Power Rankings: Episode 13 – S2

Altima

In real life, Simon Bolivar was a testament to how hard revolution really is. He constantly failed against the larger industrial and military power of Spain, constantly had to restart from zero or negative, from outright defeat and betrayal alike. He learned when to fold ‘em and move on. He was a complicated man, a trainwreck in the ways that all men who decide to be important are. Still, he persevered, constantly fighting first for liberation and then unification, succeeding at the first and failing in the latter.

In that, I suppose, X2 has reflected reality.

The history of Gran Colombia has been a series of failures and disasters from day one, the loss of the crucial second settler in a war they started, the disastrous forward settling by Jamaica of all people, the general failure to consolidate a real core for much of the early game. Still, Bolivar persevered. He bunted Jamaica off the continent, took part in the partition of Polivia Beru, eventually even eliminated the Jamaicans. They had a reasonably strong core, and looked to have some real potential. And then Marajoara happened, and it all fell apart. The revolution dies in the ashes of Pelu Beruvia.

Random StrategyIf you're going to cheat, when you're mere moments from dying is probably not the best time to start. For indeed, it appears that the VOC has started abusing the same food bug that Malacca abused in the early game to grow their city by 1 pop every turn. This does give us a bit more info on the bug because it means it is not caused by food trade ships (as the VOC only has a single city, they cannot have food trade routes). As for the VOC, it looks like their cheat is too late to save them, as despite Makassar growing at a phenomenal rate, it is still smaller than Hilo, and also in red health with Hawaiian galleons next to it.

Rosé:

Hi, failed stonk analyst here. So a few parts back I made the safe prediction of ”The Teutons are gonna die first.“ Little did I know this little rump would just, not have any wars declared on it by anyone relevant. I mean sure Sweden took one city a while back bravo, but the Teutons have just sort of held, which is impressive when it's stuck between nazbol soviets and the kommunist kaiser. I'd say hold you Teuton stonks but knowing my luck, it’d age like milk.

Cloudberg:

Jerusalem falls another place, reaching third to last. The main reason? While they’ve made peace with Kurdistan, they’re at war with the Two Sicilies, and after Ferdinand I tore through the eastern Mediterranean, they now share a border. It’s entirely possible that Ferdinand will just grab Acre and run. But maybe they’re too distracted to pay attention; we’ll see.

Rosé:

Yuan managed to survive. Well now that Yuan is a certified rump, it is my dishonor to welcome them to the Nobody wants to write club (crowd cheers). Congratulations Yuan, you have been kicked out of the game in all but name, and as your neighbors discover the secrets of the modern age, you will be busy living your feudal life in stolen land. Be lucky that those rebellious Manchurians never got their hands on the printing press, or else your flounders would be point one for a good old mandate from heaven.

Vihreaa

Namibia maintains their rank of 48 this week, but lost over 50% of their land, reducing their “empire” to a total of 3 land tiles, with two of them being covered by cities. It truly is a tragic sight to see, to be honest, worse than even a city state at this point. Please, for the love of god, Lesotho or Zaire, just put them out of their misery already.

Vihreaa

Many pundits predict Hawaii has a good chance of getting their first elimination in the coming part, against the now rumpified VOC, who has been isolated to one city by the Chola. This likely lends the reasoning of why they have jumped up to 47th this week, because they too are still just a one city civ without their capital.

Rosé:

Ok, Neutrals! This is your one chance to rank above 30th or something later on. New Netherlands is falling apart at the seams, Mississippi is being lazy as all hell, and Rio-Grande is on a rampage. If you want to do one thing remotely interesting in your lifetime, do it now or be erased from all our memories

Lacsirax:

You’ve made it to your first rest point. Nothing to read here. Take a breather, keep going, you can make it to the end.

Knot

Oooh boy. Malacca better watch out. They may be big, but there’s a new top dog in town to bring them down to size: Anangu!

…

If you weren’t hiding being Kulin, we’d be writing your eulogy this part, Tjilpi.

