Power Rankings: Episode 10 – S2

Release Date:

June 23, 2021

Narrated by:

Power-Rankers

Abstract

Power Rankings! They’re rankings of power! (But only as of the instant of the end of the previous episode, as these are not meant to be future predictions!) Power Rankings!

Viewing: Vertical

Jump to scene

Vietnam

1 / 0

1: Vietnam

Rosay:

Welp they finally fell. To be honest Vietnam's downfall wasn't entirely them screwing up, and while sure there was a bit of that, most of the reason for the nation’s downfall was due to geographic inevitability. Letting Taiping settle China was definitely the most damaging way Vietnam screwed itself; everything after that was more or less a ripple. With the obligatory strong China civ being Taiping and the more unexpected south Asian powerhouse being Malacca, Vietnam was doomed to enter an infinite war with Laos. The game was rigged from the start, F.

2: Manchu

Knot:

So ends the second yellow civ in China that could have been excellent, and instead was pretty terrible. Ranked 7th in the pregame power rankings, the expectation was for them to settle fast, and be a pretty formidable eastern power. Then the exact opposite of that happened, as they had a pretty abysmal part one getting hemmed in by Yuan and forward settled by Japan immediately. That basically sunk them for the rest of the game though I maintain that this start could have been overcome. They had the AI, resources, and position to dig their way out of this hole if they applied themselves, but such application never came. From then on, Manchu simply remained stuck in the prison they created themselves as their neighbors slowly nibbled away at them before finally dying this part. I don’t think they will be missed, but do give them one passing thought of pity before you go.

3: Jamaica

Rosay:

Ever since the first PRcast (coming back soon(tm)) I said that Jamaica was gonna be bad, just not *as bad* as everyone said it would be, and I’m glad I held onto that theory. Jamaica did actually have some strong moments this season however, such as screwing over Gran Colombia in the early game. Realistically, nobody is ever gonna pull a Buccs and become a Caribbean powerhouse, but at the very least Jamaica was entertaining. In fact, largely due to being an island, Jamaica actually outlived most of the initial rump civs, and actually fought Colombia and the Olmecs head to head, and managed not to die on several occasions. It'd only feel appropriate if I sent one out to the mad lads in the discord bringing $JAM$ TO THE MOON:rocket:

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Neutral Nation

4: Neutral Nation

Knot

As the last wave of death row inmates have finally gotten around to being executed, we have a whole new set of death row inmates to replace them with, starting with the Neutral Nation! As the New Netherlands close in on their final city, all we can really hope for is that they die quickly next part, so they can be replaced by the next inmates right behind them. What I’m saying is we’ve built a perpetual death machine.

5: Tuareg

LonelyRS

Well, credit where credit’s due - The Tuareg sure did put up a solid defense, staving off certain elimination thanks to swarms of arrows, canny city placement, and sheer grit against… Burkina Faso. Over/under on episodes they survive after Thomas Sankara gets artillery: three. Over/under on episodes they survive if the Vandals declare war on them: one sixth.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of Teutonic Order

6: Teutonic Order

Cloudberg:

The Teutons hilariously climb three ranks as one civ above them (Jamaica) dies, and two others drop below them due to imminent risk of elimination. The holy order is clinging to life in a single heavily citadelled city jammed between Germany and the USSR, but you heard me right, they’re on the rise! They absolutely wouldn’t be eliminated in a single turn if one of their neighbors declared war!

7: Namibia

Altima

The Great Ptolemiac Slugfest keeps Namibia’s biggest existential threats busy. This is all that can be said for them; while their army is miraculously not the worst on the cylinder, and their effective science is somehow higher than a certain recent addition to the Rump Parade (coughs in Spanish) the second any of their neighbors says hello, Morenga will say goodbye.

8: Jerusalem

Cloudberg:

Jerusalem is just vibing out here while their neighbors fight each other. I like to imagine that Baldwin is just out there sitting on a lawn chair sipping a margarita and trying to quell his own existential terror.

9: Olmecs

Cloudberg:

The Olmecs are like, vibing, yo.

10: Anangu

Lacsirax: I wrote a whole paragraph about how the Anangu founded a third city this episode, only realising very late on that that was last episode, so that tells you a lot about the doomed Australians’ current activity. Honestly, I don’t even know if Kulin would destroy the Anangu right now: the Kulin land army is virtually nonexistent, and what is there is almost all crossbowmen. With none of Tjilpi’s settlements being coastal, I don’t really think they’re under any major threat at the moment. We look forward to trying to find things to say about the Anangu for some time to come.

