like the moors. I guess the goths are kinda an option but at this point Prussia is on operation survive to which they are doing quite well at. One thing that I would like to point out is that in a previous write up I stated that the Prussians were suffering which according to u/OneHalfCupFlour, official reporter of the Prussian Herald, is that the Prussian citizens have been throughly brainwashed into having a strange sense of enjoyment out of defending the city. Who knows they may survive longer than we all think with such high morale.

Rose

Boy was I wrong about this civ a few parts back with my immense optimism for these bad boys. Remember when they had the chance to surpass being the king-maker of europe, well then the Moors called up their buddies in the north and said “yo wanna start some shit” to which the Sami Responded “yeah but give me like one…. two… hundred turns”. The Moors couldn’t wait that long, and ruined Manx’s whole career. As of the most recent few parts, the Manx have been invaded by the Moors, which broke their legs, the then proceeded to repeatedly push them out of their wheelchair and now Sami, who has a suspiciously tight grasp on their arm. I mean after the beatdown the Manx will still have technically placed third in europe provided they survive the onslaught and Sami doesn't break their arms and or neck, so that would be decent, I guess

Shaggy

I really think the only way Madagascar has gone up in the ranks is that the AI is worse at longer-range naval invasions than closer land invasions, so Zimbabwe will probably have bigger targets before looking at Madagascar with a hungry eye. Let’s be honest, Ranavalona can’t really go anywhere unless they make some kind of miracle snipe of a Marathan city, which would only enrage Zimbabwe, so they are really just sitting on a rock waiting to die. But hey, at least it’ll be harder to get to the rock when other rocks look more appealing to the waves and waves of Zim-flavored death.

LonelyRS

Well then. The grand rumpification hit just about every civ who wasn’t already a power hard, but even compared to the defanging of other civs Maratha’s induction into the ranks of the rumps comes as something of a shock. (And not just because not too long ago we had two good Indian civs, and now we have none.) For one, there’s the cause of their subjugation, their cities pillaged by a Zimbabwean navy just expelled from Australia that doesn’t even belong to one of the two mega-powers that have preyed on so many others in their continent. For another, there’s the manner in which they’re going about it, which is downright insulting. Maratha still had a full carpet in the very recent past, and even now still have far more troops in the region than Zimbabwe does. But Zimbabwe’s troops have a strategic and technological advantage, and so two of Maratha’s coastal cities are about to be rendered mincemeat by three or four boats, and their third likely will suffer a similar fate. It’s hard to imagine Maratha being fully wiped out by this sort of invasion, especially after watching Mutota fail miserably against the Aussies in the back half of that war. But it’s just as hard to conceive of a scenario in which Maratha gets out of this without having their plans for further conquest essentially scrapped, and that, if nothing else, is enough to class them as a rump.

LonelyRS

Every day’s a party in Arheimar, as the Goths rise two spots through that tried and true strategy of doing absolutely nothing. You can’t rumpify what’s already been rumped, after all, and given that rumpification was the main theme of this episode, the Goths’ status as one of the kings of the rumps is certainly helping them significantly. Sure, their prognosis hasn’t changed, and outside of a quick charge of Prussia and massive amounts of prayer resulting in them getting on the good side of a truly apocalyptic collapse their chances of victory are just about nil, but that hardly matters right now, because the other people are somehow doing worse, and if the civs this low on the totem pole are going to care about anything, it may as well be the number in the top left. Even relative to the rest of the pack Alaric’s rising, what with the lack of actual culling going on allowing him to sail deep into the middle of the pack on a sea of detritus. Maybe their current accomplishments in Seljuq-style rankings boosts aren’t going to wash away the stain of disappointment that’s permeated their civ since the very beginning, but it’s something, and, hey, at least they didn’t turn out like the Apache. Just staying alive this far into the game is something to be proud of in and of itself.

