Power Rankings: Episode 48 – S1

Knot

Screw all you other civs. It’s time for the eulogy of a real nation. The glory of Prussia was always underrated. They were initially ranked 58th, an insult to Fredrick’s pride, and he proved them immediately wrong. He kneecapped the wimps to their east, the Czechs, and proved the glory of the Prussian to the rest of their puny neighbors. So much so that all their neighbors, in a feeble attempt to limit Prussian greatness, created several coalitions against this great leader, which Prussia’s military might fought back effortlessly. Prussia never lost a war. Ever. Some power rankers may have led you to believe that Prussia lost several cities in the course of these many coalitions, and basically became a rump, but they are clearly lying, and jerkfaces. Prussia strategically gifted these cities, in order to give other civs like the Goths, Vikings, and Sami a sense of security.

Right as Prussia was about to totally take over all of Europe and win the game, a power ranked named Doom, furious at Prussia’s massive success, conspired with Blue Cassette to reset the game. Even this did not stop the might of Prussia, and they started Endgame as one of the strongest civs in Europe. What was truly masterful though, was the gifting of Berlin to Palmyra, which was definitely not an incredibly stupid move that killed any momentum they might have had. Prussia was definitely set to win, but some poopy face civ no one’s ever heard of called “The Moors” tried to take Prussian land. Fredrick, a benevolent leader, decided to surrender his lands to them, in order to give other civs a chance. Prussia will always be remembered for it’s tenacity to stay alive, regardless of what other power rankers thought of them. Long live Prussia! They are truly the greatest civ to have ever, and will ever exist in the CBR.

(Ok Fredrick, I wrote your eulogy, just please don’t stick me in the stocks again.)

Techno

The doors slammed shut on another one of CBRX's major civs this part, as Shikoku finally falls. Shikoku was easily the most competent Japanese civ we've had in the CBR, as they grew to control an empire stretching well beyond the Japanese mainland pre-Endgame. Unfortunately, a late-game invasion from the Qin severely weakened Shikoku pre-Endgame, relegating them to a start in the northern reaches of Siberia. Even still, they performed well, delivering crushing defeats to the Evenks and Khamugs and outlasting the Qin before finally falling to a joint Kazakh-Guay invasion. Rest in peace, Sakamoto, you fought well.

Rose

Today we have lost one of the cylinders rumps, which the team hates a lot less than Madagascar. The Moors, among expansion into the middle east, found a mysterious bunker among the nile which hid the last remaining soldiers of Nubia, in which the city was taken and we lost yet another civ. Nubia unfortunately never had any “real big accomplishments to highlight, with the most notable being a brief siege of Benin that ultimately backfired, and holding off Zimbabwe for an extended period of time before the front line was broken. All things considered they weren't the worst rump we’ve had, they were in a generally ignored position that stayed in the lower half of the PR for almost the entirety of the game, so they didn't exactly ruin things for a lot of civs who just sort of let them exist until now. While inevitable, Nubia did technically outlast expectations and managed to keep on rumping for this long which is kind of a feat in itself. Nubia will unfortunately be likely forgotten after 10 or so parts, F.

Knot

We are unfortunately denied a clean top 15 this episode, as Venezuela barely holds on to life against the Taungoo. Look, Venezuela, you were absolutely an integral part of this game, and I respect that, but can you and the other rump states just roll over and die so that the remaining real players aren’t distracted? We’ll have a beautiful eulogy waiting for you, just accept fate already!

Knot

a Warrior, a Spearman, a Pikeman, a Swordsman, a Longswordsman, a Cavalry, a Great War Infantry, an Infantry. These are the many things that the Moors could have brought to end the Goths. What did they bring instead? Helicopters. Hence why the goths remain in the not dead portion of the list. Thanks Abd-ar!

Altima

Well that went better than it had any right to. I know, I know, Parthia got carved up like a stoner in a slasher film, but they’re still alive, which is more than we should rightly be able to say about them. Right now, all that keeps it that way is an Indian Composite bowman parked in the city, which under the rules of Civ, keeps any Kazakh units from conquering the city. If they stay put, which they probably will for a hot minute given how thick the Kazakh formation around the city is, that one Compy may be able to stall out the Kaz advance long enough that Ablai gets bored and peace’s out. It’s a faint hope, but it’s still a hope.