11: Hawaii

Rosay:

Bro this civ is honestly a waste of a slot. Sure, Tahiti is kinda lame but at least they are doing something. Hawaii is about as exciting as watching paint dry, except with drying paint you know it will become a completed piece.

12: Hejaz

LonelyRS

Oh, dear. Well, uh, could be worse? Like, at least Hejaz survived losing basically all their cities while at war with all but one of their neighbors. Normally that sort of coalition tends to be fatal. But, ah, maybe death would’ve been a mercy, because Hejaz as they are now, a four city irrelevant state nestled in between three or four other, stronger nations just coming off a war against them, is looking pretty pathetic. Whole novels could be written about their fall from grace, their utter collapse from jewel in the Middle East’s haggard crown to rump state waiting for the sweet embrace of oblivion after getting ripped apart by the Chola of all civs, but I think this should suffice: Kurdistan is now the clear top civ originally from the region. I’m not even sure that civ exists, honestly.

13: Spain

Lacsirax: Spain stockholders have to be feeling pretty aggrieved right now. If the episode had been split in two, Spanish stocks would likely have hit an all time high, as Carlos made mincemeat of a spent Gaulish navy, capturing cities on mainland France. And then, with one little bugle blow from Genseric, it all came crashing down. A full-blown Vandal invasion of Spain has felt inevitable ever since Genseric first settled Andalucia, but it couldn’t possibly have come at a worse time, against a Spanish army focussing their whole strength on their David vs Goliath success story in the Bay of Biscay. There was only one city to change hands in that war, but it was the big one - Madrid. Losing their capital seems to have loosed the reins of their future from their hands, with the remaining cities clinging perilously to the Spanish coast (and one remaining in Ireland), very feasibly annihalatable in one war. The CBR giveth and it taketh away.

14: Knot

Tahiti:

Hey, uh, Tahiti? Malacca and Kulin are getting really dang close to your home islands, aren’t they? That’s gotta be pretty scary for you. Sorry to bring this crisis on you, I just thought you might’ve wanted to know. What do you do about that? Shrug, prepare a nice Antarctic outpost, I suppose?

15: Iceland

Altima

So the good: Iceland proper mostly flies the Grey and White still, and the devil’s bargain that got Two Sicilies into the war left the German fleet battered for the experience such that the remainder can be retaken. Further, the Germans are a little busy fighting Spanish Cordoba with what fleet they still have.

The bad: Iceland spent the entire time before the Sicilians joined in eating pure red-and-grey pain, leaving them at just-shy-of a fifth the German military and just-north-of a tenth their production. Further, their science is miserable. Effective science 195. If this war continues, it will swing back to “and then Iceland eats curb” territory. Strange things have happened, but I don’t see Iceland making a comeback this game.

16: Georgia

LonelyRS

For a civ that both neighbors and is at war with Uzbekistan, damn, Georgia had a really quiet part. Which, I mean, that’s nice, quiet’s good when you’re at war with a top ten civ, but still. Suppose that’s the issue with defensive stands - nobody gives you credit for them while they’re happening, because there’s hardly ever much point to paying undue attention to a meatgrinder. Tamar may survive, but she’s not getting mentioned again until somebody, most probably her, messes up bad.

17: Laos

Altima

Laos has finally fixed the mistake you all made when you voted two civs into this region and cleansed Vietnam from this world. Further, their Aseaism continues to somehow accidentally benefit them, denying the Chola their massive naval advantage while they push on both the pathetic garrison of Pontianak and the more modern defenders of Uraiyur. All told, surprisingly good part for them. Still doesn’t pull them into real relevance, but hey, this runt has some life in him.

18: VOC

LonelyRS

The Dutch East India Company is probably the nicest place to live in the cylinder. Reasonably advanced, constantly raking in money and resources from foreign trade, seemingly always at war with a neighbor that’s never any real threat to them - life there would be almost idyllic, really, were it not for the perpetual, ever-looming threat of “Malacca finally waking up one morning and deciding Indonesia’d look much nicer if all of it were blue.” So it’s a good thing Banda and Soerbaja exist now, icy outposts in the South Indian Ocean even more trade-centric than home, wonderful to visit in the summertime, and sufficiently far enough away from Malacca that they might last, like, ten turns or so before being overrun. Sure, he might never conquer a city the entire rest of this mark, but at least Jan Coen has a wonderful spot to watch the rest of the game if he gets his wings clipped sooner rather than later.

