Power Rankings: Episode 20 – S2

Release Date:

November 24, 2021

Narrated by:

Power-Rankers

Abstract

Power Rankings! They’re rankings of power! (But only as of the instant of the end of the previous episode, as these are not meant to be future predictions!) Power Rankings!

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Spain

1 / 0

1: Spain

Knot

Death roll call! We got nine perished civs of varying qualities to send on their merry way into the submarine never to be seen again. You’d be forgiven for forgetting that Spain even died this part because this part was actually three parts, and Spain has been on death’s door for a while now. They had their moment in the sun. They held 4th place at the end of part 1 due to their high stats and early settles. Unlike a lot of other civs on the cylinder, Spain certainly tried. It’s just that their neighbors tried a lot harder. Both the Vandals and the Gauls settled right next to them, and basically locked them out of any empire they might have had. Once their plans to settle in Ireland were squashed, that basically left them as fresh meat for the Vandals and the Gauls who quickly kicked them far from their former glory and into the depths of the power rankings for the rest of the game. Their chances of having an impact on the game died long before they actually did. I don’t feel sorry for Spain, but I don’t have scorn for them. They at least put in a little effort which is more than can be said for others.

1: Spain

Knot

2: Burkina Faso

Knot

Five settled cities. That was the fact that led to us ranking a civ with middling expectations in west Africa as the civ most likely to win the entire CBR at the end of part one. Now, with their death at 34th, this is the lowest a civ ranked 1st has ever placed in CBRX history. Were we wrong to place Burkina Faso 1st at the time? I’m not sure. Yes, the PR’s did look pretty foolish for doing so when Nigeria immediately took two of Burkino’s cities the very next part. In an Africa that was probably one of the most competitive continents in CBR history with contenders like Zaire, the Ptolemies, the Vandals, and their nemesis Nigeria all having very strong starts, just settling well wasn’t gonna be enough.

On the flip side though, Burkina Faso continued to perform. They not only recovered from their humiliation by Nigeria very well, but they kept up with their neighbors for a long time, and held off several invasions. It was really only when the Vandal finally decided to tech up and Nigeria became the monster it was destined to be that Burkina Faso couldn’t keep up with the arms race, and feel into obscurity, but before that point, they played pretty well, and had they been on another continent, I think they would have succeed far more. Did the PR’s truly make a huge judgment in error, or were they simply on the wrong continent at the wrong time? Eh, doesn’t really matter to me. I never ranked them first anyway. Smug smug

3: Sweden

Vihreaa

I won’t lie, I thought Sweden died a bit earlier than these last few mini parts. Nevertheless, it is a momentous occasion when the #2 ranked civ from part 0 of the power rankings is felled. Originally thought to be one of the powerhouses of Europe, our hopes for them were almost immediately dashed as they didn’t do much of anything notable throughout the entire series. Arguably the most entertaining thing they were involved with during the CBRX2 was the fact that they were mostly conquered by Uzbekistan, a nation halfway across the world that they shared no border with. Talk about a cultural cross pollination, am I right?

4: Hawaii

Cloudberg:

Hawaii, having collapsed at the hands of Malacca, finishes just shy of the exact middle of the pack—a predictable end for a poorly-performing civ in a remote location which nevertheless had its moments. Hawaii started off on the back foot, forced to contend with an already marginal position made even worse by a balls-to-the-wall Tahitian forward settle on the Big Island. Despite numerous attempts to take it, Liliuokalani never did control Hawaii’s eponymous island, leaving this failure as probably her most characteristic achievement. However, after being exiled to New Guinea by a devastating Chukchi invasion, Liliuokalani cemented her legacy in a more positive light: seizing on the opportunity, she captured Makassar and eliminated the Dutch East India Company, ensuring that Hawaii will not sit on the bottom row of the final kill chart. And in that sense, I think we can agree that Hawaii did better than expected.