Note that this still leaves them with one non-city, non-mountain tile in their entire empire.

Techno

The Metis defy expectations with a well-timed peace deal, leaving them as a weak city state. Fear of warmongering penalty is a powerful negotiating tactic, it appears. With only one true neighbor to worry about and no (relevant) active wars, the Metis aren't nearly as vulnerable as their city-state contemporaries actively at war, but they still could be snuffed out in just a few turns should the Iroquois actually declare war or even just open their borders to another civ the Metis are at war with.

Doom

Palmyra drops 5 ranks as they lose all but one city to the Moors in a handful of turns. We've seen the importance of tech time and time again, this war was no exception. While Zenobia never quite lived up to our endgame expectations, she outperformed every other middle eastern civ from both CBRX and Mark 2, leaving a strong legacy and maybe even a top 10 finish if she gets lucky.

Msurdej

Stuck between the Moors and the Kazakhs, Eadni has a somewhat higher chance of dying than some of the other city states at this point. While she isn’t currently at war like Venezuela or Parthia, she also has more superpowers around her than the Metis. For now, Sami plays an interesting game, working between two superpowers to maintain independence.

Rose

Through sheer luck of the odds, and by Odin knows what miracles, despite being banished to the icy hellhole that is Iceland, the Vikings have managed to break back into the top 10. Ragnar through what is basically the fall of every other non superpower on the cylinder, has gained SEVEN ranks, which is huge for any civ at any time, especially when you consider that's almost half the remaining roster. Knock on wood of course, but the vikings may be able to defend for just a tad bit longer due to the fact that they are stuck on an island, and as we all know: the AI can’t invade islands for shit. Additionally, Ragnar’s two remaining neighbors are too busy to take them on, with the Moors re-industrializing after trucking to Palmyra and possibly prepping for the baby blue blob, while the Iroqouis are fighting said giant baby blue blob in a lasting effort. Maybe it’s just an island civ thing, surviving for unexpectedly long times (unless your name is Minoa) and managing to claw your way through the lower ranks until you reach higher and higher places, and our 9th place civ is an unfortunate example of that.

Vihreaa

They really did it, the madlads. Madagascar has reached the top 10 of the most powerful civs on the cylinder. Let that sink in.

Regardless of this, it’s quite hard to give criticism to Madagascar’s strategy, and it is undeniable that it is working flawlessly so far. By turtling and being forgotten by the other civs on the cylinder, Madagascar could reach a rank as high as 6. If Taungoo and Benin are crippled next part, Madagascar would have a legitimate claim to the 6th place spot. Here’s to one of the most entertaining upsets of the CBRX.

Altima

Despite being the leader of an absolute hopeless rump, Hawke has made a concerted effort to be interesting in this part. From drinking his way into a joint Great Big Stupid War alongside Mithradetes that basically killed the latter (food for thought, does it count as an elimination if you get another civ to do something really stupid that gets it killed?), to even actually swinging a flip against the Blue Meanie, even if he absolutely had no chance to keep it. Hats off Hawke, you worthless, glorious idiot.

Cloudberg

Taungoo got hit hard this episode, losing its capital and several other cities to a Zimbabwean invasion that doesn’t seem likely to slow down any time soon. And still, they only drop one spot, because that’s really as far as you can go these days. After all, Taungoo still outclasses Benin in most stats, let alone Australia. But for how long? We’ll find out in episode 49, when they either get reduced to a rump or sign a well-timed peace treaty before stepping back to lick their wounds.

Knot

As the last of the non powers to not be attacked yet, Benin rises right next to the dividing line of predators and prey. It would take a miracle for Benin to survive a war with its neighbors, let alone come out of it unscathed. It’s basically an inevitability that they will fall. The question remains to who, and when? In a way, Benin is still one of the most relevant civs because whether the Moors, Zimbabwe, both, or no one gets their hands on Benin’s land next part will determine who, if anyone, can stand up to the Kazakhs on this side of the world.