19: Zanzibar

Random StrategyZanzibar joins the coalition against Hejaz! Unfortunately Mogadishu is in the way, and Nigeria isn't giving them open borders so the war is irrelevant. Might have been a good idea to take Mogadishu while you could have ay? The other great news is the founding of the Antarctic colony of Lindi! Having a colony is extremely good for a small civ because it means that when the core gets inevitably conquered by a much larger and powerful civ, they don't die, but instead relocate to the colony.

20: Bhutan

LonelyRS

Oh, thank god, they’re alive. Somehow. Yeah, I’m really not sure just how Bhutan managed to get out of their most recent gauntlet of wars with their skin intact, but some thirty turns after making peace with Punjab Thimphu is safe, only two massive superpowers are angrily shaking their fists at Bhutan, and somehow, impossibly, inconceivably, Bhutan looks like they might be able to come into Episode 20 with more than one city to their name. The mountains are going to be Bhutan’s last and main line of defense until the end of time, yes, but credit where credit’s due, pulling out a reasonably advanced crop of crossbows and musketmen to defend Thimphu was a relatively savvy play by the cylinder’s foremost defensive AI, and one that almost certainly won them a draw against Punjab. It’s not going to work twice, of course, but still, Bhutan’s alive and not in imminent danger of collapsing like a row of dominoes, and in that respect things are going better for them than they ever have before.

21: Chinook

Cloudberg:

The Chinook got absolutely clobbered last episode, and this episode they got absolutely clobbered again! Their once great empire has been reduced to six cities, a shadow of its former self, a morsel waiting to be consumed by the Chukchi, or the Mississippi, or even the Dene. They’ve fallen 29 places from the peak of 8th in episode 3, and it’s all but certain that it will only continue to be downhill from here. Comcomly will perhaps be remembered in the history books as the doormat that let the Chukchi into North America.

22: Great Perm

Altima

Fun fact: Basically every instance of ‘Perm’ in the part script is as a part of the word permeate or permit. Perm continues its steadfast inability to do things, even things like ‘die’, as the Urals shield it from PARG far more effectively than their own tiny, primitive army. At the very least, whatever devil’s pact they’ve made to keep the USSR off their backs is still working, so they’ve got that going for them.

23: Yuan

Altima

The Grinding Yuan War continues, neither side capable of putting together a decisive edge as both Yuans are illiterates with tiny armies, even if the Purple one has muskets instead of longswords. The Yuan aren’t in a great position, haven’t been in a while; 155 effective science is real bad, folks; but at least their existentially dangerous southern neighbor is busy being themselves under existential threat (never mind the damage said neighbors did them). Long term, should the Yuan War continue, the fact that the Yuan have less than half their Northern sisters’ production will probably kill them, but the war will probably peter out by then and instead another Yuan-Taiping war will begin or something.

24: Palmares

Vihreaa

Palmares has become something of a laughingstock of South America over the last few parts. While other empires are either building carpets or settling new cities, Palmares has managed to lose their capital to a foreign nation across the ocean. Now they are left with the fewest cities of any civ in South America, and only a single coastal city.

25: Tongva

Random Strategy

Tongva finds itself at war with the biggest civ of its continent and has already lost a city. Now normally this would be exciting news and mean a rank drop, but here's the thing: nobody cares. Nobody has even mentioned Tongva this week. The city in question was isolated from the rest of the empire and was therefore undefendable anyway. Rio Grande has a big army but they are incapable of sending it through the Rockies to actually achieve anything (not to mention the Tongvan crossbowmen guarding the passes). As for the Rio Pacific navy, it appears to contain exactly 3 boats as far as I can tell. Absolutely nobody cares.

26: Kurdistan

MsurdejGreat Googly Mooglies! Kurdistan got mentioned! And they actually DID something! Sure, their war with Hejaz led to no gains for Banzani, but hey, they did something! That alone is enough to push Kurdistan up a few ranks.