5: Mississippi

Knot

There was a long period where Mississippi was the number 1 civ in North America (well, if you don’t count the Chukchi). They settled well, they had some good early game successes, and their neighbors in the Neutral and TAT were surprisingly incompetent. I think if you went back to people in part four or five and said that Rio Grande and the Dene would outlive Mississippi, I don’t think people would have been shocked, but it certainly wouldn’t have been what people expected. Part of that is because of the Rio Grande defense bug preventing them from ever expanding past their border after part 10 or so, but the Mississippi themselves played a huge role in their downfall. Let’s not forget the people they ultimately lost to were the Dene, who, I’ll remind you, gave a city they won in a war to Marajoara for no reason like they were trying to lose! The Mississippi rested a bit too much of their reputation and stats to carry them to endgame, and by the time they realized their mistake, their incompetent neighbor suddenly decided to get good and punished them severely for the stagnation. Being left in pre-endgame suits them well, but they definitely deserve to finish just barely in the top half.

6: Georgia

Altima

So ends Georgia, dead with as much of a whimper as they had lived. Burned by the flame of freedom, that which has consumed so many others. They fought pretty hard once upon a time, holding Uzbek hordes for far longer than they had any right to, but after their bafflingly early game exodi left them a completely undefendable empire, the game was well and truly lost for them. All that was left was the burial, and here it is.

7: Mapuche

Random Strategy:

After a rocky start, the Mapuche were finally on the verge of catching up to the game leaders. With the tech tree completed, they would have a good chance at fighting Marajoara and others. However, it was not to be. A few turns before unlocking any of the super-units, the Kulin attacked with their powerful nexii and xcoms. And they won. The Mapuche were unable to hold the line against the superior tech and just died. They weren't even given the chance at surviving as a rump. They just flat out died. That makes them the fourth contender taken out (the others being Ptolemes, Chinook and Mississippi). Now the Mapuche are also still slightly interesting in that they are the only dead civ that has completed the tech tree (thanks to posthumous spy steals)

8: Yuan

Cloudberg:

Many of us thought Yuan had survived this part, only to die on turn 1 of total war, but sadly we were mistaken. Yuan in fact died on turn 1027, well before the end of the episode, at the hands of the Kulin, and nobody noticed. It’s a fitting end for a civ that held on way longer than it should have. Yuan never really achieved greatness, being forced to fight against multiple neighbors for most of its existence. They never managed to decisively turn the tide against Northern Yuan or Taiping, and although they did capture and hold the Manchu capital, the constant war left them so far behind in tech that eventually their northern counterparts demolished them entirely. Yuan then survived for ages in a single city that didn’t have any territory, not even the tile under the city itself, existing as a parasite on the Chukchi, perpetually under bombardment, but unable to be killed because of neutral units stuck inside the city. Apparently Kulin either declared war with their unit already in the city, or the peacekeeper unit changed to a civ already at war with Kulin, and then Yuan died instantly. As did my stonk portfolio. F.

9: Iceland

Rosay

After several parts and multiple more qualified civs outliving it, Iceland has officially fallen. Iceland's escapades mostly included a bunch of invasions that eventually were undone in a couple of parts. Scotland and upper Quebec were at one point in Icelandic hands, until they were instantly overpowered by a stronger power and pushed back to their island. In all fairness Iceland public perception was expected to, and has been, feel mediocre due to their predecessor cbr2(the original) Iceland, a top 10 nation who helped take down the Boers and controlled half of europe. That was mostly due to luck and a good ai however, which unfortunately was something cbrX2 Iceland lacked.

10: Palmares

Random Strategy

Palmares are somehow still alive. However, given that their city has low defence and is already surrounded by Marajoarans, they will be instantly killed the turn that total war is declared.

11: Laos

Altima

Four civs will die by the end of the coming storm. Laos has a single city with direct connection to Punjab, Malacca, and Chola. I’ll trust your ability to put two and two together.

12: Kurdistan

Vihreaa

I yearn for the possibility that Kurdistan, a civ that is in the running for quite possibly the most boring civ of this royale, might, against hope, make it into the top 20. They have done absolutely nothing to deserve it, and would have died long ago if it weren’t for peace keepers, but nevertheless, they persisted. Perhaps if they are lucky, they will be targeted after all of the other rumps, and gain some extra placement points.

13: Zanzibar

Msurdej

Much like Kurdistan, Zanzibar’s possibility of getting into the top 20 is all about hope. They may have a massive city sitting off the course of Antarctica, which is a bit more secluded than Kurdistan or Laos. But it's still only one city, guarded primarily by subs and corsairs, right next to the Kulin. It’s a million in one shot, but can Zanzibar do it? Probably not, if we’re being honest.