Knot

Well, somebody had to win the stalemate in South America eventually, and unfortunately for Venezuela, it wasn’t them. On the bright side, they made it look close. If you had told somebody at part 15 that Venezuela was going to be a real contender to take out Uruguay, few would have believed you. From the beginning of endgame, up until Uruguay actually declared war, both powers looked pretty even, and I think there is a universe where Venezuela plays slightly more aggressively and becomes the terror of the continent that Uruguay is now. But when powers are mostly equal, small edges become big edges, and in just a single part, Uruguay has knocked Venezuela into the dustbin of history. There was only room for one civilization to become the super power to rival the Kazakhs in South America. Better luck next time Chavez.

Msurdej

There was little evidence of Mithridates’s empire this week, and the stats don't look good. With an army weaker than Alaric’s, and a production worse than Shijavi, Parthia is only this high up because it isn’t currently on fire. But as it stands, they really only have two options: Die to Kazahks, or die to Palmyra.

Knot

You know if you squint real hard, the Sami look like a civ that isn’t completely screwed. They have decent stats, a bunch of weak neighbors, and some good expansion options. Were this ten parts ago, I might have said the Sami were in a decent spot to rise through the ranks. Unfortunately, we’re in the endgame of endgame, and giants like the Kazakhs, and even the Moors probably could take a decent civ and squash them like a bug.

Vihreaa

In a world of quickly compounding superpowers, Benin opts to go for a pacifist route. Benin right now is only as high as they are because they haven’t been invaded yet. As things currently stand, Benin will likely be swallowed by either Zimbabwe or the Moors, or even a combination of both. As impressive as 11th place may sound, Benin’s window to become a relevant world power is rapidly closing for good, if it isn’t already shut.

Gragg

For such an eventful couple parts, Shikoku has been rather quiet. I know, I know, they got an elimination this episode. But let's be honest, that probably happened accidentally. Compared to what’s going on to the West of them, Shikoku might as well be asleep. In the meantime they’ve managed to carpet up quite decently and will almost certainly outlive the Qin. Next to the might of the Kazakhs and not too far from the expansive Uruguay, their long term prospects are still pretty bleak. Their stats are all top 10 however, so they deserve this spot in the rankings, at least until the Kazakhs declare war on them. I don’t know about you, but after all Shikoku has done, I’d love to see them survive into the top 10.

Cloudberg

Palmyra is living proof that the top 5 is the new top 10. Zenobia holds onto ninth place despite being increasingly irrelevant, with only 13 cities to hold against Uruguay’s 69 or the Kazakhs’ 61. While palmyra doesn’t directly border either of those civs, and Zenobia does still have weak neighbors she can attack, so there’s room to grow. But how long will that remain the case? By the end of next part, for all we know, she could have the Kazakhs, Uruguay, and Zimbabwe for neighbors. And then she’d still be ninth, but it would mean even less.

Gragg

Never a dull moment down-under. Australia has rid itself of the Zimbabwean infection (for now) but has gained a truly terrifying enemy in the West. Uruguay settled and conquered a breathtaking total of 42 cities last episode alone. Not to mention the jarring loss from Taungoo to the North and the not-so-distant threat of the Kazakh Horde. What I’m trying to say is that Australia is in an incredibly precarious position. They aren’t bordered by the likes of Sulu, Papua, and Tonga anymore. They’re playing with the big boys, and don’t have the weapons to do it.

BloodyAltima

A solid part overall for the ‘goo. Peaced out of the Australian war just in time to avoid their resurgence, and, while the Canton war started as a fustercluck, they still walked out of it with more territory than they started with. The Zimbabwean war is a troubling sign however, as while they were able to peace out with minimal losses, the fact that Invader Zim picked that fight in the first place bodes very badly for the ‘goo. If the next war goes longer, there’s little doubt that it won’t go Taungoo’s way. Still, incremental progress is still progress, even if there were some hiccups along the way, so +1 to Taungoo.