27: Japan

Lacsirax:Mmmm, no. Not got much on these guys this week. The Japanese aren’t at war with anyone, they didn’t change rank at all, and they didn’t even do some third thing. Still, next time we hear something exciting about Japan, it will probably be them being eviscerated, so no news is good news. The only thing of note is that they have an astonishingly low deviation for a civ at the middle of the pack, with all rankers broadly agreeing that Japan is the epitome of mediocre.

28: Finland

Vihreaa

Finland is the human that is playing that everyone missed when creating the game. They have not effectively fought any offensive wars, and are just turtling as their cites grow more and more densely populated. Considering they don’t have construction technology possible to make skyscrapers, their cities must sprawl for dozens upon dozens of miles. Imagine the population of the Tokyo metro area, except spread out over no more than a few story buildings, throughout like the entire country. That is Finland.

29: Sweden

Rosay:

Sweden is currently on that line between “civs that have relevancy potential” and pseudo rump (let’s call this the Kurd point) but there is one way that the Swedes can secure a decent position in a crowded Europe: Finland. Besides the symbolic unification of Scandinavia, Finland can become a potential target as Germany has military access through Sweden and the USSR has grown a smell for blood. If either of these nations can start doing damage, then the Swedes can pick up the remains, core the remains, and build up said remains to take on other civs. It’s an uphill battle, but beyond impossible, I mean look at Rio Grande or Gran Colombia, comebacks do happen.

30: Kosovo

Lacsirax: Weird old week for the Kosovar. Well, it’s always kind of a weird week for the nation that seems to sit on the perilous line between defeatable and impenetrable, waging wars against civs with production and military levels that dwarf Kosovo to little consequence. Wrapping up a mostly bloodless war with the Soviets, this episode’s exploits focussed mainly on a flipfest for Mitrovice, a battle that doesn’t show any sign of resolution, but also one whose loss wouldn’t really allow much of a continued Ptolemaic invasion, with it being their only accessible naval city to Cleopatra. Instinctually I would say Rugova’s best options are to hold on for a dogpile, probably against Germany, and take a decent chunk in the mayhem. For now though position still seems sheltered, and it wouldn’t surprise me if their borders remained pretty constant for a good few episodes to come.

31: Taiping

Vihreaa

Taiping in this part essentially was the old antagonist that used to be the rival of the protagonist, (Malacca) but now the protagonist has come back after a training arc and kicked his butt. Aside from getting absolutely embarrassed by Malacca’s navy, Taiping also fought a stalemate with Yuan, failing to make any major gains. With the way their war is going with Malacca, they could be refined to being landlocked because of Malacca’s overwhelming navy.

32: Northern Yuan

Knot:

Another part, another syphoning of the resources in Northern Yuan by everyone around them. Only reason they moved up is because of the active combustion of their neighbor as opposed to the passive combustion of NA themself. That being said, I don’t consider Northern Yuan to be completely out for the count yet. Japan and Yuan pretty definitively suck right now. Even PARG, while way, way better, is on the downswing. Northern Yuan isn’t like Spain who has pretty clearly burnt out completely. There’s enough of a spark here, and enough chaos around them, I could see them move up the ranks. Then again, it’s just as likely they’ll keep doing this for another 10 parts, so I wouldn’t put much money on them.

33: Burkina Faso

Knot:

I think the Wild West of Africa is unfortunately coming to an end. It was fun getting to speculate on which of the six or seven major powers there could go all the way during the past few parts, but the gap between the top tier powers and everyone else is getting much bigger. Burkina Faso did look pretty good for a while, (Never let us forget we ranked them 1st, it keeps us humble) but their solid stats and sizable land is getting more and more dwarfed by Zaire, Ptolemies, and even the Vandals. It might be too late for BF to get a piece of the pie. They may pull off one last stand within the next couple parts, and catapult themselves back up the list in a final bid for cylinder supremacy, but I think it’s vastly more likely that their time is done. It’s been fun, but it’s time to let the real powers take the spotlight.