14: Two Sicilies

Vihreaa

The Two Sicilies have essentially been reduced to 0.5 Sicilies after the constant onslaught of the last few parts from Germany and Zaire, reduced to a few cities and Greece and on the coast of the Mediterranean. They may have survived to part 20, but will inevitably meet their doom at the advent of total war. The only question left is how long it will be until they are completely conquered.

15: Finland

Random Strategy

So I made a prediction that Finland would overtake Northern Yuan in production before total war started. Sadly I was wrong. Though Finland are 41 turns into researching nuclear fusion (which would give them the massive production boost to achieve that), it turns out their science wasn't quite enough to get it. Close though… Going into total war, Finland's only real worry is the USSR, so their best hope is that Uzbekistan and PARG are enough to distract them. The USSR's main quality is its airforce but it has relatively few ground troops, so if Finland can prevent melee units from entering their territory they could be fine. Finland's other neighbour, Uzbek scandinavia, is disconnected from the Uzbek core and has worse tech than Finland, so shouldn't be much of a problem. In fact, Finland might even be able to make gains against it if the USSR /German airforce tries to target it. You can think of it as pseudo-Sweden since (after several hundred turns of stagnation) it's about as powerful as Sweden would be.

16: Kosovo

Rosay

Ok Kosovo, total war is here it is time to put the Anatolian fortress theory to the test after all these weeks of hype. Can you use your terrain to properly defend yourself from the Soviet, German, and Zaire hoards? Or will you fall under the force of your neighbors, just missing the cutaway for a new cycle? Only this part will tell.

17: Taiping

Rosay

Taiping's situation going into total war looks rough. The Heavenly kingdom is surrounded by Malacca, Northern Yuan, the Incoming Punjabi reserves, and Chukchi. With all this in mind, Taiping certainly has its work cut out for it going into total war. Even if somehow, Taiping manages to survive to make it into cycle two, it is still surrounded by 3 top tier civs (and Northern Yuan is there).With all this being said, I still think that Taiping will somehow manage to slither its way into the second cycle, although it will likely become a bottom 5 civ upon entering. I know that in the wacky world of Civ AI games, you can never say never in terms of a comeback, but this is as close as you can truly get to that.

18: Northern Yuan

Msurdej

With only one part left until Cycle Two, Northern Yuan is likely to survive the coming Total War. They may lose some land to the Chukchi or Punjab, but it's unlikely with how much land they have. If their destruction does come, it will be due to one thing: their lack of science. Having 0 Effective science has locked their tech at 90, meaning a lot of Future Tech is out of their hands. It could lead to Mandhukai’s defeat coming from XComs fighting Paratroopers, and that won’t end well.

19: Lesotho

Knot

There’s two events that currently define the ranking. There’s the impending total war, and the Cycle 2 reset in the near future. Good news for Lesotho! They’re probably set to survive total war! They probably aren’t gonna take any cities, but it’s unlikely that Zaire is gonna be able to fight through their resources and that’s basically the only neighbor they have to worry about. Bad news! When the reset happens, they’re basically gonna be in the same place they were in before: Trapped by Zaire with nowhere to expand and no way to get through their neighbor. I think Lesotho is eternally trapped in the 15-18th places; never truly dying, but never having a shot to move beyond their station.

20: Uzbekistan

Msurdej

Ya know how Northern Yuan has 0 effective science and it could screw them in Total War? Guess who also has 0 effective science: Uzbekistan! While having the most techs of the 0 crew, Uzbekistan is also the biggest of these civs. This may be Karimov’s downfall, as lower tech units may fall prey to the legions of Xcoms and GDRs from their neighbors in Punjab, USSR, and even PARG

21: Chola

Vihreaa

The Chola have more or less fended of multiple Punjab invasions in these last few mini parts, something that would seem unexpected if you were to purely judge them based on the maps that are released for each part. Going off of Punjab’s inability to take them out, Chola stands a chance of making it to cycle 2, in which they may prosper. An arguably bigger threat to them is Malacca over Punjab, as they have an entire military and navy raring to go for Total War.