Knot

It’s gonna be weird thinking of New Netherlands as a rump from now on. They weren’t a top tier civ by any means, but they had a hefty empire to their name, and in another world (maybe one with less bugs) New Netherlands becomes the NA power we’ve been waiting for in this rendition of the CBRX. The Marajoara of North America, but they didn’t, and now they’re here. RIP Peter’s dreams, and probably RIP Peter himself pretty soon

Lacsirax:

Carlos III chose to support Germany in their war with the Two Sicilies - not a bad decision, as one of Spain’s few remaining selling points is a half-decent navy in the Atlantic, which made short work of Two Sicilies’ contingent, and hopefully it’ll build brownie points with their new German bedfellows.

And that’s all I’ve got on Spain this week. Moving on!

Lacsirax:

Tahiti’s situation did change slightly this episode; his capital now borders the Marajoara instead of the Mapuche. This is a pretty good change-around; P’kuee has a significantly smaller navy in the Pacific than Lautaro, so the risks of dying from the east have dwindled a little. Awesome! Risks of dying from the west meanwhile: probably even more likely, given that both Malacca and the Kulin spent the episode flexing their influence over the Pacific, to varying degrees of success. It can’t all be good news, okay?

Knot

Palmares was honestly one of the most impactful civs this part! Sure, that’s only because they pretty definitively lost a war, but by losing a bunch of cities to Mapuche who subsequently lost those cities to the monster that is Marajoara, they have basically defined the conflict of South America for at least the next few parts between the rising Phoenix Marajoara, and a Mapuche struggling to stay relevant. Good on them! Not gonna help them stay alive long.

Random Strategy

The only reason that Hejaz move up 1 rank is because Palmares traded themselves down to below them. The most interesting thing Hejaz is doing is sending an army through their old territory to join in the fight for Jerusalem. No: not the city that is currently flipping between 2 Sicilies and the Ptolemies: the civ that is somehow not dead yet.

Vihreaa

Laos reaches rank 38 this week, tying their all time high from week 0, mainly because other civs are doing worse than they are, not quite because they’re performing well. With a disconnected empire and being surrounded by two top 10 civs, Laos is about one war away from being eliminated.

Altima

The Vinland saga is officially over. Iceland is now confined to just the two core islands, the last of their continental holdings lost, burning at the hands of their conquerors. Their tech is pathetic, their army weak, their remaining neighbors still terrifying. What little they have could be lost in one part should the Germans (or, theoretically, the Vandals) wish it so. Still, six cities is better than what some have.

Cloudberg:

Tongva has had a hard time this episode, losing three cities to Malacca while another city flips endlessly between them and Chinook. Overall Tongva is just dropping a few cities here and there, and it’s starting to add up. It’s only a matter of time at this point before someone sweeps in and does major damage to their core. Given that everyone hates them and half the world has declared war, it’s probably going to happen soon.

Msurdej  Deep in the mountains, Bhutan has a lot going on...err, had a lot going on. In an absolute madlad move, Bhutan decided to attack Punjab, a civ with far more cities and strength than them. It should have been a slaughter, but surprisingly, Bhutan survived with nary a loss. However, they also failed to take anything from their war with Chola, so it's a mixed bag this week for Bhutan. Nothing bad, but also nothing good.

Random Strategy

So earlier I laughed at the Chinook for going hard for naval tech directly AFTER losing all but 1 coastal city to the Chukchi. However, when your rival is Tongva, it turns out 1 coastal city is all you need (well, that and some useful Malaccan allies). For indeed, the Chinook are slowly but surely winning the naval war and are pushing down the coast, even though the landwar is stalled out. Although killing your neighbour and taking all the land for yourself is good, in the case of the Chinook it ultimately won't change their situation, even if they somehow manage to take everything (which they probably won't). Their other neighbours, in particular the Chukchi, are too far ahead for it to make a difference.

Altima

Well, it's happening. The Uzbek army appears to finally be breaking through the Georgian core. Well, the Southern one at the very least. While Georgia’s chance at relevance died long ago, it’s curious strategy of establishing several maximally long-distance settlements guarantees that this war will not kill it. They will likely survive the death of at least another rump. Survival is a victory of its own, I suppose.

Knot

Zanzibaaaaaaaaaaar. Why are you still hereeeeeeeeeeeee? Go away! No one cares about you! Please declare war on Lesotho or Zaire and end your miserable existence. Ugggggggggggggggh.