CBR In-Game Screenshot of New Netherlands

34: New Netherlands

Random StrategyTough part for the Dutch as they find themselves at war with all their neighbours at the same time (except Iceland and Olmecs but they're forgettable). This is mostly the New Netherland's fault since they declared half of them. The war on Mississippi alongside the Dene was a good attempt at a coalition but they really shouldn't have waited for Rio Grande to peace out before attacking. The bigger problem was when Gran Colombia and the Vandals teamed up to take the Carribean, which ended up losing the New Netherlands 4 cities. Fortunately, neither Gran Colombia nor the Vandals have invested in naval tech so the reconquest shouldn't be too difficult. Unfortunately, the New Netherlands have invested even less into naval tech... Sigh.

35: Gran Colombia

Cloudberg:

At the very end of episode 10, Bolivar suddenly found himself the target of a major coalition, including the Kulin, the Mapuche, the Marajoara, and Paraguay, a rather formidable set of enemies. Kulin has already started razing his Pacific colonies. So why hasn’t Bolivar moved down at all this episode? Well, it’s possible that we’re just dumb and blind, but it also is not yet clear that any part of mainland Gran Colombia is in danger at all. So in the absence of clear routes into the Colombian core, we’re assuming that the war ends inconclusively unless the aggressors can prove otherwise in episode 11.

Despite the outbreak of numerous wars, however, Bolivar still found the time to eliminate Jamaica out of pure unbridled spite.

36: Paraguay

Random StrategyFor the second time in its entire history, Paraguay declares war on a civ they actually border! Hooray! Lets see if their bite is as good as their bark (they certainly have done a lot of barking). Now one of the good things about this war is that it is a coalition: Rio Grande, Marajoara, the Chukchi, Kulin, Mapuche and even Anangu have teamed up to deal with the most hated civ of all: Gran Colombia. There are many reasons to hate Gran Colombia, such as the murder of Peru Bolivia, the murder of Jamaica, and their pathetic display of a part 1. If Paraguay can capture a few cities in this coalition, which they are in an OK position to do so, then they might even make a few friends! (that is until they inevitably denounce their friends)

37: The Dene

Knot:

Thanadelthur, you are infuriating! It’s like every opportunity you get to be good, you take it jussssst far enough to pique my interest before dropping it like a stone and going back to mediocrity, and yet, and yet, I still can’t quite count you out completely. Look, the moment the Chukchi declare war on you, I’m throwing you into the “screwed” pile, but as long as you have paper tigers surrounding you like Mississippi and even Chinook honestly, I can’t say for certain you’re out of options even though I know you’re gonna take all those options and light them on fire. Argh!

CBR In-Game Screenshot of The Mississippi

38: The Mississippi

Altima

The Mississippi have escaped the Ruinous Wars with most of their dignity and territory intact, although far from unscarred by the ordeal. They have gone from assumed head of a continent, to just another claimant to the throne, unseated by a man they humiliated once before at that. Where can they go now? Well, on the one hand, they are rebuilding their battered army, so that gives them options (mind, their current Chinookward direction probably isn’t the most realistic of them), but the core problem is that they just don’t have enough of a production edge over any of their neighbors to secure a decisive edge. The Better NN has a broken army at the moment owing to a Vandal-shaped problem, but the geography there is hell; they could probably kill the Neutrals or bunt the Icelanders off the continent, but those are small prizes that won’t help cement an edge over their neighbors. Now is a time where Tuskaloosa needs to step back, bulk up, tech up, and wait for an opportunity. He is surrounded by enemies, and that means more now than it ever has before.

39: Chola

Knot:

So Chola’s stats have always been rock solid, but they’ve always had one problem and their name is Punjab, and that’s kinda been the end of that conversation here. That was until this part where suddenly, some of the PR’s are super into Chola’s as a sleeper that could have massive potential. What happened? Two things. One, Punjab continues to decline. I stood by them last part when they fell from first, but this part only continued to highlight that other civs are starting to overtake them, so maybe this orange wall isn’t so airtight after all. Chola might actually start a chance against Punjab if they bide their time, which is only bolstered by the second change in Chola: they built a navy! Like a really, really good one, as evidenced by their capture of multiple cities from Hejaz across the pond! Suddenly, Chola has expansion options that even Punjab might not have. I am actually not 100% on board the Chola hype train. Punjab still dwarfs them in almost every way, but definitely don’t count Chola out. They have the potential to surprise us.