Rose

Don’t let the minus one rank fool you, the Metis had an overall decent part. While they did lose 4 cities to the Iroqouis, it’s alot less considering that they are dealing with a top three powerhouse with a sufficient tech advantage. Metis is not left without options either, as thanks to some admittedly greedy moves by Shikoku, a whole new front has been opened for a larger shot at the Shikoku navy. There are also the options of swiping up as much of a dying Venezuela or kicking an already trouble Iroqouis. There is a definite gap however between civs that could at least 1 out of 100 times win the game, and civs who are screwed, and Metis are just barely hanging on to the former.

Msurdej

The Moors one the last civ before we get to the “superpowers” in my opinion. They have a great campaign against the Manx, kicking them out of Continental Europe and reducing them to a handful of cities. But then a new challenger came in: Hiawatha. The Iroquois are now in Ireland, and have taken nearly all of Greenland. While Laridah might fall, it’s probably the last city the Moors will lose for now. But losses aren’t what you want to be doing, especially as the Kazahks continue to creep closer. The Moors can definitely wound Ablai Khan, but whether or not he can stop Ablai Khan remains to be seen.

Vihreaa

Our vanilla friend Hiawatha finds himself at another crossroads. Though he waged what could be called a semi-successful war against the Metis last part, his achievements were far overshadowed by Uruguay, who bent almost the entirety of the Pacific to his will. With a huge tech lead over all of their neighbors, the Iroquois need to make use of it, and soon. Being the first civ to unlock submarines, perhaps a naval invasion of the Moors could prove useful?

LonelyRS

One net disadvantage of the longer parts: a civ can have an objectively rather good part and still find themselves stalling in the ranks or worse. Take, say, Zimbabwe, who traded two Australian colonies for the majority of Nubia, a chance to rumpify Maratha, and a piece of Taungoo they stole while Bayinnaung wasn’t paying attention. All in all, a pretty good haul, especially when you consider that the damage to Australia’s prospects has already been done and that their new cities are easier to reinforce anyways. They’re still dropping a spot anyways, though, because nowadays for major powers “pretty good” is just about equivalent to “not terrible” when civs like Uruguay and the Kazakhs can double their city count in sixty turns without raising much of a fuss. Seriously. If you told somebody before Endgame that by this point Zimbabwe would hold the majority of Africa and be unquestioned sovereigns of the Indian Ocean, with a position as one of the main tech leaders in the world and a powerful navy and ideology to boot, they could be forgiven for thinking them an unquestioned number one. But instead, they’re languishing as the best of the also-rans at the moment, because if there’s one thing they haven’t been doing, it’s been keeping pace with the world’s leaders. And in a game with an unstable equilibrium, which at this stage more closely resembles a race to 33 capitals than anything else? Not being able to keep pace with the leading pack is very, very bad if you want to be among them.

BloodyAltima

Uruguay gained 41 cities this part. 41. Forget any childish comments on how that puts them at 69 cities for a moment, they magically more than doubled their city count in a single part! That’s absurd! Even if a goodly chunk of those cities are worthless islands in the pacific, there’s still plenty of Venezuelan clay they’ve stolen in that mix. When we prayed for the Kazakhs to gain a new rival, maybe we shouldn’t have wished in the dark.

Random StrategyFor the first time since endgame started, Kazakhstan is no longer first in the stats! Uruguay has overtaken them! Despite this, they keep their first place due to being in a far better geographic position with lots of places to expand to. They have this very episode continued grabbing some of them, namely a few Sami cities and what was left of Qin's coastline. This gives them a land border with Uruguay on Japan: yes we're at the stage of the game where the top 2 now border each other. Watch out for a future war between the two superpowers fought over Japan! As for other powers who might be a threat to Kazakh supremacy, I would mention the Moors who, at least for the moment, have gone all-in in countering Kazakhstan (perhaps a wise move for them). Although they still wouldn't beat Kazakhstan, they would make the war extremely painful and costly. Luckily they don’t border Kazakhstan yet so it isn’t a problem and Kazakhstan can still expand in any direction they want. And they should definitely continue to expand and not fall into a coma because otherwise more superpowers like Uruguay will emerge who can challenge them.