Vihreaa

Ah, Zimbabwe. You’ve got to do more, son. With more performance like this, you’ll be benched! Here, let me give some perspective to you. The amount of ranks that separate you and Madagascar is 4. Zimbabwe has got to make a move to compete with the other powers of the world, who seem to be devouring entire empires every single part, while Zimbabwe takes out a few rumps here and there. Though they aren’t particularly losing any wars, they are certainly stagnating, and the longer they choose to procrastinate, the more difficult it will be to catch up to the other 4.

Msurdej

The Big ‘Guay loses another rank this week, as their week was one of the weakest amongst the superpowers, if not the weakest. Much of their Japanese and Filipino holdings have been lost to the Kazahks, and the only thing they did gain was the former Haida capital. Much make no mistake, while he’s had a few bad parts, Lajavella is certainly not out. He has the most cities and second most production, which could be helpful for say, an invasion of Taungoo. He does however, have to get rid of his low science scores, otherwise he’ll never compete with the other four Superpowers.

Random Strategy

The Moors are the 4th civ to reach 50 cities, thereby officially becoming the cylinder's 4th superpower. It was all too easy. After demolishing the Sami last part and reducing them to a city state, they did the exact same thing this part to Palmyra, and also killed a few rumps so fast they didn't even realise they were being attacked. Such ruthless efficiency. That's what happens when you have bombers and paratroopers and your opponent is still using an enlightenment era military. Their current target is the statue of Zeus (belonging to the Goths), something that will greatly help them with their blitz strategies. Unfortunately, the general in charge has messed up the invasion and has helicopters blocking the cavalry from capturing the city, so it will take a few turns to fix that.

What's next? Well they are now second in military, so they could try joining the anti-Kazakh coalition while the Kazakhs are distracted to the east. Or they could eat Benin, which should be just as easy as Sami and Palmyra. Or maybe they could even try a mass paradrop into Zimbabwe to prevent a 5th superpower from ascending. Though they certainly have a lot of options, the Moor's weakness is that they are slightly behind the other 3 superpowers in terms of cities and production. Their greatest strength (aside from their expansion options) is probably their tech, in which they are still second, but seem to be making a bid for first by going for particle physics and Glados, while the Iroquois are getting distracted by dinosaurs. Speaking of science, the Moors have built the Apollo program… They are apparently going for a science victory... Yeah: looks like BC forgot to disable that... I'm guessing that is just going to be ignored.

Gragg

Geez there’s a lot to talk about with the Iroquois. I’ll try to keep this brief though. They finally removed the majority of the Venezuelan pests this episode, and it looks like that job will be finished at the beginning of next episode. Metis as well has been all but removed. Their overall strength has improved greatly. However (there’s always something) their remaining neighbors are no pushovers. Chiefly the Kazakhs and Uruguay. Moors if you include trans-Atlantic neighbors. In a head on head war with either they do not look great, at least according to raw stats. The current war with the Kazakhs is currently going ok but I wouldn’t expect that front to go much further in the Iroquois direction. This could be a real turning point for the Iroquois. Now that they’re not the big boy on the block, will they measure up?

Altima

Darth Ablai maintains his #1 spot this week with all but two PRs ranking him #1, and even the dissenters giving him #2. As one of those dissenters, I can still definitely see why- his military host is the largest military by an absurd what-are-you-compensating-for degree, he has 230+ nukes, his production is similarly ridiculous, and he’s at least 3rd in every meaningful stat.

He is however not unchallenged- the Iroqouis and Moors both beat him in tech by a solid degree (7 and 6 techs respectively) and the entirety of the last two parts has been a litany of Bad Times happening to people with less tech than their rivals. And while his military score is impressive, his actual force is much smaller than it looks- most of the score comes from his nukes, which while again impressive, are something the AI doesn’t like to use. Still, he’s holding his own against two other top five civs pretty handily, and that cannot be disregarded. Thus, with his impressive stats and solid positioning, his #1 reign continues.