22: Gauls

Altima

The Gauls have two principal problems going into Total War: one, the Vandals. This problem is obvious; the Vandals have half again as much production and a large navy in striking distance. The second problem is the Germans. For all they’ve flubbed their Sicillian operations historically, their UA stands to give them a metric ton of production when Total War begins, and the Gauls are one of the two main directions that production can go. They need to slam into Germany as hard as they can early on, lest Germany just drown them in manpower and leave them weakened going into Cycle Two. Of course, the Vandals may be hollowed out by Nigeria and the Germans distracted by Russians, but Vercingetorix cannot afford to bet on enemy failure in his unsteady position.

23: PARG

Msurdej

The PARGchamps have taken some hits, but if they can survive another part, they get another shot in Cycle 2 to come out on top.The biggest threats will most likely be the Punjab (who only a few parts ago took a bite out of Kolchak from a single tiny exclave), and the USSR. They’ll have to fight smart, smarter than they have been, but survival should be theirs.

24: Vandals

Random Strategy

The Vandals’ situation in total war is going to be tricky due to the sheer length of their borders that they have to protect. Long thin empires do not tend to do well in such situations. The Vandals are going to have to fight the Dene, Rio Grande, Marajoara, Nigeria and the Gauls all at the same time, an unenviable list of threats. Still, the Vandals are one of the most powerful empires on the cylinder, and all their opponents will be in pretty much the same boat of being attacked on all sides. The Vandals will probably still make it to endgame with large stat bonuses.

25: Zaire

Altima

The Zaire are in an interesting (and dangerous!) position going into Total War. Their primary threat is of course Nigeria. Lesotho and their Arabian borders aren’t that big of a deal in the end, but Nigeria has twice their military. Some of that is of course going to go fight Vandals, Europeans, and random naval targets, but most of that stands to plow straight into Zaire’s core. They probably won’t take out the Zairan core, not over the course of fifty turns, but they will probably cause plenty of damage that might well hurt Zaire’s Cycle Two bonuses.

Their position is not without upside, however. They stand to wipe out or cripple the Lesotho, which would dramatically improve their position in Cycle Two, granting them command over southern Africa to help stand against their northern rivals. If they can beat down Lesotho enough to kill them early into Cycle Two, they stand to be a much stronger power there- but if they flub the defense against Nigeria badly enough, they might well be someone else’s early game curbstomp.

26: Dene

Cloudberg:

The Dene fall to tenth on the eve of total war, as the power rankers feel increasingly nervous about their position. Being right next to Rio Grande is a liability for anyone, but it certainly doesn’t help that Rio Grande has a much scarier looking army than the Dene do. Chukchi isn’t empty anymore either, and much of Thanadelthur’s southwestern holdings are carpeted with Malaccan units. We believe that there’s a good chance the Dene will come out of total with somewhat fewer cities than they started with, even if they manage to overrun some of Vandal North America.

27: Germany

Msurdej

Wilhelm is practically a shoe-in for Cycle Two. The big question however, is will they take out someone else before Total War is over? USSR is probably out of the question, but Two Sicilies and Kosovo are weak, The Vandals and Uzbekistan are stretched thin, and even Nigeria could find itself occupied elsewhere. But in all likelihood, Wilhelm will do the classic German move, and spend his time fighting France until the turners end.

28: USSR

Cloudberg:

The Soviet Union holds on to 8th place going into total war, but that’s in spite of their position, not because of it. Lenin certainly has good production and a lot of land, but he barely has any units, being one of the only civs without a carpet (there aren’t even many peacekeepers—they’re mostly empty). Now, we already know that that doesn’t mean disaster for the USSR, given how the Uzbek invasions went, which is probably why we haven’t dropped them. But total war is a different beast, and it seems more likely than not that the USSR will take a beating before inevitably using their superior production to regain what was lost..

29: Rio Grande

Vihreaa

Ah yes, our favorite cheater. Rio Grande is doubtful to lose any of their meaningful core, regardless of who they face. With many of their cities having over 500 city defense, Rio Grande is likely to only make gains in Total War. Being only one of three civs still in the Americas, Rio Grande, along with the Dene and Marajoara, will have huge swaths of land all to themselves compared to other civs in the world, which will inevitably give them a huge advantage in cycle 2.

30: Punjab

Cloudberg:

The power rankers agree that Punjab is going into total war in a strong position, without any really scary neighbors, but just how good their position could be is a matter of disagreement, with rankers placing them everywhere from 7th to 2nd. Uzbekistan certainly won’t be a threat, with their pathetic tech, and we should expect to see Punjab make gains overall. However, it seems unlikely that they will be able to kill Chola, leaving them with a bothersome neighbor that could come back to haunt them in Cycle 2.