Knot

After talking about Zanzibar, even Kurdistan seems like a joy by comparison. At least, they’re trying to eliminate rumps on the cylinder. Trying and failing horribly, but it’s the thought that counts. Maybe they can parlay this into an active role on the cylinder. Perhaps they can try to take out all the rumps: Hejaz, Georgia, maybe even the Ptolemies if things keep going pear shaped for them. That’d require them to actually not be horrible, but you gotta have hopes for something, y’know?

Msurdej  What’s so Great about Great Perm? So far, Stephen has done little to be called Good Perm, let alone Great Perm. I’m calling for a petition for this civ to be renamed Average Perm until they either do something cool, or die. Probably the latter.

Altima

I’m getting Songhai flashbacks here. If you discount the fact that BF weren’t exactly a player before this, “reasonably capable North African civ gets absolutely decimated by a civ that’s also the principal power in Iberia via a brutal land and sea invasion,” is a fun coincidence. Turns out that living in a mostly flat stretch of turf with wide angles of access is kinda dangerous. Now, it isn’t over for them yet. The Vandals are pretty bad about not actually finishing their meals, and could reasonably peace out any point here. Still, were I a Burkina Fanso, I would be crossing my fingers here- the coming part could very well end without them in it, especially if Nigeria joins in.

Vihreaa

Japan rises a few ranks this week, reaching the 28th spot, their highest since part 7. Japan in the last few parts has taken some hits, losing half of their northern territory to Northern Yuan. With a more powerful than ever Chukchi, they really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. With no real realistic path to becoming more of a power in the region, Japan’s future prospects are less than bright.

Msurdej  

Catboy Karl XII was a no show this week, the nation of Sweden not showing up for a single slide. When observers went to find Sweden, they found many of its citizens playing a new game. Final Fantasy XIV has taken Sweden by storm. When asked why, Karl XII merely replied: “I can be a catboy!”

Msurdej  

The continued beatdown of the Ptolemies keeps getting worse and worse. Now they’ve lost all their holdings on the Mediterreanean, most of their African holdings, and worst of all, their capital. Now stuck with predominantly the former colonies of Hejaz, Cleopatra is in a much worse position. The only solace she has is that Nigeria may have trouble crossing the Red Sea, and Two Sicilies being occupied with various wars. But it seems like the glory days of Cleopatra are coming to an end.

Rosé:

I might be wrong on this and correct me if i am, but Kosovo may have the smallest capital population of any remaining civ. This is not too surprising, as Kosovo's greek holdings are far separated from their more eastern lands, but it's pretty telling how far the nation has fallen from grace. In all honesty Kosovo does still have some small options to still become a regional player that makes it to endgame 2, but chances of winning the game are looooooooooong gone.

Cloudberg:

Finland reaches a new all time high of 24th, continuing its slow rise through the rankings as the civs above it collapse one by one. Finland is one of the only non-superpowers that has never lost a city, how about that!

Random Strategy

As far as 'no-hopers' go, Paraguay is pretty decent. They have a full carpet and OK stats. They have an easy expansion opportunity next door in Palmares, and their two scary neighbours are busy tiring themselves out fighting each other. What you want to do in this situation is to jump on the civ that's losing once it starts showing weakness, and then snipe all the cities that have been weakened by the stronger civ. However, I don't think Paraguay is actually strong enough to pull that move off, particularly because of the geography of south america. It will mean that there will likely be a slugfest in the long thin corridor with neither side weakening particularly, with the pacific naval backdoor squad doing all the work (and those cities are out of reach of Paraguay).

Msurdej  Hong Xiuquan had a quiet part. He left the war against the Yuan, and did nothing on the Vietnam front. The big move for Xiquan was adopting Autocracy. This is to be expected of course, with nearby Malacca also taking Autocracy a few parts prior. But all shall tremble at the glorious Hong Xiquan, brother of Jesus Christ, savior of the Chinese people!

Cloudberg:

All of a sudden, Mandukhai is in serious trouble. Her western front is crumbling in the face of a sudden and brutal PARG advance, with several cities having fallen already. She has all but finished mopping up Yuan, so her forces should be heading west as we speak, but the question now must be asked: were all the awful, grinding wars against Yuan worth it? If Northern Yuan comes out of these severely crippled, the answer might turn out to be no. Anyway, for some reason we decided that Northern Yuan isn’t dropping any places this episode... weird. Maybe we’re just not convinced that it’s possible for Northern Yuan to be in a war that doesn't become a stalemate.