40: Two Sicilies

Cloudberg:

Ferdinand I rises back above 20th place for the third time, for reasons that continue to be unclear. The Two Sicilies did finally declare a war this episode, but instead of using their navy, they attacked Germany, one of their only neighbors that must be attacked by land. Granted, they did have a random disconnected fleet near Iceland which briefly flipped a German city, but it was doomed to fail without a nearby production base. I mean, for the love of god, can Ferdinand just attack a civ in the Mediterranean for once? The longer he waits, the less relative power his navy will wield.

41: Marajoara

LonelyRS:

They say the best way to ensure a promotion is to kill the person who has the position you want. Gran Colombia might not have been the closest challenger to the Mapuche in South America, but they were certainly projecting to end up there. So, y’know, maybe P’kuee’s standing at the helm of a coalition war against them in a decent position to liberate some Colombian clay in a bid to try and tell us something. Good timing, too, as the other South American civs are finally starting to eat into the Marajoara’s lead in science, and the Vandals seem happier and happier to indulge their ambitions in the Americas every part. Even if they manage to break through the tactically placed jungle on the border and absorb Bolivar’s empire, the Marajoara probably won’t be top dogs in the Americas, but they’ll have a decent chance of being the native civ to put up the best fight when the Old World colonizers inevitably come calling, and if that isn’t enough to tickle the fancy of anybody looking for an underdog to root for I don’t know what is.

42: Lesotho

Vihreaa

Lesotho’s piece of Africa they have carved out for themselves is in fairly safe hands, with their only threat of a neighbor being Zaire, and after failing to succeed in a war against the Ptolemies, they likely will need some time for rebuilding. This means that Lesotho has more time to build themselves up, and expand their territory. It would be a good idea for them to expand into Namibia or Zanzibar, as both empires have few cities that could be realistically captured.

43: Nigeria

Lacsirax:

Since their surprising invasion of Burkina Faso all the way back in the first few Eps, things had been decently quiet for Nigeria, with Awolowo instead developing a double pronged focus on science and wonders. But the successful capture of Mogadishu seems to have a lit a fire under his derriere, and this episode Nigeria successfully shaved a city off the Ptolemies, unfortunately choosing to burn the city rather than keep it (though it’s arguable how useful a Sahara city would actually have been). Still, there’s only so far taking potshots at your powerful neighbours can take you, and we’re still waiting for Nigeria to make another move as intelligent and successful as that early Burkina masterstroke.

44: Mapuche

Vihreaa

The Mapuche continue to slumber in South America, doing relatively little in terms of wars. They still maintain a strong rank of 14, though. With their only realistic neighbor for war being Paraguay, they have a larger military than them, but are behind in tech. That certainly won’t make for an easy win. Despite this, they are fortunate enough to have the largest empire in South America, which will give them more of an advantage as the game goes on.

45: Rio Grande

Random Strategy

After the excitement of last part, Rio Grande had a comparatively calmer part of successfully capturing Chowiinga from Tongva and nothing much else. They are currently in the spot of ”biggest north american civ” but their position is by no means certain. The Mississippi and the Dene are not far behind and could very easily catch up in the space of a few turns. Nor is that position even a guarantee of becoming a superpower. You have to remember that the Americas are particularly weak this mark, and so statswise Rio Grande is merely equivalent to something like 2 Sicilies or Chola or Taiping. That makes the americas particularly vulnerable to colonisation - just look at what happened to the Chinook.

46: Gauls

Random Strategy

What happens when a large and powerful land-army-loving civ fights a naval war against a smaller boat-loving civ? Pain. Spain's advanced enlightenment era navy shredded the Gauls' smaller medieval navy and began flipping coastal cities all throughout the west coast. However, the Gauls could easily flip back everything that was lost thanks to their overwhelming army (except Samarobriva - that's on a 1 tile island). The overall score at the end was 16 - 16 with only Valencia switched out for Samarobriva. The Gaulish land army was also too occupied flipping cities back to have time to march on Barcelona. Both sides were losers in this war. I'm aware that the Gaullish AI is not supposed to be a naval civ and has a general disdain for boats, but when you own the British isles and most of your cities are coastal, it is a shame to not be investing in navy. Well played to Spain though for some excellent tech prioritisation to make themselves as difficult as possible to kill.

47: Kulin

Altima

Today, the Kulin set out upon a holy quest, a great crusade to cleanse the Pacific of border gore; they begin this grand undertaking by invading Gran Columbian colonies. They haven’t done a lot else this part, but one can hardly hold that against them given the noble work before them. The colonies in question are unlikely to contribute much to their position, as they’re all terrible one tile islands; the only thing capturing them does is cleanse the ocean of more border gore.