31: Chukchi

Rosay

Imma be real with y'all, Chukchi is honestly overrated. They've had very few good moments this entire game, and are honestly screwed in the event that Dene or Malacca starts to throw hands. Total war isn't exactly looking to be good for the nation either, as the nation can really only expand one way, and even that is limited. Hell with Alaska looking squishy, it is entirely possible for the nation to lose both Alaska to Dene, and Japan to Malacca. Of course Chukchi will survive to cycle two, it isn't exactly easy to navigate the arctic after all, but it will likely come out looking worse for wear.

32: Nigeria

Altima

Nigeria is one of a handful of Civs going into Total War with a good position; the Vandal cities are all thin and vulnerable, Zaire has half their military, there are no real threats in Arabia as usual, and the Nigerian core is well stocked with troops-in-theatre unlike the many Civs that have sent their sons to keep peace in foreign lands. If Nigeria can be said to have a weakness it is that they have too many options to proceed. North to break the Vandals? South to eat the Zairan core? Into Arabia? The AI does not handle options well, and it may well send too many soldiers into too many directions to accomplish anything in any of them.

33: Marajoara

Rosay

The way I see it there are two potential scenarios for Marajoara. Scenario 1: Marajoara pushes Kulin to the edge of the southern cone in total war, resulting in an advantageous position going into endgame. With Kulin gone from South America, Marajoara will be able to conquer the continent within cycle 2 with ease, hopefully being able to stand against Rio Grande before that nation becomes another unstoppable force. This is the most likely option, however Marajoara doesn't exactly have a clean track record when it comes to leading in wars that should be a sweep, just look at Paraguay who managed to pull the meanest pro-gamer move of 2021 and body half of Marajoara before Marajoara finally got its shit together. The final scenario is albeit less likely, is that Kulin pushes back Marajoara, definitely not killing them, but weakening them to a point where they cant stand up to the pink blob and fold early on in cycle two. While I feel that this is less likely, it is not entirely out of the question, leaving the fate of the continent in the hands of the Kulin-Marajoara conflict.

34: Kulin

Knot

Sometimes life is unfair. Almost every PR has been saying the same thing about Kulin for months now: “their stats are incredible, but until they break onto the mainland somewhere, we can’t rank them first.” That’s been the one hesitation for a lot of the PR’s when it comes to evaluating the Kulin’s position, but then it finally happened! They finally broke into mainland South America. Not just with a little piece of land either, they took out an entire country! They share a large border with Marajoara now. This combined with their monster stats basically has to guarantee that they are the strongest civ on the cylinder at this moment, and yet, the PR’s still refuse to rank Kulin first! Truly, we are a fickle, Aussie hating bunch!

To be fair, many of the PR’s did rank Kulin first, but thanks to a couple people putting them second, and one especially pessimistic ranker putting them 15th, it wasn’t enough to push them into the top slot. Why the dissent? Well, it’s because the Cycle 2 reset is particularly harsh to Kulin. I fully expect Kulin to make some gains in South America thanks to total war, but when cycle 2 puts everyone back on their respective continents, those gains are not going to mean very much. The only neighbor that really matters for Kulin right now is Malacca, and that front is almost assuredly gonna be a stalemate. If cycle 2 was never gonna happen, and this game could continue to play out, I think Kulin would be first by unanimous vote, but unfortunately, when cycle 2 starts, Kulin is going to be in exactly the same scenario that it always is: incredibly good stats, but stuck on a ocean continent with nowhere to go.

35: Malacca

Random Strategy

Malacca remains on top, more due to the stubbornness of 1 particularly controversial ranker than any valid reason. For indeed, despite having wonders such as the bionic tower giving them good stat bonuses, the Kulin have managed to grow stronger than them through conquest. Being next to the most powerful civ on the cylinder is not the place you want to be for total war, and even less when that strongest civ only has 2 targets to go for. Meanwhile, Malacca also have to worry about the naval powers of Chola and Chukchi, as well as fighting a land war against Punjab/Taiping. Malacca needs to lose as little as possible so that they can start out endgame well and regrow. However, Malacca are still the 2nd biggest civ so if anyone can defend against the Kulin it's them.

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