Vihreaa

Two Sicilies are in the category of civs that are on the precipice of becoming a power in the world, but are missing just one push. Two Sicilies’ path to power is closing before our eyes, as the Vandals reinforce their home core and Nigeria consolidates power in the region, not to mention their current war with Germany. Some excellent playmaking will be needed to get Two Sicilies out of this hole, but the possibility still exists.

Random Strategy

The Mapuche are slowly losing the war against the larger and more technologically advanced Marajoara. The losses are slow due to the geography: the land war is being fought in a narrow corridor through the middle of Paraguay, while the naval war is being fought in the Pacific very far away from Marajoara's core and principal shipyards. Now there is some good news. It appears the Mapuche have realised that being very far behind in technology is a bad thing, and have invested in improving that. They are now equal to Marajoara in effective science, and among the main powers, notably higher than the Gauls and PARG. So they won't be falling any further behind in tech than they are currently thankfully. The best thing for the Mapuche would be to peace out with Marajoara (possibly by convincing the Vandals to intervene on their behalf?) and use the break to conquer Paraguay. It would be a hard fight but doable, and it would leave the Mapuche equal to Marajoara in terms of land.

Lacsirax: It seems like aeons ago when a war between the Mississippi and the Dene would have been a clear chance for Tuskaloosa to cement his clear lead in North America. The circumstances are so different now: it is the Dene who have declared war, with the Mississippi badly bruised from successive wars with them and Rio Grande, and trailing Thanadelthur in the rankings. But it seems unlikely this war will shuffle things up too much; their stats are fairly even, with Mississippi holding the edge in production and Dene in tech. With such a long border, the best bet for Tuskaloosa is to wear the Dene out on one front, possibly the choke-point around the Great Lakes, and throw a backdoor squad at the old TAT capital of Like-a-Fishhook. A more likely result is a total stalemate - it wouldn’t surprise me if the border of these two North American ex-titans didn’t shift much until Endgame.

Altima

Namibia is right there! What are you doing, you lazy fools? Finish it! Finish what you started! Your aging carpet of knights will do the job just fine, and this is the only job it will do just fine.

Knot

I think it’s fairly obvious at this point that the top tier civs are starting to solidify. We got the rising star of Marajoara in South America, and Africa continues to be full of potential game winning civs, but the odds of a lot of the middling civs like Sweden, Finland, or Burkino Faso catching up to the main civs on their continent are slim to none. Even interesting civs like Northern Yuan and Two Sicilies are going to need a mountain of good luck to overcome their barrier. Really, I’ve only got my eye on one civ that could realistically still surprise us at this point, and make a run at being a super-power. That civ, (and I can’t believe I’m gonna say this) is the Dene.

Yes, despite their many, many, many failures and baffling decisions, I still think the Dene have a decent chance of becoming the #1 civ in NA if they play well these next few parts. They have tech advantage against everyone in NA including the Chukchi, and most importantly, they still have decent expansion opportunities. Mississippi is big but kinda toothless at the moment, and the Dene’s current war with them could lead to some decent gains if they can survive the meat grinder for a while. Not only that, but the Chinook are excellent fodder that can be grabbed at any time provided they can get a decent army through the chokepoint. Now the biggest obstacle is the Chukchi. A sustained and proactive war with the frosty friends to the east is probably game over for the Dene, but a lot of the Chukchi’s current power is in their navy, so they can’t destroy the Dene on a whim. They’re probably more likely to invade Japan or eat the Chinook themselves. Look, I’m not saying the Dene have a good chance of sneaking out of this CBRX a winner, but if they capitalize on the gains they have access to, and continue to bulk up their resources to prep for endgame, we might have one more surprise entrant into the top ten. They just have to not be horrible for once.

