Power Rankings: Episode 51 – S1

June 22, 2020

PowerRankers

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Madagascar
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CBR In-Game Screenshot of Madagascar

1: Madagascar

Vihreaa

Oh Madagascar, how we weep for your departure from this world. There are many power rankers who rejoiced at the notion of your collapse, a stance which sickens me to my core. From the very beginning, Madagascar exceeded expectations, successfully achieving feats that were thought to be unheard of, especially from the civilization that ranked as far down as 49 in part 0. Contrary to the public’s belief, you went on to best Oman, gaining colonial acquisitions in the Middle East. For thousands of years, not one empire dared set foot on the Madagascarian island, it’s territory your undisputed domain. It would be from here that you would spread your influence across the world, influencing global politics through your cultural peacekeepers. Madagascar was a land of great culture, a society that never sought the comforts of technology, but found comfort in the simple cycle of daily life. Historians will view Madagascar as a great refuge of ancient life, while other empires like Zimbabwe and The Iroquois sacrificed everything to acquire more advanced weaponry to fight their enemies, Madagascar prioritized their humanity, and retained it to the end. To think, it would not be the cumbersome giant in Zimbabwe that would topple their great society, but the ever reaching grasp of Uruguay choked out their flame of life. I, many people in the sub, and Madagascarians alike weep at the fate of their people, as it is inevitable that this island that was once a bastion of humanity will become just another weapon for the superpowers to exploit and corrupt. I weep for this permanent loss to humanity, and shudder at the thought as the purity of humanity has become that much less so.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Benin

2: Benin

Techno

Against all odds, Benin continues to persist in an Anatolian city far removed from their original homeland. A lack of involvement from the Moors was pretty much the only thing that kept Benin alive. But, at this point, any civ out of the Kazakhs, the Moors, or Zimbabwe could easily vanquish Benin in a few short turns, earning Benin a last-place spot amongst the remaining civs. Even still, to last as long as they have endured is a victory, as far stronger civs have fallen first. Defensiveness pays off!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Vikings

3: Vikings

Doom

The Vikings reach sixth, their highest rank ever, as Madagascar finally loses their 50 part game of hide and seek.  While a top 5 finish is still unlikely it's not completely out of the question. Either way, top 7 is no mean feat.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Iroquois

4: Iroquois

Altima

Of all of the Iroquois parts this run, this has certainly been one of the wildest. Hiawatha is at war with every member of the Top Five except Zimbabwe, and while he has managed this war alarmingly well thus far, it looks like things are finally starting to meaningfully tip. Maybe. Look, I’m going to level with you, I thought they’d get runt’d this part, not ‘sweep the Kazakhs out of North America because apparently everyone’s just allergic to annexing the western half of the continent.’ They might have barely more than half Uruguay’s military and barely a third their production, and they might be producing some shockingly bad units (seriously, PJs and SAMs?) but the Moors have a demonstrated failed track record when it comes to making landfall in the Americas and Ablai’s straight-up out of nukes right now. Welcome to CBR, where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Uruguay

5: Uruguay

Random StrategyThe unthinkable has finally happened. Uruguay, who has terrorised the cylinder for almost the entire game, has finally lost its capital. Along with it, they have also lost the entire northern portion of south america. And gained a rank? Well yeah... they recaptured their capital and are currently moving back north to recapture everything they lost. How did they manage to lose so much yet still be capable of retaking it? The answer is simple: tech. When the diminished Iroquois went down they had far higher tech than poor old obese Uruguay - no craft that Uruguay possessed was capable of destroying the Iroquois army. Now however, Uruguay has finished the tech tree which means the Iroquois no longer have that advantage. Uruguay also has a large production base in the Pacific which is putting them 2nd in the overall stats; they are using this to build their army which they are using to recapture south america, and maybe, if they're lucky, get some north american land too. Oh and one final thing: Uruguay got a kill this week but nobody important.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Zimbabwe

6: Zimbabwe

Cloudberg

This week, Zimbabwe missed out on their chance to kill Madagascar, but that’s probably not a big deal—it won’t be hard to take the islands from Uruguay either, as Zimbabwe is clearly better in most statistics. A much less one-sided fight would be Zimbabwe vs. the Moors, as both sides’ stats are almost perfectly equal. They both have 73 cities, they both have approximately 17,000 hammers, and the military difference between them is relatively small, slightly favoring the Moors. What that says to me is that both civs might be better off double teaming other superpowers rather than fighting each other, at least for now.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Moors

7: Moors

Msurdej  

Abd-ar had a fair week this time around, as he began to expand into South America. While his original conquest was thrown back into the sea, his new attack might be enough to gain a foothold in America. That’s not considering his full control of the British Isles, or the near control of Greenland he has. But one must wonder whether that’s enough. The gap between the Moors and Zimbabwe is slim, while the gap between them and the Kazakhs is monumental. Abd-ar is gonna have to get some serious gains against the Iroquois if he wants a chance at dethroning Ablai Khan.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Kazakhs

8: Kazakhs

Lacsirax Ariscal

For a brief moment, it all looked to have changed. The Iroquois struck against Uruguay, and completely reversed the Kazakh gains in America - a 100% eviction from the continent - as they made use of the last moments of their tech superiority before the great singularity. We were back to five contenders, and most importantly, the Kazakhs had been beaten.

But we ended the episode much as we expected it to start; with the Iroquois fighting a coalition war they surely couldn’t win, and with the Kazakhs as the worlds undisputed leader, the only nation to hold significantly large holdings on both supercontinents. While this is a setback for all those #anyonebutkazakh fans out there, it is worth remembering one thing. They were beaten. Beaten by a single civ, not even a coalition. It can be done. Right now, Kazakhs are not in a Brazil situation but a Boer one - they’re susceptible to a production lapse, or an uncomfortable coalition, or even just a long quiet spell. They may be our unanimous #1 right now, but don’t think the game can be called just yet.