Make no mistake, Kulin are still growing in power as we speak, they aren’t just twiddling their thumbs, but by that same token so are their greatest rivals, the Malaccans, who as we speak are establishing a real land holding on a major continent, something the Kulin are far from able to right now. The Cleanup Crusade may help in that regard, but they need to commit hard if they want to keep up- they need to assault South America.

48: PARG

LonelyRS

When first we saw the PARG fail to accomplish anything of note against Great Perm, it was an aberration. Now, it’s just about what we expect of them. Yep, it’s been another episode, so that means it’s time for another thirty turns of watching Kolchak be flummoxed by vaguely difficult terrain and only the most token defense efforts. Still, though, all the meatgrindery action PARG’s been taking part in lately’s been good for them: hordes of musketmen aren’t that good for taking cities a mountain range away, but given that Kolchak’s unit composition doesn’t look like it was dictated by medieval weapons redditors, it’s strictly an improvement. Time might still be passing PARG by, and their star may be dimming with every part Uzbekistan works up an even more damning edge over them, but at least now when they die we know it won’t be because they tried using trebuchets in melee range.

49: The Ptolemies

Cloudberg:

The Ptolemies were a topic of heated discussion in the power ranking server this week. Everyone agrees that they’re strong, but the question was, are they strong enough? On the one hand they’ve been playing very well, controlling the most capitals of any civ and maintaining a solid empire, while also fighting off various invaders. On the other hand, they have the most neighbors of any civ, so they are really in the center of everything and need to watch their backs: a two- or three-front war at the wrong time is a real possibility for them. And yet Nigeria and Zaire, both stronger than the Ptolemies on paper, attacked simultaneously and Cleopatra came out with the same number of cities she started with. So are the Ptolemies really going to push out from the center of the world in an endless campaign of domination? Or will they get sliced and diced by a coalition too large for them to counter? Right now, they’re riding high, having eviscerated Hejaz and taken a city from Zaire. By putting them ninth, we power rankers are betting that these gains will continue.

50: Vandals

Random Strategy

Big part for the vandals, as they go to war with both Spain and the new Netherlands! There's just one problem: the Vandals forgot to research naval tech. Oops! Now luckily the New Netherlands also forgot to research naval tech so the Vandals were still able to successfully capture a few Carribean cities, not as cleanly as I would like, but they have still managed it. However, the war with Spain is what brings them down. Now it was technically a victory, with the Vandals capturing the Spanish capital of Madrid, an absolutely devastating result for Spain which essentially eliminated them. But this was a pyrrhic victory as it came at the cost of most of the Vandal navy. This is because they didn't research naval techs (unlike Spain, who beelined them). Now let me remind you that Spain had only 7 cities and were just 1 tier above rump, AND had just come out of a very hard gruelling war with the Gauls. This should have been an utter stomp for a much bigger and more powerful naval civ, but it wasn't. The Vandals did not even win the sea war. They only won the land war. That is embarrassingly bad for a naval civ, and it can all be traced back to not getting naval techs.

Now the Vandals find themselves in a precarious position where the New Netherlands are using the opportunity to slowly recapture what was stolen from them, and both 2 Sicilies and Marajoara have more powerful navies that could deal significant damage to them. Fortunately both 2 Sicilies and Marajoara are otherwise occupied so that is unlikely. Just please research those damn naval techs - you need them so badly.

51: USSR

Random Strategy

So the USSR appear to be using a rather unusual strategy of both having the extremely powerful core of a tall science turtle, while also the large number of cities and production of a wide civ. This strategy seems to be working well as the USSR are now first in effective science and were the first to ideology! Now, since the USSR is both wide and going for lots of science, the best ideology to complement that strategy must surely be order, which is fortunate because Lenin is very well known for...

Wait.

Lenin has gone autocracy.

Ok then, moving on. Now although the USSR has mostly been playing single-player up to this point - albeit extremely good single-player, their stats truly are amazing - they have declared a new war against a neighbour. The target is Konigsberg, recently captured by Sweden. I don't expect it to put up much resistance since the city is still puppeted, Sweden's military is an era behind and it also has to awkwardly cross the Baltic sea. So I'd say this is a pretty good choice.