Lacsirax:

Zzz… oh, what’s that? The Gauls? Oh yeah, they were in this episode… wait, were they? Oh okay, they had a brief appearance in the corner of a couple slides of the Germany-Sicily War, peeking in rather than interacting. Really, this is a war they could do to get involved in on either side; either retake Alesia while the Two Sicilies are distracted, or go for broke and attack Germany at their most vulnerable time. Time isn’t exactly ticking for Gaul, per se; given we’re going to endgame at some point, holding on to what they’ve got and hoping Germany don’t break out isn’t the worst strategy I could think of. But you know. It’s not very entertaining to watch, is it?

Random Strategy:

You probably noticed me complaining about the Vandals not researching navigation in the past few parts when I had the Vandal write-ups. Now that I have the Kulin write-ups, it’s time to complain about the Kulin not researching navigation. And the Kulin are much worse than the Vandals since the Kulin are far more technologically advanced, so their delaying of it is even more extreme. The Kulin have ironclads, carriers, battleships (though without the oil to actually run them) and it looks like they will probably soon have the first destroyers of the entire cylinder. Yet they still do not have frigates, which are normally key to any naval civ's success. Look: at this point the frigates aren't even important anymore; they're well outdated and the Kulin do have far better ships unlocked. The only thing left in that tech line that is important is the oil, since that is required both for battleships and for planes. And subs are also nice and are unlocked via the naval tech line. And no: I don’t think that skipping oil completely to go for information-era units that use aluminium instead of oil is a particularly good idea, even if that appears to be what the Kulin are going for.

Msurdej  It’s been a long time since Kolchak had the number 1 spot, and many have found him lazy. But it seems that the PARG are trying to turn that around. They have a lot of wars right now, but the most notable is Northern Yuan. They’ve already managed to take a few cities, and have more lined up. While they might suffer some problems if they get greedy, right now, things are looking pretty PARGchamp.

Altima

In protest of their use of Defense Enhancing Supplements, I refuse to give Big River a real writeup this part. We will not be discussing their imminent conquest of Nieuw Amstel here.

Altima

The only thing Red Russia did this part was ruin the best thing they had going for them with a citadel, and that didn’t happen on screen. I think the USSR may be the strongest-on-paper civ that we regularly go without seeing in a part, which isn’t a good sign for them continuing to be on-paper strong.

Lacsirax:I don’t believe it was picked up in the episode, but not only did Ranjit fail to take a city from Bhutan, he also wound up suing for peace. That bodes badly for Punjab, with their weakest neighbour making fools out of them (and don’t blame the terrain - they should have swept through the open terrains south of Thimphu). It begs the question: if they can’t beat Bhutan, how on Earth are they supposed to beat their statistically superior neighbour Uzbekistan, or their ascendent rivals the Chola? We often say that time’s running out for the big titans that slip down the rankings - but for Punjab, that time might have already come. Still, they’re big enough that I don’t see them shifting pre-Endgame, so maybe it’s a tale of battening down the hatches and weathering whatever storm comes next until then.

Random Strategy

This part, the Chola finished off all parts of the VOC they could reach. They now have one of the biggest empires of the cylinder which is certainly good. However there are problems. Punjab is still a juggernaut and is outteching and outproducing Chola right now, even with Chola's recent expansion. That is certainly not who you want breathing down your neck. Although Punjab are almost exclusively a land-based civ, at sea there is still the elephant in the room of Malacca; it should be obvious why they're a problem. So really Chola's best hope for continued expansion would be to look west towards the most stacked continent: Africa. This isn't as bad as it seems since the civs Chola would be invading would be some of the weakest civs of that stacked continent: Zanzibar and the Ptolemies (after killing Hejaz, which isn’t big enough to count as a significant expansion), rather than the big scary powers.

Msurdej  

Zaire has done basically nothing in the war against Cleopatra, but hear me out. What if Mobutu is merely biding his time building up his military, until Nigeria has fully expended itself. Then, with its massive army, Zaire will storm into a weakened Nigeria, claiming the land and destroying their once ally. Or of course, Zaire will just sit there and aggravate us with its boringness.

Cloudberg:

Nigeria holds on to its new place in the top 10 after not only keeping its Egyptian gains, but taking Alexandria, the Ptolemaic capital. It’s not likely that Nigeria will push farther at this point, but their gains are consolidated, and Nigeria is clearly a major power. However, Awolowo needs to be careful. Zaire has built up a massive army this episode, and the Vandals might be in the process of removing Nigeria’s easiest neighbor, Burkina Faso. If Awolowo isn’t careful he could find himself without options. Then again, even if the Vandals do take all of West Africa, Nigeria does not have a track record of taking down large North African civs with inferior tech...

Rosé:

Northern Yuan might finally be the opportunity Uzbekistan needs to push out of central Asia. A consistent theme in between Uzbekistan write-ups is that Uzbekistan would be an easy top candidate if they broke out of their region. Well guess what's happening now, Parg is piling warmonger points in exchange for soldiers, and the odds of Uzbeki ”intervention“ have skyrocketed. Adding that the Uzbeks have twice the military of Parg, with more production, then a stomp might be waiting to happen, if the chance is taken of course. If you need proof that such a power shift can happen, just look at the Ptolemies.

Knot

Hello and welcome to another installment of “What the heck are we supposed to think about the Vandals and are they actually good?” This week, will this invasion of Burkina Faso make the Vandals top dog in Africa or is this the farthest that the Vandals can actually go? Power Rankers remain split on this topic. Some claim that next part Burkina Faso will be nothing but a rump, and the Vandals have finally become an undisputed global power. Other believe that this land invasion cannot truly penetrate the Burkinabe core, and without that this invasion won’t give the Vandals an avenue to actually expand further into Africa. Which of these views is correct? Will the Vandals finally become a super-power next part? Will this invasion even matter if Nigeria continues to be a force to be reckoned with? Will Zaire do something crazy that upends the balance of everything? Tune in next week where probably none of these questions will be answered and the Vandals will continue to baffle us. Same raiding time, same raiding channel!

Rosé:

South America went from being a vacuum of power where the Mapuche were kinda in the lead to Marajoara is the clear power and might be able to win the first full continent. The only proper threat Marajoara has right now are the Mapuche, and I don't really see them as too much of an issue unless you're an island or Newken. The vandals are a threat too, but Marajoara is doing a little thing of ACTUALLY INVESTING IN NAVAL TECH so that shouldn't be too much of an issue. Honestly the best option for Marajoara might just be to turtle up, they really have no competition and with a little time increase their stats to replicate the other top tiers, and become a force to truly reckon with

Lacsirax:

Consider, if you will, Germany’s neighbours. The Gauls, a boisterous nation with a strong military core but without the production or tech to back it up. The USSR, whose strength exists on paper alone, and have yet to record any major military successes. Sweden, a runt nation, and Kosovo, a runt nation in-progress. All would be suitable targets for Germany’s military might, a nation worthy of annexing… but yet again, Germany has chosen to invade Two Sicilies, the only neighbour of theirs who they seem certain to make little progress on. Sure, there’s Gjakovë, a town that Germany has contested in every war between the two nations, and one that seems doomed to forever flip between Germany’s land might and Two Sicilies’ naval hegemony. It’s a coin flip as to who’ll hold it at the end of the war. But beyond that, the Sicilian cities still sit safely in the comfort of the Alps, impenetrable until at least planes and possibly paratroopers. Or perhaps Wilhelm can finally break through? It’s not completely unthinkable. But even then - until he finds a way to decimate Ferdinand’s fleet, he’ll only flip these coastal cities, not secure them. Anyone else, Wilhelm, anyone else would see you contest for that number one spot.

Vihreaa

Seeing the Chukchi maintain their 2nd place position is quite pleasant to see, as a civ that I have backed to win since the very start. Though it was a quiet part for them, they are still well poised to expand their empire on two continents, with weak neighbors in Japan, the Chinook, and winnable wars against other nations like the Dene. With strong technology and a strong navy, the Chukchi will likely be a powerful nation in the coming parts, as long as they keep up a steady expansion.

Cloudberg:

Malacca is still riding high in first, and continues to deserve the spot, with the best stats in the game and no shortage of aggression. This episode, Malacca became the second Asian civ to take land in North America after capturing three Tongva cities in Mexico. Now that that war is over, the question arises: who will Malacca attack next? For now it seems to be Anangu, but it’s not like they’re putting in much effort, so it’s entirely possible that Mansur Shah will open another front in the upcoming episode. His neighbors should be trembling in fear right now. Godspeed.