52: Uzbekistan

Random StrategyUzbekistan are still at war with Georgia, which is still going nowhere. Their decision at the very start of the game to go tall for a few parts before going wide seems to be paying off, as their core is now extremely powerful and productive in comparison to other siberian civs. They are currently 2nd in effective science behind only the USSR! (who are using the same tall wide strategy). They, like most of the other tech leaders, have beelined it to ideology. They have joined Zaire in going order and picked Patriotic War (+15% attack bonus when fighting in friendly territory) as their first policy which will be good if they find themselves defending against PARG and/or Punjab. This decision will, however, eventually put them at odds with the USSR (who uncharacteristically went autocracy). We'll have to wait and see what Punjab and PARG choose to know what the alliances are really going to be in this region.

53: Germany

Vihreaa

After somewhat stalling in mainland Europe, Germany has decided to hop on the train (or should I say boat) of conquering people with a navy. So far, this is proving successful, as their navy is generations ahead of Iceland, helping them to capture many of their cities. Placing 5th this week, many may question whether or not Germany’s time in the limelight is mostly over. Though they still have pretty good stats, many of their neighbors share similarly impressive stats.

54: Punjab

Rosay:The main reason Punjab is falling in the eyes of many is simply because they aren't doing anything significant. While Punjab has been busy sitting on its butt, every civ worth their salt has been busy. Rising civs like the Chukchi, Malacca, and Zaire have all been active in previous parts to justify their position. Not to mention, the nation has falling stats, below civs out of their league like Kulin. Furthermore, their neighboring civs are finally starting to justify their existence, like Kurdistan and Chola. Punjab can still respond and become number one again, but they desperately need to wake up to do so.

55: Zaire

Lacsirax: Mobutu slips from the spot this episode as the Ptolemies defy expectations and take a city from Zaire. This was a war that Zaire was largely expected to stalemate, if not win, and to peace out a city down has seriously tempered our enthusiasm for them. In truth though, this was still probably a mostly-good episode for Mobutu and his comrades, with the adoption of an ideology and the construction of one of the game’s most powerful mid-game wonders, the Red Fort. Combined with the thick jungles that smother their core, this will make Zaire a tough little bubble to pop. The ideology choice might come back to bite Mobutu, with his communist state sandwiched by the fascist domains of Nigeria and Lesotho, but it’s hard to see even a coalition war doing serious damage to Zaire at the moment. For me, this episode was one step backward, two steps forward.

56: The Chukchi

Rosay:Chukchi's domination over the far north east and Yukon is now unquestionable, but that’s not the only reason they've been ranked so high up. The two regions that Chukchi have dominance over are incredibly weak, making their potential enormous. Malacca is still a notable threat, sure, but they’re still pretty far away so it’s almost a non issue. Not to mention they've proven to be a top player time and time again in combat. Remember when Chinook was a dark horse of North America? Well now they’re a non player. Manchu being a lower mid tier? They're dead now partially because Chukchi weakened them. Now there are still options to go after, like Japan, Yuan, Dene, etc. If absorbed properly, Chukchi will become the true superpower of the entire cylinder.

57: Malacca

LonelyRS

And just as the torch was passed between powers last episode, a new civ rises to claim the top spot this time. After what’s certainly felt like centuries of near-misses and a status as the CBRX2’s bridesmaid but what has only, impossibly, been two episodes, Malacca finally makes the jump from second to first. Turns out, ripping into your considerably powerful northern neighbor so devastatingly that you can see their bones for the second time in four episodes will do that to you. Malacca’s ill-fitting for the mold of the superpower as we expect it, science and production numbers decent but not exactly extraordinary among its peers, city count numerous but not exceptional, the rare naval-focused frontrunner in a game typically dominated by land-based powers. But, like, jongs. Those jongs, man. Archimedes may have just needed a lever and a fulcrum to move the world, but Malacca could probably take all of South America with their jongs alone, so really, he was talking mad shit for someone within a few hundred light-years of what was to be the cylinder’s pre-eminent jong dealers. Slowly blobbing, production-focused, land empires that spiral out to gobble up entire continents are passe. Give me a navy large enough to blanket the Pacific and a civ willing to use it any day of the week.

Supporter Comments

Supporters can leave one comment within a week of release.

No comments yet.